That Gils is nothing but trouble, Maxical should be more careful. A brilliant chapter and you continue to deliver a rich story that keeps me wanting more. please.

Wonderfully rich background on Gils and Agronak. Well-presented by using Hannibal as the messenger.

Now, we have one very confused kitty.

I second hazmick's warning- whatever Gils may say, he doesn't really love Maxical. Of course, I find Fathis' intentions questionable, as well, so my bias is showing.

This chapter adds a lot of depth- and provides more mysteries to ponder. And it appears that Hannibal is doing some of that pondering, himself.

Poor kitty- raging hormones are NOT fun.

The story is always improving. Will you ever peak? Will the world ever know how many licks until the center of the tootsie pop? So many questions, so few answers...

I have got a LOT of catching up to do. Let's begin:

Chapter 34: Tails and Tales of Madness

Cage matches, Orc impotence, goring crotches, and Wes Johnson as Lucien LaChance The Gray Fox the voice of the Arena! Why do I have the feeling I may need plastic covers for my screen and keyboard to read what happens next?! Everyone else pointed out everything else I wanted to. Let me echo their comments with a heartfelt ME TOO!!!

Chapter 35: Gaiden Shinji’s Nightmare

WAITAMINUTE!!!! Owyn must have been eating his ‘Maxical tablets’ if he is willing to send her into a pitch-black room in which you can’t carry a torch for fear of blowing up the Arena?? Why do I know that this will not end well?

BOOOMMMM!!!!!

Is that the esteemed Arch-Mage removing an impaled body from a spike on top of the Arena?

Gaiden Shinji’s nightmare, indeed!!

Given how much this ‘episode’ is going to cost him, tell Fathis to just write a check and buy The Best Defense if he wants to get the golden armor back!

Chapter 36: Broke, Busted, Disgusted


Classic.

So all of this, everything that Agronak did is to maintain the appearance of virility? He’s Grand Champion of the [censored] Arena for Shinji’s sake! He could walk around [censored] Cyrodiil in a russet felt dress and no one would have the [censored] guts to question his masculinity. I wonder how he’s going to feel when he learns that Maxical has written a veritable book of jokes lampooning his [censored] ‘condition’.

Khajiit porn FTW!!!

Chapter 37: A Secret By Any Other Name




Owyn’s been hitting the sauce again!! I hope the truce he was on wasn’t with Andronicus!!!

I remember you once made a comment in a chapter of mine that had me thinking about it for days afterward. Let me return the favor by pointing out that Owyn is too drunk to realize that Gils DIDN’T WASH HIS HANDS!!!

Honestly I don’t think you should worry about re-wording a thing! Incorporating true cat-like behavior into Maxical has been admirably accomplished. The fact that you are able to do so in a way that makes us all think of it as something else is pure genius!

Chapter 38: The Orc and the Urn

A ‘fudge dragon’? Do I detect the strains of laughter coming from Mr. Garrison’s classroom?

I am with everyone else here. I can’t wait to read the next edition of the Courier! Please tell me that we get to!

*Destri hides from all of his male friends while beset by a welcome case of infectious giggles*

Chapter 39: Agronak, Back to Back

Hassiri just shines in this chapter. In fact, all of the brothers at the Courier are well-drawn, but I just love the way that you have written Hassiri.

You forgot ‘assaulting a member of the Imperial guard’ to Agronak’s list of charges. The idea that he might get to read the next edition of the Courier while sitting in the cell next to Andronicus is too delicious for words.

Antoine’s sudden burst into song was a little jarring. This is a sore spot for me because I have had to tell people time after time, that not all Redguards are adept making rhyme.

*Destri re-reads his last sentence, then looks sheepishly at his own feet.*

Dammit!

Chapter 40: Promotions and Commotions

Is that the esteemed Arch-Mage imparting sex education to our favorite Khajiit in the middle of the night?!

Finally Maxical gets her own copy of The Khajiit Mystique, but seeing as how she embodies it, I am not sure how much she is going to learn. Maybe it will improve her ability to draw dirty pictures, or maybe it will be the source for new inspiration for more limericks to make at Agronak’s expense.

Chapter 41: Mistakes We Make

It’s about time between Maxical and Gils! I honestly can’t understand why anyone would root for Fathis in this situation. Sure he has been there for her with an open wallet, but that’s all he’s been there for. Gils has risked life and limb to keep her safe, all for the sake of a vow that she gave to another. If that isn’t love, what is? Sure he has acted poorly in the past, but with Maxical he has never been anything short of honorable. Go Gils!!

And Foxy, are you referring to Kathleen Woodiwiss, author of The Flame and the Flower. That is the only romance novel I have ever liked. I regret to say that I have not read any of her other books.



All caught up again!

@ Foxy - ARGH! But...at least she has 368 million copies in print of her works! Well, you may not love my romantic chapter, but you will def love how awesome the new Damien roles are! I will send them to you! Thank you so much Foxy!! (ARGH!)

***
@ Remko - Thank you so much Remko !!! I like Hannibal more in this story than in the original Maxical story too. I didn't like Gils in game that much, but he took over my PC when I was writing this, lol. Thanks!

***
@ Hazmick - Thank you so very much Hazmick! Don't we all make mistakes and wrong choices sometimes, lol. - wait, did I say that? Lol.

***
@ Acadian - Thank you very much Acadian - I was worried there was too much "telling" going on there, but wanted the reader in on the background of those two. You ROCK !!!

***
@ Treydog - That last scene after they left the Arcane - It was a combination of intent that he manipulate and being undecided what to do with his character. In the end it brought something that I found running through the rest of the story that I actually liked and wanted to keep in there. Uh oh, did that horse get loose again? ARGH !!! Thank you so very much Treydog!!

***
@ Zalphon - Thank you so much Zalphon! It will get better, I promise! Lol.

***
@ YEAH!!!! Destri !!!!!!! -



And he can't say he wasn't warned!



That was my fave line in that chapter I think.



ROFL !!!!!



EW !!!



SPEW!!! ROFL !!! GAAAAH !!!!



Isn't it now "Mrs. Garrison's classroom?" - and absolutely correct. My son walked by and said that, it is where he got it from. I watched it repeatedly and logged all the references I could, then supplemented them with the Urban dictionary, lol.



Thank you!!!!!! From someone who made a bar girl scrubbing the floor in one tiny scene into a memorable and tangible character - I feel humbled and tickled to hear (at the same time) !!!




It was jarring, that is why I had Owyn whisper to him first as if he briefed him on what to do - but I fiddled with it till I could scream and couldn't find a way to make it a smooth transition. On this upcoming chapter you will see it had some significance, that is why I was hesitant to drop it.

Thank you so very much Destri !!! You have been terribly missed, and I am so glad you are posting again !!!! WOO HOO !!!!!

*

*


Chapter 42: Opening Pandora’s Box



******* Hannibal

The door of Fathis’s suite was opened by Alix. “Hannibal! What are you doing up at this time of the morning?�

“The Orc laid hands on Maxical.� Hannibal said, pushing past him into the room.

“When?� Alix’s voice got very quiet.

The sound of Fathis leaping out of bed was followed by him charging into the room, his armor conjured by the time he was halfway to Hannibal. “Where is he?�

“It was earlier today. He’s in jail for it right now. He crushed her shoulder with his bare hands. It gets worse. He poisoned his mother, she didn‘t die from the illness. Maxical knows about the poison but she thought it was a suicide. She said the Orc was with his mother that night. She didn’t figure it out and I didn‘t tell her.�

Fathis stretched his arms out and started loading spells.

“Wait Fathis. When you were in school, and wanted to get rid of a bully, did they ever do a chain on them?� Alix’s eyes reflected cold like one would expect from an assassin rather than the easy going man Hannibal knew.

“Yes, of course.� Fathis said with impatience, drawing his sword and pulling a yellow-gray whetstone with practiced ease over the blades.

“Well something hardly anyone knows is that Agronak has a glass jaw. If he is attacked with magic, he’ll come out looking like a victim…a hero. But if regular citizens on the streets are able to knock him out, he will be humiliated publicly. He tried to ruin Maxical, it‘s time for payback. It might be time to air his other problem as well.� Alix’s eyes looked calculating.

“I’m all for that.� Fathis’s eyes lit up, obviously finding favor with exposing Agronak‘s inability in that area. “…Wait…must it be fisticuffs?� Fathis’s expression drew down into a frown.

Hannibal clapped Fathis on the shoulder. “Don’t be disappointed Fathis, Alix knows tricks even someone not experienced in hand-to-hand can do.“ He turned to Alix, his eyes gleaming. “Horseshoes in a sack?�

“Exactly. Fathis, I’ll show you how it works, you may need to boost your arm speed with magic, but you can take out a Daedra with one hit using this trick.� Alix clapped Fathis on the shoulder. He started pulling his boots on. “Er…Fathis, are you willing to pay a few people about 200 Septims each plus pay their lawyers fees if they get arrested for assault?�

“Of course!� Fathis answered without looking up from digging through his spells. “Which is best to boost arm speed Traven?�

Hannibal glanced up from scanning through his own spells. “Say Alix, what about bringing Hassiri in to report? Maxical uses him exclusively. She said he is…in her corner? He’s the one that made her arrest look like bad guards and worse lawyers. Wouldn‘t it spread Agronak’s humiliation quicker and farther if it was reported in the Courier?�

“Good idea Hannibal!� The calculating look was back on Alix’s face.

Hannibal dug his elbow in Fathis‘s side, showing him which spell to use. “Use this spell to speed your arm movement. You have to wear a robe or cloak the first couple days to hide the sack, after that your gauntlet, or even bare fist with enhanced speed is all you need.�

“A robe! I won’t…wait, I could wear that crimson velvet I bought in Shivering Isles…� Fathis mused aloud.

Alix grinned, gouging Hannibal with his elbow.

“Fathis, what about that purple one? Maxical said you looked like a king in it.� Hannibal taunted.

“I’ll just wait till the third day so I can wear armor. You’re a real comedian, Traven.“ Fathis practiced using the spell several times, shooting his arm forward.

“You have to do an uppercut on Agronak, like this Fathis.� Alix showed him.







******* Alix

“Hello Arch Mage Traven. Come in. How may I be of service to you?� Hassiri held his pad up.

Alix reached over and pulled the pad down, then he and Fathis introduced themselves to Hassiri speaking in polite Khajiit, which is used to denote someone of ranking or high respect. Hassiri preened slightly.

“If you don’t mind, may we speak with you off the record?� Alix asked.

“Come in, please.�

“Hassiri, when you were in school, did they run chains on bullies?� Alix asked, taking the indicated seat.

“I take it you heard of the Orc’s attack on Maxical.�

“Yes. It tops the debt he already owed for trying to ruin her publicly.� Fathis added in polite Khajiit.

Hassiri agreed, but noticed Hannibal didn’t understand. “You need to study the language as your friends have, Arch Mage Traven.� He spoke in Cyrodiilic and nodded to the others to follow suit.

“Your plan is a chain on the Orc? And what role in this are you here to discuss with me?� Hassiri turned back to Fathis.

“I am willing to pay a salary of your choice for three days to be in certain places and witness, do interviews. We would like coverage by the Courier. Also, if you know anyone that wishes to participate, I will pay 200 Septims and lawyers fees if they are arrested. Here is the lawyer I’ll be providing.� Fathis handed him the card.

Hassiri’s eyes widened. “He is the best“ He hesitated. “…I…think you may be interested in something that happened just this evening. The Orc resisted arrest. Owyn subdued him with one hit, then left. Agronak woke up thrashing…a young lad stepped up and knocked him out again, one hit…but then made up a rhyme about him and sang it. It was quite funny. He sang about Orc mixes and a particular…lack in certain areas, about him having a glass jaw…he had me in stitches. Humor has a way of reaching people quicker, Maxical uses it quite a bit. People like rhymes, remember them.“

“The…inability, the glass jaw; both are true about Agronak. I wonder how the lad knew?� Alix mused.

“Impotence in the offspring of Orc mixes has been the subject of much research.� Hannibal confirmed, nodding.

Hassiri’s eyes lit with unreleased laughter. “Too bad we are off the record. But if you run this chain, maybe the participants could…make up a rhyme about it for me to report.�

“I’m all for that. Even if you just report it as rumor it will catch attention.� Fathis added.

“Simplicia would be great for that, did you ever see her comedy act Hassiri? She used to be handy with a sack of horseshoes, too. S’Jirra would be good too…how much greater would be the humiliation if women were knocking him out!� Alix grinned and turned to Hannibal. “I’ve had a crush on Simplicia since I was a tadpole.�

“Oh I used to go sit in the front row, just hoping she would glance my way.� Hannibal reminisced, his eyes sparkling. “Her humor just touched on the risqué, never over the top…she was my first love…� Hannibal stared unseeing at a flowered vase on the table as if lost in thought.

“I used to squirm under the tent on my belly to see her. She’d just smile at me…� Alix’s voice sounded far away as he revisited the memories, a lopsided grin on his face.

“I too had a crush on her.� Hassiri said quietly. “How would someone who wanted to be an outraged citizen contact you, the suite at the Merchants?� Hassiri directed the question to Fathis, but Alix answered.

“Yes, and we must be done before the music festival.�

“I will also be unavailable that day, your daughter has given me a heads up. Reporting on this will give me great pleasure. I am not fond of the Orc at all. Your daughter has treated me very well.�

“She speaks highly of you Hassiri.� Hannibal smiled.

“And I want to thank you for the kind coverage you gave her over the arrest Hassiri.� Alix said, rising and shaking his hand. “Hannibal and I will step out if you would like to discuss figures with Fathis. It has been a pleasure meeting you.“ Alix signaled Hannibal and he rose to leave.

“Uh, just one second before you go…I’d like to discuss something with you all that must be sworn to secrecy.�

Hassiri waited as each pounded their chest and raised their hands to face him.

“You have my vow of silence.� Each said in succession.

When all had sworn he spoke.

“The lad that knocked Agronak out tonight is Owyn’s nephew, Antoine Dodson.�

“That’s how he knew about Agronak!� Alix made a loud snapping sound with his fingers. “Oh you’re right Hassiri. Owyn would lose his position if it were known.�

“Antoine’s whole family relies on him since the father died. He came here looking for work, hoping to move his family out of that slum of Ocato’s. The other day he had to save his sister from a rapist that crawled in the window. He is sharp, quick thinking, hard working, and reliable. Here is the note from Owyn.� Hassiri handed the note to Fathis.

Fathis glanced at, then pocketed the illegible note. “I’m sure between us we can bring his family to safety and find employment for him.�

Hassiri cleared his throat. “Well…Antoine knocked Agronak out and his funny rhyme will be reported in tomorrows Special Edition…does that net him that two hundred Septims you were talking about Fathis? He wasn’t arrested, they thanked him for his help.�

“Of course! Send him to me when he rises, we‘ll see what work interests him…find a safe home for his family. Maybe his sister would like a scholarship at the Arcane as well…� Fathis pulled a book of cheques out.

“Tell me Fathis, is it true you and Maxical have an understanding of marriage?“ Hassiri held his pad up as he took the empty chair nearest Fathis. Alix and Hannibal stepped outside.









******* Hassiri

“Ra'jiradh, Urjabhi! Don’t roll that print yet, I want to add a few things to it. Wait till you hear this!�









******* Maxical


The sound of Owyn spewing his coffee and roaring woke me. I looked over at Gils, he shrugged and got up to see what it was about. Gils popped back in the door.

“Owyn‘s face was nearly purple. He had the Courier in his hands.�

“Is it me? Am I in trouble?“ I started pulling myself up.

“He stormed out the chute, he must be going to Jack’s office. I grabbed a copy while I was out there to see what it was all about.�

“It must not be me this time then.“

I stretched back out to get the last few minutes of sleep before the Bloodworks started humming with activity. Gils plopped back down on his mat to read it. He promptly broke into hysterics.

I rolled over. “What is it?�

“It says here that, according to Agronak you bullied poor Owyn and Andronicus into their criminal activity and that your temper is so bad that Agronak trembles in fear of you losing it.�

“Gils, you’re lying, it doesn’t say that.�

“I’m serious, look for yourself.�

“What? Let me see that!�

“No, you can’t bully me.� He waved the paper over me then jerked it back when I reached for it.

“Gils, give me that!�

“Oooo, I’m really scared!� Gils taunted.

“If I get up from here you will be sorry.�

“I’m trembling in fear!�

I flashed him the Arena sign for ‘I’m coming to get you’ and started getting up. Gils stuck the paper underneath him and flashed the sign for ‘come get me‘ then thumbed his nose at me.

“You think I can’t get you off that paper?�

“Bully! Don’t push me into a life of crime now.�

I acted like I was going to attack his upper quadrant so he put up his defenses and instead I dropped down on his legs and grabbed his feet. I tickled the bottoms of his feet till he squirmed off the paper and I grabbed it, running back to my mat.

“I’m telling Hassiri you bruised me.� Gils taunted.

I ignored him.

“Confessions of a Grand Champion! The Gray Prince reveals all? Oh no. Agronak has made himself sound really bad in this. Oh no! They are casting innuendo about Hannibal and me! …According to this Agronak said you are a sex maniac masquerading as a hero!�

“You’re lying.�

“No I’m not, I couldn‘t make that up.�

“Let me see.� Gils reached for the Courier.

“No.� I waved the paper over him and jerked it back when he reached for it.

“I’m going to do an interview and tell them how cruel you are to your teammates.�

“You’ll be able to tell them how you were decapitated.�

“I’m really scared!� Gils pretended to shake.

I flipped my hand in a smooth gesture and unsheathed just one claw, waving it at him.

Gils sat up. “Aw, that was impressive! Have you named it?�

“I showed it to you before, remember? It’s called the Khajiit Proctologist.“

“EW! How did you think up all these moves and names for them?�

“I was the only Khajiit at the Arcane, you can combat a whole lot of prejudice if you are entertaining.�

I sheathed it and went back to reading. “Do you think Agronak will be out of jail by the music festival? If he is, I hope he doesn’t show up and cause trouble at our promotion.�


*

This post has been edited by mALX: Aug 4 2016, 02:31 AM

Alix, Fathis, and Traven all in cahoots plotting the downfall of the Grey Prince. That (half) Orc is toast!! I think it would be great if Simplicia did the honors. Or perhaps S'Jirra, I imagine she would want a piece of Agronak for everything he has done to her beloved Maxical. I could just see her sitting on Agronak's fallen carcass with her legs crossed eating a slice of potato-bread!

This sounds like quite the scheme brewing!


Nice!

Good playful background action as Maxical and Gils teased the newspaper back and forth.

Edti: Oh, I've been remiss in not commenting that I'm quite enjoying the hints of cat-like behavior you are more and more weaving into our catwoman. Her tail gestures, shucking her shoes before a fight, flicking out one claw . . . . Bravo!

This post has been edited by Acadian: Sep 9 2010, 03:02 PM

Enjoyed all of this one- but I think my favorite moments were- the 3 recalling Simplicia when she was on the stage- and the "fight" over the newspaper- especially Maxical's new "move."

The banter between Gils and Maxical was brilliant. Like a pair of 12 year olds hahaha.

Smooth dialogue...you don't know how difficult it is to write it until you've tried, and failed, 1000 times.

See how natural MaLX's dialogue is? And yet if you or I were to try to do that, we would have to do at least five to fifty rewrites....

I am loving this! I am also loving what you have done with the BHC and Hannibal, awesome chapter! More, please? Please!?

@ Destri - Yeah!!!!! - You are back and posting more chapters!!! AWESOME !!!! Thank you so much!!!

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian!! I think the actions of Alix and S'Jirra will pan out to show that Maxical is def a product of her upbringing by them, lol. Definate similarities at any rate, lol.

Simplicia's effect on men - I can't remember now who it was my dad used to get foggy eyed over, but don't we all have someone we had a childhood crush on, and later when talking with friends and find out they did too - it happened to me not long ago at a female friends house, we ended up singing his songs and laughing about our crushes. I will never admit to anyone who it was!!!! NEVA!!!! Lol.

***
@ Treydog - Those were some of my favorites too, although I did like Hannibal and Fathis squabbling like only lifelong friends can - and it not effect their relationship one jot - that is something I tried to incorporate in this version a lot more than I did in the original. Thank you so much Treydog!!!

***
@ Remko - Thank you so much Remko!!! Gils and Maxical combined with Owyn - it is like matches, paper, and gasoline - but I just can't figure out which is which, lol. Either way, it is an explosive combination, they egg each other on.

***
@ Foxy - Thank you very much Foxy !!!!!! I found the first place Damien enters the story, I will send it to you. Dialogue that is real - is that because I have all those [censored] places? Lol - just kidding, thank you so much Foxy.

***
@ Hazmick - Thank you so very much Hazmick!! I really like Hannibal a lot in this version of the story too, I think I portrayed him a lot better this time - and I do like using the real guys from the Courier for the story - but that doesn't mean Treydog the Reporter can't come back for a scoop !!! Lol.

*








Chapter 43: Confessions Of A Grand Champion









Last night in a surprise visit to the offices of the Courier in which he gave an impromptu interview, the Gray Prince explained his actions in pressing charges against Blue Team Warrior Maxical, the albino Khajiit his name has been linked with in recent months. He asked that he speak on the record.

* Don’t miss today’s Special Edition with the arrest of the Grand Champion and details about particular physical issues known to be associated with the offspring of Orc mixes.

The Grand Champion began the interview by informing our staff that he is actually an Orc mix.

The Gray Prince: “I’m only half Orc you know. I’m really royalty, my father was a real Lord. I am actually a Prince.�

Staff: “Really? Who is your father?�

The Gray Prince: “Oh I don’t know who my father is. But I know he‘s a Lord, that‘s why I‘m called the Gray Prince.�

Staff: “Isn’t the Gray Prince just your Arena persona?�

The Gray Prince: “No! I chose that name because I am really royalty and wanted everyone to know it. Maxical is going to get me proof of it, but Owyn won‘t let her do it till Andronicus returns.�

Staff: “Due to your recent arrest of all three of these individuals, do you think they will still be willing to help you find your roots?�

The Gray Prince: “Maxical has to do it, she said she would. When I get proof I’m the son of a real Lord, the Palace will name the Arena after me, and probably a road too. You are invited to the naming ceremony.“

Staff: “You have a lot of fans already as the Grand Champion, do you think a title will make that much difference?�

The Gray Prince: “Of course it will! Everyone will have to kiss my [censored] [censored] then, fan or not!�





Rampant speculation about whether Maxical’s arrest was made in revenge, (as it occurred the day following the Khajiit’s blatant rejection of his marriage proposal), were confirmed to be true by the Grand Champion.

The Gray Prince: “She made a fool of me running after that perfumed pansy!�

* Readers may remember that the Gray Prince’s proposal was interrupted by Fathis Aren, Court Mage Castle Bravil who quite rightly challenged him for importuning his bride to be. Fathis then left, followed by Maxical in the correct Dunmeri tradition that dictates she stay three steps behind him as his intended. Due to her diminutive size this gave the appearance of running after Fathis.

In an interview with Fathis Aren early this morning, reporter Hassiri confirmed that a longstanding promise of marriage exists between Fathis and Maxical.

At this time the Courier would like to retract a few items which turned out to be inaccuracies in the same issue that the above incident was reported:

* Hamlof of the Red Diamond Jewelers was quoted as saying he witnessed the Grand Champion coercing Maxical into taking what Agronak claimed was a deed to his late mother’s house. Our reporter made a visit to the Office of Imperial Commerce yesterday and spoke with Vinicia Melissaeia for confirmation on this.

Vinicia denied any transactions existed other than the Grand Champion taking title to the house himself. It seems the Grand Champion was trying to pull a fast one on the white Khajiit.

* Another correction involves the ring Agronak was seen giving Maxical that same day. The Courier originally reported that ring as the one Maxical wears on her engagement hand. Although very similar in style, the ring on her engagement finger actually came from none other than the Arcane University’s Arch Mage Hannibal Traven. We had this correction from Arch Mage Traven himself, who also admits he has been to every one of Maxical‘s matches. Watch out Fathis Aren, it seems you have some competition.

** Note from Editor: Our jaws are still on the floor over this piece of news.

While at the Office of Imperial Commerce yesterday, Vinicia Melissaeia reminded us of an incident nineteen years ago that involved Agronak giving a ring to another engaged Khajiit outside the Courier office. Hassiri’s interview with Fathis Aren this morning gave us some long awaited information about that other incident.

* The (now) husband of that Khajiit disclosed to Fathis Aren that Agronak presented that ring in the guise of it being a behest from his late step-father whom she was very close to. Agronak had actually just bought the ring in question from Ris of the Red Diamond Jewelers.

* Fathis Aren then revealed that Agronak presented the ring to Maxical in the guise of a behest from his late mother, whom she was close to. Once again it turned out Agronak had purchased the ring from Ris. Sound familiar? It is.

In the interview the Grand Champion spoke freely about the ring he gave Maxical:

The Gray Prince: “You should try this, it works every time. You buy an expensive ring and give it to them in front of the press. Their fiance breaks with them when he reads about it. The girl flings the ring back at you when she finds out she was tricked. They may be mad but the other guy is gone now, and you have the ring back to sell. Get it? I thought of this trick on my own.�

Staff: “Aren’t both women still with these men?�

The Gray Prince: “…Oh. …Well…I… Oh! I didn’t get my ring back from Maxical yet either.� [Here Agronak fell into expletives] “I can’t get it from her right now, she was in a rage…�

The Gray Prince repeatedly expressed a dread fear of Maxical’s temper throughout the interview, responding several times with these words:

The Gray Prince: “I had to do it, or she’d be mad.�

Don’t let Maxical’s diminutive size, tail-play, or humor in the matches and interviews fool you, she is capable of extreme violence as this reporter has personally witnessed.

Maxical has received a stack of citations and no less than three warnings of imminent banning from the Arena by Attorney Jack Thompson since she began in the Arena that range from obscene and explicit hand gestures to the most recent ones for extreme and unnecessary violence in the beheading, disemboweling, and goring of her opponents.

Staff: “What you’re saying is that Maxical acts as ringleader and has used fear tactics to bully Owyn, Andronicus, and Haki into these criminal acts?�

* It should be noted that the Grand Champion became extremely agitated. His face took on the appearance of a hunted animal and he burst out of his chair before answering.

The Gray Prince: “No! This is all Gils fault! I‘ll kill him!�

Staff: “Are you referring to Blue Team Gladiator Gils?�

The Gray Prince: “Yes, it is all his doing! This is all his fault!�

* Both reporters felt his fear of the white Khajiit was causing him to cast blame on the Gladiator, who has an exemplary (if slow moving) reputation in the Arena. It became apparent as the interview progressed that the Gray Prince lives in terror of Maxical’s temper and possible retribution for speaking out.

Several times the Grand Champion countered his own statements by expressing a wish to continue his quasi friendship with the white Khajiit.


The Gray Prince: “I’m willing to put up with her inane chatter but not her singing! The only way to survive it is to smile while envisioning choking her into silence. No dancing either. And if she starts even one more sentence with ‘Fathis says’ I’m liable to strangle someone! As for her stubbornness, that can be dealt with after the marriage.�

Staff: “Did you say Marriage?�

The Gray Prince: “Yes, I still plan to marry her.�

Staff: “In spite of her engagement to Fathis Aren?�

The Gray Prince: “That decrepit old fop, he‘s old enough to have given birth to her grandfather.�

Staff: “Aren’t you worried Fathis Aren will make good on his challenge? He is an extraordinary Battlemage…�

* It should be noted that at this point the Grand Champion leaped from his chair shouting.

The Gray Prince: “Fathis! He is nothing but a Nancy, I‘m not afraid of him! Gils is the one I don’t trust! He is a [censored] sex maniac masquerading as a hero! And that [censored] [censored] Maxical is sleeping with Gils!�

* The Staff sends kudos to Gils for staying active in spite of his Arena career that slowed to a standstill years ago.

The staff noticed that the Gray Prince was carrying a rather large crate when he dropped in for this interview. The Grand Champion revealed that due to his recent actions in having all the Battlemasters arrested he has been banned from both team Bloodworks and is now homeless.


The Gray Prince: “I hope to stay in the homes of my fans. I know they will take pity on their hero in this situation and provide food and a bed so I don‘t suffer the effects of this mistreatment by the powers that be at the Arena. I admit it was a mistake to have them all arrested because the charges turned out to be faulty; but they didn‘t miss more than a day. You’d think they had been locked up for years the way they are acting.�

Staff: “Isn’t it true Andronicus has not been released yet?�

The Gray Prince: “Yeah, those [censored] dummies at the Elder Council said I might owe her when the accounting is in, and that she might have me charged with false arrest! Can you believe that? Me! The Grand Champion! A real Lord!�

Staff: “Is there anything else you would like to say?�

The Gray Prince: “I wanted to get the word out to all my fans in Cyrodiil that their hero is being mistreated. I am sure the second they hear of my difficulties they will come from all over to picket and protest. Those cretins will realize how important I am when my fans call for everyone to boycott the Arena. I am the Grand Champion, the Gray Prince. That Arena would be nothing without me, no one would even come to the matches without me there.�

We at the Courier encourage all fans of the Gray Prince to welcome him into your home, share a meal and offer him a night’s lodging. We did. Our Khajiit brethren are especially encouraged to participate if you are a fan. Our only advice would be to have plenty of food on hand and a large urn ready.






For some time now Fathis Aren and Maxical have been vying to purchase the Golden Armor on display in the Best Defense store. Our investigative team discovered that the “M� on the back plate of the cuirass was etched there by none other than the smithy at Castle Bravil Hans Black-Nail, who said his order for it came directly from Fathis Aren.

Some new names have been added to those jockeying to purchase the Golden Armor. Varnado confirms that Battlemaster Owyn of the Blue Team tried to obtain the armor using an advance on Box Office receipts.

Owyn then became involved in a heated discussion with Blue Team Gladiator Gils, who was overheard expressing the desire to have the funds to purchase it himself. (After the interview with the Grand Champion we are sure we know why).

Jack Thompson, Attorney for the Arena spoke in a closed door session with Varnado, who refused to reveal any details other than that Jack Thompson attempted to purchase the Golden Armor on behalf of an anonymous client. It was a tricky move, one would assume his client was Maxical due to his connection with the Arena, however it was discovered that he dined with Fathis Aren in his suite at the Merchants Inn the day before approaching the Best Defense.



Jack Thompson also won the bidding for the Mrs. Treydog portrait of the Golden Armor. The painting will be displayed on the Clubhouse Mezzanine Level of the Arena.

Varnado has raised the already extravagant marked price of the armor again. Those in the know say the price marked on the armor is actually the current high bid for it.



Have Arch Mage Traven, Owyn, and Gils been added to the list of those succumbing to the wiles of the white Khajiit? How many more indiscriminate affairs will she turn Cyrodiil upside down with before Fathis Aren reins her in with a ring of his own?








The Edition with the “Confessions of The Gray Prince� and the subsequent Late Edition that covered Agronak’s arrest were the two highest selling issues in the history of the Courier. Both printed on the same day. The Courier received accolades from Ocato for the coverage, although he was probably trying to garner favor with them after the article about the brutality of the guards.


*

This post has been edited by mALX: Aug 4 2016, 02:34 AM

BASS ADD NEWS

THE BASS ADD COURIER HAS DISCOVERED A SCOOP!!!
ECLOOOHOOOHOOOHOOOSIVE TO THE BASS ADD COURIER!!!


Readers of the BASS ADD COURIER *we are no relation to JIM COURIER though we DO too have a large TENNIS* will now be the first to discover that our very own MALX has discovered

THE FIRST PLACE DAMIEN ENTERS... the story!!!

THINK ABOUT IT!!! THE FULL STORY ON THE FIRST PLACE DAMIEN ENTERS!!!

Ohhh...the anticipation...

Will he enter from the EAST?
Will he enter from the WEST?
Will he enter from the NORTH?
Will he enter from the SOUTH???
Will he enter from the FRONT???
Will he enter from the BACK???

Will he cum with a SHOUT
Fling his arms and dance ABOUT???

Will he scream as he COMES
and violate some sexy NUNS???

ALL WILL BE REVEALED
IN THE STORY SEALED
IN THE NEXT EDITION OF THE BASS ADD COURIER!!!

SPEW !!!

Um, I’m thinking no.


Given his reputation, I would imagine Gils to be in better shape than most of the combatants in the Arena.


If that doesn’t make them come out in droves to offer Agronak a place to stay, I don’t know what will!

This special edition of the Courier certainly didn’t disappoint. Kudos to mALX for finding a way to make Agronak even more pathetic! It might not even be worth the effort to kill him now.

Arena Mgmt.: You killed him!

Maxical: So? It's the Arena!

Arena Mgmt.: Well, all right. But its the way you killed him.

M: I'm a Khajiit- I have claws.

A.M.: But the cost of cleaning the seats is getting prohibitive.

M: So you're saying I'm keeping the seats full? Then what's the problem?



This following immediately upon the heels of Agronak's accusation that Gils is a sex maniac---





Let's see- the only people Agronak did not manage to insult were the Blades and a few folks whose names he doesn't know... Of course, as the saying goes- "Give him time."

Awesome chapter! The BHC crew are brilliantly portrayed and I'm still laughing at their recommendation of Agronak as a house guest. yay!