I'm still liking the way you're writing Saya. She's not incompetent, just not used to working as part of a team. She'll improve with training, once she realises she needs it, and I feel that point is getting closer.

I was a little surprised that Pappy didn't remind Morghak who's running the show. But he was busy with the others, so I'll assume he did so privately afterward. If Chance and Valerius could hold her back, she must have calmed down already.

The whole Storm-Tail part added so much to the picture of many of the cast. From his own first words, to Teresa's reactions and Tadrose's concentration on her task.

...

"Hey kid, you look strong enough to pull the ears of a Gundark."

A brilliant chapter...

Loved Pappy's chewing out of Saya...I also loved Teresa's almost admission of admiration when the battlemage healed Storm-Tail...Who is still most definately one of my fave characters...Though, hopefully he and Josse are about to have a giant buddy interlude for several chapters now, yes?... ...

...

...

Oh, no...That's me...I do that...Nevermind...

Amazing stuff...

Loved it!...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

I was wondering if there would be casualties. Teresa’s hope for anyone but Tadrose was very natural, along with her self-reproach after discovering Tadrose was safe.

It’s a relief that Storm-Tail survived, I was hoping to learn more about him.

I need you to stick to him like sugar to a Khajiit's tongue, and make sure nothing happens to him.
What an expression!

We know why Pappy’s the head. He can handle just about any situation, from misbehaving battle mages to young Argonians.

This was such a Teresa moment, it is just like her to have a random but poignient thought in the oddest times! I love what you have done with developing Saya, and took an instant liking to Storm-Tail! As always expected from you, a totally Awesome Write!

Well, I've spent the last week or so squirelling away on this story and, having finally got to page 101 and the end of chapter 43.17, I've got to say that I am seriously impressed by what you've done with this story. You've added your own unique flavour to the game world and even familiar quests have become a fascinating read, added excellent levels of detail to the world and really brought it to life, and then populated with a cast of memorable, realistic and well-developed character, all of whom are a great read (my favourite is definitely Acondil). Teresa herself is an excellent focal point for the entire story, and it's rare to find a character with such depth, complexity and believability to her, an increidbly well-developed character with an excellently written arc.

There has, however, been one thing that's kind of niggled at me while I've been reading this; the storyline seems to have no overarching sense of direction or any real indication that there's an overall plot or goal. It just meanders somewhat, and while it's testament to your skill as a writer that you've managed to keep me interested in this based on your characters alone (Acondil, whoo!), I can't really shake the feeling that this will simply go along with various subplots until it runs out steam instead of hititng a good closing point that's been a visible goal from Act 1. Considering how late in the day this is, I'm not sure how much good that point will be, but it's something that has been at the back of my mind whilst reading this.

In any case, this is still an incredibly good piece of writing, and I'll be awaiting part 43.18 with great eagerness. Good show, old bean, good show!

hazmick: It would have been just too easy if not one of the guild was seriously injured throughout this entire campaign against the goblins. I don't want the greenies to seem like pushovers after all. So I decided to tie something in with Saya leaving the group. Storm-Tail being the newest member, and most inexperienced, he seemed like a good pick. That and I have noticed that he is a favorite of many readers. I felt his injury would carry a great deal of weight.


haute ecole rider: Saya does indeed have a long way to go before she becomes a real team player. As you said, her ego is what gets most in the way. Of course she has a reason for her self-centeredness, even though it was not covered in this chapter. I am not sure if the particulars will ever come out in the TF or not. Unless perhaps I do a Saya fic at some time?


Grits: I never really did cover Teresa and Tadrose doing the deed. It also depends on what you mean by the deed, as girl-on-girl does not necessarily have any kind of penetration as boy-on-girl entails. One of the advantages is that you never even have to take your clothes off to have or give orgasms (I have had plenty fully clothed). From a pure orgiastic standpoint, T&T have definitely done the deed. In any case it felt out of place go into details in this chapter, which is already bursting at the seams word count-wise. So I tried to just allude to it through their behavior at the dinner table, and before hand. They still have not spent the entire night together though. To be honest that strikes me as a bigger sign of trust and commitment than sex. But then I tend to be a quirky person too...


Acadian: "Dollars to Donuts" was exactly what I was going for with that "Sausages" remark by Pappy. I am glad it worked. Likewise with the implied bet between Vincent and Chance. And of course Teresa wished for it to be anyone but her love to be the one wounded. That is just the way of love after all. Naturally, just as you thought, she felt guilty about wishing someone else ill for her own selfish reasons afterward. That is just who our Teresa is.


ghastley: You have zeroed in exactly on how I wanted to portray Saya. She is a hightly skilled mage, but not accustomed to working as part of a team. I imagine that almost all the work she does for the Mages Guild is solo (things like hauntings or other magical strangeness that people hire the Mages Guild to deal with).


McBadgere: Someone got my Star Wars reference! That is exactly the line I was reproducing. I am afraid to say I do not have a Storm-Tail/Mad Josse bromance tale in the works though.


King Coin: The "sugar to the Khajiit tongue" is something I spent a bit of work on. I wanted a good TES equivalent to sayings like "white on rice" or "flies on shite". I got to thinking of the Khajiit caravans in Skyrim, and how they all sell skooma and moon sugar, and it just came to me. Pappy was fun to write in that scene, because as you observed, he knows when to come down like a pile of bricks, and when to use a soft touch. Some work for some people, and some for others. He's had the experience to learn which works best for who.


mALX: It just occurred to me as was writing the ending that both Tadrose and Valerius were or had been Teresa's lovers. And I had not specifically paired them up because of that. Rather because Valerius is a sword and board fighter and Tadrose a two-hander. So it felt like they would complement one another. I had not thought of how they complement one another in other ways!


Colonel Mustard: Hi Mustard! Wow, you read all of that! I know the TF has become a huge read by now. You are correct that it is not a standard 3 act story, with a definite beginning, middle, and ending. Rather I look at it more like a t.v. series, with story arcs that tie multiple episodes together, and sometimes stand-alone tales between the larger arcs. I am afraid to say it is starting to run out of steam finally. I have already gone far past my original expectations. So I might be wrapping it up a few chapters after tying up the remaining loose ends. I have an idea for an Aela fic that I might do at some point. If so that will follow the normal format of storytelling.


Previously On Teresa Of The Faint Smile: Teresa and Saya rejoined the rest of the guild in the main chamber in our last episode. There they found that Storm-Tail had been seriously wounded by the remaining goblin apprentice shaman. Tempers were hot, and there was a near altercation between Saya, her Winged Twilight, Morghak, and Teresa. But Pappy broke it by literally flinging all apart, and directing Saya to heal Storm-Tail. Once the Argonian was revived, Pappy sent him outside to guard Laberius Maesa. In the meantime the others broke up into pairs to mop up the last of the goblin resistance in the side-tunnels.


Chapter 43.18 - Hand of Fire

Teresa was glad when they finally emerged into the roseate light of a westering sun. Tadrose had been true to her word, and the remaining goblins had been finished with little effort. The wood elf's rumbling stomach reminded her that she had not eaten since the morning. She hoped that they would make camp, and supper, soon.

The rest of the guild followed behind her, as did Maesa. Teresa had the sneaking feeling that the Nibenean bureaucrat did not want to remain in the mine alone. That gave her a twinge of satisfaction. Still, she imagined that most normal folk would feel the same about a cave filled with corpses.

Ahead of her, Pappy was speaking in low tones to Saya, who had been uncharacteristically silent since the end of the battle.

"Good judgment comes from experience," she heard the guild commander say, "and experience comes from bad judgment. You got some experience today. What you do with it is gonna decide what kind of battlemage you turn out to be: an old one, or a bold one."

The Dunmer said nothing in reply, but Teresa saw her head nod slightly in acknowledgment. The wood elf could imagine her expression though. It had been as foul as Chamber Pot water ever since the end of the battle.

"Everyone fetches up at least once in the beginning," Pappy went on. "That's part of learning. But we train every day so we don't keep doing it. That's the problem. I never should have brought you along without training with us first. You don't know how we work, and that's my fault."

Teresa thought of Riveus. They had never fought with him before either. Yet the Imperial Forester had performed flawlessly, as if he had been in the guild his entire career. Teresa knew that he was a legionary though, just like Pappy. He had the same training that Pappy gave them. What had Saya been taught at the Arcane University? Did their battlemages receive training in formation-fighting from legion centurions? She imagined not.

"From now on, I want you at the guild hall every morning for drill," Pappy declared. "You can stick around afterward, and I'll teach you a few things about using that mace and shield."

"I have duties at the Mages Guild," Saya finally spoke, "I-"

"Leave that to me." Pappy cut her off. "I'll talk to Kud-Ei. Your boss and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things, but making sure all of you come home alive is one of them. Don't think your special either, I'll have Delphine there too. Our guilds need to learn to work better together. This won't be the last dance we all get invited to."

Saya nodded once more, and lowered her head. Teresa wondered if the guild commander had gotten though the Dunmer's haughty exterior? Only time would tell.

Pappy came to a stop in front of the mining office, and turned to look at the others with a frown. He clutched the staff of the goblin shaman in his hand. A long stave of wood, it bore the severed head of a goblin at its end. The green skin that wrapped the skull was dried out, and stretched tightly across the bone. A black handprint was branded in the center of the forehead, giving it an even more gruesome appearance.

"What's wrong Pappy?" Vincent asked. "We did the job, and didn't lose anyone. It's payday!"

"These fetchers shouldn't be here is what's wrong," Pappy spat in the dust. "It's been bothering me since we first ran into them. These Fire Hands live in Wenyandawik."

Teresa knew that name. It was one of the Arimer ruins near Bravil. She reached down into her Thieves Bag, and after a moment's rummaging she produced her map. Sure enough, it was three day's walk south west of the mine, perhaps four. She could still remember when Carandil had marked it out for her the first day she had met the elven scholar. He had noted all of the Arimer ruins in Bravil County on her map. She had always meant to explore Wenyandawik, but had never found the time to get to it. She imagined that would change shortly…

"So what were the Fire Hands doing here?" Chance asked.

"Clearly this was no raid," Valerius offered. "Their entire tribe had moved here to stay."

"Something forced them to leave," Tadrose said. "Either the ruin became uninhabitable, or something more powerful drove them out."

"Why do I get the feeling that they didn't run out of water, or that the place fell down around them?" Morghak said.

"Verily, the Arimer built their cities well," Ancondil said. "Even after four thousand years, their stones are still strong."

"So what pray tell could have ejected an entire tribe of goblins from their home?" Valerius asked.

"The same thing that's driving trolls from the West Weald and into Bravil County," Teresa said. "Something is out there in the forest."

"And it's damned well time we found out what," Pappy declared.

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Sep 2 2012, 12:42 AM

And that sounds like a wrap of Hand of Fire. Great job.

I suppose you're going to follow the examples of most TV writers and next chapter or two will be something totally different until they get to finding out what's been happening out west? >.>

Ah well, even 'filler' is bound to be yummy.

A cliffhanger!? Oh you are cruel Rosa

This chapter was nice though, Pappy might be angry with Saya but he's a good leader and knows when to shout and when to keep it cool. I'm very interested to see what sort of shenanigans is enough to drive a goblin tribe away, what are you planning? hmmmm...

’Teresa was glad when they finally emerged into the roseate light of a westering sun.’
I fell in love with using ‘westering sun’ after first reading our own Hot Collie Rider use it so eloquently in OHDH. Your addition of ‘roseate’ conjures up the perfect color for an absolutely beautiful opening sentence.

"Good judgment comes from experience," she heard the guild commander say, "and experience comes from bad judgment. You got some experience today. What you do with it is gonna decide what kind of battlemage you turn out to be: an old one, or a bold one."
You knew I would quote this lesson on judgment/experience! I see Pappy and Kud-Ei went to the same school of counseling young ‘uns. And the old versus bold pilot battlemage rang true as well.

"Verily, the Arimer built their cities well," Ancondil said. "Even after four thousand years, their stones are still strong."
As soon as I saw the word ‘verily’, I knew it was Ancondil speaking. Gosh I love that guy!

Yikes! Something foul and strong enough to drive trolls and goblins from their homes.

I love and share your long-running television program analogy. Teresa is a young elf and Cyrodiil is full of adventure. May she (and you) never run out of steam, and treat us to many more seasons of the Teresa Show.

Nit:
"And its damned well time we found out what," Pappy declared.’
I’m sure you want the contraction (it’s) vs the possessive form here.

"Good judgment comes from experience," she heard the guild commander say, "and experience comes from bad judgment. You got some experience today.
What a wonderful line, I seem to remember it in Buffy. Pappy building the Dunmer up again was a great touch and another reason he’s head honcho. Since the guild will likely be working with her again, it would be best to have her cooperation, instead of resentment.

"I have duties at the Mages Guild," Saya finally spoke, "I-"
"Leave that to me."
You’re in for it!

This greater threat in the forest is fascinating, I can’t wait to see what it is!

This post has been edited by King Coin: Sep 2 2012, 01:40 AM

Hmm, never really thought to think of it as a serial style piece. Then again, I hardly ever watch TV, so that's probably why.

In any case, another excellent part, and I loved the little pep-talk Pappy gave to Saya; it's easy to see why he's in charge of the Fighter's Guild, with leadership skills like those. Not only that, but there appear to be dark rumblings in the Ayleid ruins to the north, and I'm realy rather intrigued as to what could be causing those.

Looking forwards to the next part of this, and seeing what the cause of all this could be.

Teresa’s rumbling stomach under a calm sky was a great way to set the scene as well as convey her state of mind. It’s (almost) Miller Tamika’s time!

I enjoyed Pappy’s wisdom and plans for joint ventures with the Mages Guild. It was also fun to learn a little of what battlemage means in Teresa’s world.

"The same thing that's driving trolls from the West Weald and into Bravil County," Teresa said. "Something is out there in the forest."

"And it's damned well time we found out what," Pappy declared.

Oh, this is exciting! I look forward to the tying of loose ends. If you decide to write an Aela fic or someone else’s story, of course I will be reading. Teresa’s world is huge and fascinating. I would love to see it through another set of eyes.

Oooh, fantastic!...

Loved the dressing down Saya got...And that her attempts at backing out of the training were simply waved away... ...

Wonder what's driving everything away?...Looking forward to finding out!!...

Is that Ayelid ruin name yours or in-game?...Either way...Brilliant name!!...

Excellent stuff!!...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

@McB: Wenyandawik is in game. It's one of the locations of the Ayleid statues that you gather for a certain slimy Altmer back in the Imperial City. You know, the Collector (Umbacano). Gods know I've done that quest dozens of times, just to get the money for a house and a white horse!

@Teresa: Like Acadian, I was struck by the first sentence of this chapter segment.

Like a real television series, you have completed one mission and given us a foreshadowing of another, yet more sinister one to come for our intrepid heroes (thinking Once Upon a Time here). I look forward to learning what it could be.

Again you have shown us what a cool-headed leader Pappy is. It was good to see him acknowledge the differences between him and Kud-Ei, yet at the same time touch on the most fundamental similarity - get everyone home alive. Like Malone said: "Here endeth the lesson."

Well having just been down to Leyawiin in my game, I've figured out what's driving everything this way. Dar-Jee's telling his jokes again.

Seriously, though, that's one nice wrap-up of that piece, and onto the next. Can we hope for Saya making up for her mistakes in the next part?

I can just imagine it. Valerius and Tadrose killing goblins. Comparing notes. Discussing past affairs. Tadrose realizing that there's probably a straight elf in Bravil right now, very similar to Teresa, that Valerius really should meet.

So, the trolls are being driven out of the woods, the goblins are high-tailing it out of their old homes, and Pappy smells something funny.

Are the Thalmor already screwing things up? Did a certain somebody steal a certain item that set up a certain scenario with certain repercussions that a different certain somebody has to stop, having failed to stop said certain scenario?

Do I use "certain" too much?

Certainly Not!

Well I've caught up, as ever it was a pleasure to read. Lots of action in that part, but interspersed with enough character interaction to keep both fresh. The characters really make this piece, it almost reminds me more of a long running soap opera than 'normal' fantasy. What there isn't in overarching plot there is in shorter subplots and recurring themes (what could shift so much wildlife around, well I think I can guess and it goes back to a much earlier part...) with character development holding it together. If you hadn't guessed I like it.

The tactics were all well thought out in the last chapter, nice to see Pappy doing his stuff. Drawing the goblins out to make them the attackers was quite clever, avoids nasty close in stuff in the cave, well a bit anyway. I must say the tactic which sprung to my mind was poison gas but that doesn't strike me as Pappy's style.

The inclusion of the Winged Twilight was unexpected, they weren't in Oblivion were they? I remember them from Morrowind so it makes sense, and with Saya being a Dunmer the connection to Azura does too. Their uncertain relationship has promise to be an interesting insight into how your version of that magic works, certainly kept me wondering.

Interesting to see the continuing development of T&Ts relationship. Often the getting together is the end of it, but I should have known you'd make it that bit more complex and real. They seem to be in the getting used to what it means and actually getting to know each other in that capacity (as opposed to their public faces) stage. I do suspect that there might be a shared room or even a house apart from the guild in the future, if Tadrose can be enticed that far from her forge, but that might be quite a while off.

Or maybe leaving the guild? They've had a bit of a scare with Teresa making a mistake and Stormtail took a bit of a roasting which might have been ugly if Saya had gotten herself killed (so in some capacity Teresa saved him, though they seem to do that a fair bit so who's counting). I wonder how well they will cope with knowing the other is in danger and Teresa's alchemy would prove saleable along with Tadrose's smithing. That would lead to returning to normal society though. It was interesting to see Teresa thinking of the IC and the people there. She's changed a lot, which is particularly evident in her thoughts about Methredhel. Previously Methredhel was the leader and Teresa looked up to her, now I suspect it might be the other way round.

*

I loved Teresa's inner thoughts as she's comparing Riveus and Saya's skills vs backgrounds here, and wondering (technically where the Arcane is failing to send out Battlemages that are battle ready)



I loved this scene, and especially Pappy's statement - the guilds working together is a great idea that I wish the game employed! You have Pappy's personality so developed that I can hear him saying those lines!





WOO HOO! LOVED this! I see some excitement ahead, can't wait! Awesome Write, as always SubRosa !!!

*

Treydog back ... check.
Destri back ... check.

SubRosa ... ... SubRosa ... ...

You are missed.





This post has been edited by mALX: Jan 16 2013, 01:37 AM

Oooh, oooh, thread's got a new post! Thread's got a new post! It's an update! ToFS has been updated!

*Bounds into thread, eager to read the new part. Realises there is none*

Dammit mALX, you got my hopes up fer nuthin'...