This what-I didn’t-hear talk has sent me down memory lane.

So one fine day some time ago I headed to the local home improvement store accompanied by Grits the Youngest. This was when she had reached the age of curly-haired, doe-eyed, dimpled cuteness, right before we uncovered her true diabolical nature. We arrived at that golden hour when all of the contractor types have realized they forgot something, and they are standing in the paint aisle looking all manly. So there’s Grits, irredeemably blonde, sipping coffee from a large pink and green polka dotted cup, and carrying a massive, equally polka dotted handbag that a friend bought me as a joke. The purse has a huge pink bow, and Grits the Youngest is also decked out in all shades of pink. My point is, we stand out. A little. We reached our target area in the paint aisle, but I had to take a moment to check out the scenery. In a staid, old married lady way, of course. Grits the Youngest asks what we are looking for.

“Caulk,” I tell her absently, trying to look out the corner of my eye. Mmmm.

“Caulk!” she pipes in her little kid voice. The men around me visibly flinch.

“That’s a funny word. Caulk!” she continues. My mind quit working when I started checking out the guys, plus I might have inhaled some coffee at this point. So my reaction time is slow.

“Caulk, caulk, caulk! I love to say caulk.”

I don’t have a free hand to put over her mouth. “Stop saying caulk,” I hiss.

“Why?” she starts, but by then I have decided to cut and run. I guess she followed me, because we still have her.

It is clear that your youngest sister has the spiritual DNA of Foxy in her.

This what-I didn’t-hear talk has sent me down memory lane.

So one fine day some time ago I headed to the local home improvement store accompanied by Grits the Youngest. This was when she had reached the age of curly-haired, doe-eyed, dimpled cuteness, right before we uncovered her true diabolical nature. We arrived at that golden hour when all of the contractor types have realized they forgot something, and they are standing in the paint aisle looking all manly. So there’s Grits, irredeemably blonde, sipping coffee from a large pink and green polka dotted cup, and carrying a massive, equally polka dotted handbag that a friend bought me as a joke. The purse has a huge pink bow, and Grits the Youngest is also decked out in all shades of pink. My point is, we stand out. A little. We reached our target area in the paint aisle, but I had to take a moment to check out the scenery. In a staid, old married lady way, of course. Grits the Youngest asks what we are looking for.

“Caulk,” I tell her absently, trying to look out the corner of my eye. Mmmm.

“Caulk!” she pipes in her little kid voice. The men around me visibly flinch.

“That’s a funny word. Caulk!” she continues. My mind quit working when I started checking out the guys, plus I might have inhaled some coffee at this point. So my reaction time is slow.

“Caulk, caulk, caulk! I love to say caulk.”

I don’t have a free hand to put over her mouth. “Stop saying caulk,” I hiss.

“Why?” she starts, but by then I have decided to cut and run. I guess she followed me, because we still have her.

So after having an internet-ready computer for three years, my mom has finally started venturing online. She's on Youtube a lot and she's found a few online friends. So yesterday she came over to me and asked "Are you familiar with fanfiction?"

I say "Yes, I write some. Why?"

"Well, there's a site. Fanfiction.net. Can you show me how to get there?"

"....you want me to show you how to get to fanfiction.net?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Sure."

Though now there's something wrong with her computer so she used the one in the computer room.... She came in just now. "How do you turn it on?" -facepalm- And its not a whole new model! It just has a square button instead of a round one!

That made me cry! As in laughed until --

My mother is a lot like that! At least yours is online and interested in reading stuff on fanfiction.net. My mother wouldn't read mine even if I printed it out in big type for her!

Oh, its not over...

So she got on a bit ago and asked me what to click to get online. That's a bit understandable because on her's it's "the blue 'e' that says internet under it." In the other room we use Firefox. So I got her online.

Google is the homepage. She wanted Youtube so I told her to type it in. "Here?" She asks, looking at the google bar.

No.

"Here?" Going to a toolbar.

No. I show her the address bar and tell her to type in Youtube. Then I help her sign in.

"Okay, now how do I see my gmails?"

You want to check your email?

"No, my gmails."

Ok, let's get you to gmail.

So I get her there and tell her to sign in.

"How?"

-facepalm- Put in your username and password.

So she puts in her username. "I don't know my password."

You don't know your password?!

"No, it always shows up in black dots for me."

I was laughing right up until that last part, then all the humor evaporated. This is an identity theft waiting to happen.

You should consider getting your mum an "Internet for Dummies" book or something along those lines.

Jacki Dice, you have my sympathy. My mother prints out my emails to her so she can save them. If I lived closer to her… well, I’d have to move.

Our hearts are with you Japan <3

We extend our thoughts, hopes, and (for some) prayers to you, (you in particular, urineashtram). We hope you will get through this quickly.

Was the Philipines hit as well? If so, my heart is def with you Ureniashtram !!!

Osaka just got hit by a mere stumble and rumble. Nothing too serious. Tokyo.. I worry for Tokyo. My family's got friends there. Heres hoping they're unharmed. And I hope that the death toll.. is not too much.

But the real deal breaker is the Phillipines. They might under warning now, but who knows what would happen? My entire family is in there.