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Chorrol.com _ Fan Fiction _ The Talendor Chronicles
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 25 2011, 07:39 PM
AUTHORS NOTE AND DISCLAIMER
This is my first attempt at fan fiction. I am not a writer, by profession or hobby. At least it wasn't a hobby until now. We'll see where that goes. So since I am not a writer, grammatical and spelling errors may slip past the spell-check from time to time. Please feel free to point them out so that I may make the proper edits.
I have read very little fan fiction, which is to say that I have not finished reading any story that I started reading...yet. But starting to read a few has put a flow in my creative juices. (Go Buffy!) Any similarity to any other fan fiction posted in this or any other forum is purely coincidental, with one exception. I have posted this story on another site. I am posting it here because I would like feedback, and I am not getting any at the other site. The readers here seem to post more feedback than readers at the other site. I'm not trying to be a glory hound, and I encourage constructive criticism.
The story is a gameplay narrative. It starts in the 3rd person for the prologue only, the rest will be in 1st person. It is
not a walk-through of the Main Quest. However, as it
is a gameplay narrative, so readers will have to plod through the tutorial section much as I had to plod through while writing it. The tutorial is essential for character development, as you will see. The posts will be relatively short so that the reader will not have to wade through miles of text per post. To keep them short, I am going to borrow Acadian's chapter numbering system (1.1, 1.2, etc.) so I don't end up with three digit chapter numbers.
I hope you will enjoy...
The Talendor ChroniclesPost Script - I have already screwed up. Instead of putting "Authors Note and Disclaimer" in the subject line, it should read "Part One". Is there a way to change that?
Post Script #2 - The first four installments after the Prologue are way too long. This was a rookie mistake and has been rectified Beginning with Chapter 3. I apologize for the long posts, but I promise you'll be glad you slogged through them.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 25 2011, 07:58 PM
Prologue - Unknown Origin
“My head is killing me!” The words echoed in his head for a moment before he realized that he had spoken them aloud.
Where am I?
Who am I?
What in the world is going on?He raised his head and looked around. The surroundings were dimly lit by a flame from a sconce on a damp stone wall. There were two more stone walls. One had a small window near the ceiling letting in precious little light. Chains hung from the ceiling with manacles attached to them. The wall opposite the one with the window in it had a large barred iron gate. The large lock was unmistakable. His clothing smelled and looked as if they had been discarded some time ago and recently rediscovered.
This can’t be good.He tried to stand and failed on his first attempt, thudding back to the stone floor and sending pain through his hip while making the thunder in his head crash between his temples. He made a second attempt, slower this time, and succeeded by using one of the damp walls for support.
Why can’t I remember anything? I can think. I am lucid.He touched each of his fingers to his thumbs.
My hands don’t look right. They are too small.He wiggled his toes in the sackcloth sandals he was wearing.
Where did those shoes come from? My feet are also too small. Huh?He flexed his arms but wasn’t ready to try squatting and standing back up. The pain in his head was receding to a dull throb, but he was still a little dizzy.
Why can’t I remember anything?The dull throb behind his eyes sent his hands up to his head. He paused and then felt all around his head.
MY EARS ARE HUGE! WHAT IS GOING ON?Still using the wall for support, he made his way toward the barred door of his…
Cell?He took a moment to survey his surroundings a little more closely. This definitely looked like a jail cell. Barely large enough to walk around in, the room was filthy. Some straw and…
Are those bones?There was a recessed area with a raised stone slab that looked as if it was meant for sleeping on, a burlap rag with straw beneath lay upon it. There was a small wooden stool and table on the opposite side of the room. The table had an earthenware cup and pitcher on it. The smell in this place was awful. A combination of waste odor mixed with the sickly sweet undertones of something dead and rotting. He tried hard to think, to recall…
By The Nine, what is my name? Who, where, and WHAT am I?A puzzled look crossed his face…
“By The Nine”? What does THAT mean? What are “The Nine”?He shook his head and regretted it immediately, closing his eyes as the dull throb increased to full pain again. He sat motionless until the pain subsided back to a throb. He opened his eyes and continued making his way toward the door. He could see another cell across the hall. There was someone sitting in it, looking back at him. The person stood up and walked toward the bars of his door. The person had dark skin and his eyes shone red in the dim fire light. There were pointed ears on either side of the person’s narrow head with pulled back hair. This person’s clothes looked every bit as tattered and filthy as the ones he was wearing. The person spoke.
“Hey. Wood elf.”
Wood elf?“You’re a little far from the forest, huh? Looks like your days of woodland frolicking have come to an end. To go from the gladed realm of Valenwood to a rat infested hole like this. How very sad.”
Forest? Valenwood?“Those walls must feel like they’re closing in on you. Pretty soon you’ll go mad, and the guards will cut your throat just to stop the ranting. That’s right. You’re going to die in here wood elf. Die!”
He slid down the wall into a squat. Slowly shaking his head so as not to bring back the pain. He had to think. He had to get a handle on this.
Wood elf? Forest? Valenwood? DIE IN HERE? This isn’t real. It’s a dream.He nodded his head backwards into the stone. The pain caused him to squint tightly and grab his head.
OUCH! There’s no way that pain is not real…
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 25 2011, 08:27 PM
Chapter 1.1 – Out of the Cell
Okay…I have to get a handle on this. Just think for a minute.I looked around the room where the guards and the man that called himself “The Emperor” had left me. They went through a gate and locked it behind them. I barely had a moment alone when I heard a scratching sound and suddenly stone blocks tumbled into the room. Just as suddenly, the biggest rats I have ever seen jumped through the new hole. Straight at me! By reflex alone, I swung my fist and stunned the first one as the second one jumped through. Swinging my fists and stomping, I fought them off until I finally felt a skull crack under the weight of my foot as I choked the life out of the other rat.
Panting, I looked at the dead vermin. They were huge! They were easily three feet long and probably thirty pounds each. I looked at my wounds from the battle. Nothing serious, but they will need cleansing. I took a deep breath.
Get a grip. Use your head.I quickly reviewed the events that had brought me here. I had awakened in a jail cell. Some dark skinned fellow with pointy ears had told me I was going to die in that cell. Then the guards came. There was an elderly man wearing a velvet and fur cloak accompanying them. He had told me that his name was Uriel Septim and that he was “my Emperor”, and that I was a citizen of Tamriel. I asked him why I was in jail and he told me that maybe the Gods had placed me there so that we may meet.
That was as good a story as any, because I have no clue how I got here.A female guard stood near the bed when it sank into floor and the wall behind it slid away. One of the other guards muttered something about it being my lucky day, and they all started off down the tunnel that led from the cell. I just stood there for a second, and then I followed them. Anything was going to be an improvement over the cell. The tunnel walls were raw stone and after a short distance we passed through a hole into a basement of some kind. Stone block made up the floors, walls, and arched ceilings. I remember thinking the masonry work was amazing.
Suddenly the guards ran off and I could hear fighting. As “The Emperor” and I rounded a corner, we saw the guards in combat with several figures clad in a dark shimmering armor. The din of clanging metal and yelling echoed loudly off the stone block walls of the chamber. One of the combatants was slain, and suddenly the figures shimmered out of focus as it fell to reveal a human dressed in a red robe. When it was over, three robed figures and the female guard lay motionless. “The Emperor” and I walked over to the guards. “The Emperor” asked about the female guard, a Captain Renault, and was informed of her death. The guards and “The Emperor” walked toward a metal gate. After telling me to stay here, they passed through the gate.
Tamriel? Okay. Focus. Act. You can’t stay here. Get moving! Think and move!I looked at the dead guard. She had weapons. There was no way that armor was going to fit me though. It was way too big.
Too big? What has happened to me?I grabbed both swords. One was shorter, double-edged with a hardened steel blade. The other had a long, slightly curved blade, thin with a single edge. It was amazingly light. With a little coercion, I was able to tie a scabbard to each side of my pants. The guard also had a torch and flint, which I liberated from her as well. I moved to the robed bodies and searched them. Two of them had bottles with strange writing on them. The labels read “Heal” and “Sorcery”. I briefly considered trading my rank clothing for a cleaner, if not blood soaked, robe. But the guards had just killed these people. Wouldn’t one kill me if he saw me in a red robe?
How did I know what that writing meant? Because it is plain as day you idiot! But the characters look so strange.I took off my shirt, tied the sleeves together, and placed the bottles in my make shift satchel. I glanced at the dead rats again as my stomach growled. The thought of eating the beasts repulsed me. Maybe just a little, I thought as my stomach performed a reprise. I used the short sword to slice off about a half pound of meat and tucked it the shirt-bag. I placed the torch between my legs, then pulled out the flint and rubbed it briskly over my wrist irons while holding them over the business end. It caught flame on the second pass.
That was too easy. What else?I scanned the room once more and headed toward the hole in the wall. The moment I stepped through, a high pitched screech stopped me. There was another of these huge rats charging toward me. I quickly drew the katana and clove the rat in two as if I had been doing it all my life. It was too easy, like instinct or natural reflex. A couple more rats charged and I dispatched them with the same ease.
Where did I learn to do that?As I moved through the tunnel, I came across chests, barrels, and crates. I would look inside each of them because, well, you never know. I found all sorts of things. Gold coins, tools, cloth, but no food. My stomach was really growling loud now. I was worried that it might be heard by rats…or worse. I sliced a chunk of the rat meat and skewered it on the end of the sword. I held it over the flame of the torch for about five minutes, turning it every so often. When I took it from the flame, I had to blow it out. This was going to be a greasy, nasty nightmare. I popped it in my mouth and chewed, swallowing as fast as I could. It could have tasted worse I suppose, but yuck!
I continued through the passageways, always checking the crates and such for useful goods. I came to a room that had a well, the usual rats, and what appeared to be a corpse. After dealing with the rats, I went to the well. I was parched. The well had a bucket tethered to a wound up chain. The chain was completely rusted to the point of being an orange welded mass.
So much for a drink of water.I went over to the corpse. It was little more than a clad skeleton. Any gore from decomposition had turned to dust ages ago. I grabbed the leather cuirass and shook the bones and dust from it. This was going to be better than what I was wearing, and maybe I wouldn’t appear to be a prisoner to any guards I might encounter. Under the corpse laid a quiver with arrows. I picked it up and slung it over my shoulder. There had to be a bow. I looked around and there it was, next to a leather shield. When I picked the bow up, I held it out straight with my left arm. I drew an arrow from the quiver, nocked it, drew the bowstring to my check and let the arrow fly. It didn’t make it half way to the well. Frowning, I stood the bow on end and applied pressure to release the bowstring. I shortened it by a couple inches, replaced it, and repeated the same motions again. This time the arrow flew true and hit dead center of the bucket with a satisfying THUNK.
How on earth did I know how to do all that?As I adjusted all of my newly found equipment, I felt or heard metallic sounds from a pocket on the cuirass. I reached in and found several lock picks. I have no idea how I knew what they were, but I knew as sure as I was breathing. There was a chest near the corpse. Looking closer, I noticed a lock pick sticking out of the lock. I knelt by the chest, lowering my head so I could hear the tumblers, and started working the pick. Back and forth, up and down, and…click! I opened the chest to find some gold coins and the biggest sapphire I had ever seen.
WHY DO I KNOW HOW TO DO ALL OF THIS?I shuddered. This situation was beyond comprehension. I know things I have no reason to know. I can read things written in characters I have never seen. I am so small. Rats were easy, but what if something bigger comes along?
Keep moving.I stood up and continued on my surreal journey. At the other end of the chamber was a door and something lying near it. I crept forward until I could be sure it was dead. It was one of the ugliest things I had ever seen. It was humanoid, a little shorter than me if it was standing. Its face was frozen in a contorted snarl for eternity. It was a goblin, the part of me that knows what I’m not supposed to know told me instantly.
Keep moving.I went to the door. Locked! The door was made of a heavy enough wood that I could hack it until the cows came home, or the guards showed up, and it would barely show a scratch. I turned and leaned my back against the door and pushed as hard as I could. Nothing. I was facing the goblin. It was clad in a loin cloth and leather vest. Something metallic glinted in the breast pocket. I moved closer and pulled the key from its pocket. Am I that lucky? I placed the key in its home and turned, grinning as the tumblers tumbled and the lock released. Fortune smiles on the foolish, I thought with a chuckle. Maybe the guard was right when he said it was my lucky day. But what was on the other side?
More rats. My frustration at encountering more of the over-sized vermin was uttered in what sounded like a foreigner belching with a mouth full of marbles. As I made this odd noise, my right arm came up and pointed at the charging rat. Instantly a ball of fire shot from my hand and hit the rat in the face. It flew backward about four feet, landing dead and cooked.
What did I say? I said “fire”. How? Keep moving.I continued forward and rounded a corner to see three more rats. Two were charging at me and a third seemed occupied with something around the next corner. I made the strange noise again with the same rat roasting results. I grinned when I realized there would be no more torchlight cooking. These babies were ready to go. I started to chuckle again when a new sound came from around the corner. I looked up from picking up the second roasted morsel to see a rotting corpse walking toward me. I jumped up and retreated several steps. Will the fireball work on this thing too? I shot one at it. Not the same as roasting rats. It kept coming. Fear seized me. This was the first thing that had not died quickly at my hand. I didn’t know whether to draw sword, nock arrow, or keep trying to cook it. I decided on one more shot of the fire before I retreated further. I worked! The corpse was once again an inanimate one, albeit smoking now. A relieved grin sprang out on my face, although I was still shaking from fear.
What kind of place is this where rotting corpses come after you? Zombies. Keep moving.Beyond the passage where the zombie met his fiery demise was another chamber. It came with the usual number of rats. I sincerely hope that the places where normal people live have cats as well, and that these vermin are down here hiding from them. But this room came with an unexpected treasure. Food! How fresh food made it here I have no clue, and I don’t care. There was cheese, lettuce, and a tomato that I ate right on the spot. I had tossed away the raw rat meat, replacing it with cut portions of the rats that I had fried. There was another skeleton here, but this one was clad with armor that was made from iron plates. The cuirass alone weighed thirty pounds if it weighed an ounce. The greaves fit without causing too much restriction to my mobility, although they were definitely over-sized. Better than getting my shins and thighs wounded further. The rat bites I had already sustained were tender and swelling.
A thought hit me like a boulder. I opened my shirt-bag and grabbed the bottle that said “Heal”. I hesitated for only a moment. I opened the bottle and upended the contents into my mouth. It tasted sweet, like blueberries and grapes with a hint of peaches. An indescribable feeling washed over me. It was health, as if you could grab or taste pure health. Tangible health soaked through every part of my body. I laughed out loud at the sensation, and then stifled it as quickly, listening to my laughter reverberating around the chamber and down the passageways.
Keep moving.I was beginning to wonder if these passages would ever end. The tunnels had lost their stone block sides in favor of raw stone, hewn by hands ages ago. I reached yet another wooden door. When I passed through it, the atmosphere changed. There was a faint sound of wind passing through the passages. Stalactites and stalagmites were visible in the dim lighting. I relit the torch to get a better view. Having the torch lit made me nervous. Could zombies see? I proceeded forward for several yards and quickly doused the torch after I heard a guttural sound from around the next bend. As I crept forward and reached the bend, I saw another goblin. This one was quite alive. He was standing by a fire, rotating a rat on a spit over the flames. Slowly, I raised my bow and nocked an arrow. In an instant, the arrow struck the goblin between the shoulder blades. I am pretty sure it must have injured it, but I am positive it became angry. It let out a screech, turned and bolted straight for me. I had just enough time to nock another arrow and let it fly. The arrow hit the creature right between the eyes and sent it backward to land next to the fire.
Letting out an exhale of relief, I walked over to the creature. It looked like the other one. It had a make-shift helmet made from a ram’s skull with the horns intact. A rudimentary cuirass made of bones and a loin cloth. Its skin was greenish grey and rough in appearance. Any remorse at killing what was obviously a somewhat intelligent creature was lost in the memory that it had meant to kill me. I would have to remain cautious as I moved along because where there was one of these creatures, they would probably be more.
There was a wooden stool next to a crate. On the crate were a mortar and pestle, some mushrooms, and a green bottle. The bottle had something scratched into the surface, but I was unable to discern what it meant. I was very thirsty, so I uncorked it and sniffed the opening. I recoiled immediately. It smelled like I had opened a crypt where the coffins had been left open. Perhaps it was some kind of poison. Looking at the mortar and pestle, and then at the mushrooms, that inner knowledge that has been with me since I awoke in the cell led me to place the mushrooms in the pestle and crush them together with the mortar. Instantly, the fungi congealed into a gelatinous mass that quickly liquefied. It smelled the same as what was in the green bottle. Glancing around, I located another bottle and poured the contents of the pestle into it.
Okay, now I don’t care how I know all of this. I want to see the sky. There might be more goblins. Keep moving.Progressing through the cave, it wasn’t long before I realized the truth of that thought. I entered a room that had a torch burning in it. While searching a chest, I noticed a couple apples on the ground near a smashed barrel. I moved over to retrieve them and heard goblins screech and start running up an inclined passageway. I spun to face them and ducked behind a pile of logs to avoid arrows that were whizzing past my head. The logs shifted as I leaned against them and started rolling down the passage. When the noise stopped and the dust cleared, there were two dead goblins intertwined with the jumbled logs at the bottom of the incline.
I hope this luck can last. Keep moving.It was becoming increasingly difficult to lug all of the items I had found. This trek seemed to go on forever and fatigue was starting to weigh on me. I entered a large chamber that had several fires burning. There was a goblin not twelve feet away from me. I dropped the shirt-bag, and fired two arrows in rapid succession. Both hit home in the goblin’s chest. He let out a yelp just before the second arrow sent him tumbling away. I stood motionless to see if the yelp had alerted others. There was no noise to indicate that the goblin’s short warning had been heard. I crept forward and saw a second goblin on the other side of the chamber. I poured some of the poison that I had made onto an arrowhead and fired at the goblin from across the chamber. It barked, turned to run toward me, and fell dead after two steps.
I could see yet another goblin at the far end of the chamber. It was standing in the glow of light that was let in through a hole in the ceiling. I anointed another arrow with poison and dropped the goblin with a single shot. As I moved toward this latest victim, another goblin howled in the pit that made up the center of the chamber. It was up the side and upon me before I could react. I drew the katana while trying to dodge its attacks. The shear ferocity of the creature amazed me as much as its skill with the dagger it was using against me. A final thrust with the katana left it quivering on the blade. It slumped lifelessly to the ground as I withdrew the sword from its chest.
I was bleeding from several wounds. I raised my right hand and muttered another, different, of those marble-mouthed words. That same feeling of swimming in tangible health from the potion washed over me, but not as strongly. I repeated the sound a couple more times. I examined my wounds after the third utterance and was amazed to see that they had closed and the bleeding had stopped. They were still tender to the touch, but healed.
I looked down into the pit that the goblin had climbed out of. There was a caged area with several rats in it. I have really grown to detest these things. I decided to use them for target practice and dispatched them all with one arrow each. Then I headed to the dead goblin that was lying in the swath of sky light. This one looked different than the others. Its clothing was more ornate. On the ground next to its body was a staff capped with the skull of a goblin. It seemed to give off power. Not visibly, nor audibly. When I picked it up, it felt like the wood it was made of. Nothing felt out of sorts, yet I still had the feeling of power emanating from it. I pointed it toward the far end of the chamber and spoke some more mush-mouthed gibberish. Lightning shot from the end of the staff and slammed into the far wall of the chamber with the sound of a thunderclap. I jumped and dropped the staff.
This is really crazy! Keep moving!I picked up the staff again. The weight of everything I was carrying had become too great to manage, so I inventoried what I had and left some items I thought were less important behind. I reached the continuation of the passages and pressed forward, coming to yet another wooden door. What was I going to find beyond this one? Rats, goblins, and zombies were quite enough for me. I hoped that this might be the last door, and that I would see sunlight at the end of the tunnel. I hoped…
Posted by: mALX Jan 25 2011, 11:41 PM
A great start !! I like the little details you've added to this to personalize it (like for instance, seeing the lockpick and listening for the tumblers to click - great detail !!!)
Can you put a link to your story on the "other site" into your signature?
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 25 2011, 11:43 PM
Chapter 1.2 – Out of the cell
I can’t believe my eyes. Is that sunlight? Am I breathing cleaner air?
I opened the grated exit, surprised to find that it had no lock. Three steps later I was standing in open air. My lungs couldn’t inhale deeply enough. I just stood there, head craned toward the sky with my eyes closed and took in the fresh air. Lowering my head, I looked at the lake in front of me. The water looked almost black in the gloaming. But that didn’t stop me. I hastily dropped my belongings and dashed the last steps across the beach, diving headlong into the water. It felt sooooooo good! I stayed in water shallow enough to stand in. It would do no good to escape and then drown because I was dragged to the bottom by iron greaves. I submerged my head and sucked water into my mouth and swallowed. Instant relief. I was so thirsty that I wanted to drink down the entire lake. I had not had anything to drink but some potion since I awoke.
I walked back out of the water and looked around. The sun had almost completely set. There was an old wooden dock jutting into the lake a few feet away. Across the water was a ruined building, or buildings, of some kind. The architecture was amazing. Large stone arches, some of which were still completely intact, glowed orange in the light of the sunset. I turned around and faced the grated entrance to that rat infested jumble of underground passages. I hope I don’t have to go underground again anytime soon…if ever. Behind the entrance, the land rose abruptly. From where I was standing, I couldn’t see far beyond the entrance because of the grade and trees. I decided to walk out on the dock for a better view in that direction. I reached the end of the dock, turned, and was afforded a view of even more trees up the side of the hill. I sat down on a crate at the end of the dock.
Think! What next?
Tamriel? Jauffre? Amulet? Emperor?
The words poured and repeated themselves through my mind.
Weynon Priory? Chorrol? Blades? I had pulled it off. They didn’t kill me. THINK!
* * *
After creeping through what had seemed like endless leagues of tunnels, I had encountered the elderly man and his guards again. They were still being harried by figures in shimmering dark armor. Only this time, I got sucked into the fighting as well. I held my own, even though it was a small share. The guards turned on me and had been ready to kill me. But Uriel Septim had stopped them. I can’t get used to the idea that I have an “Emperor”. He said something about the guards not seeing what he had seen or some such. He asked me questions about myself that I could not answer.
Who am I? Where am I? WHAT am I? Stop it. THINK!We made our way yet deeper into the basements. Finally, after a couple more skirmishes with assassins, we reached a dead end. Glenroy, one of the guards, suspected that it was a trap. He was right. Once again, dark armored assailants were attacking us. Suddenly, the Emperor turned and spoke to me again. He had said that he could go no further. He gave me a necklace with an incredibly large red stone. He called it “The Amulet of Kings”. He told me to take it to someone named Jauffre. Apparently this Jauffre fellow was the only one that knew of his last living son. He had no sooner finished his speech with the phrase, “…close shut the jaws of oblivion”, when another dark armored figure came through a panel in the wall behind him. The assailant slit the old man’s throat in a blindingly quick flash of steel and blood. The attacker wheeled on me and I barely had time to draw and get my blade up to prevent a similar fate. I don’t know how I survived that battle. My movements were completely instinctual. I was acting before thinking about it. And a good thing too, since I am alive.
When the fight was over, I dropped to my knees and quickly fumbled through my shirt/satchel for more of the healing potion. I was bleeding badly from several gashes in my arm and side. After draining two of the small rose colored bottles, I stood up to find Baurus standing over the slain ruler.
“We failed! I failed!” he said.
He went on for a minute about how The Blades had failed their Emperor, and then grabbed me by the shoulders.
“The Amulet of Kings! Where is it? It wasn’t on The Emperor’s body!”
I told him about The Emperor giving it to me and telling me to take it to this Jauffre fellow. Baurus went on about the Emperor trusting me and seeing something in me. He gave me a key and directions out of the underworld I had been stuck in since awakening on the cell floor. He told me where to find Jauffre and to get the Amulet of Kings there as soon as possible. Unfortunately, he also relieved me of Captain Renault’s katana. But that’s okay. I pulled it off. I was alive. I was free. I thought sure I would end up back in the cell when I met up with the guards again. They never even asked me my name!
* * *
My name…THINK!So there I sat, on a crate at the end of a dock and I couldn’t have been more lost. I was just thankful to be out of that hellhole and alive.
Goblins? Zombies? The Nine?I got up from the crate and walked back to the shore. Kneeling at the water’s edge, I looked at my reflection in the water. Perhaps I could get a clue to my identity by looking at my face. My skin had a slight yellowish hue, very slight. Long pointed ears framed either side of a face that appeared to be in its early thirties. Hazel eyes and an unassuming nose. Eyebrows slightly arched. I stood up and looked at my body closely for the first time. I couldn’t be more than about five feet tall. Everything looked proportionately correct.
At least THAT much looks normal, just too small.What had the other prisoner said? “Wood elf”? I didn’t look like anyone I have met so far. The fact that the prisoner had called me one leads me to believe that a wood elf is recognizable as such, and perhaps not uncommon. Hopefully wood elves are held in high regard amongst the other races. Except for that prisoner, everyone else looked completely normal. Not counting goblins and zombies, of course. The fact that I am so much smaller could be a hazard. It had almost cost me my life already. The memory of the battle wounds I received in the room where the old man was slain made me wince.
I inventoried what I had brought out of that stink hole. A few more bottles of that amazing healing potion. Some gems, gold coins, lock picks, a hammer. My quiver was crammed full of iron arrows, almost to the breaking point. I was wearing a leather armor cuirass with a sizeable gash in its side, thanks to the old man’s murderer. What animal the leather is made from, I couldn’t tell you. But it is pretty tough. A pair of greaves covered with iron plates. The greaves are way too big and uncomfortable.
Better than the helmet…I had found an iron helmet back in the passages. I tried to put it on, but my ears wouldn’t allow it, so I didn’t bother bringing it. I have some rough leather boots. Wrist irons which look like they are going to be awfully hard to remove. An iron bow that’s a bit rusty and a double-edged steel short sword. A staff of some kind that will shoot lightning on command. All of this stuff was heavy, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to carry it over a long distance.
I am sooooooo tired…I considered lying down on the dock and sleeping. Hearing a wolf howl in the distance squelched that idea in a hurry. It also motivated me as I realized that the sun had set while I sat there and mused. I gathered my belongings and started up the hill. When I reached a break in the trees I stopped and stared in awe at the tallest tower I had ever seen. There were two other towers visible, but not nearly as tall. Massive stone walls surrounded these towers. The wolf howled again, closer this time. It appeared that there was an old and disused switchback pathway up the hill. My fatigue forced me to opt for the shallower slope of the old path rather than the steeper direct route. Another howl, closer yet. I drew my sword and kept a watchful eye. I did almost a complete about-face as the switchback rounded back on itself to continue up the hill. At that moment, a snarling mass of grey fur and gnashing teeth knocked me on my back, its momentum causing it to somersault past me. I sprang to my feet and spun on my heels, holding the sword in front of me. The wolf sprang again. Unfortunately for the wolf, but very fortunate for me, it landed chest first on the point of my sword. With a loud yelp that seemed to be cut off in mid utterance, we tumbled backward. It all happened so fast. One second a flash of fur and teeth, the next I was lying next to a dead wolf, its tongue hanging out and my sword buried to the hilt in its chest.
This whole place is trying to kill me!I collected my belongings and scrambled as fast as my tired legs would carry me up the rest of the hill. When the terrain leveled out, I found myself at the base of a massive, curved stone masonry wall. I decided to continue along the wall in the same direction I had been heading. Plodding forward, following the wall that kept curving to my right, I reached a bridge. Large cauldrons of flame lit the far end. The end I had approached led to a wooden gate with a sign that read “Imperial Prison District”, written in those same characters that I could not decipher, but knew the meaning of anyway. I knew that wasn’t where I wanted to go, so I set out across the bridge. It was massive and made entirely of stone. Six people could walk side by side and not bump elbows. When I reached the wooden gates at the other end of the bridge, there was another sign. The sign read “Market District”.
I paused for a moment. I had managed to make it this far on mostly pure luck. Going through this door could change all that. But what other options did I have? I needed a place of safety where I could slow down and consider all of the ramifications of my current dilemma. Inside these walls should be safer than out here, but who or what would I encounter on the other side? The better seemed to outweigh the worse, so I made the choice to enter the Market District.
When I passed through the gate, I was surprised to find the street empty. Fortune was still smiling on me. I didn’t want to have to try and explain who I was or what I was doing. I didn’t have those answers. As I continued into the district, I began notice people walking about. I saw one fellow that was a walking reptile! I didn’t tarry to gain more details, but walked quickly in the other direction. Another person, wearing a long skirt and blouse was walking toward me. Just as she was about to go by, she stopped and said, “Hi there”. That didn’t surprise me as much as the fact that her head looked like a cats head! Her voice was deep for a woman, almost a growl.
Cats and lizards?“Hello” I said and continued walking. So far, so good. No one yelling for a guard or trying to stop me and press me for information. I saw a sign that said “Merchants Inn”. An inn…bed, food, safety. I made for the door and entered the inn. The common room was filled with people. The sudden number of possible encounters gave me pause to continue inward. Some of the people were alone. Others were in groups of two or three. Some were eating at tables. Others were drinking at the bar. The aroma of cooked food and pipe smoke filled the air. The low toned conversations were comingled in a steady murmur, with an occasional laugh breaking through the drone. Steeling myself, I walked up to the publican at the bar.
“Hello. What can I do for you?” he asked.
“I’m looking for a place to sleep tonight,” I replied. “And something to eat.”
“I do have a bed available for twenty gold a night. Would you like to rent it?”
The innkeeper gave me a puzzled look as I tried to count gold coins in my shirt/satchel. I dug out twenty of coins I had found in the underground, hoping that each coin was indeed worth one “gold”. I placed them on the bar and shoved them toward the innkeeper.
“I’ll take it,” I said matter-of-factly.
The innkeeper still looked at me with that puzzled look, and then counted the coins as he slid them off the bar and into his hand.
“16…18…20. Very well then. It’s up the stairs there. First door on your left. Sleep well,” he said and started to turn away.
“Excuse me. I was hoping to get a bit to eat as well,” I reminded the man.
He stopped, turn toward me with the puzzled look again and said, “All rooms come with a meal at The Merchant’s Inn. You will find venison, corn, potatoes, and bread in your room, along with a few bottles of libation. My name is Velus Hosidius. I am the proprietor of this establishment. Let me know if you need anything else.”
With that, Velus turned away and placed the gold coins in a strongbox behind the bar. I made my way to the stairs. As I walked, I caught bits and pieces of conversations.
“The Emperor and all his sons, dead!”
“…see Maro Rufus at the Best Defense.”
I ascended the stairs and passed through a door into the second floor hallway. I reached the first door on the left, opened it, and entered the room. True to the innkeepers promise, food and bottles adorned the table to my left. But straight ahead of me was a bed. A bed! I disrobed immediately, piling my clothing and belongings at the foot of the bed. I walked to the wash basin and cleaned up as best I could. Drying off with the clean towel from next to the basin, I eyed the food. It smelled delicious. I sat at the table and ate until I thought I would burst. Sated and exhausted, I got up and got into bed. I didn’t have time to think of anything before I was sound asleep.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 25 2011, 11:46 PM
QUOTE(mALX @ Jan 25 2011, 04:41 PM)

A great start !! I like the little details you've added to this to personalize it (like for instance, seeing the lockpick and listening for the tumblers to click - great detail !!!)
Can you put a link to your story on the "other site" into your signature?
It is the same story. I am editing (improving?) it as we speak. I sould have the rest of it uploaded here before the end of the night. And thank you for the compliment.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 26 2011, 12:37 AM
Chapter 2.1 – Finding My Way
I have no idea how long I slept. I opened my bedcovers and sat up. Before I stood up, I examined all of the wounds I had received the day before. There were scars from blade strikes and rat bites on my arms and legs. A particularly tender scar on my right side. But all the wounds had healed. Memories of potions and incantations and tangible health flooded my head. On the tails of those, memories of assassins, goblins, and rats closely followed. I had to get a handle on this situation. I still have no memory of anything at all before waking up in that cell. This was going to be a problem. It was one thing to walk into a crowded inn and procure a bed for the night. It was going to be quite another to move forward from here. I sat on the bed and thought about my dilemma.
Think of what you know. You are a Wood Elf, according to the only person that would identify you. You are at an inn. You are in an area known as the Market District, which is part of an even larger city. You have some money. You have a necklace with a large red stone that someone claiming to be your Emperor has given you charge over. You see writing on signs and bottles that are of an unknown set of characters. But you can still read them. You have the ability to incant powers, from within yourself and through at least one staff, by speaking words that sound like gibberish. But you know the meaning of the words. You can use a bow and sword as if you have been doing it all your life.
Can dreams last for days?
I stood up and went to the table. There was still food left from the night before. I sat down and began eating as I considered my options. I had two…stay here or not stay here. Staying meant paying twenty gold pieces a night until I ran out of money. Not staying meant interacting with the residents of this city and possibly revealing how vulnerable my current position was. I frowned at the thought of not even being able to introduce myself, or answer a simple question like what my name was. I finished eating, stood and dressed, grabbed my belongings…and sat back down on the bed. I needed a plan.
I could go out and just try to remain unnoticed, studying the people and actions around me. Figure out how to blend in that way. Yes! That was the plan.
I left the room and went downstairs. The common room was quiet. Only the innkeeper was there, wiping down the bar with a clean towel. He looked my way but said nothing as I walked toward the door. When I stepped outside, I was face to face with a man in dull brownish armor. We stared at each other for a minute, neither of us moving.
“What is it citizen?” he said.
I just stared back at him, dumbstruck. His expression began to change and I knew I better say something fast.
“I have some things I want to sell,” I blurted. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
So much for unnoticed...
“Well, you’re in the right place then, eh Bosmer? Just look around. Shops everywhere. You might want to buy some proper clothes with the money you make. Those look like they came from a grave. Heh, heh, heh.”
Bosmer? Did this man know me? Was my name Bosmer?
With that, he walked away, still laughing. He must have been a guard, armored and armed as he was. I looked at myself. The guard was right. These articles still smelled, even after my dip in the lake. I stepped into the street and looked at the shop sign that was closest to me. “A Fighting Chance” it said, with a picture of a sword beneath the writing. I walked to the door and tried the latch. It was unlocked and I entered. All around were swords, daggers, and archery equipment. A stout woman wearing a metal breastplate stood behind the counter.
"Welcome to 'A Fighting Chance'. I'm Rohssan, proprietor. I sell the best swords in the City, and I offer Advanced Training for Armorers," she said.
I walked toward the counter. She was dark of complexion, muscled with obvious years of work with metal. At one time, she may have been pretty. The plan was to watch other people and mimic their actions. Unfortunately, she and I were the only ones there. I would have to wing it.
“Do you buy iron arrows?” I inquired.
Chuckling, she said, “Of course I do Bosmer! I’ll buy any weapon you have for the right price. And I do mean it will be the right price. Let’s look at those arrows.”
Bosmer again. Does everyone here know me?
I pulled my quiver over my shoulder and dumped all of the arrows on the counter.
“I’d like to keep 30 of these, but I’ll sell you as many of the rest as you want,” I said, trying to sound like I knew what I was doing.
“Well then,” she said, “let’s say you count out 30 of those and return them to your quiver while I examine the quality of these arrows, hmmm?”
I did as she said while she examined one of the arrows, looking down its shaft for straightness, feeling the fletching, gauging the weight of it by feel.
“I’ll give you one gold piece each for the lot. That is the right price.”
“It’s a deal,” I said.
She carried the arrows off and left me standing at the counter. I glanced around at the weapons she had on display. There was a very nice iron longsword lying on the counter, along with an impossibly large steel sword, and an iron shortsword. Rohssan returned and tossed a small pouch on the counter with a clink.
“It’s all there,” she said, “You can count it if you like.”
“That’s okay. I’ll trust you. How much does a sword like this go for?” I asked, gesturing toward the fine iron longsword.
“For that sword I’ll take back that pouch and a bit more, Bosmer.”
I frowned. I didn’t want to spend everything in the first shop I entered.
“Maybe I’ll come back later for that,” I said. My next question was a risk.
“Say, do you think you could remove these?” I asked holding up my wrists and exposing the irons clamped over them.
“You wouldn’t be the first parolee that I released from a pair of those.” She chuckled. “Step on back here.”
I walked around the counter while she picked up a chisel and a large one-handed sledge.
“Put your wrist on the counter,” she ordered.
No sooner was it on the counter than she placed the chisel between the cuff halves where they were pinned together and brought the sledge head down on it with a high arched swing. Visions of a horribly crushed wrist flashed briefly before my eyes. But it wasn’t to be. She deftly snapped all four pins in mere moments.
“There ya go Bosmer, free as a bird,” she said with a laugh, “Will there be anything else?”
“I think that will do it. Thank you very much,” I said, and smiled genuinely at her as I grabbed my quiver and left the store.
Well that wasn’t so bad. Let’s see what else I can sell.
I had a small collection of gems. There was a sign across the street that read “Red Diamond Jewelry”. Shrugging, I walked over to the jeweler’s shop, digging the gems out along the way. There was a stocky, pale skinned man behind the counter at the far end of the shop. I figured I’d play it the same way as the last shop. Expecting the same type of greeting, I strolled casually up to the counter.
“What?” was all the man said in a gruff tone.
“How much will you give me for these, my good man?” I said, trying my best to sound worldly as I placed the gems on the counter.
He just stared back for a moment, and then started perusing through the stones. He held the clearer ones up to the light and looked through them.
“Not the highest quality here. Many of these stones are flawed,” he said, pausing and tapping his forefinger to his chin.
“Tell ya what. I’ll give you 76 Septims for the entire pile. That offer is non-negotiable.”
I hope a septim is a gold piece.
“Deal.”
I continued this course of action at every shop that looked like it dealt in the goods I was carrying around in my shirt-bag. Some of the shop owners complained about a shop owner named Thoronir. I didn’t bother asking what their beef with the man was. I was too busy just trying to get in and out of these shops as quickly as I could. I found one shop called “The Best Defense”. The proprietor, a gentleman by the name of Maro Rufus, told me I hadn’t found him a moment too soon when he saw my armor. When I left his shop, I was had a brand spanking new leather cuirass, some new boots, and greaves made from fur pelts that were infinitely more comfortable than the over-sized iron pair I had walked in with. “The Gilded Carafe” bought all of my potions, except for the healing potions. I kept those. A place called “Rindir’s Staffs” was my next port of call. I walked in the door, and for the first time, I saw someone that looked like me.
“Hail fellow Bosmer! This is ‘Rindir’s Staffs’, and I’m Rindir. I sell magical staffs. Imagine that.”
Fellow Bosmer? So much for the chance that Bosmer was my name.
“Hail Bosmer,” I replied in kind, thinking it must be the right thing to say, “I found this staff and wondered if you might be interested in buying it. It shoots lightning out of the end of it. Well, you have to say a word first.”
I started to utter that gibberish sounding word –
“STOP!” he yelled, “We don’t want that thing going off in here now do we? Let me see it.”
He studied the staff for a minute.
“258 Septims,” he stated.
My jaw dropped. It was more than everything else I had sold combined.
“Do you think it is worth more than that?” he asked.
I closed my mouth with a snap and then said, “No. That will be fine.”
“Great! I’ll be right back.”
Rindir scurried off and returned with a small chest. He counted out my 258 gold pieces, thanked me and bid me a good day. As I walked out of Rindir’s shop, I stopped for a minute and looked at the people walking up and down the street. Very few of them were wearing armor. The guards were of course, but most of the common folk were dressed in clothing rather than armor. If I was going to fit in, I would need to dress accordingly. I found a shop called “Divine Elegance” that had just what I needed. Most of Palonyria’s goods were very fancy, fancier than I cared to wear. I wanted to blend in, not stand out. I settled on a brown quilted doublet, some linen pants, and a pair of moccasins.
I headed back to the inn. I was hungry and I wanted to change into my new clothes. When I entered, the innkeeper informed me that it would be another 20 gold to keep my room. I paid him the 20 and 5 more for his service. His demeanor immediately changed and he asked if I was hungry. After a delicious shepherd’s pie and a bottle of ale, I went up to my room and changed.
So far so good. Let’s go see about that sword.
As I left my room, I saw a book lying on a shelf in the hallway. Curious, I walked over and picked it up. “A Guide to Imperial City” was the title. I knew that I was in Imperial City from my visit to Rindir’s shop. Being a fellow Bosmer had caused Rindir to be a little chatty. This was perfect! Exactly what I needed. I went back in my room, kicked off my moccasins, and reclined on the bed to read.
The book was written by someone named Alessia Ottus. According to this, the man I had seen murdered in the underground was indeed this land’s Emperor. He was descended from someone named Tiber Septim, whom she also calls Lord Talos, “The Holy God of State and Law in our Blessed Nine Divines.” I paused for a minute. If the elderly man was The Emperor, then I needed to get rid of this necklace, this “Amulet of Kings”, before someone discovers that I have it and assumes I was responsible for the Emperor’s death. But information is valuable, especially for me right now, so I continued to read.
It seems that Imperial City is quite large. There were ten districts in all, of which I had seen only one. Well, that was not entirely true. I had seen the Imperial Prison District, albeit from inside an eight by twelve cell. I read on, trying to stifle that memory. This author doesn’t think very highly of any part of this city except for the Temple District, where she lives with her husband. The only other district she has anything nice to say about is the Arboretum. And even then, she complains about Talos taking up space where Akatosh should be. Every other district she describes as dirty and a place not to be. The guide ended with the line, “May the Nine bless you and keep you.”
The Nine.
Religion is a powerful force. It binds people together that might not be bound otherwise. “The Nine” was obviously a reference to The Nine Divines that she spoke of. Evidently, the religion of this land is centered on these Nine Divines, be they Gods or Saints. A good way for me to fit in around here would be to become better acquainted with this faith. But first things first. There was a particular sword that I wanted to buy, and I have to get rid of this amulet. As I closed the book, I noticed a folded sheet of parchment wedged into the jacket of the book cover. I removed it and unfolded it. It was a map. Roughly in the center was Imperial City, with the districts labeled. Directly on the spot labeled as The Market District was a point of light, as if a beam of sunlight was shining on it through a knot hole in a barn wall, only smaller. I rubbed the spot, moved the map, even shook it, but the highlight remained.
How odd.
More important to me was the fact that this map showed another location. Just north of due west from Imperial City was the place Baurus had mentioned. Chorrol. Jauffre was near Chorrol, at a place called Weynon Priory. I could not tell how far away Chorrol was as the map had no scale. I folded the map and placed it in my pocket. I was formulating a plan of action as I moved. Having resigned myself to the fact that I was stuck in this strange place, I decided that continuing to try to blend in and find my way around was best. First, I would pay “A Fighting Chance” another visit to procure that sword. If I had learned nothing else about this place, it was that being armed was beneficial to one’s health, and survival. Then I would try to get rid of this amulet, even if it meant journeying to Chorrol to do it.
Posted by: mALX Jan 26 2011, 01:17 AM
QUOTE(TheOtherRick @ Jan 25 2011, 05:46 PM)

QUOTE(mALX @ Jan 25 2011, 04:41 PM)

A great start !! I like the little details you've added to this to personalize it (like for instance, seeing the lockpick and listening for the tumblers to click - great detail !!!)
Can you put a link to your story on the "other site" into your signature?
It is the same story. I am editing (improving?) it as we speak.
I should have the rest of it uploaded here before the end of the night. And thank you for the compliment.
GAAAAAH!!!

** mALX was found dead in front of her PC **
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 26 2011, 01:19 AM
Chapter 2.2 – Finding My Way
I replaced the book on the shelf in the hallway where I had found it. It wasn’t mine after all, and I didn’t need to be accused of stealing it. Hopefully no one would notice that I had kept the map. I headed down stairs and out to the street. The afternoon sun was lowering in the western sky and was starting to give an orange cast to the buildings. I went to the weapon shop. Rohssan greeted me with a smile when I walked in. I went straight to the counter.
“I am back to purchase this sword. How much did you say it was?” I said, lifting the fine iron longsword.
“That will cost you 126 Septims.”
“I’ll take it.”
I counted the gold coins onto the counter, keeping it in stacks of ten so I wouldn’t lose count. When I finished, she held the end of her blacksmith’s apron up and dragged the pile toward her with her other arm. The coins cascaded over the edge of the counter into her apron.
“Thank you very much. I think you will find that an excellent weapon, if you take care of it. You do know how to take care of it, don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” I lied, “But perhaps you know techniques that I am unaware of. Could you show me what you know?”
“Teaching ain’t free, Bosmer, but I’ll show you a thing or two for, let’s say, fifty gold. What do you say?”
Reluctantly, I agreed and paid her fifty more gold pieces. She picked up an old rusty sword and showed me some general repair techniques, including how to use what she called a “repair hammer”. As luck would have it, I had found one of these hammers back in the underground and had not sold it yet.
“You will get better at it with practice.” She said, “To keep that sword in good condition, always make sure you are carrying a few repair hammers with you. I see that you have but one. Would you care to buy a few more? I have plenty.”
She showed me a case of them and said they cost 31 Septims each. I looked at my dwindling supply of cash and decided against it. She shrugged and said, “Suit yourself. Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do. Good day, Bosmer.”
I clipped the scabbard to my belt, thanked Rohssan, and left the shop. When I got outside, I pulled the sword from its scabbard, swung it a few times in a figure eight motion and acted out a couple of thrusts.
“Don’t hurt yourself with that thing, Bosmer,” A guard said as he passed behind me. Then he laughed heartily and continued on his patrol. Embarrassed, I resheathed the sword and started walking. I remembered seeing a book store earlier and set out to find it. Perhaps it would have a copy of the book I had read. When I reached the four way intersection in the center of the district, I glanced to my left and there it was. “The First Edition” the sign read. Across the street from it was another shop called “The Copious Coinpurse”. With such an interesting name, I decided to check out that shop first.
I entered the shop and was delighted to find that this shop was also owned by a Wood Elf. He was only the second one I had seen, though he did not seem to notice me. As I walked to the counter, I noticed an inscription on it. “Copious Coinpurse. The shop where your purse is just as full after you buy!" it read. The Wood Elf was studying what appeared to by an inventory sheet of some kind. I cleared my throat to get his attention.
“Well hello there. Thoronir is the name. What kind of deal can I make for you today?” he said with a smile that appeared less than genuine.
“I am trying to find a copy of ‘A Guide to the Imperial City’. You wouldn’t by chance have one, would you?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. It can be yours for the low, low price of 2 pieces of gold.”
“That does sound like a bargain. I’ll take it, thank you,” I replied. This would save me from having to go to the book store.
Thoronir walked over to a shelf along the wall filled with books. He thumbed through them for a moment, mumbling to himself as he searched.
“Ah. Here it is,” he said, pulling an exact replica of the book I had read earlier from the shelf. When he returned to the counter, I asked if he was familiar with the area outside of the city walls.
“I don’t get out of the city much, but I do know a little. Why?”
“I need to get to Chorrol, but I am from far away and do not know anything about this area,” I replied with a partial truth.
“Here from Valenwood are you?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“Yes. Valenwood. That’s right," I agreed with a lie, "Can you help me?”
Please don’t ask me any questions about Valenwood.
“Ah, Valenwood,” he paused and sighed, “I really must get there one day.”
I tensed, preparing to lie on the fly when he pressed me about Valenwood. He shook his head slightly as if to regain focus on the moment.
“Yes, Chorrol,” he continued, “There are four ways to get to Chorrol. You can walk. You can buy a horse and ride. You can procure transportation by horse drawn coach at Chestnut Handy Stables. The fourth method is probably not available to you, unless you happen to be a mage.” He paused. “Are you a mage?”
“No.”
“Then I won’t bother with telling you about the portals at the Mage’s Guild Halls,” he said.
“Where might Chestnut Handy Stables be located?” I asked.
“It’s right outside the city’s main gate, on the west side, through the Talos Plaza District.”
He gave me directions to the west gate. I gave him the two gold pieces and an extra one for his help regarding Chorrol.
“Thanks. I’ll try not to spend it in one place. Come back again,” he said with a touch of unmistakable sarcasm.
The sun had set while I was in The Copious Coinpurse. A waxing moon had risen and was trying to add its light to that of the street lamps. I made two more quick stops before heading back to the inn for a meal. “Three Brothers Trade Goods” to purchase a proper satchel and a return to Rindir’s because I had noticed that he had a variety of hoods to sell. I settled on a teal colored one that Rindir called a mages hood. It was very light and comfortable, much more so than the fur helmet I had bought from Maro Rufus. My tasks completed, I started walking back to the inn. I planned on getting an early start for Chorrol in the morning. The common room at the inn was starting to fill with dinner customers as I entered. I ordered some mutton and radish pie and a bottle of ale. I sat in the corner, not feeling confident enough yet to mingle with the other patrons.
When I finished eating, I sat back and enjoyed my bottle of ale. It was very refreshing on the heels of what I considered to be a successful day. I still didn’t know who I was, but I had managed to keep everyone else from finding out as well. Pouring the last of the ale down my throat, I rose, tipped the kitchen helper a gold piece as he cleared my table, and went up to my room. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day of travel and new places.
* * *
I had dressed in my armor, quiver slung over my left shoulder and bow snugged in behind it. My sword hung in its scabbard on my left side, clipped to the harness of my cuirass. I found the easiest way to carry my shield was to just wear it on my left forearm. My satchel was loaded with my clothing, my remaining bottles of healing potion, the repair hammer, a small amount of food, the mortar and pestle, and a couple of torches. A separate pocket inside the satchel held my coin purse and The Amulet of Kings. (Thoronir gave the coin purses away as a promotion for his business.) The satchel strap was over my left shoulder, allowing the bag to hang on my right side. A backpack would have been preferable, but there were none to be found. Still, the satchel held an amazing amount items. With everything loaded, there was room to spare. The two breast pockets of my cuirass held my lock picks in one and my map in the other.
Equipped this way, I walked out of the inn into bright morning sunshine. The air was brisk, and while I could see no frost, my breath came out in steamy puffs that vanished in the breeze as quickly as they formed. Remembering the directions that Thoronir gave me, I made my way toward the Talos Plaza District and the west gate of the city. Upon entering the Imperial Greenway, I was awestruck once again by the sheer size of the tower that rose from the city center. The Imperial Palace, I had learned from Alessia Ottus’ text, was built ages before the current tenants occupied it. How something so old and so tall could remain standing for so long was beyond me.
The Greenway itself was a broad stone walkway that made a complete circle. Inside the circle was the Imperial Palace. Walkways branched out from the Greenway like spokes on a wheel, one going to each of the six districts that made up the outer ring of the city. Between the spokes were six well maintained cemeteries. Thoronir had said to go right at the Greenway and then to follow the second walkway on my right into the Talos Plaza District. Entering the district through large wood and iron gates, it was immediately apparent that this portion of the city housed the wealthiest of its citizens. I only saw one business sign as I passed through the plaza in the district center, The Tiber Septim Hotel. I assumed that the rest of the buildings were residences.
I paused at the city’s west gate. It had taken me most of the morning to walk the distance from the inn to the gate. I stared at it and took a deep breath. I had found the city to be a place of safety after it seemed that this entire land was trying to kill me. But I had to get rid of this amulet. Just possessing it had to be dangerous. I hadn’t dared to let anyone know I had it. A guard looking as if he were about to speak was the last motivation I needed and I left Imperial City.
Outside of the city, the main road started immediately downhill and led to a bridge several score times more massive than the one I had crossed two nights ago. Just a few yards down the road on the right hand side was a cart path that led to what Thoronir told me would be Chestnut Handy Stables. He said to ask for Tappius Velvus, and that I couldn’t miss him because he always wore the most garish blue outfits. I walked toward the stable and saw a man clad in a bright blue velvet blouse and breeches. Garish was an understatement.
“Are you Tappius Velvus?” I asked, even though I already knew this must be him.
“Indeed I am sir,” he replied, and then just stared at me.
“Um, I am looking to hire a coach.”
“Well why didn’t you say so? Where might we be traveling to today?”
“Chorrol,” I said.
“The Black Road it is then. That will be 10 Septims, in advance please. Come on around the side here. You can load your belongings in --- “
“I’d prefer to keep my things with me, if that is okay.”
He looked me up and down for a moment, and then said, “Suit yourself.”
He opened the door to the coach and pulled down a retractable step, then held out his hand expectantly. I shrugged, took his hand and used it for leverage to enter the coach. I didn’t need his help, but it looked like he was offering. I realized I was mistaken when Tappius cleared his throat with his hand still extended.
“Oh,” I nervously chuckled, fishing out ten coins and placing them in his waiting hand, “sorry.”
He nodded and closed the door. Telling the driver that this fare was headed to Chorrol and imploring him not to dawdle, Tappius sent us on our way. As soon as we were on the main road, I heard a whip crack and we jolted forward so fast that I was thrown back in my seat. We were racing at breakneck speed, the staccato clack of the horse’s shoes on the stone settling into a rhythmic thrum. As we reached the bridge, I leaned to look out the window. I had learned from my map that Imperial City was actually located on an island in the middle of a large lake called Lake Rumare. Seeing the city this way from beyond its walls reaffirmed the immense size of it.
The road became much rougher once we were off of the bridge. I had to brace myself to keep from being beaten to death by the walls and ceiling. My head made contact with the roof more than once. The driver maintained this pace for the entire journey. I could swear we rounded curves with the coach being on only two wheels several times. The only time we slowed was when we met other traffic on the road. These were usually guards patrolling on horseback. One woman on a black horse actually passed us! But due to having to brace myself throughout the entire ride, I didn’t get to see much of the countryside. There was an occasional low stone building with a thatched roof. At one point we passed through what appeared to be a round stone building that had no roof. The landscape was forested hills with some pasture land.
We finally began to slow enough for me to look outside again. On our right was another low stone farmhouse with a thatched roof. Then just a little further, we passed what looked like a church and a large manor house with a slate roof. The coach slowed further and I could see a tall stone wall with ramparts and battlements. The coach slowed even more and came to a stop. How far we had traveled I could not gauge due to the insane speed we maintained, combined with the many curves in the road. A neatly dressed gentleman opened the door and lowered the step.
“I hope you had a pleasant journey sir,” the man said as I got out of the coach. My muscles were sore from trying to avoid death by bouncing.
“It was very pleasant,” I lied.
“Just follow the main road there to the south gate. Welcome to Chorrol.”
Posted by: mALX Jan 26 2011, 01:26 AM
I just got a glimpse of where I think you are going with this story - and if so ... IT IS AWESOME !!!!!!!!
WOO HOO !!! If it is what I think it is, I will be on the edge of my seat !!! I thought about doing (what I think you may be doing) - but didn't think I could pull it off - I am so hugely intrigued if you are though !!!
Posted by: mALX Jan 26 2011, 01:40 AM
OMG, you put another chapter up while I was reading that one !!! You may want to consider slowing down posting a bit - like a chapter every two days or so - give the readers time to get to each chapter before posting another.
You may also consider posting a link to your full story (either in your signature or in the "Author's Note") for anyone who wants to (or has time to) read ahead - that way you aren't overwhelming the readers that don't have much free time (like me, lol) - and who want to divide their free time up between many of the other wonderful stories on this site.
PS: Loving what I've seen so far !!!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 26 2011, 02:21 AM
QUOTE(mALX @ Jan 25 2011, 06:40 PM)

OMG, you put another chapter up while I was reading that one !!! You may want to consider slowing down posting a bit - like a chapter every two days or so - give the readers time to get to each chapter before posting another.
You may also consider posting a link to your full story (either in your signature or in the "Author's Note") for anyone who wants to (or has time to) read ahead - that way you aren't overwhelming the readers that don't have much free time (like me, lol) - and who want to divide their free time up between many of the other wonderful stories on this site.
PS: Loving what I've seen so far !!!
I
was going to post up to the point that I have reached with this on the other forum, but I guess it won't hurt to wait a bit like you said. Thank you very much for the compliments on both posts.
As to your previous post, it is actually kind of odd because I
DO know where i am trying to take this. I don't know if it is what you're thinking it is, but like you said, pulling it off will be the challenge. Especially because this is a gameplay narrative. Which is to say I am playing almost exactly what you are reading. Obviously there are some embelishments with conversations, slight artistic license with game mechanics for realism (my satchel), and I am sure some people will recognize some mods I am using. But it is still just a play-by-play of the game.
Posted by: Acadian Jan 26 2011, 04:52 AM
Welcome to Chorrol and to the arena of fan fiction! This is starting out as a very good story that is both clever and well-written!
Prologue and Chapter 1.1:
I have already screwed up. Instead of putting "Authors Note and Disclaimer" in the subject line, it should read "Part One". Is there a way to change that?
You can't, but you might PM a mod with your request - they can.
But starting to read a few has put a flow in my creative juices. (Go Buffy!)
Ok, right off the bat, you've got Buffy and I on your side!
I am posting it here because I would like feedback
The best way to get feedback is to read and comment on the stories of others. It is also a wonderful way to see and enjoy a variety of writing styles.
MY EARS ARE HUGE! WHAT IS GOING ON?
There was no way that armor was going to fit me though. It was way too big.
Buffy was giggling as she read this pair of lines. Get used to it! You're a wood elf!
Wouldn’t one kill me if he saw me in a red robe?
I have considered the same thing and come to the same conclusion. Nice touch!
Chapter 1.2:
Good use of flashbacks. More confusion over who or what our big eared hero is. Out of the prison and into an inn.
Chapter 2.1:
A delightful tour of the Market District, getting rid of those pesky wrist irons and finally the fortunate finding of a guidebook and map.
Bosmer? Did this man know me? Was my name Bosmer?
This was delightful and made perfect sense!
Chapter 2.2:
Ah, acquiring a serviceable weapon, more tour of the city and a brief on the transportation system. And finally, (whew!) we arrive in Chorrol!
One woman on a black horse actually passed us!
Now, everyone knows there are only five women in all of Cyrodiil who ride black horses. Four of them are riders for the Black Horse Courier, and the fifth is . . . Buffy!
* * *
I encourage constructive criticism.
Since you asked. . .
He slid down wall into a squat.
Here, I think you want to say 'slid down the wall'
“Chorrol.” I said.
Here you want a comma after Chorrol instead of a period because 'said' is an actual speech tag. This is just one example of numerous ones in the story. It is clear from your impressive level of skill that you have written before, but dialogue is tricky and new for most of us. I very much recommend you google 'dialogue punctuation' and study up on the intricacies of punctuating dialogue. A very necessary skill for fiction writers.
Slow down your posting. Prologue + 1.1 + 1.2 + 2.1 + 2.2 . . . My goodness! Give it a few days between updates so folks have time to get around to reading it. If readers get behind because you're posting too fast, they either give up or skim - you sure don't want either of those things! I know you have posted this on the Bethesda forums, but to folks here, it is all new. Don't lose them before you even really get started. Which leads into the next comment -
Limit posts to 1000 - 2000 words (not +3500
). The trouble with long posts is that they invite skimming - and you don't want that! You would have been well served to just post your prologue, then wait a few days between each subsequent update. Then because of the length of 1.1 for example, it would have served well as two or three posts - again, with a few days in between each. You get the idea. Small delicious bites well-spaced.
Posted by: Jacki Dice Jan 27 2011, 05:20 AM
QUOTE
Wouldn’t one kill me if he saw me in a red robe?
That's a very good point!
QUOTE
Bosmer? Did this man know me? Was my name Bosmer?

Very nicely written chapters, though I will agree that it's better to post slower so its easier to catch up
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 28 2011, 12:47 AM
Some gratitude first...
@ mALX - Thanks for all of your compliments to date, and for starting to show me the brake pedal. I was so focused on getting it moved over that I hadn't considered that point.
@ Acadian - I haven't read for enough into Buffy's saga to know about the horse yet. If I had, he may have said, "...and she looked like me!"
A sincere thanks to you for seeing to it that I found the brake pedal that mALX had pointed out, along with your advice. That was exactly what I wasn't getting at the "other" forum.
@ Jackie - Thanks for the cudos. Have no fear, the brakes are on now. I'm glad you got a kick out of, "Was my name Bosmer?"
Truth be told, I chuckled myself when I typed it. I'm finding that's part of what makes this fun. WARNING! My sense of humor can be warped...just sayin'. 
@ All - All posts will be under 2000 words and will have a minimum of 48 hours between them.
Thanks again gang!
********************
Having arrived in Chorrol...
Chapter 3.1 – In Chorrol - New Experiences
Judging by the sun, the raucous coach ride from Imperial City had taken a couple of hours or so. Its position in the sky proclaimed early afternoon now. Adjusting my quiver and satchel, I started toward the city gate. The surrounding countryside was that of forested hills with deciduous and evergreen trees alike, the evergreens being in the minority. Songbirds chirped and whistled in the trees. A butterfly fluttered to and fro on the breeze in front of me, which brought a slight grin to my lips. The sun was warm, even if the air was not. Several of the deciduous trees had leaves that were beginning to change color. Something in my heart sang at the sight of woodlands.
I reached the gate to Chorrol. Painted on the gate was a large white tree within a round field of blue. A guard standing post at the gate had the same emblem emblazoned on his chainmail cuirass and his shield. He never took his eyes off of me and nodded in my direction as I passed through the gate. Once inside, I paused and took in the stark difference between this city and the one I had come from. The fine marble and granite masonry and crowded row houses of Imperial City were not present here. Instead, wood framed buildings with fieldstone or stucco masonry gave the town a rustic look. A large statue of a woman cradling a fallen soldier, surrounded by a low masonry wall, was the focal point of the town center. I moved closer to the statue. The artistry was awe inspiring. The patience that must have been required to carve the long thin stone sword, I can’t imagine. The artist's attention to detail was exquisite, although the finer details had weathered away.
Stop gawking at art and find Jauffre…I moved on, walking toward a building with a sign on it. “The Oak & Crosier” it said. I stepped inside. I had seen cat-like people in Imperial City, but I hadn’t needed to speak directly with any of them. That streak of fortune was about to end because the proprietor of this inn was a female of that feline race. I considered turning around and leaving, and then decided that I might as well get acclimated to speaking with feline humanoids since there seemed to be so many. Still, I approached the bar uneasily.
“Welcome to the Oak and Crosier. This one is Talasma, your hostess. Our rooms and food are at your disposal,” she said with an air of formality.
She was about a head taller than me with a shapely figure. Her eyes were bright green. Her skin, or what I could see of it, was covered with very fine and short fur. Had I touched it, it might have been just slightly fuzzier than a peach. Several large earrings with gold colored baubles hung from both ears. The ears were set high on her head, just like a cat’s ears, poking through long blond hair that fell to her shoulders. Her entire face looked just like a cat’s. Not like a mouser that you might find sitting on top of a cupboard, but more like a lion or some other large cat. From the neck down, she looked basically human, except for the fuzzy skin, the feline look of her hands, and the tail that swished back and forth from time to time behind her blue velvet skirt.
“Hello. How much for a room, assuming you have one available?” I asked.
“I do have one and it is ten Septims for the night.”
“That’ll be fine,” I said and I slid ten gold coins across the bar.
“Very well sir. It is upstairs, the first room on your left,” she said, pointing to the stairs.
“Do you have a menu?”
“We do. Meals are available during business hours. Here you are,” she said, passing me a sheet of folded parchment.
I read the menu. Not as large a selection as The Merchant’s Inn. I selected some ham, cheese, bread, and a bottle of beer, then handed the menu back to Talasma. She took it and walked away, her tail swishing back and forth.
How does she avoid breaking glasses and bottles with that thing?While I waited, I looked around the common room at the inn. There were wooden tables with benches along the walls in the main area. On the far wall was a large fireplace with a fire banked in it. The heat it produced was enough to be felt where I was sitting, but not overpowering.
Talasma returned with my food and wine. “Enjoy,” she said, and started to turn away.
“Wait…please. Forgive me, and I hope this is not rude, but I’m not from these parts. Could you tell me…um…what…are you?”
Talasma started laughing. I guess it was laughing. A kind of chuckle with purring mixed in.
“No offense was taken, Bosmer. Not many Khajiit in Valenwood, eh? Yes. This one is Khajiit.”
“Kajit,” I said, and she quickly corrected my pronunciation. She repeated it slowly and putting the inflection on the correct syllable.
“Kaah-ZHEET.” she said. I repeated the word again and this time it met with her approval.
“This one would be happy to tell you about our proud heritage, but that would take more time than this one has right now, and perhaps more time than you could spare. If you come back when this one is not so busy, then you can learn about Khajiit,” she told me.
“And the people that look like reptiles…what are they?” I inquired further.
She looked at me with what I can only assume was puzzlement.
“You really have been isolated, have you not, Bosmer?” she stated more than asked, “The reptilian ones are called Argonian. This one will not pretend to be able to tell you much more than that. Is there anything else?”
“No. You’ve been a great help. Thank you. What do I owe you for the food?”
“The first food comes with the room,” she replied and walked away.
I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started eating, and in no time at all, my plate was clean. I leaned back and stretched on my stool, then stood and finished the last of my beer. I tossed a gratuity on the bar and thanked Talasma again.
“Thank you as well, Bosmer. This one is at your service should you require anything else.” she said. I couldn’t tell if she was smiling, but she sure was polite.
“Actually, there is one other thing. Do you know a man named Jauffre?”
“I cannot say that I do, but I have only been up from Leyawiin a short while now. I am sure if you ask around town, someone will know of this ‘Jauffre’, if he is indeed from these parts.”
“Okay. Thank you yet again,” I said. With that, I went back outside. Across the lane was another business establishment. Perhaps someone there would know where to find Jauffre. As I was crossing the lane, two large animals came running around the corner and plowed headlong into my side, sending me tumbling to the pavers. I jumped up and wheeled instantly on my attackers, drawing my sword.
There are wolves inside the town walls?“NOOOOO! STOP!” yelled a female voice from behind me, “Bailey! Kezune! Come HERE!” the voice said again.
My attackers tucked their tails between their legs and walked toward me whimpering. I could see now that these were not wolves, but rather large dogs. I turned to see who had yelled. A pleasant looking, if not somewhat harried woman was walking toward me. She wore a blue and green dress. Fair skinned, with her dark hair up in a bun atop her head.
“I am so sorry sir,” she said, and then turned again toward the dogs, “Bailey and Kezune, get over here NOW!” she scolded.
She looked back at me and said, “They really
are good dogs. They meant you no harm. Please forgive us,” the last part she said while looking at my drawn sword.
I glanced down at my sword, and then placed it back in its scabbard.
“You really should have those animals on a tether miss. I recently had a run in---”
“Really sir, they meant no harm. It was purely an accident,” she said.
“Well, that doesn’t change the fact that you would be mourning over dead pets had you not stopped me when you did.” I replied, with a little more force than I had intended. My heart was beginning to settle back to a normal beat.
“Well really! I told you it was an accident! Bailey! Kezune! Come. Let us leave this animal hater be!”
With that the woman stomped away up the lane. I just stared after her for a moment. She walked away with her nose in the air while Bailey and Kezune ran circles around her legs. Shaking my head with a sigh, I finished crossing the lane and entered Northern Goods & Trade.
At first I thought I had entered through the wrong door. There was no counter and no proprietor. There were crates and barrels, some paintings leaning against the wall. I heard some shuffling up the stairs to my left. I walked to the base of the stairs and looked up. My breath caught short as I saw a large lizard wearing a burgundy and black dress with gold embroidery.
Well…it is a day of firsts…you’ve talked to a cat, let’s go talk to a lizard…I walked up the stairs and she started speaking before I reached the top.
“I have only the finest goods to buy and barter at Northern Goods and Trades. I’m Seed-Neeus, the proprietor. How can I help you?” she said in a low pitched, gravelly voice. Her skin was scaly, green on her head and fading into brown on her neck and chest. A tail, thick at its base and tapering to a point, trailed out from behind her dress. Small gold rings pierced her…ears?
“I am looking for a man named Jauffre. Have you heard of him?” I asked.
I could not discern her expression as she paused a moment. There was only the slightest change in the demeanor of her red, slit-pupil eyes.
“An old cleric with that name comes in now and then. Lives southeast of town on the Black Road, at Weynon Priory.” she replied.
“Thank you very much Miss…um…Madam…um…Thanks,” I fumbled.
I headed back down the stairs and out of the store. Talking to reptiles was disquieting and going to take some getting used to. At least now I know where to find Jauffre.
Posted by: Acadian Jan 28 2011, 02:06 AM
A neat view of Chorrol as we traveled with your Bosmer seeing it for his first time.
Your descriptions are very good. You gave us a rich feel for the forest, city, central statue, a Khajiit, then later an Argonian.
'Something in my heart sang at the sight of woodlands.'
Ah yes. Breathe deeply of it, Bosmer!
'How does she avoid breaking glasses and bottles with that thing?'
When I had a great dane, the answer was to keep everything from tail level. Not sure with a Khajiit though.
Speaking of Khajiit, let's talk Khajiit speech for a moment. Well, ok, for a few moments. . . in fact for the rest of my comments -
“This one would be happy to tell you about our proud heritage, but that would take more time than this one has right now, and perhaps more time than you could spare. If you come back when this one is not so busy, then you can learn about Khajiit,” she told me.
Here you seem strong on using the traditional Khajiiti third person speech patterns. Since 'this one' is rather unique, using it three times in one passage can seem a tad redundant. If you want to do this, then you might want to work with phrasing ways to reduce the times she refers to herself. Then don't forget she can also refer to herself in third person by using her name: 'It would take more time than Talasma has right now'.
“I cannot say that I do, but I have only been up from Leyawiin a short while now. I am sure if you ask around town, someone will know of this ‘Jauffre’, if he is indeed from these parts.”
Now here, you jumped to the complete opposite, appearing to abandon your previously strict adherence to Talasma referring to herself in third person.
My recommendation? I would blend the two. Basically have your Khajiit speak more or less normally, with a few references to themselves in the third person. I wouldn't necessarily expect every Khajiit to speak the same, so I would not be surprised to see some speak very traditionally and others speak much more like humans and elves.
Posted by: mALX Jan 29 2011, 04:53 AM
From your description and encounter with the Khajiit - this was already shaping up to be my fave chapter of yours so far - Awesome Job !!! Then you added in the incident with the dogs - you had me rolling with that encounter !!! I can see how your writing began flowing from the first chapter, improving with each till you were able to produce this masterpiece in a few short chapters !!! I loved this one, my fave so far !!!
Posted by: Grits Jan 29 2011, 10:35 PM
I’m enjoying your story, and I’m glad you’re posting it here! I love how you explained the marks on the map, and your description of the healing potion. I can already tell that I’ll like your sense of humor. I’ll be watching for more of the adventures of ‘Bosmer.’
Posted by: TheOtherRick Jan 30 2011, 05:42 PM
A few thanks are in order...
@ Acadian - Great catch on the Talasma dialogue. It's pointing out those little things that are going to help improve my writing. Many thanks!
@ mALX - Thanks and I am glad you're enjoying it. As I was playing the game, Rena and her dogs really did come around the corner, and the idea was born.
@ Grits - Welcome to the story and thank you very much for the compliment.
********************
Chapter 3.2 – In Chorrol – Meeting Jauffre
The Black Road. Where had I heard that before? Oh yes…Tappius Velvus had said it, when I hired the coach. He said, “The Black road it is then…” So we must have traveled the Black Road to get here, and that must have been Weynon Priory that I saw as the coach began to slow.I set off towards the town gate. The afternoon sun allowed for perhaps two or three hours of daylight. I hoped it would be a short walk. I did not want to be outside the town walls after dark. During the walk, I noticed that this area appeared to be foothills, building to a mountain range that I could see in the distance to the north. Long grasses and meadow weeds swayed in the breeze. I felt that same quickening of my pulse that I had felt on my arrival. Whether it was the woodlands or nerves, I wasn’t sure.
Before I knew it, Weynon Priory appeared as I rounded a gentle bend in the road. At a fork in the road, a sign proclaimed that Imperial City was to the right and someplace called Bruma was toward the left. The Bruma road pressed on northward through the priory grounds, passing under an enclosed loft on the right side of the house. I walked up to the manor door and knocked. No one answered and I knocked again as I slowly opened the door.
“Hello?” I said as I entered. I had barely closed the door when a man in a long brown robe walked toward me. His hair was cut tonsure style, a bushy ring surrounding a bald pate.
“Yes? May I help you?” he said.
“I am looking for Jauffre.”
“He is upstairs. Go ahead,” the man replied, pointing to the stairs and returning to a candlelit table where he had been reading.
I went up the stairs, nervous as a rabbit in a lion’s den. I had no clue what was going to happen when I spoke to Jauffre. I turned right at the top of the stairs and entered what appeared to be a study or office. A balding man with short grey hair sat behind a desk at the far end of the room. He was clad in the same type of brown robe that the other man wore. I walked toward him. This was not what I had expected to find. Baurus had told me that Jauffre was the “grandmaster” of his order. I thought surely that he would be a muscular, battle-hardened warrior. The man who sat before me looked to be anything but a warrior. He didn’t even look up until I had reached the desk.
“I’m Brother Jauffre. What do you want?” he said in a very direct manner.
“The Emperor sent me to find you,” I replied.
“Emperor Uriel? Do you know something about his death?”
“Yes. I was there when he died.”
I had Jauffre’s full attention now. He swept aside the papers he had been reading. I quickly opened my satchel. Hot danger flashed in Jauffre’s eyes and he tensed visibly, as if preparing to defend himself. I slowed my movements as I reached in and pulled out the Amulet of Kings. His eyes widened, staring at the amulet for a moment, then glaring back at me.
“You’d better explain yourself. Now!” he said. His tone clearly stated that he would brook no delay.
I explained the events that transpired in the underground beneath Imperial City, leaving out only the facts surrounding my illegal parole and memory loss. He sat patiently though the entire narrative, showing no change in emotion, even as I eased the amulet onto his desk. Only when I had mentioned the Emperor’s last words, “…close shut the jaws of Oblivion”, did his expression change at all. Not to one of alarm or surprise, but more like deep seated concern. He sat quiet for a few moments, staring at the amulet. Then he looked at me again and spoke.
“As unlikely as your story sounds, I believe you,” he said, “Only the strange destiny of Uriel Septim could have brought you to me carrying the Amulet of Kings.”
Relief flooded through me as if a dam had burst. Jauffre was staring at the amulet again. He reached out and slid it closer to him.
I did it! I have rid myself of that amulet and lived."Close shut the jaws of Oblivion,” he said, repeating the Emperor’s last words as he gazed at the red stone. “The Emperor seemed to perceive some threat from the demonic world of Oblivion.”
He went on for a bit about a prince of destruction and powerful barriers. He seemed to be talking more to himself than to me. I just stared dumbly and kept quiet. Then he looked directly at me. I hoped he was about to tell me I could be on my way.
“When an Emperor is crowned,” he continued, “he uses this Amulet to light the Dragonfires at the Temple of the One. With the Emperor dead and no new heir crowned, the Dragonfires in the Temple will be dark, for the first time in centuries. It may be that the Dragonfires protected us from a threat that only the Emperor was aware of.”
I stood there a moment, lost in everything the man had just said. I knew as much about what he was talking about as I did my own name at that moment. So far, thankfully, he hadn’t asked what that was. I started to ask for his leave, and then I remembered one other thing I was supposed to tell Jauffre. I owed Uriel Septim that much. If it wasn’t for the Emperor, I would still be in that foul cell.
“The Emperor said there is another heir,” I told him.
Jauffre leaned back in his chair and said, "I am one of the few who know of his existence. Uriel told me to deliver the boy somewhere safe when he was still just a baby. He never told me anything else about the baby, but I knew it was his son. From time to time he would ask about the child's progress. Now, it seems that this presumably illegitimate son is the heir to the Septim Throne, if he yet lives."
Then he leaned forward, looking me dead in the eyes, "His name is Martin. He serves Akatosh in the Chapel in the city of Kvatch, south of here. You must go to Kvatch and find him at once.”
Do what?“If the enemy is aware of his existence, as seems likely, he is in terrible danger. Although my resources here are limited, I will help in any way I can," he said as he stood.
Find Martin?Jauffre walked out from behind his desk to a chest next to the wall. He pulled a key from his robe and unlocked it, saying, “Here, help yourself to whatever you may need,” and then returned to his chair.
My head was reeling.
Go to Kvatch? The enemy? Terrible danger?I was speechless.
You’d better do something... Move... Speak… SOMETHING!I walked over to the chest and opened it, more to stall for time than anything else. There was an array of weapons, armor, and potions in the chest.
THINK! What are you going to do?A quiver of steel arrows and a steel bow caught my eye. They were obviously of a higher quality than the bow and arrows that I was carrying. Still trying to figure out my next move, I swapped the bow and quiver for my own.
I just traveled in the coach of bouncing bruises to get OUT of danger, not head right back into it! THINK you knot-head!Looking at the bottles of potion, I remembered how much money I had made selling them in Imperial City. I grabbed every bottle in the chest, not bothering to read the labels. None of the armor looked any better than what I already had. I rummaged through the chest in an attempt to look like I wasn’t finished.
You can’t stand here forever… THINK! Run... Just RUN!I inhaled deeply as I slowly closed the chest. I stood up straight and adjusted my new quiver and bow. Then without another word, I bolted for the stairs. I took the stairs three at a time until I was down them, and then I was out the door before I heard a word from Jauffre or his assistant. The door slammed loudly behind me. A stable hand stopped when he heard it and I almost knocked him over. I ran as fast as my short legs would carry me, back up the road toward Chorrol. I glanced back only once to check for pursuit and saw none. I didn’t slow down until I reached the south gate. Once inside the walls, I continued my dash straight for the inn. Bursting through the door drew a sudden growl from Talasma. I didn’t hesitate. I sprinted up the stairs to my room, entered, closed the door and locked it. I stood there panting for a minute, listening at the door for sounds of anyone coming up the stairs. I heard nothing. Out of breath, I sat on the bed. I intended to eat from my satchel and not to leave the room for the rest of the night. I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes.
I made the smart decision. Yes. I can’t go looking for heirs. I still don’t even know who I am! I owed the slain Emperor a debt, but a stranger in a strange land could only help a bandit’s coin purse, or an undertaker. Yes. I did make the right decision. I have no intention of dying to help a dead Emperor. Yes. It was the smart thing to do…
Posted by: Acadian Jan 31 2011, 02:56 AM
This was great fun! You did the full measure of justice to a scene that all of us are delightfully familiar with! Well done!
'I went up the stairs, nervous as a rabbit in a lion’s den.'
Even though 'Bosmer' doesn't realize what a wood elf actually is, this is a perfect reaction!
“You’d better explain yourself. Now!” he said. His tone clearly stated that he would brook no delay.
…You must go to Kvatch and find him at once.”
Now, bear in mind, Buffy's reaction at this point in her story was to drop the amulet on the rude man's desk, deliver him a 'You're not the boss of me!' speech and storm out of the Priory. I was delighted to see Bosmer's reaction:
'Do what?'
Brilliant, Rick!
'I just traveled in the coach of bouncing bruises to get OUT of danger, not head right back into it! THINK you knot-head!'
Doubly brilliant, not to mention the extra wood elf reference (knot head).
'I have no intention of dying to help a dead Emperor. Yes. It was the smart thing to do…'
I agree!!!
Segueing toward the more technical end of things, let me say that your post length was great here and I'm pleased that you allowed a bit of a 'resting' period before updating. Let me also say that you obviously took my advice and did a little digging on the pesky subject of dialogue punctuation. Nicely done on that count.
Nit?
'I set off towards the town gate.'
'I had barely closed the door when a man in a long brown robe walked toward me.'
Towards vs toward. Firstly, you should select one and be consistent. Secondly, in selecting which to use, you will find that both mean the same thing; toward is generally recognized as the US version, while towards tends to be preferred in the UK. My recommendation? Use toward only.
Posted by: mALX Jan 31 2011, 04:59 AM
What a brilliant twist you added to the story! Now I wonder what he will end up? You have some great lines in this chapter - too many to quote without spamming the thread, and it looks like Acadian beat me to my favorites, lol. Great Write !!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 1 2011, 01:56 PM
To my two fans, a word like "brilliant" coming from you both is like mana from heaven! Thanks so much for the compliments and support! I am finding it hard to hold back the posts because I am six chapters ahead of my posts with my writing. But I shall remain true to your advice and keep the reins pulled back.
@ Acadian - Re: "Knot-head"...You will find that the not-so-long-to-be-nameless Bosmer will use that phrase often. Anyone acting in an imbecilic manner (including himself) will receive the label.
@ mALX - Indeed, the main quest is but a side road now. As much fun as it was, I was eager to get that portion of the story behind us. Perhaps we will make a sojourn back to it later.
Let's get 'Bosmer' a name, shall we...
********************
Chapter 4 – Unbound, Yet Fettered
The man was smiling and laughing. The woman was also laughing with her arm around the man’s waist. They stood in front of the home and watched the child as it giggled endlessly, chasing a butterfly. Suddenly there was a tremendous thunderclap. The youth stopped and turned in fear toward the man and woman. They were gone. The child looked around, fear growing by the moment. Dark clouds welled up from every horizon, plunging the world into twilight. The gentle breeze became wind, steadily increasing to a full blown gale. The earth began to tremble, knocking the youngster off its feet. The child began to cry. Lightning struck nearby, followed immediately by a deafening blast of thunder. Another, and then another. The frequency increased until the world became strobes of electric flashes and a cacophony of thunderous explosions. The toddler lay shrieking with terror in the grass, its face down to the ground, and its arms over the back of its head. Suddenly all was silent. Complete and total silence. The child could not even hear its own sobs when it rolled onto its back, looking up at the sky. The boiling clouds above swirled and contorted with violence. A ring of light, dim and unfocused at first, brightened within the clouds. Suddenly a rotating ring of nine points of light, like bright stars, broke through the clouds. Without any visible change in cadence, the ring evolved into two rotating rings of four stars while the remaining star grew dimmer and larger. They seemed to be amongst the undulating clouds, not in front of them or obscured by them. The two smaller rings coalesced into red orbs. The dark star grew larger and darker. The clouds morphed into the shape of a beast. The red orbs became its eyes. The large dark orb, which now more resembled a hole in space, became the beast’s mouth. The face of the beast looked straight down at the small person and charged toward it, opening its fang filled maw. The child could not hear its own screams as total darkness enveloped it…I sat up in the bed with a scream. My hands were trembling and I was dripping with sweat. I shook my head and gave an exasperated sigh as I realized it was only a nightmare. A terrifying one, but just a dream none the less. I looked around the room and jumped when lightning flashed outside, followed by rolling, vibrating thunder. I could hear the wind blowing rain against the window.
I must have heard the storm in my sleep…I stood up, realizing that I was still wearing my armor. I must have dozed off. I went over to the pitcher and basin on the dresser, poured water into the basin, and splashed my face with it. The water in the basin stilled and brought my reflection into focus.
Now what are you going to do Mister “I-Got-Rid-Of-It-Alive”? You no longer have the Amulet of Kings. You are unbound. Yet you are a prisoner. You have no freedom because you have no knowledge. You have no clue… You don’t even know your own name…That last thought was the most frustrating of all. I could not introduce myself, or answer anyone that asked what my name was. Knowledge was indeed the key. I needed to learn about where and what I was before I could set my path to find out who I was. However, I desperately needed a name. It would not do to be fumbling like a senile old man if a guard demanded to know who I was. I thought of the two wood elves that I had met so far. Rindir and Thoronir. Bosmer men seemed to have one-word names.
You’re determining this after meeting only two?I frowned. It was a chance I would have to take. I needed something that sounded similar.
Rindir…Thoronir…
Talondir?I sounded it out. “
Talon-deer,” I said aloud. It sounded like an elk with claws. Shaking my head, I changed it a bit. “
Talen-door,” I said aloud this time.
“Talendor,” I repeated. It sounded good to me. Talendor it would be. If anyone asked, I was Master Talendor of Valenwood.
What if they ask you about Valenwood, you knot-head…Perhaps it would be just plain Talendor then. One issue solved, hopefully. But I still had the issue of my lack of knowledge to contend with. Saying that I was from far away could probably fly for a while, but I would still be handicapped with ignorance about my surroundings. I decided that the pursuit of knowledge would be my primary goal for now. Gain knowledge, and a means of supporting myself. My supply of money would not last indefinitely. I got out of my armor, leaving it lying on the bed, and donned my doublet and linens. Then I grabbed my satchel, headed for the door of my room…and stopped.
Had anyone from Weynon Priory come looking for me?I opened the door as slowly and quietly as I could. Another lightning flash made me jump, the thunder louder and quicker this time. There was no one in the hall. I slipped out of the room, closing the door just as quietly behind me, and crept toward the stairs. I stopped again before descending, listening intently for voices from the common room. All was quiet. I eased down the stairs, wincing as a few of them creaked. There was still no sound. As I got low enough to see into the common room, I saw Talasma sitting on a stool behind the bar, reading a book…and purring. Her tail swung back and forth like a pendulum on a clock. I took the next step and the tread squealed with an unbelievably loud creak. Talasma stopped purring, raised her head and saw me immediately. She marked her place in the book, set it on a shelf under the bar and stood up.
“Good morning, Bosmer,” she said.
I tried to continue in stride so it wouldn’t look like I was sneaking about. Whether I was successful or not, she gave no hint of.
“Good morning Talasma. How are you today?” I responded. It sounded forced.
“I was just catching up on some reading. It is slow,” she gestured toward the windows, “the weather.”
As if on cue, lightning flashed. Close on its heels was a crash of thunder that made me jump again.
“Relax, Bosmer. Storms of this nature are not uncommon where I come from. This one is sure we will survive it,” Talasma said with a chuckle.
“The thunder caught me by surprise, that’s all. I’m fine,” I fibbed, still trying to forget the dream.
“Perhaps you would care for some food. Maybe a glass of mulled wine for your nerves?” she said, chuckling again.
“Some food would be nice. Eggs with some bread and cheese please. I’ll pass on the wine though. It’s a bit early for that,” I replied.
“As you wish, Bosmer.”
She walked back to the kitchen. I was sure glad to find the common room empty. Brother Jauffre was just going to have to find someone else to go heir hunting. I pulled out my coin purse and counted out twenty Septims. The remainder of the coins taunted me. Money was going to become a problem very soon if I didn’t find a way to gain some income. Talasma soon returned with a plate of food and a carafe and placed them in front of me. It smelled delicious and whetted my appetite immediately. She poured me a cup of milk from the carafe. Speaking around a bite of cheese, I innocently asked her if anything odd happened last night.
“The only strange occurrence this one noticed was you running in here like you were on fire and failing to close the door behind you,” she said with what looked like a scowl.
Think quick…“Oh. I’m sorry about that. I thought I was being chased…by bandits…on the road…coming back from the priory.”
She cast me a sidelong glance, and then continued, “Well, to put your mind at ease, no one here heard tales of bandits on the road last night. By the way, it will be ten Septims for the breakfast.”
At least no one came looking for me…I gave her half of the coins I had laid on the bar and tried to steer the subject.
“You wouldn’t know if anyone in town needs hired help?” I asked.
“Well, the Fighters Guild is hiring. Not bad work, if you’ve got the stones for it. Just make sure they don’t send you out on stormy days or down roads with phantom bandits.” she said, and laughed at the joke she had made at my expense, and then continued, “I am sorry, Bosmer. It’s just that you seem jumpy as a kitten with hounds at his hind quarters this morning. No offense meant.”
“None taken,” I replied. Frowning, I took a bite of food.
“If you are worried about your solvency, there are other ways to make money as well.”
“Yes?” I said with a mouth full of bread.
“Yes. You can hunt in the surrounding forest and sell the pelts and meat. You can explore some of the abandoned mines in the area. There is no telling what you might find.”
Underground again? No thank you!Hunting had real potential though, provided there was sufficient game in the area. I mopped up the last of the egg yolk with my bread, popped it in my mouth, and washed it down with the last of the milk.
“That was a fantastic breakfast Talasma. Thank you very much,” I said as I rose.
“Talasma thanks you as well…what did you say your name was?”
“Talendor,” I replied as if I had been telling people that all my life.
“Thank you Talendor. May luck be with you in your search for employment.”
She gathered the dishware from my breakfast and took it to the kitchen. I collected the remaining ten coins from the bar and walked to the window. The storm had let up. I decided to explore the town and see what I could learn. I left The Oak & Crosier as Talasma sat back in her stool and picked up her book.
********************
EDIT - Nits picked
Posted by: mALX Feb 1 2011, 10:18 PM
You are doing an Awesome job of giving Talasma personality in your write !! The dialogue between them is Great !!!
Posted by: Acadian Feb 2 2011, 02:01 AM
Stick to your posting discipline. No faster than once every two or three days. Just use the time to bank up new drafts and edit.
A powerfully mysterious dream to open things. Wonderful how you tied it to a real storm that had likely triggered the dream.
'Now what are you going to do Mister “I-Got-Rid-Of-It-Alive”? You no longer have the Amulet of Kings. You are unbound. Yet you are a prisoner. You have no freedom because you have no knowledge. You have no clue… You don’t even know your own name…'
What neat insight Talendor expresses here!
I decided that the pursuit of knowledge would be my primary goal for now.
Ahah. So we have an interim objective now. Good choice.
The remainder of the coins taunted me.
Very clever rendition of 'I'm low on cash.'
“Well, the Fighters Guild is hiring. Not bad work, if you’ve got the stones for it. Just make sure they don’t send you out on stormy days or down roads with phantom bandits.” she said
This was enough to endear lovely Talasma to me right here, if her purring while reading and flicking her tail had not already done so.
A very enjoyable read, and I'm delighted our elf has a name! I loved his rational and thinking in choosing it. Looks like maybe some hunting to earn his keep for now?
Nits-
Your opening paragraph is very heavy on the phrase 'the child'. Keeping things (I assume intentionally) genderless in the dream limits your choices. You could try getting creative and inserting a couple alternatives to break things up. Perhaps 'small figure' or 'lone tiny soul'. With some thought you might generate a couple ideas.
'Lightning struck nearby, followed immediately by deafening blast of thunder. Another, and then another.'
I suspect you want either 'blasts' or 'a blast' here.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 3 2011, 06:45 PM
I will remain disciplined and post no more often than I should. I fear the damage may have already been done, judging from the number of comments. But that's ok, because I am having a BLAST!
@ mALX - Thanks as always for your comments. Just so you know, I have started reading about the exploits of Maxical (Excellent writing, BTW) but I'll wait to start posting until I have caught up. This might take a while...
@ Acadian - Thanks for the nits, and I have picked them. I am always glad to receive advice.
And thanks as well for the story comments. I do believe some hunting is on the horizon.
@ Both of you - I am glad you are enjoying Talasma as much as I am. Plugging a personality into an NPC has been great fun.
On to Chapter 5...
********************
Chapter 5 – Seeking, Then Hunting
Outside the inn, thunder still rolled through the hills in the distance. The rain had slowed to just a drizzle and I shivered briefly at the slight chill in the air. I looked up the street to my right. There was another shop with a sign that had what looked like an open book on it. I walked that way and grinned as the writing came into focus. “Renoit’s Books” it read.
Knowledge…I entered the book shop. The scent of old paper and leather bindings competed with the aroma of burning wood from the fireplace. Standing near a table was a woman that I assumed to be the shop owner. I walked over to her and she introduced herself as Estelle Renoit, and stated that she was indeed the proprietor.
I explained that I was new to the area and that I was looking for books that could teach me the local customs, politics, or anything else that could help me become better acquainted with this land. She quoted several titles and gave me brief descriptions that sounded promising. Then she quoted the prices. Unfortunately, my dwindling supply of coinage would not permit me any purchases at those prices. Explaining my financial dilemma to her, she simply stated that the books were for buying and that this wasn’t a library. I thanked her for her time and left the shop empty handed.
So much for the traditional approach to education…I decided to spend the morning exploring the town. Maybe I would overhear someone talking about some work. As I took in the sights, I deliberately walked near people that were having conversations, eavesdropping for information. I rounded the corner where the inn was located, and followed the next lane up a gentle slope toward a huge oak tree. A shop called “Fire & Steel” was located across from the inn. Smoke from the chimney and the ringing of a hammer pounding metal against an anvil described it as a blacksmith’s shop.
At the end of the lane, I found two more buildings with signs on them. “Fighter’s Guild” and “Mage’s Guild” their labeling proclaimed. This was one place where Talasma said I could find work. I wasn’t too keen on the idea of working for a guild that required fighting to be paid, and she hadn’t said anything about making money working for mages.
Just then, I overheard a man talking to an elegant looking woman in a green velvet dress. He was commenting to her about someone named Honditar, saying that he was a good hunter and knew his way around this area very well. I walked over to the gentleman and then, fibbing that I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, inquired about Honditar.
“He’s an Altmer that has a house outside the city walls,” the man said, “You may see him in town from time to time. You can’t miss him. He walks around with a bow and quiver. There he is now.”
He pointed to someone walking up the street. Honditar was an impossibly tall man, with a bow and quiver slung over his shoulder. He wore a dark green shirt and leather pants. His skin was a golden color. He had combed back hair that was bright silver verging on white, his hair line forming a widow's peak in the center of his forehead. I thanked the man and started walking toward the tall man. The Altmer stopped in front of me when I reached him.
“Hello sir. I don’t mean to keep you, but I wonder if you could help me out?” I asked, smiling politely.
“Perhaps I can, perhaps I cannot,” the Altmer replied without a smile.
“My name is Talendor. I am new to this area. I see that you are an archer,” I said, pointing to his bow and quiver.
“I am indeed. I’m Honditar. Hunter and mountain man. You asked if I could help you.”
“Yes, well, I am also an archer and I am interested in hunting game in this area. Can you give me any tips or advice?” I asked.
“The deer are skittish and will lead you on a merry chase if you fail to drop them with your first shot. Try poisoning your arrows. It won’t affect the meat at all,” he said, “but be wary. There are other creatures in the forest much more aggressive than deer. I hope that helps,” he said and started on his way again.
“Um…yeah. Well…thanks for the advice and warning, Honditar. Perhaps we will meet again after my hunting trip?” I said with my best 'fellow hunter' banter.
“Perhaps we will, perhaps we won’t,” he replied over his shoulder.
I had hoped that Honditar would share a little more information than that, but he didn’t seem to be in a good mood and I didn’t want to seem pushy. I continued my walking trip around Chorrol. Past the smith’s shop there was a rundown looking place that I learned was “The Gray Mare”. It was the other inn that Talasma had spoken of, and none too highly of at that. Up the hill from there was a castle. I assumed that the mayor or some such must live there. Suddenly, my stomach growled and I realized that I had killed the entire morning. I went back to the inn for some lunch.
After a quick meal of jerked beef and cheese and some ale, I went up to my room and changed into my armor. I emptied the contents of my satchel onto the bed to make room for all of the meat and pelts I would be carrying back into town. I grabbed my bow and quiver. Adrenaline started coursing through my veins, and I felt the need to hurry. I was so excited that I took the stairs two at a time when I returned downstairs. With nothing more than a parting wave to Talasma, I strode out the door and toward the south gate.
Once I was outside the town, I slowed my pace. As soon as I cleared the town walls, I turned left and started skulking through the tall grass and brush. I overheard one of the gate guards say something in a sardonic tone to his partner about “checking out the master hunter”, but I paid it no heed. I continued along, crouched and attentive, with the town wall not more than fifteen feet to my left. I came across a mine entrance. The mine itself looked like it had been abandoned for some time. The door at the entrance was barely on its hinges. However, there were some fairly fresh looking tracks leading to and from the door. I continued the hunt.
A little further on, I stopped dead in my tracks. Through the trees and brush, I could see Weynon Priory. I wanted to be nowhere near that place. I retraced my steps, walking normally now, back to the gate. The guards were pointing at me and laughing.
“What, no trophies?” one of them said.
They both laughed even harder now. I frowned and turned along the path away from the gate. I would show them. When I reached the Black Road, I continued straight across and into the brush. I couldn’t see far because of the uneven terrain. I walked up a small rise with a crumbling stone wall. There was a much better view of the area when I reached the top. I scanned down the hill and through the trees. Not a deer in sight, or any other animal for that matter.
What did you expect? Herds of deer stretching out for as far as the eye can see?I turned west, keeping the road in sight so I wouldn’t get lost, and continued my hunt. I topped another small rise just in time to see a deer scamper away in front of me. I quickly drew out my bow and nocked an arrow, but the deer was gone. Honditar had called the deer “skittish”. That seemed an understatement at this moment. I kept the bow out and arrow nocked, and continued in the direction the deer had run. Suddenly, there it was again. With lightning speed I raised the bow, aimed, and shot. The arrow found nothing but air, and eventually, I assume it found the ground. Regardless of what it found, I frowned over the fact that I would never see it again. The deer mocked me with flashes of its white tail as it bounced away…again.
Well that arrow is history. Good shot knot-head!I combed the woods near Chorrol for hours, losing three more arrows to bouncing white deer butts. The sun was getting low and with a dejected sigh, I decided to call it a day. My hunting tactics definitely needed improvement. Just as I turned to head back, movement caught my eye in the brush ahead. I crouched immediately. More movement. It wasn’t a deer…too small. I crept closer. I could hear my pulse in my temples. Whatever it was, it hadn’t noticed me yet. I could see dark brown fur through the grass. I nocked an arrow, pulled the bowstring to my cheek, and released. At that very moment, the animal reared on its hind legs with its back to me. The arrow struck it dead center in its back and sent it flying.
“Yaaaaaheeeeee!” I yelled, jumping into the air. I ran to my prey and all of the excitement ran out of my heart the second I saw it. I had killed a rat. A filthy, stinking rat! Despair dropped my shoulders. I placed a foot on the fruit of my stalking and removed the arrow. I started to just walk away, but then decided to place the vermin corpse into my satchel. Even if I couldn’t sell it, I may be reduced to eating it when I became broke.
Some trophy…Back at the south gate, I was grateful to see that the two guards had been relieved by others. I entered the town and walked over to Northern Goods & Trade, went in and met Seed-Neeus at the top of the stairs.
“It looks like someone has been hunting. Any luck?” she asked.
“Not really,” I said, pulling the rat from my satchel by the tail, “Do you buy these?”
She flicked her forked tongue out rapidly a couple of times, and then she said, “Well, we Argonians don’t mind a little rat meat now and again, but it is not a big seller in these parts. I might be able to sell it to Rena for her dogs. It would be better if it was cleaned. I’ll tell you what. I will give you one Septim for it. But next time, you have to clean it first.”
I handed the rat to her and she dropped the coin in my hand. Without a word, I turned and left. I felt completely demoralized. With sagging shoulders and a lowered head, I dragged myself back to the inn.
********************
EDIT - Nits picked.
Posted by: Grits Feb 3 2011, 11:16 PM
I continued along, crouched and attentive, with the town wall not more than fifteen feet to my left.
I love the image of Talendor stalking along almost within reach of the city wall. Master hunter, indeed!
The arrow found nothing but air, and eventually, I assume it found the ground. Regardless of what it found, I frowned over the fact that I would never see it again. The deer mocked me with flashes of its white tail as it bounced away…again.
Hunting would be so much easier if the darn deer would just attack you.
I’m sorry I’m too new at this to have any advice for you. I am enjoying Talendor’s adventures very much!
Posted by: mALX Feb 4 2011, 01:15 AM
ROFL !!! I absolutely love this chapter! The mocking guards ... pulling one rat out of his satchel by the tail and holding it up ... BWAAAHAAA !!! And then she gives him just one Septim ... SPEW !!!
AWESOME WRITE !!!
This paragraph stood out to me as an example of your ability to slip a little detail in that completely enhances the read:
QUOTE
She flicked her forked tongue out rapidly a couple of times, and then she said, “Well, we Argonians don’t mind a little rat meat now and again, but it is not a big seller in these parts. I might be able to sell it to Rena for her dogs. It would be better if it was cleaned. I’ll tell you what. I will give you one Septim for it. But next time, you have to clean it first.”
Loved that paragraph - so easy to visualize the scene!!!
Posted by: Acadian Feb 4 2011, 03:18 AM
Old business - I reread your edited version of the dream that opened Chapter 4. Nicely done.
*
Chapter 5 here was just a joy to read! What a delightful tour of Chorrol followed by an impressive display of big game hunting.
'I couldn’t see far because of the uneven terrain.'
Bah! The young wood elf on my shoulder assures me that you couldn't see far because you are shorter than the tall grass, just like she is!
I see that dear mALX selected a fabulous line to quote above, and I agree about forked tongues and rat meat.
'Well that arrow is history. Good shot knot-head!
I combed the woods near Chorrol for hours, losing three more arrows to bouncing white deer butts.'
This type of self-deprecation and wry sense of humor is part of what is causing Talendor to quickly worm his way into our hearts.
Indeed, this entire hunting expedition served to render Talendor as quite endearing!
Nits?
'He had combed back hair that was silver to the point of white and his hair line came to a point in the center of his forehead.'
I recommend, during your editing, to seek out and eliminate repetition of words in close proximity. Especially when those words or their use is rather memorable as the word 'point' is here. A couple alternatives (I prefer the first):
'He had combed back hair that was silver to the point of white, and his hair line came to a widow's peak in the center of his forehead.'
'He had combed back hair that was silver - almost white - and his hair line came to a point in the center of his forehead.'
I said with my best “fellow hunter” banter.
I think this is purely a style choice so please feel free to ignore it. By using full "quotation" marks, I paused briefly to verify that it was not dialogue. I would use single 'quote' marks here.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 5 2011, 03:30 PM
Another two days has come and gone...time for more...but first, thanks are in order...
@ Grits - I agree...A deer would be easier to kill if it was charging and yelling "Die, Fetcher!" (Visions of 'When Animals Attack' video in my head now).
@ mALX - I am e-mailing you some paper towel to clean up the spewing that I caused. I hope your keyboard is not permanently damaged. 
@ Acadian - Tell Buffy that Talendor still isn't used to being short, so he blames it on the lay of the land.
As always, thanks for the nits...they have been picked
I am grateful for the critique.
@ All - Thank you all for the comments and keeping me inspired to continue. They mean a lot.
And now, Talendor was heading to the inn after selling his rat...
********************
Chapter 6 – “These are bad people..."
I walked into the common room of the Oak & Crosier. Talasma briefly glanced up from her duties to see who had come in, and then went back to them. Honditar, of all people, was sitting at the bar. Two other men were near the fireplace talking to each other. I noticed that Honditar had laid his archery gear on the floor between his stool and the bar. I pulled out a barstool and did the same as I sat down heavily with despair. Talasma walked over to see if I needed anything and I told her that just some water would be fine. When I started to dig for coins upon her return, she said there was no charge for water. I thanked her and she went back about her business.
“So, it seems we will meet when your hunt is done after all,” Honditar said to me.
I looked over at the hunter. I really didn’t want to talk about it. The dejection must have shown on my face.
“Oh come now, it couldn’t have been
that bad,” he pressed.
“You don’t know the half of it, Honditar,” I said, “I spent hours walking through the woods. I lost four good arrows while shooting at the white taunts of deer backsides. I’ll tell you how bad it was. Do you want to know what I got for my lost arrows and sore legs and frustration? I got one rat! That’s it! One stinking, lousy, flea-bitten pile of
vermin! I shouldn’t say ‘worthless’…at least Seed-Neeus felt it was worth one whole Septim,” and I turned back to mope at my water cup.
“Talendor…it is Talendor, right?” he said as he slid his stool a little closer, “You must not be so hard on yourself. I could tell you were a novice when we met. Anyone with experience would not have stopped me on the street as you did. You may indeed be good with the bow, but the hunt is a different matter. As with all things in life, success comes with practice and patience. Come by my house tomorrow. We will go out together and get you a deer. My only fee will be that you replace any arrows that I lose. That means it’s free, because I’ll not lose one.”
He is going to help me?I turned to look at the Altmer again, “Are you serious?” I asked incredulously.
“I would not have offered otherwise,” he said.
“Oh wow! I really do appreciate this, Honditar. You just don’t know,” I said. Lowering my voice, I continued, “I am almost completely broke. If I don’t get something soon, I will be outdoors at night like the beggars I see around town.”
“Well then here is a piece of advice. Rather than come over tomorrow, I’ll tell you
now where you can do
better than a deer. Right outside the wall, there is a mine---“
“I saw it today,” I piped up.
Honditar looked at me with a frown.
“Sorry,” I said.
“As I was saying, there is a mine that I have heard still has some silver left in it. Possibly more than that, due to the tenants---”
“Tenants?” I queried.
He frowned again, sighing this time.
“Sorry,” I said again.
“Yes. Tenants. It is a bandit den. They sometimes stash their loot there while they are looking for buyers. So you may get lucky. But be warned!
No one in that mine can be bargained or bartered with. They will kill you on sight, so
you must do the same,” he finished.
“I must do the same?” I asked with widening eyes, “
Kill someone that has done nothing to me?”
“You mustn’t look at it that way. Look at it like…like you are performing a service. These are bad people, Talendor. They have wronged others and gotten away with it. Most of their victims were probably murdered when they were robbed. You would be serving justice. Even better, you would be serving it anonymously…seeking no glory. You can curry favor with The Nine using those ideals, if you need to,” he said, and took a long pull off of his bottle of ale.
“Let me ask you then,” I said, “why haven’t
you done it?”
He looked around for a second, and then leaned over to me.
“Let’s just say I don’t do well in cramped spaces,” he whispered, and then he sat up and continued, “Besides, I don’t need the money. But that’s not the point. You, my Bosmer friend, are perfect for it. You are small, agile, and stealthy. That bow of yours is just as effective in a cave, especially against a foe that doesn’t know you are there. Aim true and don’t be seen. I must leave now.”
With that, he stood, finished his ale, grabbed his belongings and left. I realized that for the first time since all this began, someone had called me ‘
friend’. I turned to thank him, but he was gone.
The mine meant underground, unknown tenants...
Would there be zombies too?
You are broke 'Talendor
', or whatever your name is. Do you want to be a beggar?I sat there staring at my empty water cup, frowning over those thoughts.
“Would you like some more water?” Talasma asked me. I hadn’t even seen her walk over.
“Huh? Oh…no thank you. Have I paid for the bed for tonight?”
* * *
I stared at the mine entrance in the early morning light.
Aim true and don’t be seen…I was about to cross a line. Not just the line between the light of day and the dark underground. I could always return from that. There was no coming back from the line I was about to cross, for good or ill. I wrestled with it for what seemed like hours.
They will kill you on sight. You must do the same…Can I do that? Up to now, everything I have killed has meant to do the same to me, or would have if given the chance. Honditar’s words echoed again…
They will kill you on sight…I believed the Altmer. I had no doubt that they would. But this seemed different. These wouldn’t be vermin or reanimated corpses or goblins. They were people.
These are bad people...I tried to picture a family being robbed. The man of the house cut down trying to defend his family. That thought helped. It helped a lot! If I could really believe that I was bringing justice to those that deserved it, perhaps I could pull this off and still sleep at night. My self-doubt was crippling me.
Justice…With a deep breath, I opened the door and entered the mine. As soon as the door closed behind me, an arrow whistled past my ear and hit the door with a resounding *
THUNK*. I was so startled that I bolted right back out the door and then turned to face it, back pedaling. It suddenly burst open and a bandit leaped out of the mine. She saw me immediately. She laughed and drew her dagger, then came at me yelling, “Dying time is here, child!”
Child?I had only a moment to jump up on the nearest boulder and avoid her charge. The bandit’s momentum carried her past me. Before she could turn, my sword was out and the tip slashed her between the shoulder blades. She screamed in frustration and pain, falling to the ground just as a guard came running through the brush with his sword drawn.
“What is going on here?” he bellowed.
The bandit rolled over and threw her dagger, burying it in the guard’s sword arm just above the bicep. As the guard’s sword fell and the bandit got to her feet, I acted. I raised the hilt of my sword over my head as I jumped off of the rock, and swung hard as I came down, cleanly removing the bandit’s head. It was over that fast. I was standing over my handiwork, panting for breath. Something was puzzling me. What? The guard was on his knees, grimacing as he removed the dagger.
Child?“Are you ok?” I asked the guard.
“Yes, but you are coming with me,” he grunted as he came to his feet, “Come on now. I need to have this tended to.”
I wiped the blade of my sword on the bandit’s greaves, sheathed it, and followed the guard. I still felt puzzled, like I had missed something. As we approached the gate, another guard came through. He saw the blood on my escort’s arm and his eyes went wide.
“Rantus, take this fellow’s statement. I’m on my way to the healer. Oh…there is a dead Dunmer just outside the wall, likely a bandit. When you are finished with him, see that it is taken care of,” ordered the wounded guard.
“Yes sir,” Rantus said, and then turned to me. “Okay, let’s hear it. What happened out there?”
I quickly removed my fur helmet, trying to show respect. I looked at it in my hands…
What am I missing?Then it hit me! That bandit was going to kill a child!
“Dying time is here, child”, she had said. I was horrified. She couldn’t see my ears and thought I was a
child!
“She was going to kill a child!” I blurted out.
“What? What child? Start from the beginning, Bosmer,” Rantus insisted.
If you mention the mine, you won’t be able to go back to it later…“Oh…sorry. There was no child. She…the bandit…thought I was a child. You see, I was out for a morning stroll, and this bandit jumped out from behind a boulder…”
I told the guard in detail exactly what happened, leaving the mine out of the story. When I finished, Rantus asked where I was staying. When I responded, he told me to return to the inn and not to leave until he had verified everything, and that someone would be by to see me. I assured him that I would comply and we parted.
That woman was going to kill a child! What kind of person murders children?The horror in my thoughts turned to icy rage in my veins. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble killing bandits from now on…
Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 5 2011, 05:56 PM
The moral struggle here over preemptive strikes is very effective.
Being mistaken for a child is a great way to resolve that. Yes, that bandit was going to kill a child. Never mind that Talendor is not a child.
This has been great so far, and I apologize for not commenting sooner. I like to see how a story develops before I start jumping in. Good job!
Posted by: Grits Feb 5 2011, 11:05 PM
And now, Talendor was heading to the inn after selling his rat...
You had me laughing before the chapter even started. Nice!
The whole exchange between Talendor and Honditar was priceless. I can just see Talendor irrepressibly swinging his feet and the Altmer frowning down at him.
Posted by: Acadian Feb 6 2011, 03:30 AM
I agree that the first scene was a delightful exchange between Talendor and Honditar.
'They will kill you on sight, so you must do the same,” . . .
Look at it like…like you are performing a service. These are bad people, Talendor. They have wronged others and gotten away with it. Most of their victims were probably murdered when they were robbed. You would be serving justice.'
Buffy just checked her doctrine. You're cleared hot, Talendor! You can trust her on this; she lives or dies by the preemptive strike. She's quite surprised that you actually got good advice from Honditar!
The second scene involving the mine/bandit/guards was equally priceless. I am quite growing to love your adorable little elf!
Posted by: mALX Feb 6 2011, 04:04 PM
I am still wondering if Honditar is really claustrophobic (sp?) or if there is another reason he had Talendor do that mine. Loved the little twist where she thought he was a child! Without another word we know Talendor is short now - and how he came to realize that the bandit was willing to kill a child ("What am I missing here?" - that was perfect for realism that he had to think over the situation before it hit him. Great Write !!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 7 2011, 05:57 PM
First, to the authors of Buffy the Bowgirl, A New Sun Rises, Jerric's Story, and Old Habits Die Hard...I have been reading these amazing works, but I am refraining from posting until I have caught up with the posts. That will be some time from now for 3 of the 4 because I joined so late. But cudos to you all for your great writing! 
@ h.e.rider - Welcome and thanks!
No need for apologies. The crazed child-killer is indeed going to ease the moral implications for Talendor.
@ grits - Talendor's impulsive interuptions are fun for me because I deal with subordinates at work that act the same way!
@ Acadian - Talendor thanks Buffy for the thumbs up on preemptive strikes. We are also glad that you two have found a place in your heart for him.
@ mALX - As far as we know, Honditar is telling the truth. Yes, Talendor is short, but he feels that the world is big rather than he is small.
@ All - As always, thanks for the compliments and support. And thanks also for giving me a red envelope to open!
On to the next installment...
********************
Chapter 7 – Return to the Mine
All of the formalities regarding today’s incident were completed. I was not going to be brought up on any charges because it was an obvious case of self-defense. The guard who had come to pass on that information had even thanked me! I was eager to return to the mine. The flame of anger that the child-killer had ignited was becoming a furnace of vengeance that needed to be vented. I waited for a few minutes after the guard had gone, then left the inn. Once again I headed toward the town gates. I tried not to look too anxious or hurried, but the morning was closer to midday now, rather than dawn. I restrained myself to a brisk walk, squelching the urge to jog.
When I finished retracing my steps to the mine entrance, I paused at the door again. I took a deep breath and focused. Slowly this time, I opened the door and crept in, very careful not to alert any denizens of the mine. The arrow that had come inches from ending my stay in this land was still stuck in the door. My pulse was rapid, but my breathing was calm, and my anger had gelled into palpable purpose. I waited a few moments, allowing my eyes to adjust to the darker surroundings. I was in a short tunnel that led to a room with a small fire burning in its center. Creeping as quietly as I could, I surveyed the room. There was a chest set to one side. It was locked, so I fished out a lock pick and went to work on it. I heard the annoying snap of the pick’s tooth breaking, and dug out another. After one more broken pick, it opened on the third try. There were six gold coins lying in the bottom of the chest, as if they had been left behind by accident.
I sure hope this isn’t Honditar’s idea of ‘more to be had’. This won’t even buy a meal…
Stay focused knot-head!I proceeded to a closed door opposite of where I had entered the room. I drew out my bow and pulled an arrow from my quiver. I nocked the arrow, putting minimal pressure against the bowstring, and then I pushed the door gently and it swung open. As I did, a shape walked into view. I raised my bow, drew the arrow back, aimed and released. With a grunt, the shape was knocked backward and went down, never knowing what hit it. I retreated a few steps, setting another arrow and listening for any noise at all. Satisfied with the silence, I went through the door. I stepped on something that made a metallic *
clank*, and saw movement above and ahead of me. I dodged to the side as quickly as I could, but excruciating pain raced through my shoulder. The force of whatever had hit me spun me around violently, and stars flashed as my head met with the hard rock wall. A million stars became darkness…
* * *
I had no idea how much time had passed when I opened my eyes. My ears were still ringing and I could taste coppery liquid in my mouth. I moved my tongue and winced. Apparently I had bitten it rather hard. Memory of where I was suddenly returned and despite the pain, I jumped to my feet. There was no sound other than the ambient noises of the mine. I relaxed my vigilance long enough to utter the odd sounding word that brought on white light and the amazing healing effect. The immediate tangible health relieved my head, shoulder, and tongue.
I looked at a spiked iron ball hanging from a chain, and at the pressure plate that I had stepped on. A painful lesson learned. The tenants weren’t the only things to be wary of in here. I looked at the dead shape, discovering that it was indeed a bandit. Retrieving the arrow would require surgery to remove it undamaged, so I just left him lying there with a feathery flower protruding from his chest. There was another chest in this room. I picked the lock cleanly on the first attempt, gaining 12 more Septims and a lock pick.
There were two passages leading further into the mine. I chose the one on left, but soon heard voices, so I back tracked to the other passage. I followed the serpentine tunnel to another closed door. I could hear voices from the other side and see movement through the slits between the door planks. I leaned toward the door and peered through the crack. There were two bandits in the next room. As I watched, one left the room through another passage. This was my chance. I backed away, setting an arrow. I pulled back the bowstring and shoved the door with my foot. As soon as the door was open far enough, I laid out the killer of children with a shot to its breastbone. Without hesitating, I readied another shot and silently headed down the passage that the other bandit had entered. A silent shot dropped this one as well.
With these tactics, I continued through the bandit lair, sending three more child-killers to the netherworld. I found a couple more chests with cash and some potions. One chest had a peculiar type of large gemstone. It was pale blue with a slight glow at the center. I also encountered two more traps. The first I set off by stepping through a trip wire, but because I was moving so slowly, the oversized flail missed its intended target. The second trap must have been set by a complete knot-head. The trip wire was totally visible under the light of a lantern. I simply stepped over it. This led to a chamber that had a curved stone wall.
Could this be the foundation of Chorrol’s town wall?The large chamber had the look of a camp. Tents were pitched and a fire was glowing in the center. Movement caught my eye and I shot the bandit before he could realize I was in the room. I missed his vitals and he was only staggered. He yelled and drew his weapon. Another shot finished him off before he could close half the distance. I searched the rest of the room. Someone had been digging at the far end. I could see where they had broken through the rocks into what looked like sewers.
Satisfied that there were no more enemies about, I slung my bow and drew a torch out of my satchel. I lit it with the campfire and saw one last chest between the tents. It yielded a pouch with thirty Septims, another potion, and a jeweled ring. The tents had bedrolls in them. Thinking that a bedroll might be useful someday, I helped myself to one of them. I walked over to the dead bandit and retrieved the two arrows that had been his undoing.
“Take
that, you child-killing piece of offal,” I said aloud, and then stared at the dead bandit for a moment.
You are serving justice. Even better, you are serving it anonymously…seeking no glory.Honditar was right. I did feel like I had served justice where it was needed. And I wanted no glory, but I felt the need to leave some kind of sign that I had gained vengeance for a dead child somewhere. A thought came that made me chuckle, and I removed the bandit’s boots and placed them in my satchel. Any bandits I brought to justice would have to run shoeless through the netherworld if they were bent on chasing children.
May the netherworld be paved with shards of glass.Leaving the camp chamber, I again noticed the trip wire that was there for all to see. When I passed it, I drew my sword and stretched my sword arm to be as far from the wire as possible, then set off the trap. Several heavy logs tumbled from above, crashing down to where someone would have been standing if they had set it off as intended. No one would need to worry about that now.
With the lit torch, I took a closer look at the surroundings during the walk back to the entrance. I checked for additional valuables in any barrels or crates that were not smashed, but there were none. I also took the boots from all of the dead bandits along the way, sarcastically saying
'dying time is here' more than once as I did. I doused the torch when I reached the entrance and stepped outside. Night had fallen and stars studded the sky in the gaps between the clouds. I was either unconscious for longer than I thought, or stealthily creeping through abandoned mines took a long time. Either way meant that it was time to get back to the inn.
When I entered the common room, I walked to the bar and set my satchel on a stool. I dug around the boots and pulled out thirty Septims.
“This is for the next three nights, Talasma,” I said as I laid them on the bar.
“Thank you,” Talasma said, “So, Talendor, did you find work as a cobbler?” She asked with a grin as she noticed all of the boots in my satchel.
I laughed heartily, then said, “No, but tomorrow I am going to be a shoe salesman,” and burst out with more laughter as I walked up to my room. When I closed the room door behind me, I dumped the contents of the satchel on my bed. Between the cash, and what I could make selling the potions and boots, I did pretty well for myself. I would need to speak to Honditar about telling me where more of these mines were located. I organized all of my loot, stripped and washed at the basin, and went to bed. I was grinning and chuckling up to the moment that sleep took me.
********************
EDIT - Picked a nit.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 7 2011, 06:48 PM
Great vengeance segment! But I'm not sure I'd be so quick to label all bandits as child-killers on the basis of one Dunmer umbrella seller who's likely off her rocker. Still, it was a good excuse to go in there and get rid of all of them!
However, I'm with SubRosa on that the game devs kind of blew it a little by making all bandits homicidal maniacs. IRL most bandits were forced into banditry due to unfortunate circumstances and crushing poverty. I've been thinking of working a little bit of that into my fiction, and have a great idea how to do it. We'll see. Anyways, your choice on whether or not to take that into consideration, or stick pretty closely to the game mechanics and its often glaring inconsistencies.
Anyway, I did see one nit:
QUOTE
May the netherworld would be paved with shards of glass.
Looks like you meant to remove this during a rewrite?
Keep it up!
Posted by: Acadian Feb 8 2011, 03:09 AM
I suspect Talendor is not at his best toe-to-toe. He hasn't the stones or steel to declare himself and survive if he is wrong. Therefore he has to make choices that often involve striking preemptively to survive. The bandit that attacked him condemned all her kind to no warning, no quarter. Buffy understands this perfectly. Now, that said, I certainly think the game would be improved if occasionally a bandit decided he was outmatched and ran. I believe such is unlikely versus a fragile wood elven hero or heroine however. Now, against the katanas of a mighty Redguard heroine, were I a bandit, I would indeed flee!
'A million stars became darkness…'
This is beautiful!
Grabbing a bedroll! What a great idea, and they are so handy.
So, Talendor emerges with a fistful of septims and a bag full of boots after inflicting everlasting barefoot doom upon his foes.
'Night had fallen and stars studded the sky in the gaps between the clouds.'
This also is beautiful. It paints a perfect and clear picture in very few words.
Posted by: mALX Feb 8 2011, 07:39 AM
Beautiful descriptive phrases - and the Talendor gets some of his self respect back with the revenge and Septims in his pocket - Awesome Write !!!!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 9 2011, 06:33 PM
Another couple days have come and gone...time flies when you're having fun
RE: Homicidal maniacs that don't run away...I agree whole-heartedly that the devs dropped the ball here. At times, human enemies will in fact retreat, but unfortunately it is only temporary. Without spoiling future posts, suffice it to say that Talendor will find some compassion. The only reason I know this is because I have already written it. 
@ h.e.rider - Thanks for the nit (picked)
. So far, Talendor has only had limited exposure to bandits. Since the first one was an admitted child killer...well, if it walks like a duck...
@ Acadian - You are correct. Talendor would prefer to strike from a distance and remain unscathed...for now...because it hurts!
@ mALX - Relief from poverty!
Visions of homelessness are gone!
@ All of you - Thanks again for your comments and support!
********************
Chapter 8 – Honditar’s Offer
I awoke feeling in better spirits than I had the past few days, eager to get to today’s tasks. I got up and washed my face, pausing again to look at the unfamiliar face framed by those impossible ears staring back from the basin. Sighing, I got dressed and placed my armor and weapons at the foot of the bed. Gathering up all of the loot from yesterday, I shouldered my satchel and went down to the common room. Talasma bid me a good day and I ordered some breakfast. While eating, I planned out my day. I knew where I could sell the boots and shields that I had purloined from the deceased child-killers. However, I wasn’t sure about the odd gem and potions. I asked Talasma where might be a good place to sell these items.
“Well, this one would suggest the Mages Guild. Seed-Neeus over at Northern Goods & Trade would likely purchase them as well. If none of them are interested, then come back and see me,” she replied.
“Talasma, if I knew you better, I’d scratch you behind your ears,” I said grinning.
“You keep that room rented and Talasma will remain helpful, despite the pet cat joke that I’ve
never heard before,” she said, the last part dripping with sarcasm and punctuated with a roll of her eyes, and then she added that the breakfast would be ten Septims.
I finished eating, paid for the meal, and left. I saw Northern Goods across the street and decided to go there first instead of the Mages Guild. When I entered, an Argonian female walked right up to me and spoke.
“Hello. I don’t think we’ve met. Are you new in town?” She said very pleasantly.
“I am indeed. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I replied.
“Likewise! I am certain that my mother will be glad to meet you as well,” she said jovially.
“Your mother?” I asked.
“Yes. She is the owner of this shop. My name is Dar-Ma.”
“Talendor,” I said with a slight bow, “and I have already met your mother. She seems like a very nice liz…umm…lady. I was just about to see her.”
“Well, let’s not keep you then,” she said and practically bounced up the stairs. I followed and found Seed-Neeus at her usual station.
“Good morning. I just made your daughter’s acquaintance,” I told her.
“Dar-Ma here is the best daughter a mother could ask for, kind hearted and a friend to everyone she meets,” she said, and then she gestured to my satchel as she continued, “Have you brought me more rats? They had better be cleaned this time.”
“Actually, I have some potions I would like to sell,” I said. I fished out the small vials, almost knocking the blue gem out of the satchel, and handed them over for her to inspect.
“These are actually poisons, not potions. See the green color of the liquid? It’s a dead giveaway. I’ll give you five Septims each. But I noticed an oval shaped stone in your bag there. May I see it?”
“I was going to inquire about that as well,” I said as I reached into the satchel and pulled out the pale blue stone. Her eyes widened as I handed it to her.
“This is a Soul Gem. A petty Soul Gem, if I am correct. Do you see this slight glow in the center? That means that there is a soul trapped within it. I don’t get many of these. Would you part with it for say, twenty-two Septims?”
I agreed to her price and then told her that I also had a ring I would be willing to sell. She paid another nine gold pieces for it. With our business concluded, I bid farewell to the ladies and left. Forty-six Septims richer, I walked over to Fire & Steel, grinning the whole way. When I arrived, I found the store closed. Shrugging, I decided to walk up to the great oak tree in the cul de sac at the end of the lane. There were benches arrayed around the trunk and I took a seat.
I pondered my situation as I waited for the smith’s shop to open. I was no closer to solving the riddle of my current dilemma. At least I had a
name to confer to people, but I was still clueless as to whom I
really might be, and how I came to be in this land. I was managing to fit in, but some of the lessons had been painful, literally. The most confusing part was my familiarity with some aspects, like using a bow and incanting amazing powers. As soon as I was concluded with the selling of my loot, I would seek out Honditar. Perhaps he would have some answers for me. Looking down the lane, I noticed a woman come out of Fire & Steel to shake out a small rug. I got up and walked to the store. When I went in, the woman I had seen greeted me.
“Hello. I am Rasheda – the smith – and this is Fire and Steel. I have quality weapons and armor, and I can repair your gear as well. What can I do for you?” she said with a smile. She reminded me a little of Rohssan in Imperial City. Well muscled for a woman, with her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a leather blacksmith’s apron over her stained shirt and trousers.
“I recently came across these boots and shields while…on an excursion…and would like to sell them,” I said.
She examined them and offered twelve Septims for the six pairs of boots and two fur shields. I frowned a little, expecting they would bring in more than that, but agreed to her offer. She paid me and I thanked her. Leaving the shop, I set out to find Honditar. I had been up by the great oak when I met him for the first time, so I went back to the benches by the tree. My wait was a short one, because about ten minutes later, Honditar rounded the corner by the inn and headed toward me. I got up to intercept him.
“Good morning Honditar,” I said when we met in the street.
“And salutations to you as well, my new Bosmer friend. So, did you take my advice and search Crumbling Mine?”
“Well, that’s a story. Is there somewhere we can talk?” I asked.
“We could go to the inn, or sit on the benches near the oak,” he replied.
“I would prefer somewhere more private.”
“We could go to your room, I suppose. That might start some pretty ugly rumors though. Tell you what, let’s go to my place. We can talk over some mulled cider,” he offered.
“That sounds fine,” I replied, and we headed for the town gates.
Honditar’s house was little more than a shack just outside the town walls. Despite its outward appearance, the interior was clean, with a frugal, rustic décor. No frills, just the creature comforts of a bachelor’s domicile. Stag heads on the walls attested to his hunting ability. He poured some cider into an iron pot and hooked it on a rod over the glowing coals in his fireplace.
“Please, have a seat,” he said, motioning to the bench in front of the table.
I placed my satchel by the door and sat down. The aroma of apples and cinnamon began to fill the air as he grabbed a couple of cups from a shelf and placed them on the table. Then he placed some sliced cheese on a plate and set it on the table as well. Lastly, he wrapped his hand with a cloth and removed the pot from the fireplace. He filled the cups with the steaming brew as he sat.
“Okay then, what did you wish to discuss that we could not talk about in the open?” Honditar inquired.
“This is going to sound crazy, but please hear me out to the end,” I said.
I wasn’t sure I was making the right decision, but I needed help, and Honditar was the only person to date that had called me a friend. I spilled the whole story. My waking in the cell, my amnesia, my belief that I was smaller than I ought to be, my intuitive knowledge of many things, the Emperor’s death…the whole story right up to my sitting here with him. This took several cups of cider and caused more than one raised eyebrow on Honditar’s face. When I finished, he just sat there for a bit, looking as if he were contemplating whether to believe me or not. Finally, he spoke.
“That is a fantastic tale, Talendor. It does explain why a Bosmer would be asking an Altmer for hunting advice, when normally the opposite would be true. I am afraid that I have no answers for you, but I
can help you. Here is what I will do, and it will not be for free mind you. I expect something in return, but we will negotiate that later. I will be your tutor, for lack of a better word. I will teach you about Tamriel, about her races and cultures, her lands, and most importantly, her dangers. What say you?”
“Are you kidding me? I
knew I could trust you! Of course, the answer is yes. But I have very little money. I made enough to keep me in the inn for a bit, but that’s all,” I replied.
“We can discuss payment as we go along. Your poverty is going to be the first thing that we address. I know of many more locations in this area that will provide for your rise to solvency. You wouldn’t have a map by chance, would you?” he asked.
I reached for my breast pocket and realized that it was still in the breast pocket of my cuirass. When I told him of this, he said to go get it and bring it back here.
“Make haste, so that we may plan your travels for tomorrow and allow you time for sufficient rest,” he said, and rose from the table.
I stood as well and told him I would be right back and left. Walking back to the inn, I was smiling ear to ear. So far, today’s events could not have gone any better!
Posted by: Acadian Feb 10 2011, 01:42 AM
I continue to thoroughly enjoy this! You have hit upon a marvelous combination here between your interesting story and your wonderfully endearing character.
Loved the pet cat joke and Talasma's reaction to it!
I think everyone likes Dar-Ma and it was nice to see her and her mother. Gradually, Talendor's coinpurse is gaining a touch of heft.
A bold move by Talendor to spill his beans to Honditar, but I must agree with the little elf, that getting some 'tutoring' is just what he needs. I really look forward to learning of Honditar's advice. It has to be better than poisoning a deer.
Posted by: mALX Feb 10 2011, 02:29 AM
I'm struggling on whether Honditar can really be trusted, but love the chapter !!!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 11 2011, 11:18 PM
@ Acadian - Talendor did an "aw shucks" at being called 'endearing' and thanks you.
@ mALX - You and Acadian both have questioned Honditar's trustworthiness. Is there something we are missing about the Altmer? He seems like a nice enough guy.
@ Both of you - Thanks as always for your comments and support.
********************
Chapter 9 – Pillaging the Pillaged
I was sprinting by the time I reached the door to The Oak & Crosier. I burst in the door and ran up to my room. After retrieving my map, I headed back for the stairs in a trot. I skidded to a stop when I saw Talasma at the bottom of the stairs. She was holding a small club and tapping the business end into the palm of her other hand. She didn’t look happy with her ears laid back that way.
“Talasma…?”
“If you run in here and fail to close the door just one more time, I will thump you like this one thumps anyone else that breaks the rules around here,” she said with a growl.
“I am so sorry. It won’t happen again, Talasma. I promise. Please forgive me,” I said.
“Just you see that it does not. You pay your rent and you eat here, when you could probably do so for less coin at The Gray Mare. But Talasma does not chase flies for anyone, no matter how good a customer they may be,” she finished and stomped away. I stood there and gulped. I would make it up to her with a nice gratuity after my next meal. With the stairs cleared of a potential beating, I headed back out for Honditar’s house, deliberately making a show of closing the door.
Honditar had prepared us a simple lunch of some smoked ham and sliced bread by the time I returned. He motioned toward the table, asking about the map as we sat. I pulled it out and unfolded it, laying it on the table.
“By Zenithar’s Ear!” he said with wide eyes, “Where did you get this map?”
“I found it in the jacket of a book. In Imperial City,” I replied.
“This map is very rare. There were but a few made, and most are lost. This may possibly be the only one left. Do you see this?” he asked, pointing to a highlighted spot on the map. I looked, and then did a double-take as I saw where he was pointing. The highlight I had seen when I originally found the map had moved. It was next to Chorrol now.
“This is an Everfound Map. No matter where you are in Cyrodiil, this map will always show you your location. You will never be lost unless you lose the map. Zenithar has indeed blessed you with this finding,” he said.
“What is a zenithar?” I asked.
He looked confused for a second and then chuckled. “I forget we are truly starting on a clean slate here. Zenithar is one of The Nine Divines. If you receive Zenithar’s Blessing at one of his wayshrines, luck will favor you for a time. That blessing is called ‘Zenithar’s Ear’. We will get to all of that at another time.”
Honditar rose and went to a shelf across the room. When he returned, he had a quill and ink bottle. He sat back down and dipped the quill, then made a mark that looked like crossed pickaxes next to Chorrol on the map.
“This is Crumbling Mine, where you were yesterday. Over here…” he said while dipping his quill again, “is Pillaged Mine. This is where you will go next. It is close by and…well…
convenient might not be the right word. It is likely to be inhabited by goblins.”
“Goblins…?” I gulped. Goblins were the only humanoid creatures I had encountered that were smaller than me, but the memory of the ferocious little creature that had cut me in the Imperial City underground was still vivid.
“Yes, yes. But as long as you stay concealed, they should cause you no undue grief,” he said with a wave of his hand.
“So you mean I should just try to sneak past them?” I asked.
Honditar frowned and said, “Noooo…I mean you send an arrow through its vitals without being seen.”
”Oh…”
“Always remember, Talendor,” he said seriously, “that rushing adrenaline makes any enemy harder to kill. The silent bowshot of stealth always does more damage because the adrenaline has not yet begun to flow. Besides, when you sneak past an enemy on the way into a place, you must sneak past again on the way out. Better to deal with enemies just once. Let’s call that your first lesson, shall we?”
“Okay. But you said that these lessons would not be free. As I’ve said, I have very little cash,” I reminded him.
“For this first lesson, let’s say that you give me one tenth of whatever you gain from Pillaged Mine. That should still leave plenty for you. Oh…and one other thing…should you come across any mushrooms in the mine, harvest and keep them,” he said, rising from the bench.
Ten percent and some fungus seemed more than fair to me.
Goblins….ugh“Are you waiting for the mine to come to
you, Bosmer?” Honditar prompted.
I rose and turned to him, starting to talk before I remembered to look up so that I wasn’t talking to his chest.
“I really
do appreciate this Honditar. I can never fully repay you, and I was in sore need of a friend,” I said from the bottom of my heart.
“You can repay me by staying alive and being an apt pupil. The ten percent is…hmmm…call it a gratuity,” he replied with a grin, “Now off with you. Rest well and get an early start. Aim true and don’t be seen.”
* * *
I awoke at dawn, well rested as Honditar had prescribed. With the ritual of seeing my unknown face in the basin water completed, I dressed for the occasion. I slung my quiver and bow, hung my sword on my cuirass harness, and headed out to begin today’s trek. I left the shield behind because it was bothersome in tight quarters. It seemed to be always in my way while I was in Crumbling Mine.
Once outside the town gates and at the Black Road, I checked where Honditar had marked the map. Due east on the road and I shouldn’t miss it, if his mark is correct. I had no reason to doubt it would be. As I walked toward Pillaged Mine, my heart began trilling again at being outdoors. Almost irresistible urges would come over me.
Run amongst the trees… Jump from boulders to the branches just because you can... Hunt… Lost in these feelings, I almost missed the mine entrance.
Good job at paying attention to your surroundings, you day dreaming knot-head!The entrance was just off the road, true to Honditar’s mark. Heavy timbers braced the entrance. But the sight that chilled my marrow was that of skulls skewered onto pointed stakes that were set in the ground. A skeleton lay in front of the door like a bleached bone warning. The dapples of sunlight dancing across the bones made them appear animated.
Your surroundings have your attention now…I took several deep breaths, steeling myself to become a shadow…a shadow with a true aim. I readied an arrow and entered the mine slowly. I didn’t have to wait long to pull the bowstring back. There was a goblin standing at the end of the passage. If he had remained motionless, I never would have seen him as my eyes adjusted to the change of light. How he didn’t see the door open, I have no clue. His bad luck, as he briefly discovered when my arrow shattered his breastbone. He was unable to relay his bad luck to any nearby comrades.
I crept through the passage soundlessly to the first turn. I poked my head around the corner and saw two more goblins. My first shot took out the closest one, but not quietly enough. The second creature spun and shot toward me, screeching. Honditar was right about the adrenaline, it took two arrows to drop the charging goblin. Once he was down, I listened intently for others. Not hearing any, I entered the first chamber. There was a chest set to one side. It was locked. I decided at that point that I would clear the mine first, and search for loot with a torch on the way back out. Stopping to pick locks might be hazardous to my health. So I left the chest behind and moved on.
I was amazed at how natural the bow was feeling in my hands. Once again, Honditar was right. The goblins weren’t any undue grief. I only had trouble on one occasion when there was more than one together. The third one of that group was the only goblin to feel my blade that day. The rest were alone and never knew what hit them. They received merciful deaths without any of the mercy coming from me.
With the mine cleared, I lit a torch and began my treasure hunt. These creatures didn’t wear boots like child-killing bandits did. But it occurred to me that their weapons must be worth something. So in addition to the loot in the chests, I carried out as many of their rusty excuses for swords, bows and axes as I could. During my investigation, I had come across evidence of how intelligent these goblins might be. Almost every single one of them carried a lock pick. Picking a lock is not the easiest thing to do, so that impressed me. Also, the traps that they set were every bit as good as the ones set by bandits. Some were better.
I reached the mine entrance with a fully loaded satchel, and I had left things behind simply because there was more than I could possibly carry. Dousing the torch, I left the mine. Just as when I left Crumbling Mine, it was full dark. I looked up to see a starless sky and frowned.
Cloudy…some stars would have been nice…I headed back toward Chorrol. There was very little sound. Crickets chirped intermittently in the still night air. Small animals made shuffling noises in the undergrowth. An occasional mockingbird gave a call to the evening. It might as well have been a siren song. I left the road and walked among the trees, casually stroking leaves on low branches as I passed. I felt so at home. When I found a nice level patch of ground under a tree, I stopped. Dropping my satchel, I sank to my knees and ran my fingers through the leaves on the forest floor. I held my hands to my face and inhaled deeply, the amazing aroma of the rich loam was intoxicating as it filled my nostrils. Quickly I made a pile of leaves and laid my bedroll out over them. I slept better that night than any night at The Oak & Crosier.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 12 2011, 12:02 AM
I should have mentioned that I always clear a dungeon before I start looting.
If there's more than one level, I clear the level first, then loot before moving on to the next. That way no one gets the drop on me. It's also easier on my nerves!
I see that Talendor is getting more in touch with his Bosmer nature. And yes, loam and fallen leaves are a truly wonderful smell. Thanks for bringing that back to me as I gaze out the window at six-foot snowdrifts. Though with temps in the '40's predicted for next week, they may not be six-foot much longer . . .
Posted by: Acadian Feb 12 2011, 01:56 AM
To your question, regarding the trustworthiness of Honditar, I suppose I am suspicious of an Altmer who claims to be an archer, yet feels the need to use poison to bag a deer. Nevertheless, he does indeed seem to be issuing some fine advice to knot-head, er, Talendor. Like this:
"Aim true and don’t be seen.”
Fabulous scene with Talasma and her club of door closing!
The Everfound map. I love it.
'Run amongst the trees… Jump from boulders to the branches just because you can... Hunt… '
Ah yes. Talendor certainly is a Bosmer. Reinforced here and again in your wonderful final paragraph.
I think it is wise to respect goblins. They have quite the culture and a notable amount of intelligence. Besides, they have big pointed ears just like us.
Posted by: mALX Feb 12 2011, 02:08 AM
I think it is really well done the way you are having his true inner nature revealing itself in his state of amnesia - and like Naughty Haute, that line hits home to me too about the smell of a rich dark loam, fallen leaves, add grass and green moss and there is no better aroma.
Posted by: Grits Feb 12 2011, 02:39 PM
“If you run in here and fail to close the door just one more time, I will thump you like this one thumps anyone else that breaks the rules around here,” she said with a growl.
Shut the [dang] door, Khajiit style. I love it! And the fact that Talendor leaves it open is somehow charming.
Honditar’s explanation of the stealth damage multiplier goes with the Everfound Map in my favorite interpretations of game mechanics.
How delightful to see Talendor reveling in his wood elf nature!
Posted by: mALX Feb 12 2011, 03:14 PM
QUOTE(Grits @ Feb 12 2011, 08:39 AM)

“If you run in here and fail to close the door just one more time, I will thump you like this one thumps anyone else that breaks the rules around here,” she said with a growl.Shut the [dang] door, Khajiit style. I love it! And the fact that Talendor leaves it open is somehow charming.
Honditar’s explanation of the stealth damage multiplier goes with the Everfound Map in my favorite interpretations of game mechanics. How delightful to see Talendor reveling in his wood elf nature!

I had meant to say something about this in my comment as well, I was impressed by both, but especially the stealth damage multiplier - awesome details that most (including me) elide over - Awesome addition to the story!!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 13 2011, 10:27 PM
@ All - I noticed a common theme in the comments, and yes indeed, Talendor is getting in touch with his inner Bosmer.
As usual, thanks to all for your comments and support.
@ h.e.rider - Sorry about your forest floor being buried in six foot drifts...but the vernal equinox fast approaches. Going to be in the 60's here all week!
@ Acadian - Talendor, not knowing any better, actually thought the poison idea was a good one.
@ mALX - The game mechanics took some real thought as to how to relate them in a believable way. Thanks!
@ grits - Being a cat owner, playing with Talasma has been a blast.
It was so easy to picture her looking angry.
Thanks again everyone...
********************
Chapter 10 – Continuing Education
The birds woke me with their morning choir. I laid there and reveled silently in the concert of tweets and chirps from starlings, cardinals, and sparrows, accented with an occasional screech from a jaybird. All fears and worries had left me for the moment. I felt renewed, as if something in the night had whisked all my burdens away. I sat up and looked around. The morning had dawned cloudless. A light mist hugged the ground, heavier in the hollows. And then I saw him. Standing not more than fifteen yards away was a large stag. I slowly reached for my bow and quiver. With my shot readied, I drew back the bowstring…and eased the tension back off without releasing the arrow. As badly as I wanted to take the deer, I couldn’t introduce violence into such a perfect morning. The stag bounded away the moment I stood up. I watched in awe as it vanished from my sight in a series of majestic leaps.
I gathered all of my gear and made my way back to Chorrol. When I reached the inn, I bade good morning to Talasma and went up to my room. It was still early, so I had time to sort through my loot before the shops would open. First I separated the coins. I counted one hundred twenty-two in all. Not bad, I thought with a smile. Then I set Honditar’s mushrooms aside since I wouldn’t be selling those. Two pieces of jewelry, a silver nugget, three bows with rusted iron ears, a short iron sword and iron axe that were equally as rusty. I placed these items in my ‘for sale’ pile. I looked at the pile of lock picks. I had accumulated quite a few, dating back to the beginning of my adventure in the Imperial underground.
I wonder if Seed-Neeus will buy these too…I set twenty of the picks aside and tossed the rest in the ‘for sale’ pile. That looked like everything. I put all of the saleable items back into the satchel. The coins I placed in my coin purse and the mushrooms into a separate pocket inside the satchel. With all of that completed, I washed and changed, then went downstairs for breakfast. After finishing, I laid eighty Septims on the bar.
“This is for the breakfast and one week’s rent on the room,” I said.
“Well, well, well. It seems that shoe selling is profitable, eh? This one wishes that all of my tenants were as forthcoming with their rent,” she replied with a smile.
“It’s my pleasure, Talasma,” I replied, returning her smile.
I went out and started my rounds to the shops. When all was said and done, the mine expedition had netted me three hundred and twelve Septims, after taking out Honditar’s share. I was positively jovial when I knocked on Honditar’s door.
“Well, good morning Talendor,” he said and showed me in, “Come in, sit, tell me about Pillaged Mine.”
I gave him a narrative of the yesterday’s events while he prepared some tea. He gave me the ‘I told you so’ nods at the appropriate times in the story, and what looked like a glower of disapproval when I told of the goblin that I had dispatched with my sword. He withheld comment until I had finished.
“I want you to leave your sword behind next time,” he said.
“Why?” I asked, “I needed it. That third goblin was on top of me before I could ready a shot.”
“You didn’t
need it. You should never
need it. You are Bosmer. Have you not felt how natural the bow feels to you?”
He had me there…He rose, walked over and picked up my bow, then told me to stand. I complied and he handed me the dagger that was sheathed at his belt.
“The bow is your true first and best weapon. It is more than just a launcher of arrows. Come at me with the dagger,” he said. I did so and he deftly parried the thrust.
“It is a shield,” he said, then swung the bow low and cracked me across the shins.
“It is a quarter-staff,” he continued, and then poked me in the gut as I was doubled over from the shin whacking.
“It is even a lance if the target is soft enough. I have known archers that sharpen the ears of their bows for just that purpose. You could have avoided using the sword by blocking, cracking the critter in the skull, and then retreating while you readied your next shot. If you carry a sword, you will come to rely on it, when you need to be relying on your bow.”
He paused, as if to let that sink in, and then continued, “So…no sword next time. Now do you want to learn or argue? You can’t do both.”
Wincing from the knots on my shins and pain in my gut, I assured him that I did not wish to argue.
“Okay. There is not much time until midday, so sit back down and just listen to what I tell you, since you now seem prepared to learn. I am sure you have probably seen most of the races of Cyrodiil in your brief time with us. Let’s talk about that for a while,” he said, and went on to tell me about Nirn, Tamriel, and Cyrodiil. The Altmer gave me brief descriptions of the different races that inhabit Cyrodiil, including abbreviated histories of men, elves (which he called ‘mer’), and the beast-like races. He explained the calendar, familiarizing me with the names of the days and months. Lastly, Honditar spoke of the cities that were the regional seats of government in the nine counties of the province, and a bit about the terrain of the various regions.
When he finished, he sent me back to the inn to get my field gear, asking for his percentage of my take from Pillaged Mine before I left. He also said to purchase provisions on my way back. I took that to mean the next destination was going to be farther away. It was well after midday when I returned, equipped just as I was the day before. He frowned when he saw the sword, but said nothing about it. He had sandwiches of meat and cheese ready on the table.
“Place your weapons by the door. We will go over the map while we eat,” he said.
I did so and sat down, handing the map to Honditar. He opened it and laid it on the table. The food was delicious. I wasn’t sure what kind of meat it was, but the seasoning was to
die for. And the cheese…tangy sharp that seemed to melt in your mouth as you ate it. I was wolfing the stuff down when Honditar cleared his throat.
“Perhaps you would prefer to discuss the map
after lunch?” he quipped with an arched eyebrow.
“Sorry…” I said, spewing a couple bread crumbs onto the map.
“You would do better to lengthen your attention span,” he sighed and rolled his eyes.
After brushing the bread crumbs away, he took a dipped quill and marked what looked like an upside-down ‘U’ on the map and informed me that this was the next destination. He called it Broken Promises Cave and said it was another bandit den.
“Filthy child-killers…” I blurted out with more force than I had intended and showering him with bread crumbs.
Looks like I’ll be selling some more boots…Honditar scowled as he brushed himself off and said, “Is there no stopping you from your lapses of attention?”
I just shut up without bothering to apologize again.
“Well if there is…I’d like to show you something else.” He folded the map and grabbed a mortar and pestle from the shelf. “Where are the mushrooms I asked you to harvest?”
I pulled them out, including one that I had found under the Imperial City. It was starting to become a gooey mess. He took them and sorted them by type, the gooey one looking pathetic by itself. I received a quick and brief lesson in rudimentary alchemy. I started to say that I had already used a mortar and pestle, but kept my lips shut by biting them.
“Wisp stalks, nightshade, and stinkhorn,” he was saying as he pointed to the thin stalked white mushrooms, “Use any two for your poison. Cairn bolete and lady’s mantle for healing. In a pinch, you can use venison with cairn bolete. Being hungry is better than being dead. It is a good idea to keep a mortar and pestle with you. Having one with me has saved my life on more than one occasion. That is enough to get you started.”
“Again, I can’t thank you enough. It is nearing sundown, so I better get back to the inn and rest up for tomorrow,” I said, standing up and heading for the door.
“Tomorrow…? No, no, no. You leave this very moment. We already know you can travel by day,” Honditar said. I stared at him for a moment, my jaw hanging open.
Now I know why he asked me to get provisions before returning today… Travel at night? Really?“Now…?”
“Yes…now. And Talendor,” he said, pointing to the dagger on the table, “take this and leave the sword here.”
Taking the dagger, I did as he said and left the sword leaning against the wall as I exited. The sun was low in the west behind piling thunderheads. Occasional lightning flashes illuminated the clouds, but they were too distant to hear any thunder. I wasn’t crazy about traveling at night, and even less thrilled with the thought of traveling in stormy weather, but I trusted Honditar. I’m sure there was a good reason for this.
I started walking west on the Black Road. Once I reached Pillaged Mine, I turned southwest into the wilderness toward Broken Promises Cave. That exhilaration at being in the woods was coursing through my veins again. Honditar had explained that this was part of my Bosmer heritage. He said that I would always feel better and be at my best while in the forests. The way I felt at that moment, I was in no position to argue. It was truly amazing to me, and I relished every second of it.
I took out my bow once the road was out of sight. I hoped I would see some deer before it became too dark to hunt. Suddenly a wolf sprang from the brush, ahead and to my left. I reached for my sword only to remember too late that it was leaning against Honditar’s wall. That gave the wolf time to launch itself at my throat. I ducked and rolled, getting a scratch across my ear from its hind leg. I was back on my feet with an arrow readied in an instant, searching for the wolf. The failing light and thick brush made it impossible to see the wolf until it launched again. My arrow met its chest in mid flight and I sidestepped as the beast tumbled past, yelping like puppy that had had its nose thumped. Another arrow silenced the wolf.
Warm liquid from my ear had made its way to my neck as I walked over to the dead wolf and retrieved my arrows. A healing potion took care of the bleeding. Thunder pealed, announcing that the storms would soon be upon me. I quickly used Honditar’s dagger to skin the wolf, placing the pelt in my satchel. I scanned the area as the first fat raindrops began to fall in the increasing wind. I found a large boulder that had an overhang. I made for the cover and ducked under it just in time to keep from getting drenched. Satisfied that I would stay moderately dry, I unrolled my bedroll and waited out the storm.
Posted by: Acadian Feb 14 2011, 01:59 AM
Another enjoyable chapter. The lessons continue and Talendor is feeling ever more comfortable in the forest.
Talsama continues to be a treat of course, while Talendor is gradually beginning to get a fat coinpurse.
You are winning me over on Honditar. His history and alchemy lessons, combined with his no nonsense style is wonderfully effective in contrast to our wonderful little woodster.
Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 14 2011, 09:17 AM
Greetings, Talendor! Glad to see there is yet another Bosmer around here unfamiliar with his surroundings (quick preview: the next series of Chapters in DF will touch upon this).
So, I'm all caught up now, and you've got me hooked!
QUOTE
The birds woke me with their morning choir. I laid there and reveled silently in the concert of tweets and chirps from starlings, cardinals, and sparrows, accented with an occasional screech from a jaybird.
Isn't life great when things can be as simple as just settling into your bedroll and listening to the joyful trilling of the birds?
Talendor's amnesia is being handled very well. You've used it as an instrument of evolution in a most excellent manner, bringing me to like this knot-headed tree-hugger!
As for Honditar (or is it Orintur? High Elf names are so confuzzling sometimes

) he is proving himself a very good asset to helping get Talendor off on an even keel... I still don't know if I trust him, though. Must be his demeanor. But still, he's being very good to Talendor, so I'll give him a chance.
Looking forward to reading more!
Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 14 2011, 07:10 PM
Okay, caught up on this one as well.
Let me just say, your use of the amnesiac is a great take on Oblivion, and it's a very interesting way of framing the story. Talendor's own quest to name himself was an excellent touch. His dealings with Honditar and learning the difficulties of the hunt were amazing, and brought to mind my own miserable attempts the first time I went after a white-tail. Frustration doesn't even begin to describe it.
I enjoyed the recent chapter, excellent use of dialogue between Honditar and Talendor.
Nit:
QUOTE
“Yes…now. And Talendor,” he said, pointing to the dagger on the table, “take this and leave the sword here.”
The use of the ellipsis (three periods in a row) between "Yes" and "now" suggests that Honditar was intentionally omitting something, or taking a moment to choose his next words. It that was intended, it's fine. If it was just supposed to be a brief beat-pause in Honditar's dialogue, use the comma instead.
Posted by: Grits Feb 15 2011, 04:05 AM
The scene with the stag was enthralling. Talendor spraying breadcrumbs was hilarious. Looking forward to Broken Promises cave, I don’t think I’ve ever been in there.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 16 2011, 01:26 AM
@ Acadian - Glad to see you're starting to trust Honditar. Hopefully he can keep the trust he has earned.
@ T.K. - Welcome aboard! I hope you are enjoying it half as much as I am enjoying Derelas' story. Part of chosing amnesia as a vehicle was pure laziness on my part. I didn't have to coem up with a back story...right away at least.
@ Cap'n Hammer - Welcome as well! The other aspect of using amnesia is that it makes it easy to give a take on game mechanics, as if they're being seen for the first time. And ditto for me regarding trying to kill a deer for the first time in game. They kept running away!
RE: Ellipsis and the use of them, I have been puzzling over that a little. They are indeed meant to be a brief pause for effect. My rationale has been that a comma would be the shortest pause, next would be a period and starting a new sentence, and the longest being the ellipsis. Pauses longer than that would likely have text explaining the reason for a pause between closed and open quotes. I'll also use the ellipsis for trailing off. My take may be wrong on all of this. Thank you for pointing it out. It gives me cause for research.
@ grits - Talendor really wanted that deer! He hasn't killed anything "hunting" yet, except that rat!
But the timing wasn't right...he couldn't do it.
@ Everyone - Thanks as always for your comments and support.
********************
Chapter 11 – Broken Promises
The easing storm had brought me back from drifting into a nap with a last peal of thunder. The wind had calmed to a breeze and the rain had lessened from a deluge to a steady soaker. I lay on my bedroll in the dark for a while, going over the bow techniques that Honditar had showed me. The wolf fight nagged at me. I had reached for my sword. That momentary delay had almost cost me my throat. I made myself a promise, lying next to that boulder. I would concentrate on my bow and forget about bladed weapons.
But the blade feels as natural to you as the bow does…I could not deny that thought. Ever since the cell, I had reflexively reached for the blade when I needed defense. For that matter, it was my sword that had ended my first encounter with a child-killer. Somehow, I knew how to use the bloody thing. Maybe if I find one in the cave, I’ll just keep it.
Hey…knot-head…You know more than Honditar now? I don’t think so…That was another undeniable thought. I shook my head and reaffirmed my self-promise. No swords. Tired of debating with myself, I rose and gathered my gear. I didn’t relish walking in the rain at night, but I had grown restless. I walked to the nearest tree and checked for moss to get my bearings. Once I did, I pulled out the map and chose my direction.
After a mile or so, I reached a stand of spruce trees. There was immediate relief from the soaking rain once I was beneath the low canopy. I paused here for a few minutes to rest my eyes from squinting against the rain. The spruce boughs had kept the ground relatively dry here. It would make an ideal campsite for the return trip. I could hear the rain slowing to a drizzle as I stood there. It was time to get moving again.
It must have been getting close to dawn because the area was noticeably better lit when I emerged from the trees. But what really caught my eye was a deer silhouetted against a pale boulder. I stopped and crouched slowly, readying an arrow shot. I began a steady inhale timed with drawing back the bowstring, accounted for the drop and let the arrow fly. I lost sight of it in the dim light, but was rewarded with seeing the deer tumble up against the boulder. I leaped into the air, pumping my fist, and started toward my kill…then froze. A fair sized gray animal had reached the deer and was starting to eat it! I sent an arrow into the deer thief as fast as I could. It barked and ran off just as a red-hot poker lanced my thigh and knocked me down. I looked at my leg and saw that it had sprouted a shaft with feathers on the end of it.
“Die, fetcher!” came a cry from the unseen archer in the general direction of where the deer lay. I retreated into the spruce trees as fast as my wounded leg would allow and got my back against a central tree trunk. Panting and wincing from the pain, I readied an arrow. I hoped the archer would blunder through the boughs in pursuit. I waited until I heard the branches rustle, and then turned from behind the tree, aimed and shot. The arrowhead shattered the bandit’s nose bridge on its way through the back of his skull, knocking my attacker out of his boots.
“Arrrggggh!” I screamed through clenched teeth. I dropped to my knees and looked at my wound. The arrow had passed all the way through, its glistening head pointing behind me. My thigh was bleeding profusely. I removed the dagger from my belt and cut the shaft behind the arrowhead, yelling with fresh pain as I did. On the ebb of that pain came one more wave as I removed the severed shaft from my leg. My vision was beginning to swim. I fumbled through my satchel for healing potions and drank two of them down as fast as I could open them. Warm healing surges washed through me as I passed out.
* * *
I opened my eyes to a lattice of spruce branches above my head. It seemed that I was only out for a few minutes. Feeling my leg, I confirmed this by finding blood still wet on my greaves. I sat up and saw the bandit lying barefoot with an arrow through his face. I looked back at my leg and marveled again at the power of the healing potion. Getting to my feet, I walked over and collected the bandit’s boots.
“Thanks for getting out of these for me,
fetcher,” I said, shaking the boots at the corpse on my way out of the trees. It was only marginally brighter out, reconfirming that I was unconscious for just a few minutes. I walked over to the deer and hastily field dressed it. I wasted a lot of meat, taking only a couple pounds of the venison, but I was in a hurry. I had no idea if there might be other enemies in the area. About twenty feet away was a dead dog with an arrow in its neck. I went over to it and recovered the arrow, then continued toward the cave entrance.
The pre-dawn light was helpful as I entered Broken Promises. I was able to remain undetected by enemies as I closed the door behind me. There were two bandits in the first room I snuck into. They were talking to each other. Oddly enough, they were talking about the same subjects I had heard discussed while walking the streets of Chorrol. It was like they were out for a stroll on a sunny day. I hoped they would split up, but grew impatient. I sent one bandit strolling backward and ended its sunny days. The other turned and drew its weapon, yelling that same absurd phrase, “Die, fetcher!” Two shots later, he was strolling with his companion again.
I walked over and pulled my arrows from the would-be fetcher-killer. He was a dark elf…Dunmer is what Honditar had called them. The dead archer outside had also been a dark elf.
Maybe ‘fetcher’ is what the Dunmer called children…The rest of what I have grown to think of as the ‘cave cleaning’ went smoothly. Only one other bandit had to endure the pain of a second arrow. The rest entered eternal sleep completely by surprise. After the last bandit had fallen, I slung my bow and lit a torch. I had treated this cave just as I had treated Pillaged Mine, waiting to search for and gather loot until all enemies were dead. I yawned and rubbed my eyes. As much as I hated the confines of the cave, I needed to rest. I had not slept since the night I exited Pillaged Mine. I laid the torch down and unrolled my bedroll. I don’t remember my head hitting the pillow.
* * *
When I awoke, the first order of business was eating. I was starved! I started a fire by incanting that strange sounding word. The bandits had been kind enough to supply some bread and dishes. I pulled the venison from my satchel, along with some cheese. After roasting the venison, I placed some on sliced bread with some cheese and wolfed it down. The former occupants had even provided a choice of wine or ale to wash it down.
Who knew that their last act would be one of hospitality?I chuckled at that thought as I gathered my gear and relit my torch. It was time to head back. Searching the cave yielded over a hundred more Septims, some potions, poisons, and jewelry. And of course, nine more pairs of boots. The boots wouldn’t bring much money, but I found an odd joy at leaving the child-killers shoeless.
I reached the entrance, doused the torch, and stepped outside. Mayhem ensued immediately as a bandit charged at me with a mace that was ready to scramble my brains. In one swift motion, I pulled my bow and swung it like a scythe at the bandit’s legs as I ducked. He went down like a sack of potatoes. Before he could recover, I was standing with one foot on his throat. I had pulled an arrow and had it nocked and pointed at his head.
“I’ll give you a choice, child-killer,” I said, “You can join your dead comrades, or you can remove your boots and start running. As long as I see your back and not your face, my arrow will stay resting against the bowstring. What say you?” I finished, drawing the bowstring back halfway.
“I’ll go! I’ll go! I’ve never killed a child, I swear. Just don’t kill me!” he replied. I removed my foot and he did as I had ordered, removing his boots and running as if his life depended on it, which it did. When he was out of sight, I walked over to a small boulder and sat down. I was trembling.
Where is this side of you coming from? What well of courage spewed that fountain of bravado?Being so caught up in learning from Honditar, spelunking for income, and trying to fit in, I had hardly thought about my true situation. I needed answers and had no idea where to find them. I didn’t even have a clue as to where to start looking.
You have killed close to two dozen people on top of countless other creatures and taken it as a matter of fact, like it was normal. What are you doing here?I got up, shaking my head. I couldn’t dwell on that right now. I needed to take things one step at a time, one day at a time. I knew I was avoiding the issue. But what choice did I have? I wasn’t going to answer my questions or solve my mysteries by sitting here brooding over them. I gathered my gear and paused, looking at the cave entrance. Broken Promises cave had yielded one unbroken promise. I had not used a blade in battle even once. I turned and headed back to Chorrol, one step at a time…
********************
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have stated that this is a game narrative, but there will be times that I will have to take some license. This has been one of those times. I can't see Talendor killing every NPC that attacks him. Hence, the merciful release of the last bandit. He won't be the last, just as "mercy" won't be my only deviation from game mechanics.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 16 2011, 05:32 AM
Once again I enjoyed the latest installment in Talendor's exploration of Nirn and of his own existence.
I just wanted to tell you that you don't need to apologize or justify departing from game mechanics. We've all done it to some degree or other. As long as it fits the character and the course of events you are plotting, and progresses either the plot or the character, it's fine. Keep it believable, or make it humorous, as you feel is best.
Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 16 2011, 07:34 AM
I agree, there's no need to apologize for straying from the game... look how far my own character has gone from the beaten path! As far as I'm concerned, his story takes place in Cyrodiil at the same time as the Oblivion Crisis, and that's it. I do take some side-quests straight from the game, but the overarching story being told is that of my character. It is his story, no one else's.
Straying from the game's path allows you to add variety and spice to your story that can otherwise not be achieved while playing, and I highly encourage it.
As for the lazy amnesia approach, I'm not much better, as I chose the only slightly more difficult (if even that) fish-out-of-water approach by having Dere be a foreigner.
You can tell when someone is using amnesia as a crutch, and you are not.
Anyways, back to the story. Many more child-killing bandits are now in need of a cobbler thanks to our boot-pilfering Talendor. Leaving the last one alive was a nice touch, as it shows that Talendor does have mercy in his heart, which can only improve the readers' image of him.
QUOTE
Maybe ‘fetcher’ is what the Dunmer called children…
Does it matter? Just kill the n'wah!
Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 17 2011, 01:49 AM
QUOTE(TheOtherRick @ Feb 15 2011, 07:26 PM)

Maybe ‘fetcher’ is what the Dunmer called children…
No. Think more along the lines of a "Mother Fetcher," since I think this was Bethesda's way of getting crap past the radar. Alternatively, remember that "T" can be silent in words like "Tsunami" and the "ch" can be hard like in the name "Zachary." Now we just put the emphasis on the last syllable like it's a war-cry...
As far as game mechanics go: Hey, don't worry about it. In fact, good for you! If Bethesda had sunk as much code into the game to allow you to simulate playing a pen-and-paper RP without noticing the difference, the result would have been a game bigger and more convoluted than any current console could handle. I, for one, approve of any attempts to include realistic things like 'fear of continuing to fight an opponent that clearly outmatches you' or "Hey, there's an avenue of escape here!" as part of the story experience.
You don't see grabbing a Dremora and shoving his head into the Sigil Tower's Fire-Column-of-Death as part of the game experience. Did that stop me? HECK NO! And it was fun to write that in.
Posted by: Grits Feb 17 2011, 04:54 PM
The sword/no sword debate is intriguing. After all, who knows what Talendor can really do?
Maybe ‘fetcher’ is what the Dunmer called children…
I know, use it in conversation. That’s a good idea!
spelunking for income Love it!
I also heartily endorse your creative departures. I enjoy the variety of twists folks have put on their stories as much as the ones that stay very true to the game.
Posted by: ghastley Feb 17 2011, 09:04 PM
The only thing I'd say about the deviation from game mechanics is that once you've done it, you need to remain consistent with your own change.
Now all opponents are allowed to run away. They don't have to, so reverting to regular game rules won't be noticed and you'll always get away with this one, which makes it OK. I'd avoid doing anything that's going to be noticeable when you forget, because you will. (A corollary of Murphy's law)
Posted by: mALX Feb 18 2011, 07:18 AM
QUOTE(Grits @ Feb 17 2011, 10:54 AM)

Maybe ‘fetcher’ is what the Dunmer called children… 
I know, use it in conversation. That’s a good idea!
I also heartily endorse your creative departures. I enjoy the variety of twists folks have put on their stories as much as the ones that stay very true to the game.

That is the first thought I had, some nice Dark Elf invites him to dinner with his family ... and the rest is history.
I also heartily endorse any creative departures - and welcome them !!! Game journals can only be just so different from the next, it is these creative departures that perk the interest (to me) and set your story out of the journalistic and into an intriguing read.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 18 2011, 01:52 PM
Since everyone had pretty much the same comment, this part is easy today...
@ Everyone - I think I was worried that some purist might say, "Hey...you can't do that!" I am currently seven chapters ahead of my posts with my writing, and there are other instances of deviation from game mechanics. It is good to know that I don't have to worry about them.
As usual, thank you all for your comments and support.
********************
Chapter 12 – Magicka
The walk back to Chorrol was uneventful. I had hoped to get a deer or two on the return trip, but it was not to be. The walk did give me time to contemplate. It almost seemed as if I were more than one person. On the one hand, I was a simple wood elf that relished every chance to be amongst the trees, care free and whimsical. On the other, I was an effective killer with knowledge of weapons and their efficient use. Like right now, I am walking in The Great Forest and thoroughly enjoying myself. If a wolf were to jump out, I would morph into this fearless life-taking being. Trying to puzzle it out for myself was like trying to explain the difference between red and blue to a blind man. Lost in these thoughts, the south gate of Chorrol came into my view. Rantus was standing post outside the gate and we exchanged pleasantries before I entered.
The sun was setting as I made the usual post-expedition rounds to all the shops in town and then went to the inn. Talasma had Shepherd’s Pie on the menu, advertised on a slate perched on an easel outside the front door. I could smell it the minute I walked in. I sat and gorged myself, washing it down with some very tasty red wine. I retired to my room, washed, and went to bed. I figured a good long sleep might be wise, as there was no telling what Honditar might have in store for the next excursion.
The next morning, dawn came and went a good three hours before I woke. I hadn’t realized just how tired I was. I bolted up and got dressed, feeling like I was about to miss something. Talasma must have thought I was a glutton, wolfing my breakfast down the same way I mowed through the pie last night. I paid for the meal and hurried out the door, heading for Honditar’s house. He opened the door before I knocked and invited me in.
“Here is your cut,” I said as I dropped a pouch of coins on his table.
“But I had not specified any fee for this trip,” Honditar stated as he lifted the pouch and surveyed its contents.
“It’s the least I can do. You have helped me so much.”
“I didn’t say there
wouldn’t be a fee. I said that I had not
specified one…yet,” he said as he unlocked and opened a small chest, placing the pouch inside, “Not money, but thank you just the same.”
Well there’s thirty Septims gone…wait ‘til he asks next time, knot-head…Honditar continued, “The fee today is your undivided attention for as long as required. Do you think you can afford that?”
“Absolutely,” I said, still staring at the small chest that housed coinage I should have held onto.
“I’m over here,” he said, snapping his fingers.
“Right, sorry,” I said and went to sit with him at the table.
“Today we are going to discuss Magicka.”
Honditar paused for a moment, as if waiting for me to ask what Magicka was. When I didn’t speak, he arched an eyebrow and grinned a little, then continued.
“There is a force present in all things on Nirn. We call it Magicka. It is ethereal and doesn’t become tangible until it is wielded. It is everywhere. In me, you, the table, even the coins you gave me a moment ago,” I glanced at the chest again as he continued, “The existence of Magicka is not a matter of faith, but an undeniable fact. You are not required to believe in it for it to be wielded. You only require the knowledge of
how to wield it in order to do so. This ties Magicka directly to the intelligence of the user. You seem to be very intelligent…scatter-brained at times…but intelligent none the less.”
I could not suppress a grin, but wiped it off my face just as quickly.
“You said that you have been able to use some Magicka during your short time here. You exercised elemental and restorative uses, by uttering strange sounds that you understood even though they sounded foreign.
‘Incanting strange powers’, I believe is what you called it. The fact that you uttered the sounds had no bearing on its use. Those
‘sounds’ are actually words. How you have knowledge of them is beyond me. They have not been spoken on Nirn for millennia. The first syllable defined the realm, or school, of the Magicka, and the second defined the use within that realm. That is as close as I can get to explaining it,” he paused briefly, and then continued, “However, the incantation is not necessary. You can do the same thing by just focusing your mind. I know that focusing is not your strong point, but discipline will come with experience. In essence, you focus your mind on what you require of Magicka, seeing it happen in your mind, and then releasing it. We call this
casting. What you cast with Magicka, we call
spells. A trained mage makes this happen in an instant, whereas you had to speak it in order to gain sufficient focus to accomplish what you desired. Are you following me?” he asked as he finished.
“I think so. What about the goblin staff that I found?”
“Good question! I am pleased that you thought to ask that,” he said with a smile, then continued, “As I said, all things on Nirn have Magicka to one degree or another. But items can be imbued with additional Magicka as well. Such was the case with the staff. It was once just a piece of wood with its natural amount of Magicka. Someone, or something, infused the elemental power of lightning into the wood. At that point it became a tool, for lack of a better word, to focus and concentrate that power for the wielder. This is why goblins use them. They lack the mental alacrity to focus their minds sufficiently for casting, and have to rely on enchanted items to wield Magicka. Other creatures
can cast spells. Take imps, for example. They have sufficient mental abilities to cast basic elemental spells. Are imps more intelligent than goblins? Possibly, but they are not nearly as dexterous, so an imp wouldn’t know what to do with a mace if one fell into its hand.”
“So how do I learn how to focus and use Magicka?” I asked.
“That is another great question! There is hope for you yet, Bosmer,” he said, “and it leads to the heart of our discussion. You require training. I am knowledgeable in many things, but this training is above my ability. I suggest you join the Mages Guild. With your obvious intelligence, you should excel with their training. Plus there are perks. You will have a free bed to sleep in at any Guild hall. There is an alchemist at almost every Guild hall for buying and selling alchemical ingredients. But the biggest perk for
you, my friend, is knowledge. It is the perfect path to finding out your true purpose for being on Nirn.”
“How much does it cost to join this guild?” I inquired.
“Out of pocket, it costs you nothing,” Honditar said, “Of your time and energy, it will cost plenty. It will require discipline and perseverance. Do not take it lightly. Remain focused on the tasks and lessons that the Guild affords you.”
“I will,” I promised.
“Now, I have something to show you. Let’s step outside,” he said, rising from the bench.
We walked outside and Honditar asked me to wait where I was. He walked around the back of his house and returned with a cage and an iron mace. In the cage was a large rat, ferociously trying to get at him through the bars. He stopped a couple dozen feet away from me and set the cage on the ground.
“Every Bosmer is born with an ability known as
‘Beast Tongue’. It will allow you to cajole animals to your will. It is a form of Magicka called a Greater Power. These powers are race specific. Each race has its own unique Greater Power. Some say that they were gifts granted to each race by The Nine Divines, while others argue that it is much more ancient than that. But I digress. I want you to focus your mind on the rat. Focus your need to have the rat bend to your will. Focus on making it your ally. When you think you are ready, point to the rat and I will open the cage. As soon as he charges you, release that focus through your hand toward the rat. Got it?”
“I will try,” I said.
I did exactly what Honditar had described. I cleared my mind first, and then placed the rat there alone. I pictured the rat becoming a pet, an ally, a soldier. I raised my hand and pointed. Honditar opened the cage and the rat immediately charged at me. As I released the Magicka, green light bloomed from my hand and shot at the charging rodent. Suddenly, the rat stopped, and then walked toward me calmly.
“This effect is not permanent, but you can certainly see the implications this can have when you are in a cave and confronted with several of these beasts. Allow me to show one such implication,” he said, then raised the mace and charged at me with a yell.
The rat immediately spun around and shot for Honditar, who quickly dispatched the rodent with a skull crushing blow from the mace. I just stared in awe.
“And there you have it,” he said, “You will find that Magicka is going to be an essential tool for you during your stay here in Tamriel. You have but scratched the surface of three uses so far. The Mage’s Guild is going to be able to teach you many score more. Think on it first if you prefer, but I suggest you join today. It is never too early to begin an education. They will likely have you traveling all over the province, which in and of itself will be a learning experience. In the mean time, if you ever need to come across more coin, come visit me and we’ll make another mark on your map. Come, let’s eat.”
We went back indoors and had a meal of beef stew and bread. He asked me to tell the tale of my trip to Broken Promises. When I had finished the tale, he rose and fetched my sword.
“Take this with you then,” he said, “It may be that I misjudged, since you seem to be as adept with a blade as you are with a bow. But promise me to at least try to keep your bow as your weapon of choice.”
“I will, Honditar. Thank you so much for all that you have done for me. I won’t ever forget it, or you. You are my one and only true friend here. It may be some time before I see you again, and I will miss our lessons,” I said with genuine emotion.
“I will miss you as well, Talendor. If you need to confide in someone at the Guild, trust Athragar. Remember, aim true and don’t be seen. Now off with you. Good luck, my friend.”
--------------------------------------------------------------
EDIT - Nits picked.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 18 2011, 04:39 PM
Great to see an in-depth lesson on magicka, especially for someone that hasn't grown up with it.
I'm liking Honditar more and more. True, he probably has ulterior motives, but then, who doesn't? The fact is, Honditar is giving Telandor tips that are essential for survival in the strange world we call Nirn.
I do notice a couple of things in this segment that bears commenting on specifically:
QUOTE
Talasma had Shepherd’s Pie on the menu, advertized on a slate perched on an easel outside the front door.
This is a common spelling error. It's
advertised. There are other words spelled with
s that are commonly misspelled with
z instead. Since I'm deaf and can't hear the difference, I'm guessing it may be because they are pronounced with a 'z' sound rather than the 's'. It's the only way I can explain why this is such a common spelling error in so many words that end in
'-ise'.
QUOTE
But items can be imbibed with additional Magicka as well. Such was the case with the staff. It was once just a piece of wood with its natural amount of Magicka. Someone, or something, imbibed the elemental power of lightning into the wood.
This had me confused for a moment there.
Imbibe is what I consider an active action, something performed by the subject. The dictionary defines it as
ingestion of alcoholic beverages, i.e. drinking. It would be used to refer to an action by the subject, like this: I
imbibed freely of the amber Bock. I'm thinking the word you want instead is something somewhat similar:
imbue.
Imbue to me is more passive, it is something that is done to an object. The dictionary defines it as
to inspire or permeate with a feeling or quality. The staff was
imbued with magicka beyond its innate levels.
The third thing I noticed, which is more stylistic than anything else, so it's something you can disregard if you choose (and still be right!). It seems to me that Honditar is just a little accepting of the idea that Talendor is not of Nirn. For most people with no experience with outer space exploration, rocket science, and knowledge of planets other than our own, the idea of an extraterrestrial is incomprehensible. Beings considered otherworldly in the real sense are considered spirits, ghosts, angels, demons, even gods. As such the normal reaction to such beings would be fear or awe or both. If Honditar were to consider Talendor as extra-Nirn, which is the impression I'm getting from his conversation, especially
QUOTE
“And there you have it,” he said, “You will find that Magicka is going to be an essential tool for you during your stay here on Nirn.
, then he seems unusually matter-of-fact about it, as if it was a common everyday occurrence to see other-Nirn beings standing in front of you in need of your help. Judging from the reaction of all the NPC's to the idea of daedra roaming the surface of Nirn, Honditar's reactions seem even more jarring to me. It's as if he's read too many H.G. Wells.
But I'm enjoying this story so far, and I really like the characters a lot. The way they interact with each other is a joy to read.
Posted by: ghastley Feb 18 2011, 09:25 PM
Honditar spends a lot of his time outside the Mages Guild in Chorrol, so he's probably seen a lot more conjuration than most non-mages. So he possibly regards Talendor as a Bosmer who's messed up a summon and got something "foreign" if not alien stuck in his head.
Since Talendor has a Bosmer's instincts and someone else's memories, it's interesting to conjecture which of the two halves Honditar regards as the "right" one. It looks to me like he's trying to restore Talendor to his idea of what a Bosmer should be. But as an Altmer archer, you'd think he'd take the other side.
It all makes for a good story and plenty of potential for the plot.to go in any direction.
Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 19 2011, 06:32 AM
So Talendor'll be joining that great bastion of usefulness, the Mages Guild, eh? Well, if he does, good for him. That course of action is Breton-Spellsword approved!
On a more formal note, Honditar's lecture of Nirn's system of arcana is excellent and well put together. He's pleased when Talendor asks good questions, able to make his student demonstrate a lesson for himself, and demanding of his attention. He reminds me of my favorite professors, and your portrayal of a wise mentor for the less-than-fully-attentive student is spot on. Great job.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 22 2011, 02:49 PM
@ h.e.rider - Thanks for the nits...they have been picked. With Talendor not knowing where he is from, that line of thought had leaked into Honditars dialogue. You are absolutely correct that he shouldn't have assumed Talendor was not of Nirn.
@ ghastley - I'm zipping my lip on possible plot lines, but I like that idea of a conjuration gone bad and a foreign "spirit" in Talendor's head.
@ Cap'n Hammer - Even though Talendor is amazingly adept at both blade and bow, the Mages Guild did indeed seem the better option from an educational stand point. Thanks to you and h.e.rider for the compliments on Honditar's lecture. I hope your professor wasn't 6'6" with pointy ears!
@ Everyone - Thanks as always for your comments and support.
********************
Chapter 13 – The Mages Guild
Eldritch wisps of mist swirled amidst the moonlit trees. The mist seemed to have a mind of its own, performing a choreographed dance that had a purpose. As it wove in and out of the branches, the angel hair strands began to coalesce into form. The shape was vague at first and then recognizable as that of a woman’s face. She was beautiful, conveying benevolence and protection, such as a mother might appear to a child. The spectral woman spoke in an echoing, sing-song voice.
“The Thief shall guide your steps on the road to destiny. That road may twist in circles and switchbacks, but the final destination shall remain, for destiny brooks no change. Trust in your guide, for she will aid you in your times of need. Be true, always.”
The face faded to reveal the front of a house. A man stood in front of the entry with a woman at his side, her arm around his waist. The couple dissolved into mist and dissipated. The doorway to the house loomed closer and opened into darkness. The inky blackness became an interior landscape bathed in blood colored light. Furnishings were placed at odd angles and locations. They were undamaged, but out of place, with shadows cast at impossible angles. A bed stood on end against a wall. There was a table with chairs stacked on top of it, mocking gravity. A basement door beckoned and grew closer. The door opened to more blackness. The feeling of falling now, through complete and utter darkness, toward a ring of lights. They were nine distinct points of light that morphed from blue-white stars into balls of flame. The globes of fire congealed into one shape. A flaming demons face, grinning with evil intent. Then the demon began to laugh…I jerked awake, evil laughter still echoing in my head like the final punctuation of a vile joke. I rubbed my face and took a deep breath, trying to exhale the remnants of the dream.
How could a dream change from being so soothing to something so horrific?I rose, washed, and got dressed, all the while trying to shake the flames from my thoughts.
‘The Thief shall guide your steps…’ Who is The Thief? The only thieves I have encountered aren’t the type of guide I want…Shaking my head again, I packed all of my belongings into my satchel and shouldered it. I glanced around at the room that had been my home. With a sigh, I left the room and went downstairs. Talasma was not at her usual station behind the bar, and the common room was completely empty. I sat at the bar, placing my satchel on the stool next to mine. I was contemplating what I should have for breakfast when Talasma came in from the kitchen. She was wearing an apron, and her usual blue blouse was smeared with flour. With a
‘pfft’ she blew a strand of her hair from her face.
“Never hire a Nord for a cook if you want breakfast prepared on time,” she said with a growl, “He will likely show up hung over at mid-morning. What can Talasma get for you this morning? Make it simple please.”
“Just a cup of milk and a sweetroll will be fine, Talasma,” I said. I couldn’t help but grin at her appearance.
When she returned, she glanced at my fully packed satchel.
“Are you leaving us today?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m afraid that I am. I am going to join the Mages Guild. Whatever balance I still have toward the room, I want you to keep. Your hospitality has been both patient and impeccable.”
“Well, Talendor, once you learned the proper function of a door, you were a fine guest as well. I do hope you will stop by from time to time. Now if you will excuse me, I have more kneading to attend to,” she stated and headed back to the kitchen.
I finished eating and left for the Mage’s Guild. The morning was cloudy, holding the threat of rain. The dog lady was out for her usual morning stroll with Bailey and Kezune. Turning the corner, I was rewarded with a toothless grin from a beggar when I tossed him a coin. When I reached the Guild hall, I paused for a moment, starting at the large blue sign. A stylized eye was etched into the wood and painted gold. I pondered the significance of the eye.
Quit stalling and get to it…I entered into a main lobby. A curved counter at the back of the room hugged a round inset in the floor. The recessed circle was decorated with odd symbols surrounding a star-like shape with that same stylized eye at the center. It appeared illuminated, whether from the chandelier above or from within, I could not tell. I was walking toward the sunken circle when someone entered the room. He was a Bosmer, dressed in a blue and green outfit. He had a pleasant look about him and walked over to me.
“I am Athragar of the Mages Guild. How may I be of service?” he asked politely.
“I am here to join the guild,” I replied.
“Then you will need to speak to Teekeeus. He is the head of our chapter. You can find him in the next room,” Athragar said.
I thanked him and went into the adjacent room. There was an Altmer behind a counter working with a mortar and pestle. He had another apparatus on the counter that he poured the contents of the pestle into.
“Are you Teekeeus?” I asked the Altmer.
“Through that door,” he said, pointing at a door to my right.
“Thanks,” I said and walked into the next room.
There was an Argonian standing next to a bed. He was taller than Seed-Neeus. The scales on his head were equally vivid shades of green and red. Dark gray spikes bristled from his head in lieu of hair.
“What do you want, tree-hugger?” he said.
I turned around to look for a tree-hugger and saw no one. When I turned back, the Argonian was staring at me with what may have been impatience.
“Oh…you mean me? Sorry. I would like to join the Mages Guild,” I replied.
“Well then, let me tell you that joining the Guild is no small matter. Membership is as much a responsibility as it is an honor. Are you sure you wish to take on the responsibilities of membership?” he asked, as if hoping I might reconsider.
“I am,” I said, trying my best to sound confident.
“Then go and see Athragar. He will go through the enrollment process with you. When you have finished, return to me. Now, if you will excuse me…” he said and turned around, returning to whatever he was doing when I walked in.
I left the room and the Altmer was still behind the counter mixing…stuff. Stepping back into the lobby, I saw Athragar sitting in a chair near the corner. I walked over to him and explained that Teekeeus had sent me to find him for the enrollment process.
“So, you are joining our ranks. Let me tell you, it will be nice to have another Bosmer at our chapter. Let’s go up to the library,” Athragar said as he rose. I followed him up some stairs and he produced a key from his pocket to unlock the door at the top. We entered a room that was lined with full bookshelves. The scent of the air reminded me of Renoit’s Books. We walked to a table where Athragar instructed me to sit. He grabbed a sheet of parchment, quill, and ink bottle, and then joined me at the table.
“This is just a simple formality. We need some personal information for our records,” he said.
Personal information? I don’t HAVE any personal information!“Ok,” I managed to say while my brain was racing.
“Your name?”
“Talendor,” I replied.
He wrote my name on the parchment. Then he asked, “And where are you from, Talendor?”
“Valenwood,” I lied.
“Age?” he asked.
I was dumbstruck. I have no clue how old I am.
Make something up! Lie! QUICKLY!“Twenty-two…almost twenty-three,” I embellished.
“Your birthsign?”
“Huh?” escaped my mouth before I could stop it.
Birthsign? What’s a birthsign?“Your birthsign. Under what sign were you born?” Athragar asked again.
“Um, what are my choices?”
Athragar looked at me like I had four ears. He set down the quill and placed his elbows on the table, intertwining his fingers as he leaned toward me.
“There are no
choices, Talendor,” he said, “You can only be born under one sign. Everyone in Tamriel knows his or her birthsign. It is the constellation you were born under. This is important to the Guild because different signs convey different abilities. It directly affects the course of your training and many believe it guides your destiny.”
Guides my destiny… The dream… The Thief…“OH!” I exclaimed, and followed it with a wave of my hand and a chuckle, “The Thief. My sign is The Thief,” hoping that ‘the thief’ was a birthsign.
Athragar gave me a sidelong glance as he picked up the quill and wrote it down. I was starting to sweat and my heart was pounding. Eventually, he would ask me something that I could not cover with a lie.
‘If you need to confide in someone at the Guild, trust Athragar…’Honditar had said to trust this one, and I trusted Honditar. When Athragar started to ask the next question, I raised my hand to stop him.
“Athragar, before you ask anything else, I need to speak in confidence with you. Honditar told me that I could trust you, so I am about to. I can’t answer these questions…” and I went on to tell Athragar my story.
“Honditar did well to advise you to trust me, and you did well to heed his words. If you had spoken of this to Teekeeus, any hope of joining the guild would have been lost. We can work through this enrollment and once you’re officially a member, come see me and we’ll go over some basics to get you on track,” the Bosmer told me.
It seemed like every time I turned around, I was thanking someone for helping me. Athragar and I went through my false information so that my story would stay on track. He gave me the completed information sheet that we had co-authored, along with a book titled
‘The Mages Guild Charter’. Then he instructed me to return to Teekeeus. I found the Argonian downstairs and handed him the parchment with my information. He looked it over and then spoke.
“Very well, you are now an Associate in the Mages Guild. Congratulations. The full Guild hall is available for your use,” he said, and handed me a key, “You will need a recommendation from every Guild chapter to advance further, starting with this one. Until that time, the Arcane University will be closed to you. Go and study the charter, then you may return to me and we will discuss what will be needed to earn my recommendation,” he finished and then dismissed me.
As I walked upstairs, I exhaled a huge sigh of relief.
You’re in. Now what? For now, just do what you are told and stay out of trouble.
Posted by: SubRosa Feb 22 2011, 06:47 PM
I am up to chapter 7 of the TC now, and I am enjoying your writing. Talendor's reaction to Jauffre's attempt to conscript him was simply priceless. I really love how you wrote that.
It is a neat idea you have to write a character with no memory of who they are, or knowledge of the world. It allows you as a writer to explain how things in the world work as Talendor discovers them. This is often the best way to portray an alien environment. It also allows you to skip over huge things that he would not know.
I get the impression that Talendor may be no ordinary amnesiac as well, but rather someone used to being on the other side of the computer screen. Perhaps that dastardly MCP is up to its old tricks again... 
Oh, and I never had the chance to mention, that your avatar looks like Kirk Douglas, only if he were an elf.
Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 23 2011, 03:09 AM
QUOTE
I hope your professor wasn't 6'6" with pointy ears!
No, he was of only average height, mostly bald, and quite the cheery fellow overall.
Your process of joining the Mages' Guild (Teekeus: "Stop bothering me you Fool!") in Chorrol is priceless. I have images of "What do you mean you don't know what a constellation is? Are you blind?" running through my head. Athragar is one of the better guys in the Chorrol guild, and you bring him to life wonderfully.
Posted by: Grits Feb 23 2011, 06:15 PM
Talendor’s dream was very effective, moving quickly from lovely to horrifying the way dreams sometimes do. I especially liked the mist.
Athragar looked at me like I had four ears.
Posted by: mALX Feb 24 2011, 05:33 AM
I have the worst feeling Talendor's dreams are memories of his past that he isn't remembering. GAAAAH! My fave part:
QUOTE
“Age?” he asked.
I was dumbstruck. I have no clue how old I am.
Make something up! Lie! QUICKLY!
“Twenty-two…almost twenty-three,” I embellished.
“Your birthsign?”
“Huh?” escaped my mouth before I could stop it.
Birthsign? What’s a birthsign?
“Your birthsign. Under what sign were you born?” Athragar asked again.
“Um, what are my choices?”
Athragar looked at me like I had four ears
This had me rolling, and you are really doing an awesome job with making his amnesia believable !! Great Chapter !!
Posted by: Zalphon Feb 25 2011, 02:41 AM
"You want to join the guild, Tree-Hugger?" Perfection!
Posted by: Acadian Feb 25 2011, 03:52 AM
Ch 11
'Maybe ‘fetcher’ is what the Dunmer called children…'
How delightfully Talendor this is!
Our little Bosmer is gradually getting better at what he does.
No worries on taking license. You are doing fine. I think many of us use a mix of having our character create their own 'quests' and storylines, using the in-game quests as familiar splice for their story, and modifying the heck out of certain in-game quests to suit the nature of our character. I love seeing a character bring their unique perspective and even changes to the familiar things I love in Oblivion.
Ch 12
Lovely explanation/demonstration of Talendor's Beast Tongue power.
Nit:
“Absolutely,” I said, still staring {at} the small chest that housed coinage I should have held onto.'
I recommend adding 'at' as indicated.
Ch 13
I'll also endorse that fabulous opening dream, and echo Grits' appreciation of what you can do with some mist!
Delightful to see dear Talasma being her, well, Talasmically wonderful self.
It put me on the edge of my seat when Talendor decided to confide in Athragar. Then it warmed my heart to see his trust rewarded. Just as sweet as can be!
Posted by: SubRosa Feb 25 2011, 03:57 AM
"Hey...you can't do that!"
Just kidding!
In fact I am going to suggest you get comfortable with deviating from what is in the game, and make your world how you think it ought to be, rather than how Bethesda wrote it. Those personal touches are the things that set a fic aside from others and make it unique (as well as the characters of course!).
Ok, finally caught up now. I am enjoying Talendor's adventures through mysterious Cyrodiil. Your depiction of Honditar is quite a change from how I am used to seeing him! That is one of the fun things about fics, you often see the same characters, but portrayed in completely different ways! Sometimes one person's version is so strong that you can just never shake it again (like how mALX wrote Fathis Aren, I will never see him [and his marital robes] the same again).
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 25 2011, 04:26 PM
Oh my! So many comments this time...
@ h.e.rider - Did you have to lie about your age and birthsign too? 
My play style prior to Talendor has been a Dunmer, using marksman and stealth with some destruction magic thrown in, and then finishing enemies with a blade. Talendor is the first Bosmer I have played, so "his" play style is still TBD, but it explains why he is so good with a sword.
@ SubRosa (Part 1) - Welcome! Talendor and I have been looking forward to your arrival.
I am glad you enjoyed Talendor avoiding the Main Quest. "Do what?" was the best he could come up with on the spot.
The amnesia aspect was a serendipitous result of laziness on the author's part while avoiding having to come up with a backstory.
Oh, and the avatar is Talendor in the flesh...err...pixels. I am sorry to say that he has no plans to audition for a remake of Spartacus.
@ Cap'n Hammer - I do believe that Athragar was genuinely pleased that there would be another Bosmer at the Guild hall. Now someone else can be the resident "tree-hugger" from time to time.
@ grits - Dream sequences are so fun to write. No boundries. I am glad you enjoyed this one.
@ mALX - Welcome back!
Talendor can't help himself from looking foolish sometimes when he has to make stuff up on the fly 
RE: the dreams...(insert zipped-lips emoticon here)
On a side note, I am so glad that Dixie is on her way to recovery. Give her a hug from Talendor and I.
@ zalphon - "Bosmers are to be seen and not heard" - Teekeeus
@ Acadian - Welcome back as well. Always a pleasure to hear from you and Buffy. 
Ch. 11- Talendor and I have stopped worrying about going off the beaten path. The fears have been put to rest by the wonderful readers here and their support.
Ch. 12- Nit picked and thank you for catching it. You would not believe how much I languished over the Beast Tongue bit. Talk about re-writes! 
Ch. 13- So far, Honditar has been true to his word, and the advice to trust Athragar paid off as well. He is very troubled by the dreams though.
@ SubRosa (Part 2) - "Hey...Yes I can!"
As I told Acadian above, those worries are past. I am glad to hear that they are encouraged, because I'm gonna have a blast with it!
I'm so glad that you are enjoying the story and that you are caught up with us. I wish I could say the same about being caught up. I'm afraid it will be some time before I can say those words to you, mALX, and Acadian. So much to read and so little time. 
You are not alone with the Honditar feelings. Many have said the same...maybe because he poisons deer.
@ Everyone - As always, I want to thank you all for your comments, compliments, and support. It is ultimately the readers that make this so enjoyable. On to the next chapter...
--------------------
Chapter 14 – New Knowledge
When I reached the top of the stairs, the door was locked. I used the key Teekeeus had given me on the lock, and the tumblers clicked their confirmation of my membership in the Guild. I entered the library and saw Athragar sitting right where I had left him. He waved me over and I sat back down at the table with him.
“Since you have entered the library alone, I will assume your meeting with Teekeeus went well,” he said with a grin.
“Yes it did. Teekeeus said I am now an Associate in the Guild, and then told me to go study the book you gave me. When I have finished, I am supposed to see him again about the recommendation I will need,” I told him.
“Then welcome to the Guild, Talendor. Now, let’s go over what you know about Magicka so that we can start to make a mage out of you. Tell me everything you have learned so far, if anything.”
I recited all of my knowledge to date. I told him about incanting spells to heal myself and roasting rats, about the goblin staff, and about what Honditar had taught me. Athragar just listened without interruption until I had finished.
“Well now, that is at least a start. It is good that Honditar showed you how to use our inborn ability. But did he not explain about the abilities that come from your birthsign?” he asked.
“Nope. We never discussed birthsigns,” I replied.
“Then how did you come to tell me that you were born under The Thief?”
I explained about the dream I had this morning. His eyes grew wide at the telling of the last part. He sat up straight, and his voice took on a more serious tone.
“I don’t know enough about dreams to decipher their meanings. Henantier in Bravil, or perhaps Dagail in Leyawiin, may be able to help you with that. They are acquainted with dreams and visions. But the phrase
‘The Thief shall guide your steps…’ has definite meaning. Perhaps it
is your true birthsign. We can test that theory. I was also born under The Thief, so I am very well versed in the abilities that are inherent with the sign.
“There are two abilities that come with the sign of The Thief. We call them
‘Feather Tote’ and
‘Scout’. We can test for
‘Feather Tote’ right here. Shoulder your satchel,” he told me.
When I did so, Athragar said to clear my mind, then picture the satchel and make the satchel empty in my mind, which I did.
“Now,” he continued, “clench your fist and ready yourself to release the Magicka to it. Then open it to cast the spell.”
I did as Athragar described and when I cast the spell, a wave of yellowish-white light washed over me. But I felt no different. It was as if nothing happened.
“I must have done it wrong. I don’t notice anything different,” I said dejectedly.
He just laughed and told me to stand up. When I did, I was amazed to find that my satchel did indeed feel empty, and I started laughing as well. I took a couple steps and laughed even harder. It felt like I was floating on air. The sensation was truly amazing!
“That spell has a long duration, which is one of its detriments. It is easy to get used to and to rely on. Don’t fall into that trap. Use it only when you feel that you must,” he said.
“What does the other, the
‘Scout’, what does
it do?” I asked, still giddy from the lightness of my steps.
“The other we cannot test here. It has an aspect we call
‘Night Eye’ and would likely cause damage to your eyes, even in the ambient light of this room,” he replied, “That is another fact to be wary of. When you are using it, say in a cave or ruin, it is easy to get used to it and forget that you have it active. Many careless adventurers have been blinded by forgetting and walking into daylight, or a well lit room, with the spell active. Suffice it to say that if you have the one ability, you surely have the other. You were definitely born under the sign of The Thief.”
A concerned look had crossed Athragar’s face as I sat back down. Then he looked at me very seriously, seeming worried.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“It is your dream, Talendor. If one aspect of the dream held truth, then it seems likely that the entire dream held it as well. Teekeeus has said that he will want you to perform a task for your recommendation while you are still in Chorrol. After that, you will be free to choose which Guild hall to travel to next. Talendor, I am going to suggest that you make Bravil and Leyawiin the first two Guild halls you visit. Speak with Henantier and Dagail about your dream. Its substance does not bode well.”
All of the joy from experiencing the
‘Feather Tote’ spell had drained from me. Memories of the two dreams I have had filled me with a sense of dread.
Please don’t let those nightmares come true…“I will do as you suggest, Athragar,” I said uneasily.
“It is good that you will, I am sure of it. Now, let’s see about getting you a bed. Afterwards, some food and more discussion, eh?” he said as he stood.
After Athragar got me settled into a room, we discussed spell casting as we ate mutton sandwiches. He taught me a new spell called
‘Minor Life Detection’.
“Try it now,” he said.
I did and pink light cascaded over me. When I looked at him, I jumped out of my chair. Athragar was covered with a pink aura that shimmered all over him!
“Oh no,” I exclaimed, “Does it hurt? I am so sorry!”
Athragar burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, and then spoke through chuckles, “Relax Talendor. I am in no pain, I assure you. What you see is a manifestation of my life force. Look down.”
When I did, pink shapes were moving on the floor. I tried to touch them, but could not.
“What you see are people downstairs, because they are within range of the spell. The use for this spell is obvious. It can keep you from being surprised by enemies while you are in enclosed areas,” he explained.
Embarrassment flooded my face and I apologized for my outburst. Athragar assured me that no apology was necessary and told me that he reacted much the same way at his first experience. Then he went on to explain about using Magicka around enemies. He told me that the flood of light we experience when casting is just as visible to enemies.
“This fact makes using Magicka as a preemptive strike weapon risky, especially for novice casters. For now, use it defensively. The life detection spell is all you should be using prior to any attack for now. The
‘Flare’ spell you have used is more likely to anger an enemy than kill it, except for mud crabs and rats. As you gain experience with Magicka, you will be able to cast more powerful spells that can do considerable damage to larger enemies. But for now, rely on your bow more than your Magicka for offense,” he finished.
It seemed like Athragar had taught me more in one sitting than I had learned in my entire time on Nirn. My brain was starting to turn to mush. It must have showed, because Athragar said that we had covered enough for one day and that I should go to my room and study the Mages Guild Charter as Teekeeus had instructed.
“Find me in the morning and we will gauge your skills with alchemy before your talk with Teekeeus,” he said and bid me a good day.
I went to the room that Athragar had helped me settle into. From the window, I could look down on the massive oak in the plaza. I stared out the window for a bit, watching guards make their rounds and the town’s residents go about their daily business. It was still overcast and the wind was picking up. The darkening skies along the horizon promised a stormy evening. I sat down on the bed and removed my moccasins, reclined to a comfortable position and began reading
‘The Mages Guild Charter’.
* * *
The next morning had dawned clear and bright with the promise of a beautiful late summer day. I could see the upper boughs of the great oak through the window. They were waving at me with the breeze, as if inviting me to come outdoors and play. I dressed quickly and went downstairs.
I found Athragar speaking with the Altmer that had been making potions the day before. He introduced me to Angalmo, the resident alchemist. He then told Angalmo that I would need alchemy equipment.
“Do you have any at all?” asked the Altmer.
“I do have a mortar and pestle,” I replied.
“Well then, let’s get you what you need.”
He turned toward the shelves behind him and started pulling down pieces of equipment, reciting their names to himself as he did, and placed them on the counter.
“There you are. We have here a calcinator, an alembic, and a retort. The calcinator will enhance the potency of your alchemical ingredients. The retort will increase the positive effects of those ingredients. The alembic will decrease the negative effects, unless you are creating a poison. Then the alembic is your best friend, because it will increase the desired damaging effect,” Angalmo recited as if giving a lecture.
Athragar must have noticed the overwhelmed look on my face. He thanked the alchemist and promised that we would return them when we were through. Then he helped me carry the equipment upstairs, pausing momentarily to grab some nightshade blossoms that were decorating the dining table. We placed them all on the table that sat in the corner of my room. I just stood there and stared at them and Athragar started to chuckle.
“I know it seems a little confusing, but you will become familiar with these in no time at all. Let’s spend a little time discussing them before you have to go see Teekeeus,” he said.
We sat and Athragar gave me a rudimentary lesson on each apparatus, and then reiterated the recipes that Honditar had already given to me. I told him about finding and using the mortar and pestle below Imperial City, and that I had no idea how I knew what to do. He looked at me with that same concerned look he had when we discussed the dream, but then continued his lesson. He explained how Alchemy was just a way of distilling the Magicka found in herbs, flowers, fungi, and even food. Then we made three vials of poison, using my stock of wisp stalks and the nightshade he had picked up. He emphasized practice, saying that it was a great way to come up with some coins in a pinch. When he finished, he sent me to Teekeeus and wished me luck on whatever endeavor the Chapter Steward was about to task me with.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 25 2011, 07:43 PM
I love Athragar! He's even more fun here than he is in the game!
I'll have to say this about male Bosmeri - they're always so happy to see you they could burst! Never fails to put a smile on my face, especially coming from someone like Gwinas or Athragar. I think the only exception is the Adoring Fan.
Delightful chapter about the ongoing introduction into the Mages Guild.
Posted by: SubRosa Feb 26 2011, 02:47 AM
I take it that you are using a mod with alternate birthsigns? Neat ideas to have the Thief give you the Feather and Nighteye. I still like that luck bonus of the vanilla version though.
“Oh no,” I exclaimed, “Does it hurt? I am so sorry!”
This was perfect! Talendor can be so adorable at times. Not easy when you look like Kirk Douglas!
What you see are people downstairs, because they are within range of the spell. The use for this spell is obvious.
It would be a handy way to find your cat too!
A fun little episode, as Talendor begins to learn his way around magic.
Posted by: Captain Hammer Feb 26 2011, 06:46 AM
Oh, come now, even the Adoring Fan puts a smile on my face.
Namely, when I put an arrow in his face at the edge of Dive Rock. Always good clean fun.
An interesting discussion with an interesting character. You help prove why Bosmer are such popular and enjoyable individuals, even amongst a board that proves why Bosmer are such popular and enjoyable individuals.
Posted by: Grits Feb 26 2011, 04:19 PM
Athragar just listened without interruption until I had finished.
It’s nice to see a Bosmer who can do this.
Talendor charms again, as does Athragar. How kind of him to give Talendor a room with a view of the Great Oak! Poor Angalmo can’t help seeming dry next to two bubbly Bosmeri, but I enjoyed his concise alchemy lecture.
Looking forward to Talendor enjoying some of that beautiful late summer day.
Posted by: mALX Feb 27 2011, 07:21 AM
QUOTE
Try it now,” he said.
I did and pink light cascaded over me. When I looked at him, I jumped out of my chair. Athragar was covered with a pink aura that shimmered all over him!
“Oh no,” I exclaimed, “Does it hurt? I am so sorry!”
ROFL !!!
Love how you take these game mechanics and give real world explanations for them !!!
Great Write !!!
Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 27 2011, 07:41 AM
Urgh... I'm behind! 
Lemme comment on Ch. 12 while I'm here. That was a very inspiring look into the wonderful force of Magic in Tamriel. It made good sense, and yet preserved the mystery of the force. Good introduction to the Beast Tongue, as well. Looks like it's time for are now-slightly-penniless Bosmer to move along in his tutoring. Good luck in the Mages Guild.
I'll be catching up as I go along, so rest assured I'm still here!
Posted by: ghastley Feb 27 2011, 03:51 PM
Nice introduction to Detect Life but he may need a reminder that casting a spell reveals his own position, and that spell's best for seeing round corners. I'm sure he'll get that soon.
He won't need it for the recommendation quest, as that all takes place out in the open, but his new ability to make poisons could get a workout. Will that help wean him off the sword, to use the bow more?
Posted by: TheOtherRick Feb 28 2011, 08:37 PM
@ h.e.rider - I'm glad you enjoy my take on Athragar. I feel the same way about Bosmeri NPCs in the game. Right from the beginning, when Rindir says, "I'm Rindir, and I sell magical staffs, imagine that!" with his bubbly voice. Believe it or not, I have yet to meet The Adoring Fan in-game, but I have read about him in the forums.
@ SubRosa - You are correct about the modded abilities for birthsigns (Cobl Races - Balanced). The luck factor is still intact.
@ Cap'n Hammer - The funny thing is, I had never played a Bosmer until I started this story.
@ grits - Athragar seems to have a bit more discipline than your average Bosmer, and certainly more than Talendor has shown.
@ mALX - I knew when I wrote it that I would get a good "ROLF" or perhaps even a "SPEW" from you.
@ Chef Thomas - Fear not about being behind. I am behind on almost every story in this forum. I'm sure you will catch Talendor much faster than I will be able to catch Teresa, Maxical, Jerric, and Buffy.
@ ghastley - Athragar actually did warn Talendor about revealing his position with spell casting in this chapter.
He does thank you for the concern though, and says he won't be giving up his sword for anyone.
@ Everyone - Thanks again for the comments and support. Y'all are the best!
--------------------
Chapter 15 – Too Many Fingers in the Mountain
I found Teekeeus in the main lobby. He was just finishing a conversation with another mage that I had not yet met. They were discussing the Emperor’s death, trying to decide whether or not to be worried about it. I politely waited for them to finish and then approached the Argonian. He spoke first when I stepped up.
“So, have you studied the rules of our Guild, Associate?” he asked.
“I have sir.”
“Good. Make no mistake, we offer no quarter to new Associates if they break them. The rules apply to you as much as they apply to any Guild member. Now, I suppose that you are ready for my recommendation. I’m afraid I can’t just write you one out of hand. That would be against protocol. But you can prove your loyalty to the Guild and
earn my recommendation,” he said.
“What must I do?” I asked.
“You can clear up a small matter involving Earana---"
“What is earana?” I blurted, and then bit my lip as soon as I had.
“Do not interrupt me, Associate!” Teekeeus barked, “Earana is a
person, not a
thing! She and I have an unpleasant history. She does not care for Guild regulations, and errantly believes that I am misusing my powers as Chapter Steward. I have seen her around town. Although she has not approached me, I know that she wants something. I would like
you to find out what it is. Now that I have finished speaking, do you have any questions?”
Way to go knot-head. You already have the Chapter Steward yelling at you…“Do you know where she is staying?” I inquired.
“No, I do not. It seems that would be the first order of your task. When you find her, determine what it is that she is after, and how we may be rid of her. I do not want her here, spreading her lies. Make haste, Associate, I wish to be rid of Earana as soon as possible. Now go,” Teekeeus said and walked away.
I didn’t know where to begin looking for Earana. Athragar might know, so I went back upstairs to speak with him. He was sitting near a window, reading. I hated to interrupt him – he had done so much for me already – so I made it look like I was searching the shelves for a book, hoping he would notice me. I was rewarded with his voice asking if he could help me find something.
“I am looking for a town directory. I need to find a person’s address,” I told him.
“Who are you looking for?” Athragar asked.
“Earana,” I replied.
“Oh. Even if such a directory existed, she would not be in it. She does not live here. I assume Teekeeus wants you to find her,” he said.
“Yes he does, for my recommendation. He wants me to find out what she is up to. Do you have any idea why?”
“Well, I don’t know all of the details, but I heard that Earana constantly complained to the Mages Council about Teekeeus, to the point that they removed him from his position at the Arcane University. There is definitely some bad blood between them,” he replied, “At any rate, I would check the inns if I were you.”
“Thanks for the information, Athragar. I’ll see you later,” I said and left the library.
I decided to check The Oak & Crosier first, figuring that Talasma might be more forthcoming with information since I knew her. As I stepped outdoors, an Altmer woman dressed in a verdant doublet and silk skirt turned and started walking toward me. I had business to attend to and acted as if I hadn’t seen her, but to no avail as she stopped me near the great oak.
“Excuse me…excuse me, please,” she was saying.
“Yes?”
“I couldn’t help but notice that you just left the Mages Guild. Are you a mage? I mean…a member?” she asked.
“I am…”
“You must be new,” she stated, “You don’t have that
‘I’m-better-than-you’ snobbish air about you.”
“As a matter of fact, I am a new Associate,” I said with some pride.
“Perfect,” she said, more to herself, and then continued, “There is a small matter that you may be able to help me with.”
“Perhaps…um…what did you say your name was?” I asked.
“Earana.”
Talk about the luck of Zeni-whozawatzit! She found me
!“Well Earana, let’s go sit on the bench and you can tell me about it,” I said smoothly.
“Excellent,” she started as we sat down, “It’s a simple matter really. I just need you to fetch a book for me. It is entitled
‘Fingers of the Mountain’. It is of no use to you; you wouldn’t be able to read it. I, on the other hand, can read it and would very much like to.”
“Do you know where I can find this book?” I asked.
“You’ll find it at an old ruin called Cloud Top. It is north of Chorrol, up in the highlands. I’m afraid I don’t know the exact location,” she said.
“That’s ok. I know someone that can help me---“
“NO!” she said abruptly, “I mean…there is no need to involve your Guild in this matter. Better if it was kept between just between us. Please…just retrieve it for me and I will make it worth your effort.”
“All right, I’ll do it. But, I do expect to be paid,” I said.
“As I said, it will be worth your effort, and thank you.”
With that, Earana rose and walked away. I could not believe my good fortune! I waited for Earana to pass out of sight, then stood and headed back into the Guild hall.
Less than an hour and you completed your task! This should smooth Teekeeus’ scales…I found Teekeeus and related that I had found out what Earana wanted. When he heard, his eyes went wide and he made a hissing sound.
“What? Not only does it exist, but she knows where it is?” he asked incredulously.
“Yes. Someplace north of here called Cloud Top,” I replied.
“This is unacceptable,” he said, looking down and shaking his head. Then he looked back at me and said, “I trust that as a member of the Guild, you will do the right thing and acquire this text before Earana does.”
“Um, excuse me? Sir…you said all I had to do was find out what Earana wanted.”
“I have changed the conditions for my recommendation! Pray to The Nine that I don’t refuse it altogether, tree-hugger. You will do as you are told! Are we clear?”
“Yes sir. I apologize if I was out of line,” I said with a remorseful tone, biting back my anger.
“Good. Now go to this place she described. Ignore her request and bring the book back to me...I mean...to the Guild, where it belongs,” Teekeeus said.
“I will sir,” I said and went upstairs to change into my armor and get my gear.
I left the Guild hall and started for Honditar’s house. If anyone knew where Cloud Top was, it would be him. I had learned one thing for sure. Teekeeus was liable to change his mind at the drop of a hat. I would need to make sure I didn’t anger him further if I wanted his recommendation. Fortunately, Honditar was at home when I arrived at his house. It was nice to see a friendly face after Teekeeus had railed on me. He invited me in and offered some tea.
“No thank you,” I replied, “I am actually in a hurry. I need to find a place called Cloud Top. Do you know where it is?”
“Cloud Top…hmmm…and why would you need to know that, Talendor?” he asked.
I explained to him about my recommendation, then about Earana and the book.
“Well, as a matter of fact I do know where it is. I’ll be happy to note it on your map for you. But…remember the fee for my help that we discussed? This will require one. Consider it payment for prior help and the favor you now ask,” he said.
“Sure thing Honditar, what is it?” I asked.
“I want that book,” he stated simply.
My jaw dropped as my eyes went wide.
“It is a small fee that doesn’t cost you a thing, Talendor,” he added.
“I can’t Honditar. I have to give it to Teekeeus or I won’t get my recommendation. Can’t I just pay you in Septims?”
“You misunderstand. I fully expect you to give it to Teekeeus. I would not want to cost you your recommendation. Give him the book, then steal it and bring it to me,” he said as if I should have known that already.
My jaw was getting stiff from trying to fall off my face.
“Steal it?
Steal it? You want me to
steal from the Chapter Steward? I might as well just resign and join the Fighters Guild. Wait, I hear they don’t take criminals---”
He cut me off with a wave of his hand and said, “Relax Talendor. Do you trust me?”
“I did until a minute ago.”
“Well, you still can, my friend. You will do fine. Just don’t get caught. There is a good reason for this request which I shall make clear to you, once the book is in my possession. You will just have to continue trusting me. What say you?” he said, standing there with his arms crossed.
I hesitated a second, then reluctantly agreed to do as Honditar wished. He smiled and asked me for my map. He handed it back when he had marked the location of Cloud Top. After I declined a second offer of tea and a snack, he wished me luck and sent me on my way.
How do you manage to get in situations like this, knot-head? Your first day in the Guild and you are conspiring to steal from the Chapter Steward? Brilliant!--------------------
EDIT: - Nit picked.
Posted by: SubRosa Feb 28 2011, 09:08 PM
First off, excellent title!
“What is earana?” I blurted,
I just love the bubbly nature you have infused Talendor with. You take all the fun and adorable qualities of the Bosmer men in the game and distill them into him (plus leave the crazy parts behind). It makes me imagine Valenwood must be a lively, fun place to live!
Talk about the luck of Zeni-whozawatzit!
I love this!
I have changed the conditions for my recommendation! Pray to The Nine that I don’t refuse it altogether, tree-hugger.
Yes Lord Vader! We shall redouble our efforts!
You have taken one of the more dull MG fetch and carry quests and breathed all new life into it, not to mention an entirely new dimension by throwing Honditar into the mix! I have always wondered who was really worse, Teekeeus or Earana. Who of the pair was really just, and who was not? Earana is haughty in her manner, but she plays straight with you if you take her up on her offer. Teekeeus is also unpleasant, and wants you to steal the book from her if you give it to her, and threatens you with your recommendation if you do not. It would be interesting to see a short story from her point of view.
Now we have Honditar in the mix as well! I wonder if he is thinking that neither Teekeeus or Earana can be trusted with the book?
Posted by: ghastley Feb 28 2011, 09:54 PM
But when you give the book to Teekeus, Earana wants you to steal it for her, so does this mean giving it to Teekeus, stealing it back, giving it to Earana, stealing it back, and then giving to Honditar (and then stealing it back?)
I think I need to lose my memory, or just the confused part of it.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Feb 28 2011, 10:04 PM
I agree, throwing Honditar into the mix puts an unexpected twist on a dusty old story. Wow - now my mind is doing this
trying to figure out his motives. Are we now going to see the Altmeri stereotype when H gets his hands on that book? Or does he have non-Altmer motives? When a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Argh!
Don't leave us hanging too long on this.
It's funny that I should be reading this now that I'm done writing this recommendation. My version isn't quite as fun as yours, though.
Posted by: Thomas Kaira Feb 28 2011, 10:58 PM
Uh oh... you are a devious one, Rick! When I saw Honditar's request, I believe my skull blasted out of my mind! 
I can't wait to see what you have in store for us here. I hope you don't have to brutally murder Earana as now two people (myself included) have on this board. Three's a crowd, after all.
I also like Teekeus's little slip of tongue... I believe there are now ideas building in my mind... dastardly ideas.... Wait, did I just say that out loud?
Nit:
QUOTE
“No, I do not. It seems that would { } the first order of your task. When you find her, determine what it is that she is after, and how we may be rid of her. I do not want her here, spreading her lies. Make haste, Associate, I wish to be rid of Earana as soon as possible. Now go,” Teekeeus said and walked away.
I think there's a word missing here, that sentence seemed incomplete.
Posted by: mALX Mar 1 2011, 09:58 PM
QUOTE
Do not interrupt me, Associate!” Teekeeus barked,
QUOTE
NO!” she said abruptly, “I mean…there is no need to involve your Guild in this matter. Better if it was kept between just between us.
QUOTE
Pray to The Nine that I don’t refuse it altogether, tree-hugger. You will do as you are told!
QUOTE
bring the book back to me...I mean...to the Guild, where it belongs,”
QUOTE
Steal it? Steal it? You want me to steal from the Chapter Steward? I might as well just resign and join the Fighters Guild. Wait, I hear they don’t take criminals---”
ROFL !!! OMG, your rendition of Teekeeus had me rolling !!! My fave lines quoted - Love this chapter, it is my all time top fave so far !!!
Posted by: Olen Mar 4 2011, 12:50 AM
Well I read this one and I'm glad I did. The first few sections were a little daunting but I'm glad I persevered, this is good. Talendor is an excellent character, his amnesia is an unusual plot device (it put me off slightly initially) but it's really worked well. You've developed him through his actions letting them define him rather than his past, and you've developed him a lot, he's a very rounded character for the among you've written about him. I suspect he's at least somewhat based on a real person(s), either way he's a strong character with realistic weaknesses and strengths.
A list of comments I noted down as I read over it:
1.2: 'At least THAT much looks normal, just too small.' - it's lines like this which make this piece, it's such an accurate observation of male thought patterns.
2 - His confusion was well written and again really formed his character well.
3 - Another feature of this piece I enjoy, his thoughts. This time on the beast races. They're really funny and incisive.
4 - This part (and subsequently) was noticeably cleaner than the earlier parts with fewer tense issues and clunky phrases. His naming himself through requirement was interesting, something which might have been profound forced through circumstance...
5 - Picking up a living (hunting in this case) isn't as easy as it looks or everyone would do it. Nice bit of accuracy from a world-building perspective.
6 - the moral struggle was good though a little quick for my tastes... nice touch there though, says more about Talendor's character (as almost everything does).
8 - Opening to Honditar was a bold move, but it fits with Talendor's character. By this stage he's really taken shape and is great fun to read.
9 - 'Stopping to pick locks might be hazardous to my health', I enjoyed this line.
11 - Not being constrained by gameplay mechanics is good for a story. What works in a game doesn't always make sense in fiction so I liked his letting the bandit go.
13 - The dream sequence was good, it gives a hook to hold the piece together. I enjoyed the mages guild, your vision of the game world is quite different from mine and refreshing.
15 - Your introduction to magic is good. I also loved the phrase ''This should smooth Teekeeus’ scales' , very lore friendly.
It's a good piece, I like his character and thoughts a lot. My main critique would be from a style point of view you have the occasional sentence in a peculiar tense (I'll point out the next I see), and things are a little morally black and white, though that's part of his character so not really an issue (and is very much a personal taste thing).
Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 4 2011, 01:45 AM
@ Everyone - Thank you all so much for every comment and critique. This is still a little nerve-racking because it is so new to me. Your support is what keeps me going.
@ SubRosa - I didn't even realize that I had paraphrased a Star Wars line until I read your comment, and that comment had me rolling!
Glad you got a kick out of the title.
@ ghastley - But what do I do now when I am supposed to do this and I do that instead and then...and then....and...
@ h.e.rider - I'm glad so many were surprised by the curve ball. The end result, just like a curve ball, will either be a swing and a miss or a home run...TBD
@ Chef Thomas - Thanks for the nit catch...picked. I'll give a lil spoiler and tell you that there will not be a crowd.
@ mALX - Glad I was able to rouse another ROLF....I'm gonna keep gunning for a SPEW though...
@ olen - Thanks for joining in and my apologies for the epic lengths of the first few posts. Rookie mistakes that were corrected with the aid and guidance of Acadian and mALX. I really appreciate your critiques and compliments on the first 15 chapters. Because I am so new to this, your input will be invaluable.
--------------------
Chapter 16 – To Cloud Top and Back
Honditar’s mark was north of Chorrol, just as Earana had said. It looked like a pretty good distance, so I stopped in at The Oak & Crosier for some additional provisions before heading out the north gate. Not far after leaving the town, a pathway split off to the north while the main road continued east. I followed the path and shortly the land began to rise. A series of switchbacks helped the path to gain elevation. Someone had even gone to the trouble of building some wooden stairs at a particularly steep portion.
Just past the stairs was a suspension bridge made of wood and rope. It appeared to be in good condition, but I still crossed gingerly, holding the rope rail and ready to grab it if something broke. About halfway across, I stopped and looked to my right. I was awestruck by the view. I could even see the tower of the Imperial Palace from here. With the sun beginning to set, it had a golden cast to it against the purple mountains on the eastern horizon. The sight was breathtaking.
Beyond the bridge, switchbacks became more frequent as the path struggled to climb. I stopped and crouched as movement caught my eye at one of the bends. A wolf was coming around the turn and hadn’t noticed me yet. I removed a vial of poison and applied it to an arrowhead. As the wolf was struck by my anointed arrow, it seemed to gain a green aura. The beast fell and lay motionless halfway through its charge toward me. I walked over to it and assumed that the green I had seen must have been my eyes playing tricks on me. The wolf looked normal now, except for the new appendage protruding from its chest. I used my dagger to skin it, placing the pelt in my pouch and dragging the carcass off of the path.
A bit further up the path, I wasn’t so lucky as to see my next assailant before it saw me. I had just rounded yet another switchback when a blur of silver fury knocked me off of my feet. I wasn’t able to regain my footing in time to prevent a second onslaught from the wolf. He leaped at me and I got my arm up just in time to prevent his jaws from closing on my throat. We began to roll downhill along the path, an odd boulder of silver fur and brown leather. I struggled to keep the wolf from biting areas more vulnerable than my arm as we gained momentum. Suddenly, we hit a large rock where the trail had made a bend. The wolf began howling in pain and broke off the attack. He made a couple circles as he yelped, trying not to stand on his broken leg. This gave me time to draw my sword, but the wolf seemed to think better of pressing the attack in his wounded condition. He took off through the brush, giving more yelps every time he put too much weight on his shattered limb.
I inhaled sharply through clenched teeth as I examined my forearm. Blood had begun to drip from my fingertips. I cast the healing spell twice, stopping the bleeding. It took me a few minutes to find my satchel. It had been flung off during our display of gravity in action. Luckily, all of my possessions were still in the bag. The only other casualties of the encounter were a few of my arrows that had snapped as we tumbled.
I finally reached the end of the path as the sun was casting its final light before ducking behind the mountains. The ruins of Cloud Top weren’t large. There was area of overgrown pavers, roughly square in shape. Ruined stone pillars were set at each corner and what appeared to be the remnant of a campfire was between the two closest pillars. It seemed an unlikely place to find a book. As I approached the extinguished campfire, it began to take on a ghastly shape. It was a charred corpse, burned so badly that I couldn’t tell if it had been man or mer. All I knew for certain was that it was too large to have been a Bosmer.
I searched the ruin and discovered a chest. Grinning to myself, I quickly opened it, only to have the grin wiped away when I did not find a book. All it contained were three coins and a crystal ball. I kept the contents and continued to search. After checking every nook and cranny, I squatted with my back against a broken pillar set in the center of the ruins. I looked at the corpse.
“Hey fella, you haven’t seen a book lying around have you?” I asked the charred body.
I got up and walked toward it. Its arms were clasped across its chest. Closer inspection revealed that there was something clutched under its arms. I bent down to check and was amazed to see it was a book. I pulled it away, trying to ignore the sound of charred flesh separating from its frame. I brushed it off and my eyes widened as I realized that the book hadn’t even been singed. I couldn’t read the title, but that didn’t surprise me because Earana had said as much. This had to be the book though, so I put it in my satchel and stood up.
The sun had passed below the peaks in the distance. The sky was a splash of vivid color, bright orange at the horizon, fading through pinks and purples into a deep blue that promised the arrival of stars. High clouds had grabbed some of the pink and held onto it, as if they refused to let the day go. Since there was level ground and shelter from the wind, I decided to camp here and head back to Chorrol in the morning. I figured that Mr. Crispy wouldn’t mind, and if he was frightened or offended by the campfire I built, he kept those opinions to himself.
After a very satisfying meal, I lay on my bedroll and looked at the stars. For the first time since my adventure began, I was treated to the sight of Nirn’s two moons. They looked close enough to touch if I stood up. It was with this celestial showcase that I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
* * *
When I awoke shortly after dawn, my overcooked campmate was still staring eyeless at the sky. After breakfast, I considered moving the body into the brush. I certainly wasn’t going to bury it, but placing it out of view had somehow seemed the decent thing to do. I grabbed its hands to drag it away and they immediately snapped off at the wrist with a crackling sound that turned my stomach. Disgusted, I threw the hands into the brush. It seemed that the heat from whatever had burned this poor fellow actually fused the body to the pavers under it. Rather than carry roasted chunks to the bushes all morning, I decided that ravens or other scavengers could have all the fun.
Judging from the sun, it was about eight o’clock when I started the descent from Cloud Top. During the climb yesterday, I had my back to the view when I wasn’t busy fighting off wolves. Now it seemed I could see half of Cyrodiil on my return trip. The view was spectacular. The trees were mostly evergreens up here, and the grass had a golden hue compared to the meadow grasses down in the Great Forest. Firs, pines and spruce ruled the skies, while mountain laurel and holly fought for the sun along the forest floor.
I had pulled my bow and kept an arrow nocked after I discovered that the wolf carcass from the day before had been dragged away. Whatever had moved it might prefer some warmer, fresher blood. But the walk down the mountain passed without incident. Soon I was within the sight of the Chorrol town walls. As I entered the town gate, I heard the thrum of a bowstring and looked to my right. Honditar was at the targets behind the Fighters Guild. He saw me at the same time and motioned for me to join him.
“You’re going to have a tough time getting in the Guild hall. Earana has been camped in front of the building since dawn,” the Altmer said.
“I don’t know if there is a back door,” I replied.
“There is not. But listen. I’ll go out and run interference for you. Wait until I have her standing with her back to the door, then you sneak in unnoticed. The woman is such a fuss-bucket that I should be able to keep her engaged until you come back out of the hall. Just wave to me through the window when you are ready to exit,” he explained.
“Okay.”
The plan worked like a charm, and I was inside the hall looking for Teekeeus a few minutes later. I found him in the dining area and sat down in the chair next to his.
“How was your trip to Cloud Top, Associate?” the Chapter Steward inquired.
“Successful, sir,” I replied.
“You found the book?” he said with wide eyes, “My trust in you was well placed, it seems. Hand it over, if you please.”
I dug the book out of my satchel and handed it to Teekeeus.
“Ah yes, this is indeed the correct book,” he said with what looked like glee. It’s hard to read Argonian facial expressions. “You’ve not been able to open it I presume.”
“I didn’t even try. Earana said I wouldn’t be able to read it anyway, and since I couldn’t rea---“
“Yes, yes, yes…Fine. You have shown yourself worthy of the Guild, and for that I shall give you the recommendation that you require. Follow me, Associate,” he said and rose from the table.
I followed Teekeeus downstairs to the counter in the main lobby. He pulled out some parchment, a quill and ink, and a small cube of red wax. He wrote his recommendation, and then folded the paper in such a way that the bottom edge was centered between the two folds. He placed the small wax cube on that edge and then melted it with a well controlled and very small fireball spell, stamping the melted wax with a large ring on his left hand and sealing the letter. The ring left an imprint of the stylized eye that is recognizable as the Mages Guild symbol. My jaw was slack with amazement at the control he just exhibited. Had I tried that, there would have been only ashes instead of my paperwork, if not a charred counter as well.
“Here you are, Associate,” he said as he handed it to me, “Now you must excuse me. I must ensure that this book is kept safe.”
Now for the hard part…following him without being obvious...--------------------
EDIT: Nits picked.
Posted by: SubRosa Mar 4 2011, 02:35 AM
I love the walk from Chorrol to Cloud Top. It is the best part of this quest.
High clouds had grabbed some of the pink and held onto it, as if they refused to let the day go.
Was a lovely description.
An excellent description of Cloud Top, especially of the campfire that was not! Talendor prying the book from the charred corpse's dry, dead hands was a good touch, and a warning of things to come!
The part about Honditar running interference with Earana made me chuckle inside. It seems that he is always talking to her when I go there in the game.
nits:
I stopped and crouched as movement caught my eye at one of the bends. A wolf was rounding the bend and hadn’t noticed me yet.
It is minor, and not a real problem, but you do have bend twice in close proximity. You might consider changing the second instance to something like corner, or turn.
I searched the ruin and discovered a chest. With a grin, I opened the chest, only to have the grin wiped away when I did not find a book.
Same thing here with chest. You might change the second time to it.
“Ah yes, this is indeed the correct book,” he said with what looked like glee, it’s hard to read Argonian facial expressions, “You’ve not been able to open it I presume.”
This is a very long sentence. You might break it up into two or three sentences. For example:
“Ah yes, this is indeed the correct book.” It was hard to read Argonian facial expressions, but Teekeus looked delighted. “You’ve not been able to open it I presume?”
Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 4 2011, 03:40 AM
I had just written this quest last week! It seems you and I both noticed the same things, but Julian and Talendor were looking at different things. Still it's fun to read something like this so soon after I had written it.
And yes, I agree with Sage Rose, Honditar is always talking to Earana. When does he ever find the time to go hunting? Some mountain man!
Loved your descriptions of the day, especially of the tumble with the wolf and of Mr. Crispy.
I did have a few nits:
QUOTE
I struggled to keep the wolf from biting areas more lethal than my arm as we gained momentum.
I had a bit of confusion with the term
lethal in this context. To me, lethal is a very aggressive term -- it describes the modified subject as being capable of inflicting death. But in this context, you're telling me that the wolf is not able to inflict a more deadly bite than a nip on the arm. Using lethal here just kind of sits wrong with me - it feels like it's trying to make the arm into a deadly weapon that could hurt the wolf, rather than the other way around. May I suggest a more passive term like
vulnerable?Oh, and it's
anointed, not
annointed.
And
QUOTE
I gave a sharp inhale through clenched teeth as I examined my forearm.
Inhale is a verb,
inhalation is the noun you want here.
Again, I continue to enjoy the depth of detail you're giving the Chorrol Mages Guild. Well done!
Posted by: ghastley Mar 4 2011, 05:17 PM
Once again a fight where the loser runs away. If you're changing the rules, I'm pleased to see you stick with the new ones.
And Teekeeus has a black belt in Origami? Not to mention precision wax-melting. (No wonder Chorrol isn't the Destruction academy for the Mages Guild). Nice detail to point up his advanced skills that make him chapter head material. He consistently summons low-level scamps in the hall, which always reminds me of Jeanne Frasoric, who is not in the same league.
Posted by: Grits Mar 4 2011, 06:22 PM
Oh, how I love Cloud Top! That trail is sure a bad place to get knocked over by a wolf.
I figured that Mr. Crispy wouldn’t mind, and if he was frightened or offended by the campfire I built, he kept those opinions to himself.
I enjoyed Talendor’s irreverent thoughts about his crunchy companion.
Posted by: Olen Mar 6 2011, 01:58 PM
Good part. Fun to read as ever.
QUOTE
I figured that Mr. Crispy wouldn’t mind
<sinp>
my overcooked campmate
More entertaining observations from a certain bosmer... His inner thoughts do wonders for his character.
QUOTE
melted it with a well controlled and very small fireball spell
I liked this, you stay quite true to the game world but subtle changes like this make it richer. Control is going to be harder than raw power, but equally the game would have little use for it, fiction on the other hand...
Posted by: ureniashtram Mar 6 2011, 06:54 PM
He-hey! Umm.. Let's just say that I'm awkward like a schoolgirl when put into introductions!
Have followed Talendor's story from the Prison to this! (I may not comment much, but I read all the same!) All I can say is that I can only hope to aspire to have a writing such as yours! I mean seriously, the way you describe the sight Talendor witnessed when ascending to Cloud Top.. Amazing!
Awaiting the next chapter with eagerness!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 7 2011, 05:41 PM
@ SubRosa - Thank you for catching the nits...they've been picked. Honditar and Earana do indeed make writing that into the story very easy. I think he secretly has the hots for her...
@ h.e.rider - Thanks to you as well for the nits...they've also been picked. Between you and Rosa, we'll make a writer out of me yet!
I have only scratched the bare surface of your story so far, but I think I might have to do a spoiler read and check out what you wrote for this quest. I am intensely curious...
@ ghastley - Perhaps Teekeeus wants the book to make swans and cranes out of it's pages.
@ Grits - Talendor recommends that future travelers don't attempt tumbling with wolves. He could also use a lesson in respect for the deceased...
@ Olen - It seemed only natural that a master of a craft should be able to use it deftly. I'm glad you found that "step-out" from game mechanics plausable.
@ ureniashtram - Welcome aboard and thank you for your comments.
On that note....I want to thank everyone else as well. As always, you are the ones that keep me going. I especially appreciate the nits. They are invaluable for the learning process.
--------------------
Chapter 17 – Something Stolen and Someone Missing
“I am off to my room as well. I need a wash and a change of clothes,” I said, following Teekeeus up the stairs.
The Argonian passed through the library and continued up the stairs to the sleeping quarters on the next level. As I entered the foyer on the third floor, I saw Teekeeus enter the corner room. I walked on past, making it appear that I was heading to my room. I stopped and placed my back to the wall as soon as I rounded the corner and listened. Moments later, I was rewarded with the sound of his door opening and closing, and then the doorway to the stairs mimicking his door. I peeked back around the corner, making sure no one else was about.
Quick and quiet knot-head…let’s not get caught…I was surprised to find the door to his room unlocked. I snuck in and quietly closed it behind me. Immediately to my right was a cupboard. I tried the doors and found them unlocked. The cupboard shelves had been removed and it was being used as a wardrobe. Fine clothing hung on pegs, but no book was to be found. I moved to a chest that was next to the cupboard. Once again, I found the container unlocked. I opened it and was pleased to see the book in plain sight at the bottom of the chest.
Someone needs to show our Chapter Steward how a lock works…I took the book and retreated from Teekeeus’ quarters as quietly as I had entered. Once I was back in my room, I quickly washed and changed. Taking my satchel with me, I headed downstairs. When I reached the lobby, I looked out the window to see if Earana was still waiting outside. She was, and true to his word, Honditar was keeping her occupied. I waved at him and he slowly maneuvered until Earana’s back was to the door. I exited and went to the left, hopping off of the stoop and heading to the rear of the building. I scaled low stone walls to loop around Stenndar Chapel and made my way to the south gate. When I reached Honditar’s house, I waited until he arrived a few minutes later.
“God’s Blood, that woman can talk!” he said, unlocking his door.
We went inside and I pulled the book from my satchel and laid it on the table. Honditar picked it up and examined it. Satisfied that it was indeed what he expected, he placed the book in the same chest that had swallowed thirty of my Septims a few days ago.
“Okay,” I said, “Would you mind telling me why one of my first acts as a Guild Associate had to be larceny? From the Chapter Steward, no less!”
“It’s really very simple. This book could not be allowed to end up in the hands of either Teekeeus or Earana. It is very powerful. Those two are so engulfed in their feud that this would have meant the end of one or both of them. I simply removed the weapon and kept the balance of power intact,” he explained.
“What will you do with it?” I asked.
“Nothing at all. It can rot in my chest for all I care. I can’t read the thing anyway. But now, neither can Earana or Teekeeus,” he replied.
I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I guess no harm was done.
“Did you see where she went?” I asked, “I need to get back and pack my things. I am off to Bravil as soon as possible.”
“She was heading toward The Gray Mare when I left her.”
“Good. Well, I am off then. Thanks again Honditar. I’ll stop by next time I am back in Chorrol,” I said.
“Please do, Talendor. Good luck, and remember, aim true…”
“…and don’t be seen,” I finished for him, smiling as I left.
* * *
I decided to do some shopping before going back to the Guild hall. I still had a wolf pelt to sell and I needed to replace the snapped arrows. I stopped in Northern Goods first and walked up the stairs. Seed-Neeus was sitting in a chair and sounded like she might be crying. It was so hard to tell what emotions were being displayed by an Argonian, except for anger.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
She stood and smoothed her dress. When she turned to me, I realized that Argonians are capable of tears.
“My daughter…you remember her…Dar-ma,” she said.
“Yes.”
“She is missing and I don’t know what to do. She went to Hackdirt, on a business errand for me. I wasn’t feeling well this morning, so she insisted on going for me. She hasn’t come back and it is not like her to be gone longer than necessary. I fear that something has happened to her,” she was saying, running the words together in barely controlled panic.
“Why don’t you sit back down and take a deep breath,” I suggested. She did so, and then explained further.
“She left on Blossom – that’s her horse – to go to Etira Moslin’s in Hackdirt. We do a small amount of business with Etira. Not much volume, but Etira pays well. Anyway, that was at dawn, and Dar-Ma should have been back by now.”
I felt genuine sympathy for her. There was something about a child being separated from its parent that tugged at my heart-strings. I decided that my trip to Bravil might have to be delayed.
“Tell me where Hackdirt is and I will go look for her. I have a few things to do first, but they won’t take long,” I told her.
“Really?” she said, her eyes widening, “I cannot thank you enough. Hackdirt is an isolated village south of here. Look for her horse, Blossom, a brown and white mare. Dar-Ma loves that animal and would never willingly abandon her.”
“Try not to worry too much,” I said, trying to sound comforting.
“Thank you Talendor. Please bring Dar-Ma back with you.”
“I’ll do my best,” I replied and left the store.
I made my other stop at Fire & Steel, replacing the broken arrows. I was able to sell the wolf pelt to Rasheda as well. I hadn’t wanted to bother Seed-Neeus with a business transaction.
* * *
I entered my room at the Guild hall and stared, dropping my satchel to the floor. It was a disaster. The bed had been stripped. All of my belongings were strewn about. The cupboard and chest were open with their contents scattered everywhere.
“YOU!” boomed a voice from behind me that made me jump out of my skin. I turned to find Teekeeus glaring and hissing ominously, his fists clenched into tight balls of fury.
“Where is my book, Associate?” he bellowed, “Where is it? I know you took it and gave it to Earana, didn’t you?”
“Your book? Oh, you mean the book I brought back to the Guild from Cloud Top. I have no idea. The last I saw of it was when I handed it to you,” I lied.
“That’s a pile of horse apples and you know it!” Teekeeus fumed.
“Really, sir, all I did was clean up and then go out to do some shopping. I have no idea what could have happened to the book,” I replied, which was half true.
“You listen to me, you tree-hugging piece of…” he paused for a second with a hiss, “I can’t prove it now, but if I ever can, you can count on me making your expulsion a top priority! I’ll be watching you.”
With that, the Argonian stomped off and started searching the next room. I cleaned my room as fast as possible. I gathered all of my possessions and quietly stepped to the stairs to avoid Teekeeus’ notice. Once I was down the stairs, I hurried my pace until I was outside, standing in Great Oak Plaza. I had just caught my breath when…
“YOU!” shouted a female voice to my right.
Are you kidding me?“Yes, you, Bosmer,” said Earana as she strutted toward me, “Where’s my book?”
“I…um…I haven’t left for Cloud Top yet. I am leaving this evening and should be back in a day or two. I had to start my studies, you see, and I couldn’t leave right away. Teekeeus would have become suspicious,” I embellished.
“Is that so?” she replied, looking at me skeptically.
“Yes ma’am. My room in the Guild hall doesn’t have a door, so I am off to the Oak and Crosier to rent a room for the night. I leave for Cloud Top in the morning.”
“I thought you just said you are leaving tonight,” she said, arching an eyebrow.
“I meant I am leaving the Guild hall tonight,” I fibbed further, cringing inside at my misstep.
She stared at me for a second, as if trying to size up the truth of my statements. I guess she believed me because her demeanor softened slightly.
“Okay then. Just get it to me as soon as possible. And remember, this is to stay just between you and I,” she said.
“Yes ma’am. Good day,” I replied and started walking away as fast as I could without looking like I was trying to escape her. I rounded the corner and stopped, peeking back to be sure Earana would not be able to see me leave through the south gate. As soon as it was clear, I bolted for the gate and ran to Honditar’s house.
I pounded furiously on the door. Honditar must have thought he was under attack because he had a dagger in his hand when he opened it. I walked right in without an invite.
“Do you have any idea of the grief this little stunt of yours has caused me?” I yelled.
“It occurred to me that you may suffer some minor repercussions. Did you think Teekeeus would never discover the book was missing?” he stated mildly, as if it was a simple fact that I should have known.
“Repercussions…REPERCUSSIONS?” I barked at him with my arms tensed and fists balled with anger. “Teekeeus is convinced that I stole the book. He wants to drum me out of the Guild!”
“Calm down Talendor. Of course he thinks it was you. You are new. I doubt he has had anything stolen before you arrived,” he said calmly.
I was furious and speechless. I stood there gritting my teeth and clenching my fists.
“If you don’t exhale, your head is going to explode,” he added, just as calmly.
I deliberately held my breath even longer, and then started to feel dizzy. I exhaled and sat down heavily on the bench next to the table.
“Unless you left evidence, he can never know it was you. This will all pass, don’t worry,” Honditar said, in that same calm voice that was starting to grate on my nerves.
“Well, my
friend,” I said with a little sarcasm, “You are going to help me with something. There will be no
fee this time. I have paid enough today. I need you to mark the location of Hackdirt on my map.”
“Might I ask why?”
“Dar-Ma has gone missing and I told Seed-Neeus that I would try to find her.” I said, pulling out my map, “And while you’re at it, tell me anything I might need to know about Hackdirt and the surrounding area.”
Honditar raised his eyebrows, but complied. I changed into my field gear as he spoke. He said that he didn’t know much about Hackdirt, that the citizens were secretive and unfriendly. When he finished, I snatched my map back and thanked him sarcastically. I walked out the door and left for Hackdirt without saying good bye.
--------------------
EDIT - Nit picked.
Posted by: SubRosa Mar 7 2011, 05:51 PM
“God’s Blood, that woman can talk!” he said, unlocking his door.
He's not one to point fingers!
Are you kidding me?
This had me nearly laughing out loud. First one, then the other! Perfect!
Poor Talendor. As much as I feel sorry for him though, it was fun watching him squirm!
nits:
Not really a nit, just an observation. You might describe Blossom as a Paint, rather than brown and white.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 7 2011, 06:31 PM
That was the one thing about this quest that bugged me. If you give the book to one then steal it back and give it to the other, what are the repercussions there? Is Teekeeus so inanely clueless he never looks to see that the book is gone? Is Earana such a blonde (sorry Buffy, Jerric, et al) that she thinks the book is safe where ever she stows it? I never played it out that way because the spell just isn't worth it at higher levels.
I haven't posted this quest yet. I'm a month ahead of my posts, and am polishing Sancre Tor while segueing into Miscarcand. So you can't do a spoiler read yet!
I did catch one nit:
QUOTE
Immediately to my right was cupboard.
It looks like 'a' ran and hid from Teekeeus!
Posted by: Grits Mar 8 2011, 02:06 AM
Oh, how I love this chapter! Earana chatting up Honditar, Talendor getting yelled at then yelling at Honditar, then Honitar with his unruffled “It occurred to me that you may suffer some minor repercussions.” I was rolling! I really did think that Honditar had a nefarious plan.
I felt genuine sympathy for her. There was something about a child being separated from its parent that tugged at my heart-strings. I decided that my trip to Bravil might have to be delayed.
Aww. Of course he’s going to help Dar-Ma. Talendor is such an appealing character!
Posted by: Olen Mar 9 2011, 08:27 PM
Good part, as the others have said your observations on the characters are hilarious and really made this part. Also having some repercussions for stealing the book was nice, I believe Teekius does mention it's gone missing in game in a rather pointed way but that's all. And Telandor is as well without the spell, it cost a ludicrous amount to cast anyway (talk about a rubbish reward).
And Hackdirt next, that's a quest that I don't think I've seen written elsehwere in spite of it being on of my favourites. Lovecraft referances abound! My excitment is like... a thing which cannot be described. ;P
Nit (?): and then the doorway to the stairs mimicking his door. - this fragment seemed a little odd to me. Something between the repetition of 'door' (albeit one with -way appended) which would have been fine except that 'mimicking' jarred me somehow. It seemed like an odd word and an awkward fragment. Might just be me though so it's really just something to consider.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 10 2011, 06:01 AM
@ SubRosa - He's not one to point fingers!
I know, right? Thanks for the nit. I actually fixed it in the next chapter. Unfortunately that makes it look like Seed-Neeus is not horse savvy, like the author.
@ h.e.rider - Thanks for catching the typo. Picked. I agree about the whole rip-off quest thing. I always just give it to Teekeeus and it's off to the next one.
@ Grits - Thanks for noticing Talendor's ethics. They were nice to him, so....
@ Olen - I agree on the nit. You wouldn't believe how many times I rewrote that sentence. I finally settled on that one.
I doubt the next chapter with be Lovecraft-esque, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Thanks to everyone again for the support.
This chapter ran just a hair over the suggested 2K word limit, but it was unavoidable... My apologies for the extra 150 or so words...
--------------------
Chapter 18 – Hindered, Helped, and Harrowed
I hadn’t bothered folding the map when I left Honditar’s house, and looked at it now to get my bearings. I needed to travel due south. Judging by the distance, I understood Seed-Neeus’ concern. Dar-Ma and Blossom could have gone there at least twice by now. I started through the woods toward Hackdirt.
I loved walking in The Great Forest. It was so much greener than the highlands. Lush ferns clustered beneath the oaks, elms, and maples. The trees were everywhere, but sparse enough to let plenty of sunshine reach the ground. There were several meadows with late season wildflowers. Tall grass rippled in the breeze like waves on a green ocean. Squirrels chased each other and jumped impossible distances among the branches above. Chipmunks scurried busily along the forest floor, running their little chipmunk errands. The sights and sounds did wonders to ease my anger at Honditar.
As I continued southward, I saw ruins up ahead. They were similar to the first buildings I saw after crawling out of the sewers. Lofty marble arches that looked as if a strong breeze should topple them. Since they were so close to my intended route, I decided to have a closer look.
Mosses and lichens had latched on to much of the stone. I ascended a set of stairs to what I thought would be a platform or roof. At the top, I discovered another set of stairs spiraling downward. They ended at what appeared to be a door. A large creeper had woven itself in and out of the arches that surrounded this part of the structure. It was as thicker than my waist and gave the impression of a giant snake trying to constrict the ruins. The temptation to investigate beyond the portal was strong, but I wasn’t here to investigate. I had more important things to tend to and left the platform to get back on my original path.
A few miles further, wood and masonry framed buildings came into view. Many of the buildings had been burned. This must have happened some time ago, based on the amount of ivy and moss that clung to them. Further into the village, I saw a house that wasn’t burnt, and next to that, a building with a sign that read ‘Moslin’s Inn’.
Seed-Neeus had mentioned Etira Moslin. That’s who Dar-Ma was supposed to meet…I decided to explore the hamlet a little more before I entered any buildings. Most of them, including some of the burned ones, faced a central village square. At the opposite end was a chapel. Between here and the chapel, I could see another building with a sign and headed that way. As I approached, I could make out ‘Moslin’s Dry Goods’ in the fading daylight. Since this was Dar-ma’s destination, I entered the shop. I walked up to the Imperial woman that stood behind the counter. Just as I started to deliver salutations, she abruptly spoke in a stern voice.
“Let me give you some advice, stranger. Leave now. You ain’t welcome here.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that. I need to ask you something. I am looking for an Argonian girl. Her name is Dar-Ma. Have you seen her?”
“I don’t know any Dar-Ma. If you’re talking about that cursed Argonian swindler from Chorrol, I’d like to know where she is as well,” she replied with a scowl.
“I would hardly call Seed-Neeus a ‘swindler’, and I am speaking of her daughter. She came to make the delivery today because Seed-Neeus was under the weather. That was this morning. You are Etira Moslin, are you not?”
“I am, but the girl never showed up. How am I supposed to run a business without any merchandise? You tell Seed-Neeus I want half off on the next delivery!” she barked.
She’s lying.“Well, if she happens to come in, please tell her that Talendor is looking for her,” I said and left the market. I decided to start searching near the store first, and work my way outward from there. Going behind the shop, I heard a sound from inside a burned out building. I poked my head in and there was the paint mare that Seed-Neeus had described.
I knew that woman was lying!I turned around and went right back into the shop, knowing I had her now.
“Ok…tell me where Dar-Ma is!” I demanded.
“I already told you she never showed up!” she replied as snidely as before.
“Oh
yeah? What’s her horse doing behind your store then,
huh?” I asked, punctuating each word with an accusatory finger.
“That’s my horse! I’ve had it for years,” she stated, matter-of-factly.
I was speechless for a moment. I couldn’t refute her statement with certainty. The horse may have been hers. I had never seen Blossom before.
Close your mouth and stop pointing, knot-head…To try and recover, I reminded her of my message with a stern tone and strode out of the shop.
Smoooooooth…Frowning, I glanced toward the chapel. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I decided to check there next. The inside was dimly lit by a few candles. They were fighting a losing battle against the night that had fallen since my arrival. I started walking down the aisle toward an altar when someone entered the chapel. I spun around to see an Imperial man walking toward me. A couple more people also entered the church. I walked up to the first man and asked if he had seen Dar-Ma.
“Shh. We can’t talk here. They’ll get suspicious. The girl is in danger,” he whispered, pausing a moment and glancing around, “Meet me at my house in ten minutes. It’s located at the southeast corner of town. I’ll leave the door unlocked,” and then he spoke loud enough to be heard, “Go away stranger!”
He turned and made a show of stomping out of the chapel. I stood there looking at the other parishioners. Each of them was glaring at me.
“Well…um…I guess I’ll do as he said and leave you folks to…whatever. Have a nice…um…meeting,” I said as I headed for the door.
Once outside, I turned right and headed for the man’s house. The door was unlocked as promised and I entered without knocking. He was in the middle of the room, waiting for me.
“You came. Good. I don’t have much time. I have to get back to the gathering.”
“Where’s Dar-Ma?” I asked.
“You have to believe me. I had no idea what they were planning,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“They want to bring back the Deep Ones. I thought I did too, but…she’s so innocent…” he trailed off.
“Hey! What have you done with her?” I demanded with enough force to jar him back to the moment.
“They’ve got her down in the caverns. They’re going to sacrifice her! Do you understand? You’ve got to save her!” he implored.
“Where are these caverns?” I asked impatiently.
“Take this key,” he said, handing it to me, “It will open any of the trapdoors that lead down to the caves. Every house in town has one.”
“Which one is best?”
“The one in Moslin’s Inn, it is nearest to where she is being held. Wait until midnight, when everyone is at the gathering. I have to go. I’ve been here too long already,” he said as he turned and left.
I didn’t even get to ask his name or thank him. I waited a few minutes, and then left the house. The town seemed deserted. It was eerily dark and quiet. I ducked into the shadows of a burned out house and waited for midnight. Time drew out like a blade. An owl hooted and almost made me jump out of my skin. Even the crickets sounded ominous. I couldn’t wait any longer and headed to the inn.
I entered the common room and found it empty. I searched for a trap door and discovered it in a rear corner. I unlocked a padlock and removed it from its hasp. Opening the hatch as slowly as I could, I readied myself for danger. I didn’t even realize that I had drawn my sword. Nothing jumped out and I could hear no sound from below, so down I went.
There was flickering light to my left. I cast the life detection spell that Athragar had taught me and was rewarded with a pink glow in that same direction. Tightening my grip on the hilt of my sword, I eased my way toward the source of the light. As I peeked around the corner, I was delighted to see a cage with Dar-ma shimmering in a rose colored aura. She stood as I approached.
“Talendor!” she exclaimed with obvious relief.
“Be quiet!” I whispered harshly, “Someone, or some-
thing, might hear you.”
“Please, you have to get me out of here,” she tried to say in a whisper, but apparently Argonians can’t pull that off. It seems that the best they can manage is a low growling hiss, and it sounded
so loud.
“I am going to get you out…just…shh…
please.”
I sheathed my sword and looked around. That Zenitor God, or whatever its name is, was with me again because there was a key on a stool a few feet away. I grabbed it and sure enough, it unlocked the cage.
“Now follow me…
quietly,” I whispered.
We were almost back to the ladder when a husky shirtless man entered the chamber from a passage to the left.
“You there! HOLD!” he yelled.
I grabbed Dar-Ma’s arm and dragged her to the ladder running.
“Climb…FAST!” I implored her while drawing my sword.
I followed as quickly as I could, climbing with one hand and keeping my sword in a defensive position with the other. The half naked assailant had a monstrous club that he did not intend to tickle me with. He took a mighty swing that intended to shatter bones. I dropped my sword to gain a better purchase on the ladder and swung my feet up out of the way just in time. The club splintered most of the lower ladder rungs instead of my legs. As I yanked myself upward, another shirtless man ran into the chamber. Dar-Ma was just getting through the aperture. I scrambled up after her as soon as my feet found an unbroken rung. Once through the opening, I slammed the hatch shut and stood on it.
“Your horse is in a burned out building –“
The trap door heaved upward and knocked me off my feet. I leapt up and jumped on it with all my weight, hearing a yell and a thud beneath me.
“It’s behind the store. Go now. RUN! Don’t wait for me!” I yelled.
Dar-ma bolted out of the inn, hiking her skirt to run as fast as she could. Odd thoughts happen at odd times. The sight of bare lizard legs from mid-thigh down was one of those times. The trap door was trying to open again, and that jolted me back to reality. I looked for the lock so that I could secure the hatch, but was not able to locate it. Bouncing on that trap door was starting to remind me of my coach ride to Chorrol. Suddenly, I was airborne as the hatch few open. I crashed against the wall of the inn and tumbled to the floor.
The naked half of an attacker was through the opening before I could raise the hatch and slam it again. But the effect of pinching his torso in the opening bought me all the time I needed. Using the door like a torso-loaded springboard, I jumped toward the inn’s exit. My attacker grunted as I executed this maneuver, and then yelled for me to stop. As soon as I was outside, I reached into my mind for help. I extended my arm and released purple power, conjuring a skeleton to buy more time.
The timing was perfect. The skeleton’s axe split the skull of the first man through the door. I didn’t wait around to see further results. Running as fast as my short little legs could carry me, I left the hamlet, crashing through the undergrowth of the forest. I stopped after a few minutes and listened for sounds of pursuit. My pulse was pounding between my ears and my breath could not come fast enough. I sat there panting and nocked an arrow. I would be a difficult shot, considering the darkness and the undergrowth, but I no longer had a sword.
Once I was satisfied that there were no shirtless pursuers, I started walking back toward Chorrol. I thought of Dar-ma and hoped that she had made good her escape. I really didn’t want to have to go looking for her again.
Posted by: SubRosa Mar 10 2011, 11:48 PM
Now that was an exciting adventure in Hackdirt! In spite of some initial fumblings, Talendor managed to find Dar-Ma, break her out, and flee to safety with the foul denizens on his heels. Just how many Lovecraftian tales tend to end (except that Talendor made it out with all his marbles...) The acrobatics on the trapdoor were an especially nice touch.
That Zenitor God
Maybe one day Talendor will get it right!
The half naked assailant had a monstrous club that he did not intend to tickle me with.
Thank Zenitor it was not a naked assailant with a monstrous club...
Posted by: Acadian Mar 11 2011, 04:57 AM
Chapters 14-18 -
I loved how Athragar refered Talendor to Henantier or Dagail for dream interpretations! How very appropriate.
As soon as Honditar induced his fingers into the mountain, I assessed his motivation for obtaining the book to be that he would use it as leverage to get into Erana's skirt. Oh well.
'I deliberately held my breath even longer, and then started to feel dizzy. I exhaled and sat down heavily on the bench next to the table.'
This is pure and delightfully Talendor!
The walk down to Hackdirt through the Great Forest once again reminds us that Talendor really is a wood elf.
And the rescue of a damsel in distress! What a sharp contrast the lovely Dar-Ma makes compared to the sullen hissing Teekeus. One makes you want to rescue her while the other makes you want to nail his tail to the floor.
Posted by: Grits Mar 12 2011, 01:46 PM
Chipmunks scurried busily along the forest floor, running their little chipmunk errands.
It’s lovely to go on a walk through the Great Forest with Talendor and his animal friends.
“Well…um…I guess I’ll do as he said and leave you folks to…whatever. Have a nice…um…meeting,” I said as I headed for the door.
You have perfectly captured my impression of Hackdirt. What the heck is going on there?!
The half naked assailant had a monstrous club that he did not intend to tickle me with.
Happily, Talendor already pointed out that the man was shirtless.
Bouncing on that trap door was starting to remind me of my coach ride to Chorrol.
The whole escape was a delightful blend of exciting and hilarious. Then the skeleton’s axe through the skull brings back the very real danger. I can’t help but think Honditar won’t be upset that Talendor dropped his sword.
Posted by: mALX Mar 13 2011, 03:02 AM
QUOTE
I searched the ruin and discovered a chest. Grinning to myself, I quickly opened it, only to have the grin wiped away when I did not find a book. All it contained were three coins and a crystal ball. I kept the contents and continued to search.
QUOTE
trying to ignore the sound of charred flesh separating from its frame.
I love these two little details !! Who would think of searching the burned corpse first? And the (GAAAAK) description as well - both Awesome additions I have never seen in another fic !!
The whole scene when Talendor storms into Honditar's house mad is as perfect as it gets !! The dialogue, actions, every bit of it - just perfect, and so easily visualized !! My fave part:
QUOTE
“If you don’t exhale, your head is going to explode,” he added, just as calmly.
I deliberately held my breath even longer, and then started to feel dizzy
The whole Hackdirt chapter was great!! This was hilarious:
QUOTE
Dar-ma bolted out of the inn, hiking her skirt to run as fast as she could. Odd thoughts happen at odd times. The sight of bare lizard legs from mid-thigh down was one of those times.
Great Chapters !!! It's really surprising to me that this is your first write - you have found a hidden talent, then!! You have a knack for slipping in these little detais that elude so many (including myself) - a lot of real "face/palm" moments that make so much sense and I wonder why it wasn't thought of before. Your humor is subtle, and can slip by for a second. Then I'll think, "What did that say?" and go back to reread - several times since the story began you have had me rolling, most especially with your portrayal of Teekius and the chapter when he stole the book and brought it to Honditar. Really Great Write !!!!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 14 2011, 05:50 AM
@ SubRosa - By Zenitor, Talendor WILL learn that guy's name...one day.
Thank Zenitor it was not a naked assailant with a monstrous club...
tsk...tsk...tsk
@ Acadian - Good to see you again.
I loved how Athragar refered Talendor to Henantier or Dagail for dream interpretations! How very appropriate.
Glad you liked that. It seemed like a no brainer.
...he would use it as leverage to get into Erana's skirt. Oh well.
As much as he chats her up, you would think so! LOL
@ Grits - An equal "tsk...tsk...tsk" to you as well re: the monstrous club.
You have perfectly captured my impression of Hackdirt. What the heck is going on there?!
What is going on there? It's like Children of the Corn with shirtless club wielders instead of children.
@ mALX - Great to see you again as well.
QUOTE(mALX @ Mar 12 2011, 09:02 PM)

The whole Hackdirt chapter was great!! This was hilarious:
QUOTE
Dar-ma bolted out of the inn, hiking her skirt to run as fast as she could. Odd thoughts happen at odd times. The sight of bare lizard legs from mid-thigh down was one of those times.
It's those pesky imps I tell ya...
Thank you for the wonderful compliment too.
@
Everyone - Equal thanks to all of you for your comments and support.
--------------------
Chapter 19 – Learning More in Chorrol
“You’re out awfully late tonight,” the guard at the gate said with a raised eyebrow.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” I replied with a fatigued sigh. Then I asked him if he had seen Dar-Ma come through the gates.
“The Argonian girl? Yes, she came in not too long ago.”
“Great! Thank you sir,” I said, and passed through the gate.
I went straight to Northern Goods. I was surprised to find the door unlocked at this late hour. When I entered, Dar-Ma was there and immediately gave me a crushing hug. She called me ‘her hero’ and thanked me profusely. Then she practically dragged me up the stairs. Her mother was waiting there.
“I can never repay you for saving my daughter’s life. You will have our friendship and gratitude until the end of our days,” Seed-Neeus said and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Being kissed by an Argonian is somewhat like being kissed by a cheese grater with teeth. The scales are a tad rough.
“I am just glad it all worked out,” I replied humbly.
She told me to come back at a more convenient time and she would gladly teach me something about bartering to improve my mercantile skills. I said that I would and after bidding them both a good night, I left for the inn. It felt genuinely good to help someone else after so many had helped me. When I entered The Oak & Crosier, Talasma was nowhere to be seen in the common room. This was disappointing because I was hesitant to return to the Guild hall. Another confrontation with Teekeeus was the last thing I needed after tonight’s harrowing experiences.
Outside the inn once again, I weighed my options. I looked eastward across the plaza and remembered that The Grey Mare was located on that side of town. Shrugging to myself, I headed that way. Unfortunately, I was greeted with the same disappointment that was offered at The Oak & Crosier. There was not a publican in sight.
With a sense of dread, I decided to head for the Guild hall instead of sleeping outdoors. I crept silently through the front door and went straight to the basement. I knew there was another bedroom down there and hoped it was unoccupied. Fortunately, it was not taken. I shed my armor and climbed in bed, not even bothering to make use of the nearby basin, soap, and pitcher.
* * *
I awoke wishing I could stay in bed for a few more hours, but I wanted to avoid Teekeeus. I dressed hastily and went upstairs, trying to ignore my body odor. The Chapter Steward was standing in the lobby and noticed me before I could exit.
“Associate, come here!” he demanded.
Here we go again…“I seldom make mistakes,” Teekeeus said, then made a sniffing sound and what appeared to be a sour face. It was hard to tell, but he continued, “So I loathe admitting it when I do. You seem to have earned an advocate in Athragar. He says you have no motive to steal from me. That, coupled with the fact that Earana is still hovering outside the Guild hall, has forced me to realize that I may have passed judgment too hastily. For this, I apologize.”
He doesn't seem to be very sincere, but play along...“I understand sir. I accept your apology in the spirit with which it was given. No hard feelings,” I replied, extending my hand.
He just glanced at my hand and said he needed to be looking for his book. As he walked away, he rubbed his nose and shook his head, still making the sniffing sound. That was the straw that broke the old mare’s back. I was going to clean up before I did anything else. I went up to my old room and dropped off my wares. From there it was straight to the lavatory and a hot bath. After dressing, I went to look for Athragar. He was in the library and waved as I entered.
“I wanted to thank you Athragar. Whatever you said to Teekeeus helped. He even apologized to me,” I told him.
“That old iguana actually apologized? Amazing! Well, I’m glad I could help. The last thing you need right now is a Chapter Steward accusing you of theft. So, where will you go now?”
“I am going to take your advice and go to Bravil. I’ll get my next recommendation there and look up that Henantier fellow you mentioned,” I replied.
“A sound plan indeed. How will you be traveling?” he asked.
“Well, my last experience on a coach was rather bruising, so I thought I would just walk. I do enjoy being in the wilderness, and it will give me a chance to see Cyrodiil first hand,” I told him.
“Have you considered the Guild Guide?”
“What is it?” I inquired.
“Oh my, it is a most amazing device! Every Guild hall has one. Each one is operated by a Mage that is an expert in telekinesis –“
“Tele-kuh-who?” escaped my lips before I could stop myself.
Athragar chuckled, “Telekinesis. Normally telekinesis is use to move objects without lifting them. But in this case, it has been taken one step further. Come to the basement and I will show you.”
When we got downstairs, Athragar led us through a door to the right. There was a strikingly attractive Breton woman dressed in azure velvet. Near the back wall was a circular dais that glowed with power. Small sparks of light swirled above it. The dais was fronted with steps and was adorned with the same eight-pointed star design that decorated the lobby floor.
“Good morning Josie!” Athragar said to the Breton with a smile, “I wanted to show Talendor here how the Guild Guide works. He is new to the Guild and hasn’t seen it yet.”
“Well hello there, Talendor, and welcome to the guild. I am Josie Maran, Guild Guide operator for the Chorrol Guild. I would be happy to explain how the transport operates. You step up onto the dais and tell me where you would like to travel. Then, after you pay the fee of course, I transport you there instantly. You may journey to any Guild hall, or to the Arcane University. We Mages are not as road hardy as fighters or other adventurers, so it is a much safer way to travel,” Josie explained.
I was flabbergasted.
They could move things this way?“So…let me get this straight. I get on the pad, pay you, tell you where to send me, and…poof…I am there?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied matter-of-factly.
“Is it safe? I mean…has anyone ever…ended up where they shouldn’t have? Or…um…died from it?”
“Well…not in a very long time. We have perfected it now, and you never hear stories of Mages materializing in…shall we say…unfortunate positions,” she assured me.
Unfortunate positions? Do you even want to ask?“I will show you it is safe,” Athragar said, then turned to Josie and asked, “Will you waive the fee for a demonstration?”
Josie frowned for a second, and then conceded that she would just this once. Athragar stepped up onto the dais.
“I doubt the Guide operator on the other end will be as generous as I. Do you have payment for the return trip?” she asked.
“I do. To Bravil please,” Athragar replied.
With that, Josie closed her eyes and made a flourishing gesture with her arms. There was a blinding flash of light. After blinking away purple and green after-image flashes, I saw that Athragar was gone.
“Shut the front door!” I exclaimed, and then blushed furiously at my outburst as Josie giggled.
A moment later there was another flash that brought more purple-green temporary blindness, and Athragar was standing on the dais again.
“Get OUT of here!” I blurted. Athragar looked at me quizzically and asked why I wanted him to leave again when he had just returned. I just flushed again and apologized while Josie giggled some more.
“So…what do you think? Pretty amazing, eh?” Athragar said, stating more than asking.
“I’ll say, but if it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll still walk. I want to see Cyrodiil,” I replied. Not to mention that I didn’t want to be the first person in years to wind up in an ‘unfortunate position’.
“Suit yourself, but that is quite a long walk. There will be perils to avoid if you can, or to confront if you must. Allow me to teach you a couple of spells that might be useful while you are traveling,” Athragar said.
We both thanked Josie for the demonstration and left the Guide room for the basement proper. Athragar said he would teach me two new spells. The first one he called ‘
Turn Undead’. He explained that the spell would repel undead creatures that I might encounter while exploring any ruins or caves. He cautioned me that these monsters tend to populate dark places. He also advised me that weapons with silver plating were the only type useful against the ethereal undead.
He started to teach me a second spell. It was a conjuration spell that he called ‘
Summon Skeleton'. He stopped when he saw me staring at him with my mouth agape.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“I cast this spell just last night. It hadn’t occurred to me until now. I have no idea how I could have known the spell. It just came to me when I needed it. Very effectively too, I might add,” I told him, as I remembered a shirtless assailant getting a splitting headache.
“It is indeed a good thing that you are going to see Henantier. Hopefully he and Dagail will be able to help you sort out these dreams and the inexplicable knowledge that you seem to have,” he said with genuine concern written on his face.
I nodded, and then said, “By the way, you never did fully explain the ‘
Scout’ ability to me.”
“It is also very handy in caves and ruins. When you use ‘
Scout’, there is no duration. It will remain active until you decide that you no longer need it. Basically, you recant the spell, for lack of a better word, to null the effects. That is the danger. It is easy to forget that you are using it when it has been in effect for a prolonged period. It has two aspects. As I told you before, the first is ‘
Night Eye’, which allows you to see clearly in total darkness. The effect is monochromatic, so you do not notice details of color, only light and dark. The other aspect is ‘
Detect Life’, and works exactly like the life detection spell I have already taught you,” he finished.
After teaching me how to use it, he locked the basement door and doused all but one small candle. Then he told me to give it a try. The effect was incredible. I could see perfectly, except for details of color as Athragar had explained. Everything appeared to be bathed in periwinkle light. My Bosmer tutor was awash in a shimmering glow. I chuckled with amazement.
“If you walk out of a cave into daylight with ‘
Scout’ active, you will be blinded. I can’t emphasize this enough,” he warned again, then taught me how to recant the spell and instructed me to do so.
“I will be mindful of it, and thanks for the lessons, Athragar,” I said as he relit the candles and lamps. Then he turned to me with a serious countenance.
“What caused you to cast the summoning spell last night?” he asked me.
I conveyed the events of the previous day and night. His look grew more concerned. When I finished, he spoke.
“This does not bode well. The only reference I have ever heard regarding ‘deep ones’ pertained to the Dwemer, or Dwarves. I can’t imagine why they would be trying to raise a race that has long since vanished from Tamriel. This leads me to believe that ‘deep ones’ refers to something more sinister. Talendor, would you be willing to postpone your trip to Bravil a little longer?”
“I suppose I could. Why?” I asked.
“Hackdirt is very close to Chorrol, as you know. Whatever the residents are up to could very well be a danger to our town. Honditar may not look it, but he is one of the most intelligent people in these parts. Go tell him this story that you have related to me. If he sees no danger, then by all means, proceed to Bravil. But I would sleep better tonight if I knew that I am just being paranoid right now,” Athragar explained.
“No problem Athragar. I need to apologize to Honditar anyway. I was rather rude the last time we spoke. I have some errands to run, and I really need more sleep. I wasn’t planning to leave for Bravil until tomorrow anyway.”
Posted by: mALX Mar 14 2011, 06:47 AM
ROFL !!!! My Fave lines:
QUOTE
Being kissed by an Argonian is somewhat like being kissed by a cheese grater with teeth. The scales are a tad rough.
Oh, now that was a perfect description !!
QUOTE
Teekeeus said, then made a sniffing sound and what appeared to be a sour face.
As he walked away, he rubbed his nose and shook his head, still making the sniffing sound.
This had me rolling !!!
QUOTE
We have perfected it now, and you never hear stories of Mages materializing in…shall we say…unfortunate positions,” she assured me.
ROFL - that one almost made me spew, lol !!!!
I am getting a kick out of Talendor's introductions to the realm of magic - not sure why, but I thought they were messing with Talendor about the transporter, trying to trick him, lol.
Another great chapter !!! Great Write !!!
Posted by: Destri Melarg Mar 14 2011, 10:18 AM
I just read the prologue and Chapter 1 and I really like what I've read so far. The fact that your protagonist finds himself in the body of a Bosmer (which I knew from your terrific description, even before Dreth spoke) gives a nice sort of ironic detachment to what is, in essence, a game character. I don't think I have ever read an Elder Scrolls story in which the main character was not born on Nirn. Bravo for an interesting and original take on familiar events.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 14 2011, 02:51 PM
The description of the Guild Guide had me looking for Scotty! I'm with Talendor, though. I'll walk, thankyouverymuch!
I was chuckling over Teekeeus's obvious discomfort at being wrong (well, we know he isn't, but let's not enlighten him, k?) and smelling Talendor's momentary lapse in personal hygiene.
Do Argonians kiss?
Kissing implies that one has pliable lips, and I never imagined reptiles with pliable lips. Hmm. Okay, I'm not trying to start a discussion similar to the one over on the other forum about do Argonians sweat?
Posted by: SubRosa Mar 14 2011, 05:34 PM
Being kissed by an Argonian is somewhat like being kissed by a cheese grater with teeth. The scales are a tad rough.
Eeep!
Outside {of the} inn once again,
I think Seed-Neeus swindled Talendor out of his of the, or just the
That old iguana actually apologized?
Yay for Athragar! That must have taken some doing!
I see you are incorporating Morrowind's Guild Guides into Oblivion (although they sort of have them with the Arch Mage's lobby teleporters, not to mention the wizard's tower plugin.)
Posted by: Grits Mar 15 2011, 12:47 AM
I accept your apology in the spirit with which it was given.
That sure covers a lot of ground!! Very clever.
I cast this spell just last night. It hadn’t occurred to me until now. I have no idea how I could have known the spell.
D’oh! I can’t believe I didn’t notice he wasn’t supposed to know that one!!
Posted by: Acadian Mar 15 2011, 01:57 AM
'You step up onto the dais and tell me where you would like to travel. Then, after you pay the fee of course, I transport you there instantly. You may journey to any Guild hall, or to the Arcane University. We Mages are not as road hardy as fighters or other adventurers, so it is a much safer way to travel,” Josie explained.'
This is indeed a great concept, and for exactly the reasons Josie explained! Something tells me our Bosmer is going to prefer making his path through the forests though!
Oh good, it sounds like we may get Honditar's take on Hackdirt.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 17 2011, 12:45 AM
@ mALX - That cheese grater was first sandstone, then a grinding wheel, then a sharpening stone...I couldn't find the right rough, scaly object...
Likewise, "unfortunate positions" started as a rather graphic description of ending up in a cow's posterior, but I wasn't sure that would fly in the forum.
@ Destri - Welcome aboard and thank you for joining in!
My apologies for the epic length of the first few posts...
@ Dr. Rider - Talendor does seem to have a touch of Dr. McCoy in him...unsure of transporters.
You know, the whole lip thing never even occurred to me. I guess Argonian mates just rub noses?
@ SubRosa - LOL @ Eeep! Nit picked and thank you.
The Guild Guides come from a mod. It is on the Nexus http://www.tesnexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=4520. I have always disliked the fast travel in Oblivion. The Morrowind style of fast travel seemed much more immersive...well, a more realistic means anyway.
@ Grits - This is one of the drawbacks to pre-writing. Talendor had learned that in the next post. I had to rewrite a bit of the next one to cover my butt!
@ Acadian - Josie's reasoning of the Guild Guides is a mirror of why I thought they were included in TES-3. It made perfect sense.
Um...You may find Honditar's take on Hackdirt a little underwhelming...
@ Chef K - Cthu-what?
I'm glad you like my twist to "Fingers on the Mountain".
I'm actually curious to see where the Hackdirt thing goes too...
@ Everyone - As always, heeps of thanks for the comments and support.
--------------------
Chapter 20 – Have a Seat, Madam
The first order of business was to hit some shops. Who knows how long I might be wrapped up with Honditar? I was pleased to see that Earana was not loitering outside the Guild hall at the moment. I practically sprinted to Fire & Steel so that I would not run into her. I looked over Rasheda’s wares and picked out a nice steel shortsword and restocked my quiver to its usual complement of thirty arrows. When we finished our business, I poked my head out the door to check for Earana again. She was nowhere to be seen. I ran quickly to Northern Goods & Trade. Here I purchased some provisions and took Seed-Neeus up on her offer of some training in the fine art of monetary transactions. When we finished, she offered some tea. I had to decline, explaining that I didn’t want to be rude, but that I had a busy day. I opened the door and glanced around the area as I said goodbye to the Argonian. The coast was clear. That changed as soon as I rounded the corner of The Oak & Crosier and collided in full stride with Earana. The Altmer was considerably taller than I, so my nose split her cleavage perfectly and the impact to my face was well cushioned. But the end result was that both of us sat down hard on the sidewalk pavers.
“Ouch!” we both exclaimed simultaneously. Then she realized who had knocked her down and her eyes grew wide.
“Oh my, you have returned with my book!” Earana said with noticeable excitement.
ugh…“Um…about that –“
“What in the name of Auriel is that
smell?” she said with a pinched face.
I didn’t think it could be me. I had just bathed earlier, but I caught myself reflexively sniffing my armpits.
“Oh God’s blood!” she yelled as she jumped to her feet, “That damnable Rena Bruiant and her mangy mutts!”
She was staring at the stone pavers and I looked at the part of the sidewalk that she was studying. There was a brownish smear that didn’t belong with the stone and mortar. I could smell what she had inquired about now that she had gotten up off of it. I could also notice a corresponding sienna shape on her skirt. I had to bite hard on my lip to keep from bursting out in raucous laughter. Earana seemed to suddenly realize that the dog poo wasn’t in its natural shape. She started trying to look at her butt, walking in tight little circles.
She looks like one of Rena’s dogs chasing its tail…That thought caused a loss of control on my part. My fatigued state had made me punchy, and I began laughing hysterically. She whirled and looked at me with daggers in her eyes. I just laughed harder, with tears beginning to wet my eyes. A guard had walked up and noticed the brown smudge on Earana’s skirt. It looked as if she had fouled herself, and he began laughing as well. He even pointed at it and called to another nearby guard. Tears were now streaming down my cheeks and my stomach was beginning to cramp. Rage colored Earana’s cheeks and she stomped off toward The Grey Mare. The guard and I doubled over when his buddy caught the view of Earana storming away with smeared canine crap on her butt. Now the three of us were in stitches. I finally got up and dusted myself off, still chuckling. The three of us bid each other a good day and went our separate ways.
I started walking toward the Guild hall, and then stopped in my tracks.
I’m forgetting something…oh yeah…Honditar!I really was tired. I had walked the wrong way when I left the store. If I had gone to Honditar’s, I never would have run into Earana. This made me laugh out loud again. I was still chuckling when Honditar answered his door and let me in.
“Well you seem to be in a better mood,” Honditar observed with an arched eyebrow.
“You don’t know the half of it, Honditar,” I said.
Then I related the recent events pertaining to Earana’s poop-cushioned landing on the sidewalk. By the time I finished, we were both laughing heartily.
“The only way you could have done that better would be if you had said, ‘Have a seat, madam,’ and she just sat right in it,” he said and we both burst out laughing again, and then he said, “But I am sure you didn’t come by just to tell me that story.”
“No, you are right,” I said, wiping tears from my face.
Honditar grabbed a couple of ales and sat back down at the table. I told him the story of what had happened the night before in Hackdirt, and that Athragar had sent me to him to ask about ‘the deep ones’. He sat in silence for a minute, soaking up what I had said while he soaked his gullet with some ale.
“The way I see it, there are two explanations. The first is that they really are trying to raise the Dwemeri. There has been only one Dwemer seen in recent time, but that was on Vvardenfell. However, the fact that one has been seen recently means that there may indeed be others. I cannot fathom why they would want to raise the Dwarves. Perhaps they want access to Dwemer technology in order to exact vengeance on those that burned their village,” Honditar explained.
“Technology?” I asked.
“Yes. The Dwemeri were dependent on machinery to light and heat their underground dwellings. They were very deft at building steam powered mechanisms to accomplish this. With that same technology, they were also able to create steam powered soldiers to defend their subterranean keeps. They were called Centurions. This knowledge could be used by the citizens of Hackdirt to build an army of automatons.”
“What is the second possibility?”
“That they are not trying to raise the Dwarves,” he stated matter-of-factly. My jaw dropped.
Well duh…Even I could figure that much out…I was expecting to hear some more fascinating lore about something other than the Dwemeri.
“Then what would it be, if not the Dwemeri?” I asked.
“I have no idea. The fact that you were attacked and that Dar-Ma was going to be sacrificed does point to one thing though. Whatever they want to raise cannot be good for those outside Hackdirt. This needs to be investigated further. How soon can you go?”
I just stared at him, mouth agape once again.
“Do you swallow many flies with your mouth popping open like that all the time?” Honditar asked sardonically.
I closed my mouth with a snap and then said, “I’m tired of being everyone’s errand boy. You go if it’s that important. I have to get to Bravil.”
“I told you, Talendor, I am no good with confined spaces. Besides, don’t you feel you owe a little debt to Chorrol? You were like a lost puppy when you arrived. And now look at you. You have a full coin purse and you’re a member of the Mages Guild. Do you think you could have achieved this without the help of the local population?”
I hate it when he is right…“Okay, okay. I’ll do it. I’ll see if I can find out what they are up to. But this is it! I have got to get to Bravil so I can get my brains unscrambled,” I told him.
“Certainly,” was all he said in that smug tone that grates my last nerve.
“I have to get some rest first. Besides, I have to time my arrival for midnight so that I can get down to the caverns unnoticed. I can’t believe I’m going back to that place after barely getting out alive,” I said with a sigh.
Honditar looked at me for a moment, and then rose and went over to his chest. After pulling something from it, he returned and handed me a scroll.
“With your inexplicable knowledge, you will be able to read this. Do not do so until the need is dire. When you do, you will be rendered invisible for a short time. Use this to escape if you must. While we do need to know what is going on in Hackdirt, we prefer you alive even more, my friend,” he said with great sincerity.
I rose, finishing my ale and said, “I will aim true,” then I shook the scroll at him and finished, “and I won’t be seen.” With that I left Honditar and headed to the Guild hall for some sleep.
To think I went to apologize to the Altmer... Now I am going back to that shirtless freak show…
Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 17 2011, 01:20 AM
The encounter with Earana had me laughing, from the nasal collision with her cleavage to the cushioning of her fall and the strategic placement of - ermm - a certain stain had me laughing! My mouth was empty at the time, so I can't say - what a certain forummer is known to say - SPEW!
I did catch a nit that slipped past the spell check (simply because it wasn't misspelled, just inappropriate for the context).
QUOTE
I looked over Rasheda’s wares and picked out a nice steel shortsword and restocked my quiver to its usual compliment of thirty arrows.
Compliment is what you say to a lovely lady when you want to get inside her skirt. "Ma'am, your eyes are like limpid pools of -" What you want is
complement - a quota, a total number of an object, as in "The usual complement of the Usual Suspects."
QUOTE
The Dwemeri were dependant on machinery to light and heat their underground dwellings.
Dependant isn't a proper word, though it sounds like it. Actually you want
dependent.
Overall an enjoyable interlude with what has become Talendor's trademark understated sarcasm. Loved it!
Posted by: SubRosa Mar 17 2011, 01:21 AM
In case you are uninitiated into the esoteric manuscripts of H.P. Lovecraft et al., Cthuluoid is a slang term referring to any critter associated with the beloved Mythos of HPL's creation (and many others since). Hackdirt is based upon a story of Lovecraft's called The Shadow Over Innsmouth, which also features Deep Ones (only the originals are aquatic).
so my nose split her cleavage perfectly and the impact to my face was well cushioned.
Hah! Uh uhoes, time for Talendor to face the music!
“What in the name of Auriel is that smell?”
Nice use of the elven form of the god's name here.
Poor Earana, everyone picks on her! At least you did not kill her though, as every other writer seems to...
How soon can you go?”
How soon can you go Honidatar?
nits:
While we do need to know what is going on in Hackdirt, we prefer you alive even more, my friend,” he said with great sincerity.
I am not sure if this is a nit or not. But Honditar's use of the word "we" rather than "I" implies that he is either so stuck up he is talking like a king (and he's an Altmer, so yeah), or that he is speaking for a group of people. Perhaps Chorrol in general? The latter is not really clear though.
Posted by: mALX Mar 17 2011, 01:38 AM
GAAAAH!!! He's going back to take on those guys - they can see you even when you are in chameleon - they circle around you saying, "Where, where..."
Loved Earana's incident, ROFL !!!! Now that's what I call paybacks !!! Great Chapter !!!
Posted by: Acadian Mar 17 2011, 02:05 AM
This was a continuous chuckle to read! Yes, an Altmeri cleavage can be a daunting thing from the perspective of a http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv43/Acadian6/Cho%20Bk%201/ScreenShot609.jpg .
Oh, poo! Don't you hate it when that happens?
I loved Talendor's reaction to Honditar of basically 'You do it!!!' Unfortunately, that darn clever high elf is pretty smooth and convincing.
Posted by: Thomas Kaira Mar 17 2011, 02:08 AM
What a very fitting putting-in-her-place Earana has received. That'll teach her not to blunder around our Bosmer!
QUOTE
“I’m tired of being everyone’s errand boy. You go if it’s that important. I have to get to Bravil.”
Welcome to the world of The Elder Scrolls, Talendor. Your are the Player Character, and that makes you everyone's errand boy by default. Better learn to live with it, this isn't going to end soon.
Nit:
QUOTE
But the end result was that both of us { } down hard on the sidewalk pavers.
I think there's a word missing where I have indicated here.
Posted by: Grits Mar 17 2011, 05:14 PM
Oh my goodness. Talendor had me smiling from the look-both-ways and scurry into Fire & Steel all the way to bouncing off of Altmer cleavage, then I had to laugh. Thanks to that pile of poo, he can postpone the Earana conversation. Which leads to more scurrying…
I am interested to hear what Honditar makes of the shirtless freak show. He’s certainly smart enough not to go there himself!!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 20 2011, 11:53 PM
@ Dr. Rider - ...the nasal collision with her cleavage...
Thank goodness for empty mouths. No SPEW to clean up.
Thanks for catching the nits, they have been picked.
@ SubRosa - Earana has indeed been given a rough time by several authors. I was satisfied with dog poop between her butt cheeks instead of an arrow between her facial cheeks.
RE: the nit - Honditar was speaking as part of a group, the citizens of Chorrol. I would be grateful for an alternative phrasing that might make it clearer.
@ mALX - Yep...back to dance with the shirtless. He might look forward to it more if the dancers were female.
@ Acadian - You posted a perfect illustration of the potential for mammary/facial collisions between Bosmer and Altmer. 
@ Chef Thomas - When Talendor reaches Bravil, I am certain he will begin to realize that "errand boy" could be an understatement.
Thanks for catching the nit - it be picked.
@ Grits - I am so glad that you and the others got a kick out of "The Crappy Collision".
(Sounds like a title for a miscellaneous quest.)
@ Everyone - Talendor and I thank you all once again for your interest and support.
As I am sure you all know, the conclusion of the quest "A Shadow Over Hackdirt" is simply rescuing Dar-Ma. There is no 'secret' to be discovered. Originally, I had thought this would prove to be a fertile area for non-game story telling. But when I tried, my mind turned to mush. So I hope that this installment won't be too underwhelming. On to the post...
--------------------
Chapter 21 – One Last Errand
I opened my eyes to the ceiling of my room in the Guild hall. The sleep did me worlds of good. I felt completely refreshed and rested. A growl from my stomach announced the need for a meal. I rose and donned my armored coverings, attaching my bladed weapons to the harness belt. I shouldered my quiver and bow, and then stored the rest of my wares in the chest near the window. Thus prepared for the trip to Hackdirt, I grabbed my satchel and headed downstairs.
No matter what, I am soooo out of here when this is done…It wasn’t that I didn’t like Chorrol. Any town that had such a grand tree for its insignia was okay in my book. I had deeper concerns though. I was considering them as I walked to the table in the dining area.
You are getting acclimated to your surroundings…Don’t stray from your true path…The food on the table was making my mouth water. A good meal was going to hit the spot. No one else was around, and that gave me even more time to ponder the facts, or the lack of them, that nagged me.
Why are you here? Who are you? How do you know the things that you do?So much had happened in such a relatively short time. It occurred to me that I had indeed strayed from my path. I needed the answers to these questions and I still wasn’t sure who could provide them!
The person in Bravil that Athragar had suggested…Henantier…he just had to be able to help me.
But what if he couldn’t? Are things so bad?
Don’t lose perspective, knot-head!
Whoever cooked this mutton deserves a medal!One thing was for sure, I hadn’t lacked for good eating since joining the guild. Nothing can ease the mind like a good meal. Washing down the last bites of potato with some wine, I got up and set out for Hackdirt.
* * *
I could see the buildings now, lying in the shadow that had fallen over Hackdirt. It was just as I knew it would be, completely quiet and not a soul to be seen. None of the windows were lit; only the stillness and the shadows greeted my arrival. I crept stealthily toward the inn. The entry I had previously used seemed the most logical destination. Hopefully they hadn’t changed the lock. Since it was so dark, I seized my ability to scout. With an outstretched arm and clenched fist, I called on the spell. Opening my hand bathed me in ethereal violet light. Almost instantly, everything became vividly monochromatic. I gazed at the walls of the inn, searching for signs of life. All was clear, and I slowly opened the door to the common room.
At the trapdoor, I gave my key a try in the lock and was rewarded when it disengaged. Taking a deep breath, I lifted the hatch and peered down into the caverns. There were still no glimmers of life. It seemed that the shirtless brutes knew some basic carpentry. The ladder displayed new rungs where it had been bludgeoned. I climbed down and surveyed the surroundings. It was only a moment before a glowing man-shape appeared in the stone walls. I crouched and nocked an arrow. These maniacs had already attacked me once without provocation, so I had no problem at all with returning the favor.
Was it really without provocation? You stole their sacrifice…Remembering what they had planned for Dar-Ma whetted my anger. The glowing orb took on a more recognizable shape. A shirtless man with a club at his waist strolled into the chamber. I did not hesitate, and an arrow was through his sternum in a matter of seconds. I marveled at how coldly efficient the shot was. With no other glowing tell-tales about, I examined the body. He was an Imperial, or perhaps a Breton. Either way, he was very dead and wouldn’t need his jeweled ring anymore. With the ‘
Night Eye’ effect, I couldn’t tell what the metal and gem were. The ring ended up in my satchel just the same. Realizing that he also wouldn’t need the arrow that was protruding from his chest, I relieved him of that as well.
I chose to continue along the passage that the dead thug had entered from. It wasn’t long before a fair sized group of life signs appeared in front of me. As silently as I could, I approached the next chamber. When I reached the end of the tunnel, I dropped to my stomach and crawled into the cavern. Six or seven people were surrounding a fire pit. The brightness of the fire made it difficult to determine exactly how many there might be. I considered recanting my ‘
Scout’ ability, but I wasn’t sure if the purple glow would be seen. Better to play it safe.
There was one man holding a book. He was also chanting in some unintelligible string of sounds. At points during his discourse, the others would chant in low tones along with him. There was a vague familiarity about the book he was holding. I needed a closer look. For what seemed like hours, I slithered forward on my belly. As soon as I reached a small outcropping of rock, I raised my head. I had to squint against the impossible brightness of the fire. I could see everything clearly now. The man was still chanting, and I recognized the book as the one I had seen on the altar in Hackdirt Chapel.
You might get out of this alive yet, knot-head.I retraced my steps back to the hatch below the inn.
All you have to do is steal the book from the chapel after they put it back. It has to be the key to what they are up to.I left Hackdirt while it was still dark and headed north toward an old fortress that I had noticed during the trip in. By the time I reached it, dawn’s false twilight had started lighting the sky. There were no life signs visible, so I recanted my ‘
Scout’ ability. I found a defensible location to spread my bedroll and sat down for a snack. I would spend the day here, waiting for true twilight to return to Hackdirt. Then I would procure the book from the chapel and be on my way.
Just get through this and you can be on your way to Bravil…I lay back and watched the clouds saunter past the openings in the trees above. The woodland noises might as well have been a lullaby. Sleep took me almost instantly.
* * *
I jolted awake in a panic, feeling as if I had overslept. I was relieved as soon as it was apparent that dusk was approaching. Gathering my bedroll, I set my bearings straight and left my temporary camp. I was very careful to remain unnoticed by anything living. As a result, I crept right up on a huge stag that was magnificent to behold. My heart begged me to nock an arrow. Instead, I shook a bush to startle him out of my view and eliminate the distraction.
I could see the chapel up ahead. It was so close, and yet so out of reach. I had no illusions that anyone from Hackdirt would be happy to see me, and I didn’t intend to find out the hard way. The skulking seemed to go on forever, but I finally reached the chapel walls. A quick cast of the life detection spell revealed that there were no potential enemies about. I pulled the scroll that Honditar had given to me from my satchel. Unfurling it, I uttered the words in a whisper and light traveled from the parchment to my hands, then up my arms and through my body. It took all of my control not to chuckle at the fact that I couldn’t see my arms anymore. I sprinted in a half duck-walk to the chapel door. Entering silently, I made my way down the center aisle. The book was waiting for me on the altar. With a grin, I helped it into my satchel and hurried back to the door. Once I was outside, I didn’t slow down at all. As a matter of fact, I bolted outright for the cover of the woods. Just as I entered the cover of the undergrowth, I realized that I could see my arms again. I dropped to my knees and cast the detection spell for good measure. No pursuit at all! Laughing to myself, I turned and made my way back to Chorrol.
YES! I did it! Bravil, here I come!* * *
The sun had set yet again by the time I reached Honditar’s house. A day ago, I didn’t know if I would be alive to see this moment. Now I was about to give Honditar the secret of Hackdirt and be on my way. I was absolutely ecstatic when I knocked on Honditar’s door. His eyes opened to their limits when he saw me, as if he couldn’t believe it.
“Come in, come in,” he beckoned, “I’ll bet you could use a drink. Sit, please.”
I sat where I always did, on the bench that flanked the table. Honditar wasted no time getting a bottle of wine and a couple of goblets. Soon he was seated next to me, pouring some Tamika’s West Weald and ready to hear all about Hackdirt.
“I had to kill one of those shirtless madmen, but I didn’t dare try to attack the group. At any rate, I think I have what you need,” I told him as I reached in my satchel and pulled out the book from the chapel.
“They were all chanting while someone read passages from this. I couldn’t understand a word,” I continued while handing the book to him.
His eyes opened wide as he thumbed through the pages. He snapped the book shut and looked straight at me.
“Well done, my friend,” he said as he stood and walked toward his chest. This book joined ‘
Fingers of the Mountain’ and then Honditar returned to the bench and sat back down.
“Well? What was it?” I asked, and then I cut off his reply, “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
“I was going to tell you that you needn’t concern yourself with this anyway,” he replied in his usual cool manner. “The book will need to be studied by wiser eyes than mine, and I will see to that.”
Get out of here now, while you can…“So, I have your
leave then?” I said with biting sarcasm.
Honditar cast a look at me that I truly deserved. The Altmer had helped me more often than not, and I had no true reason to speak to him that way.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “I am just so frayed. I really need to find out what and who I am supposed to be. I am still walking around with a name that I made up! I have realized that there is a side of me that is a cold and calculating killer. It scares me. I need answers Honditar! I can’t stay in Chorrol and hope to find them!” My voice was raised by the time I finished my diatribe.
“Talendor, don’t ever lose that passion. You have had it ever since I met you. But yet, you have delayed searching for your answers to help the people of this town. That is the ultimate statement of character. Regardless of what you may go through, my friend, do not ever lose that quality. Now get yourself to Bravil. Try to avoid fouling Earana’s clothing this time,” he finished with a grin.
Then Honditar did something I hadn’t ever expected. As we stood, he gave me an embrace and wished me the best of fortune.
--------------------
EDIT - Nits picked.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 21 2011, 12:34 AM
You know, it never occurred to me to steal the book! That's actually good reasoning - if they're planning something, they need the book to finish it. Depriving them of the book puts a good sized monkey wrench into their future. Whether or not they have the brains to figure out an alternative solution remains to be seen, but at least they won't be an immediate threat to anyone.
I liked that he scared the stag out of his sight. I do the same. I just can't bring myself to shoot the stupid creatures.
Posted by: Acadian Mar 21 2011, 01:46 AM
This was a delightfully 'Talendor' adaptive add on to the quest. Well done. It was fun, well and thoughtfully carried out and made perfect sense.
You have given us a wonderfully interesting Honditar!
So, finally it seems as though Talendor just might make it southward now!
Posted by: SubRosa Mar 21 2011, 02:16 AM
Any town that had such a grand tree for its insignia was okay in my book
Spoken like a true wood elf!
lying in the shadow that had fallen over Hackdirt.
Not only a clever turn of phrase in its own right, but also a wonderful ode to the name of the quest associated with Hackdirt!
Talendor shows his hard-earned experience at sneaking, not to mention a rather level head in choosing the path of stealth over just barging in and trying to kill everyone at the ceremony.
Now finally off to Bravil, the jewel of the Niben. I wonder if Talendor will find it to be a city of rustic charms as Buffy and Teresa have, or a festering cesspit as Derelas!
nits:
The ladder was displaying new rungs where it had been bludgeoned.
You have a mix of present and past tenses in this sentence. You might try:
The ladder displayed new rungs where it had been bludgeoned.
I was very careful at remaining noticed by anything living.
I think you meant unnoticed? You might also consider your tenses again, and say something like:
I was very careful to remain unnoticed by anything living.
Posted by: mALX Mar 22 2011, 07:59 PM
QUOTE
Remembering what they had planned for Dar-Ma whetted my anger. The glowing orb took on a more recognizable shape. A shirtless man with a club at his waist strolled into the chamber. I did not hesitate, and an arrow was through his sternum in a matter of seconds. I marveled at how coldly efficient the shot was.
Great paragraph !!
QUOTE
His eyes opened to their limits when he saw me, as if he couldn’t believe it.
Why was that? Something didn't feel right about his surprise to see his friend return, had he sent Talendor back deliberately thinking he would be killed there? ** mALX's earlier suspicions about Honditar's motives rise to the surface once again **
Wonder what Honditar plans to do with all those books ??? - Great Write !!!
Posted by: Olen Mar 22 2011, 09:42 PM
I've caught up again. As ever Telandor is a great character and fun to read. I like the Hackdirt quest and you did it well, it was nice to see a little more follow-up, makes me wonder if therre might be even mmore in the future. You've certainly left that option open.
QUOTE
Don’t lose perspective, knot-head!
Whoever cooked this mutton deserves a medal!
I loved these lines, so Telandor. The humor makes this piece what it is.
I liked your description of the 'Scout' ability too - it goes further than the simple in game system which adds realism and life.
Nit:
shadow that had fallen over Hackdirt. It was just as I knew it would be, completely quiet and not a soul to be seen. None of the windows were lit; only the stillness and the shadows greeted - the repetition of shadow jarred me, though the first one was great as SubRosa mentioned.
Posted by: TheOtherRick Mar 24 2011, 06:23 AM
Author's Note - I have a mixed tidings notification to make. Work has picked up (good for bills, bad for fan-fic time) and I won't be able to be on the site as often as I have been. I will still faithfully read and write as often as possible, but it will be at a slower pace.
@ Dr. Rider - I wanted to do so much more with the possibilities, but my mind was defeating itself with ideas. I was worried that readers would think that I took the easy way out, because I kind of did. I am so glad that you found it plausible.
@ Acadian - Yes indeed, Talendor is headed south! Unfortunately, since I am so far behind in Buffy's story, he will miss the archery tournament.
@ SubRosa - Thank you again for being an invaluable editor. Dem nits be picked.
Stealth seemed the better way to Talendor, lest we give D. Foxy any club waving fodder...
@ mALX - Still seeing imps in Honditar's eyes? Everyone else seems to trust him...but it is good that you wonder what he will do with the books.
@ Olen - The little bugger can't keep his mind on important stuff when food is in front of him.
As to the nit, I actually thought of that when I was editing. I decided to leave it because I was calling back to the earlier sentence deliberately.
@ Everyone - Equal thanks to you all for your comments. You all rock!
--------------------
Chapter 22 – Bravil at Last
My heart was racing with excitement as I inventoried my belongings. I was finally going to Bravil! My mind was keeping pace with my pulse. I felt a sense of personal purpose again. I was on an errand for myself now.
That’s it…stay focused…get answers…you’ve done your bit for Chorrol…do some for Talendor now…or whatever your name is…I would have to make one stop before leaving Chorrol. I had neglected to trade in the old iron shield that I had been toting around ever since I left the sewers. That seemed like ages ago, but truth be told, it had only been a few weeks. Going to see Rasheda again chafed at my urgency, but I was tired of lugging that heavy disc around. All it did was collect dust in my room like some unused paperweight. My switch to a shortsword required a shield for defense, but this thing was too cumbersome. So visiting the smith was necessary.
Since I had to wait for Fire & Steel to open, I decided to use the time for making some poisons. A few minutes later, I was in Angalmo’s corner of the Guild hall. The Altmer was there, reading a list and checking the contents of his shelves.
“Good morning Angalmo,” I greeted him.
“Well, if it isn’t our newest Associate. Is there something I can help you with woodlander?” he replied, glancing from up his list.
“As a matter of fact, there is. I have some time to kill, and I wondered if you might have the ingredients I need to make a few vials of poison?”
“It is likely I do. Will you need the apparatus that you borrowed the other day as well?” he inquired.
“That would be helpful. Here, let me show you what I have,” I said as I pulled the mushrooms from my bag.
“Wisp stalk…ok…I have nightshade, St. John’s Wort, some lotus seeds, and of course, stinkhorn,” he told me. It looked like he was checking the items off on his list as he recited them.
“All of those will work with wisp stalk caps?” I asked.
Angalmo cocked an eyebrow and said, “Do you doubt me?”
“No! Not at all. It’s just that until now, I hadn’t known of lotus seeds and the saint’s warts. By the way, how do you get the warts from Saint John?”
He sighed and said, “
Wort, not warts. It’s a plant. St. John’s Wort nectar comes from a yellow flower that is plentiful in these parts.”
“Oh. Well then, I will take enough to use up my wisp stalk then,” I said.
* * *
After returning Angalmo’s equipment, I walked out of the Mages Guild with four new vials of poison. I hadn’t realized that the weather had taken a turn for the worse. A steady rain and some distant lightning dampened my spirits. I did not want to walk to Bravil in the rain. Fire & Steel was open now, and just far enough to have water cascading off of my armor by the time I entered. Rasheda asked me to shake the excess off before I fully entered her shop. She chuckled a bit as I did my best wet dog impression to shed the water.
“I would like to trade this iron wagon wheel of a shield for something a little more suitably sized, please,” I said, letting it rest on its edge with a clank against the stone floor.
“Well, all I have in stock right now is that hardened fur shield,” she replied, pointing to a pitiful looking piece of stretched hide on a shelf.
That thing is gonna break if you look at it too hard…I sighed and thanked her anyway as I refused the transaction. I walked out of the shop and looked at the water pouring out of the clouds.
Well, you’re one for three this morning…got poisons, but it’s pissing rain and you still have to tote this load of a shield...Hoping to kill a bit more time and allow the rain to let up, I jogged over to Northern Goods. After all, I did have this ring that was formerly owned by a shirtless freak. Seed-Neeus greeted me with a fond salutation as I walked up the stairs of her shop. Dar-Ma came running into the room and gave me one of her bone-cracking hugs, calling me ‘her hero’ again. I blushed as I tensed up enough to prevent broken ribs. The young lizard could hug like a bear!
“What can I do for you Talendor,” Seed-Neeus asked after Dar-Ma released me.
“I have a ring to sell,” I said. I pulled it from my bag and handed it to her. After holding it up to a candle, she said that it was worth eleven Septims. We closed the deal and I placed the coins in my purse, The Argonian peddler’s eyes went wide.
“You aren’t planning on traveling around with that much money, are you?” she asked.
“Actually, yes, I was,” I replied.
“Might I offer you a suggestion, Talendor? We have a bank, here in Cyrodiil. I actually operate the branch office for Chorrol. You would do well to make a deposit and not carry such a thief’s bounty around with you,” she advised.
“Okay. It’s a bit heavy anyway. I’ll be glad to open an account with you,” I replied.
“I’m afraid that I can’t open accounts here. I can only process transactions for existing accounts. You will have to go to the main office in Imperial City to open one,” she informed me.
“Well, I shall do that the very next time I am there. Thanks for the advice,” I said with a smile, and then bid them farewell.
It was still pouring when I stepped outdoors. Lightning flashed brightly, followed quickly by booming thunder that echoed off the buildings.
There is no way you are leaving for Bravil in this mess…Disappointed, I trotted through sheets of rain back to the Guild hall. I saw the basement door as soon as I entered and stopped in my tracks. I stood there dripping for a moment, contemplating what was beyond it. An unmistakable voice in a tone like grating gravel startled me back to the moment.
“Associate, close that pneumonia hole!” Teekeeus barked.
“Oh, sorry,” I replied as I closed the door. I looked again at the cellar portal.
You know what’s down there. You can get to Bravil dry as a bone…if you have the stones for it…I walked down into the basement and found Josie in the Guild Guide room.
“It seems that I am more popular when it’s raining,” the Breton woman said with a sardonic smile.
“So…this thing really is…safe?” I asked with uncertainty, pointing to the dais.
“Yes, yes, yes. I told you…we never have…accidents, any more,” she replied.
“Okay,” I sighed nervously, “How much is it to go to Bravil?”
“Twelve Septims will cover it.”
I paid the fee and stepped up onto the dais.
“Don’t make me crawl out of a cow,” I implored, only half joking.
Josie chuckled and said, “At least that is survivable. The last accident involved a mage materializing several hundred feet in mid –“
There was a blinding flash and a sound I can only describe as what you hear when you open a bottle of ale, only much louder. When the after images faded from my sight, I was standing in a completely different room. A Bosmer looked up from his desk, and then rose to greet me.
“Welcome to Bravil. My name is Furgoth, and before you even ask me…no…I don’t know
anybody named Fargoth,” he said to me without a smile.
“Well that makes two of us. I’ve never heard of him either,” I replied, wondering who Fargoth might be.
“Thank Jephre! That saves me all of the responses to, ‘Are you sure?’ or, ‘You look like you could be his brother,’ and all that rot,” he grumbled.
“Could you tell me where I might find the Chapter Steward?” I asked.
“Kud-Ei is upstairs somewhere. Through there,” Furgoth said, pointing to a door directly in front of me.
I walked over to the door and almost broke my face on it when it failed to open.
Furgoth scowled at me and said, “If you cannot open that door, you are not supposed to be here.”
I stared at him stupidly, and then it hit me. I reached into my pocket for the Mages Guild key. A second later I was on the other side and closing the door. Furgoth was the first rude Bosmer I had met that wasn’t trying to kill me. Shrugging, I looked around at the basement. The masonry work was not nearly as clean as what I had seen in Chorrol. The joints were ragged and the stones looked like the masons had used whatever they could find. There was a damp, musty odor and the walls held the sheen of moisture. I saw stairs leading upward to my left. I walked up and entered the lobby of the Bravil Mages Guild.
The very first thing I saw may be what I remember the most. There was an amazingly beautiful Breton woman in a blue velvet dress. Breton ladies as a rule seemed to be attractive. Perhaps it was because they weren’t soooo…tall. But this one stole my breath. I was staring at her and realized she was talking to me.
“…elp you?” entered my hearing.
My mouth snapped shut and I blinked.
Say something knot-head!“Chapter steward,” I blurted, “Um…the…I’m looking for the Chapter Steward.”
“Okay,” she giggled, “She’s over there,” she said and pointed.
My gaze followed her arm slowly to the finger tip and saw an Argonian sitting on a bench. I turned just as slowly back to her and beheld that face again.
Wow!“Thank you,” rolled out of my mouth in what seemed like slow motion.
I stood there a moment longer and she giggled again before saying, “She’ll probably speak to you now,” and turned to walk away.
“What is your name?” I asked.
“Delphine,” she said over her shoulder as she left.
Wow!I walked over to the Argonian on the bench.
I hope she isn’t a hugger…As I stepped up, the Argonian looked up from reading. She was wearing almost the exact same outfit that Earana wore.
“Good Morning,” I said, “My name is Talendor. I am a new Associate in the Guild. I was hoping to get a letter of recommendation from you.”
“Welcome to the Bravil Guild, Talendor. I am Kud-Ei. When new Associates come through here, there are certain tasks they are required to perform. However, you arrive at an opportune time. I have a problem that is of a more personal nature than what the Guild would have me ask of you. I must warn you beforehand. It is likely to be more dangerous than what the Guild requires. I have offered a reward to have someone else do this, but I have had no takers yet. Your reward would be my recommendation letter. So, I don’t suppose you could help find my friend Henantier, could you?”
--------------------
EDIT: Nits picked.
Posted by: mALX Mar 24 2011, 03:57 PM
Talendor's inner dialogue had me roaring !!! He is hilarious!! A great chapter - I was shocked the transport worked, ROFL !!! Oh, I can't wait to see what Talendor does in Bravil, there are so many interesting things he can do in that place, lol. Great Write !!!
Posted by: haute ecole rider Mar 24 2011, 03:59 PM
RL is RL, and this is Chorrol.com. We're used to having RL take over around here. So post when you can, as long as it's good stuff!
I enjoyed Talendor's solution to traveling in the rain. And I can assure you, the back end of a cow is quite survivable. The cow herself can survive having you up her back end (though she won't enjoy it). I speak from considerable experience here. Now horses . . .
*pow!*
Anyway, so it's off to Henantier, huh? Thanks to the game glitch it's always confusing as to which is the real recommendation quest when you hit Bravil. Is it visiting someone else's dreamland, or listening to bad poetry? I see in your case it appears that a visit to a certain Altmer is in order.
Posted by: Grits Mar 24 2011, 04:46 PM
From Chapter 21:
“So, I have your leave then?” I said with biting sarcasm.
Honditar cast a look at me that I truly deserved. The Altmer had helped me more often than not, and I had no true reason to speak to him that way.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “I am just so frayed.
This is so Talendor, and a perfect example of why I find him so endearing. And now I get it, Honditar is a rare book dealer!
You have left yourself plenty of room to return to Hackdirt, if you’d like. Or, Honditar is tight-lipped enough to never mention it again.
From Chapter 22:
I had to chuckle at making potions while waiting for Rasheda to open her shop. It seems like I always have to wait for her in the game. Cyrodiil banking is a great addition.
I walked over to the door and almost broke my face on it when it failed to open.
Another perfect Talendor moment. I have a door that sometimes fails to unlatch when the knob is turned. I can’t count the times I have almost broken my face on it! Henceforth I will think of it as the Talen-door.
The encounter with Delphine was priceless. Thankfully Kud-Ei didn’t hug him and further wreck his composure!!
Posted by: SubRosa Mar 24 2011, 05:33 PM
As others have said, the humor you interject into Talendor's view of the world is delightful! Shaking like a wet dog indeed!
no…I don’t know anybody named Fargoth
Excellent poke at Morrowind!
I see Talendor was just as taken in by Delphine's elegance as Teresa was! I do not blame him. She certainly knows how to dress!
nits:
St. Jahn’s Wort
This was a typo by Bethesda, it is really http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_John%27s_wort
Posted by: ghastley Mar 24 2011, 09:58 PM
UOP fixes the spelling of the flower, so I haven't seen it that way for a long time.
I was a bit confused as to why Talendor carried the iron shield away from Fire and Steel, instead of just selling it. If he's not going to use it, even a poor price is still some gold and less burden. I saw the My switch to a shortsword required a shield for defense, but this thing was too cumbersome note, but I got the impression that he'd decided the latter part overwhelmed the former. May need a bit more of his thought process added to explain why he decided to keep it anyway.
If Delphine makes her enemies explode, what excesses does she inflict on her friends? Will Talendor find out? Will he survive?
Posted by: Olen Mar 25 2011, 12:49 AM
Good part, I like the little changes you're making to the game, they make it make more sense. And the Furgoth/Fargoth jab was brilliant. As is the inclusion of guild-guides - if they had them in Morrowind why not in Cyrodiil?
Having the recommendantion to do with Henantier is also a good move. The actual recommendation is a dull dull quest, while the nightmare is brilliant. And again why wouldn't Kud-ei ask someone for help. I'm certainly looking forward to Telandor doing that quest, should be hilarious. Once you have time of course (RL and bills are irritating beasts).
Posted by: Acadian Mar 25 2011, 01:47 AM
'The young lizard could hug like a bear!'
Oh, that's our beautiful Dar-Ma!
I applaud your decision to use a bank. Along with your guild guides, it shows your growing comfort in changing our wonderful Cyodiil in very reasonable ways to suit your needs.
“Associate, close that pneumonia hole!” Teekeeus barked.'
Heehee! Didn't Talasma's lessons take?
The position of guild guide allows you to potentially introduce a new guild member at each chapter. Furgoth was a wonderful creation for Bravil! Speaking of whom:
'Furgoth was the first rude Bosmer I had met that wasn’t trying to kill me.'
I know you're new to this Bosmer business, but take it from your Bosmeri sister: You're exactly right. Rude Bosmers (that aren't trying to kill you) are indeed wonderfully rare!
Delphine! What a wonderful choice of a woman for Talendor to be smitten by! She's simply electrifying. She can rock your world and make you see stars, sparks, fire and ice - all at the same time!
Nit:
'Rasheda asked me the shake the excess off before I fully entered her shop.'
Switch the first 'the' to a 'to' and she'll be right!
Posted by: TheOtherRick Apr 15 2011, 02:58 AM
Author's Note - I am posting a short chapter to keep the thread alive. As you have noticed and heard, work has consumed almost every minute my time. Posting will be sporadic at best, but I will not let the story die. Thanks for the patience.
@ mALX - Talendor was shocked as well...it will not be his prefered mode of travel.
@ Dr. Rider - I'm not sure I want to know the experience you speak from regarding bovine sphincter survivability.
Thanks for the "it's cool" regarding my bout with RL.
@ Grits - Talen-door!
Now THAT'S funny! Oh, and Honditar is not a rare book dealer, but that's all I will say about that...
@ SubRosa - I wish I could take credit for the Fargoth line. The mod that adds the Guild Guides also adds the operators, and Furgoth actually says that in the game. It was too priceless not to use.
@ ghastley - I also have the UOP, but I hadn't noticed that it corrected the spelling. I assumed that it was spelled that way on purpose. I did go ahead and change it in the text though.
@ Olen - See comment to SubRosa regarding Furgoth. I agree...the mod creator was inspired with that piece of wit. I am glad you agree about the recommendation quest. You are right, the other one is just BORING!
@ Acadian - Nit fixed and thanks for catching it. The bank and the Guild Guides are both excellent mods. I also use a mod that gives coins weight towards encumbrance, making the bank mod even more necessary. The Guild Guide mod also adds coaches and ships for travel. I abhor the in game "fast travel".
@ All of you - Thanks again for your comments, support, and especially now...your patience.
---------------------
Chapter 23 – Food Before Business
Fortune was with me yet again. I had come to Bravil to get my next recommendation and meet a fellow named Henantier. It turns out that I could kill two deer with the same arrow. Getting settled onto a room first would be better, and I needed some food. I mentioned this to Kud-Ei.
“Of course, Associate. By all means,” the Argonian mage said, gesturing toward the stairwell, “Head up to the second floor and chose any room that is unoccupied. It is just about midday, so you can join us for some lunch once you are unpacked.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” I said with a slight bow. Kud-Ei sure was a lot nicer than her counterpart in Chorrol.
Maybe it’s only the Argonian males that are cranky…When I reached the door at the top of the stairs, I repeated the same face bruising door collision that I had performed in the basement. This time I smacked my head hard enough to see stars. “OUCH!” I yelped, rubbing my forehead as I fished out my key. There was a giggle coming from the bottom of the stairs and I turned to see Delphine looking up at me with a huge grin.
“The door opens a lot easier if you unlock it first, Associate,” she said with that angelic voice, then giggled some more as she walked away.
You are really making an impression…Way to go, knot-head!Once I was beyond the wooden source of further embarrassment, I went to the first closed door that I saw. I tried the knob first to avoid a third goose-egg on my noggin. It was unlocked.
Of course…It would only have been locked if you hadn’t checked first…The room wasn’t nearly as nice as the one I stayed in at the Chorrol Mages Guild. There was no window, and the musty odor attested to a lack of airflow and sunlight. At least this one had a door. I unpacked my belongings and stored them in the available chest and cupboard. Shedding my armor, I washed and changed into more suitable clothing for a lunch with Kud-Ei.
The dining area was in a corner of the first floor. A knee wall bordered one side and afforded a view of anyone that entered the Guild hall. Kud-Ei, Delphine, and another mage were seated around the table. They suddenly stopped talking when I walked in and I felt my face warm up when Delphine looked at me. Kud-Ei stood and welcomed me.
“Talendor, please join us for some lunch. Allow me to introduce you. This is Delphine Jend, Evoker and advanced trainer in the School of Destruction,” the Argonian said. Delphine smiled and nodded, turning up the heat behind my cheeks. “And this is Ardaline, also an Evoker and our resident Alchemist here at the Bravil Guild.”
“A pleasure to meet you Talendor,” Ardaline said. She was Altmer. Slim figured and golden skinned with shoulder length blond hair.
“Thank you and likewise to you both,” I replied with a shallow bow before I sat.
If the surroundings didn’t equal the comfortable warmth of the Chorrol Guild hall, the food certainly appeared to exceed it. There were two pot pies, both with slices missing, in the center of the table. The aroma had my mouth watering. I reached for the closer one and placed a slice on my plate. I also helped myself to some tomato, cucumber, and onion salad that was drenched in vinegar and olive oil. I took a bite of the pie and closed my eyes as I chewed. It was to die for! My taste buds were dazzled by tender beef with leeks and mushrooms embraced by thick savory gravy. The pie crust was perfect as well. When I opened my eyes, all three women were staring at me.
“What?” I said around a half full mouth of food.
“You might want to heal yourself and bring that knot on your head down a bit,” Ardaline replied, and all three chuckled.
My face heated up again as I felt the bump on my forehead. I cast a healing spell as quickly as I could and reduced the swelling.
“So, how long have you been in the Guild?” Delphine asked me as I took another bite of the pie. I chewed and raised a finger to indicate I would answer in a moment.
I hope my face isn’t as red as it feels…“Just over a week or so now,” I replied, “I am here to get a letter of recommendation for entrance to the Arcane University. Then I am likely to go to Leyawiin next. From there, I don’t know yet.” I turned to Kud-Ei and continued, “Where should I start looking for Henantier?”
Delphine and Ardaline both suddenly looked down and ate a bite of food. Kud-Ei just stared at me. After a moment, she said, “I would prefer to discuss this matter with you privately. Please enjoy your meal and find me when you have finished.”
With that, Kud-Ei excused herself and left the room. I looked back at the other two women and caught them exchanging knowing glances.
“Did I say something wrong?” I asked. Neither one said anything at first. Finally, Ardaline broke the awkward silence.
“It would not be right for us to speak on this. Best that you wait and let Kud-Ei tell you whatever she feels you might need to know,” she said and Delphine nodded in agreement.
Are you ever going to learn how to censor your tongue?“I hope I didn’t make her mad. It seems like I have a knack for irritating Chapter Stewards,” I sighed. I downed another bite of the pie and chewed on it, along with my thoughts.
“Don’t worry, Talendor,” Delphine said, “Kud-Ei is not easily angered, unless you mess with one of her girls. That’s what she calls us…’her girls’. She is very much like a mother to us. I’m sure everything will be just fine.” Then she turned to Ardaline and said, “Speaking of ‘messing with the girls’, how goes your issue with Varon?”
“Ugh…don’t get me started,” Ardaline spat with a scowl, “I am sure he took it. I spoke to Kud-Ei about it. She said that she would have someone look into it.”
I started to ask what they were talking about, but stopped myself.
Stow it…None of your business…I filled my mouth with salad instead. After the last bite of my food was gone, I washed it down with some wine. As I leaned back and rubbed my belly, I opened my mouth to ask who had prepared this wonderful food. But instead of words, a silence shattering belch roared out of my throat. The two women stared at me with their mouths agape. Once again, my face felt like a furnace.
“Excuse me…”
You really know how to turn on the charm…They stared a second longer and then burst out laughing. It was that contagious kind of laugh that sucks you right into it, and soon all three of us were holding our sides. When it died to just chuckles, Delphine said, “You are just too cute for words, Talendor. I believe that having you around is going to be enjoyable. We’ll get your dishes; you should go and see Kud-Ei now.”
“Thanks. It has been a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you again soon,” I replied with a smile and left to find the Chapter Steward.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Apr 15 2011, 03:05 AM
Talendor, time you got a big axe to kill those uncooperative doors! I hear Kurdan gro-Dragol has one available.
Talendor's mishaps in charming the ladies of the Bravil Guild are quite fun! And yes, I agree with Delphine, he is just too adorable! I heard that belch all the way over here in Illinois!
And I see you are continuing the Chorrol tradition of feeding your readers.
Posted by: mALX Apr 15 2011, 03:17 AM
Rick, I'm going to come back tomorrow and read this - just too tired tonight to focus, and I don't want to miss any of Talendor's great funny lines !!!
Posted by: Olen Apr 15 2011, 11:10 AM
Heh, the dangers of a guildhall: doors, food and all those little things all the locals know but which aren't really spoken about. You got the last bit spot on with his arriving at a new place and saying the wrong things. Very Telandor and rather funny.
Nice difference between the guildhalls too, I culd really smell the damp stale air in the room. But the company seems to be better.
QUOTE
“You might want to heal yourself and bring that knot on your head down a bit,”
Nice everyday use of magic there - it makes sense people would use it like that.
And that pie sounds good.
Posted by: SubRosa Apr 15 2011, 04:28 PM
kill two deer with the same arrow
While Teresa abhors the idea of killing deer, I do enjoy the very Bosmer-centered twist on this old phrase.
I see that Derelas is not the only Bosmer who has trouble with doors! A very amusing encounter between Talendor and the second floor door!
Kud-Ei is indeed a much nicer person to deal with than Teekeus. Come to think of it, the Argonian females usually are much more pleasant than the men. At least the ones who don't leave raw meat outside your house in the hope of coaxing lions inside...
Plus a tasty meal. You are indeed following the Chorrol tradition of feeding your readers well! Quite an excellent opportunity for Talendor to turn on the charm as well!
It was quite nice to meet the girls for dinner. I wonder if he will be going to meet Varon Vamori after first paying a visit to Henantier...
Posted by: mALX Apr 15 2011, 10:22 PM
This chapter was perfect and charming !!! Talendor's obvious distraction with the meal throughout the chapter was hilarious the way you wrote it, cramming in bites steadily and raising his finger to swallow before answering - you had me rolling with this chapter !!! The Pièce de résistance was the loud belch at the end (to add proof to the fact that he shoveled it in so fast that he sucked in air with each bite, ROFL !!!)
I absolutely loved this chapter !!!! (and your subtle weaving of the humor through it) !!!
Posted by: Grits May 3 2011, 07:13 PM
Delphine said it, Talendor is too cute for words.
The knowing glances around the table spoke volumes. While RL has you occupied, it’s nice to know that Talendor is comfortable in Bravil enjoying pleasant company.
Posted by: RainbowVeins Jun 27 2012, 05:03 AM
Wow, looks like I'm a little late to the party. Just dropping in to let you know you have another reader, and I've loved every minute of Talendor's journey so far. I have to agree with everyone else here who adores your Bosmer and his antics. Seriously, too cute. I'll check back every so often for new stuff. Great write!
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