Do you ever feel like life is guiding you, or at least providing the medicine you need to move forward at certain times?

Lately I've been getting impatient with my lonliness and some personal problems. I guess life just isn't what I thought it would be. When I started meditating I saw it as a way for me to dump all this clutter in my life so I could maintain a tranquil state of mind and a perspective on life unaffected by judgment and prejudice. I knew it'd take a long time to achieve this goal and that I ought to find rewards out of meditating itself rather than "having meditated" if you know what I mean.

But in just starting the road to letting go of unnecessary attachments and whatnot, I naturally didn't really see how long and slow the road really is. I lost sight of "living for the moment." Frankly, a girlfriend almost became a material, qualifying factor to judge myself and my self worth rather than what it ought to be, someone I can trust, understand and go through life experience with.

Right now I'm beginning to tighten my grip on my life. I'm learning to regiment myself and complete tasks on time when I used to succumb to laziness and procrastination in observation of how ultimately pointless such chores are. I realize now working in the moment and doing things that feel like no fun have a point because they make me better at handling the inevitable parts of life that are just no fun. So, upon realizing this and working harder I received a glimpse of an end of stagnation and boredom. One can't have fun without work, you know. I can't stand living with my mom in her house because there are no sources of fun here, but I can't live anywhere else unless I work hard for it.

So my sister was promoted to manager at the ski resort she works at and has decided to lend a helping hand to me and hire me. So my life is as follows: Take the train to Utah to visit my Dad on the 13th and hang out there over Thanksgiving, work for my sister, and then go back to one of my old stomping grounds in the Bay Area as a volunteer for the California Conservation Corps where I'll be preparing Marin County in handling natural disasters as well as training to respond to Natural Disasters that could occur anywhere in the country. In short, after January I'll be at ground zero of any natural disaster that hits this country. It sounds cool to me, and at first I felt like stagnation was over and I felt a brief moment of happiness before I was reminded of what I don't have which I stupidly allowed to affect my self worth.

Back to what I said at the beginning of this ramble. I was watching Cast Away on TV and after Tom Hanks came back from the island I couldn't help but wonder how the movie could end well. Helen Hunt could have either chose him over her family, or the movie could have ended inconclusively, or so I thought. Then Hanks had a monologue that gave the movie its theme and drew a sharp parallel to being stranded on an island with losing someone you love. Somehow, you just stay alive and keep breathing because tomorrow the sun will rise... and who knows what the tide will bring in. It was at that moment when the movie went from good to great. Before that it was just compelling to watch and see how he'd manage, but when he says that I realized we're all cast aways just doing what we can until we are fortunate enough to get the next step. I wallowed in not having a next step right in front of me all the time, but it's just part of life.

So there's my melodramatic update for you all.

That's one helluva update, Doomman. I'm glad to hear you're on the move and have a job; keep yourself safe in the zero grounds.

Biggest news here is the jaundice epidemic in my city:
http://www.b92.net/eng/news/society-articl...mp;nav_id=45075

All because of dirty hands. People will never learn.

Hmm. Sounds like life is.. moving forward Doomed.

But I suppose working at a ski resort can't be to bad. Cept for that snow and stuff. I was so amazed when in snowed up here in the hippy capitol of the world in October.

My Spanish Teacher showed my class this video, and it gave us all a laugh! The Spanish Spanish Love Song If anyone needs me to translate anything he says (or missays) just ask. Enjoy!

This post has been edited by Lord Revan: Nov 7 2007, 12:06 AM

I love the snow. Actually I hate the snow, but I love snowboarding.

Talking about snow, this is the second time today thats its snowed so far this year.

Its stupid summer here, all the ski fields are closed now, there was one open until recently but that was too expensive and is closed now too.

Actually wintwer is coming here, snow at the east coast and in the northern part. Where I am just now it's just terribly windy...

Anyway my project has started, we are assembling and establishing our equipment. Performance will start around the 18th, before that there's a lot to do, including a big fat party!

This weekend my family will be visiting me, we're gonna have this surprise-party for my old parents, they're turned 80 and 85 years old this year so my brother and me are arranging some family-celebration on saturday.

Today after work I'm supposed to go shopping....mmmm the foodstuffs!

Be well guys, I'll be in touch, the wireless lan on my hotel works good for me....maybe because my clever lil Mac always finds a good network to connect to!

Pisces, wanna trade places? Bone-chilling cold, snow, wind, we have it all. You can even have whatever kind of flu-like infection I have!

Ok, you can have my broken wrist.

I'll trade you both this apathy bug I'm having.

Hmmmm... I don't really need a third wrist, but I'll take that deal anyway!

Seriously though, how did that happen?

I'm sure I mentioned this a couple of pages ago, but I feel off my bicycle on the way home from a ministry for the environment talk.

Edit: Apologies. It is a legitimate question to ask though, just how much money is that guy making off that site. I for one believe there has got to be some sort of scam in there.

This post has been edited by milanius: Nov 13 2007, 04:19 PM

Okay, is it just me .. but could that first site take all the money for setting the site up and the people they must pay for it to function and whatever advertising budget there might be and ALL their expenses and PREVENT at least a few of those deaths by hunger with their money .. instead of almost glorifying in those deaths or at least have the attitude of we are cool because we have the finger on all this and you don't ..... .



Sorry - I tend to talk in long sentences when I get upset! Get off your horses people, turn the calvary around and buy some darn meals for those kids if your so concerned. Ah well .. better to sit in an office and alert other people after the fact, eh?



As for the other freerice site .. I got up to 200 grains of rice and then realized .. grains?? grains? Don't they mean barrels or 30 lb. bags or what? Very weird stuff Mil - where did you find those sites?

Just got back from seeing Dark Forest, The Agonist, Arsis, The Faceless, and Enslaved live. Dark Forest, Arsis, and Enslaved were amazing, The Faceless were very technical but a little too scatterbrained for my liking and I couldn't get into The Agonist. But the three bands I did like totally made up for the other bands and the night was overall pretty awesome. Norwegians know how to make good metal!

Another couple setbacks were that the friend I was bringing with me ended up getting ill today so she couldn't come. Some dude accidentally spilled some beer on me, so now I kinda reek of it. And I almost got nailed by a car on my walk home because the guy wasn't paying attention.

But still, I had an amazing night! Now I can't wait until the 22nd when Vader comes into town!

Vader?

A Polish death metal band. All I know is that they've made some music for a promo of The Witcher. (which is a great game, by the way. The RPG genre might not be completely dead after all )

Rane... you... posted something. Like, a post. In Coffee Shop.

This post has been edited by milanius: Nov 14 2007, 10:37 PM

Hey, we all make mistakes sometimes.

...


Crap. I did it again, didn't I?