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Chorrol.com _ Fan Fiction _ The Writers Guild: Order of the Schola

Posted by: Black Hand Sep 27 2006, 04:38 PM

For Centuries, we have weaved the magic of literature. The simple yet potent magic of the written word is our power, dusty old tomes that lie in wait in ancient libraries, to handbills that are passed around the marketplace, we preserve knowledge and memory of the peoples.

And now a new power has arisen, bards, scribes, authors are uniting, and it is here, within the Temple of Lore that they shall weave forth their stories that inspire, shock, and terrify.

Ok Folks, I had this thought. A new non-exclusive, non-elitist club of sorts, guild in this case, complete with ranks and a cool siggy 'privlege', I put that in quote marks because anyone can join for any reason, and call themselves any rank they want. The only thing I ask in return, is to sing for your supper. If you don't wish too however, that is fine.

Write a short poem, or a long story, It does'nt have to be TES-related per se, but I want to keep this within forum rules as much as possible, I realize that this is borderline RP forum, so please help me keep it Fan Fic related, I will post 'ranks' just as an incentive, something to make people go 'wow, cool' I am a Bard in the Order of the Schola! At the same time we have a new focal point for short stories.

Yes I know there are other threads that have this, but I start this in the same spirit that we open up new 'Coffee Shop' Threads, to keep it going.


Ranks, from greatest to least.

1. Editor-in-Chief
2. Author
3. Freelance Journalist
4. Old Man on a porch with a glass of lemonade
5. Storyteller
6. Storytime Teller
7. Bard
8. Writer
9. Scribe
10. Apprentice

P.S. Don PM me or anyone else asking of you can join, or if you can be a certain rank, the answer to all cases is "YES"!

Posted by: treydog Sep 27 2006, 06:36 PM

I think this is an excellent idea! We have talked for some time about our "Writer's Circle," here at Chorrol- what better way to symbolize it than with a guild? Count me in. (Of course, the fact that I have already posted 2 interminable stories makes it easy for me to be in favor!)

Posted by: jack cloudy Sep 27 2006, 08:40 PM

I'm so absolutely in! biggrin.gif I've got a couple of fanfics hanging around here as well as my ongoing work with original stuff which can be found at another site.

Note: I'm out of town for 8 days or so starting at friday next week. I'm already playing with the idea for a new series of stories that I might write. About a sort of secret agent in Tamriel. Ok, the Special Quest Agent (SQA) in service of Duke Dren. I think it could be funny. smile.gif

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Sep 27 2006, 10:38 PM

Sounds like something I would be interested in. I wouldn't mind showing some of my other stuff I've written on these forums, for example, I have this one poem that I'm particularly proud of. I think I've all ready posted it though on a thread in the General Discussion section. Ibis made that thread.

I do have other things though. So count me in on this. If I was old I would say I was the Old Man on the Porch with a Glass of Lemonade, but I think I'm leaning towards Author or Storyteller.

Of course, that could certainly be the ego talking there tongue.gif I think I've referred to myself as a Scribe on this forum before.

Posted by: Black Hand Sep 28 2006, 12:42 AM

Cool, we got three sign-ups already. Most of this is just formality as I said, anyone can join for any reason, though others are more inclined to symbolism than others (Us writers for example) if everyone wants to be Editor in Chief, everyone can be Editor in Chief, any 'rank' you want you can have, if you wish to 'earn' it in your own sense by each successive story you write, so be it. I just like the word 'Scribe' so I made that my 'Rank'...although I would be inclined to give Trey the rank of Editor in Chief due too what I feel is the sheer quality of his work, and the fact that he may be the one most responsible for inspiring most people to write in Fan Fiction.

I mean we're all supportive, nice people on this site, critisicm, constructive or otherwise, is rarely seen in Fan Fiction, even then its only given in extreme circumstances.

So yeah, put me down for an 'aye' in making Treydog Editor-in-Chief......

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Sep 28 2006, 12:51 AM

QUOTE
So yeah, put me down for an 'aye' in making Treydog Editor-in-Chief......


I second that motion.

PS- Would there be any formality to where we post our "other works" I guess we'll call them? Like would they go in this thread or possibly another that is called "Works of the Schola(rs?)"?

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Sep 28 2006, 12:52 AM

QUOTE
So yeah, put me down for an 'aye' in making Treydog Editor-in-Chief......


I second that motion.

PS- Would there be any formality to where we post our "other works" I guess we'll call them? Like would they go in this thread or possibly another that is called "Works of the Schola(rs?)"?

Edit- Shoot! Double posted due to modem problems, sorry!

Posted by: Black Hand Sep 28 2006, 02:24 AM

I was assuming this one, and calling it the Temple of Lore....but that is also a good suggestion....Hmm,, This one is turning into the discussion thread it would seem.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Sep 28 2006, 04:11 AM

The Temple of Lore sounds a bit cooler to me, we could use "Works of the Schola" as a subscript to the thread or whatever.

This one does seems more like a discussion thread, so I think it's best another thread for the written material be created.

May I ask if the founder of the Guild is writing the first piece of Lore for the Temple? I think that would be the best way to start this. That is, if you're comfortable with that.

Posted by: Black Hand Sep 28 2006, 06:34 AM

Aw Shucks, you're making me blush!

I'll see if I can't whip sumthin' out right quick!!

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Oct 3 2006, 10:03 PM

Just read your addition to the Temple, Jack, and I just got to say: "Wow!"

It definitely looked like you put a lot of work into that. I could literally feel the atmsophere of the piece, so lonely. I would have never thought I would have sympathy for an unsentient being, but you've made me feel that.

Excellent stuff! goodjob.gif

Posted by: Black Hand Oct 4 2006, 12:50 AM

Whoa-ho=ho. Both stories infinitely sad, and infinitestimaly true....

Good Work both of you,....now I need to come up with something.

Promotions all around!

Hey, (points at Jack Cloudy.) I did'nt get a 'harumph' outa that guy!

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Oct 4 2006, 01:40 AM

Woo! Promotion! *does a little jig*

Now how much money do I get? biggrin.gif

Posted by: Black Hand Oct 4 2006, 02:10 AM

Oh, um *rmmmPHHHhmmphh*, payable on *hrRRRmmPPHh*. No, No. No thanks needed, you earned it!

Posted by: minque Oct 4 2006, 03:33 AM

Great idea Blackie! Count me in!! I'm unable to write anything substantial at the moment but I will when I am home again.

And Treydog as editor in chief is a given thing!!! YAYYYY

Posted by: Black Hand Oct 4 2006, 03:57 PM

Nice Work Trey, I found it funny, and it should have been ingame too!

Minque, dont worry, there is no rush here. When you are ready, you are ready.

Dammit, and I still have to submit my work!

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Oct 4 2006, 09:58 PM

Haha, nice flyer Trey. I can picture many a suck-- erm, applicant being interested in taking up the "adventure". Just look at the ones that operated the Dwemer Airship tongue.gif

Posted by: deemu Oct 4 2006, 11:07 PM

great idea its perfect count me in

Posted by: canis216 Oct 10 2006, 04:25 AM

Now that I've posted a second story I suppose I ought to join.

I'm not sure about a rank... I rather like the idea of morphing my writing identity to serve my passions. I'll just be a 'writer'.

Postscript: Since my works tend to be short perhaps it would be best if I post them in the Temple instead of loose in the ether?

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Oct 10 2006, 07:47 PM

Yes, that would be the best thing to do, canis. Your short stories are really good and it would be really cool if you submit some more to the Temple.

Welcome to the Order biggrin.gif

Posted by: Black Hand Oct 11 2006, 01:22 AM

Ahhh, another sign-up. Yes Welcome Canis216, Welcome! I have just finished reading your stories, and I am pleased that you would see fit to join our humble Order.

I should post comments on your stories too, huh?

Sorry, I rarely do post in others stories, even though I do read nearly everything that pases through here, I realize that the posts can be a source of encouragement and drive for most if not all the writers.

Relax, I'm the same way, there is nothing wrong with a little vanity wink.gif

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Oct 17 2006, 09:06 PM

Just read your latest addition to the Temple, canis. I just have to say it is wonderfully written. I especially liked the little hint at your previous release you added. I'm really curious about what happened to the smugglers at that mansion. Hopefully I'll get to find out sometime.

Posted by: jack cloudy Oct 17 2006, 10:19 PM

Interesting with lots of blank spots that let our imagination run wild. I personally think that those smugglers won't leave the house. At least not with a beating heart.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Oct 23 2006, 12:00 AM

Read your addition to the Temple, Black. I thought it was funny, especially when describing the hero that infiltrated the base. Saying that he was a vigilante, and an ex-superhero and cop and such. Nice playing up on the stereotypes. I wouldn't mind being Pete in this case.

Posted by: canis216 Oct 24 2006, 01:25 AM

Heh. Good work with the stereotyping Black. Thoroughly amusing.

Posted by: Black Hand Oct 28 2006, 07:55 AM

Very Nice update Canis! I sense a series forming. Rethyas...Rethyas...where have I heard that name before?

Nice turnaround of making ones strength into ones weakness!

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Oct 28 2006, 02:44 PM

I, too, enjoyed your new update canis. We get a little bit of interesting intrigue with the Imperial and the Argonian (I have a feeling I know who that Imperial is wink.gif ).

The Arena fight was especially well written as well, with a thrilling finale. Keep up the good stuff!

Posted by: canis216 Oct 30 2006, 02:09 AM

I appreciate the kind remarks. I don't like to think of what I'm doing here as a series; it suggests a level of narrative continuity and purpose which I don't have time to fulfill. I think I'm using this character more as a (rough) probe into the dirty, risky, darkly humorous, tragic, and outright dangerous business of everyday life in Morrowind. If I tried to make this work a coherent series I'd take more time and create a (no doubt) richer narrative, but I wouldn't be able to let as many ideas flow out unspoiled by my often too-harsh internal critic's nitpicking.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Oct 30 2006, 04:27 AM

You got a crafty Argonian there, Canis. I can see why you enjoyed writing that one. It was excellent.

I like the different approach you're taking with writing your "story". It allows you to do different things with your writing yet it still has some sense of direction, at least I fell there's still a direction to it.

Your new update displays the fact you can switch things up if you wished. If I suddenly started writing 'Bloodlust' in first person, everyone would be wondering what the hell just happened. With yours, you can do that and no one is confused by it.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Nov 1 2006, 03:00 AM

Nice updates from both Black Hand and Canis. Enjoyed both of them, Black's particularly reminded me of "A Hypothetical Treachery". And canis's is solid as usual, now involving the Morag Tong into his "series".

Now, if only that water had been distilled water, then poor Redoran wouldn't have electricuted herself. As it's the minerals dissolved in water that conducts the electricity rather than the water itself.

CHEMISTRY! The more you know! :rainbow with a shooting star tailing it:

Posted by: minque Nov 1 2006, 10:37 PM

Great stories here! I enjoyed reading them very much...hmmm got to come up with one myself soon...... smile.gif

Posted by: Taillus Nov 1 2006, 11:52 PM

I would love to join this Writer's guild if you all would have me! It seems like an amazing idea and I would like nothing more than to be a part of it. I do not know what my rank would be... Maybe I will go low for now and build up over time.

Posted by: Black Hand Nov 2 2006, 01:25 AM

QUOTE
Ok Folks, I had this thought. A new non-exclusive, non-elitist club of sorts, guild in this case, complete with ranks and a cool siggy 'privlege', I put that in quote marks because anyone can join for any reason, and call themselves any rank they want.


Welcome Aboard!

Posted by: jack cloudy Nov 2 2006, 07:46 PM

Man, you've all been busy. I've got to get something short on the drawing board soon.
Hmmm..........*runs off, frantically scribbling down notes.*

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Nov 16 2006, 11:50 PM

Just read your first edition to The Temple, Taillus, and I just have to say it's quite good. Sometimes youths are just too ignorant tongue.gif

I was just wondering though. Since the kid is basically heir to the throne of Kvatch, wouldn't his father been able to release him from prison? Or was this gentleman's friends THAT high up?

Other than that, I really liked what ya started there.

Posted by: Taillus Nov 17 2006, 05:25 AM

Well Mallet, Papa Kvatch is a very proud man. Let us just leave things at that until I finish my story biggrin.gif

Posted by: Black Hand Nov 17 2006, 08:05 AM

OoooH! Assassin Stories!

I like Assassin stories!

Thusly I like Taillus Stories, but I would like them even if they werent about assassins, so well written!

Posted by: Kiln Nov 17 2006, 06:03 PM

I just read both Mallet's "A Vicious Haze" and Jack's "Left Behind and Forgotten" and I'm very impressed by these two stories, I haven't read any others as of yet but these two were simply amazing.

I wasn't sure where to comment but I guess this is the right place. Anyways great work guys.

Posted by: Black Hand Nov 19 2006, 04:08 PM

Ahh, the Argonian Assassin's tale continues, I am most satisfied. Well done, Canis!

Posted by: Black Hand Nov 23 2006, 02:40 AM

So you answered the question as to why Caius lives next door to the Tong traitor, and the Camonna Tong scum. Very creative, and a wonderful read.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Nov 23 2006, 03:12 AM

Hehe, I had to kill Balyn like that as well, but that was because I was foolish enough to walk out the front door instead of the trapdoor. D'Oh!

Excellent stuff Canis15, I love Always' "What are you going to do about it?" attitude!

Posted by: Black Hand Nov 26 2006, 07:44 AM

Oooh. Nicely Done Canis. I like the torture, well, only when the scumbags deserve it, that is. It's hard to draw the line, but Always knows where to draw it.

Posted by: canis216 Nov 26 2006, 07:45 AM

I'm thinking perhaps of collecting all my stories into a single thread, since they're all pretty closely related. I hesitate to call it a true serial, but it seems appropriate. I've got some other ideas for things I could place in the Temple. What do y'all think?

Posted by: Black Hand Nov 26 2006, 07:47 AM

Any and all stories are welcome [t]here! Besides, I have become quite the fan of your work.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Nov 26 2006, 09:12 PM

Your recent update was delicious canis! Though I'm not sure a taste description was probably suitable for describing how much a good read something is...

Posted by: canis216 Nov 26 2006, 10:58 PM

I appreciate the compliments, distinguished colleagues.

If anyone hasn't already noticed, I did go ahead and compile all of Always-He-Lingers-in-the-Sun's stories in one convenient thread, where I'll continue to make updates.

Posted by: Thoron the Hunter Dec 3 2006, 09:28 PM

im in once i figure out how to start new topics so i can post my fan fiction

Posted by: canis216 Dec 3 2006, 09:51 PM

The "New Topic" button is right next to the "Add Reply" button. But you can always post work in the http://chorrol.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=3497, if you're looking to start small. Welcome to the Order!

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Dec 3 2006, 11:17 PM

Haha! Excellent addition to the temple jack! I thought that was quite humourous. That computer would be my bestest buddy!

And I welcome Thoron to the temple as well!

Posted by: Agent Griff Dec 4 2006, 09:32 PM

Cool, a writer's guild! With my fan-fiction "The Adventures of Arthago" I think I'm able to join right? It's long enough in my oppinion, however far down the fan fiction pages it may be.

By the way, since this is my first post after a long, long, absence, I'd like to apologize to all the fine people here. I do have an excuse though! tongue.gif I've been working on an Oblivion mod project extra hard these weeks. Since I'm a writer, I have to write pretty much, and by the time I'm done writing I don't have any strength left to continue writing about Arthago. Still, I can pretty much guarantee that if this mod is released, I'll bet it will be the bookworm's favourite mod. Lots of long lore books to dig your scholar jaws in. Another things that has kept me occupied with the mod is that its leader recently abandoned ship, and I've become the mod's new leader. That takes extra time and devotion from me.

Anyway, perhaps I'll publish a few of my books here, so you can still enjoy some of my books, and I can advertise my mod at the same time. tongue.gif

Oh, for anyone who is interested in helping out you can check out this link. At the moment, we need guys who can work in the CS. We have enough books so writers aren't really a priority now. They aren't bad to have though, good writers especially.

Posted by: Black Hand Dec 5 2006, 01:24 AM

Welcome Aboard, Agent Griff. There is no exlcusions, even non-writers may join! This is non-elitist, and non-exclusive, it is too encourage the 'one-shot stories' from the writers here, that's all!


Posted by: Thoron the Hunter Dec 5 2006, 01:20 PM

QUOTE(canis216 @ Dec 3 2006, 09:51 PM) *

The "New Topic" button is right next to the "Add Reply" button. ,


Its coming up as an error ...and thanks for accepting me

Posted by: minque Dec 5 2006, 08:40 PM

QUOTE(Thoron the Hunter @ Dec 5 2006, 01:20 PM) *

QUOTE(canis216 @ Dec 3 2006, 09:51 PM) *

The "New Topic" button is right next to the "Add Reply" button. ,


Its coming up as an error ...and thanks for accepting me

Well I think there´s a rule that says you´ll have to make a certain amount of posts before you´re allowed to start a new topic! I might be wrong but I think it´s like that!

Posted by: jack cloudy Dec 5 2006, 09:11 PM

Really? I never noticed. I think my first post was a new topic. Ok, now why doesn't it work. Browser, internet filter? Mad Martian spaceflies? I'm confused. wacko.gif

Posted by: Agent Griff Dec 5 2006, 09:20 PM

A little mistake in my post, I forgot to actually put up a link to the mod.

Here!
http://thekingdom.elderscrollsfiles.com/

Another thing I seem to have missed was the new clash of the titans. Can I still join?

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Dec 5 2006, 09:39 PM

Yea, jack, the moderators decided to do that a few months ago when we got spammers posting "I'm interested in seeing people" ads on our site. So basically you have to get a few posts in before you can start you're own topic... though I'm not sure how many that would be.

I would PM Rane or Stargle to find out.

Posted by: jack cloudy Dec 5 2006, 11:07 PM

Ah, I remember those. Annoying and I seriously believe they were always the same person. I mean, exactly the same vocabulary and grammatical mistakes each time as well as the exact same sentences.

I'm sure it's not that much though. Twenty maybe? Fifty as an upper limit. Still, I can't be sure. Oh yeah, welcome back Griff.

Posted by: canis216 Dec 5 2006, 11:14 PM

It shouldn't take more than a few posts--I know I hadn't made more than 20 when I posted my first topic here.

So just post like crazy, Thoron. biggrin.gif (without spamming, of course)

By the way, the computer story was great, Jack.

Posted by: Thoron the Hunter Dec 5 2006, 11:43 PM

QUOTE(minque @ Dec 5 2006, 08:40 PM) *

QUOTE(Thoron the Hunter @ Dec 5 2006, 01:20 PM) *

QUOTE(canis216 @ Dec 3 2006, 09:51 PM) *

The "New Topic" button is right next to the "Add Reply" button. ,


Its coming up as an error ...and thanks for accepting me

Well I think there´s a rule that says you´ll have to make a certain amount of posts before you´re allowed to start a new topic! I might be wrong but I think it´s like that!


THANK YOU!!! It now works!

Posted by: Thoron the Hunter Dec 5 2006, 11:44 PM

sorry for this extra...i thought it didnt go through kvright.gif

Posted by: canis216 Dec 19 2006, 05:17 AM

Interesting twist at the end there, Mallet.

Posted by: Soulseeker3.0 Dec 19 2006, 05:22 AM

So i haven't really thought about this much, but i'm curious.... would I be accepted as a writer? biggrin.gif

Posted by: canis216 Dec 19 2006, 05:40 AM

Of course. We're open to everyone. You can even choose your own rank (check the beginning of the thread for those). I like to think of the order as our nice little highly democratic/vaguely anarchistic enclave within fan fiction.

Posted by: Black Hand Dec 21 2006, 05:50 AM

Oh Man, Mallet. That one song by Weird Al "The Night Santa Went Crazy" Wouldve been the perfect background to your story! Hehehe.

For the Umpteenth time....anyone can join for any reason and be any rank!!.....and if need be, Ill say it umpteen times more!!


Posted by: Sir Radont Dec 22 2006, 04:34 PM

This seems like a nice little guild, count me in. I have two Elder Scrolls Fanfictions in the chorrol fanfiction section and I have a Halo one that isn't finished yet floating around this forum.

I guess I'll just slap the rank of 'apprentice' on and go write some more. Actually, I'm going to go sleep, then I'll write some more.

Posted by: Soulseeker3.0 Dec 22 2006, 06:31 PM

QUOTE(Black Hand @ Dec 20 2006, 10:50 PM) *

For the Umpteenth time....anyone can join for any reason and be any rank!!.....and if need be, Ill say it umpteen times more!!

yeah i know. I was (more or less) goofin around.

Posted by: Black Hand Dec 22 2006, 07:39 PM

I know I know, was just kidding myself!

Posted by: jack cloudy Dec 25 2006, 10:22 PM

Funny, Mallet. Funny. I especially liked our angel.

,,I'm an angel, I don't kill! Well, except those."

Posted by: canis216 Dec 25 2006, 10:32 PM

Pretty cool addition to the Temple there, Jack. Strong spirit, that one has.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Dec 26 2006, 05:40 AM

For Jack:

Good little teaser you put there, I'm intrigued in seeing what you will do with that character in the future.

For canis:

Yea that piece definitely looked like a fun one to write. Excellent contribution, especially since you made it like a Skill Book at the end there. Cool stuff.

Posted by: canis216 Dec 28 2006, 04:29 AM

Well told, Black Hand. Well told. I don't think that the Emperor will be summoning Always-He-Lingers-in-the-Sun to kill netches... but then, there are only so many threats to the Empire to be found on Vvardenfell. But anyway, I loved how the nightblade approached this job exactly like a regular assassination. Great.

Posted by: Black Hand Dec 28 2006, 04:34 AM

TY, TY! My Intention was to throw the reader off as much as possible, while hinting with the 'apprentice in the fighters guild, spearman in the legion' comment...

It was inspired by that Imperial Legion Quest that I played through AFTER I was already Nerevarine....what a lowly job for the Savior of Vvardenfell....sheesh.

Posted by: canis216 Dec 28 2006, 04:40 AM

The legion is good, honest, simple work for the Savior of Morrowind. Why not? I'd want to avoid any more confrontation with gods after all that intrigue.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Dec 28 2006, 04:08 PM

Haha, that was a great addition Black. That got a chuckle out of me. I actually though the marks were those muggers by that one pond where you have to try to find a ring. So it was a pleasant surprise to find out that they were netches.

Great addition! goodjob.gif

Posted by: canis216 Dec 29 2006, 12:56 AM

This latest teaser is outstanding, Jack! What a fight!

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Dec 30 2006, 09:38 PM

These teasers of yours Jacky have me really looking forward to your next piece. I mean REALLY! tongue.gif

Looks like a lot of it could be focused on that sword you love so much tongue.gif

Posted by: Black Hand Dec 30 2006, 10:04 PM

With all these teasers Jack, you're practically writing the story beforehand.....or is this going to be your Epic Masterpiece?

Well the hype is certainly worth the wait and wondering.

And its working too....maybe I should cut back on Sethyas' updates....

Posted by: jack cloudy Dec 30 2006, 11:05 PM

I'm not sure if I'd call it an epic masterpiece. There's always room for bigger and better. biggrin.gif
I'm going to overhype this like a pro. Then you can all feel disappointed with the final result. tongue.gif
Expect the third teaser tomorrow.

I neglected commenting on the other additions.
Canis: I liked the whole description of how those Argonians were, what they believed in and all. Also, the end had a good oneliner like always.

Black Hand: You really had me fooled. I imagined some smuggler, bandit or even a pair of Daedric cultists. Anything but Netches. I have to agree though, after finishing the main quest you can get the feeling of: ,,Ok, you want me to go do this little errand for you. Hmm, from killing gods back to fetching little trinkets of no real value. Dang, my career is ruined."

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Jan 2 2007, 03:11 AM

Another excellent teaser Jacky! I'm sensing that the assassin won't be staying in prison for too long though. They seem quite talented, if a little cocky though.

And I'm very impressed with your little teaser as well canis. Your descriptions were very vivid and that memory with the girl in the t-shirt was quite interesting. I loved the nature feel to it.

Posted by: Zelda_Zealot Apr 4 2007, 12:37 AM

Hey, I just found this after it was suggested to me in one of my topics. I can still join right? If so, where would I post my works?

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Apr 4 2007, 04:06 AM

Sure, you can join! Everyone is welcomed, since it's basically a "enter if ya wanna kind of guild" which is nice.

Here's the link to the specific thread you'd be posting to.

http://chorrol.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=3497


Now you can even post non-TES related short stories there if you want. I think I got a poem up in there as well as a holiday script I wrote. Enjoy!

Posted by: Zelda_Zealot Apr 4 2007, 03:51 PM

Thanks, I will post one there soon. So I chose my own rank right?

EDIT: Just read through some of the stories there. I loved your Journal of a Dremora, Mallet! You need to make some more of those! biggrin.gif

Posted by: jack cloudy Apr 4 2007, 04:48 PM

And I can't wait to read them. biggrin.gif

It's also kinda funny that I forgot about the ranks. Time to correct this.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Apr 4 2007, 10:54 PM

Haha, great edition to the Temple, Zelda. I loved all the little cracks at some of the faults of the game (ie the repetitve sayings, people instantly fighting each other even if they hit each other accidentally, etc...)

Welcome to the guild! And I'll see if I can get out another Dremora Memoir soon; I still own my readers a Bloodlust update since I didn't have time last Saturday to write one.

Posted by: Zelda_Zealot Apr 5 2007, 01:51 AM

Thanks, as I said, it started out with me making fun of my character having the same name as a character in Morrowind, but it winded up being something much more. Tonight I plan on writing a bit of back story for my story Shiver, it may be up here tonight, it depends on how far I take it. I look forward to seeing your Memoirs soon. (Write faster Sera!)

EDIT: I finished and posted another, this one is a bit of backstory on a character whom we will be seeing later in Shiver. Speaking of which, I should go write some more for that...

Posted by: jack cloudy Apr 5 2007, 07:33 PM

Aye, I got the jokes. Very funny. tongue.gif

The second one I found to be a bit confusing to be honest. In the end, I'm still left wondering who this dealer of poetic justice is and who his victims are and what their crimes have been. (Murder, but murder of what or who?) But as you said, its background for Shiver, so I'm sure all will be revealed in due time.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Apr 5 2007, 10:06 PM

Yea I second Jack's thoughts about your second addition, Zelda, for the most part. It seemed you intentionally left the actions of this "couple" vague. I wonder if you did that to make it seem that "The Madman" might actually be mad and is imagining these atrocious things the couple are committing. Very eerie indeed, and certainly well written. I wouldn't mind a clearer explanation but if that ruins the effect you wanted to create I understand.

Posted by: Zelda_Zealot Apr 5 2007, 10:49 PM

I didn't tell you who they are, where they live, and what they have done for one simple reason. It does not matter, the story was entirely about The Madman and what he does. All that matters with the couple is that they did something very bad and paid for their crime.

Though I didn't have a chance to write anything to today (Chores and Gears of War with a friend), I should be writing tonight, and will either post more for Shiver, or another characters backstory. I plan on having most of my characters have a short story based on them out before they appear, and so far I have made my deadline.

Posted by: Shinnok Apr 6 2007, 01:48 AM

Hey, im new here and whenever I try to start a new topic it says I dont have permission to do it. Can you help me out.

Posted by: Zelda_Zealot Apr 6 2007, 04:38 AM

You have to post a few times before you are allowed to make a new topic. This way we don't have spam-bots flooding our forums with porn links (True story).

Just hang around the General Discussion area for a day or two, post in the Coffee Shop (You can talk about whatever you want to in there), or introduce yourself. Once you have posted a few times come on back and post your fictions (Which I assume was your plan as you posted your question in here), we look forward to reading them.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Apr 6 2007, 05:03 AM

Yep, Zelda explained it best. Welcome to the forums Shinnock. I would also suggest checking out the Oblivion threads because a lot of them are polls which are easy to reply to.

Posted by: Shinnok Apr 6 2007, 05:42 PM

OK, Thanks i've been trying to figure it out for days.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Apr 9 2007, 10:02 PM

Haha Jack, nice addition. I'm going go out on a limb here and guess that the influence is Sherlock Holmes Mysteries. The pipe totally gave it away, and the talking to himself part. tongue.gif

I really need to make another addition myself. It's been awile.

Posted by: jack cloudy Apr 9 2007, 10:06 PM

Ding! Correct, Sherlock Holmes it is. Hmm, maybe I should try to give Grey-Tongue a real mystery someday. He'll need a sidekick though. Hmm, Orcish healer?

And incase you're wondering. The Argonian's full name is Grey-Tongue. He uses sir Grey because it brings him more respect than sir Tongue.

Posted by: Zelda_Zealot Apr 10 2007, 03:56 PM

That was an amusing little story. biggrin.gif Your right, "Sir Tongue" just doesn't sound that respectful huh? Anyway, I look forward to read more of these soon. goodjob.gif

Posted by: jack cloudy Jun 12 2007, 06:55 PM

Oh, a pirate's tale? Sweetness, that's all I can use to describe it.

Oh, and I don't know any sea-talk either. Except that starboard is to the right, port is to the left, the bow is the front and the stern is the back.

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Jun 12 2007, 10:44 PM

Yea, it'll prove to be a bit of a challenge if I decide to make a full story about it. It'll definitely be a bit of a departure from what I've written so far. Plus, I haven't seen much of pirates in the fan fiction section so why not start up a new trend tongue.gif

But first I plan to write a sequel to Bloodlust, which will be much shorter. At least I hope so.... tongue.gif

Posted by: Agent Griff Jun 13 2007, 08:03 AM

I'm thinking of writing an extra story myself, but I'm not sure what enviroment to place it in. If any of you have played Star Wars KOTOR I want to make a story similar to it, something that explores the various philosophies of both the dark and the light and something which tells a tale of a dark fall and possible redemption.

Posted by: Lord Revan Jun 13 2007, 06:06 PM


Great game, but I lost interest over time. Sounds great, Agent Griff.

Posted by: Agent Griff Jun 13 2007, 07:39 PM

Well, I played it and it's been a thrilling experience. A great storyline which is truly epic with twists at all paces if you ask me. Great characters as well. The customisable end is also great and well thought.

I hope I will be able to find a proper universe in which to place the action. If not, as that guy on Brainiac used to say relating to almost anything, "Make your own!"

Posted by: Lord Revan Jun 13 2007, 08:03 PM


Hmm...... *wonders if he could help with that setting*

Posted by: The Metal Mallet Jun 15 2007, 01:32 AM

Sorry, I should note that I did read your latest little "Wings of Light" sampler. Definitely some good stuff ya got there, jack. That ending really drives in the emotion that this emotionless creature finally exudes. Looks like you're going to have lots of interesting angles to work with on this major project of yours.

Posted by: Agent Griff Jun 17 2007, 05:52 PM

Ok, I've decided what setting to use for this next fan-fic. I'll use the setting of the Mandalorian Wars and that of the Jedi Civil War featured in KOTOR itself. It won't have too many spoilers regarding the storyline of KOTOR since the two won't have much connections with each other.

Posted by: canis216 Mar 31 2008, 04:56 AM

God damn Black Hand, it's [censored]-ing brilliant. Gorgeous. Like... walking in a great forest of pines with rays of bright sunshine illuminating the darkness.

Posted by: Black Hand Mar 31 2008, 06:32 PM

That good, eh? Well, i was trying to sound Kirkbride-ian, and it does borrow a lot from the sermons.

Posted by: Black Hand Apr 1 2008, 07:48 PM

Nice letter there, Canis! Far more passionate than my latest submission. Does not passion, desire, and longing, have a way of masking the world?

Posted by: treydog Apr 1 2008, 09:14 PM

That is some excellent work, Canis. You just have this...voice...that goes beyond style. Pure poetic genius. I tip my doggie ears to you.

Posted by: jack cloudy Apr 1 2008, 09:47 PM

Black Hand, that does indeed sound a lot like the sermons. Same strange expressions and all. Really neat. That assassin must have put a lot of thought into his words. Odd phrases like that don't just come from nowhere.

Canis, I don't really know what was going on, but I liked it all the same. As Treydog said, it was poetic.
So um, is the woman our guy speaks of dead or something? It sounds like he's lost in memories and all.

Posted by: canis216 Apr 1 2008, 10:01 PM

No, definitely not dead. It's really about jumping from memory and reverie to action. Memory is wonderful, but hollow if it becomes only a memory. I struggle with this.

And thanks for the praise, gents. "Pure poetic genius," is high praise indeed, as I feel like I've always struggled while trying to write poems. Poetic prose... I guess I can do.

Posted by: seerauna Jul 25 2008, 04:35 AM

Okay, I just found this when I was searching the forums for something to read. I would definitly be interested in joining. I think I'd just be an apprentice for now, but anyways Black this was a really good idea.

Posted by: Black Hand Jul 25 2008, 09:39 PM

Hmm. Most of the Members Submissions have waned quite a bit over the last couple of years. But if you want to see it revived, I'll match you entry for entry.

Posted by: Black Hand Sep 28 2008, 07:34 PM

Canis, sounds like quite an experience you had there~! If one truly loves the outdoors. I guess you have to love everything about it!

Posted by: treydog Sep 29 2008, 03:51 PM

Canis, you again please and amaze with your gift for description. The thing is, you show rather than tell. As I lost myself in the narrative, I was on that mountain with you, feeling the bite and pull of the saw, the hard splat of the cold rain.... A beautiful moment, beautifully revealed.

Posted by: canis216 Oct 4 2008, 12:31 AM

QUOTE(treydog @ Sep 29 2008, 08:51 AM) *

Canis, you again please and amaze with your gift for description. The thing is, you show rather than tell. As I lost myself in the narrative, I was on that mountain with you, feeling the bite and pull of the saw, the hard splat of the cold rain.... A beautiful moment, beautifully revealed.


Thank you very much, treydog. A high compliment from a gifted writer.

Lo, but I love those mountains. All desert mountains really, but especially those. A different world.

Posted by: Black Hand Oct 5 2008, 05:52 PM

Nature lover describes,
Story lover listens,
Loving descriptions of nature.

Maybe not quite a haiku....

Posted by: canis216 Dec 26 2008, 08:53 PM

Pre-emptive explication for my Temple post today:

The http://puebloindians.aaanativearts.com/zia_pueblo.htm have nothing to do with established TES lore on Yokuda. Rather, they are a Pueblo community in the American Southwest. The little poem is an actual Zia lament, which I have quoted word-for-word from Edward Abbey's fine book, Desert Solitaire. Another of my big influences.

Posted by: darkynd Dec 28 2008, 05:17 AM

Hm, is it okay for me to post here, as I am not technically a member of this fine Order? Only I do want to comment on canis' little ditty. biggrin.gif

Anyways, that was quite the teaser, wasn't it? Without doubt it piqued my interest in this trapped fellow, accomplishing its intended objective with much gusto. If I could suggest anything (which is rather difficult, since this is already a more than competent bit) it might be to emphasize the window even further as a symbol for this trapped soul's salvation. It is an apt icon, and I think you could get even more use out of it, if you wanted to. My thoughts only, however, I don't want to impinge on your creation.

One thing further, the penultimate line:

QUOTE("canis216")
Here on the coast the wind is still warm—I feel it sometimes through my window, and it is then that I cannot see but can feel Sun’s Height and sex in the sand.


I hesitate to call that crass - because it really isn't - but to my mind it detracts somewhat from the otherwise poetic prose feel that you seem to be striving for. :Shrugs:

Penny for your thoughts?

Posted by: canis216 Dec 28 2008, 05:49 AM

That line is a bit tricky. Probably try to find a way to rephrase it. But the finished piece is going to be, after all, a love story.

There will almost certainly be more on the window in the end game. This character's stint in the tower is going to be more than a single short letter, I think. Actually, I have little idea how long the whole work is going to be, aside from pretty long. Maybe not Trey long, but considering that I don't have a game plot to riff off of, I think this will go a long ways.

And you are absolutely welcome to post here. And in the Temple of Lore, too, if you have any little bits that don't fit elsewhere. I think I've posted the last 5 in a row there. I think the Temple of Lore is great and should have more action. One more thing: join the Order! Just give yourself a title! It's great. In fact, I think I'll change my rank to "Bard" right now.

Posted by: redsrock Dec 28 2008, 07:30 AM

I'm somewhat confused. Is this for TES stuff only? I ask because I've been working on magic concept for Avlarians, a race in my world of Teir.

Posted by: darkynd Dec 28 2008, 07:38 AM

QUOTE(canis216 @ Dec 27 2008, 08:49 PM) *

That line is a bit tricky. Probably try to find a way to rephrase it. But the finished piece is going to be, after all, a love story.


For exactitude, I didn't mean you shouldn't include the content of the phrase, just rephrase it like you said you will. I think the attitude of that bit fits perfectly, just the delivery needed some work - which you clearly saw.

And I shall join, actually, thanks for the invitation! I bequeath unto myself the rank of Storyteller!

Posted by: canis216 Dec 28 2008, 07:42 AM

QUOTE(redsrock @ Dec 27 2008, 11:30 PM) *

I'm somewhat confused. Is this for TES stuff only? I ask because I've been working on magic concept for Avlarians, a race in my world of Teir.


It's not TES exclusive. It's for short work--little bits of storytelling, I suppose. Make of it what you will. I've put nonfiction in here, but I think it works because I'm still telling a sort of story, weaving a world in words. But make of it what you will.

Posted by: canis216 Dec 28 2008, 07:51 AM

Woo... fun stuff there, darkynd. Consistently amusing. I would quibble with word choice and typos (?) here and there, but I love how it all flows together. Did you ever study psychology? You've got me curious now.

Posted by: darkynd Dec 28 2008, 08:01 AM

QUOTE(canis216 @ Dec 27 2008, 10:51 PM) *

Woo... fun stuff there, darkynd. Consistently amusing. I would quibble with word choice and typos (?) here and there, but I love how it all flows together. Did you ever study psychology? You've got me curious now.


Yes, there were instances where I debated over what word to use, and ended up going with maybe one over the other, but generally I was trying for the feel of this strange observer slowly lowering his own facade of professionalism to reveal...sort of a monster, I guess. I imagine the narrator as a undergrad student getting more and more comfortable with his subject, hehe.

As for the typos, there are almost certainly a lot. Some were intentional. I wanted it to feel like thoughts, so it would have to be a bit more herky-jerky but also occasionally run on incessantly.

Enough justification though, there are plenty of instances where argument is warranted.

And, for the record, no, I have never taken psychology. Still waiting to graduate and get to college so I can look into that.

Posted by: minque Mar 27 2009, 09:24 PM

Blackie, your last work shows you're really talented, it's a sheer pleasure to read whatever you put down on paper or a pc..

Continue to share , please do, I just love your writing!

goodjob.gif

Posted by: Illydoor Mar 27 2009, 10:55 PM

Hey can anyone post something on the writer's guild? It's fine if you can't I was just wondering if you have to ask to join or something. biggrin.gif

Posted by: canis216 Mar 28 2009, 02:39 AM

QUOTE(Illydoor @ Mar 27 2009, 02:55 PM) *

Hey can anyone post something on the writer's guild? It's fine if you can't I was just wondering if you have to ask to join or something. biggrin.gif


You are free to join and post at your own discretion, Illydoor, though if you want to consider this post a formal "invitation", by all means do so. smile.gif

Posted by: redsrock Mar 28 2009, 03:28 AM

Here's an old piece of mine, something I had once submitted to TR long ago. It's not much and it's very short, but I'm quite partial to the story for some reason. *shrug*

Also, I just realized that I dip into past tense during the last few paragraphs. I know that's usually bad, but I think it works in this story. Please tell me if I'm right.

A Flower's Reflection


As I sat there under the shade of the flower tree, a flower petal falls and lands in the middle of my opened book. It just now occurs to me that I have not done such a thing in quite some time. The petals on the flower, all of them still intact, remind me of the great agony I’ve had to endure over the past ten or so years. It’s something I that don’t like to talk about, yet now here I am, unable to think of anything but those pains that will never truly leave.

Ever since that fateful day with the Fall of the final Dagger, I’ve left the place I once called home in search of a new land, searching for a conclusion to the severing pain that has tortured my soul the second King Gothryd claimed victory-- crowned right on the battlefield after his father had been slain by one of our archers-- over my brethren and I at Cryngaine Field. I had been there when the foggy mist had wrapped around our entire Sentinel army, and I had been still standing once the mist cleared and the duel between the two kings was about to take place. Thanks to the cowardly back-stabbing of the newly-declared King, our great Camaron was slain before the duel ever started. After the battle I left Sentinel without any belongings but a blade and the book I was reading just a few seconds ago. The pain of defeat had been too much for me, and I simply could not stay.

I’ve been through the most dangerous of mountains and I’ve trekked across the wildest of rivers, to at last find my place in a city by the name of Elinhir. Here I’ve found that solitude that I have been so desperately seeking. Through the Falls of Karnver, to the plains of southern Stonedale, and finally at the cool grasslands of Elinhir, I’ve at last arrived at the place that I can call home. A few of the people here thus far have been rather warming, requesting that I eat dinner in their houses and tell stories to their children. Yes, some have treated me with utmost respect, but yet I can sense something else as well from most of the others. It is contempt, a disapproval of my falling out with the Sentinel Army. I can’t say that I blame them, for they can very well call me a coward and there is nothing I can do about it. I did indeed leave the brethren I had fought with and survived with. But…I left because of the brethren had seen fall that disastrous day.

These people of Elinhir, they do not know what it was like as a soldier, at least not one o the mighty Sentinel. They did not see the countless number of bodies fall to the ground, most of them having died before hitting the ground, but the unlucky having suffered before their pains were eternally extinguished. They cannot possibly know what it was like, yet they still judge me as if they’ve always known me. How can this be? How can I be treated so unfairly when I fought so passionately to preserve what I once adored? But…Sentinel is no longer my home, so perhaps I should ignore these people that are trying to bring me down. Though such a sad thought depresses me, it must be true. For my old friends have yet to call upon me, asking me to come home. It is quite possible that these friends decided upon leaving Sentinel, just as I did. Perhaps the pain was too much to bear, just as it had been for me.

Rain is starting to pour down from the skies, but not nearly enough to for me to care. A soldier of Elinhir walks from the city gates, holding his long spear with the tightest of grips. I can tell he wishes not to speak with me, but for some odd reason he does.

“Sir, it is beginning to rain. I think it would be best for you to come inside our city. The walls of the tavern can protect you.”

I did not answer immediately. Rather, I closed the book, with the petal still inside, and then spotted a long and wide piece of wood that had somehow chipped off of the tree. I placed the book on top of the wood and then set the wood into the slender river to my immediate right. I watched it drift along the stream for almost a full minute, and then the soldier asked, “Is everything alright, sir?”

I looked back at him, his young face staring at me with sheer perplexity. And then I answered his question, with the gentlest tone I think he’s ever heard outside of his mother. “Today, tears fall faster than rain.”

Posted by: Illydoor Mar 29 2009, 02:41 PM

Thanks Redsrock, I'm happy to be a humble apprentice of this Order. closedeyes.gif

So where would one post their little parables and yarns and whatnot? Is it on this thread or the other one?

Posted by: minque Mar 29 2009, 03:09 PM

QUOTE(Illydoor @ Mar 29 2009, 03:41 PM) *

Thanks Redsrock, I'm happy to be a humble apprentice of this Order. closedeyes.gif

So where would one post their little parables and yarns and whatnot? Is it on this thread or the other one?


You're welcome to post http://chorrol.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=3497

Posted by: redsrock Mar 29 2009, 03:36 PM

QUOTE(Illydoor @ Mar 29 2009, 09:41 AM) *

Thanks Redsrock, I'm happy to be a humble apprentice of this Order. closedeyes.gif


Huh?

Also, @ Canis or Minque or whoever: Was I not supposed to post in this thread?

Posted by: minque Mar 29 2009, 04:27 PM

QUOTE(redsrock @ Mar 29 2009, 04:36 PM) *

QUOTE(Illydoor @ Mar 29 2009, 09:41 AM) *

Thanks Redsrock, I'm happy to be a humble apprentice of this Order. closedeyes.gif


Huh?

Also, @ Canis or Minque or whoever: Was I not supposed to post in this thread?


Ehh nope, not really, we have a special thread for the works of the Schola! Follow the link in my previous post! wink.gif

I'll move your work, don't worry....

Posted by: redsrock Mar 29 2009, 04:34 PM

Sowwy. sad.gif

Posted by: Illydoor Mar 29 2009, 07:40 PM

Sorry Redsrock, I meant to say that to Canis. laugh.gif

Posted by: redsrock Mar 29 2009, 07:46 PM

That's what I thought. I just wasn't sure. tongue.gif

Posted by: treydog Nov 3 2010, 04:54 PM

Canis216-

Your latest offering is certainly pleasing to me- and I imagine the good of writers will find it so, as well.

You provide enough detail to allow the reader to visualize and otherwise sense what the protagonist senses. But you also leave enough unspoken to keep us interested.

A touch I particularly liked was the idea of that the hunter could not take game he had not prayed for. He apparently asked Hircine's aid in hunting a bear- therefore venison was not on the menu.

Wonderful.

Posted by: mALX Nov 3 2010, 05:05 PM

QUOTE(treydog @ Nov 3 2010, 11:54 AM) *

Canis216-

Your latest offering is certainly pleasing to me- and I imagine the good of writers will find it so, as well.

You provide enough detail to allow the reader to visualize and otherwise sense what the protagonist senses. But you also leave enough unspoken to keep us interested.

A touch I particularly liked was the idea of that the hunter could not take game he had not prayed for. He apparently asked Hircine's aid in hunting a bear- therefore venison was not on the menu.

Wonderful.



Oops, were we supposed to comment on here? I put it on the thread! ARGH!

@ Canis216 - your addition to that thread was breathtaking in descriptive detail, and thank you for the necromancy you performed on the thread, look what all we may have missed (us noobs to this site) (me).

Posted by: Destri Melarg Nov 5 2010, 11:00 AM

QUOTE(mALX @ Nov 3 2010, 09:05 AM) *

@ Canis216 - your addition to that thread was breathtaking in descriptive detail, and thank you for the necromancy you performed on the thread, look what all we may have missed (us noobs to this site) (me).

And me. Thanks for reviving this, canis (and happy belated, btw). I really liked your story and I am glad to see you return to writing. Three details really stood out:

-The fact that the man (as opposed to the mer, or the ‘beast race’) was able to discern the bear’s length of stride by studying the trail.
-The scraping that drew our attention to the aspens, and the reason that they made the man nervous.
-The approach that the man made from downwind, which enabled him to smell the bear before he saw him.

My only concern is that I think you may have lost a zero in your description of the bear. A two hundred pound bear wouldn’t be much bigger than the man, in my opinion.

Posted by: canis216 Nov 5 2010, 02:05 PM

It's actually fairly average size for an American black bear, though I probably should have made it a bit bigger, since this is supposed to be a "big black bear".

Posted by: mALX Nov 5 2010, 02:09 PM

QUOTE(Destri Melarg @ Nov 5 2010, 06:00 AM) *


My only concern is that I think you may have lost a zero in your description of the bear. A two hundred pound bear wouldn’t be much bigger than the man, in my opinion.



Not necessarily.

Female Black bears don't weigh much more than humans, male Black bears run between 125-500 pounds.

We have only Black bear where I live, and they can look little and cute on all fours, then they stand up and start roaring and they are deadly. Their mass is lean muscle, solid bones, and thick fur that protects them from injury. Their claws and teeth (and jaw pressure) are as lethal as any weapon. They may sound little, but people are killed by these Black bears in the Smokey Mountains all the time.


The Grizzly are larger, females run 250 to 350 pounds, Polar bears are the largest.

A 2000 pound bear would be a rarity. The largest individual bear recorded was about 2200 pounds, but it was a male Polar bear, they usually average 800-1600.


Posted by: haute ecole rider Nov 5 2010, 02:48 PM

And we all must remember that all bears have very thick pelts, which make them look much, much larger than they really are.

Next time you see a Old English Sheepdog, put your hands on its body to see where the hair ends and the body begins. They're really built more like wolfhounds than like Rottweilers!

Posted by: Zalphon Nov 6 2010, 05:01 AM

May I join?

Posted by: treydog Nov 6 2010, 12:40 PM

Short answer- "Yes, of course."

Longer answer- see the first post in this thread. The idea is that the other thread http://chorrol.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=3497 is used to post the work, and this thread is used to respond. That way, comments and creativity are kept separate.

It can be useful for fragments of stories you are thinking of writing, poems, stories that are complete within a single post or a few posts, even stories that are not necessarily TES or fan-fiction- or fiction at all.

Posted by: Acadian Nov 13 2010, 12:33 AM

I just read Destri's first part of his short story of murder in the Imperial City. How wonderful! It was just like walking around in the game, Oblivion, and just as much fun!

I would leave a more detailed comment, which the story richly deserves, but. . .

. . . I must say, I rather dislike this format of posting unrelated stories all clumped together on one thread, then hopping over to, and commenting on, an entirely different thread. In my opinion it discourages comments, especially detailed ones. I realize it is designed for one post entries and I suppose that minimizes the problem somewhat. I would submit for any story longer than one post, the break in continuity would be quite disruptive. Just my two septims. tongue.gif

Posted by: SubRosa Nov 13 2010, 12:57 AM

Is it just me who looks at the other topic and thinks "The Temple of Love"?

I am of the same mind with Acadian on the mechanics of posting a story in one topic and comments in another. It would seem to me that just making one topic for a story and all its comments - even if it is just a single piece of 500 words - would be much more accessible.

That said, this is a comment on Destri's first part:

Excellent first paragraph. I love how you showed us that Quintilius is not only a Watch Captain, but a brand-spanking new one at that. All without telling any of it to us! New writers, take note, this is how to do it!

Ridiculous, he thought, a murder in a mausoleum!
Indeed, one would think it would be too late to murder the denizen of such a place... biggrin.gif

Blood pooled in copious amounts around each
Copious amounts? enough for a copious coinpurse perhaps? wink.gif

the guard looked as nervous as a rat sneaking around in Goblin Jim’s Cave
A wonderful setting-friendly phrase!

Perhaps this one will prove a better exercise of my intellect.
Quintilius seems like a bright one. But not bright enough to avoid being a complete boatmaster. Apparently while he was sharpening his intellect he forgot to sharpen his personality. That is not a criticism on your writing. My impression is that you are channeling Sherlock Holmes in your writing of Quintilius. Which is to say, he is meant to be an boatmaster. A good example that not all protagonists have to be likeable, for just as in real life, many people are not. biggrin.gif

Posted by: saqin Nov 13 2010, 02:05 PM

I want to join in, just finished a very short story and I think that could be a good debute within the order.

Posted by: mALX Nov 13 2010, 06:28 PM

I don't like going to a seperate page to comment, can't quote things running back and forth! Oh Destri - I love this already !!! Two quests in one, the personality you have bestowed on Quintilius - Sage Rosa already got my fave line :

"the guard looked as nervous as a rat sneaking around in Goblin Jim’s Cave"


More More !!!!



@ Saqin - The minute I heard the name of the country, somewhere in the back of my mind I heard..."Uh oh!" ROFL !!! Great Write!!



*

Posted by: SubRosa Nov 13 2010, 11:07 PM

I just finished Saqin's piece. I loved the dark, desperate tone it has, with the protagonist fleeing an uncertain doom only to meet an even more certain one! My only nit is that it feels a little awkward calling him "the man" for the entire piece. Giving him a name would humanize him more, and I think make the ending have more impact.

Posted by: Destri Melarg Nov 13 2010, 11:30 PM

I just finished saqin's piece as well. You really do have a thing about naming characters, 'Rosa. I didn't even notice that he was unnamed until you brought it up.

I love the name Rigor Mortis. It evokes such a sense of despair to the whole atmosphere of the story. Well done.

Posted by: treydog Nov 15 2010, 11:41 PM

Destri's Clean-Up Detail:

QUOTE
A murder, Quintilius thought to himself, excellent!

Wonderful irony there.

Your usual deft descriptions are used to great advantage throughout the story. And we learn a great deal about the new captain based on his dialogue and internal monologues. The inconsistencies and oddities of the game world also come in for some attention- torches inside a mausoleum- clothing in random crates… And “mausoleum” itself is a bit of a misfit- after all, it comes from the real world tomb of Mausalos at Halicarnassus…

QUOTE
Two Nords barged into the Trentius Family Mausoleum on some Arkay-forsaken errand and decided to stop and produce a book because there happened to be ample reading light? However, that is beside the point. My question wasn’t ‘who is the owner of this book,’ it was ‘who was this book left for?’”

Oh the contempt just drips from those words!

Just love your supercilious Captain Quintilius, as he follows the trail of some unknown murderer through the City.

Saqin's Story:

QUOTE
But he had slept many miles away from the roads, and no one with good intentions travelled the cursed forest at night.

There is a wealth of information in that sentence.

You have woven a wonderfully dark and eerie picture here. I look forward to seeing more.

Posted by: mALX Nov 17 2010, 01:07 AM

Great follow-up chapter Saqin!

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