Here is mine, add yours !!!


Never eat Chinese Sweet and Sour Chicken while the odor of your wet dog is drifting up from below the table.


*

This post has been edited by mALX: Feb 14 2011, 06:35 PM

Never place a vase of roses on a table where a cat can get to it!

********************

I should have known that the vase wasn't safe. I should have waited until my better half was about to be home.
Shoulda, coulda, woulda......

Someone won't be happy tonight, lol.

Are you kidding me? I fixed that right up post haste! My fee-on-say was quite pleased.

This post has been edited by TheOtherRick: Feb 17 2011, 02:11 PM

Smart move, lol. Glad she was pleased !!

once when I was 10, my parents made me try the new flavour of ice cream they made, peanut butter.

loved it, had a whole bowl full. 5 minutes later i'm being rushed to the emergency ward with a severe allergic reaction.

I didnt have ice cream again untill I was 13!

The first thing Alabama drivers do when they purchase a vehicle is snap that annoying stick off of the left side of the steering column.

------------------------------

I swear that maybe 10% of the drivers here signal their turns...

Never EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER...

Fall into temptation and eat chicken withOUT oil. In fact, Never In Your Life, eat chicken without cooking it. The moment I popped a piece into my mouth, made a bold move of ACTUALLY CHEWING IT and swallowed it quickly..

Let's just say that I felt like complete idiot the moment after.
----------

Silly, you only have so many hands. I mean your right hand is for changing radio stations and drinking coffee, your knees are for working the steering wheel and you need your left hand to hold the cell phone to your ear. What are you supposed to work that silly turn thingie with?

Seriously now, Mrs Acadian is very diligent about signaling her turns. She is currently visiting some of our family in Perth, Australia where they of course drive on the left side of the road. Their cars naturally are set up for that. On the right side of the steering column on our daughter's car is the turn indicator. On the left side is the windshield wiper controls. Yep, being the diligent creature of habit that she is, Mrs Acadian is reliably turning those wipers on every time she gets ready to make a turn.

If you are accessible, a cat WILL sit on the book you are reading without fail.

Very very true! Book, newspaper, magazine...it matters not. One of mine thinks my keyboard is his own personal foot massager.

When you are about to do something daring, funny, acrobatic of similar NEVER utter the words "Hey guys check this out", this will make sure that your attempt to be awesome will turn into fail of epic proportions (top ten on failblog at least).

Yes I can testify to this, I had a bike, a lot of friends (one with a video cam) and a long set of stairs. long story short, five month hospital stay with a total of eleven broken bones and nine fractures.

@ Grif11 - Better watch peanut butter too!

***
@ TheOtherRick - That 10% that is using the signal probably have over large endowments (male or female does not matter) and it is bumping the turn signal when they turn their head to look which way they are about to turn.

***
@ Ureniashtram - GAAAAAH !!! Never eat raw chicken - salmonella city !!! GAAAAK !!!

***
@ Acadian - ROFL !!! Poor Mary !!! You have spilled her secret.

***
@ King Coin - Try playing a card game. If they don't lay down ontop the cards, they run into the center of them and spin, throwing them everywhere. - Good one !!!

***
@ TheOtherRick - I was going to mention keyboards, but saw you had beat me to it, lol.

***
@ Tellie - Oh Tellie you are SOOOOO right about this !!! Bless your heart for being hurt, I hope you recooperated well !!!

The toothbrush was invented in Alabama...because if it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Actually, my son did lose a tooth after moving to Ala, but the military did that to him... and although during football season we have several crude jokes regarding specifically (the Crimson Tide or Crimson Tide Cheerleaders...or both) - other than that I cannot sling [censored], lol.

ROFL....I am picturing an Austrailian motorcycle cop writing a ticket while Mrs. Acadian's wipers are slappin' away...

Indicators are awkward, I'm sure that's why people here use them after they've turned so they can pay attention during the manouver.

I have two motorbikes. One is Japanese so has the gears on the left foot and brake on the right, the other is an old can-am and has the gears on the right and the brake on the left... This leads to fun of a similar variety.

"What was that streak that just flew by?"

"That was Olen. OLEN! BRAKES ARE ON THE RIGHT ON THAT BIKE !!!!"

Like switching from a manual shift vehicle with a clutch pedal- which I almost exclusively drive- to an automatic.

It is late- you are getting ready to make that left turn- take left foot and slam pedal on the left ALL the way to the floor.

Remove forehead from windshield and remember- "OH. That's the BRAKE!"

"SCREEEEEECH...BAM!!"