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Teresa of the Faint Smile, Adventures of a Stringy Bosmer |
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Linara |
Nov 19 2010, 07:20 PM
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Agent
Joined: 25-September 10
From: Bruma, in a book.

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QUOTE(D.Foxy @ Nov 19 2010, 10:13 AM)  LINARA HAS A DOUBLE BARRELLED D....K????  :jawdrop: No, a black and white Khajiit This post has been edited by Linara: Nov 21 2010, 09:39 PM
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mALX |
Nov 19 2010, 08:19 PM
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Ancient

Joined: 14-March 10
From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN

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QUOTE(SubRosa @ Nov 19 2010, 01:23 PM)  I am sure she means her vagina.
That's Regina in polite company...er... QUOTE GAAAAAAG !!!! BLEAH !!!! ** mALX puked on her keyboard... ** QUOTE(Linara @ Nov 19 2010, 01:20 PM)  QUOTE(D.Foxy @ Nov 19 2010, 10:13 AM)  LINARA HAS A DOUBLE BARRELLED D....K????  :jawdrop: Yes, as well as a black and white Khajiit  SPEW!!! Hello Carrot Top !!!! Where's Destri? Now that's taking androgyny to a whole new level !!! This post has been edited by mALX: Nov 19 2010, 08:25 PM
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ureniashtram |
Nov 19 2010, 08:58 PM
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Knower

Joined: 12-October 09
From: The River Acheron to the Gates of Hell.

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jdsfhweufhsdfjnsdfnsdufhwbgf fshfusdhofsdfhusdofhsd
Oh, I'm sorry. I was cleaning my keyboard (don't ask what it is I'm cleaning) because SOME INTERACTIONS above this post made me lose my midnight snacks.
So much for ordering that beef-encrusted cheesecake specifically for my needs...
Anyway, the fight scene was simply astounding. Good thinking for Teresa to lure the bandit into the waters to drown. And then, the bandit got pierced by a lance
Hmm, lance and piercing.
Y'know, my subconsious tells me that there's a hidden meaning behind those words and that I should be disgusted with myse- . . . Never mind.
This post has been edited by ureniashtram: Nov 19 2010, 08:59 PM
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Djinn: What wish would you like to have, young master? Random dude: SUPA POWAZ! -- Djinn: Is there anything I could make true, lord? Old guy: .. Youth and charisma. -- Djinn: Your heart speaks of wanting. I could make it true, milord. Me: Hmmm. I wish to know what I want. Then you could hook me up in some insidious deal, spirit.
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Destri Melarg |
Nov 20 2010, 12:53 AM
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Mouth

Joined: 16-March 10
From: Rihad, Hammerfell

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QUOTE Here's one "When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset . . . people DIE!" QUOTE mALX: From here on out half of Teresa's dialogue will have to be bleeped, due to Tony Montoya playing her role. Wrong Tony I believe. Mel Novak played a character named Tony Montoya in the Chuck Norris film, An Eye for an Eye. Al Pacino played Tony Montana in the movie Scarface. It wasn’t until I was exhausted from running with Teresa that I finally remembered this chapter. The opening is completely different (or maybe that is just my imagination). Following Teresa’s thought process as she adopts and discards various battle tactics is just as harrowing as I remember. This time the foe that she faces seems more terrifying. I was thankful for the appearance of the legionary and his lance (Oops! I think I just joined Linara in the ‘ what possessed me to say THAT?’ section of this forum!). QUOTE(haute ecole rider @ Nov 19 2010, 09:57 AM)  Just one thing I would like to clarify: just how close was Teresa to the bandit when that lance hit him? I can see this being very dangerous for her, since the impact of the lance with the momentum of a galloping horse behind it would send him flying. If she's close enough, she would have been hit by his body, or knocked into the path of the horse. On first read, that is the impression I have.
I believe that the legionary rode between Teresa and the marauder: QUOTE Then the rider was galloping between the Teresa and the marauder, drawing the lance tip out behind him as he broke away. When the lance struck home the marauder was forced away from Teresa, not toward her (at least, that is how I understood it). QUOTE(mALX @ Nov 19 2010, 11:19 AM)  QUOTE(Linara @ Nov 19 2010, 01:20 PM)  QUOTE(D.Foxy @ Nov 19 2010, 10:13 AM)  LINARA HAS A DOUBLE BARRELLED D....K????  :jawdrop: Yes, as well as a black and white Khajiit  SPEW!!! Hello Carrot Top !!!! Where's Destri? Now that's taking androgyny to a whole new level !!! 
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SubRosa |
Nov 20 2010, 01:04 AM
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Ancient

Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds

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QUOTE(Destri Melarg @ Nov 19 2010, 06:53 PM)  I believe that the legionary rode between Teresa and the marauder: QUOTE Then the rider was galloping between the Teresa and the marauder, drawing the lance tip out behind him as he broke away. When the lance struck home the marauder was forced away from Teresa, not toward her (at least, that is how I understood it). The original version was kind of vague. I went back and tweaked that part after Haute's post, to make the positions more clear. I am glad it came out how I wanted it this time. This post has been edited by SubRosa: Nov 20 2010, 01:04 AM
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haute ecole rider |
Nov 20 2010, 01:36 AM
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Master

Joined: 16-March 10
From: The place where the Witchhorses play

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Just re-read the part I was questioning earlier. Much, much better, especially this: QUOTE Teresa moved as well, stepping closer to the marauder, but not so close that she would get in the path of the oncoming horse. Yes, that is exactly what I was wondering on the first read-through. The rewrite does well to clarify Teresa's position relative not only to the marauder but also the horse.
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Acadian |
Nov 20 2010, 02:30 AM
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Paladin

Joined: 14-March 10
From: Las Vegas

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Heartpoundingly excellent! Great pace and build up to a crunchingly satisfying conclusion! I congratulate Teresa for a couple things: 1. Her decision to run for the water. I believe that might have been able to save her had the Legion not arrived in time. 2. Her quick thinking to help the Legion rider while staying out of the way. The purpose and timing of her flare spell was excellent. Teresa, you really need to get Morcant to start your conjuration training. I'm worried about you out there without the ability to summon some help. I know you may have to start with rats, but before you know it, you will be able to call forth a wolf to help. Perhaps with enough practice even a lion, or - dare I say it - a brown bear? 
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Linara |
Nov 20 2010, 03:07 AM
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Agent
Joined: 25-September 10
From: Bruma, in a book.

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QUOTE (Oops! I think I just joined Linara in the ‘what possessed me to say THAT?’ section of this forum Thank goodness I'm not the only one!
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D.Foxy |
Nov 20 2010, 08:43 AM
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Knower

Joined: 23-March 10

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Verlox |
Nov 21 2010, 02:49 AM
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Evoker
Joined: 16-March 10
From: Austin, Texas

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Ah, a heroic and manly rescue! I am most entertained!
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My loaf of bread brings all the ladies to the yard
"A brutish man cannot know, a fool cannot understand this: Though the wicked sprout like grass, though all evildoers blossom, it is only that they may be destroyed forever. But you are exalted, O Lord, for all time" -Psalms 92:7-9
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treydog |
Nov 21 2010, 02:55 AM
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Master

Joined: 13-February 05
From: The Smoky Mountains

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QUOTE Yet Teresa's arms did not tremble as she raised her bow, nor did she hasten as she smoothly pulled it to half tension, expelled half the air in her lungs, and took aim. Outside the context of all we know of Teresa, this seems unremarkable. But when we remember how she started, this sentence speaks volumes about the changes she has experienced. QUOTE The seconds seemed to crawl by like hours as the scene unfolded in front of Teresa's eyes. She could see clods of loose dirt and blades of grass being kicked up behind the horse's hooves, while droplets of spittle flew from its mouth. The steel point of the legionary's spear flashed silver in the light of the sun, while the long, jagged sword of the outlaw glinted red. The marauder was moving now, stepping slightly to one side and raising his longsword. The rider's lance moved with him, its point ever facing the bandit's heart. Every now and then, there is a passage that is just so perfect, you have to hold it up and admire its beauty. The excellent tactical use of the Flare reminds me of J.B. Books in The Shootist talking about how he survived so many gun battles- "I found most men aren't willing, they bat an eye, or draw a breath before they shoot. I won't." In this case, Teresa creates the perfect distraction- the hesitation that seals the marauder's fate. Nit: QUOTE She realized that was never going to stop him in a fight. I think a pronoun went missing in action here- “She realized that she was…”
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The dreams down here aren't broken, nah, they're walkin' with a limp...
The best-dressed newt in Mournhold.
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