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Chorrol.com _ Fan Fiction _ Light through Darkness

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Dec 23 2010, 09:45 PM

It's getting close to Christmas, and I'll be away on Holiday to New York for a few days, so I decided to post this now so that you know I am at work. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Black and White


The suffocating darkness was broken only by the soft blue glows of unnaturally luminescent crystals. The high vaulted ceilings may have leant a feeling of grandeur before, but now felt strangely claustrophobic, as if the walls would close in and crush you at any moment. I was gliding softly through the blackness, guided only by the winking blue lights, following them through what seemed a maze of corridors and passageways.

Suddenly, the walls opened, and in front of me stood a grand chamber, it would have been spectacular had it not been so sinister. The entire chamber was bathed in red light, and strange, black figures were moving about, neither knowing nor caring where their feet carried them. In the center stood a high raised platform, and there another figure stood, emblazoned in armor that seemed sucked the light in from around him, and I was moving towards him. Try as I might, I could not fight the savage need to know whom this man was. I wanted to cry out, scream for help, but my tongue had become iron.

Closer…closer…ever closer I inched, feeling the icy metal flood to my limbs. The figure turned to face me, his eyes glowed a fiery red…



----



Ice cold sweat drenched my face as my head soared from my pillow, my breathing shallow and ragged. Feeling something in my hand, I looked down to see my steel dagger in my hand… how did it get there? Did I pull it out of my pack in my slumber?

I dropped the dagger to the floor, returning my head to the pillow. All a dream, I thought, just a dream, another dream. Calm down Derelas, it’s nothing to worry about. Old news.


----


The Imperial City was only half a day’s journey from Wawnet Inn, as the publican told me over breakfast. Just follow the high street out of town to the Great West Bridge over Lake Rumare, and follow the road from there straight to the gates. It was a lovely clear day outside, and the bridge was not hard to find when I left, the white marble spires framing the road practically burned new holes in my eyes.

The morning bustle was only just beginning as I made my way forth. A balding fisherman was making his way home with his morning catch of some of the biggest Slaughterfish I’ve ever seen. Many of the travelers who slept the night here were gathering their horses and pack mules to continue on to wherever it was they were going. Many others still were filing into the small stores nearby. It was a simple, yet elegant, vista of pastoral harmony.

Forcing my eyes away from the scene, I directed my feet toward the Great Blinding Bridge and made a silent note to thank Y’ffre if I could still see after crossing.

The bridge led to a switchback road up the steep incline of the Imperial Isle, many rocks blocking my view of the city proper. It was just after midday when I finally crested the hill. I was greeted with… more whitewashed walls. It might have been an awe-inspiring sight had I been able to see anything at all, but I ended up having to walk the whole rest of the way with my arm up shielding my eyes because of how brightly polished the marble was. I know this city is supposed to be the shining beacon of the Empire and all, but wow... you think you might be taking this a bit too far? I was quite thankful to finally reach the gates proper, just to be able to see again.

Once I closed distance with the walls, though, the blinding marble gave way to gray granite. Still not to be outdone, the stone was impeccably carved and rose into an imposing Gothic archway housing a raised portcullis and a well-polished bronze gate flanked by two men in flashy steel armor, flaming red feather plumes rising from their helmets… Imperial Legion Centurions.

“Welcome to Cyrodiil City.” One of them voiced to me. They then marched in unison to the great bronze doors and threw them open with an impressive flourish. “Enjoy your stay, citizen.”

I passed through the gates to a scene unlike I’d ever seen before. Instead of the peaceful maritime bustle of Weye, here it was an outright cacophony of voices, footsteps, shrieks, and hoof beats as people large and small jostled this way and that about their daily lives. The huge crowd, from the super-rich in fine linens to the street urchins with no more than stained sack cloth, pattered every which way you could think of past white marble buildings so tall they seemed to wall away the sky. Such a dizzying sight made me begin to wonder if I could ever find the Arcane at all, so I ducked into a shaded back street to pull out my map.

“Looking for something, citizen?” A passing legionary inquired.

“Yes, I’m looking for the Arcane University.” I responded, hoping this guy might be able to make some sense out of this madhouse.

“You’re in Talos Plaza," the legionary told me, indicating a gold sign nearby:

“Talos Plaza. IMPERIVM AD VITAM AETERNAM”

“Just follow Septim Way through Talos Plaza, take a right on Green Emperor Way, follow it around until you reach Stendarr Loop, and it will take you straight to the University.”

Follow who-da, take a right on what-da until I reach where-da? Thankfully, the guard noticed my blank look and handed me a new map, this time of the city itself, and noted everything he told me on it.

“Thanks.”

“We’re here to serve.” The guard brought two fingers to his helmet in salute before clanking away. I started to wonder why guards weren’t this helpful all the time, given my experience at the customs office on my way in from Valenwood, but soon did a double take. This was the Imperial City, after all. The Empire does have an image to maintain.

It took another hour just to find Green Emperor Way. I got lost twice in the crowds and at one point found myself filing my way down Septim Ave. rather than Septim Way, causing me to mumble curses under my breath for the Empire’s shameless lack of originality as I turned back. I eventually fought my way through the chaos of Talos Plaza, and the astounding noise of the crowd died instantly as I crossed the threshold of Green Emperor Way, giving way to a subdued, formal silence, and I felt a strange, liquid-like sensation pass over my skin, probably a spell to help keep the noise out.

“Please show your respect for the Imperial Palace by keeping your voice down.” A guard in blazing white armor decorated with dragons told me as I entered, and I joined the now near-silent crowd making their way along the road. Most of the time my view of White Gold Tower was blocked by the many high-rising buildings, mostly fine hotels and apartments for the city’s wealthiest citizens surrounding the Palace Road, but every so often I would pass a colossal iron gate barring the way to the Palace proper, and was able to steal a glance of the immense structure beyond the veil. It seemed to rise forever towards the heavens, perhaps ascending to touch the face of Aetherius itself, the marble walls were so well polished and maintained it was no wonder I was blinded on my way in, and almost completely blocked by the rest of the city, I could make out the royal graves. Such a sight, already breathtaking from here, must inspire awe when seen from outside the walls; a way of saying: “We are the most powerful society in this land today. To challenge us is to challenge the will of the Nine themselves.”

I felt myself smiling faintly as I turned onto Stendarr Loop.


----


Two shrouded figures crested a flight of stairs bathed in crimson light, where another shadowy figure sat upon a throne of black stone signaled them halt. They obeyed, and then sunk into a low bow.

“What news?” His voice rang with command as he spoke.

“Derelas just arrived yesterday.”

“And now?”

“He left for the Imperial City this morning.”

The cloaked man frowned, this might complicate things a bit; our kind is not welcome there. But no matter, he won’t stay forever.

“What else did you discover?”

“He’s searching for them, and he wants the Mages Guild’s help.”

Mages Guild? The shadowed man smiled, his red eyes lit aflame with amusement at the very idea. The Mages were fools. They had no idea what they were allowing to happen under their very noses. To think they could keep us at bay locked away like dogs. They would be in for a rude awakening, and soon.

“Good. Keep an eye on him. I want to know the instant he leaves.”

“As you wish, Lord.”

The two shrouded figures bowed again, then turned to leave themselves. The red-eyed man smiled to himself. Soon the pieces would be in place. The 433rd Year of the Third Era would soon become forever etched in history.

Posted by: SubRosa Dec 23 2010, 11:38 PM

Half a day from Wawnet to the Imp City? I like the extra size and breadth you give Cyrodiil. It makes it feel more like a real place, rather than a game. Likewise with the description you gave the village. One can see that far more than two people live there!

Your description of the size and sheer chaos of the city itself was wonderful. Derelas getting lost in it really underscores that. Being a country boy in the big city for the first time, that is no surprise. Especially when the Imperials cheat with Septim Ave and Septim Way! laugh.gif

but my tongue had become iron.
A wonderful metaphor!

I directed my feet toward the Great Blinding Bridge and made a silent note to thank Y’ffre if I could still see after crossing.
A delightfully tongue-in-cheek thought by Derelas!

Follow who-da, take a right on what-da until I reach where-da?
Once more Derelas' ironic sense of humor shows itself!

Finally, a very intriguing dream by Derelas, coupled by the ending scene. Are those necromancers perhaps? Maybe a certain King of certain Worms? It takes a simple thing like a country boy going to the city, and adds in a touch of menace and mystery that leaves one wanting more. Which is another way of saying: "Story, good, more!" biggrin.gif

nits:
emblazoned in armor that seemed sucked the light in from around him
I think you lost something from a previous edit here. Perhaps you meant something like:
emblazoned in armor that seemed to suck the light in from around him


Ice cold sweat drenched my face as my head rocketed from my pillow, my breathing shallow and ragged. Feeling something in my hand, I looked down to see my steel dagger in my hand… how did it get there? Did I pull it out of my pack in my slumber?
I dropped the dagger to the floor, returning my head to the pillow. All a dream, I thought, just a dream, another dream. Calm down Derelas, it’s nothing to worry about. Old news.

I think the forum ate the space between these two paragraphs. It can do that when you copy and paste.


A balding fisherman was making his way home with his morning catch of some of the biggest Slaughterfish I’ve ever seen, many of the travelers who slept the night here were gathering their horses and pack mules to continue on to wherever it was they were going, and many others still were filing into the small stores nearby, it was a simple, yet elegant, vista of pastoral harmony.
This is an incredibly long sentence. I think you can easily break it up into several sentences. For example:
Here a balding fisherman was making his way home with his morning catch of some of the biggest Slaughterfish I’ve ever seen. There many of the travelers who slept the night here were gathering their horses and pack mules to continue on to wherever it was they were going. All the while many others were still filing into the small stores nearby. It was a simple, yet elegant, vista of pastoral harmony.


Imperial Legion Centurions.
This is a purely flavor-based comment, and feel free to completely disregard it depending on how you want to portray Cyrodiil and build you style-sheet. IRL Roman centurions were junior officers. Commanding formations starting at 80-100 men. So that is like having two modern lieutenants or captains standing guard at the gate. Regular soldiers were legionaries, or if you want to be really precise, munifex. You can find a whole list of ranks and other info http://www.roman-colosseum.info/roman-army/roman-army-ranks.htm.


here it was an outright cacophony of voices, footsteps, shrieks, and hoof beats as people large and small.
I think you meant to have more at the end of the sentence?


I passed through the gates to a scene unlike I’d ever seen before. Instead of the peaceful maritime bustle of Weye, here it was an outright cacophony of voices, footsteps, shrieks, and hoof beats as people large and small. The huge crowd, from the super-rich in fine linens to the street urchins with no more than stained sack cloth, pattered every which way you could think of past whit marble buildings so tall they seemed to wall away the sky. Such a dizzying sight made me begin to wonder if I could ever find the Arcane at all, so I ducked into a shaded back street to pull out my map.
“Looking for something, citizen?” A passing legionnaire inquired.

Looks like another eaten space here.


“Looking for something, citizen?” A passing legionnaire inquired.
Once again, a purely flavor observation that you can feel free to completely ignore. Roman soldiers were called legionaries. Members of the French Foreign Legion are called legionnaires (as the word is French). The game uses legionnaire, in spite of otherwise going out of their way to pattern the Imperial Legion after the Roman legions. Many people prefer the Latin legionary over the French legionnaire, especially if they are using other Latin words like centurion or tribune. Just something to consider for your style-sheet.


perhaps ascending to touch the face of Mundus itself
A lore note here, Mundus is the planet Nirn, its moons, and the planets around them. I think perhaps you meant touch Aetherius instead?


“Derelas just arrived yesterday.”
“And now?”

The hungry forum got another of your spaces.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Dec 24 2010, 12:03 AM

Nits are picked (and another you didn't list was fixed, as well, Latin alphabet doesn't have a U).

As for the Centurions, they aren't actually Centurions, they are OPTIOS SECVNDVA (second lieutenant), but the ranks are close enough that Dere simply mixed them up. They are there as part of the immaculate image the Empire attempts to give the outside world.

Posted by: D.Foxy Dec 24 2010, 01:39 AM

Ahh, so Thomas finally starts writing! Welcome!

Off for the Holidays now, but will read more later.

Posted by: mALX Dec 24 2010, 02:27 AM

You have brought the Imperial City to life in a way I never could!!! Awesome, Riveting Write !!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Acadian Dec 24 2010, 03:17 AM

Welcome to the Arena! What a wonderful start! You have very gently told us that Derelas is a Bosmer, recently arrived from Valenwood. We have so many lovely leading ladies around here, that it is refreshing to have a leading character who is not a ghurrl!!! tongue.gif

And one with a mystery no less! Evil figures cloaked in black intent on destroying Nirn as we know it?

I was gliding softly through the blackness, guided only by the winking blue lights, following them through what seemed a maze of corridors and passageways.
This was wonderfully evocative.

I thoroughly enjoyed your pastoral description of life outside the IC. smile.gif

Nits? My goodness, dear SubRosa has done such a thoughtfully thorough effort already. I would certainly keep an eye on those sentences, and tend to favor short/crisp to long/meandering.

The huge crowd, from the super-rich in fine linens to the street urchins with no more than stained sack cloth, pattered every which way you could think of past whit marble buildings so tall they seemed to wall away the sky.
This one is a clear cut typo (white).

My remaining comments below are purely subjective style considerations, so please feel free to ignore them if they don't suit your intent or purpose. tongue.gif

The Suffocating darkness was broken only by the soft blue glows of unnaturally luminescent crystals.
Is there a reason you capitalized Suffocating here?

Ice cold sweat drenched my face as my head rocketed from my pillow,
Rocketed popped me right out of Tamriel due its suggestion of anachronism. Would you consider some variation of shoot or jerk?

I know this city is supposed to be the shining beacon of the Empire and all, but jeez, you think you might be taking this a bit too far?
Similarly here, only due to lore. 'Jeez' and other similar sounding expressions like 'gee whiz' are rooted in the name Jesus. If it is your intent to blend cultures and lore with a strong tongue in cheek style, that is fine. 'Jeez' makes it very clear you and your character are rooted in modern earth culture, and that may be your intent. Otherwise, you might consider 'but by Y'ffre, you think. . . .'

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Dec 24 2010, 03:39 AM

I ninja'd the typo before you finished posting. biggrin.gif

As for the style viewpoint, I have to say I agree with you on those. Thankfully, easy to fix for all of them. Just a quick vocabulary adjustment.

As for the mystery, that is one for you to ponder over Christmas, since I'm going to be off in New York for the next few days (hip hip hooray for Christmas Vacation), I will sadly be unable to write. This was mostly a teaser chapter to get the ball rolling, but don't fret, I have the long-term goals of this Fic well in hand.

Posted by: Grits Dec 31 2010, 03:16 AM

I love the way you bring the Imperial City to life, especially the light and noise. I am a fan of the name Cyrodiil City, it delighted me to hear the Centurion use it. I am hooked! smile.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Jan 13 2011, 08:59 AM

Postcards from the Imperial City (to tide over until I finally manage to finish part 2)

Click to enlarge:


Talos Plaza
http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/6682/icpostcardtalos2.jpg

The Palace gates
http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/731/icpostcardpalace2.jpg

Arboretum Central Fountain
http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/6283/icpostcardparkway2.jpg

EDIT 1: Updated images with sharpened versions

Mods in use:
-Better Cities, Better Imperial City: Extra IC Architecture
-Let the People Drink: New fountains
-Oblivion Graphics Extender: Color mood and Depth of Field effect
-MTGR's Texture Pack: New, more vibrant textures

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Jan 13 2011, 09:00 AM

Duplicate

Posted by: SubRosa Jan 13 2011, 05:47 PM

Neat pics! What mod are you using to change the city? I see extra "stuff" that is not there in vanilla.

I did notice that the pics look a little fuzzy, like they have a soft focus. Are you running the game in a lower resolution than your desktop's native resolution? That is the main culprit in such cases.

Posted by: Acadian Jan 14 2011, 02:08 AM

Thanks for the beautiful screenies! Wonderfully subtle and tasteful mods you have going there. goodjob.gif

Posted by: Zalphon Jan 14 2011, 02:57 AM

The screenies are great.

Posted by: mALX Jan 14 2011, 08:54 AM

I love that fountain !! Did "Better Cities" add that? Awesome screenies, they could actually be postcards of the IC !!! Great job on those !!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Jan 16 2011, 11:11 AM

@SubRosa: The focus problem was most likely an artifact from the AA shader I was using at the time (you can't use any AA with OBGE, even forced). I've given the pics a quick run through a sharpening filter, so that should help a bit.

@Acadian: Thank you! Tastefulness is what I strive for. I'm actually running the game with flat zero body replacers right now, if you can believe me. I find it helps keep me immersed when not every girl is a supermodel, nor does it give me any pleasure to view nude-shaped pixels. I prefer to indulge in a different kind of pleasurable image, and you're looking at it. smile.gif

@Zalphon: Thank you. Say, those boots on your lich avy are awfully familiar. I think I've seen them in my game somewhere...

@mALX: The fountains are from Let The People Drink, which also adds an aqueduct leading to the IC from Charcoal Cave.

@All: Thank you very much for your kind words and sharp eyes. I think I'd better post this now so I don't go OCD on it again and rewrite it for the umpteenth time. wacko.gif

Next: Derelas arrives at the Arcane University, and meets a new friend...

Chapter 1-2: Recommended Assistance


“Welcome to the Arcane University. Are you looking to join the Mages Guild?”

“Maybe.” I replied. “How would I do so?”

“Just that way.” The ironclad battlemage pointed towards a large spire rising from the center of the courtyard, the many magical lanterns hung throughout the surrounding trees illuminating it a deep fuchsia. “The Enrollment desk will have everything you’re looking for.”

I nodded thanks and strode inside the tower.

The circular room within buzzed with activity. Many lines of people were gathered for various services, the longest of which was for “Financial.” Many more clad in green and occasionally blue robes were milling about the foyer. I made my way to the line for Enrollment, where I was eventually gestured over by a middle-aged Altmer.

“Anything I can help you with today?” It was rather amazing how fast he spoke.

“Yes, how would you go about enrolling in the University?”

“Fill out this application.” He handed me a small booklet of parchment between (sort of) syllables. The front was simple enough; mostly personal information, but one look at the second page instantly perplexed me.

“Recommendations?” I asked the Altmer behind the desk.

“Take a leaflet from the pile here.” He replied. “Anything else?”

“Umm… that’s all for now, I think.”

“Next!”

I left the desk carrying the application and leaflet titled “Recommendations: Furthering your Magical Career” and began to read on my way out of the building…


A true scholar of magic understands the need to put his education to practice. Long-winded lectures by crotchety professors can only get you so far in this world, and now the Guild of Mages offers support for up-and-coming Associates and continuing Apprentices alike to further their practical knowledge of the Arcane Arts in the form of Guild Recommendations. These are simple activities chosen by the magisters of local branch chapter houses (you may find one in every major city in Cyrodiil) designed to test vim, vigor, and dedication to the guild’s everyday work. Remember, the study of magic is not restricted to the walls of the University. It is an ever-continuing endeavor, for the arts of Magic are forever.

A Recommendation consists of a set of tasks that will be determined by whatever assistance may be rendered to the magister’s chapter on that particular day. Upon completion of whatever goals may be set by your magister, said magister will provide written proof of completion. Of course, we here at the University understand that proper incentive is quite helpful in affirming the young mind’s dedication…


*thud*

“Watch it, tree-hugger!”

“Sorry…”

I had collided with a tall and rather shady-looking Nord. His back was now fast retreating, so I gave a sigh of exasperation and decided to find somewhere to sit down to finish reading.

We here at the University understand that proper incentive is quite helpful in affirming the young mind’s dedication towards their goals, so we have outlined a number of benefits for receiving Recommendations. Do please note, however, that only one Recommendation may be applied for and/or received from any chapter.

Associates and Apprentices:

Each recommendation you attain will grant you discounted tuition to the Arcane University. If you manage to obtain five or more, you will receive full scholarship as thanks for your dedication to the Guild. We have provided special forms within your application for this purpose, but you may also choose to have your proof of completion mailed to you. Please contact Gold Horse Courier Services for more information on the latter option.

Evokers and higher:

Each recommendation you complete will grant you discounted guild services, be it spellcrafting, enchantment, or combat training. Those who complete five or more recommendations may receive a grant in the study of your choice*.

*All requests subject to approval by Arch-Mage Hannibal Traven before consideration.

Signed: Raminus Polus, University Headmaster.


As I finished reading, a huge load lifted from my mind. It might actually be possible for me to attend, and without worrying about loans and debts piling up! I slipped the brochure and the application into my pack and left the campus. It would be best if I asked about these Recommendations at the guild chapter houses, since they provide them in the first place. A quick glance at my map told me the town nearest the Imperial City was called Chorrol, located along the Black Road. My mind made up about how I was going to finance my education; and satisfied I had enough information to get on with, I began to make my way back to Wawnet.


----


I arrived back at Weye as the sun began to sink below the western mountains and the telltale orange glow of Masser peeked out from the northeast, bathing the land in their combined orange glow. I took a moment to drink in the splendor.

“Pretty neat view?”

I turned to find a Dunmer girl in leathers was standing next to me. Her ashen skin clashed vividly with raven-black hair set aflame with crimson by the evening light. It was an almost ethereal sight, that of a woman who was blazingly openhearted, yet independent and secluded. It felt as if her spirit might be in turmoil…. Ehh, not important right now, Dere; she’s talking to you right now, so you might want to talk back.

“Yeah… very orange.” I said back to her simply.

“True. A little romantic, maybe; sun setting over a manor village, smoke curling from the chimneytops…”

“…A young lady standing admiring it with a man at her side.”

The lady turned to look at me, a faint smile crossing her lips.

“Took the words right out of my mouth.” She replied, walking towards the door of the Inn. “Shall we go inside? Grab a bite?”

“Why not. Too nice an evening to spend alone.” I quipped, following her inside.

It was very cozy within the Inn’s walls with a large fire merrily crackling away behind the bar and several whole pigs sizzling over it on skewers, filling the room with the savory smell of roast pork. It was very busy tonight; the inn was packed with road-weary travelers. The female Dunmer I met outside sat down at the bar then looked back to me. I took a seat next to her at the bar, and the well-endowed publican promptly greeted us and took our food orders. We didn’t speak much until dinner arrived; even then, it was she that started conversation once again.

“Not one to talk much, are you?”

“Not really, idle chat isn’t exactly one of my strong suits.” Best to be honest with her, I thought. Living a lonely life can do that to you.

“OK, so how about I break the ice then? What brings you here to Weye? I doubt you’re here just to admire the lake.”

“I was visiting the Arcane University, up in the Imperial City.” I responded.

“Interesting, I never took you for a city boy, why go there? Country life too dull for you?”

“Well, you know, furthering of knowledge, exciting opportunities, and who knows? Maybe I’ll get to see someone magick a horse into the Arch-Mages quarters?”

“Funny enough, someone actually did that before….”

“No joke?”

“Nope, and not a happy day for horsie, either. Probably destroyed half the furniture before they finally managed to get it down.” She explained, her grin matching the laughter in her eyes. “But really, why were you there? You look pretty fresh out of the Elder Woods, I can’t imagine what you’d want in such a crowded binge as Cyrodiil City.”

“Well, since you asked nicely… I’m mostly looking to study the Ayleids.”

“And what in Y’ffre’s Great Woods would make you want that?” She asked with a barely disguised hint of disgust in her voice.

“Well, my parents held an interest in them. Sorta felt like following in their footsteps. What, is there something wrong with my interest?”

“No, nothing with you, with the Ayleids.” She replied, the note of revulsion in her eyes and voice ever present, “The beauty of their structures was only matched by the heartlessness of their culture. Thank the Gods they were conquered.”

“A little harsh, don’t you think? I mean, who deserves to be erased from existence?” I asked her, hoping that I was missing something.

“I know what I’ve seen, and they did…” She started, then her voice trailed off. “Say, where are you’re parents, anyway?” She suddenly asked, “Why are you traveling all by yourself?”

I turned away from looking at her. This was not something I wanted to talk about; it was still a little painful to think about.

“Sorry, bad question.” She quickly responded.

“Thanks.” I replied before quickly changing the subject. “Anyways, where do you hail? You hardly seem the city type yourself, miss forester.”

“Oh, so you noticed! Was I that obvious?” She giggled.

“Well, not everyone shares dinner and chatter in rawhide leathers, that’s for sure.”

“True.” She replied. “Well, I’m Cyrodiil-born, myself. I was born by Moonbind under the sign of the Shadow.”

“Moonbind?” I inquired. I never heard that term before, though I was fairly certain it had something to do with Nirn’s dual moons.

“When Secunda passes in front of Masser.” She explained. “That along with my birthsign is seen as a sign of good luck among my home village of Faregyl.”

“I don’t think I’ve heard of a place called Faregyl before…”

“Well, probably not, Faregyl’s a pretty small village. The company was a little… iffy. There’s this one guy, Alix Lencolia, he kept bringing people round and sparring with them all day long… fun to watch, but it gets really annoying listening to swords clash all day long. All things considered, though, I liked it there.”

“Given a birth like yours. You must have been quite the sneaky one.”

At this she gave a small laugh. “Plenty of the farmers back home are still wondering where some of their precious gardening tools went. I wasn’t even the only prankster there, and nowhere close to the funniest.”

“So then why’d you leave if you had so much fun there?”

She cocked her head and shrugged along with her response, “Got bored.” This reply immediately struck me as pretty flimsy, as if she were trying to hide something. Or maybe she was just being coy.

“In a village so close to your element?”

“Well, I enjoy my solitude.”

OK, now definitely trying to hide something. I quickly dropped the subject, turning away to continue eating.

“Drunken louts.” I suddenly heard her say. I turned to look at her, and she was looking back towards the dining area, where a large number of people had gathered around a table and were making a huge amount of noise.

“Really? They don’t seem too bad right now.”

“Maybe now, but in five minutes, some barfight could start or…”

*CRASH*
“REALLY!!!”

An almighty frenzy shook us out of our discussion as a table was overturned, sending several tankards and plates flying across the room. Two people had started a drunken brawl, and a Dunmer was pummeling someone I couldn’t make out with sickening force, each blow striking as hard as a smith’s hammer on an anvil. A second crash told me the door of the inn had flown open, and a Legionary, clanking loudly in his plate mail, rushed to the scene to break up the fight. He grabbed the Dunmer and nearly threw him across the room to remove him from whoever he was grinding into the stonework. The Dunmer responded by rushing the guard and slamming his fist into his chest, or rather, his armor, as communicated by the resounding *GONG!*. The guard responded with a heavily armored elbow to the face, and a loud crack signaled the Dunmer’s jaw breaking as he fell to the floor unconscious. The guard then grabbed him by the ankles and wrists, lifted him over his shoulders like a hunter would a carcass, and carried him away… to the prisons, no doubt. A second guard then arrived and hauled away the the other brawler, who had passed out after the Dunmer was taken. She was a Redguard, her gray hair heavily matted, and face heavily lined and scarred. She had the look of someone who was ready to fall apart at the seams.

My eyes met my companion’s, who had raised an eyebrow….

“You see? What did I tell you?” She said.

“Well, there goes my appetite.” I replied, pushing my plate away, with her following suit.

“We should probably get some rooms before they all disappear.” She said, waving the publican over and handing her some gold. She then turned to me with raised eyebrows.

“Mine’s already paid.” I quickly answered. “Well, it was nice talking.” I told her as I got up to head back to my room.

“Yeah, it was.” She replied. “And who knows, maybe I’ll see you again?”

“Maybe you me, but I’d probably struggle with that, given your birthrights and whatnot.”

“Then I’ll be sure to announce my presence with trumpets and drums.” She joked back, grinning.

“Thanks…” Came my bashful reply.

“By the way, I never did get a name.”

“Oh, it’s Derelas.” I told her.

“Fathrian Dresdan, but you can just call me Faith. Good night.” She turned to leave, but then turned back.

“Hey, I thought you said you weren’t very good at talking?”

“Sometimes I surprise myself.” I said simply, prompting a chuckle from Faith.

“Well, good night.” She finished, turning away and making her way upstairs.

“Night.” I called back, rising from the bar to retreat to my own room.


----


Screenshots (Click to enlarge)

Panoramic view over the Rumare Basin:
http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/4824/screenshot15n.jpg

Sunset over Weye:
http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/3439/sunsetoverweye.jpg

Mods in use: Please don't ask laugh.gif

EDIT: Well, because there seems to be an interest in the new Weye, the mod is AFK_Weye by Dwip.

Posted by: mALX Jan 16 2011, 08:05 PM

The scene as students are signing up for classes at the Arcane was AWESOME !!!! You brought realism and life into the Arcane - HUGE!!!!

Your ability to set the mood of the story through dialogue is proven in this chapter. Details and descriptions are perfect !!! I love the idea of Weye being a village, it makes sense that small townships around the largest city would be more than 2 building size - I love it ... but won't ask...

Gee, I wonder who the Faregyl prankster was? Or the one that placed the horse in Arch Mage Traven's quarters? ROFL !!! I loved that !!!! (infamy = +2, ROFL)

Awesome chapter, you keep intriguing with this story, and your ability to take "Postcard Quality" screenshots may even surpass Victoria !!!

Posted by: SubRosa Jan 16 2011, 08:17 PM

the longest of which was for “Financial.”
Yep, that is higher education!

I like your version of the guild recommendations, with them being an optional way of making tuition cheaper, rather than a requirement for every person who wanted to enter the Arcane U. The latter idea has always seemed silly to me.

Ehh, not important right now, Dere; she’s talking to you right now, so you might want to talk back.
“Yeah… very orange.” I said back to her simply.

This was a wonderful little piece!

The lady turned to look at me, a faint smile crossing her lips.
For a moment I thought Teresa had entered the DF. Then I remembered that she was a Dunmer! laugh.gif

I wasn’t even the only prankster there, and nowhere close to the funniest.
Hmmm, now I wonder who that other prankster might have been? wink.gif

a female Redguard with blinding white hair
Sounds like someone was dissing the legion! wink.gif


I know that Weye mod! I cannot recall the name, but I saw how it turns Weye into an actual village, instead of one house and an inn. Very cool!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Jan 17 2011, 01:04 AM

To all who previously read:

After a bit of collusion with Haute Ecole Rider, the fight scene has been edited. I'd suggest re-reading it, as several details are now different.

Posted by: mALX Jan 17 2011, 01:18 AM

QUOTE(Thomas Kaira @ Jan 16 2011, 07:04 PM) *

To all who previously read:

After a bit of collusion with Haute Ecole Rider, the fight scene has been edited. I'd suggest re-reading it, as several details are now different.



Julian as a loutish drunk in the bar !!! Woo Hoo !!!

Posted by: Acadian Jan 17 2011, 03:16 AM

Don't worry about posting slowly if that is what it takes. I'm just so glad to see you continuing this! biggrin.gif

Yes, referencing characters from other fanfics can be great fun, but does indeed take careful coordination with the other writer. tongue.gif

I very much liked how you depicted the bustle of enrolling at the University. Likewise, I think your treatment of recommendations was excellent and well-reasoned. bluewizardsmile.gif A nice touch to have Derelas walking along reading and bump into someone - what a clever way to break up the reading!

As I was approaching the end of this episode, I started thinking. C'mon, dummy - get her name! Within a couple paragraphs you fixed me right up! goodjob.gif

Faith sounds fun and their dinner provided some rich background to the world in which your story takes place. I hope Derelas sees her again.

Hmm, seems like perhaps a trip to Chorrol. Maybe some guild recommendations. Or possibly Derelas will be drawn off course?

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Jan 20 2011, 02:41 AM

@mALX: Kittens will be kittens, that much is certain. I'm glad you enjoyed Dere's visit the Arcane University, I'm sure it brings back many humble memories, I know it did for several other people. tongue.gif

@SubRosa: Faith was originally intended to be a Bosmer, but I decided against it because I felt that would make her a bit too much like Teresa. I then tried switched her to Dunmer, and my original introduction for her fit rather well, so I took it.

@Acadian: I really didn't like the way recommendations were handled in the game, and since this story is intended to convey a sense of atmosphere to the world, it just had to go. You'll probably see a lot more of this in the future, as nonlinear game mechanics don't tend to agree well with linear storytelling.

@All: Introductions are the hardest part of the writing process for me, so now that the dreaded first chapter is finally done, things should be a bit easier for me from here on out, and you should see me updating a bit more frequently.

Next: Derelas leaves for Chorrol, and a rather unpleasant encounter brings a few memories back...



Chapter 2-1: The Black Road




“Run and catch, run and catch, the lamb is caught in the Blackberry patch.”

The eerie singsong voice floated through the black halls, every so often lit with glinting blue crystals. It was drawing me, an insatiable urge to find it washed through my body.

“Blackberry falls, Blackberry falls…”

Suddenly my eyes were filled with crimson light as I turned the corner. A black figure stood at the entrance to the room… she was singing. I was hearing her voice.

“…sweet child of mine the Night recalls.”

I closed the distance, and she looked up. She smiled to me; her eyes alight with joy. I moved in closer, I knew that face…

Her face then became one of pain; I heard the sound of metal cutting flesh as a glinting blade penetrated through her stomach. Behind her was another figure, pitch black, except for the eyes… red eyes, the color of blood.


“Mother!”

I was in my bed at Wawnet, once again sweating ice. Another nightmare, such a wonderful start to the day… they’ve been getting worse ever since I arrived. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever be able to sleep at all in the near future. These thoughts did nothing to help my mood as I dressed and made my way downstairs to breakfast before leaving.

Yesterday’s wonderfully clear and warm summer day had given way to a light cloud cover as I left the Inn after breakfast. It was business as usual around Weye this morning, except the fisherman I saw yesterday was noticeably limping and had apparently reeled in empty. He made a beeline for his small cottage, quickly shutting the door behind him, as I turned west towards the Black Road bound for Chorrol.

I was passing a large network of stone ruins once the sun had fully risen. Many vines of deep blue morning glory accented their crumbling walls of yellowing stone and breathed new life into the abandoned crenellations. I took a moment to drink in the sight of the ruined keep, an ancient relic from a time long gone. A slight breeze played my ears as I passed, and I could almost hear the rowdy cries of soldiers, the soft nickering of horses, and the ringing of the hammer on the anvil. In fact, I could hear something now… sounded like footsteps.

A Khajiit clad in hardened furs dashed out from behind the walls. He took one look at me, and then his hand swiftly dove to the haft of a mace swinging by his side.

“All right, hold up right there! This is a robbery, your money or your life!” He snarled. Wonderful, my first journey out on my own and I’m being held up…. First nightmares, now robbers… what did I do to deserve this?

“Look, I really don’t have the time or patience to deal with some sleaze who’s so ashamed of his own pelt he wears another’s. Just get out of my way.” I had spoken without really thinking it through, but didn’t care. It just felt good to rain on his parade.

“Bite your tongue, Wood Elf, before I smash in your jaw!” Came his bitter reply. I responded by drawing my sword.

“Try me.” I shot back, my mind racing about what was coming.

“Hey! What’s going on here?!” A shout came from behind. The Khajiit responded by quickly snarling, “don’t even think I’m finished with you,” and dashing off. A loud clanking behind me announced the arrival of a Legion patrol. I sheathed my sword and turned to face him.

“What was that all about?” He asked me immediately. I responded quickly, telling him about my assailant, what he looked like, and where he went.

“Fan out, men, he can’t have gone far.” At this, three more legionaries on horseback urged their mounts forward. The soldier on foot then turned back to me, apparently having more to say.

“You’ll want to be careful if you’re traveling alone. I don’t know what’s going on, but we’ve been getting increasing reports of muggings and robberies along the roads. Nothing we can’t handle, but you just keep that in mind. Stay vigilant, stay safe, citizen.”

“Well, thanks for coming along before that got ugly.” I replied back. “And for the warning.”

“We serve and protect. Carry on.” The soldier finished, turning away and mounting his horse. “And don’t worry about that highwayman, we’ll find him. Just stick to the roads as much as you can.” He called out as he rode away.

I put my back against the morning glory-overgrown wall and sat down to let my mind catch up with me. The moment I saw that mace drawn, my mind flashed back to when I was sixteen…


----


“The key to being the better fighter is to always be one step ahead of your opponent.” My father had brought me outside and down to the floor of the forest from our home high in the tree canopies. He had brought with him several different weapons, daggers, swords, axes, and maces.

“Where did you get all these?” I asked him.

“Later, son. Right now, concentrate on your technique. Remember the basics, don’t lose your footing, and above all, try to predict what I’m about to do.” He had a large wooden stick in his hand, which he was using as a makeshift club. I held my wooden dagger tight, palms beginning to sweat, silently begging it not to slip free like last time.

He swung the club downward and came at me low. I quickly hopped back, dodging the blow, and lunged in to counter as he recovered his swing. Sidestepping my lunge, he brought the club around and swung low again, aiming for my knees and forcing me to jump to avoid him. Once my feet hit the ground again, he was swinging for me again, this time high, aiming for the arms. I ducked down to avoid the blow…

“Not good! I have the momentum now.” Dad called out to me as made me sidestep a vertical swing. “You’ll need to get out of this before I tire you out!”

Yeah, thanks for the obvious advice, what do you think I’m trying to do right now? I frantically checked for a way to turn the tables on him, and noticed him shifting his weight to his rear foot. As quick as I could, so to catch him on his recovery swing, I hooked my leg around his, and before he could fully brace himself, kicked it out.

The resulting disappearance of his weighted foot caused him to overbalance and fall to the ground. I quickly followed him with my dagger, and plunged it towards his heart…

“Gotcha!”

It was over. I had won the day, and Dad had a huge grin on his face.

“Excellent! Remember, keep ahead of your foe, try to predict his next move, and do what you can to counter it, like you did there with taking my leg out before I could finish putting my weight on it. Now, let’s try again.”


----


“Your swordplay is definitely improving,” Dad said. It was evening now, and we were enjoying a dinner of roast rabbit together in the cool evening air. “You make me so proud of you, son.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I replied. I was still curious about something, though. “Now, are you going to tell me where all those weapons you brought out came from?”

“Oh, those!” He softly exclaimed… “Well, some were supplied by the Archaeology Guild, and others are pieces they let me keep.” He told me, but that answer only puzzled me even more.

“I… I don’t think I understand. Why would you need weapons for that kind of job? Digging really doesn’t seem all that dangerous, just a lot of shoveling and lifting.”

“Archaeology isn’t just about digging things up. Many times we are asked to look around inside for artifacts to recover, and no one knows what manner of beasts may have come to dwell within the ruins we occasionally uncover. Tamriel is a lot more dangerous than many people care to admit. That’s why we were out here today, practicing your skills with the blade. You need to know how to handle yourself in a fight.” He then shifted his gaze skyward before adding: “Besides, if you want to join me at the Guild, they like it if you can handle yourself. It tells them you’re serious about the job.”

“OK, that helps explain where they came from,” I replied, though there was still one more question on my mind: “but why did you bring them with us down here?”

“I was hoping you’d ask,” My father replied, smiling down at me, “Tomorrow is your seventeenth birthday. I want you to choose one weapon from the set I brought, and that weapon will become yours to keep.”

“Really?” I could feel my eyes beginning to moisten. This was my family’s acknowledgement that I had matured. The bequeathing of a weapon, as was tradition for many others, and us, told the world that I was a man, ready to make his own choices and solve his own problems.

“Really,” Dad replied. It was all I could do but to hug him tight and thank him from the bottom of my heart. “You’ve grown up strong, and a father couldn’t ask for a better son. Keep to your training, and then we’ll talk about getting you some work at the Guild.”

I moved to the various assortments of swords and axes to find the one that I felt best spoke to my spirit. I selected a shortsword crafted of steel, and gave it a quick figure-eight, listening to the metal’s ringing song, and feeling the hilt shift in my palm, observing balance and weight.

“I like this one,” I told my dad.

“Great,” He replied. “Now, best get back home, we’ve got a big day tomorrow. I believe your mother is planning to bring you out to craft your bow, so get some rest.”

“By the way, dad…” Just one more thing I needed to set straight.

“Yes?”

“You didn’t forget my birthsign, right? You know I don’t tire easily.” He responded to this by grasping my shoulder and squeezing.

“Just don’t let it get to your head. The Steed may give you a horse’s lungs and legs, but not their constitution. If all else fails, remember to call to Equine for aid. You’ll know when he answers…”



----



Looks like the sun is nearing its zenith, I should probably get going if I want to reach the next inn by evening. As I stood, I felt my sword brush my side, and I took hold of its hilt, feeling familiar comforting warmth spread to my fingertips. It was as if my father’s spirit resided within... the only piece of him I had left, as my bow was of my mother. It was all I could wish for now but to hold my blade close and pray that someday, somewhere, I might just see them again.

Posted by: Acadian Jan 20 2011, 03:14 AM

You're a tease! Lots of answers, but even more questions here.

Nice use of mysterious dreams and wonderful Valenwood flashbacks to bring out some of Derelas' upbringing and family history. I'm quite pleased to see you are not rushing him along. You actually covered very little ground here, but the lingering was ever so worth it! Well done.

This is great fun to read! goodjob.gif

Posted by: SubRosa Jan 20 2011, 03:25 AM

once again sweating ice.
This is a very evocative phrase! goodjob.gif

so ashamed of his own pelt he wears another’s.
I love this too!

“The key to being the better fighter is to always be one step ahead of your opponent.”
Pappy Vitellus would agree!

The ending really makes this segment, with the scene between father and son. Derelas is lucky to have had such a father. A man who is an inspiration rather than a tyrant. Who nurtures the growth of a son rather than prunes it, however unwittingly. This is so simply and eloquently done not only in the practice duel, but in the father's reaction at his son's victory. It is one of pride at the man Derelas has become. And all done so lightly as to be nearly transparent to the reader.

I also see by some of the references that there are some mods that you might be using in your fiction, such as the Ayleid Steps and its Archaeology Guild. I never got around to playing that one, so it will be nice to see it.


nits:
I had spoken without really thinking it through, but didn’t really care.
You have a repetition of really in the same sentence. I think you can just remove either of them and the sentence will read fine.


The Khajiit responded by quickly snarling, “Don’t even think I’m finished with you.” and dashing off.
You have two punctuation issues in this sentence. I think caused by confusion from the quotation marks. When punctuating a sentence, just ignore the quotation marks. So when looking above don't should be lowercase, as it is part of the same sentence as quickly snarling. Then later on finished with you ought to end with a comma rather than a period, as the last three words are part of the same sentence. Or what you might to do is completely rearrange the sentence, perhaps like this:
"Don't even think I'm finished with you!" the Khajiit snarled quickly, then dashed off.


As quick as I could, so to catch him on his recovery swing, I swung my leg around his, and before he could fully brace himself, kicked it out.
You have two variations of the same word (swung) in the same sentence. You could probably replace the second case with something like brought, or hooked.


“Your swordplay is definitely improving.” Dad said.
Another case of punctuation. That ought to be a comma at the end of the dialogue as the sentence continues with Dad said.

“Thanks, Dad.” I replied.
Same thing here. Plus a few more after that.

I should say that there are some schools of grammar thought that say capitalize inside the quotations. So if you want to keep them that way it is up to you, and I won't bring it up again. English is not an exact science like mathematics or astronomy. There is more than one school of thought on what constitutes 'proper' writing and what does not. So go with what you think is right, and put that in your stylesheet.

The reason I suggest going with the commas is basically one of consistency. Things like 'he said' do not make a complete sentence. But if you put the period inside your dialogue quotes, it looks that way. That breaks my immersion, because it makes me start thinking about grammar rules rather than just reading the story. I used to write with the periods in the quotations, until it was pointed out to me on the Beth forums by Rachel the Breton. She sort of made me see the light, and I have been happily using commas since.


figure-8
Just a purely aesthetic observation, and feel free to ignore it and like I said above, just go with your gut. But often numbers look better when they are spelled out with letters rather than using numerals (i.e. eight rather than 8).

Posted by: mALX Jan 20 2011, 04:03 AM

This chapter was Huge with emotions. You set the mood for the nightmare with that eerie music - that whole scene was haunting - excellent!

The dream's carryover to Derelas's mood on the trip set the staging for his memories of his father and lack of preparedness in the robbery attempt - Huge !!! Awesome Chapter !!!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Jan 23 2011, 12:35 AM

@Acadian: Keeping you guessing is my business. Glad to see you're enjoying yourself. smile.gif

@SubRosa: Thank you for the styling suggestions, they are always welcome and only ever helpful. I'm using this story as a means to refine my fiction writing skills as well as to entertain you, so any suggestions you may have that will help improve the writing are greatly appreciated. Thanks for the vote of confidence, as well.

@mALX: After reading your latest, mine seems almost drab by comparison. Don't worry, though, I'll get there eventually, just you wait. wink.gif

@All: Thank you for your continued support.

Next: News arrives from the Imperial City, and Dere's adventure begins.


Chapter 2-2: Assassinations and Proclamations



ETHEBRIDGE MILL
Welcome to County Chorrol


The dense green forests of the Heartlands gave way to the rugged yellow grasslands and evergreens of the Colovian Highlands. The brook marking the county border babbled away beneath the small stone bridge across, its speed becoming that of a frenzy having finally been freed of the millpond just northward. The mill wheel creaked slowly and gutturally as it turned, and the faint sound of grindstones could be heard from within. To complete the picture, a huge rocky peak rose beyond the watchtower, the sandy stone cliffs occasionally broken by colossal caverns housing ancient carved stone structures. The moist, heavy air became lighter and drier the further I traveled over the past two days, and now my head was beginning to twinge rather uncomfortably. Probably just from all the travel, I told myself, it’ll get better after a good night’s rest. The walls of Chorrol were just visible over the rocky hilltops; I should be able to make it by sundown.



----



“Welcome to Chorrol,” one of the guards outside greeted me as he lit his lantern. “I suppose you’re looking for a place to stay for the night?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” I replied.

“The Oak and Crosier is a fine place,” the guard began, “Talasma is very friendly and keeps a good clean house. As a matter of fact, she’s probably serving dinner right now, so best you hurry along if you don’t want to miss out.”

“Where can I find the place?”

“Just inside the gates off to the left of the Saint Statue Plaza. Should be packed right about now, so you can’t miss it.”

Not exactly the atmosphere I was looking for, I would have preferred some place where I could sleep off this headache in peace.

“Is there any place else, maybe somewhere a bit quieter?”

“Only the Gray Mare,” the guard told me, his face stiffening, “but all you’ll find there is cheap ale and raving drunkards.” That statement did wonders for making up my mind. Better loud and sober than sick and drunk.

“Right, Oak and Crosier it is.”

“Have a good night.”

The guard touched two fingers to his helmet as I made my way through the portcullis. It was getting too dark at this point to see much of the city, but I could make out the shadow of a statue by the light of a large building buzzing with activity to the left behind it. Deciding that must be place the watchman recommended, I made my way inside.

“Welcome to the Oak and Crosier, this one is Talasma, at your service. Looking for something to eat, or perhaps a place to rest?” A smiling Khajiit dressed smartly in blue suede greeted me warmly as the door swung closed behind me. The room was filled with men and mer wining, dining and chattering away, and while noisy, the effect was not unpleasant, rather it added a warming atmosphere. I made a silent note to thank the watchman next time I saw him, but in the meantime, I had dinner to worry about….

“Perhaps,” I replied, “what do you have?”

“Today we are serving boar; it’s been rubbed with sage, garlic, and a touch of clove and slow-roasted. That comes with a baked potato with butter, sour cream, and Cheydinhal Cheddar and a skillet-seared mushroom stuffed with tomatoes and caramelized onions,” she quickly recited. There was passion in her voice accented by her perked-up ears, telling me she really did love her work. She certainly knows how to get her customers' mouths watering.

“Sounds delicious,” I returned, “How much for that and a bed for the night?”

“20 Drakes,” she responded. I handed her a small handful of silver coins.

“Thank you. Now, there should be a free seat over this way, follow me….”



----



Warm sunbeams fell across my bed as I started up. My head had stopped aching and better yet, no night terrors. It would have been a perfect start to the day if there was not something that didn’t seem to fit about this morning. The inviting murmur of the evening meal had given way to an oddly stiff silence that seemed to compress the air within the lodge, making it seem oddly difficult to breathe. After a quick visit to the washroom, I made my way downstairs, and was greeted by an empty room. Not even Talasma was present. Something was very wrong with this picture now. The publican was not serving the breakfast fare, and the entire city was dead silent when it should be buzzing with the morning activity. Since I was obviously not going to get any questions answered in here by myself, I thought it best to go outside and see what was going on.

“…under his rule we saw 65 years of peace and prosperity, and many grave threats to the Imperial throne quashed.”

A booming voice greeted me as I made my way out the door. What looked to be the entire city’s population was gathered in the Statue Plaza, where a herald dressed entirely in black velvet was speaking from a raised wooden podium. Every face that I could see looked thunderstruck, and I could also hear the occasional sob. I noticed Talasma nearby and made my way to her, hoping to get a better idea of what happened.

“Excuse me, what’s going on here?” I whispered to her, making her jump before she quickly turned to face me.

“Goodness, you startled me,” She replied, “Umm… sorry, what did you ask, again?”

“What happened?” I repeated to her, doing my best to keep my voice down so to not disturb anyone else.

“Oh, yes,” She began, her voice higher than usual and quavering oddly, “Its… It’s the Emperor… He’s dead.” On speaking that last word, she gasped as if she hardly dared believe what she had just said. The air vanished from my lungs and electricity surged through my body as if I had been lightning-struck. I immediately turned my full attention to the herald, wanting just as much as everybody else to know what had happened.

“His passing marks a dark day indeed for the Empire, for the eternal flame of Akatosh, the light by which we all owe our lives to, grows dark. Today has been proclaimed a day of mourning by the Elder Council, who, until a decision as to who shall next attain the throne, shall take control of the Empire. They will do the best they can to maintain order until a new Emperor can be crowned. Her lordship Countess Arriana Valga would now wish for you to join her in a moment of prayer for the loss of such true-hearted men.” He then proceeded to help an elderly woman, also dressed in black velvet for the occasion, to the stand.

Wait, what? This makes no sense. Didn’t he have any heirs? What happened to them? Shouldn’t the Elder Council be searching them out? What else did I miss? How did he die? My mind buzzed with questions as the crowd bowed their heads and brought their hands together.

“Thank you,” the herald broke the silence after several minutes and helped the countess back down, where she moved to rejoin her guard at the head of the crowd. “If anyone wishes to know more, the Black Horse Courier is available here. Funeral processions will be held a week from today in Cyrodiil City.”

He then stepped down himself, and the entire square erupted into a maelstrom of confused voices as the crowd gradually dispersed. It took me several minutes to fight my way through to the makeshift newsstand that had been erected. Once I finally managed, all of my questions were answered with two drakes:



IPB Image

Emperor and Heirs Assassinated in the Night!


It is with great regret that we inform you today of the tragic passing of His Majesty Uriel Septim VII, 87, and his three sons (Geldall Septim (56), Enman Septim (55), and Ebel Septim (53)) at the hands of a mysterious group of assassins on the night of Last Seed the 27th. This means for the first time in recorded history, the Dragon Throne lies empty with no heir to claim it, and many eyewitnesses have reported that the Eternal Flame of Akatosh in the Temple of the One has been extinguished.

“Normally when the Emperor passes, the flame simply dims until one of his heirs binds himself to the throne in the Coronation Ceremony,” Temple primate Tandilwe stated during interview with Black Horse Courier reporter Hassiri, “for it to go out completely would be unthinkable.”

But unfortunately, it has. With the Dragonfires darkened, the people of the Empire have erupted into a mass of confusion and hysteria. Many doomsayers have begun to hold this event as a portent to the end of all things.

“The Compact has broken,” One told our reporters, “The power of the Nine has failed! The signs have never been clearer! Soon the jaws of Oblivion shall open, and the Daedra will roam free across the land!”


What a load of horse manure… the Emperor was assassinated not much more than two days ago and already we have idiots like these doing nothing more than add fuel to fire beneath the boiling cauldron! If the Elder Council is doing everything they can to hold Tamriel together right now, it sure won’t help with fools like these trying to get everyone to blow their tops just to keep the sales up. Crumpling the paper in my hands, I stuffed it as far as I could to the bottom of my pack so I might never see it again. Taking a quick look around, I noticed several of the shops around town were beginning to open. Assured that business was not being hampered by the tragedy today, I returned to my original task.

Following the posted signs up Great Oak Lane brought me to the similarly named Great Oak Plaza. The first thing that caught my eye was the tree growing in the center; it was huge! Its trunk towered over even the tallest buildings and the leafy canopy spread its shade to every corner of the rotunda, bringing back visions of the woods back home. The encircling road was now bustling with people moving every which way now that the herald was finished. Occasionally, a few would stop to chat, probably speculating about what will happen now that the Empire had lost its leader, but no one stood in the same place for long. Those who were here to relax were spread out upon the grassy knoll beneath which the great tree spread its roots, or sitting upon one of the many mahogany benches encircling it.

It was tempting to just throw my head back beneath the shade of the broad leaves for the day and let everything sink in, but I knew better. I wouldn’t get any closer to the University doing nothing. After a few more minutes of searching, I finally noticed the blue eye denoting the location of the guild, and made my way to the oaken doors.




----





“Hello, welcome to the Chorrol Mages Guild,” I was promptly greeted by the lightly hissing voice of an Argonian clad in indigo robes, “I am chapter Magister Teekeus. Are you here to join, or perhaps for one of these ‘Recommendations’ I’ve been hearing so much about?”

“Both, actually,” I replied, digging into my pack to remove the papers I brought with me from the Imperial City. He sounded like he was rather grumpy, and I couldn’t help but notice the irritation in his low voice when he said “Recommendation.”

“You won’t need those just yet,” Teekeus stopped me, causing me to look quizzically into his unreadable eyes. “First we need to give you a quick aptitude examination.”

“What? What test?” I asked indignantly. I thought anyone was allowed to join? Why do I need to take some dumb test?

“Don’t worry, it’s just for evaluation. It won’t affect your standing,” There was that irritated voice again, which did nothing to reassure me. I wasn’t sure if I liked him all that much. “I just need to know what schools of magic you are experienced in so we can better plan for your needs.”

“Illusion and Alchemy,” I quickly recited. I just wanted to get this over with, seeing as there was so much I’d rather be doing right now than listen to some crotchety lizard-man preen about my experience.

“OK, perhaps you show me a spell from the Illusion school?”

Repressing a sigh, I closed my eyes, imagining the lights had all gone away. I then fixed my mind on a desire to bring light to the darkness as I tensed my arm and clenched my fist. Soon I felt energy surge to my palm, and I held it in as long as I could before letting my hand fly open, releasing the Magicka in the form I desired…

*ROAR*

Oh, gods, did I just start a fire or something? My eyes flung open to the sight of another Bosmer, his hair ablaze, sprinting for the front door as fast as his legs could carry him. My stomach plummeted.

“HE’S OUT OF CONTROL, SOMEONE GET A LEASH ON HIM!” He cried out as he threw himself outside. I then saw a strange creature prance out of the neighboring room. It looked like a goblin, except he had black scales instead of green skin, long pointy ears, a maw full of sharp teeth, and a fireball building in one hand. With a quick motion, Teekeus cast a ball of purple light at the creature, causing it to dissolve into nothingness.

“Sorry about that,” he replied nonchalantly, “now, that was a Light spell, right?”

“Wait, hang on, that wasn’t me, was it?” I sure hoped it wasn’t. I don’t think I would be able to stand the shame.

“No, Erthor just has a bit of trouble controlling his summons,” Teekeus replied uninterestedly.

I raised an eyebrow at his response, but decided it would be best not to continue this discussion. “Yes, it was a light spell,” I replied to Teekeus’s original question. I then heard the door open as the Bosmer named Erthor returned, now bald and with his face sopping wet. It was all I could manage to resist laughing as he stomped upstairs, slamming the door behind him.

“Okay, now for Alchemy. Wait here.” He made his way into the neighboring room and returned a couple minutes later with a mortar and pestle, a white mushroom cap, a small cut of meat, and a vial of water. He then laid them on a small table next to a window and turned back to me. “Show me what you can do with those.”

A quick examination of the ingredients told me the mushroom was Cairn Bolete and the meat was venison. I then took the ingredients and began to crush them together with the mortar and pestle, not stopping until they had become a bright pink paste. I then slowly added in the water, stirring constantly, until the contents of the pestle flashed and shone with magical power. I then handed Teekeus the finished product, which he quickly appraised.

“A simple restorative draught,” he declared, “crude, but acceptable. Now, is there anywhere else you have magical skill in?”

“Nope,” I replied honestly.

“Very well. Hand me that application you had earlier.”

I handed him the leaflet of parchment, he then made a quick motion with his hand, causing a quill to appear out of nowhere, and began scratching away.




----




“Welcome to the Mages Guild, Associate,” Teekeus said as I handed him back his quill, which promptly vanished.

“Thanks,” I replied, “Now, I don’t mean to rush anything, but about that recommendation….”

“Oh, that,” Teekeus quickly looked out the window and I could swear I saw his scales darken as his eyes narrowed, “well, thankfully for you something’s just come up. I need you to find out what Earana is doing here.”

“Who is Earana?” I inquired, unsure how I fit into whatever was happening between them.

“Let’s just say we have a history together,” Teekeus replied, “She doesn’t put much by the rules of the guild and has taken to interfering with my research. I need you to speak to her, find out what she’s doing in Chorrol, and then come back here and tell me.”

I had to bite my tongue on the several questions I had, particularly why he just wouldn’t go outside and ask her himself. It probably wouldn’t be a very good idea to antagonize him right now, considering how on-edge and grouchy he looks. Instead, I wordlessly made my way outside, and immediately noticed a sandy-blond Altmer in a bright green dress making a beeline for me.

“Pardon me, are you new to the guild?” she immediately asked. This must be Earana, I thought; time to play along. At the very least I could answer this question honestly.

“Yes, actually, I am,” I told her.

“Ah, good,” she replied, a shifty grin crossing her face, “then you’ll do just fine. My name is Earana, and I have a job for you. It pays well, and it will most assuredly assist you in your education.”

“Depends on the job,” I told her, noticing the ghost of irritation flash through her eyes at my response. It would seem she was expecting someone a bit more enthusiastic.

“Oh, it’s not difficult at all, if that’s what you're wondering,” she replied, quickly recovering her haughty demeanor, “I just need you to find a book for me.”

“Okay then, what is this book you want?”

“It’s called ‘Fingers of the Mountain,’” she told me, placing heavy emphasis on the title that sounded mighty close to reverance, “it is of no use to you, you will not be able to read it. I, however, can, and would very much like to. Go to the ruins of Cloud Top in the Colovian Peaks to the north, find this book, and bring it back to me.”

“Okay, I’ll do my best,” I replied, “I just need to head back inside for a bit and get ready,” I then turned to leave, but was stopped by a sharp grip on my shoulder.

“Whatever you do, do not tell anything about our arrangement to Teekeus. It would be… unhealthy for you if you did,” she told me in a low, dangerous voice before letting me go. I left her side without a single glance backward, hoping she didn’t see the uneasy look on my face.




Screenshots (Click to enlarge):

Welcome to the Colovian Highlands:
http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/835/countychorrolwelcome.jpg

Medieval Morning:
http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/3140/chorrolcity.jpg

Unrelated extra, Moonlit Chapel:
http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/362/moonlitchapel.jpg

Posted by: mALX Jan 23 2011, 02:54 AM

What a wild introduction to the Chorrol Mages Guild! I love the way you displayed the city's reaction to the news, that was hugely immersive and makes much more sense than just one citizen telling another and hearing, "NO!" shouted. Another Great Chapter !!!!

Posted by: haute ecole rider Jan 23 2011, 02:55 AM

TK, I like how this story is developing so far. The main character is getting more and more interesting as we go along.

It's a bit unique to document/witness the reaction of the general populace to the news of Emperor Uriel's death and the assassination of his sons. The BHC certainly came through this time!

Erthor's appearance was a bit of a surprise, since I normally encounter him in Skingrad, not Chorrol. Still, it adds a bit of an interesting background to this character. I presume he got kicked out of the Chorrol chapter and told to head to Skingrad to keep Berene entertained?

Some technical nits:
I'm seeing apostrophe issues. I'll go through them one by one:

QUOTE
The brook marking the county border babbled away beneath the small stone bridge across, it’s speed becoming that of a frenzy having finally been freed of the millpond just northward.

That pesky it's/its! This is a huge tripping stone for many writers (including myself, until I figured it out). It is a word that does not observe the same apostrophe conventions as most words. While the apostrophe is used in many possessive forms (such as Erthor's summons, Teekeus's grumpiness, etc), it does not own an apostrophe in its possessive form. On the other hand, it's is a contraction of it is.


QUOTE
She certainly knows how to get her customer’s mouths watering.
Unless you are writing a crossover between TES and Star Wars, I doubt our dear Talasma has a mutlple-mouthed customer from the infamous cantina on Tatooine. When using the possessive apostrophe for a plural noun, the little dangle goes after the s, as in customers' mouths. For singular nouns (including proper nouns) ending in s, such as Teekeus, the convention is to place a second s after the apostrophe (see Teekeus's grumpiness above).


QUOTE
“Oh, it’s not difficult at all, if that’s what your wondering,”
Your/you're is another little stone that many writers trip over. Your is possessive, as in your goal, while you're is a contraction of you are, as in you're crazy! (I'm using this as an example, not as an opinion of the writer's mental status!) wink.gif


A few words of advice: avoid using spell check and grammar check instead of your own brain and two eyes. Spell check is not context-aware (which may lead to some of the apostrophe issues you're having), and I've seen some substitutions that were crazier than honoured user and loaf of bread. And I have yet to encounter grammar check that was accurate and intelligent. I do have spell check enabled in my writing software, but I use it sparingly, and mostly to highlight questionable words. I still give each piece a thorough proofreading myself, since I catch more errors than any computer ever could.

Overall I like the way this story is heading. I see that you are feeding Acadian - it's something that is bound to make him a very happy reader!

Posted by: Acadian Jan 23 2011, 03:36 AM

Rider was right! You served chow, and here I am - a happy reader! Yum, a wonderful roast boar dinner and a roaring fire. biggrin.gif

I thoroughly enjoyed this story.

Your portrayal of the Emperor's death was very well done, and fitting. The BHC article was a nice touch and also nicely done.

Erthor - now bald - added a nice touch of humor. tongue.gif

And Earana. . . Oh I hope Dere doesn't have to kill her like some other elf did. But you see how cranky, unreasonable and even dangerous she can get? wink.gif

Nit?
“Welcome to the Mages Guild, Associate,” Teekeus said as I handed him back his quill, which he promptly vanished.
I'm gonna guess that you meant the quill vanished, not he (Teekeus). Therefore, it seems the word 'he' should vanish?

Posted by: SubRosa Jan 23 2011, 09:18 PM

Melissa Etheridge Mill? Teresa is going to have to look that place up. biggrin.gif

So was that watchman who gave Derelas directions Nite Owl? the Comedian? Rorschach? wink.gif

Dinner sounds good. Now I need that Homer Simpson mouth-watering emoticon again! http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_PLsyqhMySRk/SQAEc1gln2I/AAAAAAAAA4Q/yZMbWO29pv0/s400/homer_simpson31.jpg

I liked how Dere learned about the Emperor's death. For once the player character was not in the middle of it! That is indeed refreshing to read in an ES fan fic, as usually if the Oblivion Crisis takes place in the fic, the main character is there for the Emp's death (my own included). It is a very pleasant change to see the main character being just a bystander in it all.

btw, you can post inline images here, so you might want to add in the BHC logo to your copy of the newsheet. Just reply to this and copy and paste the code below:

IPB Image

I thought anyone was allowed to join?
This was a nice little dig at the game, where even Bobo the Barbarian can join mages guild, arcane university, and become the Arch Mage.

Erthor's appearance was wonderful! So perfectly timed as well! biggrin.gif

And finally Earana. I did this one with my previous magician - Morrigan - and gave Earana the book. After creating a mod that changed the stats for the Finger of the Mountain spell to make it more useful, it was the only ranged destruction spell that Morrigan used for the rest of the game.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Jan 26 2011, 01:23 AM

@mALX: Thank you.

@haute ecole rider: Glad to see you with us, and that you are enjoying the adventure (well, the start of it at least). Thank you for the proofreading advice, I daresay it helped quite a bit to turn the grammar checker off (though I leave the spellchecker on just in case of typos).

@Acadian: With my culinary training, I think I can safely say there's plenty more delicious reading coming, when the time is right. On the topic of Earana... read on.

Nit be picked.

@SubRosa: If you're wondering, the mill is added by the mod Unique Landscapes: River Ethe, and it's actually to the west of Chorrol in the game, not to the east like I portrayed it. If you are further wondering, Chorrol exists roughly in the area Battlehorn Castle does in this fiction, in the rocky, golden-grassed hinterlands of Cyrodiil. I thought it would fit a bit better for a mountain town, considering I live in one. wink.gif

@all: It is your faithful support that keeps me going and makes me better. I don't think I couldn't have even made it this far without your support, and this story is nowhere even close to done! I have big plans with the overarching plot, and in time, you might catch a glimpse of them. Every event so far will have repercussions later on, remember that.

next: We have irate mages and raving drunkards. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope you will have just as much reading it. smile.gif



Chapter 2-3: The Cloud Top Gambit




Teekeus was not in the lobby when I returned, so I had to grab a seat and wait for him to come back from wherever he went. After about 5 minutes or so, I saw him coming back down the stairs to the lobby. If possible, he looked even grumpier now than he did before, and seemed none too pleased to see me again.

“I trust you’ve spoken to Earana,” he snapped, the hiss in his voice making him sound even more like a rearing serpent than before, “I want her out of town. You won’t be getting into my good books dancing around my hall with your head in your pants.”

Hardly red carpet treatment, what’s gotten beneath his scales?

“Yes, I did speak to her,” I told him, “she wanted me to find a book for her. ‘Fingers of the Mountain’ she said.”

Teekeus nearly exploded when he heard the book’s name, “WHAT?! What else did she tell you?”

“That she wanted to read it and that I could find it someplace called Cloud Top, north of here,” I finished. Teekeus was nearly beside himself when I was done.

“So she knows where it is, too?! This is unacceptable, absolutely unacceptable!” He ranted, more to himself than to anyone else in particular. He then turned back to me, his two elegant fins pinned to his head and shooting daggers from his eyes.

“Go to Cloud Top and find that book,” he hissed, making me recoil from how much he was showing off his needle-like teeth, “do not give it to Earana, whatever you do, she must not be allowed to have it. Bring it back here to me, instead. I need not remind you that handing her that book will forfeit your guild membership. Do I make myself clear?”

“Very,” I bemusedly replied, “but what made you think I was going to help that ice queen in the first place? I know where my loyalties lie.”

“Oh, really?” Teekeus answered, relaxing a bit. “Then I trust you will handle yourself properly if she comes looking for you, because I highly doubt she’s going to let that book slip her grasp lightly. Just do what you must to bring it here, that book is far too dangerous to leave out in the open.”

“Well, I guess I should get going then?”

“Good idea. I’ll let you out the back way, once outside, leave town through the north gate, and try to keep Earana from seeing you. She’s bound to follow you, though, so be ready for her.” Teekeus then reached into the front of his robe, pulled out a scroll of yellowing parchment bound in twine, and handed it to me. “Here, in case you need to make a quick getaway, this scroll will summon a Scamp to your side. It should distract her long enough for you to get some distance between you and her. Can you do that?”

“Sure,” I answered, recalling my birthsign, and the words of a certain figure, “If all else fails, remember to call to Equine for aid. You’ll know when she answers…”

“Good, now get moving.”




----




The sun was beginning to set as I made my way back down the rocky mountain trail after the long, yet uneventful hike to the ruins of Cloud Top. There wasn’t much there apart from a small shrine and a blackened corpse charred to the point where it was impossible to identify the gender. It was a rather grisly sight but thankfully it was too well done to smell, and it was still clutching the book in it’s blackened arms when I arrived. The grand stone walls of Chorrol loomed in the distance now, beckoning my return with the promise of a warm meal, a soft bed, and, of course, another step being taken towards my magical career. But the peace was not to last, for I soon noticed a familiar green dress storming up the trail in my direction.

“Hold it right there!” came the resounding cry of Earana’s voice, “I’m afraid I can’t trust you anymore. I’m here to claim my book.”

“Hmm… I wonder what caused you to double take?” I asked rhetorically, knowing the answer before she even opened her mouth to say it.

“Well, going back inside the guild after we spoke didn’t help your case much,” She sneered. I quickly thrust my hand into my pocket, grasping the scroll Teekeus gave me tightly in my palm, ready to release the Scamp contained within the parchment at a moment’s notice.

“Anyways, that doesn’t matter anymore,” She continued in that grating snide voice, “I have a new deal for you. You give me the book, and I’ll let you walk away from this unharmed. Sound good to you?”

“Surprisingly, no,” I countered, and watched with satisfaction as her disgustingly proud grin slid off her face like molasses on water. “I thought maybe you could do a little dance for me first. By the gods, I could use a good laugh today.”

“Some cheek you’ve got,” she snarled back, her face reddening, “Let’s see how good it does you on the end lightning… AARGH!”

I watched in bemused silence as Earana’s body was thrown face-first to the dirt. As she fell, I noticed a feathered shaft sticking out of a most peculiar place. She did not get up.

“You’re off to a fine start here. Just three days in Cyrodiil and already you’ve made someone want to kill you.”

A female figure emerged from the trees a short ways down the hill, a very familiar Dunmer figure….

“Faith?!” I cried out, “What are you doing here?”

“Now there’s the question of the week,” She replied, grinning, “Mind telling me what you were doing here first?”

“Being threatened by some Altmer witch with her head too high up in the clouds to see reason.” I explained to her. “Nice aim, by the way.”

“Hey, just thought she needed to get some shaft before the end,” She replied, smirking down at the now lifeless body, “Oh, I know what you’re thinking right now, and she won’t be missed. She has a history of violence, this one; murdered a couple people down the way of Bravil. News probably didn’t make it in of that today, what with the assassination; Count Terentius put a bounty on her life a couple days ago.”

“And how do you know that?” I inquired. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful for her help, but it did seem a bit odd that she knew that.

“I’m a forester, I have my ways,” She quickly dismissed my question. Again with the secrets, it would seem, I was beginning to wonder if “forester” was her only profession. “Besides, it was supposed to be in today’s paper. News just got held up due to the Emperor’s death. The Chorrol guard knows about her now; I suspect that’s why she left the city to tail you. We can report her in on the way down.”

“Fair enough,” I replied, relieved that we weren’t facing murder charges for all this. “Anyways, we seem to have lost topic here,” Faith continued, “what were you really doing here?” I proceeded to tell her about Teekeus’ task, Earana’s shady deal, and the book in my pack.

“Fingers of the Mountain?” Faith looked quite unnerved by the time I was finished, “I hope this guy Teekeus realizes he’s put you in terrible danger asking you to do this for him.”

“So it would seem,” I replied, eying Earana, “If this book is really that dangerous, maybe we should stop wasting time here and get it back into town before we lose the sun?”

“Good idea,” Faith answered, pulling her arrow out of Earana’s rear.




----




“Thank the Nine you’ve brought this to me,” came Teekeus’s hissing voice, though he seemed much more relaxed now that I had handed him the book, lending his voice an oddly soothing quality. “I feared what might have happened to you when I saw Earana dash off. I’m glad to see you’re safe.”

“I had a bit of help,” I told him. Faith and I had parted ways once we returned to the city.

“Well, what matters is you’ve brought this wretched book back with you so the Mages Guild can keep it locked away from unsuitable eyes,” Teekeus continued. He then turned to me, and I saw what might have been the lizard-like equivalent of a smile on his face. “You’ve done well, and I’m glad my trust in you was not misplaced. I will provide you the recommendation you desire.”

I thanked him as I handed him my paperwork to sign.

“Now, if you wish to stay here for the night, we have several free beds upstairs,” Teekeus explained to me, “or would you prefer to stay elsewhere?”

“I’ll probably head back to the Oak and Crosier,” I replied, “it’s been a long day, and I’d prefer a quiet rest.”

“Very well,” Teekeus answered, turning away, “Just remember that our beds are always available to our members. But… I would suggest staying elsewhere if you’re planning to go to Skingrad,” he added. I decided it would be better not to ask any further.

As I made my way back to the Oak and Crosier for dinner and bed, I stumbled into a man… or rather, he stumbled into me. Just one whiff of him told me he was extremely drunk. He was dressed in a simple blue and green outfit that was frayed in several places.

“If I tol’ you once, I tol’ ya thousan’ times… I never been to Cheydinha…” he began, but soon after seemed to catch himself. This allowed me to barely recognize the singsong voice of a Breton behind all the slurred, drunken speech. “Wait, wai’ you’re someone else. I’m sorry, my friend, I though’ you was someone else.”

“You should probably go home and get some rest,” I told him. It might have seemed needless, but drunks can be anything but coherent, as this man was quickly proving to me.

“Well, ya’ see, frien’, people have always been comin’ up to me an’ asking ‘Didn’ I see you in Cheydinhal? Didn’t I see you in Deychinhal?’” He continued raving, seeming not to even register I had said anything, “Well, I’m sick o’ it… an’ tired. Tired an’ sick….”

He chose this moment to vomit all over the paving stones.

“…Well, maybe jus’ tired now,” He continued, “Anyways, come over here, got job for ya’.”

I hesitantly took a step closer, cautious should his stomach decide it was dissatisfied with the amount of alcohol inside him once again.

“I wan’ you go to Cheydinhal, tell this man to stop besmirching my good name, I’m quite capable of smebirching my own good name on my own.”

He then pulled a small sack out of his pocket and dropped it at my feet, barely missing his own pile of regurgitation.

“There’s 50 drakes in it for ya’ frien’, now get outta my way, need to go have a nap….”

With that he stumbled off down the street, nearly smacking headlong into a lamppost as he left. He left me wondering who he was and just what might have turned him into such a roaring drunk. Well, at the very least I had my next destination well in hand, and some extra money to get me there.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Jan 26 2011, 02:02 AM

And Faith saves the day!

Honestly I liked how Earana met her end. I just don't know how Julian is going to deal with her when she comes to Chorrol. Ugh.

Anyways, this has got to be my fav line in this chapter:

QUOTE
“I wan’ you go to Cheydinhal, tell this man to stop besmirching my good name, I’m quite capable of smebirching my own good name on my own.”
Drunk speak can be hysterical, and our drunken Jemane nailed it!

Posted by: SubRosa Jan 26 2011, 03:24 AM

what’s gotten beneath his scales?
A wonderful setting-friendly phrase!

So Faith is a bounty hunter who was hunting Earana? Now that is interesting. A neat twist.

I would suggest staying elsewhere if you’re planning to go to Skingrad,
Vigge's fame precedes him! biggrin.gif

“…Well, maybe jus’ tired now.”
laugh.gif Reynald has always been one of my favorite characters in the game. You just made him even more so!


nits:
“Fair enough,” I replied, relieved that we weren’t facing murder charges for all this.
“Anyways, we seem to have lost topic here,” Faith continued, “what were you really doing here?” I proceeded to tell her about Teekeus’ task, Earana’s shady deal, and the book in my pack.


“So it would seem,” I replied, eying Earana, “If this book is really that dangerous, maybe we should stop wasting time here and get it back into town before we lose the sun?”
“Good idea.” Faith answered, pulling her arrow out of Earana’s rear.


You lost the spaces between the twos sets of paragraphs above.

Posted by: Acadian Jan 26 2011, 03:35 AM

Oh that's right! I remember now about your culinary training. TK - Iron Chef Tamriel!! I know where to read to get fed now. Although dear Julian feeds me very well. Oh, and meals with Jerric are great too! Now where was I? Oh yes, great story here! goodjob.gif

“I trust you’ve spoken to Earana,” he snapped, the hiss in his voice making him sound even more like a rearing serpent than before, “I want her out of town. You won’t be getting into my good books dancing around my hall with your head in your pants.”
Hardly red carpet treatment, what’s gotten beneath his scales?

Wonderfully Argonian, this exchange!

I watched in bemused silence as Earana’s body was thrown face-first to the dirt. As she fell, I noticed a feathered shaft sticking out of a most peculiar place. She did not get up.
I can quite assure you that the little elf on my shoulder was cheering and shaking her bow in satisfaction as she read this. biggrin.gif How wonderful that Earana met her end by arrow! I think the way you handled this aspect of the quest was very well done! Faith, you go, girl! Oh, and TK, don't you think for one minute I don't know where Faith got her name wink.gif - it takes one to know one!

But… I would suggest staying elsewhere if you’re planning to go to Skingrad
Oh noes. Not more reminders of the musical (ugh) beds in Skingrad! nono.gif

Ahah. So it seems that Shaydinhole Chernobyl, Chedderbowl? - oh, you know what I mean is the next recommendation with a little drunken mystery to boot! tongue.gif


Posted by: mALX Jan 29 2011, 03:51 AM

GAAAAH !!!! How did I miss that you had posted a new chapter ?????? You did an Awesome job of personalizing that quest, all while adding the mystery of Faith's presence and knowledge - almost seems like she is following Derelas (or am I thinking of Victor and the Courier? Lol).

Evil or not - I always deal with Earana to get that spell from her, either before or after the Mages Guild gets the book. It is an Awesome spell, and the danger of facing the lightning bolt to get it makes it more fun, lol.


Fingers on he Mountain:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmGUQZCAkx0


Awesome Chapter!!! Leaves a nagging feeling we haven't seen the last of Faith - and that her role is much more complex than originally thought. Great Write !!

Posted by: Grits Jan 30 2011, 04:33 AM

I love the humor! Your Reynald is even more hilarious than the game makes him, and who doesn’t enjoy a good vomit joke? laugh.gif Earana’s ‘end’ was quite satisfying. Dinner at the Oak and Crosier has my mouth watering. I’m looking forward to reading more of your story!

Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 30 2011, 05:01 PM

I'm a late comer to the story, but now I'm on the same page as evryone else. This is a great story so far. goodjob.gif

The sinister beginning of Chapter 1 was a real "reader grabber"!

I really like the way you have tweaked the Mage's Guild initiation, giving both the enrollment and recommendation rituals nice touches that were very plausable.

Can't wait for more...

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Jan 30 2011, 06:57 PM

@haute ecole rider: Isn't it fun writing drunk speak? I was hoping that Faith's intervention would help to build her into a more likable figure, I'm glad it worked out. smile.gif

@SubRosa: Assumptions already? Tut tut, Sage Rosa, you barely know the gal! nono.gif

It appears that my word processor and these boards still have a few differences to work out. Thanks for picking those up.

@Acadian: Buffy's happy, and that means worlds to me. smile.gif We won't be going to the city starting with C immediately, however. I've got plenty of room for some character building on the week-long journey. wink.gif

@mALX: Well, giving the book to Earana just isn't in my character's... well... character. Rest assured, the book and the knowledge it contains will return eventually.

@Grits: Want a good vomit joke? Search for the Mr. Creosote Monty Python sketch. That's classic gross-out humor. laugh.gif wacko.gif

@TheOtherRick: Welcome! Glad you're enjoying yourself!

@all: The next chapter was supposed to be presented all in one, but when I did my pre-post word count I discovered it was almost 4000 words long! That's a bit lengthy, so I've decided to split the chapter in two. This is the first part.

next: Derelas leaves Chorrol, and gets a sobering welcome to life as a traveller.



Chapter 3-1: ‘Til Death Do Us Part



“Who, Reynald Jemane? He doesn’t do much else around here except drink his life away at the Gray Mare, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

It was morning once again, and I had sparked a quick chat with Talasma over the strange drunk who confronted me the evening before. She didn’t look too happy to be talking about him; the moment I mentioned him her ears drooped and her hackles raised slightly, but I highly doubted I would be able to find this “besmircher of good names” if I didn’t know whose good name to look for.

“Sorry, I didn’t know he wasn’t that popular around here,” I replied, hoping it would ease her irritated tone, “he just ran into me yesterday and told me about someone impersonating him in Cheydinhal or something.”

“Well, This One wouldn’t put much by anything he does tell you,” Talasma continued with a grimace, “half the time he doesn’t even know what’s coming out of his mouth if he’s not redecorating the cobblestones. Why even bother thinking about it?”

“I have a bit of business in Cheydinhal, myself,” I answered, though I had to admit Talasma had a point, “wouldn’t hurt to take a look around.”

“Probably not,” Talasma replied, “in fact, This One has heard a few customers talking about seeing someone who looked a lot like Reynald, only with longer hair and sober, if that helps any.”

“He didn’t tell me much else about him, so all help is welcome right now,” I answered, leaving a drake on the table. “Anyways, I best be off if I want to make Odiil by sundown. Thanks for the k’lah.”




----




The golden rocks of the hinterlands had been all but hidden away by the sea of trees, welcoming me back to the Great Forest. Gargantuan redwoods rose to touch the very heavens, while diminutive saplings were latched in a tense battle for whatever sunlight they could scrounge. Every so often the ocean of green was broken by the yellowing leaves of autumn, adding a painter’s touch to the scene. A cool breeze rustled its way through the canopy, sending the treetops dancing in its joyful bluster. The faint, playful trilling of finches and robins completed the natural symphony.

As I continued my journey back to Weye, where I would then cross the Imperial Isle to reach Cheydinhal, I returned to the immense ruins of an old keep I had passed on the way to Chorrol. If I remembered correctly, it was named Fort Ash. It rose from the ground with the forest, masquerading as the colossal trunk of a long petrified ancient oak. As I approached the grand archway spanning the road, I noticed the bushes rustling to my left.

I turned to investigate, when suddenly a familiar Khajiit clad in hardened furs burst from the leaves, mace drawn and held high.

“I told you this wasn’t over, tree-hugger! Prepare to die!”

I barely had enough time to draw my blade before he brought his mace downward, aiming for my head. I quickly dived out of the way, using my empty hand to form my body into a wheel as I rolled. I quickly regained my footing and turned to face my assailant, who was charging me again. This time he brought his mace upwards from a low swing, once again aiming for my head…

I crouched down, letting his mace fly over my head and his momentum carry him further forward. I then swung for his heel, and felt my blade bite into his flesh. Blood spurted all along the paving stones as his leg gave out, sending him crashing to his knees beside me. I could have let him be then, just left him crippled and ran, he obviously wouldn’t be able to follow, but a strange feeling was flowing through me. I felt invigorated, as if some part of me buried deep down had been awakened, something primal. I could not control myself, in a single movement, I stood, brought my blade to his throat, and pulled….

I felt my blade leave my hand, listening to it clatter to the ground. He was dead, and I killed him. I slowly backed away from the body, whose blood was now flowing between the cracks in the stones in a visceral dance. It felt as if a portion of my mind had been cleaved nearly in two. One side was so utterly appalled at what I had done that it wanted me to run into a corner, huddle up, and cry until my tears ran dry. The other was rearing, screaming approval. I collapsed to the ground, unable to figure myself out. Should I be disgusted, or ecstatic?

He was trying to kill you, you know, he told you himself, I heard a nagging voice in the back of my head reply to my unvoiced question. He chose his fate, you simply showed him the way.

Doesn’t change that I killed him, I rebutted.

What can? He died so you could live. Nothing you can do about that now.

He didn’t have to die, you know, I could’ve just scampered when I got his leg.

He would be back, then, too. They’re always back sooner or later.

And he also might have learned his lesson, you can’t know that.

You did what you had to. No point in arguing that, it’s done. You can’t go back. If you’re worried about the law, don’t be. He attacked you, you defended yourself, you have your rights.

“No, I’m worried that you’re sending me down the wrong path,” my voice rang through the trees, splitting open the deafening silence following the brief battle.

First sign of madness, talking to yourself, much less arguing with yourself. Just move on, you’ll find it easier to understand soon enough.

And how is that, exactly? What’s to understand, that I’ve got blood on my hands I can never scrub off?

No, just that you need to be prepared for what this world has in store for you. Remember what dad said? Tamriel is not a pretty place, better you get used to death now with no one else to hound you than when you’ve got three bandits just itching to steal your coin and willing to kill you trying.

Great, I really am talking to myself. I sure hope the gods will forgive me for my moment of crazy.

A house divided is hardly crazy. You just need some time to digest, to pick up the pieces. You’ve always had this in you, it was only today that you first let your instincts loose. Give it time, you’ll come to grips.

Fine, if it means I won’t have to make anyone think I’m going schizophrenic, I’ll listen. Might as well get the body off the road, I’m quite sure the are not many travelers out there who would enjoy discovering a rotting half-lion in the middle of the pathway. Once I moved him off to the grass on the side, I quickly checked his pockets, and pulled out several small sacks of drakes with a couple septims thrown in here and there. I placed a drake on his mouth to let the Watch know he was an outlaw and left the scene. As I passed beneath the old ruins, I felt strangely more vulnerable than I did half an hour ago.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Jan 30 2011, 08:02 PM

And here comes the Highwayman again!

At least you fixed him this time. He won't be shouting "Today you die!" anymore. wink.gif

I did spot a couple of nits. Really, one nit repeated twice:

QUOTE
but I highly doubted I would be able to find this “besmircher of good names” if I didn’t know who’s good name to look for.

QUOTE
I slowly backed away from the body, who’s blood was now flowing between the cracks in the stones in a visceral dance.

It's another confusing term. Who's is the contraction of who is, while the term you want in this context is whose. Correct usage of the two forms would be as follows:
Who's crazy enough to try this?
Whose idiotic idea was that?

Hope it clarifies things for you a bit!

Posted by: SubRosa Jan 30 2011, 08:20 PM

if he’s not redecorating the cobblestones.
Ewwww!

So Derelas has taken his first life. You show his conscience very well in his internal monologue afterward. It also looks like he is not alone inside his head. Somehow I doubt he is your run of the mill crazy person though. Given that this is a fantasy setting, having a spirit companion is not very far-fetched at all. If that is indeed what the other voice is.

A very neat bit of world-building, leaving the coin in the bandit's mouth afterward.

Posted by: mALX Jan 30 2011, 10:23 PM

This chapter was HUGE in detail and emotions. The descriptions were awesome, but best of all I loved the detail of leaving the coin on his mouth as a sign for the Legion. AWESOME detail !!!

Derelas's reaction on his first killing - deeply realistic. You do what you have to for survival, but that doesn't make it easier to live with. (having a son that served three tours in Iraq - I know this emotion well, have seen it firsthand in my son).

AWESOME Chapter !!!

Posted by: Acadian Jan 31 2011, 03:38 AM

I very much enjoyed this!

'the moment I mentioned him her ears drooped and her hackles raised slightly,'
How naturally you incorporated this Khajiit-specific description!

The golden rocks of the hinterlands had been all but hidden away by the sea of trees, welcoming me back to the Great Forest. Gargantuan redwoods rose to touch the very heavens, while diminutive saplings were latched in a tense battle for whatever sunlight they could scrounge. Every so often the ocean of green was broken by the yellowing leaves of autumn, adding a painter’s touch to the scene. A cool breeze rustled its way through the canopy, sending the treetops dancing in its joyful bluster. The faint, playful trilling of finches and robins completed the natural symphony.
*Contented sigh* A symphony to make any wood elf glad to be a wood elf! And such a stark contrast with the mortal fight that followed.

I echo the wise readers above in praising how you handled Derelas' reaction to killing the highwayman. If it helps, I'm glad he didn't leave the varmint alive to terrorize more travelers.

Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 1 2011, 01:36 AM

Great stuff!

I like the way the fight scene played out. First he fights the bandit and then himself afterward. A glimpse into an ongoing theme perhaps? goodjob.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 2 2011, 08:36 PM

@haute ecole rider: Well, you knew he had to die sometime, didn't you? This is a TES fanfic, after all, wouldn't be one without the merciless slaughtering of outlaws. Well, maybe not so merciless here, but you get the idea.

@SubRosa: No, he is not your run-of-the-mill crazy person, he's just a little divided right now, for obvious reasons. The internal monologue was meant to emphasize this. We will eventually figure out who is talking to him (and before you ask, no it is not a Paladin). wink.gif

@mALX: As the undisputed master of emotions, this means a lot to me coming from you. I'm glad I managed to convey how dramatic a change one's life can make when they take another. I try to avoid death as much as I can here, but occasionally, you just have to take it, and I need to be certain Dere takes it in stride.

@Acadian: Think of that segment as my little way of discussing how death is so easily brushed off in TES, especially Oblivion. This will be a recurring theme throughout the story, dramatic character changes brought on by notable deaths.

@TheOtherRick: I answered your question in the above reply, but will say it again. Notable deaths (and you will know when they happen) will bring about dramatic character changes throughout the story. This was the first, and definitely not the last.

@all: We now enter part 2 of chapter 3, in which Dere's internal conflict continues as he struggles to find a way to deal with his guilty conscience. Will he find an outlet? Read on to find out...

next: We're back in Weye, and about to partake in a couple TES rites of passage.


Chapter 3-2: Red Wine with Fish


The remainder of my journey back to Weye was troubled by sleepless nights. Images of blood spilling from furry necks and flashing blades sauntered through my dreaming mind, making my every attempt to find peace in slumber seem quite foolish. No doubt this was because my soul was in turmoil now that I joined the ranks of the life-takers. My waking hours in Wawnet were as miserable as ever, I again found no peace in my rest, and that haunting red-eyed figure was also beginning to creep his way back into my dreams. The weather matched my mood with a dreary, cloudy day that all but promised rain.

I felt in need of a bit of fresh air, so I made my way outside into the chilly, dreary late morning air. I had been staring out towards the depths of the Lake Rumare for over an hour and had started drizzling lightly when I turned to go back inside when I noticed another person was matching me. It was the old balding fisherman I saw limping back to his hut as I was leaving for Chorrol. He was sitting on an old wooden stool, staring out to the iron-gray waters with that same empty look in his eyes that I knew I was sharing. I moved over to join him.

“You know, stranger,” he began to speak to me when I had come to a stop beside him, though he had not followed my progress or even seemed to notice I was there, “you look like someone who knows what it’s like to have lost a fight. Well, I’ve fought and I’ve lost.”

Despite the questions I had for him, I decided it would be best, and more polite, just to let him finish.

“You see, everyone has their grand enemies, their demons, that try as they might, they just can’t defeat. ‘And who was my great enemy’ you might ask? Well don’t laugh,” he sighed deeply, “it was a bunch of damn fish.”

“I’m not laughing.” I quickly replied, “I saw the fish you caught. One bite from their mouths could cut down a tree.”

“Well, that’s noble of ya,” the fisherman answered back, and it cheered me up a bit to see a bit of depression leave his face. “Everyone else would just guffaw at my face when I told them.”

“So why tell me? You didn’t know if I would do the same.”

“I already told ya, you looked like someone who knew what it was like to lose a fight.”

“Well, actually, I’m just fighting a guilty conscience right now,” I answered simply.

“Oh,” the fisherman replied, looking crestfallen, “right.” He then turned away, back to staring out over the lake. Way to go, Dere, someone was looking for reaffirmation that he wasn’t alone in his misery and you just told him up front you weren’t the right kind of guy. Now that you’ve just shown the world how not to do it, maybe you might find it in your blackening, murderous heart to help the poor guy?

“What do you need help with?” I suddenly voiced. I hadn’t meant to speak yet, but I was just happy to at least try and salvage the situation. The fisherman was a bit taken aback by the sudden response, but seemed a bit less depressed nonetheless.

“You’d help an old man find some peace? That’s mighty kind of ya’,” He replied, “Name’s Aelwin Merowald, by the way.”

“Derelas,” I returned, “So, umm… is there anything I can help you out with? Something to make you feel better?” Something to make me feel better, I finished inside my head.

“Well, if you would, I was tryin’ to catch Rumare Slaughterfish for this young alchemist down the way of Skingrad,” Aelwin began, “he was payin’ me a shiny septim for their scales, see? And it was going so well until last week, when one of those bloody things damn near took my leg off.

“Anyways,” he continued, “I only needed a couple more of the buggers before I would’ve had enough saved up to retire, but I can’t well fish on this bum leg o’ mine, now can I?”

“So you’d like it if I could go and catch the rest,” I finished.

“Aye, that’d be mighty decent of ya’,” Aelwin replied, the shadow of a smile crossing his grim features, “I only need about two or three more and I can scale ‘em myself, so I just need ya’ to catch ‘em. Lemme show ya’ to my fishing gear, then I’ll meet you down by the lakeshore. I may not be able to fish, but at least I can still walk.”




----




“Thank you so much. Let it never be said there are no kind souls in the world.”

I had instantly regretted offering my help when I pulled the first fish out of the water. By the Gods, was that net made of steel for a good reason! The fish was huge, and I if I wasn’t so engrossed in getting that thing tossed on the beach and imprisoned in the steel net, I would have been wondering how it managed to fit all those dagger-sized teeth into that maw. My own legs came mighty close to meeting the same fate as Aelwin’s several times, and my forearms now bore many scratches and cuts from the nashing teeth. My hands were caked in blood from the bait, as well; by the arduous smell I decided it was some form of rotting venison. I don’t think it would be possible to express how relieved I was by the time it was all over. I sure do hope Aelwin appreciates the effort I put into getting him these two miniature sharks.

“Will that be enough? It’s getting a bit late.” I inquired, dipping my hands into the frigid lake water to wash the blood off.

“Aye, that’ll be plenty,” Aelwin replied, “I’ll scale ‘em here, don’t want to make a mess in the village, or stink it up, for that matter. Anyways, come on over here, I got something for you.”

I obliged his request, curious as to what he had in store for me. Once I was close enough, he reached into his pocket and pulled out… a ring.

“I want you to have this,” He told me, handing me the glinting silver band. On closer inspection, I saw it had a sapphire jewel cut to the shape of a drop of water. “This was a good luck charm o’ mine. I don’t have much need for it anymore, seeing as my fishing days are done, so I might as well give it to you. My way of saying thanks for all your help.”

“You’re quite welcome,” I replied, surprised and slightly moved that he wasn’t expecting me to help him out of the kindness of my heart. It was just enough to drive me to put it on. “Thank you for your generous gift. You sure you can make it back on your own?”

“Don’t mention it,” Aelwin said, “and don’t worry about me, I know my way home, and I’m not taking the fish with me anyways. Speaking of which, you are welcome inside any time, friend. I hope I’ll see you again someday.”

“As do I,” I said as a way of good-bye. I couldn’t turn my eyes away from the jewel that now rested on my finger. Helping that poor man and seeing the bright, happy look on his face at the end had given me solace. I felt more whole, as opposed to the last several days when I was as divided as any man could be. I’m doubtful I would ever be that kind of innocent again now that I had tasted blood, but it did make me feel much better knowing I still meant well.

“Well, don’t you seem awfully chipper,” I was greeted by the Wawnet publican as I returned inside. It was much quieter tonight than it was when I was last here, there were only two tables taken, and only one had more than one tankard in front of them. “When you arrived last night, you were a right mess of emotions. Glad to see you found a way to let them out, it’s not healthy to keep them all bottled up like that.”

“So am I,” I responded, taking a seat at the bar so that I could continue speaking with her.

“Well, anyways, what can I get you tonight?”

“Same as last night, I think.”

The publican quickly busied herself with the cooking fire. I noticed her movements were well practiced and quite graceful, as if she were dancing with the flames.

“I know you must get this a lot, but you are quite a beautiful woman,” I couldn’t help myself but to say. Her golden-skinned neck turned slightly pinker in response.

“Well, you’re definitely not the first to say that, but you certainly are the first to say so politely,” she replied, flashing a small smile my way. “Most of the time, all I get is ‘baby, you’re not the only thing that’s tall in here right now…’”

“And don’t you forget that!” Came a drunken shout from behind me, followed by roaring laughter. The publican shook her head without even looking back at them.

“Ingrates,” she muttered reproachfully, “well, as I was saying, it is nice to hear that from an honorable, sober person from time to time.”

“How do you live with it?” I inquired.

“I learned a long time ago,” she replied, but chose not to say any more. Her answer didn’t surprise me one bit, I’ve learned that plenty of women like their secrets.

She handed me my plate of braised veal shank “Osso Bucco” and waited for me to take my first bite before continuing.

“I’m Nerussa,” she told me as she returned to wiping down goblets and tankards.

“Derelas,” I returned, “this is very good, by the way.”

“Thank you,” she replied, “would you like a goblet of wine with that? It blends quite well with the Surilie Merlot 421 and Tamika’s Vintage Cabernet 407.”

“Well, you seem to know your wines,” I answered. I wasn’t expecting that a small town inn would carry such a wide, and expensive, range. “I’m not sure I could afford those right now, unfortunately.”

“Well, at least have a taste,” she encouraged, placing a clay goblet next to my plate and showing me one of the bottles, “that’s only a couple drakes.”

Okay, then, I’ll bite. I responded in affirmation, leaving the silver on the bar. She quickly scooped the coins away and uncorked the Surilie bottle with such well practiced movements I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had done it all her life. She then poured a small amount into the goblet, and handed it to me. I gave the goblet a quick stir, allowing the smoky aroma to escape, and brought it to my lips…

The subtleties of black cherries and a hint of olive danced across my palate, invigorating the flavors of tomato and onion and bringing all the delicate nuances of the rich sauce to the tip of my tongue. This was contrasted by the bold plum of the Tamika’s, which also contained a strange k’lah-like flavor, but tangier and richer, and that wine caused all the delicate flavors of the meat to explode through their natural veils and left my palate with a rich, invigorated feeling like nothing I could ever describe.

“Pretty good?” Nerussa asked, grinning with satisfaction and curiosity.

“Words can’t even to describe them,” I replied, “What was that flavor in the Tamika’s? I’ve never tasted anything quite like it before.”

“Ahh, yes, you and a lot of other people,” Nerussa answered, recorking the bottles and putting them back beneath the bar, “it’s cocoa. It comes from Summerset, and costs quite a sum to export, so you would be looking at a Septim a goblet for that one.”

I nearly gagged on my food when I heard the cost.

“Seriously?”

“The bottle itself is worth five,” she filled in, sending my head reeling.

“Wow, you really do love your wine,” I nearly stammered, it took a lot more effort to keep my voice straight than I thought it would.

“Well, I guess you could say that,” Nerussa replied airily, then her gaze quickly shifted behind me. “Alright, you three have had QUITE enough!” She shouted, making me jump.

Her words were met by a raucous whooping, and I turned around to see one of the guests was dancing around on the table minus his shirt, scattering plates and tankards all over the floor. I would hazard a guess that he was thinking that he was showing off his manliness to Nerussa, but it was hard to tell. I then noticed movement in the corner of my eye and saw a muscular Imperial in dark clothes march up to the table and direct the guests out.

“I didn’t see that guy last time I was here,” I told Nerussa, hoping she might shed some light on him.

“Oh, he’s my new bouncer,” she answered, turning back to cleaning her dishes, “It was actually that fight you witnessed that told me I needed one, so there you go. He’s helped quite a bit with getting some of the guests here under control, but you still get people like them from time to time.”

“I see,” I acknowledged before swinging the topic back, “so you were saying that you loved wine?”

“Oh, yes, I do,” she said, a faint blush creeping into her full cheeks, “I’ve held a burning passion for wine all my life. Ever since I opened the inn here, it’s nearly all I’ve been spending my earnings on. I have almost every wine you could imagine right here under this roof, including some classics that date all the way back to the Interregnum. But there’s one kind that’s always eluded me no matter how hard I looked.”

“And which was that?” I asked, my curiosity once again perked.

“It’s an ancient vintage called Shadowbanish. It’s incredibly rare because the vintner only produced one small batch before they disappeared. No one knows what happened to the vineyard, but a few bottles of Shadowbanish are rumored to still exist, and I’ve been dying to get my hands on some.”

“Well, I am planning on a lot of traveling in the near future,” I mused aloud, finishing the last of my dinner, “so I’ll be sure to remember you if I find some.”

“You would do that? You barely even know me,” Nerussa replied bemusedly, making me realize she had been talking more to herself than anyone else. She quickly recovered her poise, though, and gave me a stunning smile in response.

“You are very kind to offer. If you do find some, I would pay you handsomely for each bottle you find.”

I smiled back, but couldn’t really say much else but thank her for the meal and her time before I retired upstairs; the look on her face had stolen all the words from my tongue. Once I shut the door, I fell to the bed with an elated feeling in my heart, like I had finally found myself again.

That’s the spirit, the familiar nagging voice of my subconscious replied. This gave me another, stranger feeling that soon, we were going to become very close.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 2 2011, 09:08 PM

QUOTE
“Most of the time, all I get is ‘baby, you’re not the only thing that’s tall in here right now…’”

“And don’t you forget that!” Came a drunken shout from behind me, followed by roaring laughter. The publican shook her head without even looking back at them.

blink.gif tongue.gif laugh.gif rollinglaugh.gif

A nice summation of the Go Fish quest. Deciding which quests you want to skim over and which ones you want to make your own is an ongoing challenge, and I think you did well with this. The segue into the Shadowbanish quest was so smoothly done, I found myself enjoying this version of Nerussa as much as the Nerussa of the TF!

QUOTE
This gave me another, stranger feeling that soon, we were going to become very close.
I've noticed that my female PC's get that from female NPC's all the time! WTF? blink.gif

Posted by: mALX Feb 2 2011, 09:54 PM

WOO HOO! Acadian is going to have a field day with all the descriptive meals in your story!!

Your attention to detail and description gave this chapter such an immersive feel! Awesome write!! Dere has so much depth as a character, the reader is left with a lingering sensation of his mood and emotions at the end of each chapter. You have a knack for writing memorable characters that matches SubRosa's, and I love how you have portrayed Nerussa! Hugely satisfying chapter !!

Posted by: SubRosa Feb 2 2011, 10:03 PM

Something to make me feel better, I finished inside my head.
Very well put! Often acts of altruism are just attempts to assuage a guilty conscience.

I only need about two or three more and I can scale ‘em myself
That's all! That lousy fetcher made me get him twelve! laugh.gif

I noticed her movements were well practiced and quite graceful, as if she were dancing with the flames.
This was well put!

including some classics that date all the way back to the Interregnum
What's this, a bottle of 400 year old Flin that Pappy has not yet stolen! biggrin.gif

All in all a good, relatively quiet episode where Derelas can get himself back on an even keel once more.

nits:
“Stellar{,} can’t even to describe them,”
I think you meant for a comma where I inserted one above.

Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 2 2011, 10:28 PM

Most of what I would say has already been said, but at the risk of repeating....what an excellent job of having Dere deal with his guilt.

Great installment! goodjob.gif

Posted by: Acadian Feb 3 2011, 01:52 AM

A wonderful set up for both these quests, making it perfectly natural that Derelas would want to do them both.

'The subtleties of black cherries and a hint of olive danced across my palate, invigorating the flavors of tomato and onion and bringing all the delicate nuances of the rich sauce to the tip of my tongue. This was contrasted by the bold plum of the Tamika’s, which also contained a strange k’lah-like flavor, but tangier and richer, and that wine caused all the delicate flavors of the meat to explode through their natural veils and left my palate with a rich, invigorated feeling like nothing I could ever describe.'
Methinks TK has been talking to Derelas about all his quilliarie culonary, kwilinery, um chow expertise! Yum! tongue.gif

Very nice job with Nerussa and, as said above, delightful segue into her quest.

Fun to read and tells us more about Derelas. goodjob.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 6 2011, 03:57 AM

@naughty haute: The main reason I skimmed over the quest in the fic is the same reason I skimmed over it in the game. How could I possibly explain fishing in the form of waving a sharp metal stick at a swimming mouth of teeth while underwater? The quest made absolutely no sense at all, therefore I hook into it, I make it done, I briefly explain how, and that's that.

@mALX: Kind words indeed! Thank you for that! smile.gif

@SubRosa: Better make sure Pappy isn't reading this, then. biggrin.gif
As for your nit, there was never supposed to be a comma in that sentence, so I've reworded it slightly to make that seem more apparent.

@TheOtherRick: Thank you.

@Acadian: How would you like my personal Osso Bucco recipe? (sent you a PM). Quill-canary is my specialty, after all! tongue.gif

@all: as you may have noticed, now that I have set up the main characters and made you like them, things are getting darker now. This will continue, as this story is planned to follow a basic three-act arc.

next:We arrive at the Cheydinhal guild, and deal with a certain corrupted magister...



Chapter 3-3: Falcar



“Yes, is there some astoundingly important reason for you to waste my time, Associate?”

The venom in the Altmer’s voice was palpable. I had finally arrived in Cheydinhal after four more days on the road. I was tired, my feet ached, and so did my back from lugging this rucksack around. The last thing I needed right now was another Altmer so full of himself that if he took one more breath of hot air he’d be floating.

“Sorry to intrude, Magister, I just wanted to ask if you have any Recommendation tasks available,” I replied, struggling to keep my bubbling temper under control.

You?” The Magister scoffed, “If I were to give Recommendations to just anyone, some worthless Associate like yourself could go and blow up the Arena! What makes you think you’re worthy of a recommendation from me?” His words stung, and I now found myself fighting a strong urge to put my fist into his overbearing face.

“Falcar!” A voice cried out indignantly, carrying the telltale hiss of Argonian. The Altmer in front of me then shut his eyes tightly in exasperation.

“Fine,” He then answered, opening his eyes, “because Deetsan is so insistent, I might have something for you. I need you to go round the back of the guild hall and retrieve a ring of mine from inside the well.”

“How did it get down there?” I asked.

“You are talking when I am talking, Associate; do I look like I have time to deal with your insipid queries? Just bring that ring back, and I’ll consider your request.”

Why did I find that so hard to believe? Was it the excessively self-righteous attitude, or perhaps that he seemed to treat everyone around him as a noble would a beggar? It was hard for me to tell, but what I did know was that I didn’t last five minutes with this guy without coming to hate his guts. Perhaps he would warm up in the end, though, like Teekeus did? I figured it was worth a shot.

“Ah, you’re learning, good,” Falcar’s gratingly proud voice shook me out of my thoughts. Apparently he had confused my silence for assent, which only served to make me dislike him even more. “Now, since Deetsan seems to have taken a fancy to you, she’ll provide you with whatever assistance you may need. Now leave me be, I have far more important things to do than chat with you right now.” With that, he turned on his heel and disappeared through the basement door.

Deetsan, as it turned out, was indeed Argonian. She had a look in her eyes I could just make out to be concern, and perhaps a fleck of anger, as I walked over to the small desk she was sitting at.

“I’m sorry you had to be welcomed to our guild that way, Associate. Falcar can be quite unfriendly to our newer members at times,” she explained to me, gesturing to a chair beside her.

“I noticed,” I replied, taking the empty seat before continuing, “he said you’d be able to help me with his task.”

“It depends on what he told you to do,” Deetsan answered. I proceeded to explain his request.

“…so, I don’t really know why he thinks I would need any help for that, but…”

“Stop,” Deetsan’s hissing voice broke the air like a cracking whip, but it was not a low hiss of anger… it was high-pitched. Was that fear? “Don’t tell me he gave you the same task he gave Vidkun!”

“What? What happened to Vidkin?” I asked. This was getting more and more ominous with every passing minute. When I first entered the guild hall the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Deetsan also looked genuinely afraid in the brief glance I caught of her after her outburst over Falcar’s bullying me. I already knew very well that he preferred the iron fist approach to running things, but there was something else to him, something that made my neck hairs stand on end whenever I looked at him.

“Nobody knows,” Deetsan replied to my question, “All we do know is that Falcar asked him to do the same thing he just asked you to do, and we never saw him again.”

“So I take it I should be extra careful when investigating that well?”

“No, I’m suggesting you don’t do anything, at least, not until I’ve spoken to Falcar,” Deetsan replied heatedly. “The risk to your life is too great.”

I had to admit, she had a point. If the task I had now resulted in the disappearance of another mage, it might not be a very good idea to just jump into that well and go searching for the ring.

“Hang on…” Deetsan suddenly chimed, “let me see that ring on your finger.”

“What, this?” I asked pulling off the silver ring Aelwin gave me, “It was a gift from a fisherman down the way of Weye. What’s so important about it?”

Deetsan didn’t reply immediately, she was deeply concentrated on the ring… which I noticed was now glowing. There must be more to the thing than being just a simple memento. When Deetsan finally looked back up at me, she wore an expression of shocked amazement.

“Why didn’t you tell me this ring allows you to breathe underwater?” She inquired indignantly.

“Seriously? I didn’t know anything about that, how did you find out?”

“I’m Argonian, I know my water breathing quite well,” Deetsan replied, handing the ring back to me. “Well, this changes everything. I’m going to go have a chat with Falcar over how he treated you. Since there’s no danger to you down in that well anymore, I’d like you to go down there and investigate.” She then reached into her pocket, pulled a small key off of a key ring, and handed it to me. “If you find the ring, please bring it back, and if you find Vidkun…” she turned away, a very uneasy look in her eye, “… just let me know, okay?”




----




Okay, Deetsan, just be calm, keep a straight head, and everything will be fine… I think.

Deetsan had pondered everything she wished to say down to the last word on her way downstairs, so why did she now find it so difficult to knock on his door? Every time she tried to stand up to him, her courage faltered every single time she reached this very spot, and it was now, too.

Stay calm, keep your scales straight.

But what will he do to me when he finds out what I want to say? It wouldn’t be the first time he exploded, and there’s no doubt he will now.

Courage, Deetsan, remember courage. Your conviction cannot be shattered by his fists.

Okay, I’m ready now, she thought. She moved her fist over the door, and rapped it thrice.

“I do hope this is important enough to be worth your interruption…” Falcar’s voice rang through the cracks in the wooden paneling of the doorframe as his footsteps grew closer. The force with which he threw it open nearly made her flinch, but Deetsan quickly recovered herself.

“Oh, it’s you,” Falcar stated bluntly, but looking no less irritated, “well, what is it?”

“You treated that poor Associate back there very roughly, just now,” Deetsan began, hoping to the Gods that he would not notice the rehearsed quality of her voice.

“So?” Falcar countered, “They need to be set off on the right foot, you know. Being a member of this guild is no small matter.”

“Yes, but…” Deetsan tried to begin, but Falcar quickly cut her off.

“That is all,” Falcar concluded, waving his hand in dismissal. “If this is all you wish to discuss, it’s not worth my time.”

“Well then make it worth your time,” Deetsan boldly replied, her voice now a low hiss of anger. “You are driving people away from us with your attitude…” she had a lot more to say at this point, but Falcar quickly cut her off.

“Now you listen here,” he said, his voice rising, “I’m am the Magister here, so what I say goes! I don’t give scamp’s claw what you think, I’ll run this place the way I see fit; clear?!”

“Well, turns out I do have a problem with your leadership,” Deetsan argued back, abandoning pretence and allowing the many years of seething hatred for this overbearing dictator to come forth, “Why is it you punish anyone who sets one toe out of line as severely as you do?! Why do you persistently ignore the needs of our lesser members, who are the very life blood of this guild?!”

“BE SILENT!” Falcar roared, “I will not tolerate such behavior under my watch! Leave now, and hope I don’t have you thrown out of this guild for good!”

“You should have reported Vidkun’s disappearance to the council, you monster,” Deetsan found her voice was shaking now, “I should’ve turned you in the moment you tried to pretend it never happened.”

Falcar proceeded to turn very red. “Oh, I see…” Falcar began, his voice crackling with electricity, “…so you are going play it that way, then.”

He then silently walked up to Deetsan… and slammed his fist into her chest.

“YOU… INSOLENT… LITTLE… TADPOLE!” He raged, accenting every word with as strong a punch as he could muster. “You have no idea what you are getting yourself into! Your precious Guild will not stand to see the light of day without me! You’re days are numbered, you know!”

He then threw the winded and utterly shocked Argonian to the ground, “You have no idea what you’ve just unleashed, mark my words!” With that, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He left Deetsan on the floor clutching her stomach, breathing heavily, and her face shining with tears.

Posted by: mALX Feb 6 2011, 04:37 AM

QUOTE

You?” The Magister scoffed, “If I were to give Recommendations to just anyone, some worthless Associate like yourself could go and blow up the Arena!


SPEW !!!! How could I not love THAT line?? AWESOME the way you slid that in there !!!


QUOTE

I’m Argonian, I know my water breathing quite well,” Deetsan replied, handing the ring back to me


How perfect a detail that is - and apropos !!!



QUOTE

Stay calm, keep your scales straight.



ROFL !!!



OMG ... WHEW! I couldn't breathe while reading the last three paragraphs!!! That was so powerfully done that it left me shaken!!! HUGE ending, Thomas Kaira - Huge, Awesome write !!!


Posted by: Acadian Feb 6 2011, 04:55 AM

Two distinct scenes, and both very enjoyable.

* Scene 1

“If I were to give Recommendations to just anyone, some worthless Associate like yourself could go and blow up the Arena!'
No worries. I think he is referring only to she-Khajiit. . . with white fur and red hair. . . . wink.gif

“Falcar!” A voice cried out indignantly, carrying the telltale hiss of Argonian. The Altmer in front of me then shut his eyes tightly in exasperation.'
I found this wonderful, and so easy to visualize Falcar closing his eyes.

“I’m Argonian, I know my water breathing quite well,” Deetsan replied, handing the ring back to me.'
I loved this! And ahah! I see now why you lingered in Weye to go fishing.

* Scene 2

I'm glad you showed us this scene. In the game Deetsan sort of tells you about having the confrontation whilst you were floundering in the well, but to actually see it from Deetan's perspective was a treat!


Posted by: SubRosa Feb 6 2011, 05:08 AM

“Yes, is there some astoundingly important reason for you to waste my time, Associate?”
Right off the bat you etch Falcar firmly in our minds! Excellent!

another Altmer so full of himself that if he took one more breath of hot air he’d be floating.
laugh.gif

keep your scales straight.
A wonderful setting-friendly phrase!

The following scene with Deetsan and Falcar was fantastic! Like Acadian said, we always see it referred to, but never actually get to be a fly on the wall as it happens. Very cool, and very ominous! You really make Falcar seem much more villainous than he is in the game.

nits:
Deetsan didn’t reply immediately, she was deeply concentrated on the ring… which I noticed was now glowing. There must be more to the thing than being just a simple memento. When Deetsan finally looked back up at me, she wore an expression of shocked amazement.
“Why didn’t you tell me this ring allows you to breathe underwater?” She inquired indignantly.

The hungry forum ate the space between your paragraphs. The moderators really need to feed it more often... wink.gif

Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 6 2011, 07:10 PM

I agree with the others, the second part told from Deetsan's POV is very powerful stuff. It really brings home the nastiness that is Master Falcar.

Too bad Julian wasn't standing behind Deestan during this confrontation. Would Falcar have dared to treat her like that with a former pilus watching? There is no question in my mind that had he done that in front of Julian, superior or no superior, she would have stepped in. That is the impact the scene you wrote had on me.

Good Job! goodjob.gif

Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 6 2011, 09:11 PM

And, another Oblivion-centric fanfic I'm finally caught up on. Glad to have done so, as I find myself oddly fascinated by Derelas. His handling of the situation in Chorrol, the people watching him, his interactions with Sera Dresdan...

I particularly enjoyed his reaction to finding out that his new ring is enchanted. Perfect for those deep sea dives, or convincing a particularly aquatic Argonian to train a person in Alteration.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 8 2011, 09:15 PM

@mALX: Yup, there indeed be another plug at the misadventures of Maxical in here. Your kitty is one of the many inspirations to this story, and one of the reasons it continues.

@Acadian: I was actually struggling a bit with how I was going to write that segment, I just didn't know how I could add my own twist to the Falcar quest. Then I thought, "what if we could actually see what happened down there while you were blubbering away?" I then finally had my outline.

@SubRosa: My goal was to have Falcar be your generic villainous arsehole, so I'm glad I got that across.

@haute ecole rider: If only Julian was there...

@Captain Hammer: Welcome, and glad you find the characters endearing, O' good nemesis of Dr. Horrible! tongue.gif

@all:I'd just like to get this out of the way, I am adjusting the lore pertaining to the East Empire Company in this segment. In the game, the company folded after the disaster at Raven Rock, but I'm changing that. Instead, Carnius got fired for corruption and embezzlement and the company sustained heavy losses after Raven Rock went busto. They are compensating by raising tariffs on Morrowind goods. It just didn't seem completely realistic that a company with as much wealth and influence as the East Empire Company would be allowed to just die.

next: Derelas returns from beneath the well, and discovers the immediate fallout of Falcar's dramatic exit...




Chapter 3-3: The Burden of Proof




“What in the name of Arkay are you doing down there?”

The voice of an Imperial rang downwards into my ears, echoing off the damp stone walls.

“Trying… to get… out… of this… thing.” I replied through gritted teeth. Every pull of my arms caused my muscles to scream in protest as if I had an anvil tied around my waist. I had found Falcar’s ring; turns out it was enchanted to make it that much heavier. It also turned out Vidkun had found it too… it was a sight I would rather not see again in my life. His body was pinned to the ground by the ring in his pocket, his arms and legs dangling feebly upwards in a ghostly shadow what was once a once desperate struggle for air. I reached upwards for the next rung on the slippery ladder… but felt my hand slip on the moist metal. Next thing I knew, I had fallen back into the water with a tremendous splash. Thank the Gods Aelwin’s ring worked… I had swallowed quite a bit of it.

“You alright?” The Imperial guard’s voice rang downwards once again.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I called back upwards, my voice heavy with aggravation now that I had to start that blasted climb all over again.




----




As I finally reached the lip of the stone wall, I removed the ring from my pocket and, with immense difficulty, tossed it over the side to ease my burden. It fell with a loud *CLANG* followed by an indignant “Ow!” I had dropped it on the guard’s foot.

“What exactly is that thing made of?” He asked incredulously, kicking the ring off his steel boot with difficulty.

“Brass, I think,” I replied simply, fighting for breath after finally escaping from the well’s depths, “but it’s been enchanted to make it incredibly heavy.”

“I’ll say,” the guard replied bemusedly, rubbing at a brand new dent, “that’s the first time anyone’s managed to stub my toe in these boots. Anyways, would you mind telling me what you were doing down there? It’s dangerous to go swimming in the wells, you know; you could’ve drowned.”

“And it’s thanks to this ring I didn’t, actually,” I countered, holding my left hand up to show him Aelwin’s ring. “Anyways, I think you should know there’s a body in there. He looked like a Nord, went by the name of Vidkun.”

“Come again?” The guard asked, “There’s a body down there?”

“Yes, like I said, his name is Vidkun,” I repeated.

“No wonder the water’s been tasting funny recently…” the guard mumbled. I made a silent note to thank him for giving me a very good reason never to drink anything offered in this town ever again.

“He drowned trying to obtain this ring,” I quickly continued, pointing to the brass loop now twinkling innocently in the midday sun, “and I believe it was the intention of the person who asked me to find it that I follow the same fate….”

“Murder is a very serious accusation, citizen, and not one you should throw around lightly,” the guard cut me off in a rather pompous manner, “I trust you have the evidence to back it?”

Let’s see, there was the fact that the ring was so heavy it kept Vidkun rooted to the floor of the well, completely helpless. Then there was the fact Falcar didn’t even bother to warn me about the ring’s nature; in fact, he didn’t even bother to tell me anything about Vidkun’s disappearance at all. I think I had all the all the evidence I needed, with one exception.

“I might,” I replied once I finished gathering my thoughts, “we just need to get this ring back to the Mages Guild. If my suspicions are true, Falcar has a lot to answer for.”

“I’d better come with you, then,” the guard added, “If you’re right, we best end this as soon as possible.”

And if I’m wrong, less distance for you to travel to reprimand me, I finished in my head.

“Fine,” I finished, heaving the ring into my hands with a grunt.




----




“By the Gods, what happened to you, ma’am?!” The guard cried out as Deetsan opened the door. Her appearance was shocking, one of her eyes was swollen half shut and she was clutching at her ribs.

“It was Falcar,” she replied simply, confirming every suspicion in my mind. “He attacked me. He also killed one of our members and just tried to kill this one,” she finished indicating me. I noticed the guard’s gaze turning towards me. Told you so, I thought.

“I’ll inform the city watch to keep an eye out for him,” the guard quickly recited, “If he’s anywhere around here, we’ll find him.” With that, he hurried off, his boots clanking loudly on the paving stones. Deetsan closed the doors behind me as I returned inside.

“What should I do with this thing?” I quickly asked her, indicating the ring that was now threatening to tear a hole in my hands.

“Oh, just drop it anywhere,” Deetsan replied, “I don’t think Falcar really cared about it, it was probably some sort of sick joke on his part.”

I quickly let the ring go with a sigh. It made an incredible thud when it hit the stone floor and caused an Altmer woman to look up, startled, from her potion brewing.

“Vidkun’s dead,” I told Deetsan. Best get the bad news over with now. Deetsan responded by dropping her gaze and shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I just knew this had happened,” she began, her voice a low hiss of anger, “I should’ve known better than to keep my mouth shut about all this. I should’ve reported Falcar when I had the chance! How could I let this happen under my nose?”

She then made a lengthy pause, which I felt would be best not to break, before turning back to face me.

“I take it your talk with Falcar didn’t go very well?” I inquired once I felt she had straightened herself out. “You look like you’re in a lot of pain.”

“Just my pride,” Deetsan brushed off, unconvincingly clutching at her ribs at the same time, “but no, it didn’t. He just dismissed me like he always does… at least until I threatened to report him to the council for covering up Vidkun’s death,” she broke her gaze with mine, and I noticed her voice was getting higher and starting to shake, “I thought he was going to kill me, he got so angry! I couldn’t even understand most of his ranting, all I could tell was that he screamed that our days were numbered and then he stormed out.”

I shook my head incredulously. It was hard to believe how horrible a person could be sometimes. Killing a highwayman to preserve your own life pales in comparison to trying to murder someone in cold blood… and succeeding. This trip to Cheydinhal was nothing if not gruesomely enlightening.

“Anyways, I don’t think he ever intended to write your recommendation, Associate,” Deetsan then continued, breaking the brief silence, “I am deeply sorry you had to get caught up in the middle of this, but thank you for your help in bringing his crimes to light.”

“It was my pleasure,” I replied, “and I’m sorry about Vidkin.”

“Yes, it’s such a shame,” Deetsan answered quietly, her gaze dropping to the floor once again, “he didn’t deserve to die like that. But, no use crying over it now, it happened and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Anyways, with Falcar gone, that leaves me in charge of things here,” Deetsan then revealed to me, “so, if I say so myself, I think you’ve more than earned a recommendation from me.”

“Well, thank you very much, but are you sure the council will acknowledge it?” I asked, handing her the parchment slip that now contained Teekeus’ signature.

“Well, I do need to get a report written up for them about what happened here, so I’m sure they will,” Deetsan answered, grabbing a nearby quill and inkpot. “Now, I have enough time to give you a quick tour of the guild before I have to get to work, so let’s not waste time.”




----




“…and this is the basement level. We have some extra public beds in that room over there in case you need them,” Deetsan indicated a small wooden door opposite the entry stairwell, “and over there is the Magister’s quarters.”

“Falcar’s quarters,” I added, suppressing a cringe.

“Well, they technically belong to me now, but yes, that is where Falcar slept.” Deetsan replied, though I had the feeling it would be quite a while before she slept in the same bed as he did after what happened today.

The guild hall was actually rather small, at least smaller than the one in Chorrol. The building was constructed of plastered stone and lined with rosewood, with hard oak floors upstairs and tiled floors downstairs. The ground floor contained several desks in alcoves for private studies, as well as an alchemy booth with several tools an apparatuses. The female Altmer, Eilonwy, whom I had startled when I returned with Falcar’s ring, was still engrossed in her potions there when Deetsan introduced me to her. Next to the stairwell leading to the upper floor was the dining room, which at this point contained several bowls of fresh fruit, including some very strange berries.

“They’re called Comberries,” Deetsan replied when I asked her about them, “they come imported from Morrowind. They’re very popular here in Cheydinhal because of how close to the province we are, though they are a bit expensive thanks to all the tariffs the East Empire Company imposes on them.”

Upstairs was the community dormitory, where I was greeted by a Redguard named Trayvond as I entered. Another High Elf named Orintur was studying in a corner of the room. Most of the windows in the building also opened up to this floor, providing ample light by which to read by, as well as helping to mask the relatively small size of the hall in comparison to the number of people dwelling inside.

“So, that’s about it. It’s not much, but it’s served us quite well over the years,” Deetsan concluded once she had shown me the basement bedroom. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get started on that report.”

“Do you want someone to clear out Falcar’s things?” I offered. “You know, since he’s obviously not going to be coming back?”

“If you wish to do so, Associate, feel free, but I really do need to get started on that report,” Deetsan finished, closing the basement door behind her with a snap on the way back up.

Falcar didn’t keep much inside his room, just a few changes of clothes in the wardrobe and a couple potions on his desk, but I quickly found myself puzzled by a rather innocent chest of drawers being locked tightly shut. Was Falcar trying to hide something in there? Too bad I didn’t have any lockpicks, I thought, so I guess I’ll need to find the key… if he didn’t take it with him, that is. I decided it might be worth a shot to try under the dresser, though in all likelihood it wasn’t there.

Nope, nothing. Besides, that would’ve been too easy and predictable. Well, maybe I’m just being paranoid, I thought to myself as I flopped down on the bed, he probably was just your run-of-the-mill fetcher who… wait… where is that clinking sound coming from? I quickly sat back up and lifted the pillow I was resting my head on… and there it was; a plain brass key. I quickly snatched it up, thrust it into the dresser’s lock, and was greeted by a satisfying click as I turned it. Now, let’s see what you’ve been hiding in here, Falcar….

Posted by: SubRosa Feb 8 2011, 10:01 PM

I agree that it seems odd that a state-sponsored company like the East Empire Company would just fold up like that after one bad venture. They have other operations all over Morrowind, and hold a monopoly on trade in things like ebony, glass,and stalhrim, not to mention favorable tariffs on the other stuff. Besides, depending on how you play Bloodmoon, you can end up in charge of Raven Rock. Unless Bethesda means to imply that it is the player character's incompetence after Bloodmoon that puts the colony out of business! biggrin.gif

What's that? Derelas fell down the well? wink.gif Sorry, I could not resist.

This trip to Cheydinhal was nothing if not gruesomely enlightening.
Indeed it has been. Hopefully now Derelas has gained a new perspective on killing.

Now what might Falcar have in that chest? His subscription to Playorc? wink.gif



nits:
Then there was the fact Falcar didn’t even bother me to warn me about the ring’s nature;
I think you have a me leftover from an earlier edit.

He appearance was shocking
That fetcher Falcar absconded with Deetsan's "r" on the way out!

Posted by: mALX Feb 9 2011, 01:01 AM

I absolutely love what you have done to this quest! The struggle to get out of the well was one of those perfect details you saw that most miss - HUGE Write !!! Awesome Chapter !!!

Here is the Chevy Silverado to help you get out of the well:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwgJzNHvJ-c

Posted by: King Coin Feb 9 2011, 01:43 AM

I'll have to read this one too, but I think I'll come back later when I have more time to sit and read.

Posted by: Acadian Feb 9 2011, 03:14 AM

I thoroughly enjoy Derelas' take on things here so far. You have brought the guild nicely to life. I'm so glad we now have Deetsan in charge!

“No wonder the water’s been tasting funny recently…” the guard mumbled.'
I'm so glad you managed to work in this wonderful line from the game!

Fine,” I finished, heaving the ring into my hands with a grunt.'
Um. . . Dere, it doesn't work so well when one fella tries to use in on another. tongue.gif

Nit?
'Another High Elf named Honditar was studying in a corner of the room. '
Although nothing on Nirn says you can't modify things and take license as you deem appropriate, I suspect you meant Eilonwy's sweetie http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:Orintur here? As you know, http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:Honditar is in Chorrol. I know those high elves are so darn tall, it can be hard to see their faces up there in the clouds. smile.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 12 2011, 07:14 PM

@SubRosa: Quick, we need Lassie... err... Chevy! That section was rather unintentionally well timed.
Nits picked.

@mALX: I pride myself in noticing the little things others tend to miss. Like, for example, how insanely difficult it would have been for your character in-game to get out of that well thanks to that ring. Who needs ladders when we have such technology as load-screen teleportation? tongue.gif

@King Coin:Take your time and enjoy yourself. Glad to see you jumping in. smile.gif

@Acadian: That was not a fine in that sense, but a fine in that other sense. You know, the sense where fine would not work, but at the same time sorta work... Ahh, who cares. It stays! biggrin.gif
The name, however, is changed. It is not the first and certainly won't be the last Elder Scrolls name I mess up.

@all: I think it's about time we refer back to that hungry beast known as plot. This chapter will hopefully add a bit of perspective on the significance of Falcar's work in Cheydinhal.

next:We pay a visit to Guilbert, and sit down to a nice dinner with our Cheydinhal guildmates.



Chapter 3-4: The Last Supper…



Well wasn’t that a waste of time, the drawers were completely bare inside, not even a speck of dust as far as I could tell. Falcar must’ve cleared them out before he left. I’ll give him this one, he’s sneaky, alright, and intelligent. Well, no use worrying about this any longer, I thought to myself, tossing the key aside. Just another worthless red herring. I returned to gathering up what was left of Falcar’s clothing to move it to the communal wardrobe upstairs.




----




“Derelas, could I have a quick chat?”

I turned away from hanging up the clothing I brought from the basement to see Trayvond standing behind me, a book wedged under one arm and a soft smile upon his face.

“Sure,” I replied, shutting the closet door and moving to sit at a small table in the middle of the room with a small bowl of fruit in the center. Trayvond followed me.

“I just wanted to thank you for helping to get rid of Falcar,” Trayvond told me once he had found a comfortable seat. “He was a most unpleasant magister, as you have no doubt witnessed.”

“I’m sure, I only knew him for five minutes and I utterly despise him,” I returned. “I take it he liked to bully people around a lot?”

“Particularly the newbies,” Trayvond explained, frowning, “it was especially hard for me to put up with him. I didn’t come all the way from Hammerfell to be held back by some stuck-up fetcher who doesn’t give a cliffracer’s beak about his subordinates.”

“Sounds like I, well, me and Deetsan that is, did you a favor, then?” I wondered, reaching for a strawberry from the bowl in the center of the table.

“Very much so,” Trayvond replied. “He must’ve been pulling a Telvanni, because he wouldn’t even let me speak to him. That means no recommendations… and therefore no future,” he concluded bitterly, helping himself to a small bunch of comberries.

“Really, why?” I inquired, pulling out a strange, pointy leaf and examining it.

“Probably because my people tend to look down on magic users,” He answered, popping one of the small, red berries into his mouth, “We see it as an affront to life, tampering with others’ minds and stealing souls. A Redguard wizard is more often than not considered weak or wicked back in Hammerfell.”

“So that’s why you traveled to Cyrodiil,” I finished, returning the odd leaf to the bowl.

“Yup, the mages guild doesn’t have that much influence back home in Dragonstar, so here I am,” he placed another berry into his mouth before continuing. “I’ll admit, I’m not very partial to practitioners of Conjuration and Illusion. Age old prejudices die hard, I guess.”

My heart sank, my only real magical skill lay in Illusion. I decided to nip this bud early so it wouldn’t come back to haunt me later.

“Well, that’s a shame, Illusion is my preferred magic,” I told him, hoping he wouldn’t think any less of me for it.

“Well, then just don’t use your hocus-pocus to suggest I start dancing around the town square in a tutu and we won’t have any problems,” he informed me with a smirk.

“Anyways, what have you been doing around here?” I asked once I finished laughing. “You must’ve kept yourself busy somehow, why not leave if Falcar was so unreasonable?”

“Well, mostly because Alteration is my preference and Orintur has been giving me some private tutoring,” Trayvond responded. “He’s been helping me work on my shield spells, and I’m getting pretty good at them now. Alteration is the focus of this hall, after all; I didn’t want to leave until I was sure there was nothing left for me here.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be on your way soon,” I replied, rising from my seat. “Now that Falcar is gone, you can finally finish what you started here.”

“And I very well plan on it,” Trayvond added, downing the last comberry. “Say, will you be staying for dinner? I’m sure the rest of the guild will want to meet the man who saved them from a lifetime of misery.”

“That sounds lovely,” I told him, “but I have a couple things to do around town first. Erm… you wouldn’t happen to know anyone with the last name of Jemane now, would you?”

“Hmm…” Trayvond brought a hand to his mouth and began to rub it in thought. After a few seconds, he looked back to me. “Well, there’s a Guilbert Jemane around these parts. I’d imagine you could find him over at Newland’s Lodge. Why, do want to see him?”

“Very much so,” I answered, turning towards the stairs. “I’ll be back soon, thanks for the help.”




----




“Yes, I am him, can I help you with anything?”

Guilbert Jemane greeted me warmly upon my approach. Six bells had rung from the city chapel as I made my way through the city, signaling dinner. Guilbert was seated at a small table eating from what I could only describe to be a giant egg with a very thick shell. How he was even going to go about such a feat eluded me completely. I made a quick note to ask about it when I returned to the guild.

“Well met, Guilbert,” I replied, giving him a quick nod, “I don’t want to take up too much of your time so I’ll try to be brief. Does the name ‘Reynald Jemane’ mean anything to…”

“Wait,” Guilbert cut me off, shock spreading across his youthful face, “Say that name again.”

“Reynald Jemane,” I repeated, “I met him in Chorrol.”

“You met him?” Guilbert inquired, voice filled with amazement and perhaps joy, “you mean… he’s alive?!

I noticed my knees suddenly seemed less willing to support me. Whatever I was expecting as a response from him, it was not that. Guilbert thought he was dead? He seemed right as rain when I saw him… well… in his own special way, I guess. What might have happened between them to bring Guilbert to that conclusion?

“I can’t believe it; I was told my mother and brother never survived!” Guilbert ecstatically continued, “This is incredible! Where did you say you saw him? Chorrol?”

“Umm… yes.” I bemusedly replied, still trying to steady my suddenly rapidly beating heart, “Yes… in Chorrol. Are you… are you going to go see him?”

“I’ll leave first thing tomorrow,” Guilbert answered, abandoning his giant eggy dinner, “You have no idea how happy you’ve made me to tell me that friend! Excuse me, I have to pack my things.”

Guilbert then hurried upstairs, leaving a most confused Bosmer in his wake.




----




“And so he just ran off… zoom. I still don’t understand half of it.”

It was now dinner time at the Cheydinhal chapter, and I had just finished telling the table about what had happened with Guilbert Jemane. They had all given pause when I told them about how he thought Reynald was dead, but they were quickly recovering.

“Very strange,” Eilonwy slowly replied, helping herself to a bowl of cheddar grits, “I wonder what might’ve happened to make him think that?”

“Giants, maybe?” Orintur chimed in beside Eilonwy. He was eating one of those same eggs Guilbert was; Kwama eggs, he said they were. Off-white and roughly five times the size of a chicken egg, he had used a special knife with its point tapered forward to cut a small portion of the shell off. He then picked up a soup spoon and scrambled around whatever was inside. The result was… well… some kind of gelatinous, muted red goo. It looked utterly disgusting, but seeing the way he savored every bite, I thought I’d reserve judgment on those things. “Or perhaps ogres?” He added, “if they lived in the wilderness, it wouldn’t surprise me.”

“Might’ve been Daedra,” Trayvond quipped, causing everyone at the table to stare at him with eyebrows raised.

“What?” He exclaimed, “It’s not that far-fetched anymore. The Septim bloodline was the only thing sustaining the Aedric Compact. Without the dragonfires, Mundus is just begging to become a hunting ground. I’m surprised we haven’t been attacked already!”

“You and your conspiracy theories, Trayvond…” Eilonwy responded, lightly shaking her head. “If even half of them came true, Mundus would be a flaming ball of nothing by now.”

“I’m just trying to be plain,” Trayvond countered, raising his hands in mock surrender, “it wouldn't be completely unexpected for something like this to happen now.”

“Then let’s be glad it hasn’t,” Deetsan proclaimed, bringing a piece of beef to her mouth. “We’re in for hard enough times already. Skyrim’s already rattling their sabers, in fact. They’re threatening secession if a new Emperor can’t be crowned soon. I’d imagine things are pretty tense up in Bruma right now.”

“Well, then maybe I’ll have to leave them for later,” I commented.

“You never said you were leaving so soon,” Deetsan exclaimed, setting her fork down with a light clatter, “You’ve only just arrived. Why not stay here for a couple days and rest?”

“I never said I was leaving tomorrow,” I answered, “I really do need some rest from traveling… and I do need to give my back a break after lugging that ring around all day.”

“Speaking of that ring,” Orintur intersected, raising another bite of strange egg-soup to his mouth, “we need to do something about it. We can’t just leave it laying on the floor. Knowing how heavy it is, someone could trip over it… or slip on it.”

“We could probably just throw it back in the well,” I replied, raising a forkful of mashed potato to my mouth.

“Well, let’s not worry about that until tomorrow,” Deetsan injected, “but if you are so willing, Orintur, why don’t you do it?”

“Why me?” He indignantly asked, his eyebrows arisen in surprise, “You know I don’t have the strength to carry it!”

“Are you not an expert in Alteration?” Deetsan coolly replied, “just feather the ring; shouldn’t be too hard to carry then.”

Orintur’s golden skin became tinged with pink as he silently turned back to his dinner.

“Anyways, thank you again for your help today, Derelas,” Deetsan continued, turning back to me. “It has been a long time since we’ve been able to have a pleasant conversation here.”

“Hear hear,” Eilonwy added her approval, sending a smile my way.

“You’re welcome,” I replied, scooping the last of my own piece of beef of my plate. “I think I’ll take some leisure tomorrow, maybe get to know everyone here a little better, but I do want to finish off these recommendations before Spring term starts.”

“I understand,” Deetsan told me as I set my fork down and rose from the table, “If I may, I would recommend you go to Bravil next. The magister there, Kud-Ei, is a good friend of mine, and very reasonable… well… so long as you don’t make life difficult for her girls.”

“Then I’m sure she’ll be pleased to hear I helped you out of a rather tight squeeze, then,” I replied with a grin, and getting a light chuckle in response.

“Yes, I’m sure she will,” she said, returning my grin.

“Anyways, it’s been a busy day for me, so I think I’ll bed down early,” I finished, bidding the table good night. They chimed their chorus alike as I made my way upstairs to find a spare bed.




----




“I trust you didn’t leave anything incriminating behind,” the red-eyed figure said, his face masked in shadow by his light-eating cloak.

“Pocketed what I could, vanished the rest,” the Altmer replied, holding out two gems, one darker than Oblivion itself, the other glowing with a light to match the hooded figure’s eyes. “Your ring did its job, by the way.”

“Shame you couldn’t obtain the second,” the red-eyed man commented, pocketing the gems, the gleam in his eyes intensifying as anger boiled through his blood.

“He had a few tricks up his sleeve. It is lucky that I planned ahead, you know, otherwise the gems might be in his possession now. Or worse,” he then added, “the Council’s.”

“I did tell you not to break the bow on him, you know,” the bite of anger in the red-eyed man’s voice lashed through the air like a whipcrack, snapping the Altmer’s tongue to his teeth. “His life was not yours to take, and you should have waited on another. Why not that Redguard? You know very well they can’t magic their way out of a paper sack!”

“Apologies, master,” the Altmer immediately sank to one knee in a deep bow of repentance, “I have done wrong.”

“You did do better than I would expect of most, however, so I will spare you from the blood halls… for now,” the man the Altmer called Master then added, his voice changing to that of joy as he began toying with the glowing red crystal. “I did not expect this ploy to bear as much fruit as it has. I assume all of our puppets are in place?”

“Of course,” the Altmer replied, relief spreading throughout his face as he rose back to his feet, “Everyone you wanted is ready and waiting.”

“Good,” the cloaked man answered, “That is all, Falcar.”

The cloaked man turned away from the Altmer scurrying off into the darkness, and brought his eyes to a nearby chessboard, which was set for a game. He slowly reached out with a long-fingered hand, grasped a Bosmer-shaped pawn, and moved it forward two squares.

“White moves first…” he quietly muttered to himself, returning to his throne, his hand then came to grasp a small scroll on the armrest, and he squeezed it gently.

“Your play, Dagon.”

Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 12 2011, 08:17 PM

Do I understand that last scene correctly??

Mehrunes Dagon and King of Worms are in cahoots???

Boy, this is starting to make me go hmmm!

Posted by: SubRosa Feb 12 2011, 08:34 PM

who doesn’t give a cliffracer’s beak
An excellent phrase!

suggest I start dancing around the town square in a tutu
Yowie! Please do not do that! biggrin.gif Save it for Vigge... wink.gif

A nice, quiet episode that gives us a moment to take stock of Dere's situation. Not to mention some nice bits of world-building with the kwama egg. Yuck! wacko.gif Also another mention of the death of the Emperor, and the logical repercussions from that. Not just with Trayvon's dire predictions, but the more nirnly matters of secession (once a little more time goes by in the TF, we will see provinces begin to fall away there).

Finally, another intriguing bit of conspiracy at the end. Falcar taking the black soul gems with him was good. As was a bit of an explanation for why he killed Vidkun (that never made sense to me in the game). Unlike Schrodinger's Cat Rider, I do not think that Mannimarco has joined forces with Marooned Dragon. Rather I simply think he knows that the Lord of Destruction is on the move, and is trying to take advantage of the situation. Or he is simply playing chess with the Daedra Lord.


nits:
I did tell you not to jump the gun on him, you know,
I saw several modern colloquialisms, but this was the most blatant. You might want to rethink changing some to more setting-friendly terms, like the cliffracer's beak comment. It would make the entire piece more immersive.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 12 2011, 08:35 PM

For clarification:

I am deviating from the game's questlines in here, mostly with the Mages Guild's quest. What you saw happen in the game is most definitely not what is going to happen here. Due to Julian's background presence being made known in 1-2, I'll be leaving the main quest alone so that we don't get any nasty conflicts between here and Old Habits, but everything else is fair game.

Don't expect things to play out as you think they might. wink.gif

As for those slang terms, I've ironed a few of them out. That should make the piece feel a little more setting-friendly. The creative phrasing segment of my brain was a little out of tune this week, due to essay writing and a small modding stint. Thank Akatosh it's the weekend, now I can get my head on straight again. wacko.gif

Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 12 2011, 08:56 PM

Ooh, a mystery. How exciting!

Loved the part about feathering the ring to move it around, and reminding us all why arcane knowledge and common sense are not, in fact, inseparable. Deetsan continues to remain one of my absolute favorite Argonians, and you just reinforce that feeling.

Nit:

QUOTE
The cloaked man turned away from the Altmer scurrying away,


You repeat "away" in the same clause, and it comes off kind of clunky. I had to re-read that sentence three times to make sure I understood it, which I normally reserve for tricky logic-problems. Your choice, but I wanted to bring it to your attention.

Posted by: mALX Feb 12 2011, 10:02 PM

WOO HOO! Awesome foreshadowing in the segment of conversation between Trayvond and Eilonwy!


QUOTE

he had used a special knife with its point tapered forward to cut a small portion of the shell off. He then picked up a soup spoon and scrambled around whatever was inside. The result was… well… some kind of gelatinous, muted red soup. It looked utterly disgusting, but seeing the way he savored every bite, I thought I’d reserve judgment on those things


GAAAAAK !!!



The whole last segment was AWESOME !!! KOW playing chess with people's lives ... with DAGON - This ROCKS !!! What a creative mind you have, I can't wait to see you unfold it for us !!! WOO HOO !!!!!

Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 12 2011, 11:45 PM

All caught up again now. This story has definitely got me hooked!

...Eilonwy slowly replied, helping herself to a bowl of cheddar grits...
Being a southerner, any line that mentions grits is worth noting wink.gif And I do love my cheese grits!

“Giants, maybe?” Orintur chimed in... (insert kwama-goo eating here) “Or perhaps ogres?” He added, “if they lived in the wilderness, it wouldn’t surprise me.”
A nice segue to the balance of the Jemane quest?

Keep it coming TK....awesome! goodjob.gif

Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 12 2011, 11:46 PM

Double post ... sorry ... internet issues from time to time here mad.gif

Posted by: Acadian Feb 13 2011, 03:52 AM

Nice development of the Cheydinhal guild. Good chow too (well, except for the eggoos). tongue.gif

It was refreshing to see Falcar not forget to take his incriminating black soul gems with him.

Like you, it seems, I like Deetsan as well.

Good to see that Derelas planted the seed to reunite the Jemanes.

“Well, then just don’t use your hocus-pocus to suggest I start dancing around the town square in a tutu and we won’t have any problems,” he informed me with a smirk.'
Oh noes! Don't turn me into a chicken!

"The magister there, Kud-Ei, is a good friend of mine, and very reasonable… well… so long as you don’t make life difficult for her girls.”
happy.gif

What a tantalizing mystery you tease with at the end! Hmm, it harkens to the first paragraphs of your very first chapter, methinks.

Nits?

'Guilbert Jemane greeted my warmly upon my approach.'
I suspect you want the first 'my' to be a 'me'?

'Without the dragonfires, it’s Mundus is just begging to become a hunting ground.'
This wording is not clear to me. I think dumping the 'it's' fixes it.

Posted by: Grits Feb 13 2011, 01:25 PM

Well wasn’t that a waste of time, the drawers were completely bare inside, not even a speck of dust as far as I could tell. Falcar must’ve cleared them out before he left.
I like the hint that things will not go as we might expect.

“Very strange,” Eilonwy slowly replied, helping herself to a bowl of cheddar grits, “I wonder what might’ve happened to make him think that?”
My favorite! smile.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 15 2011, 10:08 PM

Before we continue, this statement:

QUOTE
I pride myself in noticing the little things others tend to miss.
I am retracting it. I appear to have picked up some bad juju with its utterance, so, begone!

@boxy kitty rider: I would comment on that... but that would be telling. wink.gif All will be made clear in time. This is a mystery, after all, so it would seem I'm doing my job if you are indeed going "hmm."

@SubRosa: I always look for new and creative ways to grab my readers' interest. I originally wanted to work those gems into the plot, but discovered it would actually make more sense to my overarching plot if he took them with him. This also resolves the issue of adding my own unique twist on the quest, as well, so that would be two cliff-racers with one arrow. biggrin.gif

@M.C. Hammer: Indeed an exciting mystery. I'm glad you took notice of Orintur's little slip-up, and glad you saw the tiny message between the lines.
Nit be picked.

@mALX: Foreign food can be quite strange until you get to know it a little better. Take Japanese for example. I used to not be able to even fathom why someone would even want to eat raw fish... and now its one of my absolute favorites. As we spend more time in Cheydinhal, Dere will eventually come to experience a few of these Dunmer delicacies himself... whether or not he's barfing down the well after that, we'll just have to wait and see. wink.gif

@TheOtherRick:Not exactly the person I was baiting with that line... I'm glad you took such notice of it anyway. Thank you for your kind words. smile.gif

@Acadian: Indeed, that scene refers back to my hook in the very first post. These shadowy figures are key to the plot, so I won't be forgetting them any time soon. How important are they? Well, that's all I can say right now. You'll just have to keep reading to find out.
Nits be picked.

@Grits: ...and as soon as your game fish takes the bait, 'tis important to give the line a sharp tug in order to set the hook, and then quickly reel it in. biggrin.gif tongue.gif

@all: Thank you all for your support! Derelas appreciates it as much as I do, and your kind words keep him going. At 67 pages long now in my word processor, I think I can safely say this Fic has definitely become serious business for me.

next: Darkness takes hold....




Chapter 4-1: …Before the Flames




“I told you… I told you this would happen!”

“Please, Trayvond, now is not the time for gloating.”

“I’m not gloating, magister, I’m just bringing to light that I’ve said this was bound to occur all week…”

“…and now it has happened. Thank you very much, Trayvond, but I am in no mood to massage your ego any further. Please quiet your tongue.”

My eyes opened to a completely empty bedroom. A strangely familiar compression filled the air, compressing upon my chest and bringing with it the tension of unrest. The intense debate downstairs had given way to a silence so stiff that it might’ve broken if you dropped it. After quickly dressing, I made my way downstairs to discover the dining table empty… and given the morning light streaming through the windows, that certainly didn’t strike me as good. I then noticed that everyone was tightly knit around a table in the opposite room. There was a stack of newspapers upon that table, and everyone was reading so intently from them they didn’t even notice my approach. I took one of the papers from the pile, and noted a familiar insignia. My stomach plummeted; whatever I was about to read, it was probably bad news.


IPB Image


KVATCH LAID TO WASTE IN THE NIGHT
Entire city destroyed in surprise attack

The city of Kvatch, the crown jewel of the Brena Lowlands, is no more. The city of the Wolf was, just last night, attacked and utterly devastated by a mysterious force. Many thousands of lives are feared to have been lost, and the city itself is now nothing more than a charred shell of the mountaintop paradise it used to represent.

“They came from Oblivion!” One citizen cried out to our interviewers, “There were glowing portals outside the walls! Daedra poured out of them! You wouldn’t believe the noise, the screams… by the Gods, I can still hear the clashing swords!” This citizen then dashed away before we could ask him anything more.

Yes, you read correctly. Kvatch, it would seem, was attacked by Daedra fresh from the jaws of Oblivion. How could this even be possible? Isn’t our world supposed to be protected from Oblivion by the power of the Nine?

“Without any question in my mind,” Temple primate Tandilwe replied to our question of whether or not this was related to the death of the Imperial bloodline a week ago. “It was the Emperor’s binding with the spirit of Akatosh that kept the Dragonfires lit, which, to put it bluntly, was the Emperor’s signature on the Aedric Compact. This Compact kept the forces of Oblivion from launching an all out assault on Mundus since St. Alessia cast the Amulet of Kings. She gave her soul in return for the protection of the Gods for all the people. Without the Dragonfires, the Compact has no sustenance, no conduit for the Gods to obtain the power needed to sustain these defenses. Because of this, the barriers they held against Oblivion have now begun to fade.”

But why would the Gods require a link to the Emperor to provide such barricades? Did they not create the earth we walk upon every day?

“The Eight before Talos gave up much of their power to create our world,” Tandilwe replied to this question. “They have not the strength to intervene on our behalf on their own any longer. It is through our faith that our prayers may be answered… and through the lineage of the Dragonborn that Akatosh may find the strength to keep our world sealed from the Daedra. Without an Emperor to channel his power, one of Septim blood, which is to say Dragon blood, he will not be able to sustain the barriers for much longer, I’m afraid.”

This is bad news; not just for the Empire, but for the entire world. Without an Emperor to sustain the Compact, the whole of Tamriel and beyond might soon become a killing field for the Daedra. The Elder Council refused to comment on the matter, but one must assume that they are now under extreme pressure to discover who is next to take the throne so the Compact may be reinstated, and the barriers restored.

But why Kvatch? Why not cut the head off the snake first and attack Cyrodiil City, removing the source of power and unity and utterly demoralizing Tamriel? Could this mean that there still exists one man who could reasonably end this, and they were trying to remove him? Could there still yet be an heir to the throne that lives? We may never know, and given the complete devastation of the mountaintop city, it is likely he didn’t survive. Let us extend our prayers to the survivors of Kvatch, to the Elder Council that they may soon find the man the Dragon Throne needs to sustain our society, and to the Nine for the strength and unity to overcome these days of darkness.


“Daedra? Oblivion? This can’t be possible,” I said to myself, my mind reeling. “They destroyed an entire city?!

“Eilonwy was beside herself when she heard,” Orintur interceded, his expression somber. “She has family in Kvatch; she left the moment she set the paper down. I tried to talk her out of it, but… well, you should’ve seen her.” He then turned his gaze to the floor. “I’ve never seen her so upset in my life…” he finishes slowly shaking his head in disbelief.

“Oh, dear, this is horrible,” Deetsan added in a shaky voice while slowly folding her paper. “I can’t even begin to imagine what might be going through that poor girl’s mind right now.” She then leaned forward to match Orintur, her expression a confused mess of shock, horror, and sorrow.

“I really do hope her parents are safe,” Trayvond said after a brief silence, his head resting on folded hands, and his darkened eyes betraying the grief his voice attempted to mask. “She’s far too young to lose them now.”

Indeed she is, I thought, there is never a good time to lose your parents…




----




“Where are you going, dad?”

“We’ve had a breakthrough on one of our digs,” a dark-haired Bosmer in traveling leathers responded, checking a short steel blade for nicks and testing its sharpness. “We’ve uncovered a new entrance to an ancient ruin. Your mother and I have been tasked with leading a small party to clear out any nasties that might have taken up residence inside and to recover any notable artifacts.”

“Dangerous work…” I concluded, looking to the floor with a sinking feeling in my chest, “Please be careful.”

“I always am, son,” My father responded. Noticing my edgy tone, he then placed a calming hand on my shoulder. “I would never leave you alone in this world.” Satisfied with the condition of his blade, he then slid it into its sheath. “Now, your mother and I really must leave, it’s a three day journey to the site. We shoul… will be back before next Sundas.”

“Take care of yourself, dad,” I called out to his retreating back.

“And you, Dere,” He responded, closing the door to our treetop home behind him with a wave good-bye.





----




“I have to go,” I suddenly voiced, dashing for the stairs and startling everyone out of their brooding reverie.

“Really, Derelas, you said you were going to have a day to yourself today!” Deetsan indignantly called out as I briskly made my way upstairs to pack. “Why do you have to leave now? Kvatch is on the other side of the province, for Mara’s sake!”

“I’m sorry Deetsan, I can’t stay any longer,” I replied, slinging my rucksack over my shoulder to cover my bow-staff. Deetsan then opened her mouth to protest further, but she must’ve seen the pain in my eyes, because she slowly closed it again before turning her head back to the floor and nodding. “Besides,” I added, making my way to the door, hoping it would at least make her feel more at ease with my parting, “I’m not going to Kvatch, but to Bravil.”

“But why leave now?” Deetsan repeated, looking back up at me with a mingled expression of relief and confusion, “That can wait until you’ve rested up, can’t it?”

“I’m afraid it can’t,” I replied somberly, “some things are just too important for me to ignore right now.”

“Very well,” Deetsan concluded, coming to grips that my mind was made up. “Do please be careful, though. If Kvatch fell so quickly to Daedra, I fear what could happen if they ambushed you on the road.”




----




The gray overcast grew to a light drizzle as the grand walls and rosewood-paneled spires of Cheydinhal disappeared from view behind a new wall of low trees and stacked rocks matching the dreary sky in color. The leaves did not dance for me on this day, but remained ever still in the stagnant air left over from today’s early morning fog. As the road wound its way through the rolling hills of the ever-expansive countryside, the rain intensified from a light, pleasant shower to something more akin to standing under a waterfall. My shirt was soon soaked through completely, and I found myself longing for the shelter that would be provided by the yew forest I could make out just south of me.

By Y’ffre, this rain is terrible, I thought to myself, twiddling with Aelwin’s ring. If it got any heavier, I would probably need this ring just to walk. It was then, without warning, that all of the water clinging to my skin and clothing decided it was no longer interested in keeping me company, and it fell into a giant puddle beneath my shoes with a huge splash barely audible in the pouring rain.

Well, that was odd… though certainly not unwelcome. I would guess this ring is also capable of instantly drying the user as well as allowing him to breathe underwater. Quite handy, if I might say so. Aelwin certainly was a generous man, I’ll need to pay him a visit sometime and thank him again for his wonderful gift.

Despite the fact that I could now walk without my shoes slogging, I still yearned for the protection of the ancient yews against the percussion being played upon my skull from the pouring heavens. It was now raining so thickly I could barely see my hand in front of my face… and it was starting to thunder. OK, that’s enough of this, I thought, I’m getting under that natural canopy. The trees would keep the rain off my head, and hopefully keep this humble Bosmer from being instantly crisped in a violent white flash… or at the very least avoid sending my hair skyward and turning it strange colors. I veered south off the stone walkway as I reached a small bridge leading across a now overflowing mountain stream.




----




Cacat! Where is he going?

The Dunmer brushed a sodden lock of raven-black hair from her forehead, her ruby eyes focused intently on the traveler who had just veered unexpectedly from the road.

I don’t think he has any idea how dangerous that forest can be, she thought to herself, closely examining his progress. It’s not just monsters in there… you would be fighting with the land itself to venture within; all the more perilous from the dense foliage covering soil and sky. There are cliff faces you would never notice until you’ve already fallen in, obviously much too late.

A bright flash cracked through the sky, lighting the entire hillside in a dazzling and frightening display, soon after the very air exploded, causing the Dunmer to jump and lose her gaze. Gritting her teeth at the distraction, she turned her eyes back to the stream… but the Bosmer was gone.

Dammit! This just keeps getting worse! She then leapt out of the sheltering cave mouth into the pouring rain after the Bosmer who was now unknowingly venturing into the inhospitality and treachery of the Ancient Yews.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 15 2011, 10:20 PM

And while Derelas has not yet participated fully in the MQ, but instead is pursuing his own path, the BHC provides us with a useful reference to events going on in Nirn. The destruction of Kvatch roots the reader firmly in the events of the game, and provides us with some kind of familiarity. I for one, appreciate it.

And we see a little more of his past. I get the feeling that his flashback is the last time he spoke to his father. If I'm right, then that's not the first time I'm saddened by being right. verysad.gif

I liked what you did with the different mages in Cheydinhal. Your development of their characters really brings them further to life.

S.G.M.

Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 15 2011, 10:42 PM

I really like the use of the paper to keep us abreast of the Oblivion crisis.

Looks like Faith is tagging along still, and she has me curious about the yews.

Another great write! goodjob.gif

Posted by: Acadian Feb 16 2011, 02:22 AM

I echo the fabulous use of the Black Horse Courier, both in content and layout/appearance. Your indirect coverage of the Oblivion Crisis is very neat.

When reading, I tend to focus on the character, the journey and the moment, not the destination (or plot, if you will). There are wonderful word images, rich descriptions and endearing characters here. I quite like Derelas' journey.

How cool that he was raised in a treehouse!

You imparted a wonderfully foreboding feeling regarding Derelas' stormy entrance into the forest, highlighted by the most welcome appearance of his Dunmeri guardian.


Posted by: SubRosa Feb 16 2011, 03:26 AM

Another good episode. As the others have said, the Black Horse Courier was excellent. As were Derelas' memories of his lost parents. What I imagine was the last time he ever saw them.

or at the very least avoid sending my hair skyward and turning it strange colors.
And so was born the Adoring Fan! laugh.gif

Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 17 2011, 01:58 AM

Wow. Talk about getting proved right. I wonder if Trayvond will get more appreciation for his accurate predictions, or less. Should be interesting.

Though I wonder who will end up needing help through these dangerous ancient yews. After all, on the one hand, we do have on our hands a skilled Dunmer with obvious experience in handling dangerous opponents. And on the other, we have a Valenwood native that's at home in the trees, and not without his own resourcefulness.

PM me to find out odds! Losers have to write installments for the winners' assorted works. But hey, at least the house isn't taking a cut this time!

Posted by: Grits Feb 17 2011, 04:44 PM

The leaves did not dance for me on this day, but remained ever still in the stagnant air left over from today’s early morning fog.

What a moody, rainy walk through the hills. Aelwin’s ring is handy indeed! I wonder what’s in those yew trees.

Posted by: mALX Feb 18 2011, 03:29 AM

Hugely powerful impact in this chapter! The use of the Black Horse Courier was well done !! Awesome Write !!!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 18 2011, 08:33 PM

@rider: High praise indeed from you. I wasn't expecting to be S.G.M'd this early on. Thank you for that.

@Rick: Thank you for your kind words, You'll find out more about the yews, and what they hide, very soon.

@Acadian: I, too, recognize the importance of a good main character. When it comes to the plot, I enter each chapter, act, and full story with a beginning and an end in mind, but nothing else. I don't bother to outline the individual chapters, since this story is that of my character's. I want his voice to come through, and his experiences, not mine, or how I felt it should play out. Just having that start point and end point does do a lot, though, and allows me to build towards an ultimate goal. I have a very good memory, so although I may not have penned all my ideas, my musings for this story go all the way to the final climax at this point. Rest assured I will see it through to the end.

@SubRosa: Indeed, that was the last time he saw them.

@Hammerzeit: Ask Trayvond! The new hit carnival show! As for your little game, I'd place a wager, but I'm afraid I would have to be disqualified for obvious bias... and may perhaps with my omnipotence, I might just already know the outcome. tongue.gif

@Grits: Yes, what is in those yews? Trolls? Giants? Flesh-eating tomatoes? You'll find out soon enough.

@mALX: Your kind words are always appreciated. Let me reiterate my happiness for your good news with Dixie here. I hope she enjoyed her doggie-treat from Simone! smile.gif

@all: I see I've gathered a lot of praise for my usage of Black Horse Courier. One of the trademarks of this story is the fact that Dere has very little interest in the Main Quest, and thus we learn about its effects indirectly. This is quite a departure from the nature of the game, so I'm glad to here it's working out so well. Expect to see more from Hassiri as we progress.

next: Our travels within the Ancient Yews begin...



Chapter 4-2: The Ancient Yews



The world had ended. My eyes were staring across a vast, rocky rift in the landscape all but concealed by the dense forest undergrowth. Thank the Gods I didn’t fall in, that would’ve been a nasty plummet. The stream I had been relying on to guide me now tumbled over the cliff with a roar rivaling the deluge I had fled from outside. The ledge was far too high to jump from, and even then, there was no telling how deep the tiny pond below would be. I had no choice in the matter, I would have to find a way around.

Lightning flashed violently overhead as I made my way across the top of the cliff face, and the thunderclap that followed not long after sent chills down my spine, not because it was so loud, but because of how unnirnly quiet it was. Despite the torrent overhead, the entire forest was utterly still and completely silent. It was like the towering yews had stolen the voice of the heavens, and all that existed now was within their gnarled branches and broad trunks. The longer I spent within, the more I felt I was venturing not into the unknown of the wilderness… but into the iron shackles of a prison. I briefly paused to string my bow and load the quiver at my hip.

Time itself had become a nonexistent entity, and so it escaped me exactly when I finally met the stream again. It was still swollen from the deluge above that still had yet to abate, but now the sound of its babbling had become mixed with another… a faint shrieking wail. Was this some new undiscovered sound of the storm above? Was it some strange new forest sound? The light wail then slowly rose in crescendo to a screaming shriek, dispelling any idea that it was a sound of the storm. Not long after, the swirling black cloud of a new storm, one of bats, came surging through the still shadow.

I threw myself to the ground with a yell as the swarm of bats passed overhead, shrieking themselves hoarse and their wings a such furious flutter they might have knocked each other out of the air with a touch. Every so often, one would brush against the exposed skin of my arms, greeting me with the bone-chilling brush of their furry bodies and the occasional pinpricks of needle-sharp teeth. By the time they were finally gone, my entire body was covered in their souvenir nibbles.

Before I could rise, however, a new sound greeted my ears… that of footsteps in the grass. My eyes rose to meet a familiar raven-haired, ashen-skinned face. I felt my face beginning to burn, this was not how I would’ve wanted her to find me, sprawled on the ground after having just become bat-food.

“What in the name of Kynareth are you doing in here?” Faith’s disapproving voice came sharply through the brambles as she returned her bow to her back. Not even an echo resounded through the trees. “What are you doing down there?” she then added as I got to my unsteady feet.

“Having an early dinner with some new friends,” I retorted snidely, coaxing a small healing spell to my fingertips. The open nibble marks on my arms promptly vanished, though an itchy feeling remained behind. It wasn’t all that powerful a spell. My parents taught it to me when I was a child so I could ease my pain if I got hurt until I got back home so they could see to the wound properly. Apart from that, it wasn’t much to speak of.

“Aren’t you the party boy,” she returned, her voice heavy with that same disapproval as she moved in to grab the arm I just healed, “come on, I’m taking you out of this place.”

“What’s to run from?” I asked rather aggressively, pulling my arm out of her reach, “I can take care of myself, you know.”

“Like you did with those bats?” Faith argued back, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “Brilliant, inspired, I’m sure General Phillida will be most astounded by your hereto unknown tactical genius.”

“Slaughterfish bite your butt?” I scathed back to her, stung, “Perhaps you might wait and see for yourself before you make any judgement?”

Our increasingly heated argument was then cut short by a rumbling growl, followed by a throaty bark that broke the stagnant air like a whipcrack. A huge, black-furred wolf pounced from the nearby bushes right for Faith. Caught unawares, it threw her to the floor, its toothy maw a vice upon her arm as she yelled in shock and surprise.

My right hand dove to my quiver as I filled my lungs with the forest air. Slowly, I let half of it go as I nocked a steel-headed arrow and drew the string back. I quickly tensed my muscles, listening to the creaking wood as the bow staff followed, my eyes deeply focused upon the dark creature savaging the elf. Then, satisfied I would strike true, my fingers upon the flaxen string loosed.

A fleshy thud greeted my ears as the arrow buried itself deep in the wolf’s torso. This was immediately followed by a loud yelp, and then the body went limp. After several seconds, Faith pushed the creature off of her, a vicious curved dagger in her uninjured hand dyed red by the creature’s blood. Replacing my bow onto my back, I moved over to help Faith up.

“I did tell you I knew what I was doing,” I stated simply, holding out my hand to her.

“Well, aren’t you my glowing hero,” Faith replied, voice heavy with irony. She quickly got to her feet, refusing my hand, and quickly checked over her arm. The bite had gone deep, straight through the hardened leather clad upon her skin, and the wound was bleeding freely. She quickly reached into a side-pocket of her own rucksack, removed a small vial filled with swirling red liquid, bit off the stopper, and drained it.

“I hope you see why we can’t stay here, now,” Faith continued, tossing the empty bottle to the ground and examining her now uninjured hand, “Shadow Wolves aren’t even close to the most vicious creatures you’ll find in these woods.”

“Point taken,” I replied icily, “right back the way we came in, I presume?”

“Naturally,” Faith answered, wiping her dagger on the wolf’s dark fur before sheathing it and grabbing her bow off the ground. “We’d better get moving before it gets… wait, what was that?”

A dull thudding noise was now making its way towards our little grove. The sounds were synchronized, which indicated more footsteps. Something very large indeed was approaching; probably because it had heard the racket that enormous wolf made, or perhaps it could smell the fresh blood.

I turned my gaze back in the direction Faith had proposed, but the undergrowth was so dense and the tiny trail so confused it was impossible to see anything within a few feet away. Nevertheless, my ears told me the creature was coming from there.

“Whatever it was, it’s coming from the way you want to go,” I repeated aloud, though at not much more than a whisper. *THUD* “And it’s getting closer,” I added not long after, nocking a second arrow and tensing my bow’s flaxen string.

“And you’re going to fight it?” Faith whispered back in bemused disbelief, “What are you going to do, stub his toes?”

“I’m going to be prepared, unless you have a better idea,” I retorted sternly. *THUD* Why did she find it so hard to just bite her tongue and trust in me right now? Didn’t this wretched place make it obvious enough we would need to work together to get out of here?

*CRASH*

An enormous, furry, three-eyed monstrosity smashed his way through the bramble thicket we were staring at so intently. He took one glance at us, then opened his maw filled with glistening sharp teeth and let out a throaty howl, beating his long, clawed arms to his chest.

“How about run!” Faith cried out. I didn’t need telling twice, quickly returning my arrow to quiver, I turned tail and dashed away as quick as I could in the opposite direction of the creature, Faith not far on my heels.

Our feet took us through bramble thickets with treetops so thick no rain could even hope to penetrate their suffocating, tangled branches and tiny clearings. Saplings had mysteriously managed to take hold in what little light they provided, and their roots were drowning in the torrent from above. Every so often, one of us would glance back, but the sight was always the same. The giant creature in hot pursuit remained ever present upon our eyes. The noise he made in his pursuit was deafening, be it crashing through overgrown hedges or tearing his way through the tangled mesh of low-hanging branches. Despite the racket, it still amazed me how none of our sounds seemed to echo. It was like the shadows within this forest were feeding off of them.

My clothes were being torn to shreds by the constant diving through the leafy thickets and thorny brush, and I was using my bow more than I would have liked to shield my face from lashing branches, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was to keep that thing from killing me right now. I danced my way through the city of trunks, gently hopping the many exposed roots. If my foot were to be caught in one, I knew it would be over. I don’t know how long I ran, but I soon reached another clearing. This one much larger than the tiny holes in the canopy we passed last. There was but one problem, the world had ended… again.

I barely brought myself to a skidding halt upon the slick, water-smoothed rocks of the brand new cliff face, fighting for balance. If it weren’t for Faith quickly grabbing hold of the scruff of my shirt and pulling me back, I might have gone over. I noticed her make a quick motion with one of her hands, a small trail was on the other side of the stream, winding its way uphill. Wasting no time, we quickly leapt across the swollen, roaring stream and dashed our way along.

A deafening howl sounded from behind, telling us we still had not managed to shake the beast. Ignoring the protests of my heart and lungs, I pushed myself to just continue running as fast as I could. It wasn’t hard to find motivation, not with death hot on my heels.

“There, get in that cave!” Faith shouted back to me, indicating a small hole in a nearby rock face big enough to admit us, but not our assailant. As quick as we could, we sprinted to the entrance, and dove inside.

“Stay there!” Faith commanded me, conjuring a small flame into her hand to light a torch as she made her way back to the mouth of the cavern.

“Are… you… insane?!” I shouted after her, panting deeply, “what on Nirn… do you think… you’re doing?”

The three-eyed beast had rumbled his way to the entrance. He took one look inside, then let out another low howl before pounding a gigantic clawed fist against the rock, sending vast thickets of dust tumbling from the ceiling. After quickly stepping back to avoid being possibly crushed, Faith then continued forward until she was as close to the creature as she dared, and waved her torch violently.

“GET AWAY!” She screamed, brandishing the torch as if it were a sword, “BACK! BACK!”

The creature gave another low howl, but flinched violently away from the flaming stick held by the Dunmer. She swung at it again, and he staggered back, staring intently at the flickering fire with an unmistakable fear in his three eyes. One more swing, and he stampeded away.

Breathing deeply, and clutching a stitch at her side, Faith then tossed the torch down on the cave floor at the mouth and returned inside.

“Troll,” she replied to my quizzical expression, “quite strong, but they come with a mortal fear of fire.”

“And a voracious appetite,” I added, wind and voice slowly returning to me, “fast, too.”

“Okay… well, looks like we don’t have much choice anymore,” Faith began thinking aloud, wiping her brow clean of sweat and rain, “We’re too deep into this forest now, and that troll will be waiting for us to go back the way we came. We’re just going to have to go south and hope for the best.”

She sighed deeply, then turned to look to me. Though I expected hatred and dislike in her eyes for the predicament we now found ourselves in, what I saw instead surprised me. Concern filled her gaze, as well as a relentless determination. I found myself silently thanking her for having sense enough to not toss blame around and spread discourse and hatred when lives most obviously depended on cooperation. It may have been a ludicrous thought, but perhaps she was genuinely worried for my safety?

“Looks like you got your wish,” she then said flatly. “I hope you kept your wits about you in our little jog, you’re going to need them. We’ve got two days of this nightmarish woodland in front of us now.”

Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 18 2011, 08:49 PM

And so an entirely new adventure begins!

I'm looking forward to where this takes us. Out of the usual, that's for certain!

Posted by: mALX Feb 18 2011, 10:16 PM

QUOTE

Lightning flashed violently overhead as I made my way across the top of the cliff face, and the thunderclap that followed not long after sent chills down my spine, not because it was so loud, but because of how unearthly quiet it was. Despite the torrent overhead, the entire forest was utterly still and completely silent. It was like the towering yews had stolen the voice of the heavens, and all that existed now was within their gnarled branches and broad trunks. The longer I spent in within, the more I felt I was venturing not into the unknown of the wilderness… but into the iron shackles of a prison. I briefly paused to string my bow and load the quiver at my hip.


What a scene !! This paragraph surpasses reading and brings us into experiencing it with the character - Awesome detail and description !!!

The whole chapter is filled with these moments that lift us into the story that we can experience it firsthand - HUGE WRITE !!!!!

Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 18 2011, 11:19 PM

Bats, a black wolf, and then a troll make for a very adventurous sojourn into the yews. And now Faith and Dere are paired up instead one stalking the other. As h.e.rider said, I can't wait to see where this is going. Great installment! goodjob.gif

Posted by: SubRosa Feb 18 2011, 11:37 PM

Lovely description of the Ancient Yews. It really comes across as a dark, foreboding place. With a thunderstorm to punctuate the creepiness no less! I take it that it is a mod? In any case, it is good choice in the name. The yew is the tree of death, as it is poisonous. Hekate was said to put slips of yew her cauldron.

I figured that critter was a troll. Only a giant, dinosaur-size one! And now it looks like Derelas has found himself in quite the adventure!

Again, I am left wondering about Faith's true motivations. At best she could be a creepy stalker, as she is following Dere around Cyrodiil. But I do not expect the best. Rather I have a creeping sensation that she is working for Mannimarco...


nits:
The longer I spent in within,
I think that in is a holdover from a previous edit.

“Having an early dinner {with} some new friends,”
I think you wanted a with where I inserted it above.

Our feet took us through bramble thickets with treetops so thick no rain could even hope to penetrate their suffocating, tangled branches and tiny clearings where saplings had mysteriously managed to take hold, their roots drowning in the torrent from above.
This is a really long sentence. You might want to think of breaking it up into two, around the point of the tiny clearings.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 18 2011, 11:44 PM

http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=11458

As you can see, I didn't choose the name, but it was fitting enough that I decided to keep the one that already existed. wink.gif

Posted by: Acadian Feb 19 2011, 02:51 AM

A delightfully foreboding place, full of danger. This was fun to read. I liked how the troll yielded to the torch. So it looks like the odd couple will be stuck with each other for a time. What a neat setting for some mystery!

Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 19 2011, 06:15 AM

Hey, nobody needs to know about your bet. That's why I said PM me, and we can talk about splitting the haul later smile.gif

Impressive use of topography here. i don't meant that to sound belittling, because i seriously meant that the environment you describe and utilize is amazing. The one thing I always hate about shows or movies filmed "in the woods" is that they only ever film in apple orchards, and that actual wilderness is a much rougher and more treacherous place than many will acknowledge. I've seen people seriously injured while hiking because they didn't give their due attention to their surroundings.

This chapter worked great on many other levels as well. The frantic chase followed by seeking shelter, coupled with the fact that trolls would recognize and fear something that is so harmful to them, is a great sequence.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 21 2011, 10:54 PM

@rider: We shall take yo to the farthest ends of the earth... and back again. In the meantime, though, we are definitely not having a usual Elder Scrolls solo adventure, as I'm placing heavy emphasis on this forest bringing about character growth for both of them. Treasures will be few and far between, most likely, what is there to find in a dank, deadly yew forest, after all?

@mALX: Many thanks. I strive for my descriptions to be as immersive and enriching as I can possibly make them. Thankfully, I have a decent vocabulary, so that definitely helps.

@Rick: [cliche]Don't worry, Danger is his middle name![/cliche]

@SubRosa: That's your optimism? Still seems mighty pessimistic to me, perhaps Faith could be on the good side, you know? Anyways, I do like myself a female lead with mysterious intentions, so I'm glad that she is indeed a mysterious person to you.
Nits be picked.

@Acadian: A very mysterious place indeed, the Ancient Yews. We shall see many of the secrets it holds over the course of our little adventure.

@Mjolnir: I live in the wilderness, so I have plenty of experience walking riding such dangerous terrain. Indeed, the untamed wild can be quite treacherous, and I've seen enough on my trail-rides to come to have a great respect for just how treacherous they can be. Terrain is also a less-explored way of adding danger to a scene, so I'm glad it worked out so well.
PS: I wonder how long I can go before I run out of nicknames for you? biggrin.gif

@all: Thank you all for your continued support.

next: Time for a bit of spelunking...



Chapter 4-3: Cava Obscura



“This is not going to be an easy journey,” Faith mused, warming her hands on a small fire constructed from wooden torches, lighting the tiny antechamber in its flickering orange glow. Bedrolls had been laid out to one side, for Faith was quick to declare that we would be staying here for the night. “To make sure that troll doesn’t come back,” she told me.

“We’re going to need to check this cave, then,” I replied to her desire to stay. “Who knows what could be living in here besides us?”

“Indeed,” Faith replied, giving her dagger a brief pull to unsheathe it slightly. After a quick inspection to make sure no blood had dried onto the silver blade, she then returned it to its sheath. “Now that we have a fire going, it should be safe enough here, though we are going to need to take sleep in shifts.”

“Should we go together to look around?” I then asked.

“No,” she returned bluntly, “I can move far quieter on my own. Besides, I need you to watch the camp and keep the fire from going out.”

“Very well,” I replied, a mild hint of dejection in my voice, though I could see her point. “Just try not to bring anything back with you if it isn’t shiny, okay?”

Faith responded by rolling her eyes before turning towards the deeper shadows of the cave behind us.




----





Nothing dampens his spirits, Faith thought. She then surrounded herself in a bright green mist with a whispered incantation and watched as her hand faded to become one with the rocks. Good for him, but it does tend to… grate after awhile. Sometimes it’s best to know when to just hush up and let the people who know what they’re into get the job done. Oh, well… that’s a Bosmer for you. Isn’t it ironic how they can hardly ever see the forest for the trees when they’re inside of one?

As she cast another green spiral around herself, the entire cavern ahead became brilliantly visible in a deep blue veil upon her eyes. The passage twisted its way downward into Nirn’s infinite depths. Stepping quietly, but deliberately to avoid prying ears, Faith slowly made her way forth.

After many a dark moment, a rapid scuttling bristled upon the Dunmer’s pointed ears. Cacat, she thought, spiders. She slowly turned the corner, and her fears were confirmed. Two massive arachnids, both easily the size of a chicken, skittered along the moist stone floor, venom dripping menacingly from their rapidly clicking pincers. Faith repressed a shiver, she hated spiders.

Within but a few seconds, the two spiders’ days of skittering legs were ended by two feathery shafts in their hairy abdomens. Grinning faintly to herself, Faith grabbed a small empty bottle from her pocket and brought it to the pincers of one of the arachnids. Devastatingly poisonous, especially when combined with Nightshade or Peony. Also quite valuable, she recited to herself in her mind as the venom slowly dripped into the tiny flask. Once satisfied with the amount, she sealed the glass vessel and shifted her way past the curl-legged corpses.

One brief moment later, the small corridor opened into a massive cavern. Within its black depths rendered clear as day in the blue veil of Night-Eye, Faith could make out many animals… they looked like boar. Wow, we might actually be able to eat well tonight, Faith thought as she drew another bronze-tipped arrow from her quiver.

As she slowly drew the silk string of her bow to her ear, a low roar quickly made Faith do a double-take. She then investigated the shadowy corners closer for the source of the noise. It was a massive brown bear, who then proceeded to yawn loudly, stretching its forelegs out in front of him as his voice echoed throughout the stony chamber.

Perfect, Faith thought, slowly easing the tension from her bowstring. No fresh meat this time, it seems. That damn bear will smell the kill before it even strikes the ground.

At that point, something very odd struck the Dunmer hunter, those boar were not being very subtle about their presence, so why wasn’t that bear defending his home? As quickly as the thought crossed her mind, a new beast crossed into Faith’s vision….

Wait, that’s no beast… is that a person? What in Azura’s name is she doing down he… is she petting that bear?!

Faith vigorously shook her head, convinced that her Night-Eye must be conjuring images… but the Amazonian woman remained ever present. Finally assured that it wasn’t her imagination, the Dunmer then proceeded to slowly back away, utterly stunned by what she just witnessed.




----




“You are not going to believe this,” Faith said, announcing her return in a low, quiet voice that made me jump. “There’s someone already living here.”

“Someone?” I asked, wondering what hidden meaning she must be placing into her words. People don’t live in caves… at least, not in any place I’ve known.

“Yes, it was definitely a person,” Faith replied, “with a pet grizzly, to boot.”

“You’re not trying to yank my chain, are you?” I quickly returned. Perhaps it was possible for people to live in caves nowadays, but I knew it was impossible for them to keep an actual pet bear… unless they were a powerful mage. And why would a mage of such renown want to live in the middle of nowhere? Wait, scratch that, I think I just answered my own question. “Sorry, don’t answer that,” I quickly added.

“Anyways, she seemed to be deep enough inside that we should still be able to stay here for tonight,” Faith then began to reason, “We’ll just need to keep the smoke outside and the noise as low as we can. I really hope you don’t snore.”

“I’ll be sure to ask if we’re still alive in the morning,” I replied, collecting a travel ration from my pack. “I’ll take the first watch.”

“Trying to be noble?” Faith then asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I’m just trying to be a team player,” I rebutted. “Besides, you need the rest more than I do right now.”

“And your reasoning for that is what, exactly?” Faith continued, now with her other eyebrow raised.

“Because of my birthsign,” I explained, “the Steed. Believe me, it was a good run, but it didn’t tire me out nearly as much as you might think.”

Faith then moved to stoke the fire. The light of the dancing flames licked her face in their gentle glow, one that her eyes did not return. Her energy was clearly spent, and she definitely needed the sleep, despite her insistence that she didn’t.

“Look,” I continued, “You’re obviously the more experienced adventurer here, so I think keeping you rested is pretty damn important. I’m not trying to be noble, I’m trying to keep things in perspective. If we don’t stop arguing with each other over who does what, we’re both going to end up troll-food come tomorrow.”

“I know,” Faith replied, holding up a hand to stop me. “I just find it hard to trust someone who’s never been someplace dangerous in his life...”

“And your point is what exactly?” I cut her off, “You, of all people, should know that you can’t think straight when you’re tired, which you are.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who needs protecting here,” Faith retorted, her voice beginning to rise, “I didn’t get us into this mess in the first place.”

“This is childish,” I sighed, shaking my head, “I know you know that you’re exhausted, I can see it in your eyes. You really need to put the superiority complex aside for a minute….”

“This has nothing to do with superiority!” Faith argued, voice rising further, “This has to do with keeping us alive.”

“Which I’m trying to say you can do that much better if you’re rested!” I countered, growing exasperated. Why did she have to make this so difficult? We’re arguing over who gets to sleep, by Mara’s sake!

“Fine!” Faith then snapped, making a beeline for her bedroll and tossing herself in to look towards the wall. “We’ll do it your way then. Gods preserve us that we may make it out alive!”

I needed some air. Taking my still yet to be eaten travel ration, I made my way to the mouth of the cave and found a seat. Faith was obviously not thinking straight; she was so engrossed in protecting me that she didn’t seem to care about protecting herself. Despite the fact she probably wasn’t going to talk to me for some time, I was glad she finally saw reason. As the shadows of the forest became complete with the last rays of an unseen sun dipping beneath the land for its long slumber, I wondered to myself if all women could be this stubborn.

I gave my head a quick shake, putting the thoughts out of my mind. She’ll come round, sometimes it’s just best you let someone seethe. All I could hope for now as that she would be willing to put our differences aside come tomorrow and just concentrate on leaving this place.

Posted by: SubRosa Feb 21 2011, 11:27 PM

Ewww, spiders! Yuck. An interesting little cave-dive by Faith, with some intriguing discoveries.

What in Azura’s name is she doing down he… is she petting that bear?!
Sounds like Teresa made a crossover into the DF!

Finally, an amusing little argument, ending in the infamous "F" word! Poor Derelas, that is what he gets for letting the stalker chick tag along with him!


nits:
Nothing dampens his spirits, Faith thought to herself as she surrounded herself in a bright green mist with a whispered incantation.
This sentence runs out a bit. You might think of splitting it into two sentences, like this:
Nothing dampens his spirits, Faith thought. With a whispered incantation, she surrounded herself in a bright green mist .

Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 22 2011, 02:06 AM

That cave-woman makes me think of Ayla and Baby. Hmm . . .

Anyway, I enjoyed the brief peek inside Faith's mind as she explored the cave. Ugh, those spiders sounded disgusting, much like Shelob.

I see you fixed the sentence Sage Rose pointed out. It reads much better now.

And I want to see what happens next!

Posted by: Acadian Feb 22 2011, 02:56 AM

An interesting setting and some fine character development here.

I liked Faith's use of some cave diving magic.

The woman with the bear is very intriguing!

Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 22 2011, 03:03 AM

QUOTE
PS: I wonder how long I can go before I run out of nicknames for you? biggrin.gif


Here, let me help you out. My birthday is the Third of Second Seed, so which movie featuring a hammer-wielding leader of awesomeness comes out just a few days after? Score!

There's a hammer in The Elder Scrolls that keeps showing up.

Translated to Latin, it reads "Dux Malleus." ('Dux' was a generic term for 'leader' with no set rank or station attached.) Since that gives us the English 'Duke' we simply need to see what comes out ON my Birthday (Double Score!). The fact that I am fond of destruction-magic-overkill, or 'nuking', adds to that...

Shorten 'Malleus' to 'Mal.' Add that to 'Captain.' Add the wonderful and unbelievably awesome Nathan Fillion for a role that was too popular, but cut too short...

Heck, Nathan Fillion!

AND, his current character on TV.

...Oh, and a Buffy-verse role of said actor that was just plain creepy (maybe we should let Acadian have that one).

I'm sure there's more, but now you've got (1,2,3...6) at least six more installments before you have to think up some more. Incidentally, we could start a game called "Six Degrees of Captain Hammer's Nicknames." I wonder if we can incorporate a Bacon-index in it somewhere...

But I digress. On to the post itself.

Are the spiders added by a mod, and if so, which one? I keep some Daedra Venin for it's poison effects, but after finishing the main quest I lose the ability to harvest more and end up relying on the Arch-Mage's chest of duplication for more.

The argument itself was well done, and I found myself recalling a number of times when I foolishly believed in the truth of the f-word. Poor Derelas. May he find the way to see the truth past the words.

Posted by: mALX Feb 22 2011, 03:41 AM

I suspect the bear-hugger's last name is Draconis, lol. I'm surprised Faith's shouting didn't rouse her to come attack the two of them! Great Chapter !!! Derelas really seems to be coming into his own now !!!

Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 23 2011, 07:40 PM

Great bit of character building. These two are going to be a joy to follow. My guess for the cave-dwelling bear-handler is her name starts with an Sprig and ends with a gan. I suspect that the spiders might be modded? Only because I have never seen one. Either way, I am with SubRosa on this...YUCKO! I detest spiders!

Looking forward to the next installment... goodjob.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 24 2011, 11:32 PM

@SubRosa: There be plenty of creepy-crawlies out there for you in this one. If you would wish it, I can warn you in the future if there might be some arachnophobic segments so you can be prepared for them.

@rider: Have you been reading dirty literature again? Naughty Haute! nono.gif

@Acadian: The bear-woman is rather central to this set of chapters, as you will soon find out.

@Volendrung: The mod in question is MMM. If spiders freak you out, you can also turn them off if you wish. Yes, the F-word (as I learned in middle school) definitely contains hidden, but obvious meaning. Never trust a man or woman who uses it too much.

@mALX: Have you been eavesdropping on my PMs again, you minx? nono.gif

@Rick: Again, if enough people wish it, I will post warnings for when there is a spider-heavy chapter in the works. Please let me know if I should.

@all: I believe it is time we brushed up on a bit of the lore involved in this story. I did my best to ensure it would connect and play nice to all the other Bosmeri stories already posted, so I hope you enjoy it.

next: We meet two new very important figures... and a bear.



Chapter 4-4: The Horse and the Bear



*ROAR*

My reverie of boredom was shattered by a glass-shattering guttural noise. I turned to a paralyzing sight. A giant bear was stood upon his hind legs, dwarfing the ashen-skinned woman who’s hand now instinctively swung to her hip for her blade.

“The nature-hater has slain our kin. Teddy will eat sweetly tonight!” a cackling voice rang through as the bear came crashing back to all fours. The sheer weight of his landing caused Faith to stagger back skittishly. With another loud roar of indescribable rage, the great mammal swung his paw upwards, claws gleaming in the fire’s dying glow.

“STOP!” I cried out instinctively. I then watched in utter amazement as the bear gave pause, turning to blink in my direction. Then, miraculously, he lowered his paw to the ground and stood stark still. A young woman dressed in furs then appeared from around the creature’s hindquarters, a look of confusion upon her shadowed face.

“The Tree-Lover has commanded Teddy still,” she began, her voice matching her face, though oddly bearing with it no vestiges of insanity. “Why does he deny me vengeance?”

“Vengeance?” I repeated bemusedly, my eyes darting to Faith. She had done a very good job of turning herself into statue, as she was now standing just as still as that bear. She still hadn’t bothered to even lower her dagger.

“My darling scuttle-bugs,” she replied tearfully, “They were murdered by this one’s feather-bolts and robbed of their glitter!”

“Wait, those giant spiders were your pets?” Came Faith’s astonished voice at last.

“Be silent, Ash-Breather,” the strange animal-woman snapped coldly, “you are a thief and a murderer. You deserve not the life that was given to you.”

A low growl was beginning to emanate from the bear’s raised hackles, informing me that he was fast losing interest in his complacency. I would need to think fast if I wanted to keep things from becoming any messier.

“Listen, miss,” I began feverishly, desperately racking my thoughts so I might head off the woman’s rage. “She obviously didn’t know those spiders meant something to you. We’re just two travelers lost in the woods, driven into hiding by a troll. Believe me, we want to leave here as much as you want us gone.”

“Someone must pay for my scuttle-bugs!” The woman cried out. “Their glitter is robbed! They have no hope for survival in the next world!”

“Glitter?” came Faith’s bemused response, “what do you mean, glitter?”

“Their venom, you fool!” The woman almost screamed back, pointing an accusing finger at the Dunmer, “How do you expect a spider to survive without venom?!”

“Here,” Faith quickly and somewhat fearfully replied. She pulled a small, glass flask out of her pocket, “Their venom is in here. You can have it if you want it.”

“Did I not tell you hush?” The woman scathed, sending Faith’s jaw snapping closed once again. The bear-woman then approached Faith slowly, a hand reaching out for the bottle. When Faith made no protest, she snatched it from her hand and clasped it lovingly in her own. She then turned back to me, the fires of anger in her eyes now dispelled.

“Perhaps the Ash-Breather has some humility,” she said, gently caressing the bottle of venom. She then slipped it into the folds of her furs and turned to face me. “Very well, Bosmer. I will let her be… for now.”

“Wait, that’s it?” I then asked apprehensively.

“Not in the slightest,” she responded, “But if you wish it, she will be spared.”

“Thank you,” I replied, my body fighting the urge to soar away with difficulty as the bear retreated into the shadows. Now that I wasn’t so focused on that furry monstrosity, I could get a proper look at the woman who commanded his respect. Her hair was long and brown. She wore it lank and though it bore no sophisticated styling, was not unkempt. Her deep brown eyes seemed to bore into your soul with their intense gaze, one I was fairly certain kept that bear docile. Her face bore no markings of age, and her body was well toned and bristled with feminine strength.

“My name is Sibylla Draconis,” she then introduced herself to me. Her voice now much calmer and more concise. “I am a shepherd to the many creatures of Kynareth in these woodlands. I have devoted my life to His will, and so bear no worldly possessions one might call ‘civilized.’”

“Well met, Sibylla,” I returned holding my open hand forward with my palm facing her in the traditional Bosmer greeting. She then reached forward in the same way and touched her hand to mine, thus declaring herself friend. “I hope you can forgive the misgivings of my friend here, she does tend to think with her tongue before her brain.”

Faith responded to this with a blatant scoff, but earned a chuckle from Sibylla.

“Anyways, what brought you up here?” I continued, “Did you hear the argument?”

“Teddy heard,” Sibylla replied, returning to the bear’s side and leaning up against his massive hindquarters, “And when we were on the way up I found my darling scuttle-bugs… well, you call them spiders, had been killed. I don’t like that word, by the way, ‘spider’,” she then veered off, her gaze drifting. “Too vicious, too fearful a word.”

She then turned back to me. “I apologize, I may have come off a bit loopy when we first met,” she turned her gaze downward. She might have been blushing from embarrassment, but it was hard to tell by the dimly flickering light of our small fire. “I tend to get that way when people kill my woodland creatures.”

“I understand,” I replied, “it’s hard to lose a pet.”

“As it is your family?” Sibylla then revealed, quietly so that only I might hear her words. Her response startled me half to death. She knew?

“How do you know that?” I asked indignantly, shock heavy on my tongue.

“It would seem your guide deigned to tell,” she responded. “He must have been expecting us to meet.”

“My guide?” came my confused reply.

“Your spirit guide; every Bosmer has one.” She explained, “Usually they take the form of an animal such as a raven or lion, but you can occasionally find a few with a human guide, though they are rare.”

“So who is mine?” I asked.

“Does your birthsign not tell all?” She responded in a mysterious tone.

“The Steed?”

“Equine,” Sibylla corrected, “Spirit of the Horses. He has blessed you with his heart and lungs, and to this day has guided your footsteps. I believe he wanted us to meet, what else might have drawn you here into this accursed grove?”

“How did you speak to him, then, if he is my guide?” I then asked, still very perplexed. My gaze met Faith’s and she seemed to be just as lost as I was over all this.

“Why don’t you ask him?” was her only reply. I had to restrain rolling my eyes with immense difficulty. How was I supposed to know how to communicate with someone who, until now, I didn’t even know existed?

"Really now, it’s a lot easier than you think," I jumped almost a foot into the air when I heard the response. The voice sounded so familiar, faintly nagging… no, more like a mild whinny behind the vocals. This must be him.

"Equine," I thought, "is that you?"

"Yes, it is," came the response. "I believe this is not the first time we spoke, as well."

My mind streamed backwards. A dead Khajiit, blood spilling upon the sun-kissed stone road. The keen steel edge in my hand bathed in the weeping red sorrow of stolen life. The feeling of my very soul being rent in two. "I remember," I told him.

"Very good, and it would seem you have," Equine returned. "I hope you’re visit to Cheydinhal was fruitful?"

"I got what I went there for, so I would believe so," I answered. Even if it was a rather unpleasant stay. Silence then followed. Faith was still rooted in place, likely extraordinarily confused as to what was going on. Sibylla, on the other hand, was smiling.

“See?” she broke the silence with a voice filled with approval, “He always listens, you need only ask.”

“That was incredible,” was all I could muster up in reply, my voice still rather shaky. There was still one question on my mind for Equine though: 'why did Sibylla allow Faith to live?'

"You may think her not much more than a creepy stalker right now, but she is much more than that," Equine quickly responded. "Things will become clearer once you leave the Yews. Sibylla knows this, as I have told her just how important she will become to your life. She respects those who love and live with nature."

“Now come, both of you,” Sibylla then commanded. “If you are going to live to find your way out, you will need my assistance.” I was quick to follow, but Faith still needed some time to figure out she wasn’t a stalagmite before she came along.




----




“You can rest in here for tonight,” Sibylla directed us to lay our bedrolls down by the fire built within her cavernous living chamber, smoke streaming through a small hole dug into the ceiling nearby. “We will discuss your travel options come morning. Oh, and by the way, Ash-Breather,” she turned to Faith with a scathing look in her eye, “try not to kill any more of my flock while you are here.”

“I resent that name, you know,” Faith mumbled to herself, dropping her bedroll. Sibylla ignored her. She proceeded to continue her silent treatment as she flung herself into the folds. I however, couldn’t hope to sleep, not with all the questions I had for my newfound guide. Why did you want me to meet Sibylla? Did you have anything to do with me coming to Cyrodiil? Does this have something to do with my parents? And what about those strange dreams with the red-eyed man?

"Calm yourself, young Elf," came the soft whinny of Equine’s voice in my head, "you have twelve human lifetimes ahead of you still. We have always been connected, but you rarely found the moments where you would actually reach out and speak to me. I guided you to Sibylla so you might understand our link better. It is very important that you do."

"Why didn’t my parents tell me about you," I then asked. "Why did they keep your existence from me?"

"They didn’t. They were taken from you before they had the chance to forge the bond."

"What do you mean, forge the bond?"

"Our bonds are forged through the hunt," Equine explained, "When a Bosmer makes his first kill, he opens the door to his guide. You’ve done this already, with the Khajiit. Most do not meet their guides for the first time until they are of twenty-five years upon Mundus. The First Hunt is a rite of passage for all Bosmer, opening the doors to their guides and showing the world that they have grown. I do regret that this opportunity was stolen from you, but I am glad you found your way to me nonetheless. Even if it was by a path most might never follow."

"And what did Sibylla have to do with that," I then wondered. "How did she communicate with you if you’re my guide?"

"Nothing," Equine responded, "she just… showed you the way. Her affinity with Kynareth makes her a friend of Y’ffre. In fact, Kynareth is Y’ffre, or rather the Bosmeri version of Him; all Tamrielic deities take the form of the Aedra. I can speak to her through him, and that is also how she knows my name."

"And she can hear you? I thought the only people who can hear the guides were their Bosmer companions?"

"We are not exclusive, we simply choose one to follow. Any can communicate with us if they wish it. By the same coin, we may communicate with any we wish. However, only those who understand the ways of nature, such as Sibylla, might understand our words. To others, we simply sound like any other animal."

"Just one more question, then. What about the red-eyed man I’ve dreamt of since my arrival?"

"Ah, that I know nothing about, but that Sera Dresdan is deeply involved. As I said, bear with her until you have left the Yews. Things will become clearer then. Sleep now, Derelas of Elder Root. You need your rest as much as she does now."

________________________________________________________________________________



Post Script: Kynareth is normally depicted as being female in the game, but not here. Kynareth is male in this Fic, and this is due to my specific lore that all of the Tamrielic deities that have been created by the races of Mundus refer back to the eight Aedra who created Nirn.

However, if you would, the gender of Kynareth will actually be disputed in this fic. Nature lovers, such as the Bosmer and Sibylla, depict Kynareth (AKA Y'ffre) as male. The Imperial sect (I refuse to call it the Imperial cult), however, depicts Kynareth (incorrectly) as female.

Posted by: SubRosa Feb 25 2011, 12:05 AM

Ash-Breather
A good epithet!

I am a shepherd to the many creatures of Kynareth in these woodlands. I have devoted my life to His will,
His ? Kynareth is depicted as being female. Was another deity supposed to be in there as well? Or did you give Kynareth a sex change? Ahhh, I see you did in a manner of speaking, along with a name change, at the end.

Quite a bit going on here, with Derelas meeting not only the bear-girl, but also his fairy godfather.


nits:
You may think her not much more than a creepy stalker right now, but she is much more than that, Equine quickly responded. Things will become clearer once you leave the Yews. Sibyilla knows this, as I have told her just how important she will become to your life. She respects those who love and live with nature.
I think you meant for quotation marks in the dialogue here?

Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 25 2011, 12:41 AM

Really cool chapter here. It keeps the hook firmly set, and I am certainly not fighting being reeled in! goodjob.gif

mALX gets the kewpie doll for the correct guess on the bear-hugger's identity. I was way off! tongue.gif

WTG with the Lore! I envy those that are Lore savvy. I am so Lore-illiterate that I am constantly using the UESP Wiki for reference. embarrased.gif

nits -

...well, you call them spiders, had been killed. I don’t like that word, by the way, ‘spider,’” she then veered off, her gaze drifting.
This should be 'spider',"

The other nit was already pointed out by SubRosa. Except that instead of quotes, I believe that Italics should have been used for Equine's words.

This brings me to another point, and this is a personal point only, as I am no expert in writing by any means. You have used Italics for several different things. They have been used for dream sequences, for the thoughts of both Faith and Deetsan in scenes that dealt with them, and for entire scenes dealing with the evil side story going on.

I assume that the conversations that occur between Derelas and Equine happen via telepathy, and that Derelas is not speaking aloud. A less confusing way for this to happen might be using Italics for Derelas' side and a different font for Equine's side. Or a different color. Again, this is only a personal preference, but I tend to associate Italics with the uses that you have already used, and now we have a new one. Just food for thought.

--------------------------------

EDIT - I'm reading too many stories...LOL. I have corrected 'Felisa' to 'Faith'. whistling.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 25 2011, 12:49 AM

QUOTE(TheOtherRick @ Feb 24 2011, 04:41 PM) *

I assume that the conversations that occur between Derelas and Equine happen via telepathy, and that Derelas is not speaking aloud. A less confusing way for this to happen might be using Italics for Derelas' side and a different font for Equine's side. Or a different color. Again, this is only a personal preference, but I tend to associate Italics with the uses that you have already used, and now we have a new one. Just food for thought.


Remember 'Til Death do we Part? I am not throwing a new use for italics at you, I am recycling one that has already been used. I will consider changing this if people start getting confused as to who is talking to whom, but I'd prefer to leave it as it is for now. If I do change it, I will likely be Italicizing Dere's thoughts, as well, because I reserve font changes for writings within the writing.

EDIT: I've tried a few things, the fonts will need to remain italicized due to the fact that the conversation is occurring through telepathy, and that adds a problem. Most of the fonts available on this board look too much alike when italicized to make any sort of difference. I tried single quotes, but that was too subtle...

I'm going to try italicized quotations now, that might be the best option.

EDIT AGAIN: I've switched to italicized quotations for Equine and Dere. This way I can play things out like regular dialogue between them, but the italics mark that the conversation is occurring telepathically. Hopefully that should clear up any confusion.

Posted by: Acadian Feb 25 2011, 03:16 AM

Very interesting to read. And enjoyable. I particularly liked the manner of speech you infused Sibylla with; it seems perfect for her.

And Derelas gets a spirit guide!

'I was quick to follow, but Faith still needed some time to figure out she wasn’t a stalagmite before she came along. '
Wonderful comparing Faith to a stalagmite!

On Dere's communication with Equine, it seems they both communicate telepathically to each other. Take some time and fiddle with things if you like, get opinions from readers. There are surely many options. I think the important thing is consistency, which I'm sure you know. I followed things fine, but my elf is very used to having a voice in her head too, so you may not want to listen to us. Lol.

Regarding lore for fan fictions. I think the beauty of fan fiction is to modify the TES world as you see fit. Most of us (very much including you) do so in a way that makes sense. Where it varies from 'by the book' TES lore, we explain within our story, then remain true to it. For example, you will never ever hear a reference to the Green Pact in Buffy Fiction, nor in Teresa Fiction for example. Both of us simply reject the concept and do not paint it into our characters' worlds. I do not recall any reference to spirit guides in TES lore yet, delightfully, we find them in Derelas fiction and Teresa fiction. Buffy will someday learn of her 'totem' stolen straight from 'Clan of the Cave Bear', not TES. I am certain that TES lore does not provide for women whose fate has been touched by Azura as vampire slayers either. I think all our stories are richer for this type of wonderful seasoning as we each cook up our own recognizable, but unique TES world. You will certainly never receive a complaint or nit from this reader for tweaking TES lore to suit your story. goodjob.gif


Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 25 2011, 06:43 AM

4 down, (n) to go!

Sorry, I'm starting a little tally for the nicknames now, since this seems like it could be fun.

But on to the introduction of a quadrupedal spirit guide, and mistress of the forest. I found your introduction of Sibylla entertaining and original, and it wouldn't have been complete without her alternative viewpoint on the natural world. Particularly the "Scuttle bugs" and their "glitter." That's hilarious.

QUOTE
She does tend to think with her tongue before her brain.


How long till she gets her payback for that one? Again, I'm offering my role as bookie...

I've read the conversation between Dere and Equine's in your different formats. While I agree that the font choice is limited to "more left or more right slanted italics," might I suggest a color change. Say, brown, dark green, or dark blue?

Experiment, see what works in the "Preview Post," and go with that.

Posted by: mALX Feb 25 2011, 08:22 AM

This is absolutely my fave chapter of all so far, and that is saying a LOT that it overcame the chapter where he made his first kill. Your creative imagination is beginning a dance now, I can't wait to see where it leads us !!! AWESOME WRITE !!!!!!!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 27 2011, 06:42 AM

@SubRosa: As I explained in the PS edit, Kynareth is considered female by the Imperial sect, but male by the Bosmer and nature lovers (who refer to Him as Y'ffre). In reality, though, I consider the Aedra to be genderless. They are the immortal forces of creation and life. As such, like any god, they are above such petty biases. The Aedra are not living beings, but rather they are the manifestations of life itself. No one truly knows anything about them aside from them creating Nirn by Lorkhan's trickery, and what sphere of being they govern. They are a force, not beings, and as such are above the issue of gender.

@Rick: Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I hope the new format for telepathic conversation is a bit easier for you to read. If not, please let me know, and I'll think on it some more.

@Acadian: I was actually referring to yourself when I spoke of the spirit guides. "but you can occasionally find a few with a human guide, though they are rare." I very much consider a Bosmer's guide to be a part of their lore now, thanks to how well both you and 'Rosa manage them. I am also, as you noted, a big fan of modifying lore within the game, though I always try to maintain the Elder Scrolls feel to my lore modifications. You might find that heavily modding your game will make you a lot more flexible with changing things you don't like, as well.
And you too with the Auel books?! GAAAAAAH!!! wacko.gif wacko.gif wacko.gif

@Darth Maul: She's been living on her own for quite a long time, being that she is a druid. I tend to try to set the mood and idea of a character the moment you meet them, and I wanted to bring to the reader's attention that she was a bit off-key when it came to conversation, especially when emotions were clouding her judgement. Glad it worked for you.
Oh, and that is not a Star Wars reference (well, not completely), a maul is a type of large warhammer.

@mALX: You comments are much appreciated, as always.

@all: We are nearing our centennial post now. you have all been instrumental in keeping me going, and I think I may have finally hit my stride as a writer at this point. I hope to see my skills refined even further as I continue this, as I still have a ways to go yet before I will even consider myself on par with the veterans on these boards.

next: We're off again, on an adventure of extraordinarily mundane proportions.



Chapter 4-5: When you Break a Bone…



“Move quickly southward, for the troll is bound to still be in the area,” Sibylla explained, fingering my map as she went. She had drawn several landmarks onto the parchment. The one she started tracing a path from was a small closed archway that she had labeled “Muck Valley Cavern,” meaning we were there. “Your path will take you west a small ways to avoid the river. Once you reach Mushroom Grove, turn southeast and continue until the sun’s rays darken. You will reach an old, ruined tower here,” she pointed to a small image of a castle tower. “You can wait for morning’s glow there, sheltered from the beasts of the woods.”

“And then after that, we should make the edge of the Yews by fall of darkness on the next day?” I inquired, retracing Sibylla’s directions within my mind’s eye and committing them to memory.

“If you pace quick and ride the breeze, yes,” Sibylla replied, “however, I would suggest putting at least a half-moon’s journey between you and the woods before you settle in.”

“So , about two hours, then?” Faith asked. Now that she was awake and alert, she had found her courage to speak once again. Sibylla eyed Faith with detest at her words.

“If you wish to be so mundane as that, yes,” she returned. “Now, Derelas, do you remember that prayer I taught you?” Sibylla then quizzed me.

“Though your life be taken,
To provide for our need,
Here it ends not,
For your spirit be freed,

Be in peace, my brother,
By wings of Y’ffre may you return to Him,
My body shall be your vessel,
And guide you to His waiting hands.”


“And don’t forget about the heart.” Sibylla told me after I finished my recitation. “You must give the wings and connect your spirit with his so he might find his way to the Everwoods. You remember how to do that, right?”

“Cut the heart from the body, draw two lines from eye to mouth on the head in the creature’s blood, then cut off a portion of heart… and eat it.” I finished, repressing a shudder at the last part.

“That is disgusting…” Faith butted in, pulling a face.

“That is tradition,” Sibylla retorted. “A time-honored Bosmeri ritual. If you wish to leave these woods alive, you would do best to keep the favor of the ones who watch them.”

Faith opened her mouth to argue back, but a throaty growl from Teddy made her reconsider. She closed it again soundlessly.

“Keep that spell I taught you on the front of your mind, you’ll need it if the troll finds you again,” Sibylla continued, turning back to me. “I know it’s not much, but trolls are guaranteed to leave you be if they know you have fire close by.”

“I’m sure it will be most helpful, as you have been,” I replied. “We should probably get moving now if we want to reach that tower before dark.”

“Indeed, you should,” Sibylla agreed. “Move light, but move cautious. If the troll returns, burn him. Safe travels, Bosmer.”




----




The first hours of our journey south passed in silence. The troll seemed to have gotten the message, though, because we saw not a glimpse of his matted, furry body. Faith was apparently still annoyed about what happened last night. This was reinforced by the odd clucking sounds she occasionally made with her tongue along with shaking her head.

“I gather you disapprove of Sibylla?” I voiced in annoyance after she did this again for the umpteenth time.

“You forget I’m not a druid, like you obviously are with your city-slicking ways,” Faith retorted snidely, voice heavy with sarcasm. “Ash breather… I’ll have her breathing ash if I see her again,” she then added under her breath.

“I’d tell you to lay off,” I then began in reply, “but… well, she did sick a bear on you.”

“How did you get her to stop, by the way?” Faith then inquired, abandoning pretense and apparently completely forgetting she was mad at me. “I know Bosmer can command smaller creatures to their will, but a grizzly? That’s unheard of.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know, either,” I returned, silently voicing the same question to Equine.

“You give yourself too little credit,” he responded, “You don’t yet know what you are capable of, and it is not my place to tell you.”

“Gee, thanks,” I voiced aloud, “very helpful.”

“Umm… who are you talking to?” Faith was looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a quizzical expression. I felt my face begin to burn, I hadn’t meant to say that aloud.

“Oh… uhh, my spirit guide.” I quickly replied.

“Oh, this again…” Faith scoffed unsurprisingly. “Listen, you can believe in whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to take the word of some loony Druid at fa… WHOA!!”

As we passed into a large clearing, the first we’d seen in the past two days, a loud whinny announced the presence of a very startled wild horse. He then proceeded to rear. We both deftly jumped backward to avoid the thrashing hooves until he settled them firmly back down on the ground. With that, he turned tail and bolted, his gray mane tossed behind him in a fury of speed and he snorting his displeasure loudly.

“By the Gods,” Faith then softly exclaimed, clutching at her chest. “What is that horse doing in the middle of these woods… and all alone? And what are you grinning about?!”

My mind was not on the words spewing from Faith’s mouth, but rather on that horse. Somehow, I had a fleeting feeling how it got there, and could almost hear Equine laughing. “Show off.”

“It might do you best not to verbally assault my guide any more,” I told her. “He very nearly struck you down there.”

“I just can’t win, can I?” Faith returned exasperatedly, grabbing for the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Alright, I get it. I’ll let this go.”

“Good to hear,” I replied. “Anyways, do you think this is the clearing Sibylla told us about?”

“It’s got to be,” Faith quipped, pointing toward a large grove of mushrooms growing nearby. We then moved in for a closer look. Though rather small, their deep steel-blue complexion shone through the lush green grass with the rippling sheen of a small pond. One might almost see the sky through them if they looked hard enough.

“Steel-blue Entoloma,” Faith began reciting, kneeling down beside them. “Edible, but very hot. They also contain much larger Magicka pools than other plants; useful to alchemists.”

“You know, for an ash-breathing druid hater, you do seem to know your plants well.”

Faith responded by glaring daggers at me.

“Listen,” Faith began in a heavily aggravated tone, “I don’t care what that fetching woman says about me, but I do have a problem with her filling your head with the same dreck. Do you know what Ash-breather means? No? Well, figure it out! I’ve had enough of being ridiculed like I’m just some plant-burning, animal-slaughtering n’wah! Back off!”

With that, she stormed off. She left me standing alone, struck dumb, and blinking very stupidly as I wondered what nerve I had touched.




----




“Listen, I know this may be the last thing you want to hear, but I’m sorry.” It took me several minutes to muster up the courage to speak to Faith again after her outburst. When she was done ranting, she ran to the edge of the clearing and fell with her back against one of the yews, refusing to look anywhere near me. I don’t think I ever felt dumber in my life than I did now. Those words left me before I had a chance to even think of the implications. The sheer irony of this predicament was not lost on me either.

“Sometimes it just feels like the world hates me,” Faith then began to speak. She still refused to look at me, though, and didn’t seem to be addressing me either. “I stick my neck out at danger time and time again, and what do I get for it? ‘You’re a fool, you hateful Dunmer, you don’t deserve the life you have.’ Why do I bother with these people? If anyone doesn’t deserve to live, it’s those bunch of bigots down the way of Cyrodiil City. They don’t know what it’s like to live anywhere outside their marble mansions and pools of Septims….”

She then turned to look at me, and I was utterly shocked to see her purple-flushed face was streaked with tears.

“I thought you’d be different,” She continued, “that you would understand what it meant to be wronged by the world and never see another person give a cliffracer’s beak about it. I still want to believe that, but…I can’t see if I should anymore.”

Her words caused me more confusion than they did enlightenment. Different in what way? What exactly is she keeping from me? No… think before you speak, you foolish elf. The last thing she needs is to have her motives questioned right now. I sank to my knees next to her, “I meant no insult by my words, I didn’t know that ash-breather was really so bad a term.”

“It’s a lot like when someone calls you a tree-hugger,” Faith replied, wiping her eyes dry. “Do you like it when someone calls you that?”

“Not at all,” I replied, “I just… spoke before I thought. And don’t say what I think you’re about to say, I feel like enough of an idiot already.”

“What did you think I was going to say?” Faith then inquired, her eyebrows slightly raised, though this time not out of anger.

“Well, you know…” I began sheepishly, “about what I said about you when we first met Sibylla. How you speak before you think? I retract that, by the way, as I’ve proven quite well just now that applies much more to me.”

Faith responded with a light chuckle. “Oh, that. That didn’t actually occur to me, but now that you told me…” she finished, her eyes gleaming, this time not from tears. The impish grin spreading across her face certainly didn’t help matters, either.

“Save it for when we get out of here, please,” I requested, feeling my face growing hot once again. I then stood back up, offering my hand to Faith to assist her to her feet. This time, she took it.

“We can work out our differences later,” Faith said, agreeing with my silent thoughts. “We’ve lost enough time as it is. Now, which way did Sibylla say we go from here?”

Posted by: mALX Feb 27 2011, 07:15 AM

I have never seen Sibylla drawn out in any fic before - you have given me a totally different outlook on her - reading this tempts me to pop into the cave when I am NOT on a DB quest to see if she is friendly when not being attacked !!! Awesome characterization !!!

I am excited about the spirit guide Equine! (especially providing a horse for him!) SubRosa added spirit guide "Fox" to her story - a thrilling addition - intriguing to me because I knew nothing about them and wanted to learn more instantly !! AWESOME WRITE, TK !!!

Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 27 2011, 02:43 PM

I really enjoyed the interaction between Faith and Derelas in the latter part of the chapter. It rang true as two people thrown together by chance learn bits and pieces about each other. The hint of Faith's background is tantalizing while explaining some more things about her character, flaws and all. And Derelas is so charming as he struggles so hard with being a typical clueless male. wink.gif I like that they have just enough respect for each other to listen to each other. It makes me want to see a romance blossom between them.

Posted by: Grits Feb 27 2011, 03:35 PM

“Your spirit guide; every Bosmer has one.” She explained, “Usually they take the form of an animal such as a raven or lion, but you can occasionally find a few with a human guide, though they are rare.” smile.gif

Great to see Sibylla as a real person! I really enjoyed her way of speaking.

Faith and Derelas bickering as they walked through the woods sounded very natural. As did the blush and hand clasp at the end. happy.gif

Though rather small, their deep steel-blue complexion shone through the lush green grass with the rippling sheen of a small pond.
I must be spending too much time with an Atronach sign. I even got a thrill when I saw these in Derelas’ story! laugh.gif

Having Equine available for a silent chat or a sudden manifestation should be very rewarding. He already has a lot of personality!

Posted by: SubRosa Feb 27 2011, 06:40 PM

I second the others who said that they enjoy the speech patterns and word choices of Sibylla. They instantly make her stand out as unique.

Faith's storming off was nicely done, along with the frustration and skepticism that led her there. They give her depth and feeling. Likewise with her later semi-rant and tears. You make it clear that she has a history, and a bad one.

give a cliffracer’s beak about it.
A wonderful setting-friendly phrase!



nits:
You forget I’m not a druid, like you obviously are with your city-slicking ways
This seemed incongruous. Usually the term druid makes one think of a wilderness holy person (although historically they were much more than that), making it feel strange to link that with the city remark.

Posted by: ghastley Feb 27 2011, 09:27 PM

I always thought that Sibylla deserved a bit more background in the game. You get to have some dialog with her siblings to help you decide if you like them or not (even if it's just [SNORT] from Matthius), but she's already decided to hate you before you reach her in all the games I've played. But that quest is the least comprehensible of the whole DB line, anyway. All the others have some hint of who might benefit from the murders. The only theory I ever came up with was that the DB wanted Applewatch.

I assume that spiders are added by a mod I don't run. Her cave's always full of mountain lions for me. I think the bears are leveled and everyone gets those, so they're a good choice for her favorite.

Faith continues to be an enigma, of course, and you're revealling her at just the right pace to keep this story going for a long time. Want more!

Posted by: Acadian Feb 28 2011, 01:40 AM

This was lovely! I'm delighted how you seem to be developing Derelas and Faith. Initially, Faith seemed a touch overbearing, but it is nice to see Derelas coming into his own, and some vulnerability in Faith. The interaction between the two is a joy to read, and singing perfectly with just the right amount of sparks, give and take. smile.gif

Sibylla's manner of speech continues to be delightful. It would be tough I imagine to maintain for a primary character, but is such a treat in a supporting character as she seems to be.

We get to meet Equine! Magically done! I loved how Derelas got a touch confused in speaking aloud unintentionally to Equine. An easy mistake to make when you have a voice in your head! laugh.gif

This is not a nit, but a tiny suggestion I humbly submit for your consideration:
'Sibylla eyed her with detest at her words.'
Repetition in close proximity is always a challenge during edits. The more minor the word is (her and he are very minor words for example), the less noticeable it is. Nevertheless, I did happen to note it and couldn't help wondering if something as simple as this would help: 'Sibylla eyed the Dunmer with detest at her words'.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 2 2011, 10:09 PM

@mALX: Unfortunately, Sibylla is always aggressive in game (her aggression is set to 80 if you look up her stats). You can talk to her if you get her disposition high enough and cast a few calming spells, but she has no unique dialogue. She is just one of hopefully many generic NPCs in this story that I shall make unique.

@rider: If we start speculating who Dere gets to romance in this story, heads are going to start rolling. Seeing what mALX and 'Rosa were up to in Julian's thread was dirty enough for me. I am glad you have become attached to the twosome, though, because their adventures are far from over.

@Grits: I always like to hear that about my dialogue! I put a pretty big effort into making sure it flows well together and sounds like two people really talking to each other.

@Rosa: I think you missed the sarcasm in that sentence. I know perfectly well that it was incongruous, but that's only if you take it literally. If you add in a sarcastic tone, it makes a lot more sense. Still, sarcasm is difficult to convey in text, so I've made it a bit more obvious.

@Ghastley: Martigen's Monster Mod be the one. I'm running OOO+MMM on my game, so a lot of my dungeons get re-populated with more diverse creatures.

@Acadian: Indeed, if this were a story about her, it would get pretty hard to maintain that speech pattern. I do like to imbibe my side characters with mountains of personality, but keep it rather subdued for the main characters. This way, I can demonstrate the protagonist's personality over a longer stretch of time, instead of right off the bat as I do with supporting cast.
I took your suggestion, as I try to maintain a broad vocabulary across chapters.

@all: If any are wondering, http://img222.imageshack.us/i/equineshotexample.jpg/ It was rather hastily taken, so please excuse him being shadowed, but you get the idea.

next: A climax in retrospect...



Chapter 4-6: …It Always Heals Stronger



Exhausted, out of breath, and shivering head to foot, we slid through the capacious stone archway. As we entered, the last blood-tinted rays of sunlight disappeared through what few holes in the dense canopy they could be seen. The forest was now plunged into a darkness so complete you would struggle to see your hand before your face. Not even the crickets sang to the white-speckled sky within these woods.

“What a day, don’t you think?” I asked, directing my eyes to the Dunmer who was now lighting a torch for us to see by. She had sunk to her knees again, though this time out of sheer exhaustion rather than frustration.

“I know,” she replied, returning to her feet. The small flame she had conjured to her hand had once again done its job, and the ruined tower was now bathed in flickering orange light. “Giants…. Of all the places in Tamriel… giants here? Wouldn’t they have a hard enough time with that mess of a canopy?”




----




“We turn southeast at this clearing and keep in that direction until we reach a large tower,” I told Faith in response to her question, removing my map. Faith mirrored my motion, only she held a compass in her hand when she finished.

“That way,” she said, pointing towards the nondescript wall of trees present on all sides.

“Handy you have that,” I remarked, folding the map and returning it to my rucksack, “this place looks like it would be ridiculously easy to lose yourself in.”

“And it is,” Faith added, “almost everyone who ventures here never finds his way out again. You’re going about the mages guild right?” She then asked.

“Yes, why?”

“You might want to ask about getting that map enchanted,” Faith replied. “They have some useful navigation spells they could place on that thing.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I told Faith truthfully. “Shall we get moving?”

“Yeh… wait, what’s that?” Faith stopped short of her initial reply with a question I was beginning to dread. The now very familiar sound of thundering footfalls were thudding in our direction. However, this time it was coupled with a new rumbling… voices, maybe? Strange, I didn’t know trolls could speak.

Before we could get our bearings and retreat to the shelter of the yews, we noticed two of the trees before us ominously bending apart, as if something were pushing them aside. After several seconds, something did indeed push them aside, leaving several roots hanging limply in the air in his wake. It could only be described as the largest man I’d ever seen, easily dwarfing three Nords stacked on each other’s shoulders. But there was something not quite human about him. His skin was tinged green and his hair and beard looked like he had giant tufts of moss growing from his head.





----




“I really do hope there aren’t more out there, they could probably crash through these walls easily.” I added. From what I could make out from the light of Faith’s torch, this place had definitely seen better days. The walls were of the same yellowing stone I had seen at the ruins of Fort Nikel. The gray mortar was crumbling away in so many places it was a wonder to me this place was still standing. Further investigation revealed a flight of stairs nearby.

“Hey,” I caught Faith’s attention, “over there. We should probably get to high ground, might be safer.”

“Good idea,” Faith agreed, steering her feet for the crumbling, but still usable steps. Up one flight, then another, and we reached the second floor of the tower. It was similar to the first, but not alike. For one, the floor was not of soil and grass, but of stone and gravel. By the torchlight, I could see a portion of floor to our right had fallen away, and had long since been reclaimed by nature. Opposite the stairwell, there was a small alcove containing stacked crates and barrels.

“We could set up in there,” I told Faith, pointing toward the alcove. “Perhaps use some of that wood for a proper fire.”

“You don’t think someone lives here, do you?” Faith inquired, eying the alcove with hesitation. “I don’t think he would be too happy if he found his pantry destroyed.”

“I don’t think so, I didn’t see an entrance other than the one we used,” I replied. “Besides, who would want to live in this crumbling hulk?”

“I’ve known a few mages to,” Faith revealed, “but I actually think you’re right, this place looks pretty abandoned. Let’s check the contents of those crates just to be sure.”

We made our way to the small, cluttered room and proceeded to try the lid of one of the crates. It came off without a fuss, and was completely empty. The two barrels I then checked shared the contents of the crate.

“Huh,” Faith suddenly voiced, a perplexing tone reaching my ears. “Look at this.”

She tipped a small sack on its side, and out rolled a collection of fruits and cheeses. The strange thing was, they were completely unspoiled, albeit quite dusty.




----




“Blue mushrooms… Urg want blue mushrooms,” he pandered, completely oblivious to the fact he wasn’t alone. He was too busy staring at the ground. I then looked down, and noticed the large tuft of blue mushrooms right beside my feet. I gave Faith an alarmed look, one which she returned. We both began shifting as quietly as we could away from the mushrooms.

“Soft, round, fleshy mushrooms… Urg like. Make Urg feel warm inside.”

*SNAP*

I closed my eyes in frustration; I had trodden on a stick. The giant who called himself Urg then snapped his gaze our way. We froze…

“Humans? Urg like humans…”

His eyes then shifted to Faith, and then bulged out of his skull.

“Human! With soft, fleshy mushrooms! Urg like! Make Urg feel warm inside! Urg want to eat! Urg Hungry!”

“MOVE!” Faith cried out to me, making a beeline for the forest. As she dashed away, I couldn’t help but notice the purple flush building in her cheeks….




----




After cutting into the fruit to ensure there was no rot inside, they became our dinner. Faith had also discovered a small chest, which contained the last vestiges of pillaged wealth within its iron bands. The grand total was two Septims and a small gemstone for each of us. We now sat in the warm embrace of a small fire constructed from wood fragments from the various abandoned barrels. We were watching the identically glowing silhouette of Masser pass across the gaping hole atop the tower; the first sight of a moon in days.

“I love the moonlight,” Faith commented airily, her eyes fixed on the orange sphere.

“Shadowborn through and through,” I replied, taking my eyes away from the starburst sky.

“You remembered?” Faith then asked, bringing her eyes to meet mine. “I’m surprised, most try to forget people like me. They always dismiss my sign as ‘Criminal’ and ‘the Lowlife Sign’. They seem to think that being Shadowborn makes you a thief or a night-stalker.”

“Shame they can’t see anything but the surface of the sea,” I mused. “I did used to think you were the latter, but, that was before we met Sibylla.”

Faith’s faintly touched expression then became fixed and rigid. I knew she hated the woman, but this was a point I felt I had to make.

“She showed me my guide, and you know what he told me?”

“What?” Faith asked, slightly more aggressively than I would have like, but understandably so.

“That you were neither thief nor night-stalker.” I answered, causing Faith’s expression to clear slightly, though it still remained rather hard.

“Really?” She pressed, “And so he, by what you said at least, just tried to kill me for fun?”

“He didn’t try to kill you, he was just a bit annoyed you brushed him off so rudely.” I replied, watching the last vestiges of hardness slide from Faith’s ashen features.



----




“By the Gods,” Faith voiced breathlessly behind me. We had hit rock bottom, quite literally. We were surrounded by cliff faces on all sides, with the looming figure of the giant closing. Our frantic path had taken us into one of the many confused gorges throughout the woods, but we had to have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Now we were trapped, and about to be crushed by the half a tree the giant was wielding.

The telltale swish of an arrow swung my gaze backward. Faith had her bow in hand and was nocking another arrow when a loud roar sounded. She had hit the giant in the leg, but even with the arrow buried halfway in, he did not seem anything if not simply angered by her attack. With another bellow, he swung his tree-turned-club high into the air, ready to crush both of us under his mighty blow.


“Beluam Placet!”

At my words, a surge of bright green light left my fingertips and encircled the monstrous humanoid. Struck dumb, he blinked stupidly around the canyon, then slowly lowered his club and yawned widely.

Another swish later, and he was on the ground, another arrow penetrating his skull through his mouth.

“That,” came Faith’s quiet voice, and I turned around to see her on her knees, shivering as though she had been teleported to Skyrim, “was close.”

I remained silent. I was too caught up in what had just happened. I don’t know how, but I had apparently calmed the giant. I don’t know what made me think of doing it, the spell just came to me of its own volition. I didn’t even know what kind of spell it was. I knew it was from the school of Illusion be the green light, but I had only ever used such magic to light my way home when it got too dark to see.

“Lucky you think so fast,” Faith continued, gingerly making her way to the enormous corpse. “If you had given him one more second, that would have been the end for us.”

“Yeah… sure.” I replied slowly, still bemusedly staring at my hands. As Faith got to work retrieving her arrows, I couldn’t help but wonder if a certain spirit might have had a hand in it.




----




“Never knew giants could be so rich, though.” I said, examining the contents of a large bag I had removed from my rucksack. Money, gemstones, and a faintly glowing ring had made it inside. I wasn’t sure what it did, but I could always get it appraised when I arrived in Bravil. This wealth was along with an object wrapped in a damp, red cloth that I knew to be the heart. Again, I was unsure of the value, but Faith had said it would fetch a shiny Septim from an alchemist.

“You’d be surprised,” Faith replied, “They love shiny objects. By the way, how did you think of that calming spell?” She then asked. I silently groaned inside, this was one question I didn’t have the answer to. I did finally figure out what kind of magic I used, though, so that was a plus.

“I honestly don’t know,” I explained, trying desperately to keep my gaze fixed on her as I spoke. “It just… came to me. I never even thought I knew how to calm a creature until today.”

“Well, you do have your Beast Tongue. Maybe it manifested from that?” Faith mused. “Are you sure you didn’t use your racial power?”

“I’m sure, the day hadn’t passed fully at the time. I can only use it once a day like anyone else.” I replied. “Besides, I didn’t actually voice the power when we met Teddy, I just cast it as a panic reaction.”

“Oh, really?” Faith asked, unconvinced with my argument. “You’d be surprised what you can do when instinct catches you right. It’s no tall tale that Man and Mer are capable of extraordinary feats when their lives are at risk.”

“So you think that my racial powers found a different way to manifest?” I asked her back.

“You have a soothing aura about you,” Faith answered. “You can bring peace even to the most aggressive of beasts around. Your Tongue is just one of the means for you to deliver. Dare I say it, but you give yourself far too little credit. We wouldn’t have made it past Teddy if it weren’t for you being there. Panic reaction or not, you knew exactly what to do.”

Her answer surprised me and warmed my heart. She had done a very good job of hiding the gratitude which she was now making known.

“I’m sure the Bravil mages can sort that out for you, so let’s concentrate on getting out of here before we keep speculating,” Faith then finished, burying herself in her bedroll.

“Do you think we will? We nearly died today.”

“Just trust in yourself, Dere,” Faith responded woozily. “That’s all we need now. So long as you do, I don’t think we’ll find a way out, I know we will.”

With that, I entered my own bedroll feeling as if the flames crackling beside me had flooded my body. Perhaps this hardened forester asleep beside really was warming up to me?

______________________________________________________________

Post Script: Derelas shouted in Latin. I will explain why later, but this is part of how I envision spellcasting in the game. Literally translated it means "Beast be calm!"

Posted by: mALX Mar 2 2011, 10:33 PM

My PC blackscreened this morning with nothing open but the Email. Now it keeps blue-screening, so I am on and off of here. I'm doing a system restore and see if that helps (by the way, I noticed you had that as an icon on your desktop !!! What a great idea for any Hewlett-Packard junky pieces of crap owners out there - like me. )

Anyway, I don't want to read your chapter in spurts while I am cursing my PC, but as soon as I get it stabilized I'll be over and read - great chapter lead-in, lol.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 2 2011, 10:44 PM

It gets more and more interesting.

I had to laugh at Urg's dialogue. The only thing missing was "Fee Fie Fo Fum . . .!"

And the relationship between Derelas and Faith progresses. It's actually okay by me if they don't grow into a romantic pair. I get quite tired of seeing every male-female pair (where both are straight) become a romantic pair in fiction. It's possible IRL for a man and a woman (both straight) to have a good, friendly relationship without throwing - umm - benefits into the mix. In some relationships, benefits tend to screw up a good friendship, anyway!

Okey dokey, I'm getting off my soapbox here. Back to your story. Latin works as the language of magic, and if you're happy with it, that's great. There's plenty of other little-known languages that can be useful for incantations, as well.

The interspersing of the past and present is well done and well paced here as well. It had a natural flow and rhythm that kept it from being too jarring. Good job!

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 2 2011, 11:32 PM

A very interesting way to tell the episode, going back and forth from the giant to the ruin. But it paid off, as you kept the excitement going throughout the piece with every flash back to the giant.

“Human! With soft, fleshy mushrooms! Urg like! Make Urg feel warm inside! Urg want to eat! Urg Hungry!”
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/subrosa_florens/drooling-homer-simpson.jpg Too bad there are only elves around! laugh.gif

Struck dumb,
Somehow I don't think that was very difficult to do, given the subject... wink.gif

Your Tongue is just one of the means for you to deliver.
Can't wait to see what Foxy will make of that line...



nits:
Exhausted, out of breath, and shivering head to foot, we slid through the capacious stone archway as the last blood-tinted rays of sunlight disappeared through what few holes in the dense canopy they could be seen.
This is one really long sentence. You might consider breaking it up into two.

Posted by: mALX Mar 2 2011, 11:56 PM

TK, I'm coming back tomorrow to read - too tense tonight after the crashing of the PC all day - and just now my pup got her conehead collar stuck between her upper and lower jaw, then came inside after I took it off and bit a cord that was plugged in. I don't think I could absorb anything tonight but a tylenol. TOO STRESSED !!!

Posted by: mALX Mar 3 2011, 12:29 AM

QUOTE(Thomas Kaira @ Mar 2 2011, 04:09 PM) *

@rider: Seeing what mALX and 'Rosa were up to






http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A



*

Posted by: Acadian Mar 3 2011, 03:32 AM

Urg! Find giant. Run from giant. Immobilize giant. Shoot giant in mouth. Giant fall down. Works for me!

Derelas and Faith are working well together, and neither one peed their greaves it seems. I'm glad to see the Dunmer beginning to appreciate the Bosmer. smile.gif

Posted by: mALX Mar 3 2011, 06:03 AM

Lucky thing for Dere he wasn't traveling with Sigrid when he ran across Urg !! - Talk about mushrooms! lol.



One of the things the email copy of your chapter did was remove the font changes - without the italics in place I was struggling to understand the order - thankfully, coming here and reading it fixed that, lol.

In spite of the flight and fight with the giant Urg, this chapter had a relaxing feel, the conversations between Faith and Dere were quiet; coming to learn and accept the things about each other that are different - the kind of conversations that are easily pictured between two people traveling through the wilderness and sleeping out in the open air .. quiet ones. (with the exception of Faith's ever present quick temper)

Great chapter, you have a knack for setting moods in your chapters !!

Posted by: Grits Mar 4 2011, 06:37 PM

I then looked down, and noticed the large tuft of blue mushrooms right beside my feet. I gave Faith an alarmed look, one which she returned. We both began shifting as quietly as we could away from the mushrooms.

Oh my gosh, this was perfect! Those mushrooms with the magicka, what a great idea that everyone should like to eat them!

“She showed me my sign, and you know what he told me?”

Um. Did she show him his guide? I could just be reading this wrong.

I love the atmosphere you give each setting. Creepy forest, cave, or fire lit ruin, each one has its own feeling. smile.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 4 2011, 07:17 PM

@rider: I'm still debating having a romance going here, but I am in favor of one not happening. I'm going to be following the developments of this tale and the characters, as well as the interpretations of the readers here, to make the final decision. I'm glad you do wish to see something happen between them, but it probably won't be in that way.

@SubRosa: This chapter was used as a base for experimenting with writing in two separate time-frames and telling those stories at the same time. My cues tend to be based on the length of the passages as well as giving verbal cues through the writing. I'm glad it worked for you.
Nit be picked.

@Acadian: I reserve the man (or mer)-made puddle for when someone gets a good shock. For example, if it were at night and the giant snuck up on our twosome going "ooglie booglie booglie!", THEN we might see some urination. That, or someone is becoming fairly certain that his life is about to end. Those two hadn't QUITE reached that point yet, as they could still fight back. I will say they were close, though. wink.gif

@mALX: If I might make a suggestion on how you could fix your computer: C-4. It's stable, reliable, and capable of cleaning up any mess anyone might have made! Just what the doctor ordered! (Side effects may include craters, burns, irate husbands, and cat-scratch fever.) Thank you for your kind words.

@Grits: Dere's birthsign and spirit guide are one and the same. But, I do see your point, considering he was already aware of his birthsign at the time, so I'll be editing that. Thank you for your thoughts!

@all: I am referencing an actual chess opening move set in this story: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_knights_defense It just fit the idea so well that I had to run with it. We also have the identities of our villains revealed... a bit.

next: Our foray into the forest of death has finally come to an end. It is time we learned a little more about what is going on here.



Chapter 4-7: Out of the Woods



The trees were thinning. Above us, the bright blue mantle of a clear sky winked down through the gently rustling leaves. The yews had shrunk, now interspersed between great oaks and haughty poplars. The suffocating canopy we had dwelled under for the past three days had been left behind, and now the forest floor breathed again.

“Look!” Faith exclaimed, prompting me to turn to look at her. Upon following her finger, it fell upon a lone horse. He stood quite still, his glinting brown eyes fixed upon the two strangers now disturbing his peaceful grazing. His dark gray mane glistened in the late afternoon light, and his steel-colored body was dappled with light gray spots. His figure ended with a long, swishing tail.

“Do you think its the same horse we startled away?” I asked.

“I think so,” Faith replied, following the progress of its tail. He seemed much calmer now then he did when we last met him. His gaze did not seem nervous, else he probably would be holding his tail starkly still. Was it curiosity?

“You know what, Faith? I think we might be close to leaving this place.” I voiced aloud.

Sure enough, as Magnus began to sink behind the rolling hills of yonder, the trees overhead finally broke. The soft crunching of our footfalls on grass and leaves had been replaced with the dull clopping of shoe on stone. We had met the road; we had made it out.

I could barely repress my shout of joy, and even Faith with her hardened demeanor could not help but smile. Approaching torchlight and the extraordinarily welcome sound of horseshoe on rock preceded the arrival of a Legion patrol. Safe at last.

“It’s getting late travelers,” the leading Decanus called out to us. “You should draw up alongside the road and rest. Best not to travel by night anymore, not with what’s happened over the past few days.”

“You mean besides Kvatch?” I asked. It suddenly came to my attention that I was woefully behind on news, having been trapped in overgrown brambles for the past three days.

“Yes, though the fall of Kvatch is most certainly a part of it.” The legionary replied, gently tugging his dark burnt-sienna horse to a halt. “We’ve been getting increasing reports from travelers… the Daedra.”

“You mean, they’re spreading?” Faith interrupted, her joyful gaze replaced with one of shock.

“We can’t be too sure right now,” the Legionary continued, “but as I’ve said, we’ve had several sightings out in the wilderness. Did you just come from the Yews?” He then added, eyeing us with an unreadable expression.

“Yes, actually,” I responded. “Don’t ask how we ended up there.”

“Well, you got here alive, so obviously Kynareth has smiled upon you,” The Legionary replied. “You would do best to stick to the roads now, Bosmer. The wilderness just isn’t safe anymore.”

“Thank you for your warning,” I said as the Legionary turned to resume patrol.

“Good night,” he bade us as he smooched to his horse to move on. I then turned to look at Faith, her eyes were troubled, and I was sure mine matched. If the Daedra could bring an entire city to its knees, what could they do to a lonely wanderer? I didn’t even want to think about how close to death several of those travelers had come.




----




“Well, here we are. Great Niben Bridge.” Faith said, embellishing our arrival with a flourish. The great stone arches of the towering structure branched their way over the glittering river beneath, its waves lopping lazily against the great pillars. To the south, the river disappeared into a lake… no, a sea. It stretched as far as the eye could see, small islands dotting the glinting azure waters; Niben Bay. I had to suppress a fierce urge to sling my shirt to the ground and dive into the clear blue sea. It felt so great to be free of the stuffy woods whose treetops now waved innocently at our retreating backs. It was almost as if they were beckoning for us to return, saying “oh, come now, it’s not that bad in here. There’s only trolls and giants and cliffs and canyons. Nothing lethal, nothing at all.” Rather ironic, considering my heritage, but I had grown amongst tall, airy trees. The yews did nothing but compress the air you breathed and restrict your movement. I do not like it when things restrict my movement.

“Once you cross the bridge, you’ll reach a small village called Vergayun on the coast. You can rest there for the night. You can then meet up with the Green Road from there, and take it straight on to Bravil. You are no more than two days away,” Faith finished explaining as I drunk in the serene freedom of nature.

“Thanks,” I replied, but I still wasn’t done. “And not just for getting me back on track. I probably would have died in those yews if it weren’t for you.”

“You fared pretty well, yourself, you know,” Faith responded, the ghost of bashfulness betrayed by her eyes. “I could say the same thing.”

“Oh, well… thanks.” I could feel my face warming slightly at her words, and it had nothing to do with the rising sun. I forced myself to look into her own eyes before I continued, “Are you coming, then, watcher?”

“No, I need to get back to the Imperial City,” Faith responded. “Besides, you can take care of yourself well enough.”

“Very well,” I returned, directing my shoes towards the great stone bridge before me. “Maybe we’ll see each other again sometime?”

“I’m sure we will soon enough,” Faith replied as she turned away. She took a few steps, but then gave pause. After some hesitation, she then doubled back.

“I almost forgot, this is for you,” She then finished, handing me a small, sealed envelope. “Hopefully it will explain a few things. Now, I really do need to go, so take care of yourself.”

“And you, too,” I called out as she shrank into the distance. I then heaved a deep sigh, and turned to seat myself on the banisters of the bridge. I had a full day to myself now, and I wanted to enjoy being freed from Mephala’s clutches as best I could. When I finally got bored of staring out into the bay, I turned my eyes to the letter Faith had given me. There was very little writing on the front, it only said “To Derelas, for your eyes only.” Hmm, a secret… my curiosity perked, I tore the envelope open and unfolded the parchment within.

Greetings, Derelas of Elder Root. We have not met in person and it is probably best things remain as such. I understand you are already acquainted with Sera Dresdan, as well. It is time you learned why she is shadowing you.

We are known as the Children of Dawn. We are an organization dedicated to the cleansing of the Walkers of Night from the lands. You may know them more commonly as vampires. Our pledge is to rid the world of this blight, and to put an end to their senseless murder. Why does this concern you, you might ask? The answer is simple.

We believe there is one Ancient who has taken an interest in you. Do not fear for your life, that is exactly why you are holding this. Sera Dresdan has been assigned to you as your Shadow. It is her job to ensure nothing happens to you.

Why are we telling you this? You must remain vigilant, as Sera Dresdan can only do so much for you. Your safety is our prerogative, and therefore your awareness is needed. Travel only by day, and do not stray from the patrols. Believe us, we do not wish for you to fall into the hands of the Ancients any more than you do.

May the Light of Dawn guide your journeys.





----




“Have you brought it?” The cloaked figure demanded of the Argonian knelt before him.

“Yes, Lord,” his hissing voice replied. He then drew a thick, heavy volume from is cloak and passed it along. “Fingers of the Mountain, as requested.”

“And no one knows of its whereabouts?” The cloaked figure demanded again, his blood-red eyes beginning to glow.

“The only one who could easily track it has been slain, and the Associate who brought it to me is none the wiser,” The Argonian replied. “He thinks he brought it into the safekeeping of the Mages Guild.”

“Good,” the red-eyed figure replied. “You have done well to bring me this Teekeus. I take it you have kept your ties with the Worm King intact?”

“Indeed, Lord,” Teekeus responded, barely able to contain the relief and glee in his hissing voice.

“What news from him?”

“He is biding his time,” Teekeus replied. “He waits for the opportune moment to strike, but his forces are ready and willing. I believe he will move alongside Dagon, try to catch the Mages off guard.”

“As they will be too busy dealing with Dagon’s assault to forsee an attack from a thought dead foe.” The cloaked figure finished. “Very well, you may leave,” He then dismissed the Argonian.

Clutching the book close to his chest, he returned to his throne. His joy was palpable, he almost thought he could feel his heart beating once again. Everything was playing out exactly as desired. Now all that was left was for Mannimarco to make his move.

“The Two Knights,” he commented staring down at the chessboard. “So, Dagon failed to kill the last heir.”

“And Akatosh’s Champion now brings him to safety,” a woman’s voice reverberated throughout the chamber. Her bronze skin clashed vividly with her stark white gown, which was painted a vivid red by the glowing orbs above. Her midnight-black hair was drawn back into an elaborate plume, adding to her already substantial height. She was seated at the opposite end of the chessboard, eying the white pieces with deep blue eyes and anticipating the next move. As she spoke, her dagger-sharp fangs gleamed.

“But will he find solace? That is the question,” the man replied. As he did, he moved his bishop forward into the empty field of squares, ready for battle.

“Dagon has already dispatched his servants,” The lady in white replied. “He may have lost the last Septim, but he is not unintelligent. Where one is gained, another is lost. Weynon will be his in but a fortnight.”

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 4 2011, 07:30 PM

And so the mystery deepens!

Child of Dawn, huh? Why does that make me think of Buffy the Blond Bosmer Bowgirl from Bravil? Hmmm . . . wink.gif

QUOTE
It felt so great to be free of the stuffy woods who’s treetops now waved innocently at our retreating backs.
Should be whose. Who's is like it's - it refers to the contraction of who is.

QUOTE
The yews did nothing but compress the air your breathed and restrict your movement.
I think the 'r' snuck in while Derelas was trying to escape the yews. Time to kick it back to where it came from!

Posted by: ghastley Mar 4 2011, 09:30 PM

QUOTE
His gaze did not seem nervous, else he probably would be holding his tail stark still.
-
did you mean stock still?

and
QUOTE
his dark burnt-sierra horse
was probably intended to be burnt-sienna - the color, not the moderator.

Is it just coincidence that Dawn is the opposite of Twilight?



Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 4 2011, 10:21 PM

No, I most definitely meant stark(ly) still. From the ever-handy dictionary:

stark
   /stɑrk/ [stahrk], -er, -est, adverb – adjective
1. sheer, utter, downright, or complete: stark madness.
2. harsh, grim, or desolate, as a view, place, etc.: a stark landscape.
3. extremely simple or severe: a stark interior.
4. bluntly or sternly plain; not softened or glamorized: the stark reality of the schedule's deadline.
5. stiff or rigid in substance, muscles, etc.
6. rigid in death.
7. Archaic . strong; powerful; massive or robust.

It's the same usage as in the spell Stark Reality.

Posted by: mALX Mar 5 2011, 01:39 AM

QUOTE

“The only one who could easily track it has been slain, and the Associate who brought it to me is none the wiser,” The Argonian replied. “He thinks he brought it into the safekeeping of the Mages Guild.”

“Good,” the red-eyed figure replied. “You have done well to bring me this Teekeus. I take it you have kept your ties with the Worm King intact?”

“Indeed, Lord,” Teekeus responded, barely able to contain the relief and glee in his hissing voice.



WOOOOOOOOOOOT !!!!!! You just knocked me out of my chair !!!!! WOO HOO !!!! Now that's what I'm talking about !!!!!!

Posted by: Acadian Mar 5 2011, 02:36 AM

Well, out of the woods, but. . .

Vampires, the Worm King, Dagon. Teekeus the turncoat. There is certainly some mystery brewing here!

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 5 2011, 03:11 AM

Our hero has escaped from Mirkwood, with nary a giant spider in sight (lucky this is not Skyrim! ohmy.gif ).

You would do best to stick to the roads now, Bosmer.
Heresy! laugh.gif

I wanted to enjoy being freed from Mephala’s clutches as best I could
Faith was not that bad. laugh.gif

So Faith/Sera (I prefer Sera as a name myself, the Faith in BtVS ruined that name for me) is a secret agent of vampire hunters? Or perhaps the Mythic Dawn, given the name of her secret society? I figured she had to be some kind of spy, rather than just your run-of-the-mill stalker. She did not seem crazy enough to be the latter. Or perhaps she is an agent of the vampires? Now that would be an interesting twist.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 6 2011, 09:57 PM

@haute ecole rider: I can assure you that there will be no Blond Bravilian Bowgirls in-the-buff involved in this order. They take their name from a different source. Buffy the Bowgirl has no intentions of becoming a vampire slayer, Azura's Chosen, and I wish to honor her decision.
Nits be picked.

@ghastley: Twilight and dawn are two sides of the same coin. wink.gif

@mALX: Surprise surprise! I heartily enjoy taking my stories along twisty-turny roads where you don't know what's going to happen next. The poltline for this one is already pretty complex, and gets even more so every day. The pressure is now on me to make sure I leave none of the threads dangling. With luck, and a good sense of where things are going, though, we might have a Berber rug similar to the one hanging on my wall in terms of storytelling, though. (And yes, I mean a genuine Berber rug that I purchased in Morocco.)

@Acadian: Mystery that will only get deeper as time progresses... I love to keep you people guessing. tongue.gif

@SubRosa: I am not even close to done with being an evil, evil man. I will feast upon your Arachnophobia... and I will like it! evillol.gif

@all: So, now that our harrowing venture into Fangorn Forest the Ancient Yews has ended, it's time to take stock of the situation and get back into the normal routine of life in Tamriel... or are we?

next: We arrive in Vergayun, for dinner and a good night's sleep.



Chapter 5-1: Rest and Relaxation



“Welcome to Vergayun, Bosmer,” A guard clad in padded white chain mail bearing the crest of a noble-antlered deer upon the front greeted me. The day was late now, most of it spent upon the great span across the Niben. It was with great relief that I found myself approaching the tiny port village on the coast. This was my first sight of civilization in four days time. Finally, the chance for a hot meal, a warm, blazing fire, and a pillow beneath my head.

“I wish to stay at the inn, do you know where I might find it?” I asked the guard.

“The Clam’s Shell,” he indicated a large thatch-roofed building on the hilltop. “Food and bed for all travelers. You may want to avoid the Slaughterfish Surprise if this is your first time here, though. It takes a bit of… getting used to,” the guard added, a light grimace crossing his face.

“Thank you for the warning,” I replied. “Is there anything you would suggest?”

“Oh, yes indeed,” The guard answered, “The clam chowder is quite excellent. Buy it with sourdough bread and a warm sweetcake. Best food you’ll find for miles.”

“I appreciate your help,” came my response, “good evening.”

The village of Vergayun was quite small. It had a decent sized dock, where now a large ship was moored. The boat looked like a trading cog, due to the expansive belly that made it look rather portly. Several sailors milled about the ship, clad in flax tunics and chewing tobacco as they loaded and unloaded cargo. On a second, smaller dock nearby, several men were retrieving fishing rods and pots, hauling them back to their damp wooden homes. They would probably be up well before the sun tomorrow to set them back, I mused as I strode along the creaky planks.

The way soon turned to a small dirt road as it meandered onwards to the inn. As I began to trek upwards, my mind returned to the blood-chilling letter I had received earlier today. Faith was a member of a group of vampire hunters, it told me. She was tracking me because an ancient was stalking me. I had no idea what an ancient was, so I could only assume it was a vampire that was extra-mean. But still, was I in that much danger the whole time I was here? Why was I even traveling at all if doing so might put my life at such risk?

Relax, Dere. The roads are well patrolled and the cities well fortified. If these hunters had truly felt my life would be at risk from traveling, why didn’t Faith try to escort me someplace safe after we escaped the yews? Perhaps they are trying not to impede too much on my life? I had to appreciate these nameless hunters for that, and for their trust that I would not go astray. At this a sharp stab of guilt penetrated my stomach, I had gone astray. This did a lot for explaining Faith’s annoyance throughout the trip; I had betrayed their trust... her trust. I had a feeling I was lucky that she felt I deserved another chance after nearly getting her killed three times in as many days. As I strode through the creaky wooden door of the Clam’s Shell, I made a silent vow: never again would I betray that trust.




----




“Greetings, Forest-dweller,” The soothing low tones of the Dunmer publican greeted me as the moist wooden planks swung shut behind me. “Welcome to the Clam’s Shell, famed for its clam chowder and Slaughterfish Surprise! Have you been long traveling?”

“You have no idea,” I replied with barely repressed tiredness, finding a seat. The publican was simply dressed in blue and green, and her age was betrayed through light flecks of white in her dark brown hair. Her fiery eyes were alight with energy; so much so you could almost see the ghost of a namesake volcano behind them. Her face was clear and calm, lending an air of security and belonging to the room. One could probably look into her eyes and see their mother gazing back at them.

It then struck me that I was staring. It had been so long since I had seen such a caring, tender gaze that I found myself awash in it. My face grew hot as I tore my eyes away from her.

“I’m sorry, have I offended?” She then asked me, breaking my reverie.

“Wha… oh, sorry. No, you haven’t. You just reminded me of someone… someone I knew.”

“Oh,” she replied, “Must have been someone dear to you, your gaze was quite intense.” She then ducked beneath the counter I was sat behind, placed a wooden cup beside me, and filled it with water from a crude stone pitcher.

“Thank you,” I responded, taking the cup into my hands. “Say, why do you call it ‘Slaughterfish Surprise’?”

“Because you never know what you’ll get, of course!” She answered, laughter gleaming in her eyes now. “I’ve had some break into song over it, and you wouldn’t believe what goes on in some of the minds we have here, particularly the fishermen. It is adventure in a bowl! Would you care to try it?”

My mind suddenly flashed back to a Nord dancing around on a tabletop waving his shirt through the air. I was suddenly overcome with a strange urge to laugh, and at the same time a strong urge to vomit.

“Maybe another time,” I turned down her offer. “I hear the clam chowder is very good here, though?”

“You heard correctly, then, dear. Five drakes for one bowl, or free if you wish to stay the night.”

As I was planning to stay the night here, I thought I might as well take her up on her offer.

“And how much for a bed?” I asked.

“Ten Drakes.” She replied. It was much easier to part with the sum now that I had a small pile of Septims jingling away in my pocket. I would need to be careful not to spend it all in one place. The coins spent only a second on the counter top before the publican’s deft hands whisked them away.

“Oh, my… where are my manners?” She suddenly voiced as she turned towards a large kettle on the stone range behind her. “I didn’t even ask your name. I’m Dorisa Thelas.”

“I’m Derelas,” I returned as she placed a large bowl of red tomato filled soup before me.

“It’s Rumare style, with tomatoes instead of the cream you would normally find in Nibenese style,” Dorisa explained as I picked up my spoon. “Much heartier, too. I like to switch between the two from time to time. It keeps things fresh.”

“It’s delicious all the same,” I replied. A subtle sweetness broke through the acidity of the tomatoes from the mixture of carrots and bell peppers. Each bite contained a healthy portion of clam meat, well prepared and not even slightly rubbery. The dish was made complete with the savory touch of potato.

“Enjoy yourself,” Dorisa chimed, leaving a small loaf of flour-dusted bread next to my bowl. She then moved to assist the several people who had just filed inside as I tore a chunk of the crisp-crusted bread away to dip into the bowl.




----




The clear blue glow of ancient crystals beckoned me forward. Though instinct told me what was within these crumbling halls would mean my death, I could not stop my feet from taking step after step closer to the beckoning darkness. All that mattered was what lay at the end.

After what seemed like hours, the constricting walls beside me vanished. I now strode into a gigantic chamber bathed in red light. My mind screamed at me to stop, to turn, to leave, but it had parted from my body entirely. As I stepped to the lip of a grand stairwell, he came forward.

The figure of shadow, eyes aflame in the gloom of his hood. He stepped downward towards me ever so slowly. Every footstep he made resounded like thunder within a collapsing cavern. As the distance closed, he reached for his pommel, drawing a blade that was both dazzlingly beautiful, and woefully terrible. It, like he, sapped the light from the air around it. The elegantly carved hilt was stained with black taint unlike any I had seen before. Though the blade still sang, it had lost its sheen and now oozed darkness from every lip of its masterfully engraved surface.

At arms length from me, the man stopped. He held the blade so I might see it, allowing me to feast my eyes on its horrid majesty. He then drew it back, and thrust it forward, skewering my heart upon the razor-sharp tip.

The world disappeared into blackness….





----




My face stung with needles as I jerked awake, and then I froze. Two cloaked figures stood above me, swords drawn for Coup-de-Grace, and tips aimed for my stomach.

_______________________________________________


Post Script: Rumare Clam Chowder and Nibenese Clam Chowder are TES-ified versions of Manhattan Clam Chowder and New England Clam Chowder, respectively.

For those interested, the village was based off of http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=26643

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 6 2011, 10:11 PM

Quite enjoyable, especially the two versions of the clam chowder. I think I would quite enjoy the Rumare version so much more, too (prefer tomato sauces over cream/cheese sauces every tiime).

Talendor's ponderings about the hunters and vampires is quite informative and sets up the emotional atmosphere in a wonderful way.

And the plot thickens. What a nightmare, and what a way to wake up from it!

I do have a nit:

QUOTE
“Enjoy yourself,” Dorisa chimed, leaving a small loaf of floury-crusted bread next to my bowl. She then moved to assist the several people who had just filed inside as I tore a chunk of the crisp-crusted bread away to dip into the bowl.
Having crusted so close together is a bit disruptive to the flow. As I can see the bread has a dusting of flour on it, how about a small loaf of flour-dusted bread and keeping the crisp-crusted bread in the second instance? Just a suggestion!

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 6 2011, 10:16 PM

So given your remark to ghastley about Twilight, does that mean Derelas will have to choose between a brooding vampire or a hunky werewolf to be his b/f? wink.gif

I love Fangorn Forest! I remember when I first saw it in the movies, I simply fell in love with the place. smile.gif

Now, onto the actual story. I always find myself struggling for names of places like inns. The Clam's Shell is an excellent one for a seaside village! goodjob.gif

Slaughterfish Surprise
I am afraid to ask what the surprise is! Frickken laser beams in their eyes? smile.gif

you could almost see the ghost of a namesake volcano behind them
An excellent description!

And trust captain cook to give us a tasty meal. I love Manhattan Rumare Clam Chowder. It is has that extra spicy kick that the Nibenean kind lacks. Although I still like the latter as well.

Finally, another of Dere's strange dreams with Lucien Lacroix. Only to wake up to find cliff hanging again! ohmy.gif

Posted by: Acadian Mar 7 2011, 03:16 AM

Neat inn. I'd like the Nibenese clam chowder in a bread bowl and a goblet of Tamika's, please. Yum!

'I had no idea what an ancient was, so I could only assume it was a vampire that was extra-mean. '
Yikes. I agree.

A cliffie!

Nit:
'Dorisa chimed, leaving a small loaf of flour-drusted bread next to my bowl.'
An edit to the edit is needed. Lol.

Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 7 2011, 04:52 AM

Ok...I am caught up again. Really great stuff! So much going on now and a plot that gets thicker and thickerer. Could Teekeeus' sinister side be the "dasterdly idea" you spoke of in Talendor comments? whistling.gif As always, the food makes my mouth water while reading. I must confess to being more of a Nibenese chowder fan myself. Anyway, it's good to be caught up and looking forward to more.

Posted by: mALX Mar 7 2011, 11:42 AM

Thank you for linking the mod so we can get an idea of the place!!!

This was my fave line, Heartstopping !!!

QUOTE

At arms length from me, the man stopped. He held the blade so I might see it, allowing me to feast my eyes on its horrid majesty. He then drew it back, and thrust it forward, skewering my heart upon the razor-sharp tip.

The world disappeared into blackness….




You could have ended it right there for the shocking cliffhanger - either way, Great Write !!

Posted by: Grits Mar 8 2011, 02:34 AM

Chapter 4-7 The suffocating canopy we had dwelled under for the past three days had been left behind, and now the forest floor breathed again.

Just wanted to mention how much I like this phrasing.

“You fared pretty well, yourself, you know,” Faith responded, the ghost of bashfulness betrayed by her eyes. “I could say the same thing.”

“Oh, well… thanks.” I could feel my face warming slightly at her words, and it had nothing to do with the rising sun. I forced myself to look into her own eyes before I continued, “Are you coming, then, watcher?”


As well as this sweet and delicate exchange. happy.gif

The plot is getting complex, I need to start taking notes!!

Chapter 5-1 It then struck me that I was staring. It had been so long since I had seen such a caring, tender gaze that I found myself awash in it. My face grew hot as I tore my eyes away from her.

A reminder that Derelas is far from home, and alone. I can’t decide between Rumare style or Nibenese chowders. I’ll have to try another bowl of each, please. smile.gif


Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 9 2011, 07:28 AM

@haute ecole rider: Must be your Sicilian heritage speaking there! I would assume things would be much different had your ancestors been born a couple hundred miles further north. By the way, Talendor? I think you have the wrong Bosmer there. I know, I know, there's now... what, four Bosmer-centric tales here? It can get a little tough to keep track sometimes. tongue.gif
Nit be picked.

@SubRosa: I'm sorry, but we will be seeing none of David Borenaz or Seth Green in this fic. laugh.gif

@Acadian: Surely Buffy would know just how big a meanie-head a vampire can be, and that's just a lowly broodspawn!
Picked nit be picked yet again. embarrased.gif

@Rick: You haven't even seen the first bit of my dastardlyness! I have a few plans in store for you that might just send you to the doctor because your brain exploded! biggrin.gif (Well, in reality, I just love a good plot twist.)

@sporky-eared squirrel: I don't think a dream sequence is a good place to end things if you want a good cliffhanger. The cardinal problem with doing so is that the reader knows that what is happening is not real and will most likely be resolved by the protagonist waking up. It's sort of a cliffhanger, but the readers feet can feel the ground as they dangle, which completely defeats the purpose. That is why I returned us to reality before I left you dangling, because then you know that the cacat is about to hit the fan.

@Grits: Thank you for your approval on those rather tender moments in Derelas' life.

@all: Thank you all for sharing your clam chowder preference. If you wish to know, mine is Manhattan, or in this case Rumare.

next: Assassins!



Chapter 5-2: A New Foe



In the split second between my awakening and my finding two figures poised to rob me of my life, a knife hissed through the air. Caught unawares, the assassin to my left flinched violently to avoid the glinting blade, which crashed into a nearby wall before falling to the floor. Without a single thought as to what might happen to me, I kicked out at the assassin whose blade remained poised to taste my blood. My feet collided with his chest, and he keeled over, nearly winded and only barely clutching the hilt of his weapon. Swords clashed behind me as the second assassin engaged his unknown aggressor.

I lunged to wrest the blade from the cloaked figure’s hands, but in a heartbeat, he had redoubled his grip. As my fingers fruitlessly closed about the pommel, he flicked it away as he might a stubborn fly. I could barely make out a grin crossing his shadowed lips as he raised the blade to bite my neck.

I dived aside, a sharp sting quickly building in my right arm. I then knew then the assassin had tasted blood. As the sting escalated to a screaming burn, I caught gaze of the knife my savior had thrown, still quivering where it had pierced the floor, and just within my reach. My uninjured arm clasped the hilt, drawing it forth as the black-robed figure appeared above me, poising himself for another Coup-de-Grace. In his overconfidence, I had my moment; I thrust the knife upward….

The assassin then screamed in pain, clutching for his manhood where blood now oozed as if from some perverted fountain. His blade clattered to the ground. Not a second later, a heavy thud denoted a large body hitting the floor. I peered through the nauseating spectacle before me to see the second black-robed man sprawled unmoving upon the ground.

At this point, a searing pain gave stark reminder of the wound upon my arm. I turned to view the deep gash left upon me, a ghastly reminder of how close I had come to death’s embrace. The cut was clean, denoting a viciously sharp edge upon the blade, and was bleeding freely. A moan of pain escaped my lips as I gripped the deep gash within my good hand, watching as the blood spilled through my fingers.

“Thank the Gods…” came Faith’s voice as she shoved aside the now castrated assassin, who was too busy with either the pain or humiliation to care. “Are you alright?”

“Not by much, but I’m alive,” I replied, gritting my teeth as a fresh wave of white-hot pain threatened to spill more than blood upon the floorboards. Faith quickly dipped into her traveling pack, drew forth a vial of swirling red liquid, and handed it to me. I drained the healing potion in one gulp, and felt the pain dissipate to a dull throb as the bleeding slowed. It did not cease, though, and the wound remained open, yawning its defiance.

“Cacat,” Faith voiced, “This is a lot worse than I thought. You’re going to need to see a healer about this. Let me see that dagger.”

I handed her the blade now on the floor next to me as she took a length of black robe from the nearby defeated assassin. Holding it firm and stretched, she sliced a long, thin ribbon from the cloth. With that done, she wrapped it around the wound as tightly as she could, tying it off with a complex knot. My arm now felt very numb, but I knew this was better than bleeding to death.

“Who were these guys, by the way?” I asked, “And how did you know to know to come here? I thought you were on your way back to the Imperial City.”

“I had a feeling,” Faith replied, “I don’t know why, or who or what told me, I just felt I needed to get back to you as quickly as I could.” She turned her gaze to the blackness of the midnight sky, stars twinkling through a lone window. “If I had been but a second later… I don’t even want to think about that.”

She then snapped her deep red eyes back to my own. “We need to get you someplace safe as soon as possible.”

“Well, could you tell me who these people were, first?” I asked, now mildly irritated. I didn’t think now was the time to keep any secrets about whom we were facing. “I know they’re dangerous, but I think I deserve the truth about this. Were these the ancient’s men?”

“No,” Faith responded, eying the twitching body of the assassin I had crippled and shifting her footing as if discomforted. “They are Dark Brotherhood, an ancient group of assassins in the service of the Dread Father Sithis. I would like to say that makes things better, but since you want the truth, it does not. If someone has contracted your life to them, they will not cease their pursuit until they have claimed it.”

My mind was racing, struggling to make sense of things. When my parents disappeared, it was all I could promise myself to discover why. Now, not even a month into my journey to find them again, I had an ancient vampire spying on my every move. Not only that, but an ancient sect of murderers wished to make sport of me, now, too. Could my life possibly get any worse?

“Well, surely we aren’t going to leave now?” I asked once my melancholy had passed. “It’s pitch-black outside, with no moon to light the road. Don’t you think we’d be a bit vulnerable to attack?”

“I know,” Faith replied, taking a seat on a nearby bed. “We will leave at first light tomorrow morning. We should be able to make Bravil by mid-afternoon if we do not stray from the road.”

“And when we arrive?” I continued to inquire.

“Go to the hall of the Guild of Fighters and ask for Tadrose Helas.” Faith responded. “Tell her Sera Dresdan has sent you to her, she’ll understand why, and she’ll keep the Brotherhood away from you as best she can.”

“I’m not sure I would trust a band of mercenaries,” I mused skeptically. Sure the Fighters Guild had honor, but from my experiences with them it was found on the head of a Septim more than anything else. I couldn’t be sure this was the best idea if Faith expected this to be done gratis.

“You can trust Tadrose,” Faith pointedly replied. “She may be a bit rough around the edges, but she knows how this world works. Like I said, just tell her I sent you, and she’ll understand.”

“Well, I guess I don’t have much choice,” came my response. It had become rather obvious to both of us now that keeping me alive, if that was still the intentions of Faith’s order, could not be done by her alone. I had occasionally heard whispers of the savagery inflicted by the Brotherhood back home. Tales of grand nobles’ spectacular ends by their hands, heart and head separated from body and hung for all to see. If Faith thought she would need help, It was probably best I address her concerns, and fast.

It was at this point that the innkeeper arrived alongside two guards in stag-crested armor. Their clanky footfalls preceded them well before they crested the stairs into the loft in which we stood.

“What in Oblivion… what happened here?!” One of the guards exclaimed as Dorisa shrunk away from the violence of the scene, looking very sick. His Imperial voice rang with conviction, causing me to shrink away in submission. Now I understood why they were known for their charisma. “You two, explain yourselves!”

“They were Dark Brotherhood, sir.” Faith responded calmly, unfazed by the Guard’s aggression. “They were after my friend here.”

The guard promptly bent down to check the body of the dead assassin. A low groan soon sounded from the direction of the other body, which I now noticed was moving. The guard quickly abandoned his search of the body, crossed the room in two strides, and swung himself forward to grab him. I noticed him blanch considerably when he noticed the assassin’s injury, but he quickly recovered.

“Who are you? What happened here? Answer quickly!” the guard interrogated the man. Before he could continue, there was an incredible yell of pain. The guard recoiled back from the dark-robed man, a black dagger embedded in his thigh.

“In Sithis’ name… I still my tongue….” The assassin breathed, his voice laden with contempt.

“So be it,” the guard answered quietly. He then drew his silver blade, swung it high, and brought it down upon the assassin’s neck.




----




“…and then Faith arrived and we fought them.” I limply finished recapping the story to the guard. His leg was now bandaged and he walked with a heavy limp. We had been moved downstairs while the uninjured guard investigated the bodies for any evidence they might be carrying.

“It’s remarkable you survived,” Dorisa chimed in. “When the Brotherhood calls assassins to a man’s nightstand, they almost never fail.”

“And they won’t let this stop them, they will try again,” the guard continued, his voice heavy with displeasure. “You two must leave Vergayun as soon as possible. The villagers will be fearful of your presence should you remain, and thus I cannot allow you to stay.”

“We mean to leave by dawn,” I responded to the guard’s concerns. “We do not wish to endanger your residents any more than you do.”

“Good,” the guard replied, a good deal of tension leaving his strained features. “I’m sorry to have to kick you out of our village so unceremoniously, but I do not wish to put the citizens at risk. Where do you plan to go?”

“Bravil,” came Faith’s reply. “I have some friends there that can help with this.”

The guard gave a dark chuckle when he heard the name of the city. “You’d better,” he responded, “thieves own that city. You’d be safer at the bottom of the Niben than you would to trust your hands in Count Terentius’s guard. Rotten to the core, they are.”

“We don’t plan on even getting close to them,” Faith quickly replied. “I have some friends in the Fighters Guild down there that I trust.”

The guard grunted, but didn’t speak any further on the matter. At this point, clanking footsteps announced the arrival of the second guard.

“They had nothing,” he reported. “Nothing we could use to track them. No evidence whatsoever.”

“Damn,” the first guard replied, shaking his head. “Well, you two had better get some rest before you leave in the morning. I’ll have Gaius here keep an eye on you, but I need to get a report written for His High Majesty Terentius.” He placed as much contempt as he dared into the last four words.

“You don’t think much of him, do you?” I asked the guard as he limped towards the door. He then turned back to look at me, a somber expression upon his lined face.

“No, sonny, I don’t. He doesn’t give a cliffracer’s beak about his citizens and would prefer to just let us rot while he drowns himself in Skooma and wine. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving us to fight for what little rest we could hope for.

Posted by: mALX Mar 9 2011, 03:27 PM

The fight scene was ...uh...feel...funny... * mALX turned green * very graphic and detailed... * urg *... powerfully realistic... * gaaaack *


This line is outstanding! :

QUOTE

Sure the Fighters Guild had honor, but from my experiences with them it was found on the head of a Septim more than anything else.



Oooh! Tadrose to the rescue !!!


QUOTE

@sporky-eared squirrel:


SPEW !!!

And the mystery of why continues! Great Chapter !!!


*





Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 9 2011, 03:49 PM

Arrgh! I was afraid I was getting the two mixed up! I even peeked to make sure, damn it! My apologies to you, I hope Dere wasn't too offended at being mistaken for that other Bosmer (like most males tend to be wink.gif ).

QUOTE
Without a single thought as to what might happen to me, I kicked out at the assassin who’s blade remained poised to taste my blood.
It's highly amusing to me to read your very constructive criticism on another thread regarding its and it's, only to encounter the same mistake in your own fiction regarding who's and whose. nono.gif I must patiently bring to your attention that who breaks the same so-called rules as it - who's is a contraction of who is, while whose is the possessive form. blink.gif biggrin.gif

And another nit:
QUOTE
“They were Dark Brotherhood, sir.” Faith responded calmly, unphased by the Guard’s aggression.
I think you want unfazed here.

And actually, my Italian ancestors are from a little bit north of Sicily. Palermo, to be exact. But I'm at least a generation removed from the classic Italian/Sicilian rivalry, so I don't buy into it all that much. The southern cuisine is awesome! Nuttin like fresh tomaters! I'm right there with that crazy Skingrad Dunmer lady.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 9 2011, 03:55 PM

QUOTE(haute ecole rider @ Mar 9 2011, 07:49 AM) *

QUOTE
Without a single thought as to what might happen to me, I kicked out at the assassin who’s blade remained poised to taste my blood.
It's highly amusing to me to read your very constructive criticism on another thread regarding its and it's, only to encounter the same mistake in your own fiction regarding who's and whose. nono.gif I must patiently bring to your attention that who breaks the same so-called rules as it - who's is a contraction of who is, while whose is the possessive form. blink.gif biggrin.gif


Well, at least I admitted to my guilt of this error.... embarrased.gif

The difference between it's and its sticks out to me a lot more than who's and whose, even though they are exactly the same exception. I'll get it eventually, though...

They shall now be recorded in big bold letters on my front page so I might never make this error again.

Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 9 2011, 08:36 PM

And now the Dark Brotherhood enter's the picture. This could be a short story indeed for poor Derelas. Who will be after the poor guy next? Great installment here...keeping us all intrigued. goodjob.gif

I did find one nit...

His Imperial voice rang with conviction, causing my to shrink away in submission.
I'm assuming this should be me.

Looking forward to more...story that is...not nits.... wink.gif

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 10 2011, 01:54 AM

Hmmm, we have three tales of Bosmer boys, and two of Bosmer girls here at Chorrol. For the race that is usually picked on as 'most hated' or 'most annoying' in forum polls, wood elves are certainly popular in fiction!

Well that was an exciting conclusion to cliff's hanging! Once again Sera saves the day. Is that the third time now she has saved Dere's bacon?

Hmm, Ancient Vampires, Dark Brotherhood, Derelas certainly has a way of getting people mad at him! laugh.gif Who next!

Next it is off to Bravil, to see no less than Tadrose Helas! Oh wait, wrong Bosmer going to see Tadrose... wink.gif I guess Dere would not be as excited.

He doesn’t give a cliffracer’s beak
No one wants to give that cliffracer's beak away, it must sure be nice! Seriously, I love the little setting-friendly terms you have woven into your tale, such as the head of a septim.

Posted by: Acadian Mar 10 2011, 02:47 AM

This was nicely done, with plenty of time spent to fully develop the exciting fight with the assassins and the aftermath that followed.

Nice to see Faith again, albeit the circumstances were less than ideal! I enjoyed both what we learned from Faith and the whole scene involving the guards.

Lots of possibilities tug at the mind as for a cause for this attack by the Dark Brotherhood. Lead on! goodjob.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 11 2011, 10:37 PM

@mALX: I hope you didn't vomit, your car has enough problems as it is without you needing to clean sick out of the back-seat, too.

@haute ecole rider: Well, that was an embarrassing nit-catch.Time for me to keep a closer eye on that one.
And don't worry too much about mixing up the names, I'll only torture you slowly and flay you alive! evillol.gif

@TheOtherRick: Hopefully not that short, now that we know Tadrose will be on the case. wink.gif
Nit be picked.

@SubRosa: "Cliffracer's beak" is essentially a TES-ified version of "flying (you know)." After playing Morrowind for awhile, that's essentially what I felt they were like, little flying (bleep)s. It eventually got so bad that I installed a plugin specifically to pacify the bloody things. Now they are much easier to tolerate.

@Acadian: Happy you enjoyed the brief, but gruesome tussle. We will learn more about Bravil very soon.

@all: As I recall, Bravil is a city very important to several characters on this board. I must give forewarning that some might not approve of what I have done to the place. This is because I write my descriptions based on what I see in my game, and thus Bravil is receiving a bit of an overhaul. I hope I can be forgiven. smile.gif

next: We arrive at Bravil, the jewel of the Niben (or so they say).



Chapter 5-3: Bravil



The crumbling stone walls of the township rose upwards from the sea, the mossy crags giving me a strange image of them being sunken not long ago. Many of the crenellations were missing, and almost every watch tower was topped not with reinforced stone, but with rotting wood. The gatehouse bore several ballistae, aimed across the cliffs of the rocky moat that encircled the city. Access to the stag-embroidered gates was provided by a shaky-looking rope bridge. The nauseatingly sweet smell of decaying flesh preceded the multiple corpses hung in perpetuity on the farther side from the walls. Not two feet away from the hung bodies, a great wooden sign bore a simple phrase:

“Welcome to Bravil.”

Removing my eyes from the disgustingly sardonic sight, I caught Faith’s gaze and raised my eyebrows. Unseen words passed between us as we considered the run-down façade. I found myself questioning if I would really be safe here; safe in a town that considered execution and decay a comforting welcome home.

The air of neglect did not end with the city, however, not even close. The wilderness surrounding Bravil was a myriad of forgotten structures and overgrown fields. The wide, deliberate spacing of several of those fields led me to believe they were once farmland, their owners long since driven away. The crumbling ruins of nearby homes, their thatch completely rotted away, gave air to a long since past grandeur. The border watch tower for the county stood wrapped in a thin layer of cobwebs, having lain abandoned for centuries. Fungi grew with voracious vigor upon trees, rocks, fences; pretty much anything it could grab hold of. Faith actually ended up picking several of the more colorful varieties, as did I. Yellow cinnabar polyphore, for example, had marvelous restorative capabilities, excellent for the heart and lungs. We also harvested several heads of lavender, which Faith then showed me how to brew together with the equally widespread cairn bolete into a potion for restoring lost blood. This was particularly helpful for me, as my smarting wound was still in need of a healer’s touch.

Crossing the rickety old bridge was harrowing; it felt as if every step had to be chosen with care lest we tumble to our doom on the jagged rocks below. It was quite a relief to me when my feet found solid ground that didn’t ominously creak as if it was about to splinter. No guard stood at the gates to allow us entry, so I assumed that we were intended to admit ourselves. A push of the gate revealed it to be unlocked, and the dull creak of the wrought-iron hinges reverberated throughout the stone. With another shove, the gate swung open enough to admit me, and I ventured through the portal.

The city of Bravil proper immediately struck me as a place that had grown far too much far too fast. Every building was constructed of old, musty timber. There was very little architectural style to the buildings, leading me to conclude that several were built by the very people who dwelled within them. Many were haphazardly erected atop already existing structures, where the lack of skilled craftsmanship was further reinforced by their ominous tilting. It made me feel quite uneasy walking the narrow streets. It felt as if these extensions growing from the other buildings like tumors might come crashing down at any moment, crushing all who stood beneath them in an avalanche of splintered wood and rusted nails. The streets themselves were hard enough to negotiate as they were. Every inch of them not covered by moss and fungi was taken up by the remains of crates and barrels now so rotten even fire would reject them. Given the pervasive smell, it would also seem that wood was hardly the most popular fuel in this city, as well.

Eventually the constricting alleys opened onto a large square dominated by a great statue. The limestone effigy took the appearance of a proud, but caring old lady, her wrinkled hands reaching down to take the outstretched fingers of a young child. Many people stared upon her face, apparently awestruck, and I also saw someone walk up to the statue and kiss the cheek of the old lady.

“The Lucky Old Lady,” Faith responded to my unvoiced question in an unnaturally heavy voice. “It is rumored that to give her a kiss will bring you good fortune.”

“Have you tried before?” I asked.

“Only once,” Faith replied, her eyes glossing over. The threatening tears and rising color in her face made me quickly reconsider pressing the subject.

To the south of the great statue, the square became an open-air marketplace. It was packed to the britches with man, mer, and beast-folk milling about the canvas-covered stalls. Every so often I could catch the shouting of merchants advertising their products for all ears to hear:

“Fine mountain spring water, fresh from the Ethe! You have never had clearer water than this, my friends!”

“The finest game your tongue will touch! Such tender meat will melt upon your tasting! Come, sample! You have never tasted such finery before!”

“Only the finest forcemeats and sausages you will find here, my friends! Bold flavor at the price of the Era, for no one comes between a man and his sausage!”

We skirted the outside of the market to avoid the worst of the crowd, finding another narrow alleyway that brought us to the wider High Street. It was here that many of the more successful merchants had set roots into the moist soil of the city streets. Their shops had walls and doors, as well as colorful signs to advertise their presence. They were dedicated to such goods as archery gear and scribed spells. The presence of more pawnbrokers than there were more selective merchants did not escape me, though. This was a city of abject poverty, and I was fairly certain that few who lived here would be able to afford the finer goods that the specialized merchants tended to offer.

At the end of High Street stood a building constructed haphazardly of timber and hewn stone. It would have been unremarkable, save for the familiar blue and gold symbol of an eye fixing me with its persistent stare. All the trouble of this past week just to get to that one little building, I mused. I never thought traveling could be such a fraught activity. Unfortunately, the Guild of Mages would have to wait, for there was still the ordeal of my protection to attend to, and Faith would certainly have none of my wanderings.

The Guild of Fighters stood on the opposite end of High Street, its presence advertised by deep red banners with artistically woven blades upon them. Once the two of us found ourselves at the stairwell leading to the single creaky doorway, Faith halted.

“Well, here you are,” she told me. “Head inside and speak to Tadrose.”

“You’re not coming along?” I asked.

“No, you’re in safe hands now, and I really do need to get back to Cyrodiil City,” Faith responded, turning away. “Just do what Tadrose says, and you’ll be fine.”

“Then safe travels to you,” I bade her as she retreated up the muddy road. She raised a hand in farewell as a response.




----




The interior of the guild gave stark contrast to the cold, passionless façade it shared with almost every other building in the city. A fire roared away upon a stone hearth, where several vases of colorful flowers added a delightfully whimsical touch. A large dining table sat nearby, many chairs encircling it, though only one spot was actually set for a meal. The lobby into which I stepped was lined with racks upon racks of expertly sharpened blades and axes. Several carefully crafted bows with shining steel ears were displayed above them, and arrow-filled quivers were not far to be found. Several wooden dummies also stood along the walls, and many were clad in heavy mail that would certainly have floored me if I were to try it on. The guild was mostly empty, save for two members sparring together in the nearby ring and a single steel-skinned young man who was now making to greet me.

“Welcome to the Guild of Fighters,” the man who I decided was a porter greeted me formally. His sing-song voice gave him away as a Breton. “If you are looking to join, I am afraid our senior officer is away on official business right now, so you will have to return another time.”

My curiosity got the better of me. “What sort of official business?” I asked before I could catch myself. The porter looked slightly taken aback at my directness, but seemed to recover once he caught the embarrassment flooding my cheeks.

“You know of what happened at Kvatch, correct?” the porter asked me. I nodded my assent. “Well, believe it or not, someone managed to infiltrate and close the last remaining Oblivion Gate outside the city.”

“Really?” I interrupted. “Who?”

“Reports are conflicted,” the Breton responded, “Most say it was a Redguard with hair white as the highest peaks of Hrothgar itself, but others swear it was blond Nord who could not be touched by the Daedra’s magic. No one is really sure, but they have already started calling this person the Hero of Kvatch.

“Nevertheless, the remaining garrison of the city has called for reinforcements for a counter-offensive,” the porter continued. “Unfortunately, given the political strain the death of the Emperor has caused throughout Tamriel, the number of available Legion cohorts grows thin. Between the fall of the city and the closing of the Gate, not even a single conturbernii responded. They have since extended their plea for help to any organized fighting force who might be willing. Pappy was one of the first to respond.”

“Pappy?” I inquired.

“Our Commander, Gaius Vitellus. He took three units, ten fighters each, and left just yesterday,” the porter answered. “He left Tadrose in charge. Unfortunately she doesn’t possess the power to introduce new members, however she is quite well respected. Perhaps you wish to speak to her?”

“Yes, actually,” I responded. The porter beckoned me to follow.

He led me down into the rough stone basement, and the intense heat within immediately assaulted my eyes. Blinking away the dryness, I was able to discern the presence of a large forge, where a lithe, muscular Dunmer was hammering away at a blade glowing like Magnus itself with heat. Her flax shirt was stained with soot and sweat, and many strands of her black hair had fallen away from their tight bun from her exertions. I assumed she must have been Tadrose, given she was the only one besides me and the porter here.

“Ma’am?” the porter called out over the clanging of her mallet. She proceeded to stop and look up. “Is this a bad time?”

“It’s alright, Vincent, I was just finishing up,” Tadrose replied, sweeping loose strands of hair from her eyes as she quickly transferred the blade from her anvil to an iron trough filled with water. The resulting cloud of steam nearly turned the basement into a sauna. “What is it?” she then asked the porter.

“Someone to see you,” Vincent replied, retreating up the stairs back to his post.

“Thank you,” Tadrose called after him as he shut the door behind him. She then turned her fiery Dunmer eyes to me. “I apologize for my unkemptness,” she began, “but we are operating a bit of a tight ship at the moment. I’m Tadrose Helas,” she finished, holding out her hand to mine.

“Derelas,” I replied, gripping her callused palm. She then gripped our joined hands with her other, and I followed suit. Once we broke apart, she was prompt to ask about my presence:

“So, what brings you to me? I’m afraid I cannot be of much help if you are looking to join…”

“I’m not here to join,” I cut her off. “I’m here by request of Fathrian Dresdan. She said you’d understand.”

Tadrose’s gaze turned to stone when she heard the name. It took her several seconds before she was ready to respond to me again.

“Come with me,” she finally requested in a meek voice.

_______________________________________________


Post Script: Character references to Julian of Anvil, Jerric, and Gaius "Pappy" Vitellus are used with permission from their respective authors.

Posted by: mALX Mar 11 2011, 10:51 PM

QUOTE

The nauseatingly sweet smell of decaying flesh preceded the multiple corpses hung in perpetuity on the farther side from the walls. Not two feet away from the hung bodies, a great wooden sign bore a simple phrase:

“Welcome to Bravil.”

The air of neglect did not end with the city, however, not even close. The wilderness surrounding Bravil was a myriad of forgotten structures and overgrown fields. The wide, deliberate spacing of several of those fields led me to believe they were once farmland, their owners long since driven away. The crumbling ruins of nearby homes, their thatch completely rotted away, gave air to a long since past grandeur. The border watch tower for the county stood wrapped in a thin layer of cobwebs, having lain abandoned for centuries. Fungi grew with voracious vigor upon trees, rocks, fences; pretty much anything it could grab hold of.

Crossing the rickety old bridge was harrowing; it felt as if every step had to be chosen with care lest we tumble to our doom on the jagged rocks below.



This was an incredible introduction to Bravil - Awesome job of setting the scene !!!! Great Chapter !!

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 12 2011, 01:34 AM

I loved the contrast you created with rotting bodies next to the "Welcome to Bravil" sign! The whole place reminds of a Western boomtown that lost its boom, and is now on its last legs.

So Faith kissed the Lady once? I wonder what luck it brought her? I see Tadrose Helas is caught up with her as well, given her reaction. A very intriguing mystery there...

for no one comes between a man and his sausage!
Except maybe his girlfriend... wink.gif

“Most say it was a Redguard with hair white as the highest peaks of Hrothgar itself, but others swear it was blond Nord who could not be touched by the Daedra’s magic.
Hah! I love how you used both Jerric and Julian as the Hero of Kvatch in the DF! biggrin.gif



nit:
Not a nit, just an observation. In the Ancient Roman Legions, the smallest unit was a contubernium, or tent group. It was 8 fighting men plus 2 slaves, who all shared the same tent. It was led by a decanus. Since you used the term cohorts, I thought you might to do the same there. Although granted the term contubernium might confuse some folks (including Derelas!).

Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 12 2011, 01:47 AM

What a great chapter! I love your take on Bravil. I have always considered it a dirty little town, and your description fit the bill perfectly.

As I scrolled down to pick a quote or two, I see that SubRosa already picked out the D. Foxy-esque line about a man and his sausage. laugh.gif

Looking through the other lines I was going to quote, there are so many that I will just summarize. Your powers of description are worthy of aspiration! All of the little details have made this chapter so immersive.

Kudos to you oh Chef of Words! salute.gif Looking forward to more about what caused Tadrose to "meekly" ask Derelas to follow her...

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 12 2011, 01:52 AM

I quite enjoyed your introduction to Bravil. It closely fits my impression of the city as ramshackle walls, ramshackle buildings, even ramshackle bridges! biggrin.gif

QUOTE
no one comes between a man and his sausage!”
Except Lorena Bobbitt?

QUOTE
A fire roared away in a stone mantle, where several vases of colorful flowers added a delightfully whimsical touch.
This phrasing was confusing to me on several levels. First, did you mean mantel? Mantle means a cloak or covering, while mantel refers to the slab that makes up the top portion of the fireplace opening (and usually functions as a shelf of sorts). If you meant mantel, then a fire does not burn in a stone mantel. Perhaps A fire roared away on a stone hearth, or A fire roared away beneath a stone mantel, or A fire roared away in a stone fireplace would be better in that case.

Now this is more a style choice than anything else, and if this is part of Dere's 'voice,' then disregard. But I noticed that you tend to use a lot of verbs to describe a single action. Here's an example:
QUOTE
She proceeded to stop and look up.
Now if that's just the way Dere talks (and I know a few people who talk and write like that) then it's okay as long as it's confined to his narrative voice. But personally I find it a little distracting when simpler phrasing will work just as well and improves the flow of reading for me. For example, I would rewrite it as She stopped and looked up. At this point I'm not sure if this is just Dere's way of narration or not, but I thought I'd bring it up for your consideration.

Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter. From the outlying neglected farms to the ramshackle fortifications (what fortifications?) to the crammed open-air marketplace to the cozy interior of the Fighters Guild, and the wonderful personalities that occupy this chapter, everything is just wonderful!

And I think it is a great idea to point out that you borrowed a few characters from other people's fiction with their permission. It helps avoid the confusion that can happen when such borrowing goes on without clearing it with the character's creator first. Thanks!

Posted by: Acadian Mar 12 2011, 03:30 AM

You paint Bravil as a fascinatingly foreboding place! It seems to fit your story perfectly and I applaud you taking a slightly different path with it.

'Every inch of them not covered by moss and fungi was taken up by the remains of crates and barrels now so rotten even fire would reject them.'
I very much enjoyed your phrasing here!

It continues to be wonderful to hear of the Oblivion crisis via rumors and second hand information. Using a degree of confusion regarding whether the Kvatch gate was closed by Julian or Jerric works so perfectly here!

Posted by: Grits Mar 12 2011, 01:25 PM

I love the decomposing welcoming committee, it made me think of a Caribbean port with dead pirates.

Yellow cinnabar polyphore, for example, had marvelous restorative capabilities, excellent for the heart and lungs. We also harvested several heads of lavender, which Faith then showed me how to brew together with the equally widespread cairn bolete into a potion for restoring lost blood.

So much more interesting than saying “restore endurance” or “restore health.” I really like this part!

“Fine mountain spring water, fresh from the Ethe! You have never had clearer water than this, my friends!”

This touch really brought the mold and decay home, even the local water is probably gross.

My curiosity got the better of me. “What sort of official business?” I asked before I could catch myself. The porter looked slightly taken aback at my directness, but seemed to recover once he caught the embarrassment flooding my cheeks.

I enjoyed Derelas’s very Bosmer exchange with Vincent. The contradictory reports of the Gate closing were great! In the game all of the rumors are the same, but in a world with limited communication there would be a lot of conflicting information making the rounds. smile.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 14 2011, 02:07 AM

@mALX: Many thanks!

@SubRosa: I took the idea from two places. A: Your take on Bravil being an old silver mining boom-town (hence your conclusion), and B: from the Better Cities rendition of the town, which really drives home the point that this is the worst place in Cyrodiil to live save the Waterfront.
I looked at your suggestion, but decided instead of changing that sentence, I could add a little tidbit using your advice to flesh things out, so there's now a little extra bit there.

@Rick:Thank you much! I'm glad you find my world-building to be so inspirational! smile.gif

@rider: Ramshackle everything! I wish to communicate that the only things endearing about the city are the Lady's statue and the chapel.
The first nit is picked, but the second nit I left, as that is Dere's voice (which is strikingly similar to mine, as well). You might see a few more verb-heavy sentences later on, but I will be careful to keep the count low.

@Acadian: I do my best to give this story all the details of a mystery novel, complex plot, confusion over familiar events... etc. Also, there is a lot more to most of the character here, and their motivations, than meets the eye. Trust that there will be a bombshell or two in the near future. wink.gif

@Grits: Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you thought that my little reference to Julian and Jerric worked so well. smile.gif

@all: Now that we have set the scene, it is time to get some gears rolling. It's time to have our first real conversation with Tadrose, after all, and she means business!

next: More answers, but still more questions. Also, a little present for our hero...



Chapter 5-4: Passing the Torch



It was a relatively short wait for me back in the lobby. The moment we surfaced Tadrose asked, or rather demanded, that the room be cleared. The two sparring guild members were quick to disperse, making their way outside to continue their session, but Vincent was a bit different. He tried to protest, but quickly paled under a gaze so stern and fiery I could swear I saw tears of lava. She had then made a brief interlude upstairs to change her clothes, and now she was returning down the stairs, clad in a simple dark blue tunic. As she walked toward me, I noted how it accented her wiry feminine muscles and features in just the right places. There might be several people outside who wouldn’t mind a night or three in bed with her, but I quickly put those thoughts away, or at least tried.

“You are aware of the present state of affairs regarding yourself, correct?” Tadrose immediately asked me once she had closed the distance between us. She seemed remarkably similar to Faith in a way; same hair, same demeanor, even the same lithe build. This made me wonder what Faith might look like when she was not clad in bulky leathers.

“Hey, you awake?” Tadrose suddenly snapped, catapulting my thoughts back to Nirn.

“Yes, sorry,” I responded. “To answer your question, yes, I am aware that an ancient vampire is keeping tabs on me.”

“And now the Dark Brotherhood has moved on your life,” Tadrose finished. “I was hoping this would wait until much later, once you’d had time to acquaint yourself with the province, but obviously that’s smoke on the wind now.”

“Erm… what are you talking about?” I inquired perplexedly.

“The Children of Dawn, I trust you’ve been briefed on them?” Tadrose quipped briskly. This woman really meant business.

“Yes,” I replied, “but what do they have to do with this? I thought I was looking for aid from the Fighters Guild?”

“And you still are,” Tadrose replied. “We received the contract from the Children many years ago, kept on suspension until they deemed it time. It would appear that time is now.”

My head was sent reeling from this revelation. Years ago? Had they been planning for my arrival? Could they be responsible for my parents’ disappearance? The very thought of them being behind such a deed made me cringe and also planted a heavy dose of skepticism into my mind. Did these people, despite Faith’s help in keeping me breathing, really have my best interests in mind?

“How can I trust you?” I then finished my thoughts aloud.

“A wise question,” Tadrose replied. “Wait here.”

For a second time, she returned upstairs. This time, however, it took her a much shorter time to return. And when she did, she was carrying what looked like a thin stick. It was painted a glossy white which glinted energetically in the firelight. Every so often, the white turned to gold as brilliantly flowing natural patterns danced their way across the lengths. I then made out the presence of a hilt; this was a blade.

“We are aware of what happened to your kin,” Tadrose continued, “This is all we could recover.”

“Where did you find that,” I demanded, voice slightly croaky. I had recognized that sheath the moment I saw it… my father’s blade.

“The ruin is called Nornalhorst, and I shall not speak any further of it,” Tadrose replied, motioning for me to remain still and not bolt for the door as I most certainly had given away. “After a week’s passage without news from the expedition force, the Guild of Archaeology contracted us to find them. Unfortunately, we failed.”

My heart seemed to evaporate, as did my lungs. Failed? No, that’s not possible. My dad wouldn’t just disappear off the face of Mundus.

“Please,” Tadrose beckoned me as I opened my mouth to respond, forcing me to back down once again, “please save your questions and allow me to finish.

“As I was saying, we were unsuccessful,” Tadrose continued, shifting her grip on my father’s blade. “But not completely. We know not of what happened to those souls who disappeared, but we did find several of their belongings. This blade is inscribed with your family’s crest, right here.”

She brought the blade forth, indicating an engraving upon the hilt. I had never thought I would ever see the Kissing Mares again. My eyes were burning with tears at the sight.

“It is time this blade was returned to her rightful owner,” Tadrose then declared, holding the gleaming white sheath at arms length. “I believe that makes this yours, now.”

I took the blade in my two hands wordlessly. The very instant my hand touched the hilt, a nondescript warmth flooded through my fingertips as a brilliant orange glow pulsed through the golden bands. The blade rang with conviction and joy as I drew the blinding silver from its lightly curving sheath, just enough to reveal the coat of arms forged into the metal. It was so immaculate it would still shine forth even if all the lights in the world were extinguished. The Kissing Mares were seen once again where the blade met the pommel, and a subtle glow of orange that had nothing to do with the fire nearby remained ever present.

http://img714.imageshack.us/i/deresblade.jpg/

It was impossible for me to speak. Just holding his blade once again had caused my voice to fail. After examining every inch of it, I returned the sword to its sheath after what seemed like hours. Turning back to Tadrose, who was standing in silence out of either pity or respect for my father, she took the return of my attention as the signal to continue.

“Once again, the Children were involved in that contract. Several of their members were present in the search alongside the Guild. They were the ones who identified the perpetrators as vampires, for they had always been suspicious of Nornalhorst playing host to a brood. That everyone disappeared, however, was cause for alarm for them. Normal vampires just feed off the victims and leave them where they fell, you see. No, the Children decided this meant the presence of an ancient.”

“Forgive me for asking,” I interrupted, wiping away the tears from my eyes, “but what in the name of Y’ffre makes an ancient so bad?”

“That they are very old vampires who have unlocked their true strength,” Tadrose replied. “Most broodspawn, which are what account for most of the vampires in this world, are not aware of what they are capable of. However, that is beside the point. Why the Children thought he would target you in particular I do not know, but they are funding the contract so I am not one to question them.”

“What of the Brotherhood,” I persisted with my inquiries, “what do they have to do with this?”

“A reinforcement to the Children’s position,” Tadrose replied. “They believe the one whom the ancient will take is the same one whom the Brotherhood will try to kill.”

Why did I get the feeling Tadrose was keeping something from me about this ancient?

“And this contract is to protect my life?” I then asked.

“I’m sorry, but the details are not for your ears,” Tadrose brushed away my question. This all but confirmed my conclusion; now I knew Tadrose was keeping something from me. “But yes, we will be working to keep you alive, if you wish to know.”

She then dismissed me, requesting that I remain in the city until I heard from her again. She also directed me to visit the chapel of Mara and ask for Marz to see to my wound. With that, I turned to leave the guild as the sun’s last rays disappeared over the crumbling walls of the city.




----




Once the door snapped shut, Tadrose immediately strode for her quarters with speed rivaling a jay on the wind. Locking the door behind her, she quickly drew forth a quill and inkpot, along with some parchment and began to scribble away. Her fingers were a blur of activity as she wrote.

White Wolf:

The Brotherhood has moved. Far sooner than we had hoped, possibly the work of Valtieri. We cannot keep him here forever, not in a city so well connected to him. We may need to call the Shadowblades into service if things get messy here, which they will. You know where. Recommend relocating to Anvil with all haste.

Swamp Fox


Once finished, she placed the letter into an envelope and sealed it not with the Fighters Guild seal, but with a blank one. The letter remained without an address.

“Vincent!” Tadrose called, returning to the lobby. The steel mail-clad Breton was quick to respond.

“Ma’am?”

Tadrose handed him the envelope. “You know who this is for,” Tadrose stated, “be quick.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Vincent replied, eying the blank seal as he hurried for the door.

Posted by: Acadian Mar 14 2011, 03:09 AM

I think a sword with kissing mares on the hilt is such a beautiful idea! Brilliant!

So Tadrose is a fox? We knew that! tongue.gif

Nits:
The ruin is called Nornalhorst, and I shall not speak any further of it,” Tadrose replied, motioning for me to remain still and bolt for the door as I most certainly had given away. “After a week’s passage without news from the expedition force, the Guild of Archaeology contracted us to find them. Unfortunately, we failed.”
I am unsure what the bolded part means.

'My dad wouldn’t just disappear of the face of the Earth.'
I would change the first 'of' to 'off' and you might also consider substituting Nirn for Earth?

“But yes, it we will be working to keep you alive, if you wish to know.”
This does not make sense, but I think removing the 'it' would remedy that. smile.gif

Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 14 2011, 03:29 AM

I really enjoy the way you consistantly keep us hanging, not unlike a chef teasing the palate before the next course. You done it again with the mysterious letter to White Wolf. WTG Chef! goodjob.gif

I caught the same nit that Acadian did -
“The ruin is called Nornalhorst, and I shall not speak any further of it,” Tadrose replied, motioning for me to remain still and {not} bolt for the door as I most certainly had given away.
I am assuming the not was missing.


Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 14 2011, 04:28 AM

Mysteriouser and mysteriouser!

Dere's father's blade returns! However, its appearance adds to the mystery. What really happened to his parents? Why is an ancient after him? Why are the Children of Dawn so vested in his survival?

I'm certain all will be answered in due time.

Acadian already caught my nits. biggrin.gif

Posted by: mALX Mar 14 2011, 04:53 AM

The mystery grows deeper and more intriguing with each chapter!!!


My fave line has to be this:


"With that, I turned to leave the guild as the sun’s last rays disappeared over the crumbling walls of the city."


Slipped in so easily a reminder of his first impression of Bravil, Awesome Chapter !!!



Posted by: Destri Melarg Mar 14 2011, 09:24 AM

Just read Chapter 1. You know, starting a story with a dream sequence can degenerate into cliche unless the writer knows what he/she is doing. You, sir, know what you are doing! You had me at 'Y'ffre'. I'll be back when I've caught up.

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 14 2011, 04:55 PM

I have been meaning to ask for a while now: you treat us all pictures of the towns and places Derelas goes, but not to any of our Bosmer bowman himself. How about some beefcake shots of our intrepid wood elf?

I could swear I saw tears of lava
A wonderful phrase.

There might be several people outside who wouldn’t mind a night or three in bed with her
I can think of a stringy Bosmer who would like to sign up for that! laugh.gif

Did these people, despite Faith’s help in keeping me breathing, really have my best interests in mind?
This is what I keep wondering.

A wonderful description of Derelas' drawing of the sword. However you might want to put a little more description of the sword itself in the text. That is is single bladed, has a curve, etc... I know you have the picture, but it might not be there in all formats.

Why did I get the feeling Tadrose was keeping something from me about this ancient?
Why do I get the same feeling? It seems that between her and the CoD, people are keeping an awful lot from our Dere. Which makes them rather hard to trust. Poor Derelas, what has gotten himself into!

Posted by: Grits Mar 15 2011, 02:14 AM

We know not of what happened to those souls who disappeared, but we did find several of their belongings.

Uh oh. Vampires and disappeared, quite worrisome. Dere’s father would certainly not have left that blade behind.
blink.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 16 2011, 08:01 PM

@Acadian: Thank you. This builds off of a medieval tradition, that every comfortably off family had a coat of arms. Now you know Dere's.
Nits be picked.

@TheOtherRick: An excellent comparison! goodjob.gif

@schrodinger's cat rider: You must have already picked up on the fact that I like mystery plots. This is very much one, but don't worry. I am aware of all the questions that need answering.

@mALX: Deeper and more intriguing? I hope to go even further than that. How soon I cannot tell you, but keep reading to find out.

@Destri Melarg: First off, welcome back! I certainly have been busy in your absence! Thank you for your insight, I'm very glad you think I have avoided that cliche so far. I did my best with it, so I'm glad it paid off. Dreams may be touchy in writing, but they are a good way to get things started in the TES universe; that's why I chose that approach.

@SubRosa: I'll get there soon enough with some pictures of him, don't worry. He's just a little outside my expectations right now. I need to get him dressed properly and give him proper equipment and all that, and get him to Bravil (well, that's what Frostcrag is good for, at least). And here we have another key element of the mystery story: not knowing who to trust. That's exactly what I was shooting for here, so I'm glad you picked up on that.
As for the blade, the reasonable excuse is that it wasn't drawn all the way. Dere only drew it enough to view the coat of arms. I will edit that part a bit to reflect that so less confusion arises, though.

@Grits: Definitely not good, and also why Dere so wanted to go straight to the ruins to look around.

@all: Thank you all for your continued support.

next: A bit of an emergency arises.



Chapter 6-1: A Healer’s Touch



A sharp stinging sensation in my right arm woke me from my slumber. I had chosen to stay at a small, but cozy inn called Silverhome On The Water for the night after finding Marz had finished her services when I first arrived at the chapel. Now, a tossy-turny night’s sleep later, the deep wound in my arm had begun to smart afresh. Pulling back the sleeve of my nightgown, I encountered a sight that nearly made me gag.

Where once there was red had now turned a sickly green, and blue veins were beginning to pop up from beneath my skin. Angry red cobwebs of irritation had spun themselves across my skin, and my wound was bleeding again… but this time, not blood. Any attempt to touch the festering gash was met with such piercing pain it was akin to sticking my arm with a giant nail where I touched it. All this, despite the fact that I had specifically applied a generous coating of disinfectant lotion before going to sleep. There must have been something in the bedding here; I’ve never had any problems with festering wounds when I used that recipe before. This made me quite unhappy. I only had the one bottle from when I left Valenwood.

After dressing quickly, I struck an urgent pace as I made my way for the door of the inn, ignoring the keeper’s bid of good morning. I needed to see Marz straightaway, or the Dark Brotherhood would be the least of my worries.




----




“Here for Marz again, are you?” the elderly Primate inquired as a way of greeting. “She’s right over there.”

The Breton indicated an Argonian nearby the Grand Altar of Mara. She was kneeling before it, deep in prayer. I hated to interrupt her, but given that the wound in my arm had gone from glassy as the Rumare to festering like a rotten swamp, I decided things were urgent enough. I would pray for forgiveness later, if need be.

“Marz?” I requested. The Argonian quickly stood in response to her name, looking reproachful, but otherwise attentive. “I apologize for interrupting your morning prayer, but I felt this couldn’t wait.”

“There are many who think the same,” Marz responded, eyes narrowing and a light hiss of annoyance upon her tongue. “You wouldn’t believe the number of people here who think scraping themselves against a thorny board is enough to come to my doorstep, screaming bloody murder. I really do hope this is good, because I have had close to enough of my time wasted already.”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t have disturbed your prayers if I didn’t think it wasn’t worth your time,” I replied, raising my right sleeve. The Argonian’s irritated expression then slid off her face faster than ice melting in magma, replaced with a mingled expression of shock and concern.

“By Mara, what happened to you?!” she exclaimed indignantly.

“Someone tried to kill me a couple of days ago,” I replied. “Long story, but the wound was fine until last night. I tried to find you last evening, but you had gone to bed already, so I had to wait. Obviously, I waited a bit too long,” I finished sheepishly.

“A bit?” Marz continued, “I’m surprised you can still walk! You should be bedridden with a fever greater than the heat of the Deadlands right now!”

Maybe that disinfectant had done something then, I wondered to myself. I wasn’t familiar with the diseases here in Cyrodiil, but given Marz’s reaction to my wound, it made me quite certain that, at least here, they could be lethal. Suddenly, I felt much differently about my using the lotion.

“Well, I did treat it before going to bed,” I told Marz. “It was a distilled lotion of tinder polyphore and foxglove nectar.”

“Not an easy recipe,” Marz commented, “but sound for your application. That might have stopped the worst of this, but it’s still going to be rather difficult to tend to. Not to mention painful.”

I repressed a grimace. Just because I completely expected this didn’t make it any easier for me to hear.

“Give me your arm,” Marz then requested. At my hesitation, she then continued, “I need contact in order to help you. I know it hurts, but there really is no other way.”

I slowly held out the infected wound, watching as Marz brought her fingers to it as gently as she could. The moment they touched my raw skin, pain seared through my body like a freshly forged dagger plunging through my chest. I bit back my anguished cry, coming dangerously close to severing my tongue.

Then the pain faded. It fell from a fiery shock to a painful prickle before finally ending on a dull throb. I felt a surge of energy coursing through my body, emptying it of every last trace of my torture. My body was bathed in bright white light as two great swirls danced around me; all a joyous celebration of life and wellness. When the light finally faded away, I could feel no trace of the damage that was done to me.

The joy in my heart was not shared by Marz, unfortunately. She was breathing quite heavily, and made a beeline for one of the wooden pews. After a very ungraceful collapse into the seat, she turned back to me.

“That is the best I can do,” she told me as I eyed an obvious U-shaped scar on my arm where the cut had once dwelled. “If you had arrived sooner, we might have even been able to avoid the scarring. The wound was deep, though; the blade that cut you nearly struck the bone. You are quite lucky to be alive after that infection, too, Bosmer.”

“And I most surely would be dead had it not been for your skill,” I complimented her, hoping it might ease some of the tension in her weary muscles. “Thank you.”

“Oh, well… thank you for your gratitude,” Marz replied. “That’s not something worth five to the Drake here, I appreciate it.”

“How did you get so skilled?” I then decided to ask.

“Through much toil and hardship,” Marz commented. “Why, do wish to learn more about the healing arts?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” I replied.

“Well, it will have to wait for another time, I’m afraid,” came Marz’s response. Her tired eyes glanced towards the luminescent stained glass portrait of the chapel’s namesake Divine. “Serious wounds are quite exhausting for me.”

“I understand,” I replied. I would not bother this woman any further, as she obviously wished for some time to herself. I made my way back outside.

The grandiose Great Chapel of Mara was by far the most impressive building in the entire city; even the muddy castle paled in comparison to its granite arches and spires. The bell tower bore its description perfectly, towering above the ramshackle cottages and bungalows of the city. As I shut the great oak doors behind me, a grand, charismatic bell tolled. I guessed by the position of the sun that it might be the tenth bell of the day. Just visible above me was a vibrant mural of glass depicting a young woman clothed in green robes and wearing an expression of infinite understanding and compassion. This chapel was probably the most popular landmark within these walls for a very good reason, I thought. Just one look at the state of living in Bravil would make even the crassest man wrinkle his nose in disgust. Hope for a better future was probably all that many of the people here had.




----




The great blue eye of the Mages Guild followed me to the single door leading inside. Since I was going to be bound to the walls of this city for a few days, I felt that I might as well get on with what I came here for. Besides, my initial gut reaction to find Nornalhorst as soon as I could had been replaced with sense as I slept. I didn't even know where the place was, let alone how to get there. The inside of the Guild was just as much a contrast to the outside as was the Guild of Fighters. A warm fire blazed in the dining hall to my right, where the table was lavishly (for Bravil, that is) decorated with ceramic utensils and plates. Just ahead of me, an Altmer nearly twice my height stood behind a glass counter, hard at work with her mortar and pestle. The acrid fumes of her calcinator were offset by the many sticks of incense softly smoking on nearby shelves, filling the guild with a delightful scent of lavender. Finally, a woman clad in blue suede, very obviously a Breton, was strolling throughout the lobby, her hand to her mouth as if deeply pondering something. She looked magisterly enough; I made my approach.

“Excuse me,” I inquired, “but are you the magister?”

“What?” the woman responded. Her voice was quite powerful and invigorating, and she held herself with supreme confidence. “Oh, sorry. No, I’m not her, that would be Kud-Ei. She’s right over there.”

She indicated a deeply troubled Argonian sat in a corner looking very much like she wished to remain undisturbed. It was then I realized I had completely forgotten what Deetsan had told me back in Cheydinhal. No doubt that information was unequivocally lost in the Yews.

“Thank you,” I replied, carefully skirting the fact that I had forgotten about Kud-Ei. “And well met, as well. I’m Derelas,” I then greeted the Breton.

“Delphine Jend,” she replied with much pomp. “Advanced Trainer in Destruction, and mage destined for great things. It is an honor to meet you, Bosmer.”

Her voice resounded throughout the hall, and I got the feeling she was speaking for more than just herself. I was quite sure everyone here now knew my name after that most ceremonious greeting.

“Well, you seem quite busy, so I’ll leave you to your thoughts then,” came my sheepish response. I quickly ducked away into Kud-Ei’s corner before Delphine could continue.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t notice you.” Kud-Ei responded to my intrusion. Given the racket Delphine had just made, that must mean she was quite worried, indeed. “I’m Kud-Ei, magister for Bravil. I’m sorry, but I’m a little pre-occupied right now.”

“What with?” I then asked strategically, but hopefully empathetically. “Maybe I can help.”

Kud-Ei then took a moment to size me up, from my walnut trusses and braids all the way down to my slightly overlarge feet. Afterwards, she returned her gaze to my own.

“Yes, maybe you could. I need some help with a friend of mine.”

Posted by: mALX Mar 16 2011, 08:28 PM

Loved the description of the healing process from the healee's point of view! Oooh, I see trouble ahead now for Dere, lol. Great Chapter !!

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 16 2011, 09:26 PM

Your description of the festered wound sounds to me like you've had one before, or seen one of that nature. They are gross and disgusting, especially when the immune system isn't working well. Ugh.

The healing process is wonderfully described, as well as the Chapel of Mara, complete with the stained glass windows and murals. As a matter of fact, you make it sound much grander than the matter-of-fact Romanesque pile of stone it really is in game. But that's all right - it adds to the atmosphere of Bravil as a stark contrast to the general mud and squalor.

QUOTE
The bell tower bore its description perfectly, towering above the ramshackle cottages and bungalows of the city.
I smiled at this - I see you used my favorite description of the town! tongue.gif

QUOTE
Finally, a woman clad in blue suede, very obviously a Breton, was strolling throughout the lobby, her hand to her mouth as if deeply pondering something. She looked magisterly enough; I made my approach.
Delphine Jend, a magister? *shudder* What on nirn is the Mages Guild coming to? Oh, wait, it's Kud-Ei that's the magister! Whew! *wipes brow melodramatically*

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 16 2011, 10:35 PM

Has Derelas gotten himself gangrene! Looks like he should have put some maggots in that wound.

After her initial snarkiness, Marz comes through in the end. She - and the chapel - fit perfectly into your rough and worn version of Bravil.

“How did you get so skilled?” I then decided to ask.
“Through much toil and hardship,” Marz commented.

I loved this exchange. So true of so many things!

Hmmm, why do I think Derelas is going to be taking a trip down dream lane?

Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 16 2011, 11:02 PM

Another tasty installment, if we can agree to call festering pus-filled wounds tasty. tongue.gif Our two trains of thought are soon to be traveling the same tracks, as Talendor is bound for Bravil to seek Kud-Ei and Henantier as well. I am not going to read the next installment until I have posted that segment for fear of derailing my train.

I also liked the way you made Chapel Mara stand out amongst the filth of Bravil.

One nit...sort of -
“Delphine Jend,” she replied with much pomp. “Advanced Trainer in Destruction, and mage destined for great things. It is an honor to meet you, Bosmer.”
Her voice resounded throughout the hall, and I got the feeling she was speaking for more than just herself. I was quite sure everyone here now knew my name after that most ceremonious greeting.

I never saw Delphine mention Derelas' name...

I am anxiously looking forward to reading about the dreamworld after posting my own. goodjob.gif

Posted by: Acadian Mar 17 2011, 01:38 AM

I agree that Dere's description of being healed by Marz was wonderful.

The paragraph you used to introduce the mages guild was fabulous! Here, you very efficiently painted a full picture that delighted all the senses.

Posted by: Grits Mar 17 2011, 03:07 PM

My body was bathed in bright white light as two great swirls danced around me; all a joyous celebration of life and wellness.

I enjoyed the entire section from the (gross!) wound to the healing, but this line stood out the most to me. smile.gif

Your description of the guild hall brought it to life, then your Delphine and Kud-Ei made it feel inhabited by real people. goodjob.gif

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 18 2011, 06:31 PM

@mALX: There's trouble ahead, alright.

@haute ecole rider: That's because I don't consider the chapels to be Romanesque. One look at them, and I see large windows, pointed arches, flying buttresses... that all screams "Gothic" to me. Bravil is, without a doubt, the town most similar to cities in the Middle Ages, being almost entirely slummy, run-down streets and buildings. However, at least they put a lot by their gods, enough to build a decent church, at least.

@SubRosa: I'm glad you enjoyed the little exchange between Dere and Marz. Hopefully the two of them will see more of each other, but let's concentrate on the business at hand first.

@Rick: Don't be gone too long. tongue.gif
As for your nit, I decided to leave it be, because that was part of Dere's thoughts and simply an expression.

@Acadian: I expect no less than the best from the Bravil guild. wink.gif

@Grits: Thank you very much. smile.gif

@all: We have dreams to infiltrate, and a certain magister to please. How will this turn out? Nobody knows... yet.

next: We're off to see the wizard....



Chapter 6-2: The Stuff of Dreams



“Okay, let me recap,” I spoke. Kud-Ei had finished explaining her plight to me. It was quite an earful, so I wanted to go over it to myself to make sure I had the details. “Your friend Henantier is stuck in the Dreamworld because an experiment of his went pear-shaped, and you want me to find a way into his dreams so I can rescue him?”

“That pretty much sums it up,” Kud-Ei responded, fidgeting uncomfortably in her chair. All well and good, but there was still a white guar in the room needing addressing.

“Well, why ask me? Wouldn’t you be more trusting if you asked someone you knew for help?”

“Because I know them too well, and I know that they tend to ask awkward questions,” Kud-Ei replied. “Besides, it will look less suspicious having someone new perform this task.” This response concerned me a bit; she was certainly working for discretion, and such figures have turned out to be a bit… shady for me, despite their sincerity.

“And why is that?” I inquired, not caring about the part she had stated about awkward questions. She proceeded to narrow her eyes before giving a deep sigh.

“Well, I guess this has to come out sooner or later,” she told me. “But we can’t talk here. Follow me.”

She led me out of the guild hall, down High Street a small ways, and stopped at the front door to a rather unremarkable house. She quickly inserted a small key to unlock the door, then beckoned me inside.

“Alright, since you’ve agreed to do this for me, you might as well know a few details, if it will make you feel better,” Kud-Ei spoke after locking the door behind us. “I don’t want to go through the regular channels of the Mages Guild because this isn’t the first time Henantier has tried these sorts of experiments. He was quite ambitious during our tenure together at the University, and had a knack for performing unusual, and dangerous, experiments. He had to be told several times to stop, and for a time after that horse mishap, he did. And I will have you know he had no involvement in that affair, as well," she added rather pointedly. I didn't quite understand what she was talking about, but I decided to ignore it -- at least for now.

“That was until recently, when he nearly killed two members while testing a new spell,” Kud-Ei continued, becoming increasingly uncomfortable with every word spoken. “Then the Council threatened him with expulsion if he continued. And now, he’s done it again.”

Kud-Ei paused for breath, and also seemed to be bracing herself. For what, I could not tell. I remained silent, waiting for Kud-Ei to finish before letting loose my deluge of questions.

“He just can’t help himself, you see, he dearly loves his studies and equally loves to push his boundaries; he just can’t seem to figure out where to stop. I can’t ask anyone for help that I know because I’m trying to keep this as quiet as I can, for fear of Henantier’s future. I don’t wish to see him expelled, even if his thirst for knowledge comes before his better judgment. That’s why I’m asking you to do this. You are new to the Guild, unknown. If you help me, it will be easier for me to keep this affair off the records.”

Could anyone in this town not keep a secret?

“Okay, so… I can help you most because you don’t know me?” I asked, still not being able to put something together. “That seems rather backward to me, you know.”

“And that’s exactly it,” Kud Ei responded, looking quite desperate now. “I don’t know you, therefore the guild doesn’t know you, and that makes it easier for me to ensure this never happened. That’s the key here; this never happened. If the Council catches wind of this, Henantier’s days in the guild are through, and I don’t think I could stan… I don’t wish to see him gone.”

She was certainly going out of her way here, I thought. She must really care for this man… mer… well, whatever.

“Okay, say I accept,” I began, “what happens when this is all done?”

“You’re looking for recommendations, right?” Kud-Ei replied. “I could see to it that you get one.”

“I thought this was supposed to be off the record?”

“And it will be,” Kud-Ei told me, motioning for me to quiet down. “This is the Bravil branch, and we are known for being rather clever.”

I then took a moment to ponder the Argonian’s request. I help her with a task she can trust no one but the least trustworthy person in the room to do, and in return I receive a recommendation that might undo everything we worked for here. Well, she said she could cover this up, and she looked like she had the cleavage to do it, so on her own green scaly head be it.

“Where is Henantier?”




----




“This is Henantier.”

Kud-Ei indicated a very well-grown Altmer in bed, who we found a flight of stairs above where we spoke. He was mostly concealed by the covers, but his golden head remained above the sea, which was tossing him about like a flimsy dory.

“You’ll need this to enter his Dreamworld,” Kud-Ei told me, holding a small silver amulet in her hand. It glowed green with magical energy, which gradually wound its way across the chain before converging on a small black stone in the center of the amulet, where it then started again. “It is inlaid with black pearl, a most expensive and precious stone revered by seers. They say it has the power to unlock our deepest dreams… and our deepest fears.”

I was not-very-suddenly starting to have second thoughts about agreeing to this. I was never told I would be wearing strange jewelry with some brain-sucking crystal, especially one that 'unlocks your fears'.

“So, I understand I need to wear this,” I responded, taking the amulet from Kud-Ei’s clawed fingers. “What will it do?”

“The enchantment will make you drowsy at first. Once you fall asleep, it will then allow the black pearl access to your mind. This is a special amulet, though, Henantier asked me only to use it in case of an emergency. It will not access your mind, it will instead bridge your mind into Henantier’s, meaning you will be visiting his dreams.” Kud-Ei explained to me quickly. She seemed to be in a mighty hurry to put me to bed, she almost seemed like a mildly overbearing mother. “Now please, over here.” She indicated an empty bed very close to Henantier’s; one which I had a fleeting feeling was only recently separated from the other. “Put the amulet on, and let it take hold of you. Once you are inside Henantier’s dreams, try and find a way to get him out.”

“Would that be in any way dangerous?” I inquired. Given that I was liking this plan less and less every second, the answer was very predictable.

“It… might,” Kud-Ei responded hesitantly. “He created this Dreamworld to test his mettle and resolve, so there might be some challenge involved. Do take care not to get killed, though. Henantier told me little about the place, but he did say that being killed in the Dreamworld would mean death to your physical body, as well.”

Damn.

“Now please, there is very little time to lose,” Kud-Ei then encouraged me, motioning with vigor to the bed. Gritting my teeth at what I was getting myself into, I slipped the amulet over my shoulders and around my neck, and sank beneath the covers of the slightly lumpy bed.

Drowsiness hit me like a wallop to the stomach. My eyelids had turned to marble, and I was now waging an epic battle to keep them open, just long enough to say a little prayer.

“Ever watchful Lord of Horses, may your guidance never waver, and may your hooves beat always within my green fields of knowing.”




----




My eyes flew open. I was standing once again in the bedroom, but it had been altered nearly beyond recognition. Before I could drink everything in, though, a sudden chill immediately brought my attention to another fact. I had been changed, as well. And not in a very comforting way.

“Oh, great,” I muttered to myself, rolling my eyes. She just had to forget to mention I couldn’t take my clothes with me, didn’t she?

Posted by: ghastley Mar 18 2011, 07:05 PM

This sentence is awkward.
He had to be told several times to stop, and for a time after that horse mishap, which he had no involvement in I will tell you now, he did.
Maybe split it in two?
He had to be told several times to stop, and for a time after that horse mishap he did. Not that he had any involvement in it, I will tell you now.

Other than that it's a great exposition of the state of mind of those involved, especially getting him to agree before he's really ready.

Posted by: Grits Mar 18 2011, 07:53 PM

I like Kud-Ei’s desperate defense of Henantier’s actions, despite the obvious difficulty he has caused both of them. It shows how much she cares for him even more than the recently separated beds. Leaving the clothes behind is one thing, but the Kissing Mares blade might have come in handy!

Posted by: mALX Mar 18 2011, 10:18 PM

QUOTE

She seemed to be in a mighty hurry to put me to bed, she almost seemed like a mildly overbearing mother.


ROFL !!!!


This chapter was GREAT !!! Your combination of humor and depiction of Kud-Ei kept me in stitches !!! Awesome Write !!!

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 19 2011, 12:16 AM

And off we go . . .

This is one of the more bizarre quests I've ever participated in. Not even Shivering Isles could beat this one for sheer weirdness. It'll be interesting to see how Dere handles the challenges ahead of him.

Enjoyed Kud-Ei's squirming while trying to convince Dere to go for it. He's smart enough to know she's hiding something! And it seems to me he's smart enough to know what it is!

I agree with ghastley on the sentence he singled out. Do take another look at it. Anytime this speed reader needs to read the same sentence more than once means it's not that well crafted. Lucky you, it's the only one I faltered over in the entire chapter, and it's something that's rare in the entire story!

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 19 2011, 12:44 AM

and for a time after that horse mishap
The horse mishap? What did Maxical do now? laugh.gif

so on her own green scaly head be it
A wonderful setting-friendly phrase!

So Derelas is off to dreamy-dream land! With nothing but his birthday suit no less! Too bad Faith is not there to see it! wink.gif

nits:
The is the Bravil branch
Looks like Henantier's unconstrained id switched your This with a The.

“unlocks your fears.”
Just an observation, but you might consider using 'single' quotations here instead of "double", to make it more clear that this is not dialogue.

“Would that be in any way dangerous?” I inquired{.}
The pirates from Henantier's black pearl pillaged your period.

Posted by: Acadian Mar 19 2011, 02:22 AM

My goodness. It was BB (before Buffy) that last I did this quest, so I am so looking forward to having Dere show it to me.

I agree with mALX (always a wise decision) that your use of humor in Dere's observations was a welcome treat. Oh, and I'll bet SubRosa is right; Maxical could tell you about that horse mishap.

'but there was still a white guar in the room needing addressing.'
What a cleverly effective and TES-ie picture this suggests!

“This is the Bravil branch, and we are known for being rather clever."
tongue.gif


Nit:
'He was quite ambitious during out tenure together at the University,'
I'm sure you meant 'our' vs 'out' here.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 22 2011, 08:59 PM

@Gastley Graves: Thank you, both for your comment and your nit.

@Grits: Kud-Ei definitely cares for Henantier, I'm glad that came off with a clear meaning for you.

@mALX: But do I have to go to bed, mommy? I keep having nightmares. tongue.gif

@rider: Yes, Kud-Ei's excuses do seem rather transparent, don't they? That's because they are, and we will find out why very soon. I never liked how easily she seemed to get you involved in all this, so at the same time as giving you all a neat adventure, I am also giving my responses to how she handled this. This theme will continue throughout the chapter.
That brain-collapsingly complex sentence has now been simplified.

@SubRosa: Well, she certainly didn't do anything like blow up the arena or give Irlav Jarol an aneurysm, and perhaps a unibrow. Indeed, too bad for Sera, though Dere might not share that opinion.
Nits be picked.

@Acadian: Guars remind me a lot of elephants, and they do tend to stand out. It's a lot of fun TES-ifying modern slang. biggrin.gif
Nit be picked.

@all: Sorry for the brief absence, I had to deal with a few RL matters. Namely getting back onto my school schedule with Spring Break being over, along with some spring cleaning. Most of that is finished now, so I shall be continuing onwards.

next: The trials of a semi-clueless wood elf begin. (Cookie for anyone who gets the reference)



Chapter 6-3: Through A Nightmare, Darkly



I tried and failed to repress a shiver that was only half-triggered by the sudden chill. I was completely disrobed; I could see every little detail of my farmer-tanned body, now glowing with a subtle green tint. I could view everything from my flat, not very prominent male breasts down to the tuft of black hair hiding that one part no one ever wanted to see. I wished I could have been warned about this, even if it were impossible to predict this would happen. It’s never any fun to lose your clothes.

I then drew my eyes to the room I was inhabiting. It looked similar to the room Henantier was sleeping in, but it had been altered and twisted almost beyond recognition. The entire room was bathed in a blood-red light, making me recall a number of strange dreams. Immediately in front of me, a giant cavern had grown from the wall. Numerous baseboards from the floor and ceiling had been splintered and torn asunder, and the bed I had been sleeping on was turned on its end. This lent a voracious viciousness to the scene before me, causing me to shudder with uncertainty and vulnerability.

I reached for the pommel of the artful blade I had belted to my side this morning, only to find it gone. That, along with my missing clothing, led me to the most unfortunate conclusion that I had brought nothing with me but the wretched amulet around my neck. Anger boiled the blood beneath my glowing skin; how could I be so stupid? Why did I ever trust that this would all work out okay? Kud-Ei had swindled me, and I wanted no more of this nonsense.

My left hand flew for the black pearl amulet and tried with all its might to rend it from around my neck. When it didn’t budge, I tried again… and again… and again.

“Why does the frightened lamb flee? There is no way out… no way out but forward.”

I gave pause with my increasingly futile attempts to tear away the jewel. I knew that voice… female, but twisted and terrible.

“The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch…” she continued, maliciousness oozing from every pore of her voice, sending my neck hairs on end and deep, visible shivers down my spine. “So now you know, dear… run and catch.”

Great red eyes flashed into visibility before my own, burning through my flesh with their fiery gaze. But an instant later, they were gone, leaving nothing but a furious glow where they had scorched their visage upon me. My entire body was shivering now, with a familiar ice dripping down my neck. This wasn’t my nightmare -- but it was learning fast.

It was only then that I noticed I was not alone in the room. An Altmer was present as well, cowering in a distant corner and looking like vapor about to be whisked away by the slightest breeze, making me uncertain if I should walk too close. He appeared not to have noticed me, which was good, considering the circumstances. I made my way over to the corner he was hiding in.

“Umm… are you Henantier?” I asked the shivering Altmer. He responded by whimpering quietly and shrinking further away from me than I thought might be possible, eyes wide as dinner plates as they stared unblinkingly at my feet. He was very clearly scared out of his wits, as if he had no courage whatsoever. And why did he look like he was made of wisps of smoke, too? What did this mean? Why didn’t that s’wit Kud-Ei tell me anything about what I was supposed to do? I so wanted to speak to Equine now, ask his assistance, but I was not sure if my thoughts would penetrate the blackened veil of Henantier’s Dreamworld. Nonetheless, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Equine, can you hear me?”

Silence. I tried again, but it was fruitless. I was locked away in Henantier’s brain, and none, not even a divine spirit, could penetrate it. Resigned to the fact that I was now completely alone, I began to ponder what exactly I was supposed to do. My mind returned to the riddling voice I heard a few moments ago. No way out but forward. Run and catch. What was she talking about?

My eyes met the tumultuous cavern growing out of the walls. I now noticed the presence of a small wooden door. Unsure if I had any other choice, I made my way over and pushed it.

The door opened with a loud creaking onto total darkness; nothing but a pitch-black void. Unfortunately, before I could so much as scoff in exasperation, a great wind sucked me inside. I was falling… and there was no ground to speak of anywhere I could see. The darkness compressed upon me, forcing my eyes shut. It was over; I was never to leave this place alive.




----




One heart-stopping second later, and I was placed gently upon a hewn stone floor. My knees buckled, completely unable to support my weight after my previous experience. It took many moments, perhaps hours, to steady myself and find my footing once again. I was shivering so badly I could swear I felt the ground quaking beneath my limp body. I then suddenly felt a warm puddle creeping around my loins….

I leapt to my feet with an indignant cry. Okay, I thought, that was it. If I get out of this place alive, Oblivion’s depths would ensnare the soul of that swindling lizard. This was her fault I was in this mess. She should not have ever allowed Henantier to do this to himself. They were living together, after all, did she even try to stop him? Why did she have to treat me like I was some pawn in her little game?

The burning hatred within my heart coursed through my skin, heating every pore in its boiling, corrupting wake. It was all I could do now to leave this place, so I could find that damned lizard and give her just comeuppance. Revitalized and imbibed with renewed vigor, I set forth to brave the horrors ahead.

Immediately before me stood a strange, hexagonal object. It looked like it had a lid, so it was probably a container of some sort. A quick tug on the top confirmed this theory, and I pulled a small scroll from within the bright ethereal blue depths of the chest. Quickly unfurling it, I found an utterly baffling sight before my eyes. None of the words were written in the Cyrodiilic or Valen tongues, they were simply composed of sharply angled glyphs. Distinctly let down by this decidedly un-fascinating discovery, I made my way forward into the compressing darkness, clutching the scroll in my hand. It may have been useless, but at least it was nice to feel something in my hand.

Soon the darkness was complete, and my eyes could not discern even my hand in front of my face. Focusing my will on creating light from the black void ahead of me, I clenched my fist hard to call upon my Magicka, and felt it coursing through me as had my rage. I held my hand high to let loose the new light….

Suddenly the amulet around my neck glowed shockingly red, and my spell fizzled away into nothing. A second attempt yielded the same result. So, the amulet I could only remove by decapitating myself was also blocking any attempt I made to cast even the simplest spells? Gritting my teeth in frustration and anger, my pace quickened as I felt the heat within my skin grow even more intense.

After many moments of plodding through the void, a bright light ahead dazzled my eyes, and I found myself running to meet it. Could this be an exit? I sure hoped it would be. But no, it was not to be; my heart sank as I found myself face to face with what I could only describe to be a gauntlet. Tall pillars rose into the abyss above my head, every inch of them laced with holes, and the tiles on the floor stuck out very prominently and oddly. Gingerly making my way forward into the ring of stone, I stepped carefully onto one of the tiles, and found it give way under my feet.

Next thing I knew, I was diving out of the ring as it was filled with a huge racket of swishing wind. As I dove, sharp, searing pain bit into my left leg. When the howling, biting gale finally stopped, I chanced a glance at the spot where I had been pierced. A large, feathered dart was sticking out of my thigh. Clenching my teeth and closing my eyes, I quickly tore it out, and watched as deep red blood welled up inside the puncture before spilling over my skin. Cursing the amulet for not allowing me to tend to the wound, I made my way inside the ring of stone pillars far more cautiously this time. What was I supposed to do? My first thought was that there was supposed to be some switch here I could step on without setting the traps off, but which one could it be?

I recalled the scroll in my hand. Wrenching it open, I scoured the surface looking for some sort of pattern. I found but one, some of the symbols in the three boxes were identical and linked to each other. The first box was four symbols wide by four symbols deep. Glancing up at the tiles before me, I counted them quickly; four wide by four deep. Tracing a path along the linked symbols, I gingerly and carefully placed my foot down upon the second tile from the left in the row directly in front of me.

Silence greeted my ears. Nothing had happened. I then moved forward and confidently set my weight onto the tile directly in front of me. Again, nothing happened. Glancing back down at the scroll once more, I noted I needed to step left one tile, and then I could simply parade onwards. After accomplishing that, I gazed back at the innocently lit pillars with a grin of triumph upon my face.

After many more moments of wandering in the dark, I found another gauntlet. Opening the scroll once again, I quickly found the pattern of repeating symbols and followed them through to the end. This one was more difficult than the last, though. The field of tiles was much larger and the path more twisted. I had to catch myself several times to avoid treading on the wrong tile and getting myself turned into Skyrim cheese. After several moments, however, I was able to put the second gauntlet behind me. The scroll evidenced one more ahead of me, so I took the time to prepare my mind for the toughest, and for what I hoped was the last, dart gauntlet.

It took a very long time, but eventually, the final gauntlet was behind me. The next sight to catch my eye was that of a circular stone plinth with a glowing purple orb hovering just above it. This must be what I came here for. I slowly made my way forward, choosing my footing carefully least there be any more of those wretched tiles waiting for me to step on them. Fortunately for me, there were none, and I soon found myself within touching distance of the orb. Nothing happened when I got close, though. I supposed you had to touch whatever this thing was supposed to be to finish this… well, I didn’t want to call it a test, though it certainly seemed like one. I gingerly reached out with my arm and closed my hand around the purple orb.

One swishing second later, I was back inside Henantier’s twisted bedroom. The orb had disappeared from my hand completely, but on the same note, I saw that Henantier now looked much more solid. He glanced slowly around the room, but when he caught sight of me, he jumped almost a foot in the air before turning to face the wall again, whimpering feebly.

Fat lot of good that did for him, I thought. Looks like I’m not done yet.

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 22 2011, 09:13 PM

down to the tuft of black hair hiding that one part no one ever wanted to see.
Well, not Teresa at least. Although I suspect that some people like seeing it. wink.gif I thought Derelas was a blond though?

I liked how you start out the nightmare by making it plain that it was indeed that, a nightmare. With those burning red eyes (Sera's?) and the little song about the lamb.

With no clothes, no magic, and only his hatred for Kud Ei for her foul treachery, Derelas must brave the horrors of Henantier's nightmare! wink.gif

and getting myself turned into Skyrim cheese
A wonderful setting-friendly phrase again. A tasty one too. I will have a wheel of that please, and a bottle of Tamika's.


nits:
The wasn’t my nightmare
I think you meant This?

Posted by: mALX Mar 22 2011, 09:15 PM

QUOTE

I could view everything from my flat, not very prominent male breasts down to the tuft of black hair hiding that one part no one ever wanted to see.


ROFL !!! Great little inset of Dere's thoughts there!


QUOTE

My left hand flew for the black pearl amulet and tried with all its might to rend it from around my neck. When it didn’t budge, I tried again… and again… and again.

“Why does the frightened lamb flee? There is no way out… no way out but forward.”

I gave pause with my increasingly futile attempts to tear away the jewel. I knew that voice… female, but twisted and terrible.

“The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch…” she continued, maliciousness oozing from every pore of her voice, sending my neck hairs on end and deep, visible shivers down my spine. “So now you know, dear… run and catch.”

Great red eyes flashed into visibility before my own, burning through my flesh with their fiery gaze. But an instant later, they were gone, leaving nothing but a furious glow where they had scorched their visage upon me. My entire body was shivering now, with a familiar ice dripping down my neck. The wasn’t my nightmare -- but it was learning fast.



Huge addition to the quest !!! I am awestruck by your idea here !!!


QUOTE

...that swindling lizard


Loved every one of Dere's nicknames for Kud-Ei in his anger at her - but this has to be my favorite !!


I am loving everything you are doing with this quest - totally making it your own !! Great Write !!




Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 22 2011, 09:16 PM

'Rosa: I refer you to the character screenshot thread on that one. I changed his appearance when the story began. He is brown-haired now, and I actually referred to that in Chapter 6-1.

Posted by: mALX Mar 22 2011, 09:26 PM

QUOTE(SubRosa @ Mar 22 2011, 04:13 PM) *

down to the tuft of black hair hiding that one part no one ever wanted to see.
...I thought Derelas was a blond though?


How to tell a real blonde from a dye ??? Er ...

Posted by: Acadian Mar 23 2011, 02:34 AM

http://amito.freehostia.com/Oblivion/OB-index.htm is the delightful invention of the inspirational Arwen of course! A chocolate chip cookie would be divine!

Oh this is gonna get complicated for Kud-Ei. Even if she gets her Henantier back intact, she's gonna have one mighty pissed off wood elf to deal with! Something tells me that even a University recommendation is not going to cut it for Dere! Surely she could have told him a little more than she did.

No clothes. No weapons. No spells. No worries, I'm sure there won't be any more danger ahead. ohmy.gif

You are creating some nice haunting atmosphere here.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 23 2011, 04:02 AM

For some reason I'm thinking of Alice and the rabbit hole. In certain hands, that delightful child's tale can become quite nightmarish. I recall a computer game called American McGee's Alice that was unbelievably twisted. Your treatment of a familiar quest reminds me of this.

Well done, I'd say!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 25 2011, 08:33 PM

@Wise Sage Rosa: I love nightmares. They give me such pleasure to write, as they allow me to exercise a lot of creativity and conflict. You do need to be careful with them to avoid cliche, but I work hard to ensure that nightmares only get inserted where they might be proper and understandable.
Nit be picked.

@mALX: And that's just the tip of the iceberg there. cool.gif

@Acadian: *hands over two chocolate chip cookies* Make sure Buffy gets one of those!
More danger? Never! This is a nightmare, what bad could possibly happen? (Famous last words)

@ haute ecole kitty: A most excellent comparison! I'm glad you are enjoying what I have done to the quest.

@all: Thank you all for your continued support. Sometimes, I feel I can get a bit sadistic in my writing. Take for example, my combat scenes, which tend to be rather brutal. I don't know what to say, maybe I'm more masochistic than I thought? huh.gif

next: The nightmares continue....



Chapter 6-4: A Long Perceived Danger



For the third time in this venture, I now found myself back in Henantier’s morphed bedroom. He was almost completely solid now, though still in no state to talk. As for me, my nude figure was now caked in blood, after having been sopping wet and horribly shivering not too long ago. My second task was to dive into the black depths of a water-filled cavern, with nothing but a weak water-breathing potion and my hands to guide me. I was horridly close to drowning when I finally found the door, but thankfully for me, it opened to cool, crisp air in an oddly blazing hot room. Within laid the second orb, and the second task was done.

From where I had just returned was a battle like no other: me against two massive man-bulls wielding huge hammers and sharp horns. Twice I found myself nearly gored, and by the time they were both dead, the chainmail armor the Dreamworld had supplied me was falling apart at the seams. Also, my roughly forged blade had been bent in three places. My body ached where I had been slammed into the stone walls of the arena I had fought in. A large bruise was also welling up on my stomach where one of their hammers had met me, sending me crashing into said wall. By the time the final foe fell, my strength had nearly evaporated, and three deep cuts where their horns had caught me were gushing blood upon the stained dirt floor. I was most thankful that they had disappeared once I touched the third orb.

The final door caught my eye. This one was built not into a roughly hewn boulder, or a blood-stained archway, but into an ornately carved marble wall. Two handles were carved into the center, forming a complete circle when the doors stood shut. I had seen this design before… in my dreams – the terrors of my dreams. I wanted to shrink away from them; to flee and cower in a corner like the pitiful Altmer I was here to rescue. I never wanted to discover what was behind them, and nothing could ever prepare me for entering the cavernous depths beyond.

I could not stop myself; I was drawn toward the doors like a bee to a flower. My mind screamed in protest with every step I took forward; every step closer to a place I never again wished to see. But it was too late, I was already there. The doors required no touch, not even the whisper of my breath to respond. They slid open with a silence so loud I was sure it would deafen me with its sheer nothingness, revealing the blackness within. There was no screaming this time as I was sucked to my next destination; I knew what awaited me.

My feet met the stone floor of the darkened halls, lit only by the dim twinkling of sky-blue crystals. My heart and gut were gripped tight in fear, but I knew that to go back now would be impossible. It was time to face my dreams; time to conquer the deepest bowels of the Oblivion born inside my head. For that is where it felt like I had traveled. This was no Dreamworld, I was trapped in the sphere of Vaermina. I so wish that Henantier realizes what a fool he is, few ever venture forth into the realm of nightmares and return to freely tell of it; Vaermina is quite protective of her secrets.

Every step I took echoed loudly throughout the halls. I was shivering once again, but this time not from cold or weakness. Fear filled my heart like nothing I had ever known before. I knew the road down which I walked, and it never led me anywhere good.

My foot then met a raised tile, lowering it into the ground with an ominous rumbling. The next thing I heard was a loud crackling sound of which stones would make when hit together, and I was deluged in a rain of dust. Without a single thought, I leapt backward as the ceiling crashed to the ground all around me. A large stone hit my hand, and I felt a searing pain alongside a gruesome cracking noise I knew was not made by the rock. I laid sprawled upon the ground, arms protecting my head until many moments after the collapse had ceased. My hand was already swelling and throbbing horribly, and a great purple bruise began to well up on the outside of my palm. I was wondering if the injuries I sustained here would be carried back to the real world as I rose up to continue on.

I now stood facing a grand doorway inscribed with serenely twisting vines, which glowed bright despite the compressing darkness all around me. My goal lay beyond. Placing my unhurt palm to the door, it opened to the lightest brush of my fingertips, as if it were waiting for me. The room beyond was a terrifyingly familiar sight. It was bathed in blood red light, and the crystals here were black and corrupted. The raised stone platform bearing the dark throne was all too familiar to me, as was the lone figure sitting in the grand chair. Slowly, I made my way forward, blood pounding in my ears with every step I took closer. Two lesser figures cloaked in black stood at the base of the stairs wielding halberds. The moment my feet touched the first step, they swung their halberds down, barring my path with the resounding clang of metal-on-metal.

At this sound, the figure in the throne took his feet. His eyes grew red with malice, and I was certain I now stared into the blank, featureless face of death.

“Welcome, Child of Dawn,” came his commanding, deep voice that made my neck hairs stand on end. “Welcome to the halls of destiny.”

He began to descend the stairs.

“Do you wonder to see me here? I am certain you do. The answer is simple. You have been chosen.”

He began to slowly draw his blade, beautiful and terrible alike. I saw the familiar glinting blackness stained upon the blade. There was no escape this time; I stood rooted to the ground, waiting for the inevitable to strike.

“I am your inveterate foe, and I hold all that is dear to you in my grasp. We shall meet soon, you and I; far sooner than you may think.”

His unblinking red eyes blazed.

“Struggle not with yourself. We, of all people know… there is no escaping the Light of Dawn.”

His blade flashed deeply red as he raised it, tip pointed straight to my heart. In one swift motion, he thrust forward.

The expected pain never came, all I felt was ice. The frigidness of the corrupted metal spread throughout my body, numbing my fingers and deadening my limbs. The shadow-cloaked figure did not bother to retrieve his weapon, he simply turned away and proceeded back up the stairs. A dark pool was building beneath my unprotected feet, and my body had become the effigy of a crimson fountain. The strength of my legs left me, and soon my knees collided noiselessly with the stone beneath me. The scene dissolved into blackness as a singsong voice rang through my pointed ears….

With artifacts four restored once more,
The hero shall rise to evil’s demise.


“Wake up,” a calm, endearing voice spoke through the blackness. But how could I wake up? I was just stabbed through the heart and glimpsed in horror at my blood spilling over the cold stone floor. How could I wake up when I was dead?

“Wake up, Dere!” The voice spoke again, this time more urgently than before. I then became aware of the fact I was holding my eyes tightly closed. I could also feel a warm hand gently shaking me. If this was death, why did it feel so good?

My eyes flew open. I was no longer lying on unyielding stone, but on soft warm grass greener than I had ever seen before. Color blossomed all around from the large number of sprightly flowers decorating the scene. I felt a cool breeze upon my unclothed back, and heard nearby trees dancing with joy. The small grove was surrounded with great oaks and poplars, their broad leaves gently shading the world from the harshness of summer Magnus, who blazed down upon me with all the intensity of a volcano. The hem of cream-white robes then swished past my eyes, and I looked up to see who it was.

Auburn trusses of curled hair fell in waves beside her eyes, which shared the same deep brown as my own. Her lips were full and lightly pouting, and her high cheekbones imparted the shape of a heart across her face. Her figure was slender, though it did not carry the curves many men had eyes for. She turned to look at me; the serenity in her gaze might have melted even the most iron-hearted man on Nirn.

“Mother,” I whispered. My voice was gone, and my eyes were burning.

“Time runs short, my son,” she spoke. Her brisk tone did not match her calm visage. “The enemy moves, and Oblivion opens. They use the confusion to enact their plans in secret. What their ultimate goal is cannot be known, but remember this: they will be stopped.”

“I don’t understand,” I began, utterly perplexed by her uncharacteristic words. “What do you mean? Who will be stopped?”

“The final foe of all mortal races,” she replied, her skin practically glittering in the sunlight; she was so pale. “You know of whom I speak. The Vampire Lord.”

Great black clouds boiled forth with such speed I was momentarily blinded by the loss of light. The wind was building to a howl.

“He is feared by all, and only few dare to stand against him.”

“The Children of Dawn?” I asked, practically shouting now as the wind reached the force of a hurricane. Mother nodded in assent.

“He must not be allowed to succeed, and it is within you alone that power dwells,” she continued, her voice racing as if she had only seconds left to speak.

“Why me?” I asked incredulously, my eyes wide and my heart beating a gong upon my ribs. “How am I special in all this?”

“Because it is you he wants,” Mother replied as fiery streaks of red appeared in the sky. “You are tied to his fate, and his will cannot be escaped.”

She then stood calmly, refusing to answer any more of my questions as thunder broke the sky overhead. Not one second later, a slender black blade stabbed through her chest.

“NO!” I cried out, holding my hand toward my mother’s dying figure. Every tree around me erupted into flame as I watched her slowly dissolve into ash. The shadowed figure with gleaming red eyes now stood in her place. I fell to my knees, my body having gone numb with shock, loss and fear. Then the same singsong voice I heard before rang through my ears once again.

So shall be heard, say Light of Dawn,
From ashes of death shall life be drawn.


The scene dissolved again.

I was on the ground again, shaking as though the ground quaked beneath me and my eyes burning with the same anguish that tore into my soul. I neither knew nor cared how long I lay upon the cold, dark stone. All I knew at this point was this: I was through with this journey. I wanted nothing more than to leave and run; run as far away as I could and never look back. The images I had just been forced to live through I would now take to my grave; they would haunt me forevermore.

I slowly rose from the ground… a familiar plinth stood before me, and suspended above it was a small, glowing orb. This was it, I thought, taking my unsteady feet. This is the last piece of Henantier’s fractured mind. How I knew this I could not tell, I simply knew that touching this orb would end it all.

I reached out with shivering fingers and grasped the orb in a weak grip.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 25 2011, 09:43 PM

That last one was the Test of Perception, wasn't it?

Quite the twist on it, if you ask me. Well done!

And seeing Mother again, and under such circumstances, has got to be absolutely shattering for Dere. No wonder he wanted this journey over! Period!

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 25 2011, 10:29 PM

Still no pics of Derelas? Here I thought this would be the perfect place to start busting out some of his Adnois-like form, glistening wetly from water and strain... wink.gif

Poor Derelas, he is certainly getting worked over in dreamy-dream land. sad.gif He better never visit Elm Street...

As Haute said, quite a twist you put on the end of this quest! Excellent writing on your part, throwing out the test we see in the game, and instead giving us something not only entirely original, but specifically directed at Derelas. You have changed this quest from just another fetch and carry MG recommendation to an important stepping stone in the Derelas Main Quest (or DMQ).


nits:
As for me, blood caked my nude figure that had not too long ago been sopping wet and horribly shivering.
This looks like a fragment. Did you mean something like:
My nude figure was now blood caked, after having been sopping wet and horribly shivering not long ago.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 25 2011, 10:34 PM

http://chorrol.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=4208&st=81


Posted by: SubRosa Mar 25 2011, 10:40 PM

QUOTE(Thomas Kaira @ Mar 25 2011, 05:34 PM) *

http://chorrol.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=4208&st=81


Oh, but he's wearing clothing there!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 25 2011, 10:44 PM

Oh, I see! You mean a picture in a more Freudian sense!

Naughty, naughty! nono.gif

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 26 2011, 12:12 AM

*perks up ears*

What? What? Who? Me? Me naughty? What'd I miss this time?

Posted by: mALX Mar 26 2011, 03:06 AM

The dream sequence and last couple paragraphs - both powerful imagery !! You have taken this quest and made it totally your own, Great Write !!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 26 2011, 05:45 AM

Alright, fine. If you want him to strike a manly pose, http://img858.imageshack.us/i/derenudeshotjoke.jpg/

tongue.gif

Posted by: mALX Mar 26 2011, 04:17 PM

QUOTE(Thomas Kaira @ Mar 26 2011, 12:45 AM) *

Alright, fine. If you want him to strike a manly pose, http://img858.imageshack.us/i/derenudeshotjoke.jpg/

tongue.gif



ROFL !!!

Posted by: Acadian Mar 27 2011, 12:13 AM

It was both interesting and creative to weave Henantier's dreamworld with Dere's! The result was a nice mysterious blend. smile.gif

'My feet met the stone floor of the darkened halls, lit only by the dim twinkling of sky-blue crystals.'
I really liked this description. Very effective!

'and her high cheekbones imparted the shape of a heart across her face.'
And another great description. This one was both lovely and creative.

Nit:
'We shall meet soon, you an I; far sooner than you may think.”
You want 'and' instead of 'an' here of course.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 29 2011, 04:02 PM

@naughty haute: Correct you are. Exactly why the two nightmare realms intermingled will be explained shortly (or rather a suspicion will be confirmed).

@SubRosa: Now that we have fed your Freudian desires, let us return to the story. He certainly did get a good work-over, and is definitely going have a hard time living with the images he received from the Dreamworld. Indeed this was an important stepping stone for him, and repercussions of these events will be felt later.
Nit be picked.

@mALX: You know about me and imagery. That is one of my favorite ways to add meaning and depth to a scene, so I use it quite a bit.

@Acadian: I always wanted to do this, and I'm glad it worked out. Considering how important dreams are to this tale, it made sense that our hero would have to face his own at some point. What better time, I thought, than when an Altmer who bit off more than he could chew needs a helping hand?
Nit be picked.

@all: Your readership and support of this project continue to be appreciated.

next: The nightmares end, but there are, as always, repercussions....



Chapter 6-5: When the Nightmare Ends



Upon my return to Henantier’s twisted madhouse of a bedroom, my first glance was toward the mer responsible for its existence. No longer did he look wispy or fragile, he was whole again, and his Altmer poise restored in full. As he stood from his cowering posture in the remote corner of the room, our eyes met.

“Oh! Uhh… erm… greetings.” Henantier sputtered, looking quickly back toward the wall he had been cuddled against in fear for the duration of my visit. I suddenly became aware once again of the fact that I was wearing nothing but a silver necklace, and I felt myself growing hot once again.

“I… uhh… see you’ve managed to restore my fractured mind,” Henantier continued, addressing the wall to avoid glancing at me. “So, well… thank you.”

Unfortunately, no thanks could ever undo what happened in here. My feeling of triumph was now shattered by rage; rage against everyone responsible for this. I would have to control myself, though. At least, for a little while longer; long enough for Henantier to remove me from this dreadful place.

“Listen,” I began, barely bothering to hide the vicious contempt in my voice, “I didn’t do this for you and after what happened here, I wish I never got involved. Just get me out of here.”

“Well, you certainly have an attitude,” Henantier responded, an affronted tone in his voice. “Surely, it wasn’t too much…”

“Don’t test me!” I nearly shouted. “This is your nightmare so you’re the only one who can end it. Just wake up, I’m finished with being trapped in your demented brain.”

I didn’t care if I offended the mer; it wouldn’t even matter soon enough. Once I was out of here, it would be the last I saw of this fetcher.

“Very well,” Henantier responded in a shaky voice. “If that is all you wish, my most unpleasant friend. Grasp my hand.”

I took hold of the golden hand he extended me, and watched as the world around me dissolved into blackness for the final time.




----




My eyes blinked in the inviting evening light. They were so used to darkness and blood-red walls it took awhile for me to remember where I was, then I heard a barely repressed yawn beside me. Turning my head slightly, I watched as Henantier rose and stretched, the tips of his fingers nearly brushing the timber ceiling. One shriek later, and he was buried in the arms of a female Argonian in a green silk dress.

“Thank Mara, you’re back!” Kud-Ei nearly cried, her eyes closed in a vain attempt to fight off tears of joy.

“S’alright,” came Henantier’s muffled voice. It was quite an achievement that Kud-Ei had managed to bury the face of a mer a full head higher than her in such a manner. “I’m okay.”

“I am so glad to hear that,” Kud-Ei responded, releasing Henantier and looking into his incredulous face. Neither of them even seemed to notice I was up — and much for the better that way, I thought. Given what I had just put myself through, I did not feel I could be held responsible for what I might do to Kud-Ei if she got in my way. I never felt more inflamed to hurt someone in all my life. What I needed right now was some time alone; time to clear my head and figure out where I would go from here. Perhaps I’ll talk to Kud-Ei about this again tomorrow, I mused as I pulled open the creaky door to Henantier’s home and stepped out into the ruby evening light.

“DERELAS!”

A resounding shout like a whip-crack broke the sky around me, and sent me leaping a good foot into the air. The next thing I saw was an utterly livid Tadrose Helas practically sinking herself into the muddy street as she stamped her way towards me.

“Where on NIRN have you been?!” She commandingly requested of me, jabbing her pointing finger into my chest. “I’ve been looking all over town for you for a good week now! Care to explain where you disappeared off to?”

My voice sputtered and died. A week?

“Erm… well… it’s… it’s a bit of a long story…” I replied weakly.

“I do hope you didn’t leave town,” Tadrose demanded of me.

“No,” I responded quickly. “Kud-Ei at the Mages Guild can testify to where I’ve been if you ask.” I then added quickly. My hopes were that if Tadrose were to pursue that lead, she would be able to see through the blatant lies that would be uttered in response. However, seeing how Kud-Ei nearly stole my life from me without a second thought, that was a bit of a long shot. Nevertheless, it would be fun to watch her squirm if that time came around.

“Don’t think for one second I won’t hold you to that statement,” Tadrose growled, removing the finger she attempted to gouge my lungs out with. “Now, if you don’t mind, we must return to the Fighters Guild. Follow me.”




----




The familiar ash-skinned face and raven hair of Faith was waiting within Tadrose’s private room on the third floor. She practically leapt to her feet as we entered, her face a mess of aggravation and what I could only describe as edginess.

“You took your bloody time!” she exclaimed towards me. “What in Oblivion have you been up to?”

Long story, apparently,” Tadrose mentioned irritably, making no attempt to mask that she didn’t believe a word I said. “I’m thinking it was rather lucky that I found him at all.”

Silently, I had to agree, but now that we were someplace private, I felt now was the time to divulge.

“Well, then I assume you’ve got the time to hear the story, then?” I asked. Tadrose looked a little flummoxed as she turned back to me; apparently she was not expecting me to be quite so quick to admit to my misgivings.

“Well, if you are ready to come clean to us, do please go on,” she replied briskly.

The story was over in roughly half an hour, gauging by the softly ticking carriage clock mounted on Tadrose’s dresser. I carefully skirted the more personal parts, though, making it sound as though the final ‘test’ was merely a trap-filled gauntlet. I wasn’t sure they believed me, but frankly, I didn’t care. Some of the scenes I brought back with me from the Dreamworld were not meant to be shared. When I had finished, Tadrose looked quite bemused, but Faith had turned roughly the color of limestone.

“Gods’ Blood…” Tadrose was first to break the silence. “So, you visited someone’s nightmares? How is that possible?”

I then noticed that I was still wearing the amulet Kud-Ei had given me. This time, when I tugged on the chain, it finally came loose, freeing me of the last vestiges of Henantier’s self-crafted prison. I then handed it over so that Tadrose might examine it.

“So, it’s been inlaid with…” Faith then began, but hesitated shortly after.

“…Black pearl.” I finished for her. This time, it was Tadrose’s turn to blanch.

“That idiotic Altmer…” she voiced. “He must have been desperate; black pearls are the gateway to Vaermina’s Oblivion. How could he possibly have missed that?”

“Wait, so you’re telling me I was in Oblivion this whole time?” I asked incredulously.

“It does explain a lot,” Faith then quipped. “Time doesn’t follow the same rules between the worlds. What is one week here might only be a couple hours there.”

“Nevertheless,” Tadrose then snapped, her characteristic briskness returning to her voice, “you were most foolish to risk your life in such a way, Derelas. To even attempt to steal the secrets of the Prince of the Dreamworld is folly and even this Henantier character should know that.”

“Trust me, that woman Kud-Ei is a master manipulator,” I replied, growing mildly irritated now that Tadrose continued insisting I was solely to blame. “Anyways, I sincerely doubt you wanted to bring me here just to put my nose to the grindstone about my juvenile Bosmeri ways.”

The two Dunmer locked gazes for a brief moment before Tadrose turned back to me.

“Actually yes,” she responded. “We don’t think it is safe for you here any longer.”

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 29 2011, 04:49 PM

It's wonderful that you have time moving differently in Oblivion than it does out on Nirn. I've always been surprised by how much time has already passed with each Gate I've closed. While in game Gate time = Nirn time, it certainly doesn't feel that way!

And including Vaermina in Henantier's dreamworld is genius! It shows what an idiot Henantier was to undertake this experiment of his without adequate preparation and study.

And I wonder how much of his feelings on leaving the dreamworld was his alone, and how much of it was triggered by the manipulations of Vaermina.

Posted by: Grits Mar 29 2011, 05:04 PM

From 6-3: My knees buckled, completely unable to support my weight after my previous experience. It took many moments, perhaps hours, to steady myself and find my footing once again.

The turmoil and disorientation you weave throughout the Dreamworld is so effective. It makes perfect sense at the end that a week has passed in Bravil, and that continues the sense of disconnection.

The scene in 6-4 with Dere’s mother is especially moving. The dream elements evoke the nightmare without clouding the message. Outstanding!

It was a relief to find Derelas extremely ticked off in 6-5 again, and not fractured by his own nightmare like Henantier was.

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 29 2011, 09:32 PM

There is nothing at all Freudian about me wanting naked pics of Derelas. Both Buffy and Teresa have already done so in their fics. The Bosmer girls are due a little reciprocity from the boys. Something you still have not come across with btw. You wrote that Derelas was naked, not wearing a loincloth. So this was the perfect opportunity for a full moon.

If that is all you wish, my most unpleasant friend.
Unpleasant indeed. I'd sooner be trapped in the dream forever than put up with an boat like Derelas. Obviously our Bosmer Bowman has a lot to learn about grace under pressure, not to mention what it means to walk the path of hero (no matter how unwillingly).

I thought they made pirate ships from Black Pearl? Not Dreamworld Amulets. Well, maybe they are not so different... Seriously though, the idea to make the Dreamworld not Henantier's, but rather Vaermina's Oblivion Realm was a brilliant idea. Not only is it inventive, but is also makes Derelas' personally-oriented visions make much more sense.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 29 2011, 10:56 PM

Okay, okay... I'll see to getting a properly nude photo. I've just finished packaging a replacer for my installer, so it won't be too long now. That image was intended as a joke, anyways.

EDIT: Here we go.

The Test of Perception (which we did not do in the story)
http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/5320/testofperception.jpg

The Test of Patience
http://img717.imageshack.us/img717/9113/testofpatience.jpg

There we are, a properly nude young man who is not very good under pressure (which is actually rather unlike myself).

tongue.gif

Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 30 2011, 12:19 AM

Oooh, nice tushies! wink.gif

Posted by: Acadian Mar 30 2011, 01:20 AM

And Buffy awards Dere a certified cute butt rating! tongue.gif

'but Faith had turned roughly the color of limestone.'
This is so perfect for an uncomfortable Dunmeri lass!

'black pearls are the gateway to Vaermina’s Oblivion.'
I agree with SubRosa that it was brilliant to tie this quest to Vaermina's. It certainly conjures images of the forever sleeping Arkved and the similar fate that Henantier could have suffered.


Nit - 'Some of the scenes I brought back with my from the Dreamworld were not meant to be shared.'
I expect you wanted the word 'me' vs 'my'.

Posted by: SubRosa Mar 30 2011, 01:53 AM

Now that is more like it! bigsmile.gif

Now it is Aradroth and Talendor's turns. Then we will have the Bosmer in the Buff album complete!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Apr 1 2011, 08:06 PM

@haute ecole rider: I'm glad it worked for you making the Dreamworld actually become Oblivion. It felt quite fitting for me to do something like that, and I'm glad it answered any questions you might have had about Dere's nightmares seeping in alongside Henantier's.

@Grits: Welcome back, and thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed our romp through the Dreamworld Oblivion.

@SubRosa: Moraility is not black and white in this world. Cyrodiil has become a much darker place than you might realize now, and I hope to make this very clear in the next chapter. Heroes and villains do not exist in this world, nor is morality presented in black and white.

@Acadian: Thank you much for your insight, it is always welcome. Also, you make Dere blush, Buffy. tongue.gif

@all: I shall say it again, this tale does not put much by Oblivion's original black-and-white morality. Heroes suffer, and legends are drenched in blood in this brave new world. You knew it when I made Bravil into a huge dung-heap, and that is going to become all the more clear very soon.

next: Plans are made, and the Black Horse Courier is back with a vengeance.



Chapter 7-1: The Breaking of the Siege



I woke early the next morning. It was decreed by Tadrose, at Faith’s council, that we find a way to move me to a town less well connected to the Dark Brotherhood. For that, they asked me to bed down early, despite the fact that I had just spent the last week in a similar position. Savoring the waking world once again would have to wait.

“They lost the trail when we fought off those assassins in Vergayun,” Faith told me, retaking her seat. “But it probably wasn’t the best idea to flee here. The Brotherhood owns this city and many say Count Terentius has had many dealings with them in the past.”

“And it is not unreasonable to suspect he may have a hand in this contract, as well,” Tadrose added, handing me back the black pearl amulet. “You’ve stayed here long enough.”

“Trouble is, they’ll be waiting for you to leave,” Faith continued. “You know very well how vulnerable you will be traveling the roads.”

“Even with a guard?” I asked.

“I can’t guarantee your safety any more on my own; not with the Brotherhood in play,” Faith responded. “We have to find a way to get you away from here without needing to travel across country, because you do not want to be found kipping in the wilderness by a scouting party of vampires.”

“And that’s where the problem arises,” Tadrose quipped, looking very concerned. “I proposed this should happen, but the truth is there seems no way possible to do it. We can’t use travel services, either; they’re too easy to track.”

“Then why propose it in the first place if you knew it impossible?” I inquired.

“Can you see any other choice?” Tadrose snapped. “You made a grave mistake bringing him here, sera Dresdan. We’re pretty much cornered here, easy prey for his assailants. If only Vitellus and his men were back, I might have been able to organize an escort, but obviously that’s off the table.”

“That leaves teleportation as the only option,” Faith finished, ignoring Tadrose’s chastising remark. “Problem is, the Mages Guild hasn’t finished their network yet, so they won’t let us use it.”

I then had an idea flash across my mind.

“Is it functional, at least?” I asked.

“Some sections,” Faith replied. “I think they sent a few people down here from the University about two weeks ago to check on the progress of the Bravil branch’s Guide, as well. They might have made some progress. Why, do you want to ask them? I doubt they would give much regard to an unknown associate’s request.

“Not entirely unknown,” I responded. “That debacle with Henantier I told you about? I might be able to call in a favor on that.”

Faith gave pause, and spared a glance at Tadrose. There was a certain gleam in her eyes that I had come to associate with a rapid release of tension.

“You know what, that might be worth a shot,” Tadrose responded slowly. “We’ll try first thing tomorrow morning. Best get some rest now, Derelas, we need to be up bright and early tomorrow. You should probably stay here in the Guild, as well. There’s some free space on the second floor.”


I made my way downstairs as the poppy-yellow sun filtered in through the grimy windows into the well-kept foyer. The small contingent of fighters left behind were gathered around the dining table, enjoying a light breakfast of crunchy-crusted bread with olive oil and reading the latest news. Tadrose seemed completely engrossed in the paper, as well. I found a spare laying on a chair nearby, picked it up, and began to read….

IPB Image


TRAGEDY IN KVATCH CONTINUES
Count Ormellius Goldwine Found Dead

It is with great sorrow that we report to you today the death of Ormellius Goldwine, Count Kvatch.

The Count was found dead in his private quarters in the night during the battle for the reclamation of the city; slain by the Daedra who assaulted Kvatch a fortnight ago.

“Indeed, this is a bitter blow to the morale of the citizenry,” High Chancellor Ocato replied to the questioning of interviewer Hassiri. “Under his rule of Thirty years, he had brought Kvatch to a grand prosperity, and it is quite disheartening to see all his efforts crumble to the ground at the hands of the Daedra.”

It is most shameful that this report must come alongside what should have been a victory for Cyrodiil. Though Count Kvatch is dead, the city is now back in the hands of the Guard. They led a brave counter-attack alongside the Fighters Guild and the Hero of Kvatch into the wreckage of the city in an attempt to rescue the Count. This attempt, as you are now well aware, was unfortunately in vain.

Kvatch Guard Captain Savlian Matius has claimed full responsibility for the failure to preserve the life of the Count, and is currently being escorted back to the Imperial City for questioning.

“In his brave attempt to evacuate the city,” Ocato continued to speak on the subject, “It would appear that he left his duties to his Count behind. Make no mistake, his daring and courage are to be applauded, but to let such a gross misjudgment slip us past would be most unwise, especially in the current climate. One of our most prominent cities is now without a leader, and the land deserves to know why.”

It is uncertain what fate resides for Captain Matius, but at the very least Kvatch is safe once again. Rumors are now abound that the Hero of Kvatch has left the city, with one Brother Martin, Priest of Akatosh as a traveling accomplice. What he may be attempting to accomplish is anyone’s guess, but let us hope it is for the good of the Empire. Kvatch truly needs the aid of the Nine in this dark hour, so please continue your prayers that they may continue to receive it.


Looking up from when I had finished, I saw that Tadrose looked absolutely disgusted. She proceeded to ball up the paper and sling it into the fire.

“Trash,” she commented to no one in particular. “Complete tripe. How could Ocato do such a thing, ignoring all the good Savlian did for his city? Completely uncalled for.”

“Sounds like Ocato wants to turn Captain Matius into a political scapegoat,” I replied, letting Tadrose know I was there.

“The only reason there can be,” Tadrose responded, turning to look at me. “He’s just looking to save his own imp chips right now. He knows he botched the siege, the Legion never responded to Kvatch’s many calls for aid.”

“You heard?” Faith then asked, making her presence known as well. There was fire in her eyes to match the blaze in Tadrose’s and she, too was holding a balled up newspaper.

“Unfortunately,” Tadrose replied, handing me a couple slices of bread and a small plate of oil.

“Well, we can’t dwell on that right now,” Faith quipped, turning her gaze to me. “We still need to get you out of here posthaste. I hope you have a plan of some sort?”

“I enter the guild, and speak with Kud-Ei about using the Guide to send me to Anvil,” I recited. “If she doesn’t go for it, I remind her that she owes me a favor for rescuing Henantier from Oblivion.”

“And if she still turns a white scale?” Tadrose asked. “Kud-Ei is a known manipulator, you said it yourself.”

“Who’s the Court Mage for Castle Bravil?” I returned quickly.

“Fathis Aren,” Faith replied instantly, “why?”

“Because if worst comes to worst, we can always try blackmail,” I answered. “Kud-Ei wanted this off the record, so I’m sure she would be much more agreeable if I threatened to put this on the record. Given what I went through in Vaermina’s Oblivion, it would hardly be unwarranted.”

“And if you must know, you couldn’t possibly choose a better person,” Tadrose began with a rather heavy face. “He’s remarkably well connected, Aren, all the way up to Arch-Mage Hannibal Traven. There’s just one glaring problem with that idea, though….”

“Which is?”

“He’s been spending increasingly huge amounts of time down at the Arena in Cyrodiil City,” Tadrose answered me. “Why he would do such a thing is anyone’s guess, he is not the kind of person who would strike me as a gambler. Nevertheless, it’s been almost a week since he was last here. How do you plan on presumably telling him?”

“We’d have to hope the threat of her secret being made public is enough,” I started. “But she does know I’m traveling, and I’ll need to see the University grounds eventually. I could easily tell him then.”

“But you can’t travel the roads, remember?” Faith quickly rebutted. “We went over this last night, they’re just too dangerous right now.”

“And I have no intention of ever revealing that to her,” I finished. Faith’s eyes once again met Tadrose’s as they sized up what I had told them.

“Well, it’s the best we have,” Tadrose spoke after about a minute. “I don’t think there’s any other way. Best you be off now, Derelas, and good luck to you.”

“Thank you,” I bade, handing the emptied plate back to Tadrose.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Apr 1 2011, 09:08 PM

Good luck to you, Derelas, and may you not end up in the back end of a cow (or worse)! biggrin.gif

Brilliant storytelling on your part, having Matius get into trouble for not staying beside Count Kvatch's side. Though I can't recall where in the game it says he was the Count's bodyguard. UESP wiki says he is actually the Captain of the Kvatch Guard - as such I'm not sure his duties would lie with the Count rather than with the townspeople themselves. That said, I still like your twist on the sad tale that is Kvatch, and the tragedy of the lack of recognition of Savlian Matius as the real Hero of Kvatch.


Posted by: SubRosa Apr 1 2011, 11:13 PM

I think you misinterpreted what I meant by hero. I did not mean someone who rescues every cat caught in a tree (yes, I am looking at you Julian). A hero is someone who takes responsibility for their destiny, then stands and delivers. The reason I said Derelas has a long way to go before he learns what it means to be a hero is that he is blaming someone else for his problems. He blames Kud-Ei's for Henantier's rescue not being a cakewalk. If it would have been, she would not have needed to hire a thug with the promise of a recommendation to do it. She'd have done it herself. He also blames her for his personal Daedra spilling over into Henantier's Dreamworld and making life uncomfortable for him. As if she somehow orchestrated it all to make him suffer.

Not that I am criticizing Derelas. He is reacting like an ordinary person. The reason that heroes are looked up to, is that they are a cut above ordinary. They stop making excuses and pointing fingers, and just get the job done instead. Derelas is going to have to learn how to do that if he is going to face a vampire king and survive. Being ordinary is just not good enough for him anymore. He has to become a hero. I am looking forward to see him grow into those big shoes he has to fill. goodjob.gif

Now to today's episode.

move me to a town less well connected to the Dark Brotherhood.
I hope it is not Cheydinhal! laugh.gif

One of our most prominent cities is now without a leader,
Not to mention without a population... wink.gif

As with the previous BHC's, it is both neat and refreshing to see the main quest unfold without the intervention of the protagonist.

He’s just looking to save his own imp chips right now.
Cyrodiil's favorite snack! I would save them too! laugh.gif

So its off to the Guild Guide we go? The only thing Derelas seems to be overlooking is that if Kud-Ei is really the dark skullduggerer he seems to think that she is, she would see to it that he has an 'accident' during teleportation. Too bad about his head turning up in Anvil while torso ended up in Bruma, his arms in Cheydinhal, and legs in Leyawiin... wink.gif



nits:
I might have been able to organize a escort,
I think an might work better here.

Posted by: Acadian Apr 2 2011, 02:29 AM

Much to like here!

Excellent use of the Courier to keep us apprised of the Oblivion Crisis in progress.

The trio of elves logically inventory their options and come up with a plan. To introduce the guild guide rapid transit system is great, and for Dere to hit upon the concept of blackmail to enhance his chance of using it is brilliant. The nightmare quest was just the ticket to set the stage for this.

I look forward to seeing how Dere does at the guild.

If only that darn Vitellus fellow and his men were back in Bravil, but I expect they have bigger Daedra to fry. And I suspect Fathis may be up to his own imp chips in the Imperial City.

Posted by: mALX Apr 2 2011, 08:36 AM

QUOTE(Thomas Kaira @ Mar 29 2011, 05:56 PM) *

Okay, okay... I'll see to getting a properly nude photo. I've just finished packaging a replacer for my installer, so it won't be too long now. That image was intended as a joke, anyways.

EDIT: Here we go.

The Test of Perception (which we did not do in the story)
http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/5320/testofperception.jpg

The Test of Patience
http://img717.imageshack.us/img717/9113/testofpatience.jpg

There we are, a properly nude young man who is not very good under pressure (which is actually rather unlike myself).

tongue.gif



WOO HOO !!!

Posted by: mALX Apr 2 2011, 09:27 AM

I loved Dere’s temper tantrum at the end of Henantier’s dream world - Awesome to have a real emotion after an ordeal like that !! (and he is hilarious when he is angry!!) I hope you keep his personality intact instead of “hero-izing” him, perfection becomes ad nauseam very quickly. Dere’s unpredictable-ness will def keep him interesting!!! (as will his buns) Great Chapter !!!

P.S. I don't agree that heroes have to be (or are looked up to because they are) "a cut above the ordinary citizens." Anyone can be a hero, most heroes are ordinary people who just act at a time it is needed. (personal growth and maturity are not required, and they are looked up to simply because they risked themselves to save another)

Last chapter:

I absolutely love your use of the BHC to run the main quest line in the background of your story !!! This is the second time you have caught me by surprise with an insert that rocked your storyline !!! Awesome Chapter !!!

Posted by: SubRosa Apr 2 2011, 05:28 PM

QUOTE(mALX @ Apr 2 2011, 04:27 AM) *


P.S. I don't agree that heroes have to be (or are looked up to because they are) "a cut above the ordinary citizens." Anyone can be a hero, most heroes are ordinary people who just act at a time it is needed. (personal growth and maturity are not required, and they are looked up to simply because they risked themselves to save another)


That is basically what I was saying. Ordinary people don't act at a time when it is needed. They whine and complain and play the blame game instead. Everything bad that happens to them is always someone else's fault. Heroes are the people who skip all that, and just do what needs doing. They are not people who are ten feet tall, with six pack abs, shoulders the size of football fields, and capes fluttering in the breeze. They are just people: fat, bald, toothless, stuttering, etc... But people who take command of their destiny.

For example, Derelas throws down with the best of them for most of the dream. Until he gets to the part with the Vampire Lord. There he passively stands by while he has a dagger stuck into his heart. Then afterward, he is angry at Kud-Ei and Henantier for putting him through all that. Yet it is really himself whom he is angry with. For he is the one who surrendered his power and allowed himself to be a victim. If he does that for real, he will be dead for real.

People can do bad things to you, but no one else can make you a victim. Only you can. A warrior fights on, because they know that their power is their own, and no one can take it from them. A victim doesn't, instead they surrender their power and feel sorry for themselves. This is something I learned the hard way (as I suspect most people have to). Derelas has to learn this as well. When he does, he will be a hero.

Which is all good. As you said, characters who are perfect are boring. It is the characters who have a long inner journey to make along with their physical actions who are the most interesting ones. They are also the ones people can most identify with, because like real people, they have vulnerabilities that they must overcome. Watching them do that is uplifting for its own sake.

Posted by: mALX Apr 2 2011, 11:36 PM

QUOTE(SubRosa @ Apr 2 2011, 12:28 PM) *

As you said, characters who are perfect are boring. It is the characters who have a long inner journey to make along with their physical actions who are the most interesting ones. They are also the ones people can most identify with, because like real people, they have vulnerabilities that they must overcome. Watching them do that is uplifting for its own sake.



You said a mouthful here! (I agree).

Posted by: Grits Apr 6 2011, 12:28 AM

You’re right, Cyrodiil just got a lot darker. Hauling Captain Matius off to the IC, yikes!

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Apr 8 2011, 12:07 AM

Sorry for the absence, everyone. It's been an extremely stressful few days for me. I've gone over most of the troubles already in the Coffee Shop thread, but I've also been quite tied up with a >1000 word essay for my English class, as well. Since I don't like to work on two writing projects at once, so I had to let the Fan-Fic go for a little while.Prior commitments come first.

Thankfully my weekend starts tomorrow, so I'll probably be able to get back to writing this soon enough. I'll aim to be back in gear here by then.

Just want to let you all know what's going on.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Apr 8 2011, 09:21 PM

@haute ecole rider: It is all part of one of the central themes of my story, that true heroes must suffer at the hands of the weak. Matius is without a doubt a hero, so now he must suffer the wrath of that weak-willed politician Ocato. It was a purely political arrest, in order for Ocato to have an excuse that he did something about the Kvatch crisis. But he isn't fooling anyone despite the Courier's slant in his favor, he obviously took the easy way out.

@SubRosa: Criticism? That? No, you've just described everything I hoped to get across to the reader about Dere in this particular part. He is not a hero, and has a long way to go before he can become one. What you have described and debated is, to put it simply, exactly what I wanted you to see. For that, I consider your words to be complimentary, and as such I thank you very much for your insight.
Nit be picked.

@Acadian: Having the Oblivion Crisis occur through secondhand information and rumors has become something of a trademark in this tale, but it will eventually have a direct affect on our Bosmer. Still, all the major events are presented in the background, and I do this primarily so that I can keep my readers on the same page as my timeline. Just in case there was any doubt, though, it is now mid-Hearthfire.

@mALX: True, that, but Dere is still only that ordinary guy. He is intelligent, but he is no hero, and his temper tantrum at the end of the nightmare illustrates this. SubRosa is correct with everything she says, because what she is describing is exactly what Dere's character is and what I want it to be.

@Grits: I'm afraid things will not stop there. Things have only just started to get horrible.

@all: Thank you all for your insight into Dere's character.

next: Persuasion, and not in that ridiculous "Wheel of Fortune" variety!



Chapter 7-2: The Game of Persuasion



The courtyard outside the chapel of Mara had become completely unrecognizable in my absence. What was once a relatively muddy emptiness had been transformed into a city of tents, dazzling my eyes with every color of the rainbow and more. This struck me as quite out of character for this city of drab, rotted browns and greens, occasionally broken by the white pinpricks of fungus growing wherever their voracious roots could take hold. Nevertheless, I appreciated the idea that this city was getting a bit more lively, even if no one was yet here to occupy the brand new city-within-the-city.

“What’s going on over there?” I asked Faith, pointing towards the tents. She had insisted in accompanying me to the Mages Guild, perhaps just in case some Brotherhood bowman was hiding behind the Lucky Old Lady or something. Tadrose was too busy in the forge today to come, and she didn’t seem willing to tell what she was in such a hurry to accomplish.

“The Tournament of Archers,” Faith responded. “It’s being held in Bravil this year. They’ve only just started putting the site together, mind you. Soon, this entire courtyard will become a fairground, and the city will be inundated with travelers here to observe and compete.”

A tiny stab of remorse gripped me at this point. I was most likely going to miss this event. It would have been quite nice to see Cyrodiil’s best battle each other in such a test of skill and precision.

“Shame we’re going to miss it,” I then voiced my concerns. Faith then fixed my with a small smile.

“It’s alright, you won’t be missing anything,” she replied, an attempt at reassurance not completely hiding a certain grimness on her words. “Daenlin always wins. He’s been Champion Archer for the past seven years now.”

“Who’s Daenlin?” I asked.

“He’s a Fletcher,” Faith answered. “He runs an archery shop here in Bravil and offers training to those willing to pay and members of the Fighters Guild. Occasionally he takes a long-term student under his wing as his apprentice, though it is rare for him to do so.”

“Why?”

“He only teaches his deepest secrets to the best, and he’s very picky,” Faith responded. “Some are saying that his latest apprentice is quite talented, though. I will admit, it would be a spectacle to see those two face off against each other on the targets.”

“No doubt, it would be,” I replied somberly. “If only we could stay a little longer.”

“But you know we can’t do that,” Faith reminded me, pushing open the small wooden gate leading to the Bravil Mages Guild. “We’re right on the doorstep of the Brotherhood here, and frankly I’m quite surprised they didn’t find you.”

Suddenly, I felt a bit of sympathy toward Kud-Ei. She may have sent me to Oblivion, but at least she knew how to keep her mouth shut. It was too bad I would never be able to thank her for that, I thought as I made my way inside. Faith did not follow, as she had told me on the way that once I was here, she needed to return to Cyrodiil City once again.

The guild hall remained more or less as it was when I first arrived, only this time Delphine was deep in conversation with Henantier at the dining table. Kud-Ei was in her usual solitary chair in the corner, reading. Glad for the relative privacy this would allow, I made a cautious approach.

“Ah, hello again, Associate,” Kud-Ei spoke the moment she saw me, spreading her book on her lap. “I never got a chance to thank you for all your help with getting Henantier back to this world. Are you here for your recommendation?”

“Actually, no,” I replied. Kud-Ei’s gratuitous face quickly melted into one of confusion at my words. “I have a different request.”

“I see,” Kud-Ei replied cautiously. “Well, let’s hear it then. You did me a great service, after all, so I see no reason why you shouldn’t have a say in the matter.”

“You know of the Guide network that has been under construction?”

Kud-Ei responded by nodding slowly, while at the same time narrowing her eyelids.

“I’d like to use it,” I finished.

“You’d have to wait until the network is finished, I’m afraid,” Kud-Ei responded in a tense voice. “It’s too risky for us to teleport a full-grown man right now.”

“Unfortunately, this really can’t wait,” I pressed.

“Then perhaps you would care to tell me why it is so important that you use an unfinished and potentially unstable teleportation grid?” Kud-Ei asked me. Her eyes were now glued to mine, and her gaze seemed to bore into my soul. “Why not take a carriage to wherever you wish to go?”

I faltered under her gaze. She was looking so deeply into my own eyes that she would likely catch any falsehood I was stupid enough to utter, and I would expect no less from a woman as good at secret-keeping as her.

“This teleportation network you’re building... it’s based on Ayleid Arcana, correct?” I inquired.

“Parts of it,” Kud-Ei responded. “How did you know that, though?”

“I saw a book in passing in the Cheydinhal guild’s library called ‘The Ayleid Steps’,” I told her, recalling an old story my father had told me. “The steps are part of a network of old teleportation stones. Would I be correct in assuming you are studying the steps for your own network?”

“That would be rather disturbingly accurate,” Kud-Ei replied, now slightly unnerved. “So, what are you trying to tell me?”

“My family has always had an interest in the Ayleids,” I answered, pushing the edge I now had, “My father worked for the Archaeology Guild uncovering and exploring their ruins, and I am looking to study their culture and Arcana when I arrive at the University. It would be quite a boon for my studies for me to experience what you are doing here, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Funnily enough, I would not,” Kud-Ei replied sternly. “Ambition is one thing, but what you are proposing is simply foolish. Who knows where you would end up if we tried, and how would I explain it to the council that one of our members was found in Colovia and his limbs in Daggerfall?”

Her reservation was starting to irritate me. When Henantier was at stake, she didn’t seem to put much by Guild regulations, she just grabbed me, shoved me into his dreams, and said ‘get him back’.

“I thought you were rather good at not telling them anything they don’t need to know?” I bit back. “I’m sure Henantier would agree with you there.”

Kud-Ei’s expression became unreadable after my utterance, and a very loud silence followed. It didn’t occur to me that I was speaking until I had already finished, and what I had told her she would definitely not take well.

“You tread a fine line, Associate,” Kud-Ei’s voice hissed in anger. “I suggest you choose your next words with care, or you might find me less willing to allow you to remain with us at all.”

Kud-Ei was making her staggering intellect quite well known to me at this point. This made all the planning I had done at the Fighters Guild last night seem fruitlessly feeble. No doubt she would see through any attempt I would make to blackmail her in a heartbeat. It was small wonder she managed to get me recruited to venture into Oblivion assist Henantier. I didn’t think it would be very likely that I would be able to continue this conversation for much longer, I needed to end it here.

“Listen,” I began, “I understand that you take your position quite seriously. I also know that you know the value of a man in your debt. I did help you, yes, but I also know that what I’m asking of you is far too much for me to bank on, especially since you barely even know me. If you help me with this, it is quite possible I would be able to help you in the future.”

“And you are trying to say what?” Kud-Ei requested of me. Her voice was no longer hissing and she had widened her eyes slightly, so I knew now I was walking the right path.

“I am offering to indebt myself to you,” I answered. “Never mind that recommendation anymore, what I’m asking is far beyond the scope of a signature on a piece of parchment. If you allow me to do this, then I would be well and truly yours.”

Kud-Ei said nothing for a very long time. All I could hope for was that she was considering my request, but at the same time, I knew what I was asking of her could get both of us thrown out of the Guild. She was right in being skeptical of keeping such a secret, as she barely knew me.

“You say you have interest in the Ayleids?” She then asked.

“Yes.”

“And that you would be willing to do anything if I agree to this?”

“Correct.”

“No matter the danger?”

I hesitated for a moment, after the Dreamworld, I didn’t know what to expect when it came to Kud-Ei’s definition of danger. Nevertheless, I really didn’t have much choice in the matter.

“No matter the danger.” I repeated, hoping to Y’ffre I wasn’t going to regret doing this.

“Very well,” Kud-Ei responded. “I think I might have a use for you.”

Posted by: mALX Apr 8 2011, 10:52 PM

Hmmm, I wonder why it is so important to him to use the teleport ... and why she is so adamant against the use of it? Great Write !!

Posted by: SubRosa Apr 9 2011, 12:01 AM

Many people know that IRL history, 10,000 Parthians destroyed a Roman army of nearly 40,000 under Crassus at Carrhae, including killing Crassus himself. What many people do not realize is that the exceptional Parthian commander - Surena - was himself murdered by his king. It seems he had become too popular afterward. Ocato appears to be following in the Parthian King's footsteps...

Brotherhood bowman was hiding behind the Lucky Old Lady
biggrin.gif I loved this little nod to a certain bowman who can often be found lurking near the Lady.

There is a Tournament of Archers taking place in Bravil! biggrin.gif Poor Derelas is going to miss it! Granted, staying while it was going on would have made him extremely vulnerable to another assassination attempt.

how would I explain it to the council that one of our members was found in Colovia and his limbs in Daggerfall
While that would be embarrassing for Kud-Ei, I suspect that Derelas might find it even more discomforting!

“I think I might have a use for you.”
Uh oh, this looks bad. Unless she just wants Derelas to go fetch a staff for Ardaline...




nits:
She was looking so deeply into my own eyes that she would likely catchy any falsehood
That tricksy Argonian slipped in an extra "y" at the end of your catch!

Posted by: Lady Syl Apr 9 2011, 12:20 AM

I'm just now beginning your story, so I am commenting on Chapter One. Hope you don't mind. smile.gif

I like how you begin the story with a nightmare. It's a great way to draw in the reader and set me up for mystery. I also love how you made Weye a half day's journey from the Imperial City, as well as making the city the bustling capital it would have been, if it were real. It makes the world so much more believable, and that's something I've sort of done with my own story, making the Shivering Isles, it's cities, and it's buildings somewhat bigger, as well as making them more populated.

The way you described his entrance into the city--all the sounds, people, and sights.... It was excellent. The more detailed, the better, and you did a wonderful job with it.

I also liked how you set us up for the Emperor's murder with the people speaking at the end of the chapter. (At least, that's what I'm pretty sure they were discussing.) The hinting is great, leaving us to wonder--is this what they are talking about? Or are you going to throw us off, and it's really something else? Of course, everyone else reading your story already knows, but I'm still just beginning, so no one give it away, please! wink.gif

I look forward to continuing with your story here, and I will comment whenever I can.

Posted by: Acadian Apr 9 2011, 01:24 AM

A pretty tense discussion between Dere and Kud-Ei with some very high stakes. Nice that Dere was able to adjust his verbal dueling tactics in mid stride.

If Dere gets scattered all over Tamriel, I guess his promise won't matter. If he survives however, he is indebted to the secretive Kud-Ei. On the other hand, I would not be surprised if Kud-Ei exacts her price before allowing the teleportation. So many neat ways this could go! smile.gif

Too bad it looks like Dere and Faith will miss the tournament.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Apr 10 2011, 08:49 AM

@mALX: He needs to use the teleporter because the Ancient is watching for him on the roads, as is the Brotherhood. It's too dangerous for Dere to travel by conventional means right now, and there is also the hope that using teleportation will help to throw his assailants off the trail.

@SubRosa: Poor Dere indeed, that tournament would have been an excellent test of skill for him... but he still has much yet to learn, and even more pressing matters to deal with. Especially now that he has committed himself to assisting a most secretive lizard who is not afraid of thinking outside the box.
Nibble be pickled.

@Lady Syl: Welcome to the show, I am very happy you are with us now and enjoying my tiny tale! I do not mind at all that you are commenting on previous chapters. I've been told that descriptive imagery is one of my strong suits, so keep an eye out for it in the future. Enjoy your stay!

@Acadian: Too bad Dere won't be able to see Buffy dueling against her master, or Teresa, for that matter. I wish this wasn't the case, but you know how it is with the people Dere has to deal with, all business, no pleasure, most loathesome for a Bosmer like him. As for the price, that is coming up shortly.

@all: As I am a large-scale forumite at that other forum, this will likely be the last story update I make in this thread, as I am trying to limit myself to 200 posts per thread (the limit that is enforced over at the other forum). We have come such a long way already, the Word document containing all the writing has gone over 150 pages now... single spaced (that's over 56,000 words)! Look for the next update to come in a new thread some time in the next week.

next: Anyone ever wonder why spellcasting in Morrowind is so different than in Cyrodiil? Me too. smile.gif



Chapter 7.3: Stepstones of Knowledge



“This is our library’s copy of ‘The Ayleid Steps’,” Kud-Ei told me, handing me a relatively unblimished book. The rather heavy volume was bound in tan leather and bore a familiar vine-like pattern on the front cover. “You will need to read it and study it, so that you might better understand what we are trying to accomplish.”

“Forgive me for asking,” I then voiced as Kud-Ei led me into a side chamber, Henantier hot on her heels after having been summoned by her to come with us, “but why are you using Ayleid Arcana? Why not use the system you developed in Morrowind?”

“Because that localized Mark-Recall network relies rather heavily on the natural Magicka of the land,” Henantier responded quickly. “Due to its proximity to Red Mountain, personal teleportation spells and levitation, two of the most difficult spells to master, are actually made quite easy to use in that area. Because of this, it was also very simple for the guild to adapt a special network of marks that certain mages would be able to recall customers to, all facilitated by the high volumes of natural Magicka present in the area.

“Cyrodiil, unfortunately, does not have such a luxury, as our native Magicka here is actually quite low. You can find allusions to this shortcoming all over the place. For example, it is near impossible to levitate or teleport here, and most of the Ayleid Arcana that you find, be it the Star Wells or Welkynd Stones, were specifically designed to combat Cyrodiil’s low native Magicka levels.”

“Then why is spellcasting supposed to be so much harder in Morrowind than here?” This made absolutely no sense, how could improved Magicka make it harder to cast spells?

“Because the Magicka is coming from different sources,” Henantier explained. “Cyrodiil’s Magicka is provided purely by Aetherius, the great hole in Oblivion torn by Magnus when he witnessed Lorkhan’s creation. In Morrowind, however, Magicka is being provided by Red Mountain, and it is a very different form indeed. For one thing, it blocks the Magicka provided by Magnus completely, and it is also extremely difficult for the body to absorb, especially for foreigners. Spellcasting also requires greater focus from the caster, and it is often hopeless for any foreigner to cast a spell while holding anything else in his hands.

“However, due to the nature of Red Mountain’s Magicka, it actually increases the casting difficulty of basic spells while lowering the difficulty for advanced spells. The Mages Guild still does not fully understand why, all we know is that it has something to do with the native Magicka of the land. Here in Cyrodiil, for instance, it is impossible for a novice spellcaster to cast anything more than a basic flare spell. But in Morrowind, novices can often exceed their spellcasting abilities to a point. Such spellcasting is rather prone to failure, but unlike here in Cyrodiil, it is possible for one to cast spells beyond their skill level thanks to, as we’ve christened it, Red Magicka.”

“Cyrodiil functions on Blue Magicka,” Kud-Ei added, “as it comes from the sky. But because of the change in Magicka, as we explained, spellcasting techniques that function well here do not work in Morrowind. Many mages have to start all over again when they move to the land.”

Henantier sure did love his practice, I thought, my head would soon be spinning from all the knowledge he was imparting, and which I was completely failing to take in. Red Magicka? Star Wells? Welkynd Stones? Was it really that different than the stuff here in Cyrodiil? Maybe one day I would find out, but until then, Kud-Ei now owned my time, so such a vacation would have to wait.

“However, although Red Magicka makes spellcasting much harder for the lay mage,” Henantier continued on again, “the fact that there is so much of it in the area allows for spells that rely on high native Magicka levels, such as Levitation and Teleportation, to easily function, and they do not seem to mind the change in form, either, which is surprising, but nonetheless appreciated. There is a reason why the Ayleid Stepstones are centered around their Star Wells, after all. It would be impossible to power them otherwise.”

“Anyways, back to the task at hand,” I finally spoke after what seemed like hours of prattling from Henantier. “After studying this book, what else do you wish for me to do?” I asked Kud-Ei.

“Find an Ayleid ruin, look for stepstones, and make an attempt to use them,” Kud-Ei responded. “All the details you need are in the book.”

“Forgive me, Magister, but isn’t Irlav Jarol leading an expedition to do just that right now?” Henantier asked, puzzlement showing in his eyes.

“If he manages to get results back and I’m still alive, I’ll eat my imp chips.” Kud-Ei returned, slightly irritably and shaking her head. “I am not willing to sit around waiting for that geezer, I want to get this project finished in a Man’s lifetime.”

“So you are asking me because-” I started, then Kud-Ei cut me off.

“-Because you get results,” Kud-Ei finished for me. “You rescued Henantier, and believe it or not, that means a lot to me and is mainly the reason I am allowing this. The guild needs results, and Jarol is just too slow a worker for me.”

We stopped. In front of me was a small, round marble stone, slightly indented in the middle, and just large enough for a grown man to stand on. Above it was suspended a glowing purple lantern, and a small plinth had been erected nearby, which Henantier now occupied.

“This is the Guide chamber,” Kud-Ei explained. “Now, before we send you on your way, there are a couple more things for us to go over. First, hand me your Recommendation paperwork.”

“Why?” I asked, rifling through my pack for a short period. “I thought this was happening at the expense of your Recommendation?”

“I keep my promises,” Kud-Ei replied briskly, snatching away the parchment. “Besides, I am quite certain that you will need access to the University, it will make our work much quicker at the very least, and I don’t want your time wasted.”

One quick signature later, and I was stuffing the parchment packet away in my rucksack once again.

“Second, we need to know where you wish to go,” Henantier added. “Any ideas?”

“Anvil,” I quickly replied, recalling the long conversation Tadrose, Faith, and I had last night. “So, what do I do with this, I just get on the stone and you whisk me away?”

Henantier and Kud-Ei exchanged meaningful glances, and a long silence followed. Something was telling me there was a ‘not exactly’ coming, and that I probably wouldn’t like it.

“Well…,” Kud-Ei began, her voice carrying a tone of mild discomfort, “there is a bit of an… issue we’ve been having trouble with lately. That’s why Delphine is here in this guild hall, but unfortunately we’ve had to let her go.”

“Why?”

“Because the chickens we were testing on had a rather nasty habit of turning into a cloud of feathers and blood after she performed her ‘tweaks,’” Kud-Ei responded quickly, explaining why the floorboards in this chamber were so well-scrubbed. “We’ve since had to rethink a few of our tactics, and this has had a rather unfortunate side effect. The teleport is perfectly safe for humans again, mind you,” she quickly added, raising her hands as my eyebrows shot into my chestnut locks, “we have tested that, but there is a bit of a… problem.”

“What?” I hesitantly asked.

Kud-Ei responded by looking towards a corner of the room. In that corner, two curtain-frames had been set up between a wooden pole to create a sort of box hiding the corner of the room. The curtains were drawn. I looked to Kud-Ei, then back to the curtains, then finally back to Kud-Ei again, and the stark reality dawned on me.

“You have got to be joking.”

“I’m afraid not,” Kud-Ei responded, her green scales becoming even greener as she pawed the ground with her shoe. “It’s a good thing Henantier has already seen you in such a state, otherwise, this would probably be most embarrassing for you.”

“And it still is!” I replied indignantly. “Just because he’s seen me disrobed before doesn’t make me any more comfortable about this!”

“If it helps, we can send everything you are carrying with you just fine,” Kud-Ei responded, looking towards a furiously blushing Henantier, “It’s just the clothing. We have no idea why, it just… gets left behind every time we try to transport someone. We’ve had to clear off the ground floor of the hall when testing for three days now because of this.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was about to go through a temperamental teleporter naked into the middle of a crowded guild hall in a city I’ve never visited before. And that’s not to mention I had no idea how the people there would react to my sudden appearance, especially without any coverings. This was going to be the most exciting travel I have ever had, and I was going to hate every second of it, unless there was something that could be done on this end.

“Could I at least be afforded a private arrival spot, like behind the guild hall in Anvil?” I inquired, making my way to the curtained-off corner.

“We’ll be teleporting you to a small cave just beneath the castle,” Henantier replied. “Theres a couple stepstones in there that can receive you, and it should afford you enough time to get your clothes back on once you’re there.”

“Well, I guess I don’t have much choice,” I concluded grimly, wrenching the curtains closed.

Posted by: haute ecole rider Apr 10 2011, 05:31 PM

Ooh, so there's more to teleporting than just saying "Beam me up, Scotty!"

Interesting conversation about the difference in spellcasting between Morrowind and Cyrodiil/Oblivion.

Here's hoping Dere doesn't die of embarrassment when he arrives at the other end!

And off we go . . .

Posted by: Lady Syl Apr 10 2011, 06:03 PM

Chapter 2.2--Excellent, of course! I liked the scene with students signing up at the university, and the application with a sheet for recommendations--well written and believable. And of course, I enjoyed the drunken brawl at the inn, while they watched the scene... And again, your descriptions of everything is strong and detailed. Awesome!!! biggrin.gif

Posted by: SubRosa Apr 10 2011, 08:31 PM

I always thought spellcasting was so different between the two games because so many people complained about how badly it sucked in Morrowind to not have your magicka naturally regenerate, and so everyone had to use mods to fix that screw up. Not to mention the crap idea of spells failing to work at all. While I thought levitate was removed from Oblivion because with cities being in different zones than the rest of the world, if you flew up over the wall, you would see a big fat nothing on the other side. Not to mention not be able to truly go there, as you would still be in the city's cell. Plus Fast Travel is so much simpler than that confusing mess of marks, recalls, almsivi and divine interventions, guild guides, silt-striders, ships, and zillion other methods of teleporting the player around. But I could be wrong... wink.gif

Still, you have woven for us a wonderfully complex and well-thought explanation for the differences in magic use. It might also be a contributing factor for the Empire having such a hard time conquering Morrowind, and vice-versa, because each side's magicians would quickly be rendered impotent upon passing into enemy territory.

You might even consider broadening this idea to other provinces and other forms of magic. You could tie it into the ancient towers in all of them: Red Mountain, White-Gold Tower, Adamantium Tower, Crystal Tower, High Hrothgar, etc... Perhaps each influences magic in a different way? http://www.imperial-library.info/content/nu-mantia-intercept gives some interesting ideas on this sort of thing.

I have been waiting for The Ayleid Steps to rear their heads stones since I saw that Derelas's parents were in the Archaeology Guild. It seems that Kud-Ei might in fact be putting Derelas right onto the same path that his parents were upon before their deaths/capture.

Henantier hot on her heels after having been summoned by her
I see that as well as being an expert illusionist, Kud-Ei has some skill at conjuration as well. What was that, the Summon Geek spell? wink.gif

I loved Kud-Ei's assessment of Irlav Jarol! I see I am not the only one who has embraced Cardboard Box's version of Irlav. Or was that taken from his shoddy handling of Vatican Vahtacen in the game? Either way it works, as it gives a sense of realism that the Mages Guild would not put the best man on the task, but rather the most connected one. Plus, I did detect a compliment of Derelas' abilities there.

The teleport is perfectly safe for humans again, mind you,
Seeing that Derelas is not human, I suspect he should be worried...

Finally, the naked teleporter is a wonderful bit of humor in what is otherwise a rather dark and somber story. I am wondering if Derelas should have been named Buff instead, given his own habit of winding up naked! biggrin.gif



nits:
“Then why is spellcasting supposed to be so much harder in Morrowind than here?” This made absolutely no sense, how could improved Magicka make it harder to cast spells? From the little I have heard, spellcasting was supposed to be much more difficult in Morrowind than in Cyrodiil.
It feels redundant for Derelas to ask why spellcasting is harder in Morrowind, and then think the same thing in the last sentence of this paragraph. I think you can just delete the final sentence altogether.

Posted by: mALX Apr 10 2011, 10:38 PM

I Loved your detailed explanations on the workings of magic and magicka in this chapter !! Some real insights that are logical and intriguing !!


QUOTE

her green scales becoming even greener as she pawed the ground with her shoe.


GAAAH !!! Her blushes come out in her own Argonian colors !!! How smart and cool an idea !!


QUOTE

I was about to go ... naked into the middle of a crowded guild hall in a city I’ve never visited before.


HA! So Maxical was only half as bad for being topless in the refuge camps !! ROFL !!!

Another Great Chapter !!!

Posted by: Acadian Apr 11 2011, 02:55 AM

I finally spoke after what seemed like hours of prattling from Henantier.
You set the scene for this very well with the mage's arcane and rambling musings! Well done!

I want to get this project finished in a Man’s lifetime.”
Hee! That is a short time to us elves, no?

she quickly added, raising her hands as my eyebrows shot into my chestnut locks,
This was wonderfully written!

Uh oh. Another nekkid adventure to the musical strands of 'Tequila Guild transport makes his clothes fall off'. tongue.gif

Nits:

“This is our library’s copy of ‘The Ayleid Steps’,” Kud-Ei told me, handing me rather heavy volume bound in tan leather and bearing a familiar vine-like pattern on the front cover.
I think you probably want to insert the word 'a' before the word 'rather'. While considering this sentence, let me offer a couple much more subjective thoughts. You may want to avoid repeating 'me' in close proximity, especially since it is so easy to fix. The sentence may also be a tad long and better served as two. Perhaps: '...Kud-Ei said as she handed me a rather heavy volume. It was bound in tan leather and bore a familiar vine-like pattern on the front cover.'

Henantier continued one again, “the fact …
I expect you want 'on' instead of 'one' in the first clause.

Posted by: Thomas Kaira Apr 11 2011, 06:26 AM

Light Through Darkness Book One has ended.


http://chorrol.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=4716

To recap the story thus far:


Chapter 1-1: Derelas, a Bosmer immigrant from Valenwood, has arrived in Cyrodiil hoping to join the Mages Guild. After a nightmare in Weye concerning strange ruined tunnels and malicious figures, he rose to make his way to the Imperial City, bound for the Arcane University. New to life in the big city, he was easily lost in the pell-mell crowds and criss-crossing streets, but he eventually found his way. At the same time, shadowed villains were hatching a devious plan, but for what?

Chapter 1-2: Derelas arrived at the Arcane University, and learned of the means through which he might attend. The Guild has set up a Recommendation reward system, that might be able to grant Derelas a scholarship to the University. In the evening after his visit, he met up with Fathrian Dresdan (Faith) over dinner at Wawnet Inn, and the wheels of destiny were set into motion.




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Chapter 2-1: Another unpleasant dream later, Derelas is on the road to Chorrol for his first Recommendation. On the way he has a rather hairy encounter (no pun intended) with a Khajiit highwayman which is only just stopped by a passing patrol. This prompts Derelas to reminisce about his fencing training with his father, an archaeologist, who has since disappeared, along with Derelas' mother.

Chapter 2-2: Derelas' gleeful arrival in Chorrol is cut short by a shocking announcement: The Septim line has been assassinated. Though unrest is brewing, it is business as usual throughout the hinterland city, and Derelas finally has a chance to apply for the Mages Guild. After a brief demonstration of his magical skills, he is admitted, and is promptly set the task of dealing with a strange figure known as Earana. Derelas then learns of a mystical tome known only as Fingers of the Mountain.

Chapter 2-3: Earana accosts Derelas outside the gates of Chorrol for the book, but is dispatched by Faith before she can cause him harm. After giving the book to Teekeeus, Derelas makes his way back to the Oak and Crosier inn to get ready for his next journey. On the way, though, he bumps into a very drunk Reynald Jemane, who requests that Derelas travel to Cheydinhal to find a man who is impersonating him.




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Chapter 3-1: The peaceful walk along the Black Road is cut short by the same highwayman Derelas encountered previously. After a violent tussle, Derelas kills the highwayman, fulfilling a Bosmer rite of passage in the process. He does not know it yet, but the nagging voice speaking to him, reassuring him that what he did was right, is his Spirit Guide, Equine.

Chapter 3-2: Derelas is melancholy over his murder, and is trying to figure out how to live with himself now that he has taken a sentient life. He eventually finds reassurance in the form of an old fisherman named Aelwin Merowald. In an attempt to dull the pain of lost innocence, Derelas agrees to help the crippled fisherman finish of his contract for an alchemist in Skingrad, and he is given an interesting ring in thanks. Later that night over dinner, Derelas is introduced to Nerussa, and learns of the elusive Shadowbanish Wine.

Chapter 3-3: Having arrived in Cheydinhal, Derelas meets the ever aggressive Falcar, who promptly sets him to retrieving a ring from the well behind the guild hall. Deetsan, however, is worried about what Derelas is getting into, and advises caution in performing the task. Thankfully, she discovered that the ring Derelas had been given by Aelwin would allow him to breathe underwater, so at least the danger for him would be slight. While Derelas dealt with the ring, Deetsan had a most unpleasant chat with Falcar, and Falcar stormed off.

Chapter 3-4: It turns out the ring Falcar asked Derelas to retrieve was specifically enchanted to keep the user from leaving the well. A previous member, Vidkun, had drowned in his attempt to retrieve it. Deetsan let Derelas know the worst once he returned (and vice versa), and Derelas then offered to clear up Falcar's quarters while Deetsan prepared a report to the Council of Mages about what happened. While Derelas cleaned up the Magister's quarters, he found a mysteriously locked chest of drawers...

Chapter 3-5: ...That contained nothing interesting. Trayvond the Redguard introduced himself to Derelas while he was putting some of Falcar's clothing that got left behind into the communal wardrobe, and Derelas inquired about the name Jemane. Trayvond pointed him to Newlands Lodge, where a man named Guilbert Jemane was staying. He was astonished to hear that Derelas had met Reynald, as he had thought his brother to be dead, and rushed away without a second thought. The day ended with a pleasant dinner, and a most disparaging meeting.




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Chapter 4-1: Kvatch has been attacked, the city is destroyed, and the gateways to Oblivion are now open. It is a tense day in the Mages Guild, and Derelas, who wished to take the day off, reconsiders once he learns of Eilonwy's departure to find out if her parents survived. It begins to rain as Derelas travels, and desperate for shelter, he veers off into a large forest south of the road. This is not taken well by a mysterious Dunmer eying his movements nearby.

Chapter 4-2: Tension grows as Derelas fights his way through the Ancient Yews. Faith soon catches up with him, and after chastising Derelas, recommends that they leave. Unfortunately, this idea is put down when a troll comes smashing through the thickets, forcing them to run away deeper into the treacherous forest. They eventually find a cave, and Faith is able to drive the beast away with a torch. They way back shut, there is now no choice for the two but to fight their way through the Yews to escape to the south.

Chapter 4-3: After settling down for the night, Faith decides to investigate the cave and make sure they are alone. She then makes her way through the small cave, killing a couple spiders on the way. She discovers they are not alone, but are in fact sharing the cavern with another person. Hoping that remaining quiet will be enough, she returns to the surface to let Derelas know… and promptly starts bickering with him over who will watch the entrance first.

Chapter 4-4: Apparently the noise of the argument drew a bear up from the depths… as well as the person. After terrorizing Faith, Derelas uses his Beast Tongue to calm the bear down. Afterwards, he meets this mysterious druid of the forest, who introduces herself as Sibylla Draconis. Sybilla then introduces Derelas to his Spirit Guide properly, and Derelas learns of the connection they share, and also learns a bit about Spirit Guides from Equine.

Chapter 4-5: After preparing them for the journey ahead, Derelas and Faith set out to travel southward. Faith heartily dislikes Sibylla, which Equine expresses his disapproval of, and eventually she and Derelas row over it. Knowing that the worst thing that could happen at this point is to drive each other apart, Derelas tries, and succeeds, to apologize to and comfort Faith, who is hoping for something different with Derelas, but she does not wish to divulge further.

Chapter 4-6: Settling into a ruined tower, Faith and Derelas finally manage to get past their differences while enjoying the particular creature comforts often found by the lay adventurer. Previously in the day, they had a nasty tussle with a Moss Giant, who very nearly killed them until Derelas managed a small feat of spellcasting (which Dere is unsure of what happened) to calm the giant just long enough to for Faith to dispatch it.

Chapter 4-7: The two finally escape form the Yews, and Equine is off in the distance savoring the moment. After three days of hiking, the two finally learn of the latest news: Oblivion gates are opening all across Tamriel and travelers are being strongly advised to stay on the roads. After a rest, Faith directs Derelas to the Great Niben Bridge, and then sets off back to the Imperial City. She leaves Derelas a letter introducing him to the people she works for. Meanwhile, Teekeeus has a gift for the mysterious conspirators, and we learn of their vampiric nature.




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Chapter 5-1: Derelas arrives in Vergayun for a night of rest and relaxation after the horrors of the Ancient Yews. After a nice meal and a silent musing, he turns in for the night. Then, another nightmare hits, and he awakens to find assassins at his bedstand.

Chapter 5-2: Faith arrives in the nick of time, but Derelas is still wounded in the following fight. Upon learning the assassins are Dark Brotherhood, the town guard advises them to leave, and Faith recommends hiding away in the city of Bravil.

Chapter 5-3: Upon arriving in the squalid slum-town that is Bravil, Faith shows Derelas to the Fighters Guild before setting off again. Inside, Derelas is introduced to Tadrose Helas, and upon giving her Faith’s message, is vectored upstairs by her. He also learns of the fate of a certain city, and the rising of the Hero of Kvatch.

Chapter 5-4: Tadrose gives Derelas the story of his parents’ disappearance. They were lost while exploring the Ayleid ruins of Nornalhorst, and of Derelas’ father’s possessions, only his white-hilted saber was recovered. After giving Derelas his father’s blade, she advises him of the danger present to him in the form of the Ancient that has been following him for some time now and the Dark Brotherhood, who have opened a contract on his life. Once done, she prepares a letter to an unknown person.




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Chapter 6-1: Derelas’ wound has festered, and he has to rush away to the Chapel of Mara to have it mended by Marz. After a small discussion with her over how she came about her practice, Derelas decides to head for the Mages Guild since he’s here, and try for another recommendation.

Chapter 6-2: For his third recommendation task, Kud-Ei wishes for him to rescue Henantier from a situation he got himself into. After briefing Derelas (but carefully skirting a few details least he back down), she hands him the amulet to allow Derelas to access Henantiers dreams, and lays him to rest. Derelas then wakes up naked in a strange room bathed in red light.

Chapter 6-3: Henantier is in no state to talk, so Derelas needs to reason out what to do for himself. After a terrifying journey through a door, Derelas happens upon what can only be described as a test. Several harrowing puzzles later, Derelas finally manages to retrieve the first part of Henantier’s fractured mind.

Chapter 6-4: Derelas only has one task left now, the previous two being scary, but not extraordinary. In the final test, Derelas discovers that his own nightmares have begun to bleed into Henantier’s dreamworld. After being emotionally tortured, he is finally handed the final piece to Henantier’s mind, as well as a strange prophecy.

Chapter 6-5: Derelas rescues Henantier, but is extremely mad about what happened in the Dreamworld and blames Kud-Ei for his ailments. Unfortunately, before he has ample time to seethe, Tadrose accosts him and chastises him for getting lost. Little does he know it, but he had been gone for a full week. Faith meets back up with Derelas at the Fighters Guild to discuss a new development.




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Chapter 7-1: After discussing how Derelas could possibly leave a city so well connected to the Brotherhood, Derelas and Faith come up with the unfinished Guild Guide teleporters being constructed in Cyrodiil. Some planning later, Derelas enjoys a light breakfast while the news arrives. Kvatch is saved, but Savlian Matius is being made a scapegoat for all that happened there.

Chapter 7-2: The Tournament of Archers has arrived in Bravil. Unfortunately, Derelas is going to miss it because of the circumstances. After a hairy verbal duel with Kud-Ei, she eventually agrees to allow Derelas an early ticket to Anvil… in return for his assistance in a project.

Chapter 7-3: Henantier introduces Derelas to the many differences in spellcasting between Cyrodiil and Morrowind, and how the system for Guides Morrowind adopted won’t work in Cyrodiil. They are instead basing their teleportation off of the Ayleid Steps, an ancient network of teleporters constructed by the Heartland High Elves. Kud-Ei then hands Derelas his assignment, explore some Ayleid ruins, and see if he can figure out how the stepstones work. She sends him along with his third University recommendation, a new book, no clothing, and best of all, safety.




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@Everyone: Thank you all for your readership and support! All responses to your comments will be handled in the upcoming Book 2! In the meantime, please hold off any further comments until the next thread is posted, so that you may post them there.

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