Oh, seriously? That's how Garnas manages to collect payment on a debt?

I suppose I should say something here about how extraordinarily well written that last sequence is. Completely true. Athlain's sense of loss and duty comes across wonderfully, the anger of Garnas practically bleeds off the screen, along with his regular blood. His request regarding his disposal and the sense of final regret about the path that led him to this point; it's all great stuff.

It still upsets me to read that.

Ah, well, as long as we're talking payment, might as well point out that another invoice is written up for Carnius, and the debt's past due. The collection fee is already high, and accounts have got to be paid.

Tell the piper, he's gonna be playing that old tune once again.


Heh, I do love seeing different takes on that expression.

Reminds me of the most proper-way of ever saying that. "The fecal matter is about to hit the ceiling mounted oscillator." That phrasing is perfect for typing up and putting in the report that the captain wants on his desk by morning.

This post has been edited by Captain Hammer: May 21 2011, 12:22 AM

'There was no way I was going to move silently in all my armor and equipment, but Garnas might have been another of the many shadows.'

'He slid to the ground, staring up at the light. I knelt beside him and wrapped my arms around him, tears streaking my face. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again.'

'Then he was gone. I simply held him for minutes beyond counting, and when I stood up, I lifted the small form of one of the biggest mer I had ever known and I carried him from that dark place.'


By Mara! The above three passages really capture the majesty of your writing!

It is no wonder that Athlain's story is such a joy to read and that he can so stir the heart of his readers.

I see Carnius is getting more tight-fisted with his money, not paying this bunch before the job (and I wonder if he ever planned to pay them at all, or was just going to kill them after the job instead?). I would wonder if that was due to Athlain withdrawing all of that cash, but the note was written before that. So my guess is that he grew tired of spending money of failures. In any case, now Athlain has the proof to tie Carnius to the attack on the colony.

An excellent ending of the episode with the face-off between Nasios and Garnas. I expected something like this for Garnas, as he had that tragic figure vibe to him. It gives excellent closure to his story. Also very true to life as well. Often both knife and sword fights ended with both sides dying, so terrible are the wounds those weapons can inflict. With that armpit wound, Garnas only had minutes before he died.

Fantastic writing, Treydog! I have loved seeing the progression of Athlain as a character throughout this story. The final scene with Garnas is both very touching and very personal, and it really gives life to the characters in the game that most probably saw as "just another NPC."

I get the feeling that the story is quickly reaching a climax of sorts; the note from the dead mercenary provides the proof Athlain needed, and I am sure retribution is not far behind. But will the death of Garnas affect our hero's judgement to the point where he wishes to act TOO hastily, or will his maturity and instincts take over and force about a calmer, yet still swift, reaction? I am inclined to think the latter, but death is a hard enough think to deal with, let alone the death of one's own men. I am interested to see how Athlain handles it.

Again, great job as always, Treydog! I can't wait for the next chapter!

ARGH! BWAAAAA! This had me in tears! Powerfully written and overwhelmingly emotional, Awesome and shattering ... argh. (both for Garnas and Athlain). AWESOME WRITE !!!

I have to agree with you here. And I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the court martial hearings he is undergoing with Julian of Anvil. (Whatever he does from here now that he has proof - is going to be the catalyst that begins the court martial is my guess).

I've said this to a couple of ppl already, I'm reading along, soon I'll be up to date, so please bear with me, I'll be there!

And I'm enjoying every minute of reading, you know that, right?

I salute thee, Trey. There may or may not have been blood on the moon, but there certainly was a tear in my eye.

That was a strong part. Garnas kind of had the tragic character vibe to him but I wasn't entirely expecting him to be killed off so soon (if at all becuase he was a strong one). Well done surprising me, and well done giving it so much power.


Lots of lines have been quoted but not this gem yet. There's a lot in this line, a reminder of who Athlain is and his background as well as making the point powerfully. It's becoming harder to imagine Athlain off Solstheim now, but you keep the ties with things like this.

Still with the way different things are moving I suspect it's as well Solstheim is cold, because it might be a while yet before that body gets to Khull... This piece is moving fast, and even though I know where it's going (more or less) it still holds all it's excitment.

@Everyone- a couple of things… First, this post will end the chapter that seemed to have no ending. And it will also see the exit of Julian of Anvil. Words cannot express my gratitude to Haute Ecole Rider for her cooperation as I “borrowed” her character for my story. This chapter- and the entire story- would have been much poorer without the presence of the formidable Redguard. What started out as an idle notion on my part grew into an essential component of the story. I want to once again express my thanks to Haute for her able assistance- and for her wonderful character.

Second- Garnas. Killing him off was not an easy decision, nor one that I actually saw coming from the beginning. Initially, my desire was simply to turn a rather mundane “go there- do that” quest into something with more narrative punch. Afer Flaccus was fun, Gratian was his usual taciturn self- and Garnas jumped off the page and demanded that his story be told. This was Athlain’s first real experience with command. And one lesson of command is that- no matter how carefully you plan- you lose people in battle. Garnas embraced his fate, feeling that he owed a life and a guardian spirit to his family.

@haute- First, my thanks to you again. Garnas rather surprised me- with both his sudden appearance and his sudden departure. And Athlain has gone from being a rather humorless spoiled brat to the having the dry humor that comes with experience. My fondest hope for Skyrim is that there may be some way to “choreograph” tactics with your “helpers.” As opposed to the Morrowind method, by which they rush ahead to attack anything that moves

@Captain Hammer- My apologies for the death of the dark elf. But, in my defense, a death with some meaning seems better than simply disappearing off the page…. And my humble thanks for your kind words about the writing. And yes- Carnius’ bill is about to come due at last.

@Acadian- Thank you- I find myself nearly at a loss for more than that after such wonderful praise. Elves- the wood variety as well as the Dunmer, have a way of taking up residence in one’s heart and one’s pen… And thank the patron saints of writing that they do!

@SubRosa- Yes, Carnius’ growing desperation seems to be at the heart of this penultimate “quest.” And thank you so much for sharing the vision I have of Garnas, Following the death of his brother, he had only one purpose in life and he fulfilled that purpose.

@Khajiit_Thief01- First of all- WELCOME! And I am pleased that Athlain’s progress is visible over the arc of the story- that is the true “journey” referenced in the subtitle. Your question regarding how Athlain will handle Carnius is answered below….

@mALX- Thank you so much. It pleases me that I can move you- one of the best writers of emotions out there.

@minque- And welcome back to one of my earliest forum friends and fellow writers. Your support at the beginning and throughout has been one of the things that has kept me writing for all these years.

@D.Foxy- Ah- now if I can prompt a tear from the Foxy one, I know I have accomplished my task. My thanks.

@Olen- Many thanks. I look to you to make sure that I am striking the right notes. As to Garnas and Khuul- well, Athlain takes his obligations seriously. And yes, this chapter that has hung around for so long is finally rushing toward its ending with the speed of a freight train…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

In a daze, I walked out into the settlement. Gratian and Afer fell in silently behind me as I carried my burden to the dock where Falco waited. The colony manager looked at me, then at what I held, and his ravaged face reflected my own.

“I am sorry Athlain,” he whispered.

I nodded and mutely put Garnas down, then handed Falco the note I had found on the mercenary leader. He ran his eyes quickly over the lines and raised his gaze to mine. His expression had changed from grief to rage and determination.

“This note is what we needed. It is time to put an end to this. Take the note and confront Carnius. He can’t deny his involvement any longer- and he will swing for it. This is nothing less than conspiracy to commit murder.”

I nodded again and at last found my own voice. “I’ll need a day or two. I want to take Garnas back to Vvardenfell. Stick close to Afer and Gratian, and I will go directly from Khuul to the fort.”

Basks-in-the-Sun had seen what was happening, and held his departure in case he was needed. While I talked to Falco, Gratian brought a cloak and we bundled Garnas into it. At least he would not be cold on his final voyage. The four of us each took a corner and bore him onto the ship and Basks only waited long enough for the other three to climb down before he cast off. I spent the journey standing in the bow, salt spray mixing with the tears on my face. I was going back to Vvardenfell at last, but not in triumph or celebration.

Once we reached the small Redoran village, I located Endris Dilmyn and asked him to take care of the arrangements for Garnas. I had known the elf all my life; apparently he was one of the many whom my father had “helped” in some way that was never fully explained. He shook my hand and promised to see that all was done properly. I turned back to the dock and paused. Somehow, I did not want to wait, did not want the long hours of the sea journey in which to think. So instead, I cast the spell that carried me directly to the Imperial Cult Shrine at Fort Frostmoth. I was only one winding stairwell away from Carnius Magius. I had started this “adventure” filled with certainty; joining the Legion because it seemed noble and romantic. And, at every turn, certainty had been battered and buffeted; instead of nobility, I had found squalor. But not now. Now, I knew beyond doubt what I must do, what the burden of a leader truly was. First though, I made sure that I carried nothing that identified me as a member of the Imperial Legion- this was personal. Then I eased my mace in its loop, took the incriminating note in my hand, and mounted the stairs.


“Now we have reached the point at which Carnius Magius was killed.” Julian looked at me neutrally and said, “Tell me about it.”

“He is dead because he attacked me. And because of what he said before he tried to kill me.”

“And what was that?”

It was a blessing for Constans Atrius that he was not lurking in his usual spot when I strode down the hall to the East Empire office and slammed through the door. Carnius looked at me, and his expression showed that he knew his latest gamble had failed. His eyes darted from my face to the note I held in my hand, and he recognized his doom in both. But- even in this, I would follow the rules. Despite what I knew, despite Garnas lying dead in Khuul, I was not a murderer.

I placed the note on the desk before him and indicated the handwriting and the telltale initial.

“If you would care to explain this, I will give you one minute. Use it wisely.”

He sneered at me and flicked the note with a finger. “A forgery. Probably something cooked up by Falco with your assistance.”

He stood behind the desk and added, “As for ‘explaining,’ let me ‘explain’ something to you. I will use small words, so you do not mistake my meaning.”

His grin was savage as he continued, “You know, Vvardenfell is still almost as much of a frontier as Solstheim. There are still bandits and raiders there. Events can be so unpredictable in a place like that. For example, there might be an attack along that lonely road between Indarys Manor and Ald’ruhn. Such an occurrence would be unfortunate, but not extraordinary. One would think the parents of young ladies traveling to school would be more careful…”

He paused, his eyes glittering with malice: “Or perhaps your family might receive a visitor. What would be more natural than for that visitor to provide a bottle of fine brandy as a guest gift?”

That last remark was frighteningly close to a vision I had once had; Carnius offering a poisoned glass to my mother. I felt my breath catch in my throat; had the vision been nightmare- or prophecy?

I leaned on his desk and snarled, “You have made a terrible mistake, threatening my family.”

The Company factor laughed and rasped, “And why is that? You won’t be around to protect them!”

Then, quick as a striking slaughterfish, he grabbed a mace that was hidden behind the desk and slammed it down, aiming for my right hand. But Athynae had warned me about Carnius, and I read his intent in his eyes. I pulled my hand away just in time. He was trapped by the desk long enough for me to draw my own weapon and defend myself.


I paused, reliving the last moments of Carnius’ life, and told Julian simply:

“We fought, and I killed him.”

At last, I looked into Julian’s eyes before adding:

“And when he was dead, I told him, “ ’They are mine, and you will never touch them’.”

Pilus Prior Julian was still for several minutes, then picked up a paper and glanced at it. She set aside it aside and looked at me, green eyes giving away nothing.

“Carnius Magius. According to this report, he sustained massive injuries, including two broken arms- the right in multiple places. He also had smashed ribs and other contusions. As for his face, well, the note here says it was ‘fortunate that he wore a distinctive signet ring that Constans Atrius was able to identify.’”

“And you were reported as having ‘a few bruises and some recently healed scars.’ Please explain how that happened.”

Instead of trying to answer with words, I stepped to the door and reached out into the hall. When I returned I placed Athynae’s Gift on the table between us and resumed my seat. Julian looked at the mace for several seconds before asking, “May I?”

When I nodded my assent, she lifted the weapon carefully and tested the balance, seeming to also sense the magic with which it was infused. “Absorb health?” she asked, placing it back on the table.

“Yes. Athynae got the idea from one of Father’s old stories. Only in his case, it was a sword. She told Brynjolfr that she intended to make sure I did not ‘get myself killed’.”

Julian’s eyes seemed to gaze upon something far away for a moment, and then returned to me. Her next words surprised me.

"Sir, you have mentioned someone named 'Athynae' several times. Who is she and how does she relate to the events with Carnius Magius?"

What a deceptively simple question. 'Who is Athynae?' When I did not answer for several long minutes, the Redguard cleared her throat and her eyebrow seemed to again rise of its own volition. I reached inside my cuirass and drew out the scarf Athynae had given to me at Sarethi Manor. It was stained and frayed and altogether lovely. I contemplated the individual threads as I said,

"You may want to sharpen several more quills- and open a new bottle of ink...."

And then the whole story came tumbling out- Carnius and his “tea;” the moon sugar cabin; Athynae’s arrival and my healing. It was a relief to finally tell someone the truth, even if it meant the end of my Legion career. Throughout my narration of addiction and recovery, Julian did not take any notes, simply watched and listened as I doomed myself.

But there was still a chance- Julian’s report would take time working its way through the labyrinthine Legion bureaucracy. I could use that small breathing space to complete my mission and find Captain Carius. Whether I wore the uniform or not, that was still my responsibility. Resolved upon my course, I raised my gaze from the table and looked into the eyes of the woman who held my fate in her hands. For her part, Julian looked back at me, seeming to read my thoughts from her examination of my face. The silence stretched for several minutes and then she placed her hands flat on the table in front of her.

“Sir, my orders were very specific. I was tasked with ‘determining the circumstances of the death of Factor Carnius Magius of the East Empire Company and the impact of that death on the Raven Rock colony, the Legion, and the Empire.’ I have done so, and my report will reflect my findings.”

She paused and drew in a deep breath before adding, “Other matters which may have come up in the course of our interviews are outside the scope of my orders, and will not be reported. We both have duties, and we had best be about them. One last thing, a bit of advice I got from my first Optio. ‘Protect your legionaries and honor your dead.’ ”

Then she rose fluidly from her chair, stood at attention and drew the Legion sword from her hip. With a snap of elbow and wrist, she raised it in front of her face, the formal salute to a superior officer. She held the stance for a long moment, then sheathed the sword and left the room.

Here Ends Chapter 13

Judging by the utter mutilation of Carnius's body, it is quite certain that there was many months blinding hatred channeled into Athlain's blows. Force someone to be around another person whom they despise to the very core of their soul, and they will break when prompted. Athlain certainly hit his breaking point here, and I think we should be quite surprised he left enough of Carnius behind to bury.

Nevertheless, that despicable twit is dead now, and good *shablamz!* riddance to that. With that done, Raven Rock can finally enjoy some peace and quiet.

Now, if I were Athlain at this point, the very first thing I would do is catch the boat back to Khuul and check up on Indarys Manor to make sure Carnius didn't actually do anything. He may have been a bumbling fool, but he has always managed to take at least one life with his grand schemes. I really do fear for Athlain's family right now, and I hope to the Three that Carnius was bluffing.

My fondest hope for Skyrim is that there may be some way to “choreograph” tactics with your “helpers.” As opposed to the Morrowind method, by which they rush ahead to attack anything that moves
Seeing that it works that way in Oblivion and Fallout 3 as well, do not get your hopes up.

I agree with what you said about your use of Julian here. She really has transcended being a neat cameo by a character from another F, and instead become an integral part of the storytelling process. Your cuts from events in the "past" to his interview with her in the "future" really make this segment work. A very daring - and dare I say it - brilliant piece of writing.

And finally, Julian does exactly what I would expect her to, after reading so much of her in OHDH. You have represented her brilliantly here in BotM.

Huge detail in this sentence, like the Drill Sargeant removing his hat and bars to let the recruit take him on man to man.

I heaved a sigh of relief when Julian saluted her respect to Athlain at the end - WHEW !!! AWESOME WRITE !!!!!!!!!


Oh wait...GAAAAH! I hate to say this, but my big hope was that Athlain would be put in prison for the killing ... and then wake up in the Imperial Prison in ... TES IV !!!!! I was all excited picturing Athlain in Cyrodiil ... argh.

This post has been edited by mALX: May 24 2011, 03:31 AM

Very powerful last segment to Chapter 13.

Athlain was so very Athlain throughout. And Julian was completely true to the character that we know and love as well.

'I reached inside my cuirass and drew out the scarf Athynae had given to me at Sarethi Manor. It was stained and frayed and altogether lovely.'
And what a joy to read of Athynae's favor. It was bittersweet and altogether lovely.

This post has been edited by Acadian: May 24 2011, 03:39 AM

So, Julian finishes her inquiry. Athlain finishes an important part of his story. Carnius finishes his plots against Raven Rock. And finishes his venture through that thing called 'Life.'

Powerful stuff, Trey. Athlain's final confrontation with Carnius reminds me of a good episode of Dexter, except without all the need to hide one's tracks on account of the fact that the killing was perfectly justified.

No, wait, my mistake. Carnius's final act reminds me of an episode of Justified, with Athlain standing in for either Givens or Gutterson. Definitely a justified killing.



[Brooklyn Accent]
So, the reportedly 'legitimate businessman' got what was comin' ta him. I take its he gots'd a closed casket?
[/Brooklyn Accent]

At the very least Carnius being gone is one less thing I have to worry about with you roaming all over that frozen wasteland!!!

And thank the Nine that Julian saw the importance of separating what was relevant and what wasn't....well I guess that's two less things to worry about...

Now, what are we going to do about all this betrothal business???? Athlain, I CANNOT marry the Duke!!!! What was mother thinking????

Athynae

Wonderful writing, spellbound as I always am by your imagery. You are on a good roll and I am overjoyed to see it....even if I had to threaten you to get it started...

And thus ends his time with the EEC I suspect. Carnius got what was coming to him, Athlain is cleared of wrongdoing (on that front at least), I had wondered if you might have him thrown out, and thought I had guessed right when you mentioned that there was still time to finish the last job before the beurocracy finished - but I was wrong. Makes me wonder what next...

I still imagine there is some more to do before going back to Vvardenfel again.


This was a powerful line in a powerful part, he goes home, but only to bury a friend, then it's back to Solstheim to bury an enemy. Although short it caught some of the weariness that seems to be building in him, I suspect he will be glad in many ways to leave the island, even if he does have friends there. He's matured further, no longer looking for adventure or fame, rather wanting to sit back. I suspect he will get on rather better with his father when he returns triumphant.

I had wondered when you would end julian's involvment, but I should have known - at the right moment. Having her for the EEC section worked very well and she became more than just a cameo (indeed one which welds together a great many of the stories here) but I did wonder if having someone ahead of the event might hurt the tension in the next part (if this goes as I suspect it will). It seems we won't.

I look forward to meeting those that give bloodmoon it's name, and even more to finding out how that bit goes.

Oh sweet child....I owe you so much, but remember, I always have your best in mind.

Serene


And Trey... as Tina Turner says "you're simply the best"

Yes, Mother he is the best!

Mother, I have always known that you want the best for me. There has never been any doubt about that.

@Thomas Kaira- I hoped the rather laconic “medical examiner’s report” would have more impact than a loving description of the actual fight. And there is no question Athlain was drawing on more than just his Legion training in killing his nemesis. Khuul is in the near future- and Indarys Manor will appear, but in a way that I hope is unexpected.

@SubRosa- I find myself stammering and stuttering at your kind words. The idea of having Julian appear to shape Athlain’s life- and my story- became essential almost as soon as I thought of it. And it is a tribute to haute’s ability to create such a vivid and wonderful character that I was able to maintain Julian’s nature.

@mALX- Thank you so much for highlighting one of the points that was also significant to me. Athlain maintains his judgment even under severe duress. As to prison- well- I think at least ONE of my characters may end up imprisoned in Cyrodiil sometime in the future….

@Acadian- Thank you my friend. That poor battered scarf will see yet more “action” in the chapter that follows. I have feeling Serene must have imbued it with spells of preservation… Also, the idea of that scarf goes quite some time back into my own past experience.

@Captain Hammer- The comparison to Raylan makes me VERY happy. And it was also pleasant beyond words to FINALLY kill off Carnius! He is one of those NPCs that you just kind of want to keep around in a saved game so you can kill him again and again…. Justified indeed.

@Athynae- I think the only way you will ever be able to “stop worrying” about Athlain will be to maintain close supervision on him. Of course, every time you have tried that- he has sent you away…. Perhaps that “judgment” I mentioned to mALX is one of those hit-or-miss things. Oh yes- Duke Dren… hmmm. And I do not mind the threats- they were for “my own good” after all.

@Olen- You often divine my intentions, even when I am deliberately deceptive- so I am glad I kept you guessing even a little. As to Vvardenfell- well, we shall see. You caught what was, to me, one of the most important lines. And your interpretation of it is, as usual, spot on. And I am glad to see that Julian’s appearance- and her exit- worked for you. And yes- there do seem to be hulking, furry shapes moving in the darkness ahead…

@minque- Thank you so much! And I hope to provide an opportunity for Serene to speak with her eldest child very soon.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------



From The Rules of the Honorable Challenge: A Guide for Nobles (a portion):

A noble of lower rank MAY issue a challenge to a noble of higher rank, provided that certain conditions are met. First, it must be demonstrated that the challenger has suffered or will suffer harm to his livelihood, his own reputation, or the reputation of his House or clan. Second, the challenge must be delivered in person. It is dishonorable to attack or impede a challenger who is in the process of issuing a challenge. To ensure that such impediment is avoided, the challenger will display prominently on his person a black ribbon or pennon while proceeding to issue the challenge. The challenger will conduct no other business, beyond securing transportation or lodging, while bearing the black standard.

Once issued, a challenge MUST be answered, either by trial of arms OR by retraction or repudiation of the words or acts that precipitated the challenge. Only the challenger may make the determination that honor has been satisfied by such retraction or repudiation.


At Indarys Manor, on Vvardenfell:

Two women face one another. Both are beautiful, both have red hair. Green eyes look bemusedly at lavender eyes. Baria, the older woman, raises an inquiring eyebrow, inviting Athynae Sarethi to explain her request for “sanctuary.” As the mother of three, ah- she chooses her words carefully, even in her own mind- active and imaginative children- she has heard many startling pronouncements. But this is a first. When her young visitor does not elaborate, Baria decides to take the direct approach.

“Sanctuary? From what, dear?”

The younger woman raises her chin defiantly. “Aunt Baria, I… I don’t want to get married! Well, I mean, I do… someday. But not now. And not to… him!” Athynae shudders visibly at the thought, then rushes onward. “I mean, I can understand how some people might think it would be a good match, and I suppose he’s handsome enough, in his way… but, EWWW! I just can’t do it. So, I request sanctuary.”

She smiles brightly, as if everything should now be crystal clear.


A letter hidden at a shrine near Glenmoril (a portion):

Sisters, we have been given a task. The Hunter is stirring again, and our Lord wishes to disrupt his rival’s ritual. We must go to Solstheim and prepare ourselves. The Hunter’s creatures are abroad in the night, and a foretelling has come to me. One of the blood of the gods-slayer has drawn the Hunter’s eye. It is for us to twist the Hunter’s plan to suit our Lord’s desires. And we have been given leave to amuse ourselves with the gods-slayer’s child, as well.


On another day at Indarys Manor, Vvardenfell:

Serene took a moment to compose herself before she allowed the retainer to usher her inside Indarys Manor. The pause was uncharacteristic of her, and Darobar looked at her sympathetically. He knew that young Mistress Athynae had appeared two days ago, and that she had then had a private interview with Baria. Parenthood was never easy, especially not for the short-lived. But Serene was, in many ways, a mother to all of Redoran- a strong, nurturing presence to whom the entire House was devoted. So thinking, Darobar relaxed his normally impassive servant’s pose just enough to smile shyly as he murmured,

“A pleasure to see you again, Muthsera. I will inform the lady that you are here.”

Serene’s answering smile was genuine, even though it still betrayed some lurking tension. And Darobar also noticed that her hand reached to touch a worn and scratched journal that peeped from her traveling bag. Oddly, the touch again seemed almost- tentative. What was it about the book that could make the great lady so nervous?