This was wonderful! The task with Sanguine was creatively conceived and nicely executed.

Your dialogue and descriptions are becoming quite rich and captivating now.

Some family history revealed.

Well done, Zalphon.

Thank you, I wonder what Malx will say when she gets here.

I expected a bit more from the God of Debauchery (Sanguine's actually the Daedric Prince that I like, second only to Malacath), but hey. This chapter is actually well made!

Good job, Zalph. Awaiting the next update! And yeah, I wonder what will mALX say if catch up.

Probably : "WooHoo, yeah! This is AWESOME!!!11 You ROCK, Zalphon!" don't get me wrong, she hit the nail right on the head.

The ale was so powerful it'd kill any mere mortal. He wasn't expecting some "hero" to beat his loyal dog, Barbas.

Whoah, did I just read that one part right or have my eyes finally ran away from me?

Barbas, hound of Clavicus Vile not Sanguine. Sanguine is well, too sanguine to have a pet of any like (except humans and merfolk! Ugh..). I think you've mistook Sangy for Clavylin (!). It's all right though, happens to everyone. Including me!

Well, good thing I didn't name te priestess, huh? Still the High Priestess of Sanguine has to have a strong tolerance to alcohol, skooma, moonsugar, etc.

Chapter Seventeen: The Shrine of Clavicus Vile

When we left the house, it took us about two hours to reach the Shrine of the Vain Clavicus Vile. The Shrine depicted a horn man with a cane and a dog. It was pristine, unlike the others. I kneeled, "Lord Vile, I am the Champion of Nirn and am here to earn your favor in the war against Dagon and his 'Master'"

An echoing voice intruded my skull, "The Champion of Nirn has come to stop Dagon? My reward shall be the Masque of Clavicus Vile, but you must give me your coffer."

I looked down at the steel coffer I owned, it was a small, steel chest with a lock I could never open. The Coffer was surprisingly weightless, probably an enchantment. It was Korvan's. I gently laid it on the Shrine with a tear in my eye.

"King Orgnum's Coffer, finally mine," the voice echoed. "My masque is in your bags, but I do thank you dearly for this item, the gold it will bring my followers will be put to use." Instantly the chest dissapeared and my bags got a little heavier.

I pulled a helmet out of my knapsack. It was a closed-face steel helmet. The viser looked like a face, and the helmet part of it looked like an intricately engraved helmet wih horns. I put it on, it covered my skull and molded to fit me perfectly. "We must head to Meridia's Shrine," Quick-Strike stated.

Evangeline started to shake in fear, "M-M-Meridia hates necromancers, sh-sh-she'll kill me."

I held her tightly and whispered, "She won't harm you. You're more important than some petty necromancer, Evangeline."

She nodded at me. We were about two miles away from the Shrine of Meridia and night was coming. I decided to set up camp, and the others agreed. By time we finished, ate some roasted venison I hunted, and finished talking, the moon was already high in the sky.

Evangeline and I decided to head to bed, the Argonian and the Khajiit decided to stay up. I was hastily consume by the sleep. A few hours later, I awoke and began to eavesdrop again. "Do you remember Akavir, J'skooma?" Quick-Strike said calmly.

"J'skooma remembers the vampire snakemen who almost ate Quick-Strike."

"I do miss the Nerevarine. It's ashame the Imperial Settlers were attacked by the Tscaeli."

"J'skooma thinks Nerevar was good. Nerevar saved us from Demented Imperial Legion Soldiers. He wanted to stay there for reasons J'skooma doesn't know," J'skooma remembered.

"Maybe after Zalphon is slain or redeemed we'll go back to Akavir for a few more decades," Quick-Strike explained. "I'm sure Nerevar misses us. Remember he gave us Hopesfire after we infiltrated the Tscaeli Temple. Nice blade, I when the Tscaeli were coming for his home he asked for it back. I must say, he did use those two blades with elegance."

"J'skooma thinks Kalian should come, too," J'skooma pleaded.

"Of course he can come, I'm sure Nerevar will be honored to meet the Champion of Nirn," Quick-Strike replied. "I just hope he can handle the boat-ride, you remember, it took us a few months to reach Akavir."

Quick-Strike and J'skooma knew the Nerevarine? They actually fought the Tscaeli? What wondrous lives they've lived. If I do live after Dagon and his Master are gone, I do look forward to going to Akavir. The Imperial Explorers never did return, their conversation explains a lot.

J'skooma yawned, "J'skooma thinks it's time for rest."

The Argonian agreed, "Let's get some sleep. We best not wake the others up."

Sleep quickly filled my mind as I heard their footsteps. Sweet, blissful sleep...

Well done Z! I particularly like the hint at them having been to Akavir.
Nitpick: You might want to look at this sentence:

Written like this it would appear the venison was roasted before it was hunted. Bit too concenient hehe.

And another small nit: Tscaeci, not Tsaeli.

This post has been edited by Remko: Jul 2 2010, 01:18 PM

You are doing a nice job, and I'm pleased to see you continuing to add nice detail to flesh out the environment and characters.

Meridia? Uh, oh. I'm with Evangeline - nervous.

Chapter Eighteen: The Shrine of Meridia

When we awoke, we feasted on the remnants of the venison. After an hour we arrived at the Shrine of Meridia. It depicted a woman with her hands held together. It was mossy, cracked, and showed obvious signs of aging. "Meridia, what may I do to earn your favor in the war against Dagon and his master," I questioned.

"The Champion of Nirn, you seem to misunderstand," the echoing voice invaded. "You are the Champion of Nirn and Guardian of Mundus, you have already earned my favor by pledging yourself to this quest to protect Nirn and Mundus from Dagon and Zalphon." A golden ring appeared on my finger, it also had an oval-ruby. I hastily took it off.

"Thank you, Meridia," I bowed. "I am honored that I have your favor." I began to step away, the others followed me. Suddenly Evangeline fell to the ground and couldn't stand up.

"Help me," she screamed. "Please!"

The Voice of Meridia filled our minds, "The Necromancer shall suffer for her crimes." Instantly, in rainbow flame, Evangeline was gone. I fell to my knees and threw off the Masque of Clavicus Vile.

"NO!" I screamed. Tears rolled down my cheeks, she was in the Coloured Rooms. She was...gone. Forever. J'skooma picked up the Masque and the last thing I remember is trying to run to the statue and a blunt force hitting me on my head.

When I awoke, Quick-Strike stood over me, "She's gone, Kalian. We had no choice. You were going to defile her shrine and go to the same realm of Oblivion as Evangeline."

"I'll kill you, you N'wah!" I hissed. He shook his head and sighed as I drew my sword. We were in a clearing in the woods. As I slashed at him, he dodged. I continued slashing, lunging, and chopping at him, but each time I missed.

"We had no choice," The Argonian glumly said. "I didn't want to leave her, but we needed to sacrafice her."

"Fine," I growled. "I won't forget this though."

"J'skooma thinks we should go to the Shrine of Malacath, which is nearest," the Khajiit butted in.

We started walking. I didn't speak the entire way. Finally we reached some hut a few miles out from the Shrine of Malacath. The Khajiit entered, and I followed. My feet made me walk over to the bedroll, where I laid down and was engulfed by the blankets. Sleep soon followed.

Again, I awoke and began to eavesdrop.

"Evangeline will be sorely missed," Quick-Strike grumbled. "I cared a lot about her, I liked her."

"J'skooma will miss the necromancer," the Khajiit replied.

"I wonder if we should contact the Order. Do you remember long ago, when we were recruited to the Watchers of Mundus. One day, Kalian will join. In the Prophecy of the Black Dawn, it spoke of a champion to unite the Aedra and the Daedra," The Argonian reminisced. "The High Council would be very happy to finally hear from us after what happened in Thras."

"J'skooma remembers Thras, nearly died when the Sload tried to kill J'skooma for burning the Codex of Necromancy," the Khajiit chuckled. "Remember Pyandonea?"

"Yes, I remember when the Maormer let us ride the sea serpents after we stopped the traitor," Quick-Strike laughed. "I'll say that sea serpents are far more interesting than any minor horse."

I rolled over and managed to sleep. However, I managed to think about how much they were hiding from me. Obviously a lot...

Ev-Evangeline is gone.

I'm heartbroken.

Oh Zalphon, how could you?

Meridia! I hate you!

Let us hope that Kalian succeeds in his quest, for the price he is paying is high indeed.

I was expecting one sentence of sadness and a lot of over the history revealed.

Chapter Nineteen: The Shrine of Malacath

After I went to sleep that night, all I saw was Evangeline being tormented by Aurorans. Them just cackling maniacally. I tried to help her, but it was as if a spell were cast on me to keep me paralyzed. The tears rolling down her cheeks, like the Niben River.

Quick-Strike awoke me. "We must continue walking," he commanded. "It is important." Obediently, I put on my armor and we started walking towards the Shrine of Malacath. The head of the shrine was gone, so it depicted only a cracked, gray humanoid with a hammer.

I knelt, "What must I do to earn your favor, Trinimac."

"That is a name I haven't been called by in eons," the Echoing Voice laughed. "The Champion of Nirn, wow I am impressed. If you succeed in my duty, I will send one-thousand ogrim titans to assist you in the Deadlands."

"What is the test?" I asked.

"You are a Dunmer," he growled. "Defeat my Ogrim Titan with only your hands and you shall have my favor."

A giant, green, bloated ogre-like creature came from behind the shrine. I threw down my sword and punched at it. It sent ripples through the fat of the creature and I looked up. A fist came into my face. The blinding-blow left me just that, blinded and stunned. I wildly kicked and to my surprise, hit it in the groin.

"Me kill," the Ogrim Titan roared. "Me kill pointy-ears." I jabbed at its chest. I whispered a prayer to Stendarr as I punched. When I pulled back, I saw a hole through the Ogrim's chest. It grabbed where its heart should've been and fell to its knees.

"You're the strongest Dunmer I've met since the Nerevarine," Malacath said in amazement. "The ogrim titans will be waiting."

I nodded respectfully and bowed. "The nearest shrine is about a week's travel, it's Hircine's," Quick-Strike said. J'skooma and I nodded. By time we stopped, we saw the Serpent in the sky. We stopped in a forest-clearing. My mind was soon victim to sleep. Then I awoke and heard them talking.

"J'skooma, do not worry," Quick-Strike calmed his friend down. "Kalian grows stronger with each passing day. He'll needn't fear Dagon by time the Trials of the Champion are complete. I can sense his power growing."

"J'skooma can hear movement," the Khajiit warned. "Be ready." I looked around and saw a Breton in torn, black robes and dirty hair.

With haste I stood up and hugged the female Breton. "Evangeline," I exclaimed with joy."

"How did you escape?" Quick-Strike inquisitvely probed. "The Auroran Guardians are very powerful."

"I learned secrets of mysticism I never thought possible." she replied. "How long was I gone?"

"A few days," I answered. Tears streamed down my face. Tears of joy, she was back.

"Only a few days?" Evangeline asked. "It has been years, I was beaten by the Aurorans for fifteen or more years." She lit a torch and showed her face. Her hair was graying, her skin showed more signs of age, she had dark circles and bags around her eyes.

"E-E-Evangeline," I whispered. "How did they do that to you."

"Kalian," she smiled. "For fifteen years I have suffered. I am free. My bones have been shattered, my skin has been sliced open, I have lived on rats for years."

"J'skooma thinks Evangeline needs to rest," J'skooma blurted. "She looks tired."

"In a bed?" She asked enthusiastically. "Or on the soft grass. I have slept on cold-stone for over a decade, anything would be an improvement."

"The grass," Quick-Strike stated. "It's very soft."

The aged Evangeline looked to be about thirty or more years of age. The intensity of her age must have been done by the stress. Finally, she layed on the grass. I tried to say, "Good night." However, she was already asleep.

I layed next to her with a tear in my eye. They owed me a blood vendetta. They changed Evangeline from the meek girl I fell in love with, to the strong and enduring woman she is now. The love I felt for Evangeline was gone. I was no longer 'in love' with her, rather I 'loved' her, but there was a severe difference.

Sleep filled my mind again...

To grow old in love together is to experience never changing, never ending beauty. To have time march at different tempos however, is cruel indeed. Poor Evangeline. Poor Kalian.

I am really enjoying what you are coming up with for the different challenges. I also quite like the creative banter between Quick-Strike and J'skooma.

It's really enlightening on their past since my story "The Knight."

Chapter Twenty: The Shrine of Hircine

A long week's travel followed that night. Quick-Strike told me how I was distant, Evangeline also noticed it. J'skooma was even gloomy during our travels. He had no amusing conversations with cheese as we walked through the forests, instead he argued with himself.

When we reached the shrine, it was cracked, moss was growing, and it depicted a stag-headed man with a spear in his right hand and a dog in the other. "Hircine, it I, the Champion of Nirn," I called out. "What must I do to earn your favor?"

"Prove your skill in the hunt," his echoing voice invaded. "The most powerful prey, is the one with reason. Evangeline is your target. If you succeed, then I will send one-thousand were-beasts to aid you. As well as give you something else."

"Evangeline," I hissed. "You shall fall to my hand."

The woman walked towards me and kneeled. I was about to behead her, but for some reason I missed. I tried and tried, but every time had the same results. "Sanctuary spells," she girlishly giggled. "You'll not be killing me."

With a tear in my eye, I said a prayer to Arkay. My sword hit her neck, perfectly. A clean kill. "Impressive," Hircines' voice flattered. "My werewolves will aid you, but Kalian... Beware, I fought Zalphon hundreds of years ago. He almost banished me, but I used my werebears and werewolves. Remember, Kalian... You are the Champion of Nirn, but you are still semi-mortal." On the shrine appeared a furry-cuirass. The Savior's Hide.

I took off my breast-plate, chain-mail shirt, and cloth shirt. I put it on, took off the cloth shirt, put on the chain-mail shirt, and finally the breast-plate. A little itchy, but it would protect me from the spell-casters of Nirn. "The nearest shrine is that of Sheogorath," Quick-Strike insighted. "The Mad God can do amazing things."

I nodded. Night came when we found the abandoned city of Border Watch. Legend said that a plague of rats came, the sheep died, and flaming dogs fell from the sky. Being this close to the Shrine of Sheogorath makes sense that strange events would occur.

I headed for the inn and took a bed. Sleep came hastily, yet I awoke in the middle of the night to hear Quick-Strike and J'skooma downstairs.

"The High Watcher will want to meet us here at sun-rise," Quick-Strike sighed. "In the letter I recieved, he was most pleased about Kalian's progress."

"We should probably rest," J'skooma replied. "We needn't irritate the High Watcher." I let sleep consume me. When I awoke, the sun shined in my face. I heard three voices. I walked to the staircase. My two friends and a humanoid in black robes, with black boots, black gloves, and his hood up.

"High Watcher Magnus," Quick-Strike deeply bowed. "We are most sorry for this foul residence."

"J'skooma is deeply sorry," J'skooma said. "Forgive J'skooma."

"All is forgiven, Watchers," Magnus nodded. "I would like to say how well you've done with Kalian. I figured he wasn't the one of the prophecy. I do believe it's almost time to induct young Kalian into the Watchers."

"The Watchers hold many secrets," the Argonian verbally riposted. "He must complete the tasks set before him, first."

"Indeed, but perhaps I should give infuse his blood with the a fraction so small of the power of Aetherius it would seem non-existent."

"That may help," Quick-Strike agreed. "He should be asleep."

"He's not. I can sense his energy. He is up the stairs watching us," Magnus pointed. "Come down, Kalian."

Obediently, I came down. "What is thou will," I asked. "I will serve you until my dying breath, and even after if you so choose."

He pulled an eight-sided shard of his pocket. It glowed bright blue, almost blindingly so. The High Watcher put it to my chest and instantly I fell to the ground, unconscious...

Kalian seems to believe his quest justifies the choices he makes to court the Daedric Princes.

Perhaps he can save Nirn, but at what cost?

Your story is certainly evocative.

Let me ask you this, would you take a life to save the world?

What the- You killed Evangeline Mortalitis, for the second time! I mean, I can understand that it's a necessary evil, but this is just unKallian-like.

What? No sad goodbyes? No 'I will remember your sacrifice forever more'? Just get frenzied by duty and decapitate the woman he loves? In an earlier post, you said :



Change of plans, Zalph? Read the bold letters. In this chapter, I didn't see any of the aforementioned personalities.

That aside, this chapter made me excited. I wonder what Sheogorath has in plans for them? I also liked the 'Prophecy of the Black Dawn' and the 'Demented Imperial Guards'. I wish you could make a story of Quick Strike and J'skooma's adventures! So many past history that I would like to learn!

Demented... Black.. Dawn... Funny things, no?

Kalian was so depressed over what happened to Evangeline. And he had to make a command-decision... Mundus or Evangeline? He does care about all of them...very, very much, but he has a duty that he accepts. Kalian has yet to show his feelings over the events of the Shrine. He may not show it...yet... And as he saw it, he was freeing her. She had been beaten, tortured, maimed, etc. for fifteen years. He was releasing her from her anguish...

And at the idea for a story between Quick-Strike and J'skooma, that'd be a long story. Being a member of the Watchers of Mundus has its benefits.

Edit: had to remove something that revealed a little too much about the plot.

This post has been edited by Zalphon: Jul 7 2010, 12:46 AM