Maxical has something in common with Mrs. Treydog! I once had to stop her from walking into traffic when she was eating a caramel apple.

The whole chapter, with Maxical being enchanted by Coco and then accidentally inciting the other monkeys, was brilliant. Why do I have a feeling that there is something more going on there...?

So what's all the fuss about? Why, I always knew our mALX had monkey DNA in her!!!

What? GAAAAAH !!!!

As do we all! After all, we share over 90% of our genome with our buddy the chimpanzee. Come to think of it, that explains a lot of things . . .

And here I always thought hairy knuckles came from.........

This post has been edited by mALX: Oct 24 2010, 04:40 AM

And here EYE was thinking hairy knuckles was the halfwit brother of harry potter!!!

You were only half right...

@ Naughty Haute - Thank you so much Haute!!!



SPEW! ROFL !!!! I laughed every time I saw this since you posted it!!!

Oh, I see what you mean about the clinics - the vet I worked for had a trailer near the racetrack to stock up on equipment without going all the way back to his house - it was broken into frequently, and the insurance companies quit covering it after so many claims.

***
@ Trey dog - I actually do have a weakness for carnival treats, candy apples, caramel apples, cotton candy, etc. ARGH! Don’t let Mrs. Treydog walk into traffic over them though!!!!

I was very tempted on these monkeys, and even looked up on the internet for pics of fat monkeys…but couldn’t find one I liked well enough yet to make Maxical a monkey pet, ROFL !!!!! All the obese monkey sites had were blonde spider monkeys…

Thank you so much Trey dog !!!!

***
@ Foxy - ARGH!!!! Thank you so much Foxy !!!

***
@ Foxy/Haute/Foxy/Haute - ARGH !!!!

*


Chapter 65: The Great Ape Rebellion


That these men had fought together before was obvious by the teamwork they displayed when they cornered me in the chute. The spell to frighten them must have expired, their movements changed…separating, positioning to converge from all directions like wolves do to take down large prey.

The prisoner closest to me was running in a zigzag pattern, trying to get far enough away to circle back and get behind me. Cat’s vision is based on movement, it was easy to time one of his zags and leap forward. I grabbed his tail with my claws to hold on, then drove my sword into his back just above his right hip.

While he staggered bellowing I grabbed his tail again, this time thrusting my blade through his neck in one swift movement, severing the main arteries. The blood that shot out of him in pulsing streams was an odd greenish-orange color. Like an idiot I gaped at it instead of getting into position for the next battle.

A powerful blow from behind staggered me, surprising a whimper from me. I ran blindly away from the direction the hit came from, unable to see through the patterns of bursting stars floating in my vision from the hit. A loud shriek followed by screams and a scuffling sounded behind me as I ran.

My sword crunched against a stone abutment a split second before I crashed into the structure, nearly dislodging the blade from my hand. I gripped the hilt tightly and pushed myself around so my back was pressed against the stone, moving my sword in a defensive pattern in front of me while I waited for my vision to clear. Where are they?

A good sized knot had already formed on the back of my head from the prisoner’s fist, every pulse in my veins made that place throb till nausea began welling up into my throat. If I didn’t know the prisoners were searched before matches, I’d suspect him of using brass knuckles on me. The darkness hedging my vision began receding, giving me a tunnel-like view of the Arena floor through the flashes of light still floating across.

As my vision cleared I saw one of the prisoners running across the Arena followed by a bunch of monkeys. No longer the cute little beasts in a cage, they now had their lips drawn back revealing mouthfuls of sharp teeth and canine type fangs. They pounded their fists on the ground and their chests, barking and whooping as they chased the prisoner. Pork Chop was in a frenzy, charging around his pen and grunting loudly.

How can we fight with beasts in here? Will they call the match? I glanced up, Jack was leaning over watching from his vantage chair.

Where was the other prisoner? I moved along the wall glancing into alcoves. Where did he go? The prisoner running from the monkeys was coming my way, the look of terror on his face was worse than what my ‘Eye of Khajiit’ caused. I stayed in the alcove till he got closer and then charged out.

He skidded to a stop when he saw me. The monkeys leaped onto his back and head, shrieking loudly. The prisoner let out a high-pitched scream that sounded like a girl. He twisted, trying to shake them off as a dark spot began staining the front of his sackcloth pants. He was peeing himself! He dropped to the ground and began rolling and screaming, trying to get the monkeys off him. The prisoner’s pants had a matching stain in the back, a large circle of brown…dear gods, he crapped himself!






***


The sounds of screaming and panic were still coming from the stands, there must be apes loose up there too. These monkeys had begun tugging on the Argonian’s legs and tail, and grabbing the spikes sticking out of his head. They didn’t appear to be hurting him, but his fear of the beasts was so great that he was screaming horribly.

What if the monkeys attacked me next? If I got injured out here today there would be no crowd cheering me to bring my adrenalin back up…no Cage Match. Why wasn’t Jack stopping the fight? I glanced up, he was still watching without signaling. What is he waiting for?

How could I fight a man wallowing on the ground? That wouldn’t be a fight, it would be a slaughter. Where had the other prisoner gone? Had he escaped in the melee following the monkeys getting loose? I did a grid search of the Arena floor, he was absolutely not there at all. As I was passing a chute gate, a familiar sound caught my ear. I glanced up, spotting a tiny red figure climbing around the top bar of the gate.

“Coco!� I reached my arm up.

Coco made a chattering sound and leaped off the gate, landing on my shoulder. He was trembling and clutched my hair tightly. Jack leaned over, his eyes nearly starting from his head in surprise when Coco jumped on me.

Jack shook his head no when I shrugged at him. Drat! How could he not call the fight? Did he expect me to get the monkeys off the prisoner so he would fight? These other monkeys were a lot larger than Coco, would it be safe to draw their attention to me?

“Here monkey, monkey, monk…here monkeys…� I made a kissing sound with my mouth. The one that rubbed my arm earlier came when I made that sound, at least I think it was him. What should I do now? I glanced around, then stretched my hand toward it. Where were the handlers?

The monkey grabbed hold of my arm and swung itself up onto my back, wrapping its arms around my neck tightly and clinging like that. Coco climbed atop my head, still clutching tufts of my hair to hold on.

I kicked the prisoner in the leg. “Get up! Jack is refusing to end the fight. I’ve got two monkeys on me too, let’s get this over with.�

He just lay there screaming. “GAAAAAAAH!�

“Shut up! Will you stand up so we can fight?� I kicked him again. The other monkeys began kicking him and chattering.

“GAAAAAH! BWAAAAAA!�

“Shut up! You’re ticking me off, now get up…good gods your crap stinks, what have you been eating?�

I glanced up at Jack again, he still wasn’t calling the match. As I was lowering my head a slight movement on one of the pillars caught the corner of my eye. The other prisoner! He had climbed to the top of one of the pillars in the center of the Arena. So that’s why Jack hadn’t called the fight!









***


I called up to Jack, pointing to the top of the pillar. Jack nodded. The monkeys thought I had signaled them. They leaped down off my back and began shimmying up the column. With loud shrieking and some last thumps and kicks on the Argonian, the other monkeys followed suit climbing up the pillars.

“The monkeys are gone now, you can get up. Come on!� I kicked the prisoner again. I can’t kill you while you lay there…man, will you just get up so I can kill you? How’d you ever make it in prison?�

The prisoner refused to get up and fight. I shrugged at Jack again, pointing to the pillar where the other prisoner was hiding. Coco and the other monkey had climbed onto his back and were jumping up and down on him and shrieking, their arms raised up in the air. The prisoner was curled in a ball, keeping his head covered.

Jack signaled Wes, who called out a warning to Haki. His combatants were ordered to fight or Haki would forfeit the match. Haki came bellowing out of his chute, cursing his men. I gasped; he’s not allowed out here during a match! He kicked the one on the ground several times, shouting. The man wouldn’t get up.

Haki‘s face turned purple. He ordered the one on the pillar to come down. When that prisoner didn’t budge Haki gave Jack the signal requesting permission to substitute one fighter for another. After all this he was going to bring the Orc out on me? I watched Jack closely, pleading. He shook his head no. Thank goodness!

Haki was livid and tried to climb the pillar to dislodge his fighter. The monkeys saw him coming. Their jumping and shrieking became frenzied. Then they began throwing something at Haki, hitting him in the face. The stench left no doubt what it was.

“Oh you [censored] [censored] [censored]! I’ll kill you, you little [censored] [censored] [censored]!� Haki’s curses echoed loudly off the stone walls of the Arena.

I raised my eyebrows at Jack, he gave me citations for cussing out here! The larger monkey threw another piece of feces at Haki. Jack’s lips quirked slightly as he signaled Wes Johnson to call the match and what infractions to name.

The grandstand and mezzanine were almost completely empty. Wes Johnson‘s voice echoed back oddly out of them as I waited for him to give me permission to leave the Arena floor.

“Match called! Yellow Team forfeit! Three citations: combatant refusing to fight, two counts; foul language; unauthorized personnel: Battlemaster Haki. Good people, we have a winner! All hail the combatant from the Blue Team! Victor from the Blue Team, congratulations! You have advanced to the rank of Gladiator! Leave the Arena now and rest, you've earned it!�

Owyn was dancing around hooting and laughing when I got back inside the Bloodworks. “I can’t wait till Haki shows his face next! BWAAAHAAA! Monkey [censored] in his face, having to forfeit the match, three citations! BWAAAHAAA!�

Everyone on the Blue team crowded around for Owyn’s version of a rank promotion ceremony. He poured himself a brandy and passed the bottle around for everyone to pour themselves a cup.

I tagged Andronicus’s arm as she pulled up a chair to listen to the details of the fight. “One of them [censored] and [censored] his pants out there.�

“BWAAAAHAAAA!� Everyone roared.

I glanced at Gils and he smiled at me. My damned heart betrayed me by missing a beat.

Owyn raised his snifter to me. “I’m proud of you for keeping your mind on the fight with all that going on, [censored] wild beasts. It’ll be tonight before you get your belt, they closed the Arena to capture them …but for right now…here’s to you, Gladiator. He drained his snifter.

“Here, here!� The rest of the team shouted, then drained their cups of brandy. I watched Gils drink his, dreading the weakness in me that craved the scent of his breath when it was laced with that brandy.











***


Jack scowled as he handed me my Gladiator belt. What had I done?

“What was the idea of sending Owyn up here to lock me in my office and yell at me for over half an hour? Shouting about the prisoners then signaling me no each time I mentioned getting Haki in to change…�

“We had to so Haki would think we didn’t want the prisoners. Otherwise he would have switched back to the Orc, and I can’t fight Orc.�

“And you didn’t think telling me that in my office good enough? Owyn locking me in here yelling nearly made me mad enough to call Haki in and order him to switch back to the Orc! And that healing potion joke!�

“That was no joke, I thought Owyn’s yelling may cause your head to ache…�

“It did! From now on, if you tell me you can’t fight someone…trust me to handle it! You ever send Owyn to me like that again and I’ll make sure Haki brings an Orc to the fight. Why do you think he changed from the Orc at the last minute?�

“What? I don’t understand…�

“I reminded him of the trouble Agronak caused you…and then told him the truth, that you took the challenge as soon as you heard he had posted an Orc. He left here with the impression you relished the idea of revenge on any Orc. He made a hurried trip to the jail to get those prisoners at the last minute.�

“You did that for me?�

“No. I do that for any fighter that comes to me as you did and says outright that they can’t fight a certain one. The fights are geared to be fair, not slaughters. Next time put your trust in me to handle it. Don’t involve me if you’re resorting to tricks. Did you pay Owyn?�

“Twenty-five Septims.�

“Consider it a lesson.�

“I will. I‘m sorry.�

“That monkey fiasco, was that another trick?�

“No! I had nothing to do with that!�

“They came right to you.�

“I have fur…they must have thought I was kin. Jack, I was nowhere near…the cage was very light and tipped…�






***


I slept well that night, but Gils’ hysterical laughter woke me early the next morning. He shoved the Courier under my nose, pointing to the headlines.

“Ape Woman! Oh!� I snatched the paper.

“And look at these drawings…� Gils pointed to page two.

“Oh dear gods…�

The page heading read, “Maxical’s Monkeyshines.� They were little cartoons. One was of me with a monkey sitting on my head and another monkey clinging to my neck, my sword thrust forward as I yelled “Charge“…an army of angry monkeys behind me ready to do battle for me…oh dear gods.

The next was of me swinging on the chute gate, a group of monkeys standing on the ground watching and scratching their heads as if I was teaching them how…

The next drawing showed me dancing atop the gate with a long row of monkeys behind me obviously imitating my dance.

The next cartoon showed me kicking a man on the ground. The monkeys all stood watching me, their hands to their chins like they were thinking. They all had studious looks on their faces…like I was teaching them how to kick someone.

Another showed me standing on the gate, hands raised to the sky with little circles showing movement…the bubble in front of my mouth said “Ooh ooh.� All the pillars had two monkeys each on them, imitating me with their hands up in the air circling - but they were speaking words! “Hey Joe, where’re we going next?� Another monkey answers, “Bruma.� Another monkey says “Pack a coat, I hear it’s cold there.� Another monkey asks when the fight will be over…another says, “I’m hungry, did you bring any fruit?� …Oh dear gods how humiliating!



*

This post has been edited by mALX: Aug 4 2016, 04:40 AM

Good to find out Jack tries to run a fair- um, murderous, savage, brutal, blood-letting establishment... Wait, that didn't come out right.

The monkeys were (of course) another bit of inspired mALX madness, as was the BHC.

Loved the cartoons! Of course, the monkeys came out smarter than our Maxical! Actually, cats and monkeys have quite a bit in common. I used to call my Siamese cross a little spider monkey because she was all legs and big eyes, especially when climbing the carpet-covered support pillar in our basement apartment. They do share the same sense of mischief!

The entire scene in the Arena was even better than the previous one!

Chapter 63: Negotiating Chaos

I hope that I can be forgiven for thinking that maybe Jack and Owyn have had enough of our favorite albino Khajiit if they are so quick to thrust her into the Arena with someone who ‘obviously’ outranks her. It is my experience that a fighter returning to the ring after a long absence is not usually pitted against superior competition. Could there be something else afoot?

A nit:
At the end of this chapter Maxical says that Andronicus ‘waved me out’ of the room. You then detail a brief exchange between Andronicus and Jack. You should probably put something in there about Maxical being able to hear their conversation after she left the room.

Chapter 64: Monkey Business


Or is he a Tang ‘Mo from Akavir’s Thousand Monkey Isles. One of the race of gentle, peaceful and intelligent folk cast into cruel slavery for the amusement of the crowds in Cyrodiil?

Chapter 65: The Great Ape Rebellion


For some reason this reminds me of the classic line from Dr. Strangelove: There's no fighting in the War Room!

Not ‘they put me in here with a weaponless prisoner whose crime might not have been more than spitting on the sidewalk, and they expect me to execute him.’ There is a definite dark side to Maxical’s humor that is manifested here. She seems to take great pride in disemboweling people who are in no position to fight back.

@ Treydog - Thank you so much Treydog!!! The monkeys in the story the last couple chapters actually were a last minute inspiration, but I loved the addition - if I could draw, I would have done the cartoons instead of just describing them, lol. You ROCK!

***
@ Naughty Haute - Thank you so very much Haute!!! Those cartoons were about my favorite part of that chapter, I'm so glad someone other than me liked them, lol.

We bought carpet and covered all the corners of walls in our house (like you did with the pillar) - just to keep the cat from clawing the wood. It looks like hell, but the cat loves it! You are exactly right, that cat comes running and leaps at the carpet, climbing up to the top (making a 'merroow' sound)

***
@ Destri - Thank you so much Destri !! And thanks for the nit, I fixed it.

Er, they didn't force the fight on her, but offered her an opportunity to jump one rank without fighting her way up. She could have turned it down.

She chose to do it because the Cage Match coming up pays a percentage of the Box Office Receipts and that percentage is based on the rank of the fighter - she wanted to gain rank for the bigger take.

The above was just part of my storyline. The other thing you mentioned is actually all strictly the game itself - Bethesda wrote the Argonian prisoner fight - I just added monkeys to it.

Here is how Bethesda set up that quest:

The three Argonian prisoners in that fight (according to Bethesda) are ranked above the player, have respectable hand-to-hand skills, and their AI is set to box in the player and gang up on them. Bethesda warns the player to stay away from the walls; and advises to hit and run, taking down one prisoner at a time to keep them from doing that to you.

The prisoners are not forced to participate, they are offered freedom if they win at the Arena. They choose to participate - it is not part of their sentence.




I tried to find a place where she took great pride in killing any of the prisoners, I'm missing it somehow - I didn't write it to come across that way. If it did appear that way to the reader, I need to re-write that segment.

Being in no position to fight back -

These are three men skilled in hand-to-hand combat. They work as a team like a wolf pack would, ganging up on the one player to take them down. In game my character was staggered several times by their hits, every one of those hits came from (the two men behind her) while she fought the third man.

She is alone, a small statured female. Her only advantage is her sword. It is standard practice for the player to pick off and eliminate one man at a time in a situation like that.

Maxical did everything possible to keep from killing the man wallowing on the ground - searched for the other prisoner, kept looking at Jack to stop the fight - even drew the monkeys away from him so he could stop freaking out. It obviously bothered her to kill that one.

Bottom line is, you are in the Arena to kill your opponent, and they are there to kill you. It is about survival. In game, Owyn tells you when you go in that there are no rules, just get out of there alive.

** I am not a huge fan of the Arena questline, but always do it to build up my character's combat skills (and earn Septims early in the game).

This post has been edited by mALX: Oct 26 2010, 05:30 PM

Just when I thought you COULDN'T invent something new, you do...


... I learn something new every day.

Monkey Business! How absolutely brilliant, and yet, when you look at the story - how natural!! I was in stitches....I still have sore ribs...

Just imagine the humiliation of Haki!!!

having to get monkey feces in the face...

(by the way, all this is the result of ...he who shall not be named who started our mALX'xxx imagination off on mentioning feces)

...

Thank you so much Foxy !!! I am tickled you are aching from laughing at it, lol. - and 'he who shall not be named' bringing feces up - yes, definate inspiration for the feces in the face! I couldn't resist that, what good is having monkeys in your story if no one gets hit with monkey feces?

I can't let you or Maxical get away with this. She may be alone, and she may be of small stature. But she is also a newly minted Gladiator, armed with a sword, against three oponents who are unarmed and cowering before her (or were they cowering before the monkeys? ). I didn't mean for my comments to sound harsh. I was merely struck by the blase attitude that Maxical takes toward the killing of others in the Arena. I suppose that when one is immersed in it, it might be easy to loose one's perspective.


Since I have been named, I know that you aren't referring to me. But I must share partial blame for reintroducing the 'f' word a few posts ago. Mea (most enjoyable) Culpa!

She doesn't become a Gladiator till she wins the match. She is ranked well below these men.

The one that was wallowing on the ground was also the one that just knocked her in the head so hard she saw stars for quite some time - (and he hit her from behind).

These men were not helpless:

An expert in hand-to-hand doesn't need weapons, or fear them. They have both forward and backward power attacks that can disarm an opponent with one hit, can knock an opponent down and leave them stunned, disarm with just a block, and are capable of damaging ghosts.

...master level hand-to-hand can paralyze with just a block.


Anyway, the story was just meant to be funny. If it bothered you, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I think you are awesome and respect your opinion highly.

I LOVED the scene where Maxical met the monkeys and was so fascinated by them - that was pure Maxical at her best!

The fight was quite the circus, well, except for the blood and other body fluids and almost beheadings. Very clever indeed how you revealed that old Jack was actually trying to look out for Maxical, despite the plotting of her and Owyn. I love that Maxical's plotting in this case didn't exactly work out the way she planned. It is nice sometimes when you highlight her delicious imperfections. Well done!

This post has been edited by Acadian: Oct 27 2010, 12:03 AM

Thank you so much Acadian !!! The coco the monkey scene - I just planned to have her see the monkey dancing and got carried away with the theme. Oh well, lol. My favorite part of that chapter was the BHC cartoons at the end of the chapter, I wish I had the talent to have drawn them as cartoons instead of just describing them. You ROCK !!!!

@ EVERYONE - I think highly of Destri and value his opinion greatly. Therefore, I have rewritten the whole previous chapter.

(if anyone wants to scan it for nits, I'd appreciate it greatly).


This post has been edited by mALX: Oct 27 2010, 06:15 AM