Kayla has been infected?

So, that journal was left there for a reason? Hmmm...Ma'Dat could be right about it being a trap, but for all we know Asta could just be trying to tick Kayla off by leaving clues without enough evidence!




For some reason I really enjoyed the way you described this! It was simply epic to imagine!



I enjoyed reading this chapter a lot, excellent job

Right, well I've read this through in one sitting, which is always a sign that a story has managed to hook me.

Consider me hooked.

You certainly have a talent for creating interesting characters - sympathetic characters one minute, whilst making me want to slap some sense into them the next. Especially Onmund, well perhaps more accurately the relationship that you evoked between Nisse/ Kayla and Onmund. Funny one minute, destructive the next (the scene where Onmund comes in drunk, and his explanation after was superb. I really hated him one moment, and really felt I understood him the next), and unbearably sad.

Perhaps that's what struck me the most. Humour and adventure, pathos and sadness, and a sense of emotional truth. There were scenes (the above mentioned and the flashback of Nisse in the cellar spring to mind), where I truly and completely was in the moment, disturbed by the emotions you were bringing up in me.

Like I said, consider me hooked.

Story. Good. More! - please

Wow, just...WOW. that really caught me off guard, Burnt Sierra. Thank you for your compliments. I kind of needed them, lol

I'm caught up again! Onmund's death was a shock. Holy crap I don't think anyone saw that coming. Ma'Dat is such a cool character that you introduced in her memories as a child and then brought back when she sets out on her mission of vengeance. You better not kill him by the way. I like your version of Lydia too. Much more of a sense of humor than most portrayals.

*Applauds massively*...

Dear Gods, I thought this story was good before...

This has really hit some sort of different gear!!...*Unsure of what smiley will suffice here*...



It's going to be sooo long before anyone finds out why I grinned like a loon when I read that...But still...*Applauds while grinning*...

The whole thing was amazing...

Ooooh shiver inducing moment btw...



Loved that!!...

An amazing chapter...Truly amazing stuff...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Let's see if anyone else gets it XD

I....I think I get it.

‘I made a fist and willed my arm to connect with Ma'Dat's head, but it wouldn't move.’
How frustrating! The mouth puncher laid low by paralysis.

A roller coaster here. Has the old Khajiit gone over to the dark side? Maybe not. Okay – no, for sure. In fact, he may be Kayla’s savior. You did a nice job with Ma'Dat here.

The hints regarding possible size and scope of Asta’s web are terrifying. She may appear a child, but she's had nearly two decades to hone her skills.

*

First off, I am so sorry it took so long to get here and read - very hectic week.





These were wonderfully written and immersive - very natural feel here! Wonder what is up with Ma'Dat? Holy Crap! From the point where Ma'Dat paralyzes Kayla to the end - I'd have to quote the whole section!

I thought it was funny that Erik immediately trusted/believed Ma'Dat (who just poisoned his good friend, was acting unlike himself, and rifled through her things without her permission) - Kayla is surrounded by people who will turn on her at the drop of a hat! First Onmund, now Ma'Dat and Erik - No wonder Kayla feels safest when she is a loner!

Riveting storyline, I am loving it! Awesome and very immersive Write !!!


*

This post has been edited by mALX: Feb 28 2013, 07:10 AM

I wanted to thank everyone for their comments. I appreciate them! :]


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I awoke groggy and stiff. Ma'Dat was lighting another lantern to light the dark room up when I opened my eyes. I groaned. A thump turned my head to my left, and Erik jumped at the sound of the book in his hands hitting the floor. He blinked a few times and turned my way.

"Kayla!" He kneeled next to the bed as I sat up. "How are you feeling?"

"Bucket."

"What?"

"BUCKET!"

Ma'Dat had a bucket ready when I leaned over and vomited. Erik gagged and stood up.

"Is that normal?!" He exclaimed, holding his nose and coughing.

"Yes," Ma'Dat said as I threw up again. He shot Erik a sly look. "You want to be an adventurer, but you can't even stand vomit." His tail flicked mischievously.

Erik scowled, but didn't reply. I spat and wiped my mouth, shuddering. I crossed my arms, gasping.

"Nisse needs to breathe slow," Ma'Dat said calmly, "Otherwise more vomiting will happen." I took in a slow, deep breath through my nose. A stray bit of vomit got caught in my throat and I leaned over, vomiting again. Erik left the room.

"How long was I out?" I wiped my mouth with the cloth Ma'Dat handed me. He returned to the papers on the desk.

"6 hours," He shuffled some papers and straightened them out. "Erik and Ma'Dat have learned what you have. We have suspicions about Asta." He narrowed his eyes at me. "We think she is following you. Infecting you. That is why you came back infected." Ma'Dat rubbed his temples with one hand. "Nisse, tell Ma'Dat the truth. Where is Lydia? Did Nisse harm her?"

"No! I would never-" I gulped. "I left her in Solitude. Just walked out at night. And then..."

Ma'Dat's ears flattened. "And then what?"

"I...don't know. I kept walking. Until I got to Pinemoon cave, where I found the journal. I killed anything I came across and interrogated who I could. What are you looking at me like that for?"

Ma'Dat's face was drawn back in a snarl. His ears were flattened completely and his tail was swishing dangerously.

"Asta's influence goes back farther than Ma'Dat thought," He hissed. "Ma'Dat thinks Asta has been near Nisse this whole time. Ever since Asta killed Nisse's mate."

"Wha..." My mouth wouldn't work. It hung open, and I took in a deep breath. "How did you figure this out?"

"Erik did." Ma'Dat snorted. "Ma'Dat has been hunting vampires for thirty years, and a whelp of a boy who can't even swing his sword correctly caught it."

"Don't even start that again." I rolled my eyes. Ma'Dat chuckled. He slid from the bench to the bed and sat down next to me. I put my arms around him in a hug and sighed. He grasped me back, and gave me a gentle squeeze.

"Nisse needs to stop getting herself into trouble. It worries Ma'Dat. This old cat is not a cub anymore."

I smiled and pulled back. "Remember when you, Nedene, and Jon brought me back to the city?"

Ma'Dat grinned. "You held onto my tail for dear life." His tailed swished beside him. "I never understood why you clung to me, but never to the Mer woman or the Nord man. Surely they were less frightening to a sheltered child than a Cat-Man?"

"Out of the three of you, you were the only one to rush towards me and pick me up when I fell. You didn't care that I stunk, nor did you make fun of me for stinking. You let me cling to you. You were gentle, and that was exactly what I needed at the time." I leaned my head on his shoulder. Ma'Dat patted my arm lovingly.

"This one is sorry for the deception. But those infected with the disease-"

"Don't want it to be cured. I know. You act like I am new to this."

Ma'Dat smiled. "And yet Nisse keeps getting infected like she is." The tip of his tail flicked. He was nervous. "Ma'Dat has a contact in Riften. A Bosmer in the Thieves Guild."

"The Thieves Guild?" I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Why would you send me there?"

"Do not judge, Nisse, for Ma'Dat was a thief before he pledge himself to Meridia."

"Oh." Open mouth, insert boot.

"Do not worry. Ma'Dat made a terrible thief. A conscience makes for a terrible ally when thieving." The whiskers on his face twitched, and his eyes slid to the door half a moment before Erik opened it. He looked green.

"Gods, it smells like vomit in here!"

My mouth twitched in a smile, and Ma'Dat's whiskers twitched in a similar fashion. Ma'Dat handed Erik the bucket with my vomit in it, and Erik gagged, running from the room. The old cat wheezed a laugh and I snorted.

"You're terrible to him! The poor man!" I laughed. Ma'Dat set the bucket by the doorway and sat back down next to me.

"The contact in Riften. We must get back to that. Niruin knows the underground workings like only a thief can. If anyone has an idea of where Asta is, it would be him." Ma'Dat suddenly grabbed one of my shoulders with his hand and looked me straight in the eye. There was a wild look about his face, and suddenly I was very frightened.

"Nisse needs to remember what Ma'Dat is about to say. And do not forget it. The world of thievery is perilous. Sometimes those who pretend to be Nisse's friend are the worst villains of all."

As suddenly as it appeared, the wild look vanished, and Ma'Dat was again, composed. His lips pulled back in that almost-curled smile that Khajiit have as he continued like he had never temporarily gone mad.

"Ma'Dat has already sent a courier to Niruin. He will be expecting you. Rest up. It is still night, but Erik and Ma'Dat will keep looking through your findings."

I nodded and laid back down. Ma'Dat grabbed the bucket full of my vomit, and, with a mischievous wink, closed the door behind him. I heard Erik wail in disgust. I laughed, harder than I had in a while.

I THOUGHT SO!

Kayla needs vampire repellent. You know, like repellent for bugs, except this one's for vampires? Eh? I'm not funny



Excellent chapter! I can really see the bond Kayla and Ma'Dat share!

Great write my friend

So Asta's been close at hand the whole time, eh? Cunning girl, she is. Very, very cunning indeed. And what's happening with Lydia?!

I loved Ma'Dat in these last two chapters, especially the way he was ribbing Erik all the time; that was a lot of fun to read, and a good way to keep the tone from descending into complete darkness and despair. I liked it, a lot.

Kayla can't descend into darkness and despair again. At least right now XD I don't have the heart to get into that mindset and write that right now. Can't handle it.

The intrigue surrounding Asta continues to grow.

You did a great job in this episode of adding a constant and setting-appropriate source of chuckles that wove through this quite otherwise serious scene – the ever present bucket of Erik-slaying.

Ma’Dat continues to shine, and consulting the guild of thieves has always been a useful tactic when seeking to pull information from shadows.

First off, I am so sorry it took so long to get here and read - very hectic week.

Now... GAAAAAH! I still don't trust Ma'Dat! Half the time he is the cat she knows, the rest he is acting strange - Kayla may be tired and weak, but she hasn't slept so has an excuse. Maybe Ma'Dat is knocking her out to give her the disease for Asta! Urk !!!

I must say, I was glad NOT to have eaten anything before the beginning of this chapter, urgh, lol.


Awesome Write!

Hmm, I suppose Ma'Dat doesn't explain enough to completely take away all suspicion but his story makes enough sense to me. Consider:

1: Kayla planned to present a vampire head to the Daedric prince of the Spanish Inquisition. She even had said head ready. But she didn't go to Meridia. I guess Meridia wouldn't be very appreciative of having her champion infected.

2: If Akrya likes her journals so much, why does she leave them behind every time they pack up?

Glad Ma’Dat is more prepared than Erik is.

Oh my gosh, scary thinking that Lydia could be dead, infected, or… just fine like Kayla thinks.

Poor Erik! Funny how Ma’Dat goes from all business one moment, to tormenting Erik the next.

Interesting. I re-read this post a couple of times, as I was trying to decide myself whether Ma'Dat could be trusted, and whilst Cloudy makes good points there, it still doesn't quite explain this bit:



Foreshadowing or genuine concern? And the wild look from nowhere? Hmm. And is it just me, or does this seem a little convenient?



Could that be subtle manipulation? Reading back the previous post to this, it strikes me that Ma'Dat may have been giving Eric just enough information for him to come to that conclusion himself...maybe.

Oooh, I do so love a puzzle!!! Sorry for the quote fest - and I didn't even quote some of the lines that made me chuckle! - but it had to be done

Terrific story, truly enjoying this...

S.G.M. - please

-rubs hands together laughing maniacally-

I will not be updating tomorrow. It's been a busy week, and was planning on pulling an all-nighter to finish the chapter but in light of recent events (robbery/shooting in front of my damn door) I will be moving. So packing all day for the next few days. I will still be on, however, not sure when I will be able to focus long enough to write.