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Chorrol.com _ General Discussion _ Movies no one should ever watch.
Posted by: ImperialSnob Aug 12 2013, 09:46 PM
Mine would be Scott Pilgrim,I know it's well loved by Micheal Cera makes me want to punch puppies....and I love puppies.
What movies do YOU think no one should ever watch....also Human Centipide 2 don't watch that apparently(haven't seen it but heard some stuff....woah)
Posted by: Black Hand Aug 13 2013, 12:18 AM
Insulting Scott Pilgrim??!! Black Hand Angry!!
Whaddya mean everyone's entitled to their own views and opinions? I'm from 'Murrica! We impose them on others!
But on a serious note: a few films Black Hand recommends not seeing:
Event Horizon. A Black Hole powered ship has created a wormhole to Hell, literally. General slaughter ensues.
Jurassic Park 2: Nuff said. Three was okay surprisingly.
Wolverine: Which one? Any of 'em really. Hugh Jackman needs to stop emulating Nicolas Cage's movie strategy.
Anything by M. Night Shyamalan post-Unbreakable. Really, why do they keep letting this guy make movies?! One or two flops...okay, everything you've done since...just retire and rest on your laurels.
Airbender: The Movie. Directly tied into the previous....but How Dare He! The cartoon series is beyond awesome...the mind cannot unsee what has been seen...
Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Aug 13 2013, 12:21 AM
the Piranha! movie, lol. It was so bad. Even IF it had the cast from jersey Shore getting eaten...
Posted by: Kiln Aug 13 2013, 02:11 AM
the Piranha! movie, lol. It was so bad. Even IF it had the cast from jersey Shore getting eaten...
Now that I would pay to watch.
Posted by: Darkness Eternal Aug 13 2013, 02:47 AM
Sharknado.
Posted by: King Of Beasts Aug 13 2013, 02:50 AM
Catwoman.
It's gotta be one of the worst superhero movies I've seen 
Posted by: Kiln Aug 13 2013, 03:54 AM
Pretty much anything directed by Uwe Boll.
Bloodrayne, In the Name of the King, and Alone in the Dark are all Boll films. He's a terrible director/producer and almost all of his movies are so bad that you can get drunk and make fun of them all the way through.
Posted by: ImperialSnob Aug 13 2013, 09:17 AM
the Piranha! movie, lol. It was so bad. Even IF it had the cast from jersey Shore getting eaten...
The TRIPLE DDD LOLEOLOLBOOBIES version or the original,the original is actually pretty good.
Also if you want to watch the jersey shore cast get eatten just watch Shark Attack Jersey Shore...or something it was on AVGN's top 40 Sh*** Shark movies.
Posted by: mirocu Aug 13 2013, 10:36 AM
Sorry to repeat some that others have said, but here it goes.
Lost in Space
Jurassic Park 2
The so-called prequels (and possible future sequels) to the true Star Wars movies
Incredible Hulk (sorry, mALX! 
)
American Pie: Band Camp and Wedding
Any sequel to Mortal Kombat
Species
Alien 3
Signs
Director´s cut of The Grudge
Any and all Superman movies
Man, so many crappy movies. And this is just a few of them! 
Posted by: ImperialSnob Aug 13 2013, 10:40 AM
Sorry to repeat some that others have said, but here it goes.
Lost in Space
Jurassic Park 2
The so-called prequels (and possible future sequels) to the true Star Wars movies
Incredible Hulk (sorry, mALX!
)American Pie: Band Camp and Wedding
Any sequel to Mortal Kombat
Species
Alien 3
Signs
Director´s cut of The Grudge
Any and all Superman movies
Man, so many crappy movies. And this is just a few of them!
Now I respect your opinion,but Man of Steel,Superman 1,Superman 2,Superman 3,Superman 4 were great movies.
Also the Star Wars sequals aren't out yet...and they're gonna be awesome!
Also you can put good movies that people should never watch,I mean some would say Human Centipide 2 is a good movie(if they do put them in an Asylum or hide the kichen knives) but you really shouldn't watch it.
Posted by: Grits Aug 13 2013, 01:08 PM
Elysium. Terribly disappointing.
Posted by: Black Hand Aug 13 2013, 09:39 PM
It's interesting, because I actually did like the Hulk movies. Both.
Buuut. Aliens vs Predator. Don't waste your time. Thats two hours of your life you could spend punching puppies, which would be less cruel than making those puppies watch that schlock.
Oh yeah, and as far as I am concerned The Star Wars Prequels never occured, and as I recently found out Speilberg consulted heavily on the original three. You might say he himself ghost directed them. The prequels were Lucas in all his laughable glory. I mean he's got more money then God, so I can't berate him too mich, but money can't buy talent, only hire it.
Posted by: Darkness Eternal Aug 13 2013, 11:19 PM
Pretty much anything directed by Uwe Boll.
Bloodrayne, In the Name of the King, and Alone in the Dark are all Boll films. He's a terrible director/producer and almost all of his movies are so bad that you can get drunk and make fun of them all the way through.
Uwe Boll . . . that man is terrible. Terrible. Just terrible. Kristanna Loken was very good( and by good I mean hot) in Bloodrayne. The trailer for that movie, though, made it seem like it was some sort of vampire pornography.
Elysium. Terribly disappointing.
Oh yeah, and as far as I am concerned The Star Wars Prequels never occured, and as I recently found out Speilberg consulted heavily on the original three. You might say he himself ghost directed them. The prequels were Lucas in all his laughable glory. I mean he's got more money then God, so I can't berate him too mich, but money can't buy talent, only hire it.
Revenge of the Sith was the best prequel. Hands down. The novel itself? Amazing. Just amazing. The rest were meh.
Posted by: Grits Aug 14 2013, 04:20 AM
Elysium. Terribly disappointing.
I was looking forward to seeing it, too.
One thing was good. The special effects were gorgeous.
But the rest of the movie was a disaster. I was embarrassed for some of the actors and actually bored during the action scenes. The political message was so overt that it was off-putting. Even my socialist friends felt insulted. It should have been at least thought-provoking. It was not.
Posted by: ImperialSnob Aug 14 2013, 10:38 AM
The best things to come out of the prequals are Ewen McGregor shouting "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHOOSEN ONE!,YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO DEFEAT THE DARK SIDE,NOT EMBRACE IT." and the Pod Racing game.
Also never watch A Serbian Film
Posted by: mirocu Aug 14 2013, 10:47 AM
Oh yeah, and as far as I am concerned The Star Wars Prequels never occured
-shakes hand with Black Hand, finds out how funny that sounds, bursts into hysterical laughter-
Posted by: ThatSkyrimGuy Aug 14 2013, 03:17 PM
No one has said Sharknado ? Shocking...
Posted by: Acadian Aug 14 2013, 03:37 PM
No one has said Sharknado ? Shocking...
Sure, DE nominated that back in post #5.
Posted by: McBadgere Aug 14 2013, 03:45 PM
I successfully avoided almost all of Snowmageddon...I reccomend you manage 100% of the avoidance thing...
Posted by: ImperialSnob Aug 14 2013, 03:48 PM
No one has said Sharknado ? Shocking...
So you don't want people to watch a movie where sharks are in a tornado?
WHAT?!?!?
Posted by: King Of Beasts Aug 15 2013, 02:57 AM
No one has said Sharknado ? Shocking...
So you don't want people to watch a movie where sharks are in a tornado?
WHAT?!?!?
Sharknado is just...no
Another horrible movie is Metal Tornado.
Posted by: Kiln Aug 15 2013, 08:12 AM
Burn After Reading. I wish someone would have burned the script to this thing after they read it. I don't care what the critics say, this movie was a massive hunk of crap.
I rented it when it first came out several years ago and after watching it I took it back and was complaining to the owner (back before Redbox and Netflix shut down basically every actual video store within miles of here). She told me that so many people had complained about it that they were actually giving refunds to people who rented it and didn't like it.
It was one of those movies with plenty of acting talent that just wasn't utilized properly.
Posted by: ImperialSnob Aug 15 2013, 10:43 AM
No one has said Sharknado ? Shocking...
So you don't want people to watch a movie where sharks are in a tornado?
WHAT?!?!?
Sharknado is just...no
Another horrible movie is Metal Tornado.
It's a beautiful bit of B-Movie Brilliance.
Posted by: Black Hand Aug 15 2013, 01:37 PM
Burn After Reading. I wish someone would have burned the script to this thing after they read it. I don't care what the critics say, this movie was a massive hunk of crap.
I rented it when it first came out several years ago and after watching it I took it back and was complaining to the owner (back before Redbox and Netflix shut down basically every actual video store within miles of here). She told me that so many people had complained about it that they were actually giving refunds to people who rented it and didn't like it.
It was one of those movies with plenty of acting talent that just wasn't utilized properly.
I do know that of which you speak. The ending was so good though! In that, the nonsensical piece of farce was finally over!
Really was a terrible movie.
Posted by: King Of Beasts Aug 24 2013, 10:13 PM
Black Sheep
It's SUPPOSED to be a horror movie. Maybe it's scary to little kids, but it really sucks 
Posted by: ImperialSnob Aug 24 2013, 10:15 PM
Black Sheep
It's SUPPOSED to be a horror movie. Maybe it's scary to little kids, but it really sucks
It's a comedy-horror though.
Posted by: King Of Beasts Aug 24 2013, 10:15 PM
Black Sheep
It's SUPPOSED to be a horror movie. Maybe it's scary to little kids, but it really sucks
It's a comedy-horror though.
Either way, it's still sucks. I don't find it funny it scary.
Posted by: Cardboard Box Aug 25 2013, 04:28 AM
The Saw and Hostel franchises...
*twitch*
*looks at large 'Earth Destruction' button*
*twitch*
*twitch*
Someone, somewhere
*twitch*
is
*twitchtwitch*
masturbating
*twitchtwitchtwitch*
to this
*leaps for the button but the men in white coats grab him first*
Posted by: mirocu Jan 23 2014, 09:54 AM
Dunston checks in
Devil
Bridge to Terabithia
Any Power Rangers movie
Any Robin Williams movie
The Last Airbender
Master of Disguise
*shudders*
Posted by: ImperialSnob Jan 23 2014, 04:22 PM
Dunston checks in
Devil
Bridge to Terabithia
Any Power Rangers movie
Any Robin Williams movie
The Last Airbender
Master of Disguise
*shudders*
Posted by: mirocu Jan 23 2014, 04:27 PM
You agree or disagree?
Posted by: Callidus Thorn Jan 23 2014, 04:32 PM
Dunston checks in
Devil
Bridge to Terabithia
Any Power Rangers movie
Any Robin Williams movie
The Last Airbender
Master of Disguise
*shudders*
Any Robin Williams movie?
But Good Morning Vietnam is a great film
As for a film no-one should ever watch: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_Arthur_%28film%29
There is just so much wrong with that film
Posted by: ImperialSnob Jan 23 2014, 04:34 PM
You agree or disagree?
Robin Williams has been in plenty of great movies and BtT was a pretty good movie too.
Posted by: mirocu Jan 23 2014, 04:47 PM
Yeah, not all Williams films are bad tbh 
Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 23 2014, 07:19 PM
Paranormal Asylum. Maybe it'll scare small children, but if you're not a small child, it'll suck. Everything about it sucks.
Posted by: Kiln Jan 24 2014, 12:07 AM
Hobo with a Shotgun.
Absolutely the dumbest way to waste an hour of your life. The bad guys are so bad that they feel inclined to burn a bus full of kids with a flamethrower while laughing to prove how evil they are. The police are so corrupt that they just outright say that they're dirty and kill homeless people for fun and then look straight into the camera and straight out tell the viewers that they're dirty cops.
Just wow. My IQ dropped 30 points from watching it.
Posted by: ImperialSnob Jan 24 2014, 01:00 PM
Hobo with a Shotgun.
Absolutely the dumbest way to waste an hour of your life. The bad guys are so bad that they feel inclined to burn a bus full of kids with a flamethrower while laughing to prove how evil they are. The police are so corrupt that they just outright say that they're dirty and kill homeless people for fun and then look straight into the camera and straight out tell the viewers that they're dirty cops.
Just wow. My IQ dropped 30 points from watching it.
It's awesome, isn't it?
Posted by: mirocu Jan 24 2014, 05:36 PM
The old Turtles III with live actors can be added to this list imvvvvvho 
Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 25 2014, 09:05 PM
Scary Or Die.
It's sucks. That's all I have to say about it.
Posted by: Callidus Thorn Jan 25 2014, 11:23 PM
I can't believe I only just read Cardboard Box's post.
Hilarious 
On topic: Serenity.
Any fan of Firefly should not watch this film
I have
Posted by: PhonAntiPhon Jan 26 2014, 07:33 PM
On topic: Serenity.
Oh I don't know, I'm a big fan of Firefly and I really enjoyed Serenity...
Posted by: Callidus Thorn Jan 26 2014, 11:40 PM
On topic: Serenity.
Oh I don't know, I'm a big fan of Firefly and I really enjoyed Serenity...
It has too much "no there won't be another series of Firefly, now stop asking" feel to it. Between:
(Warning, MAJOR SPOILERS)
It seemed more a case of tying up loose ends and definitively ruling out the possibility of another series than making a film to follow the series. They could've done less and made a better film.
It wasn't a bad film per se, but it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Posted by: PhonAntiPhon Jan 27 2014, 11:45 AM
On topic: Serenity.
Oh I don't know, I'm a big fan of Firefly and I really enjoyed Serenity...
It has too much "no there won't be another series of Firefly, now stop asking" feel to it. Between:
(Warning, MAJOR SPOILERS)
It seemed more a case of tying up loose ends and definitively ruling out the possibility of another series than making a film to follow the series. They could've done less and made a better film.
It wasn't a bad film per se, but it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Oh I see what you mean.
Yeah there is that...
Posted by: Kiln Jan 31 2014, 09:53 PM
On topic: Serenity.
Oh I don't know, I'm a big fan of Firefly and I really enjoyed Serenity...
It has too much "no there won't be another series of Firefly, now stop asking" feel to it. Between:
(Warning, MAJOR SPOILERS)
It seemed more a case of tying up loose ends and definitively ruling out the possibility of another series than making a film to follow the series. They could've done less and made a better film.
It wasn't a bad film per se, but it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Right, but since the series was discontinued with no intention to resume, it only makes sense that the movie would try to tie up as many loose ends as possible. I was annoyed with a couple of their choices, like certain characters being gone, but I understand why.
Posted by: SubRosa Feb 1 2014, 12:35 AM
All's Faire In Love.
It only has one thing going for it. It was filmed at my local Ren Faire, and I was there at the time. So every time they show the faire itself I find myself going "OOHH! I know that shop!", or "I know that Ent!" or "The Living Statue Woman!", and "The Washing Wenches!".
The rest of the movie stinks.
Posted by: mirocu Feb 15 2014, 09:10 AM
Don´t know if they´ve been mentioned but no one should ever watch Lost in Space or the sequels to Jurassic Park
Posted by: ImperialSnob Feb 15 2014, 02:25 PM
Don´t know if they´ve been mentioned but no one should ever watch Lost in Space or the sequels to Jurassic Park
JP2 was alright.
Posted by: mirocu Feb 15 2014, 02:43 PM
Not compared to the first one, not by a long shot with a bribe on the side.
Posted by: Renee Gade IV Feb 15 2014, 03:59 PM
Aww I like all the Jurassic Park movies.
Here's my chime: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ishtar_(film) Easily the worst movie I have ever seen. Haven't heard of Isthar? There's a reason.
Posted by: Callidus Thorn Feb 15 2014, 07:42 PM
Don´t know if they´ve been mentioned but no one should ever watch Lost in Space or the sequels to Jurassic Park
I watched lost in space, it was alright, but not something I'd watch again.
I agree about the Jurassic Park sequels, though the first sequel would have been a lot better without the last half hour or so with the dino on the loose.
On topic: The second Dungeons and Dragons film. I saw it, and it was so [censored] I can't even remember what it was called.
Having looked online, I think it was Wrath of the Dragon God or something.All I really remember is how bad it was.
Posted by: Kiln Feb 15 2014, 09:42 PM
Don´t know if they´ve been mentioned but no one should ever watch Lost in Space or the sequels to Jurassic Park
I watched lost in space, it was alright, but not something I'd watch again.
I agree about the Jurassic Park sequels, though the first sequel would have been a lot better without the last half hour or so with the dino on the loose.
On topic: The second Dungeons and Dragons film. I saw it, and it was so [censored] I can't even remember what it was called.
Having looked online, I think it was Wrath of the Dragon God or something.All I really remember is how bad it was.
Watch "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale."
Probably among the top five worst movies I've ever seen.
Posted by: SubRosa Feb 15 2014, 10:18 PM
Watch "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale."
Probably among the top five worst movies I've ever seen.
I tried, but I just could not do it. Even Ron Perlman - whom I just adore - could not keep me going.
Posted by: Kiln Feb 15 2014, 11:37 PM
Watch "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale."
Probably among the top five worst movies I've ever seen.
I tried, but I just could not do it. Even Ron Perlman - whom I just adore - could not keep me going.
You have witnessed the directing power of Uwe Boll.
Posted by: ImperialSnob Feb 15 2014, 11:38 PM
Watch "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale."
Probably among the top five worst movies I've ever seen.
I tried, but I just could not do it. Even Ron Perlman - whom I just adore - could not keep me going.
You have witnessed the directing power of Uwe Boll.
House Of The Dead is a classic.
Posted by: mirocu Feb 25 2014, 10:24 AM
Cool as Ice
Posted by: ImperialSnob Feb 25 2014, 09:02 PM
Cool as Ice
Oh god why.
"The spatula on my hat agrees"
Posted by: mirocu Feb 25 2014, 09:04 PM
You´ve seen it, Impy?
Posted by: ImperialSnob Feb 26 2014, 12:46 AM
You´ve seen it, Impy?
I've seen the Nostalgia Critic review.
Posted by: King Of Beasts Mar 4 2014, 04:25 AM
Attack of the killer tomatoes.
-shudders-
Posted by: ImperialSnob Mar 4 2014, 09:05 AM
Attack of the killer tomatoes.
-shudders-
I'm starting to think no one here understands satire.
Posted by: ImperialSnob Mar 9 2014, 12:14 AM
Smiley, ok the killer's mask is ok.
But everything else in this movie sucks.
Here's some reasons why.
1.Shane Dawson can't act.
2.A killer based on an emoticon is stupid.
3."REFRENCES TO MAYMAYS AND DA 4CHANZ AND DIGG WE'RE SO INTERNET SAVY!"...also this came out in 2012 and they mention Digg and a chat roullete clon is a main plot point.
4.Typing "I did for the lulz" 3 times in "HideAndGoChat" to have a killer appear is dumb.
5.Dawson probably pulled strings to have a kissing scene with the hot lead.
6.Do they even know who Anon are?They don't kill people in massive pranks...oh yeah prank...oh my lord.
7.The ending, WHAT!?!?!?!?
There is multiple Smileys, INFACT IT WAS ONE MASSIVE PRANK!
There's so many reasons why this doesn't work.
First off it's dumb and predictable, also there's a scene where she meets Smiley on the webcam chat, in which the person you chat with is randomly choosen. This isn't magic, since it was all a prank.
It was pure luck.
The police don't take her seriously, they weren't in on the prank.
It was pure luck.
All of those people that died, in on the prank apparently.
And this whole prank was based just to kill the lead(why?I dunno, GUESS I GOTTA WATCH THE SEQUEL!).
Everyone, even the 1st victim who was clearly really killed and JUST FOUND OUT about Smiley is in on it.
ALSO DOUBLE TWIST, The main baddy jokingly says to the other baddy over chat "I did it for the lulz" x3 times...and it works...SMILEY IS ACTUALLY REAL!
AND TRIPLE TWIST, AFTER THE CREDITS THE LEAD(Who died from jumping out a window to escape the Smileys) GASPS!
OH S**T A SEQUEL THAT WON'T BE MADE BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN DEATH THREATS?
I'm so excited! /s
This movie boggles my mind, the 2nd lead who turns about to be a bad guy is used for 3 jump scares.
3.
The acutally Smiley is only used for one more than that, 4.
Also there is a jump scare less than a minute in, and an ass shot less than a minute in.
AND ALL OF THE JUMP SCARES ARE PAINFULY OBVIOUS!
If this post isn't understandable it's because I'm angry and confused.
Go watch Phealous' review on it.
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