I just hope at least Janus understands who's who, and who's just Malan impersonating Jak impersonating Fathis ... otherwise he'll rescue the wrong husband - Agronak maybe?

Maybe that's why Maxical has her blouse off. She wouldn't want to get confused with any of those guys!

This post has been edited by ghastley: Apr 6 2011, 09:10 PM

I have a message from a dear friend of mine, Cliff. He says to please stop hanging him, he's starting to get rope-burn 'round his neck.

But you know what? I don't think you should listen to a word he says. If it means our entertainment, I'll tighten the noose myself!

I think Maxical secretly enjoyed her smoochies with Count Umbranox Hassildor. Considering how he was able to turn her on just by being near, I'm pretty sure that a small portion of herself (the one that harbors the secret burning passion that she can't ever fully repress), managed to break through.

Relief that they parted... but why? I am doubtful it was completely because Maxical hated the idea of kissing him, but rather she was going through a pretty big bout of indecision over those brief seconds, what with her love for Fathis and her desire for Gils. It is no secret in this tale that Hassildor's presence has a strong intoxicating effect on her. Sure, the part of her that she was letting Janus see blatantly hated the idea of kissing the man who had just tried to emotionally crush her, but such effects as Hassildor has on Maxical's hormones can never truly be buried, nor can emotions. This is especially true for Maxical, as her emotions are about as subtle as a hydrogen bomb.

A large part of me believes that Maxical did secretly enjoy that kiss, though she might never admit to it. Now we just need to wait until Hassildor makes clear what he saw in her mind over that time.

However, I am very sure Hassildor enjoyed that kiss.

This post has been edited by Thomas Kaira: Apr 8 2011, 06:58 AM

I loved Maxical's visitation. Her childlike naivete and mischievousness was realistic, and it made me remember my childhood, and also to think of my little girl, who is almost three and gets into plenty of mischief!

When Alix came to speak to Maxical, after she thought they were going to send her back, it was very touching and it brought tears to my eyes.

And this line:



This line is beautiful and it speaks volumes. Because of that line, I will honestly look at how I react when my children misbehave, and try to be more understanding and less condescending. The last thing I want to do is break their spirits. I loved this whole chapter, but this first part was my favorite, and there is so much wisdom to be found there.

Great job! You deserve a

This post has been edited by Lady Syl: Apr 8 2011, 04:54 PM

Chapter 3--Hilarious. When Maxical scared the pigeons and they pooed on the guards, I love the images that came to mind... and then when she leaped into Fathis Aren's arms and got him defending her, it was excellent. I like how you portrayed him, both as a womanizer and a sympathetic man. It gives him a realistic depth of character. And I also like how his presence made the big tough guards suddenly become wimpy little suck-ups....

@ Lady Syl - I love hearing these thoughts on the early chapters!! I have been going back and reading them again after your comments, lol. Thank you so much for your kind words !! Your support is very appreciated !!!

I raised my banshees ... er...boys that way. They were wilder than Cooter Brown as children - but grew up to be absolutely AWESOME adults.

I looked at it as kind of like riding a high spirited horse - the reins are there to guide them, if you yank on them too much you will harden their mouths and toughen them against your rule.

Thank you so much, Lady Syl !!

***
@ Grits - Thank you so much Grits !! You picked some of my own fave lines to quote in those chapters. There seems to be an anti-chemistry going on between them that spontaneously combusts whenever their scenes are written, lol.

That last chapter was written without Janus trying to explain that Jak was speaking through him, and on the edit it fell flat, like something was missing. It seemed odd Janus would take the blame for Jak's words, but no matter how it was phrased...any apologies came out making Janus sound like a nut. I finally decided to write it out, and when I read it - loved it. I am so glad you liked it too !! Thank you again !!!

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian! To hear you say "Maxical at her Maxicalest" makes me feel good, because I know the chapters that I find "Buffy at her Buffiest" are the ones that I like best !! You ROCK !!

***
@ Destri - Thank you so very much Destri !! You had me roaring laughing with this:



The only spell Janus has admitted using was one to make Fathis trust him - Maxical still has no idea Janus is behind Fathis staying away from her (or his sword not rising to the occasion when they were together).

Take into account that Maxical is only 17 years old, and has only been on her own a little over six months. She is inexperienced in relationships and love. Her attachment to Fathis till graduation was "hero worship" - followed by months of being technically dumped by him. Fathis's past history with women is the only basis she has to go on.

Her problem is not that she believes the worst of Fathis - but that she trusts and believes everything she is told without discernment as to who is doing the telling and what their motives might be.

Example: Gils manipulated Maxical by telling her Fathis didn't want a gauche girl - (obviously meaning herself) to get her to "gain experience" with him.

Example: Jak/Janus telling her Fathis was in a steamy affair during that time he knew she felt abandoned by Fathis.

Maxical has only been on her own a little over six months and has no inkling that anyone would use lies or manipulation for ulterior motives. The kind of judgement you are wanting her to show is a lesson one learns from being burned - you have to catch the lie to know you have been lied to.

In the few months she's been out on her own she has never caught anyone in lies and manipulation. She is still living in that childhood fantasy that everything can be taken at face value. She just needs time and experience to grow up, lol.

I'd say the day Maxical finds out Janus was behind all that trouble between her and Fathis, Janus better be glad he is immortal.

I am so glad you liked that last chapter!!! (whew, lol !!!) - Thank you so much Destri !!!

***
@ King Coin - Thank you so much KC !!! If nothing else, Maxical is determined, lol. Janus more or less lost his life at age 18-19, and has been in a limbo of isolation since. Maxical is 17 and has been overly sheltered till the last 6 months or so - they are more or less in the same place experience-wise. (or should I say "clueless-wise, lol).

It'll be a few chapters before you find out what happened to Maxical, I have to catch the other factions up to the present - and I hope you enjoy Vicente's updates as much as I enjoyed writing them!!

Thanks again KC, You ROCK !!!

***
@ Ghastley - ROFL !! Thank you so much for that, Ghastley !!! That should keep my head spinning for a while, lol.

***
@ Master Chef TK - You are so right about Hassildor's presence having a strong intoxicating effect on her - it is actually caused by being exposed to the aura of the vampire. It's the same effect Jak and Vicente had on her in the lines at the ring promotion - but its power and strength is commiserate with that of the vampire's ancient lines - which is why Seridur's and Agronak's did not effect her. (they are from very lowly lines)

What Hassildor saw in her mind has strong implications as to how the ancient vampires (in my story) tick. I modeled my vampires off a mod I use (that is where the turning into birds and mind control comes from) - and a feral cat colony I tend. As for the patterns of their innate laws - I took them directly from a few of the utmost rural spots in the Appalacian region.

There are some rural spots in Appalacia that, (should you inadvertantly happen into them) you will find they have their own set of rules and laws they live by - they are a law unto themselves.

The hierarchy of a feral cat colony is so totally different than that of housecats - it is like they are almost a different species. They have a different way of seeing every action, a different reaction to every stimuli (when compared to the housecat).

I tried to simulate those differences and thinking in reference to ancient vampires in the story, and hope it comes across well to the reader.

Thank you so much TK !!!

***
@ Lady Syl - I am so tickled you are liking the early chapters !!! Thank you again so much for your kind words and thoughts !!! (WOO HOO! That makes my day!!)

And here I thought Janus was just wearing Catnip-scented cologne.

Either that or he's one helluva toker.

This post has been edited by Thomas Kaira: Apr 10 2011, 09:24 PM

ROFL !!! You are def on your game this week, I just nearly choked to death !!! Remeber you said this in a month or so when a certain chapter comes out while Maxical tackles the main questline, ROFL !!!

*


Chapter 105: Faction Update: Agronak, Vicente, And The Vampire Hunters



******* Vicente and Agronak


Vicente’s eyes bulged under his cowl at the sight of Agronak. That loony Orc had to be gotten out of the Imperial City, Malan’s giants were safer!

“HEY YOU!” Agronak yelled when Vicente tried to duck behind a bush.

“Lord Agronak! Er…it’s not safe for you out here, shouldn’t you be hiding in the sewers…or your house?” Vicente swallowed hard.

“The sewers blew up, I was lucky to get out alive! Look…I’ve been burned again.”

“They’re coming after you, Lord Agronak. They have torches and will burn you to death. You had better flee for your own safety. Uriel‘s Law has been enacted, we are all goners if we don‘t get out of here. I‘m leaving here myself…”

“I’ll go with you then!” Agronak pouched his lower lips between the tusks and held out his blackened arms. “You need to heal me, I don’t have magic…”

“Me neither.” Vicente lied. “The Arena has a healer, don’t they? They have to heal you, since you‘re still the Grand Champion…right?“

“Yeah…YEAH! Don‘t leave till I get back.”










******* Vicente and the Vampire Hunters


As soon as Agronak turned the corner Vicente ran, cutting over to the Market District. His plan to hole up in the safety of his suite came to a smashing halt as his face slammed into the heavy door of the Merchants when he tried to burst in.

Vicente pounded on the door, yelling and waving his room key. After what seemed like an interminable wait he heard the bolt being slid across. He shoved the door open, barreling through and nearly knocking down the old man that had unlocked the door.

“What took so long, you idiot!” Vicente slid the bolt back across himself and stepped through the foyer into the main room.

“Vicente Valtieri! Some of those vampire hunters you wrote to were here looking for you…” Velus shouted across the span of the room from behind his counter as soon as he saw Vicente.

Numerous heads in the dining room turned from their plates, honing in on Vicente as he hurried forward to shush Velus.

“Keep your voice down! How could they be here looking for me, those letters were sent anonymously…and how could they find me at Merchants?” Vicente was stunned.

“Well I sealed the missives with our Merchant’s Inn stamp, of course. When the man said he was looking for the author of the letters I gave him your name and suite number.” Velus had a blank look on his face.

“Why would I sign them ‘anonymous’ if I wanted them to know who I was, or where I wrote from? Is this your idea of anonymity? I paid you for your silence, this is an outrage…“

“Well sir, a couple Septims was what you gave me, that is not what I consider hush-worthy.”

“Not worthy of your silence, when that is exactly what you took the Septims for? Tell me, what DO you consider it then?”

“To me that‘s a ‘tell what you know and point the finger‘ amount.”

“You certainly pocketed it quickly enough! I should demand it back for this! Then to flag me at the top of your lungs in front of your dinner crowd and state my business for all to hear…”

“Oh, I can explain that. Some gentleman told me you were hard of hearing and I would have to shout to capture your attention.”

“What gentleman?”






***


Velus shrugged. “I didn’t get his name. But he had one of those letters you sent and asked a lot of questions about you. He tipped me real well, too. Now that’s a man what knows how to bribe. OH! While we’re on the subject…a woman was in here yesterday morning complaining that she saw you doing something perverted in the side alley of the Inn. Disgusting is what I say that kind of thing is, just disgusting. You got a room upstairs for that kind of thing. We don‘t want your type here unless you’re opening your purse for the privilege.”

Numerous heads turned in the dining room and began ogling Vicente; scowling, glaring, whispering and giggling behind their hands.

“Good gods, lower your voice, man! I don’t know what you’re talking about! Besides, I’ve already opened my purse, I have a suite upstairs!”

“Aye, you and yours paid for one. But that was before you took your business into the side alley. We charge extra for perverts…” Velus spoke loud enough that the dinner crowd in the restaurant could easily hear. They were staring, and had fallen into a hush so as not to miss a word.

“Stop shouting, I am not deaf!“ Vicente shouted, then lowered his voice. “I haven’t been in any side alley, this woman has made up these charges!”

“She said he wore a creepy dark cowl and cloak. Sound familiar now?”

Vicente scoured his brain for anything he had done in the side alley…he hadn’t even been in it that he could remember.

“I don’t care who she saw, it was not me! I saw others dressed exactly as I am at the Arena not two hours ago, it must have been one of them! You are accusing me of something I haven’t done!”

Velus pulled his shiny new sword down from the shelf behind his counter and began polishing it, glaring at Vicente.

“I’m not paying pervert fees to you when I have done nothing disgusting!” Vicente’s voice raised in anger.

Without the door even being pounded on first, the man that had opened it earlier suddenly hurried across to the door and slid the bolt.

Vicente glared after him, shouting. “Suddenly you can move now? Where were your legs when I was pounding? What kind of security is a locked door if you open it for everyone that wants in?” Vicente’s voice died away in a gasp.






***


With a sickening lurch in his stomach Vicente watched as four filthy men swaggered into the Inn. He had no doubt who it was…Eridor and his gang of vampire hunters. The man that had opened the door slid the bolt back across and looked up at Vicente.

“Eh? What’d ye say young lad?”

“Here’s the man you were looking for!” Velus shouted, pointing at Vicente.

Eridor locked eyes on Vicente’s form like an owl that sees its prey. Vicente heard swords leaving their sheaths without seeing the men actually draw them.

“Hey, no violence in my Inn, you hear me?” Velus shouted. “What’s going on here?”

“What…what are you doing? I’m the one that sent you the letter, you idiots! STOP! I SENT FOR YOU!“ Vicente wailed, backing up till the counter in his back stopped him.

The sound of a battle cry split the still air of the Inn as the vampire hunters charged Vicente.

“GAAAAH!“ Vicente screamed and began darting through the restaurant, dodging tables and the shrieking customers who were surging up from them to escape the melee.

Vicente began overturning the tables as he passed, throwing them behind him to trip up Eridor and his men. The crash of shattering crystal stemware and fine china splintering could be heard above the shrieking patrons.

“MY RESTAURANT!” Velus bellowed, charging into the dining room with his sword drawn. He pointed it at Eridor. “OUT! ALL OF YOU! NOW!”

As if no one had heard him, Vicente shot by him and dumped a table as he passed. Hot on his heels came the vampire hunters, their swords waving wildly in the air.

“GAAAAH!” Velus scrambled out of the way. “I’m charging you for these damages Valtieri! OUT! NOW! And take your friends with you! GUARDS! My beautiful Inn…urg!”

Vicente leaped over a table and darted back, zig-zagging through where he had already come from. His feet skidded over half-eaten steaks and green beans, scrambling for momentum on the now slick floor.






***


Two of Eridor’s gang were barreling toward Vicente. He tried to dodge them and his feet slid from beneath him, shooting him under one of the long white tablecloths. On his hands and knees Vicente scrambled on through, using the tablecloths as cover.

The two vampire hunters were moving too fast to stop quickly on the slippery floor. They skidded into a table with such force it popped into the air, flying away from them as they hurtled downward from the impact. Their momentum carried them under the next table, weapons first…piercing two women that were hiding underneath the table for safety.

“Shamar, you idiot! You let him get away and stabbed that woman!” Eridor shouted.

“It wasn’t me, it was Vontus!” The Redguard yelled as he tried to dislodge his sword from the shrieking woman.

Vontus slid his sword easily from the still form it had pierced. “Uh, Eridor…I think this one is dead.”

“You ninny, she is just in a swoon. Now go catch that vampire!”

“Vampire! Where?” Velus slid to a stop in the middle of the restaurant, then gawked at the sight of bleeding women. “GUARDS! ASSAULT! GUARDS!”

Vicente made it to the foyer and struggled with the bolt on the door. He glanced back and saw the door guard sitting at the bar sipping a glass of wine as if nothing was going on.

“He’s getting away!” Eridor shouted, leaping over the two bleeding women and charging toward Vicente. In his wake came a Nord carrying a huge hammer.

“HALT! GUARDS!” Velus bellowed. He stood between the door and the vampire hunters, his sword wavering from one to the other. “You’ll pay for your crimes here, all of you! You‘re not leaving till the guards get here!”

Eridor pushed past him, cornering Vicente at the door. He raised his battle ax into the air. “Taste my blade, you vile creature of the night!“

“I’m the one that wrote you, idiots! Ask the Publican if you don‘t believe me!”

“You think I can’t smell undead on you?” Eridor waved his axe in a figure eight.

“I had chitlins for breakfast, that always gives me gas…” Vicente tried to argue but it did no good.

“DIE VAMPIRE!” Eridor started his charge and now all four had him surrounded.


*

LOL! One of the funniest episodes to date! (except Agronak's visit to the Courier, I'm not sure if that can be topped) Stabbing the women under the tables! Idiots! and where are the traditional Oblivion guards? I expected them to barrel in just because that's what they always do.

Great episode! Keep 'em coming!

Oh, damn, that's him out of the way.

Better luck next time Valtieri, and next time, you might want to be a bit more generous with the gold.

Verus was hilarious all the way through. He just doesn't seem to understand that once two sides start fighting one another it takes more than words to stop them. He might want to hire a new doorman, too.

“I had chitlins for breakfast, that always gives me gas…”

Nice try.

For anyone who needs to refresh their minds about the perverted incident in the side alley of the merchants: (Page 32, Chapter 75: Scenes At The Merchants - Section on Janus Hassildor) :




This post has been edited by mALX: Apr 11 2011, 01:26 AM

“Well I sealed the missives with our Merchant’s Inn stamp, of course. When the man said he was looking for the author of the letters I gave him your name and suite number.” Velus had a blank look on his face.
I loved this!

Velus shrugged. “I didn’t get his name. But he had one of those letters you sent and asked a lot of questions about you. He tipped me real well, too. Now that’s a man what knows how to bribe.
Now, this 'good tipper' sounds to me like an employee of one sly fox.

The introduction of green beans on the floor signaled the beginning of a truly slapstick segment. A food fight, slipping and sliding, impotent shouting by the innkeep, swords waving wildly under the tables. And one very cheap and frightened vampire in the center of it all!

Great fun to read, mALX!

[quote]Velus pulled his shiny new sword down from the shelf behind his counter and began polishing it, glaring at Vicente.

“I’m not paying pervert fees to you when I have done nothing disgusting!” Vicente’s voice raised in anger. [/quote]

[quote]Where were your legs when I was pounding?[/quote]

[quote]Their momentum carried them under the next table, weapons first…piercing two women that were hiding underneath the table for safety.

[quote]It wasn’t me, it was Vontus!” The Redguard yelled as he tried to dislodge his sword from the shrieking woman.

Vontus slid his sword easily from the still form it had pierced. “Uh, Eridor…I think this one is dead.”

“You ninny, she is just in a swoon. Now go catch that vampire!”[/quote]


OBITUARY: The Man known as DFoxy was found dead in front of a computer with the screen and keyboard sprayed liberally with saliva, an inbox full of sperm .... er er er spam .....and "A new Sun rises" blinking on the screen. Even in death his face was locked into an idiotic grin.

I do believe Vincent has learned a very valuable lesson, never tip poorly. It will always come back to bite you! Sorry I have been gone for awhile, haven't had a working computer for months. Acutally, to be truthful, I still don't. The one I am in the process of using belongs to my brother, so my posts will still be abit.... Scattered till I can find a solid solution, being a new computer. Until then, I shall continue to jump to the most available PC.

That all aside, loved the segment Malx!

OMG, undead-smelling chitlins! This whole chapter had me rolling!

But this:

He glanced back and saw the door guard sitting at the bar sipping a glass of wine as if nothing was going on.

The door guard steals the show!!! I could just imagine Vicente sliding over the floor with a steak under his foot like a skate!! Hilarious, mALX, I love it!!!

Mmmm, smells like dead stuff!

Velus and the doorman make this chapter sing! The part that Grits pointed out was my favorite also. The vampires of Cyrodiil have apparently grown complacent. There seems to be no accounting for inflation. What constituted a good tip back in the Second Era just doesn’t fly in the Third. Vicente is now the second vampire to see his world tumble due in no small part to the miserly handling of money. Malan impersonating Jak impersonating Fathis probably thinks that Vincente handled this wrong!

Chapter 4 review

Maxical’s letters home were a riot. She’s a typical mischievous kid, trying to get her letters to arrive before the ones from the professors and staff, and telling them to tear up and ignore the other letters.

“There is no proof I was involved.”

“I was forced to drop out of Archery class, please don’t tell Forester, it may bring up some bad memories.”

“Arch Mage Traven said he has begun praying to Akatosh for me to graduate.”
This was all so funny. Sounds like the Arcane university had their hands quite full with Maxical there!

“First off, I am not writing because I have gotten into trouble.”
Well, that’s a surprise! Lol And the questionnaire was priceless. I have to wonder, is there a hint of experience in these?

That whole chapter just made me laugh. Maxical is quite the comical character, and yet you still manage to keep her story very touching.

This post has been edited by Lady Syl: Apr 17 2011, 12:00 AM

@ King Coin - Now that’s what I love to hear !! Never an Imperial Guard around when you need one, lol. They are tied up with Malan’s Giants, maybe, lol. Thank you so much KC !!!

***
@ Chef TK - Thank you so much TK! I agree with you - but not sure if Velus is any more effective with his sword than he is with his words, lol.

***
@ Acadian - Thank you so much Acadian !! Not Foxy’s man, but Jak/Malan‘s - but I‘m sure Foxy‘s would have had he been there, lol. I loved your summary of events !!! Thanks again, Acadian !!!

***
@ Foxy - Now you’ve made my day !!! WOO HOO !!! I’m glad I could give you a laughing send off, and hope you are staying safe wherever you are AWOL from us. You ROCK !!! Thank you so much Foxy !!!

***
@ Arcry - Thank you so much Arcry !!! It is always great to see your avatar whenever you can make it !!! Sorry to hear about your PC issues, hope you get that fixed before … SKYRIM !!!!!

***
@ Grits - I was about to cut that last scene with the guard out to save on words … and just couldn’t. I pictured him (hard of hearing) and kind of off in his own little world with all that going on around him - and drinking whoever’s wine was left behind when the ruckus started - it had to stay, lol. I appreciate you Grits, thank you so much !!!!

***
@ Zalphon - GAAAH! That’s right, you are doing a necromancing RP now !!! ROFL !!! Thank you so much Zalphon !!!

***
@ Destri - Thank you so much Destri … and BWAAAHAAA !!! I love that vid !!!! That is hilarious, and apropos !!! Vicente got stuck in my head as a tightwad in the original version of this story … now I can’t get the image out, lol. Thanks again, Destri !!!

***
@ Lady Syl - Thank you so very much Syl !!! I love your comments because they bring back Maxical’s early childhood years - and you may be right about the experience.

My older son (the one that has done 3 tours in Iraq and is now in Afghanistan) - not a day went by that I didn’t get a call or note from his school about his behavior. By the time my youngest came along I was experienced in cutting them off at the knees before their griping started with the mention of wanting a meeting with the Superintendent of Schools. Thank you so much !!!!



***********************




The following chapter refers to a letter Vicente sent to the vampire hunters. For anyone that would like to refresh their memories here is the previous mention of that letter:


(Reference Letter from Vicente to Vampire Hunters, Chapter 98, Page 47)




This post has been edited by mALX: Apr 20 2011, 02:14 PM