Good luck! I hope we get to hear about his adventures!



Some may recall the earlier tales of Duralekh gro-Bulsakh, axe-wielding orc adventurer. Big D is married to Sylgja and travels with Erik the Slayer.

Duralekh and the Slayer have been on an extended fishing trip while we waited for DLC to come to the PS3. They returned to find that sweet Sylgja had renovated part of Honeyside’s lower level into a children’s room. Thankfully she saved the Bulsakh’s axe collection. Rather than displayed all over the walls they’re now shoved in a drawer.

Duralekh didn’t mind. After all, she didn’t complain that he had been off fishing for months but never caught any fish.

Sylgja did have a task in mind for the presently unemployed adventurers. She asked that they deliver another satchel of letters to her parents at Darkwater Crossing.

The men headed for the road after gathering up a goodly supply of ale and mead. Excitement greeted them right outside the gate in the form of a blood dragon. They had gotten far too much sun out on the lake, so the dragon’s frost attacks were fairly refreshing.

Afterward they joined the assortment of guards, stable hands, and battle horses for the traditional viewing of the corpse.

Big D had something on his mind. “Do you think Sylgja’s in a family way?” he asked Erik. He didn’t want to suspect his sweet wife of anything, but even the mighty Bulsakh could not impregnate a woman from across the lake. Probably.

“Uh,” said Erik.

“I mean, can an orc and a Nord even have a… Are you feeling all right?”

The Slayer was looking a little green despite his sun and frost burns. “D, you know I can’t take that kind of… lady talk.” He looked like he might hurl.

“Say, don’t I know you?” a guard said to the Bulsakh. It seemed that Big D had put an arrow into one of the horses during the fight. The horse wasn’t too upset, so the guard let them go without paying the 5 Septim bounty.

The mail-carrying warriors made a quick trip back into town to sell some dragon bones, pick up more ale, and verify that Mrs. D did not have a bun in the oven. They reached Darkwater Crossing without further incident.

Annekke Crag-Jumper (Big D’s mother-in-law) was nowhere to be found. Verner Rock-Chucker (D’s father-in-law) was in the mine. Mining. He didn’t look up the whole time they talked to him.

“Annekke used to help out in the mine. But now she’s a bit of a bounder,” Verner told them.

D and the Slayer exchanged a look. Here he goes again.

“I love my wife,” Verner continued. “But…”

Big D did not listen to the rest of Verner’s bitch session. He handed over his half of the letters and walked back outside.

The sun was smiling on Darkwater Crossing. It would be a long, sweaty hike back up the mountain. But first Duralekh wanted to check that dragon lair out on the tundra while they were in the neighborhood. Another one might be roosting there, and he should keep his in-laws safe.

Big D watched the river for a few minutes. He wondered if he could survive a ride down the waterfall. The Slayer eventually interrupted his thoughts.

“She’s building a homestead in Falkreath Hold,” said the Slayer.

“Who?” D is not the sharpest axe on the rack.

“Lady Mara. Who do you think? Annekke went to Falkreath, became Thane of the hold, bought a parcel of land, and is now building a manor there.” Erik waved the bundle of remaining letters. “We should take these to her. Come on, it will be an adventure!”

The Bulsakh agreed. But first they needed to check out that dragon lair.

Big D Ballsack is back! Glad to see you finally picked up the green giant's game once more.

Thanks, SubRosa! I am SO EXCITED to have Big D back in action. He is a pure delight.

I was wondering whatever happened to Big D. Isn't he the one who was part of the "D Team"? Or am I thinking of one of your others?

Big D is good-looking for an orc, by the way.



Thanks, and I'm probably not gonna write too much about Über Kness, since he's supposed to be a 'test' character. I've got to have some Skyrim time where I just game out, know what I mean? Everything LHM does pretty much gets written up (except bodily functions) and it'll be cool to have some pure gaming time once again.

But here's a shorty: Über Kness is still Level 1. He made it to Riverwood, learned a few things about Smithing from Hadvar, did some moseying around in Riverwood, and then headed to Whiterun. And then just as he was entering the Whiterun gates, my Xbox finally had a glitch: it froze! Yikes. I had no idea when the last gamesave was (probably back in Riverwood) and I didn't feel like going back that far.

This post has been edited by Lady Saga: Feb 27 2013, 09:58 PM

Lol, yes! Erik the Slayer has a Staff of Zombies, so there is sometimes a surprise addition to the D Team. I remember once he resurrected a necromancer and craziness ensued. Plus now he (Erik) has flame atronach and familiar staffs. Big D never knows who the Slayer will bring to the fight!

That is sooo awesome Grits!!! makes me chuckle!

One more thing about my new Imperial: I tried to make him similar-looking to an Oblivion NPC guard, so he's kinda goofy-looking. I'll post a pic tomororw.

He also sounds like Sean Bean and talks kinda like a Cyrodiil soldier or guard. A Whiterun guard just said something like "Judging by your ahhmoh, you look like an Imperial Scout". So that's it. That's his class! Imperial Scout! ... It's almost like in Oblivion where the Redguard Blade who stands over the dead Emperor tries to guess our class!



This post has been edited by Lady Saga: Feb 28 2013, 12:19 AM

Ah, Draken and pre-Dawnguard. Pre as in a few days before he found out about the DG. Here's how it went.

[b]***

Draken was running as fast as his condition could permit. It was nearly five am and the sun was rising on the horizon. With all of his vampiric stamina, he sprinted through the swampy wilderness to reach a nearby cave. The more he ran, the more it seemed the sun would rise quicker than it should.

And that it did. In an instant, when he was nearing the cavern, a glare to one side of his face hurt and his eyes. He came to see that there were scorching sunbeams all around him, blazing down toward him. The golden rays surrounded him like a volley of deadly flaming arrows. To make matters worse, the wounds he suffered minutes ago would not heal and his exposed blood would sooner evaporate.

“Delightful,“ the Imperial vampire muttered. Deeply peeved by his precarious situation, he automatically tried to run faster but saw that the daylight hour would not allow for he felt weaker. He felt his vampiric blood boiling in the sunlight.


Damn you to perdition, Magnus! The beam touched the back of his neck and his hands, causing his exposed pale flesh to burn and sizzle instantly. Draken removed a potion of fatigue and gulped down the contents, giving him enough strength to rush into Movarth’s Lair.

He ran off, wincing in pain as thin white tendrils of smoke steamed out from his scalded knuckles. He leapt into the muddy marches of Hjaalmarc and then exhaled as the cold dampness cooled away his scorched flesh. The refreshing feeling motivated him to leap out and make a final run for the cave, which finally came within reach.

By Molag, he thought. I knew I should have left an hour earlier from that necromancer infested fort.

Having learned his lesson for the day, he kept motionless, not moving a muscle as he stared cautiously at the luminous rays of the sun glowing from the cave‘s entrance. Any vampire’s undefeated enemy! Not one Nosferatu could truly be happy under those malevolent shiny beams.

To his chagrin, he was now in the lair of the rival vampires. The thin-blooded rabble who dwelled near Morthal. Territorial blood-snorters, they were. Savage. Barbaric and ultimately, deserving to taste the end of a katana. But Draken was in no desire to spill blood. He just wanted to stay away from the sun . . .and to sate his thirst.

How long would he be trapped here? Too long. Sunset was a good thirteen hours away. Draken groaned. This is going to be a long day. But what is a day to a four century old vampire? Immortality can be tiresome at times. Sitting by as a spectator to watch the never-ending waves of history flow, striving to maintain speed with the mind-boggling changes in governments and civilizations. Even the most resilient vampire ancient feels the need to retire from the world, to spend a century or two in blissful slumber, before rising from the grave to confront the future with renewed and refreshed wisdom and foresight.

It might just be that time of year again . . .Draken told himself as he descended into the steps. But he didn’t want to go back into the earth, not when he just returned to the world of the living after the Oblivion Crisis had ended. His awakening brought forth only bad news. The Thalmor has risen, dragons had returned, the empire is in shambles . . .he's awaken into a world of chaos.

If I can pack my possessions and send myself off to a Daedric Realm, I would be quite well . . .if only there was something to make me tarry awhile longer. Something meaningful.

Renee, did I ever mention that Mikke of Green River started off as sort of a test character? I wanted to try out Dawnguard and wasn't up for another serious character. I guess she showed me!

DE, that’s great! My vampires always found that sprint to shelter and then the long wait crouched in some cave to be humiliating. I guess it could be motivation to secure shelters all over the place. Hmm…
___

I got a little more time with the Bulsakh tonight.

The lair was indeed occupied by a dragon. It was flying around the tundra making all kinds of ruckus. Big D lost track of Erik on the way to the fight. The dragon spotted him on open ground, and it was very touch-and-go for a while. And at one point a frickin mud crab bit him while the dragon was roasting them both with fire.

The fight brought him over near a two-giant love nest on the far side of the tundra (by the abandoned prison). One giant joined the fracas. The dragon died. Big D did some self-healing and went cautiously over to check out the corpse.

The giant began using his club as a backscratcher, so D figured they must be friends.

One daedric arrow was sticking out of the dragon. It must be the Slayer’s! He got a shot off at least. Hopefully he made it past the mudcrab.

Then things got confusing. Erik came running up, and in the middle of D’s joyful greeting he heard the giant make an unhappy sound behind him. Then the Slayer ran right past D and attacked the giant! D had already experienced his Berserker Rage during the dragon fight, and he could not back away to get room to shoot without endangering Erik. Also as soon as D got his axes out the other giant bounded up the hill and joined the fight.

Erik went to his knees as the first giant toppled over dead onto him. Big D took the second giant on by himself. Thankfully he had a paralysis poison he picked up somewhere. He may even have bought it from his wife. Sylgja is the alchemist in the family.

Anyway they both made it. Right now they are standing between two giant corpses and an already rotting dragon. (This was one of the bugged ones.) They are loaded down with loot that the giants were carrying (I don’t even want to think about digging around under those loincloths), and of course they did manage to rip some bones out of the dragon. Next stop, the dragon’s lair. Those fetchers always have a nice pile of stuff they’ve collected. Of course Big D has no use for most of it. Maybe they’ll find a nice axe.

I've done that with my vampires! Running for the nearest safe area before the sun comes up! Actually Mycharonna's habit is to find the next safe area, and then she'll just stick around this safe cave or cabin (whatever it is) the rest of the night, especially if she does not know where the road she's on is leading to. So sometimes, even if it is not even midnight, she will stop her travels for the night, dispose of any enemies (if there are any) and mosey around (or sleep) the rest of the night + day.

Great story DE, seems like you're enjoying your new DLCs.

Grits I did not know that about Mikke. Ha ha what a thrilling story! That was a dim move by Erik! Taking on a friendly giant! WTH?

Here is Über Kness, by the way. Try looking at him from a distance. I tried to give him oversized, goofy features, as if he's a guard from TES: IV. This doesn't seem to come across unless he's viewed from a distance, though.

Can't you just hear him saying "You have my ear, Citizen."

This post has been edited by Lady Saga: Feb 28 2013, 05:13 PM

Today, J'Zirlo learnt how to forge Stalhrim armour and swords at the Skaal village smithy...

And I've decided I need to forge and enchant me (J'Zirlo) a complete set of fortify smithing stuff...At the mo, with the per-cent uppers I've got, my armour rating currently stands at 1187...Yes, I have the Heavy Armour, full-set perk stuff...But still, if I make a complete set of 20% fortify stuff, and then work on improving the armour even more, it'll possibly go from Legendary to Completely-Absurd rated... ...

My Stalhrim sword is 122 killy-stab-stab...I am pleased by this...My one-handed is actually only 97 at the mo... ...

So, some of you might remember my borderline psychotic Dark Elf Pyromancer from earlier in this thread, Terrena Calmenin. Whilst I was having absurd amounts of fun playing her and also writing up her escapades in her journal, after a glitch effectively broke her game, I ended up scrapping it. But I liked writing up her combination of childlike naivety, psychosis and general, genuine stupidity, so I figured; 'sod it, I'm starting her game again.' And considering that half of the fun of playing Terrena was writing in her diary, here it is once more; extracts from the diary of Terrena Calmenin.

Some background; my Random Start mod plonked me down near Dawnstar, so Terrena's background is...

*Drumroll*

Docking in Dawnstar after migrating from Solstheim as part of her yet to be worked out mysterious and dramatic background! Low on cash, low on supplies and with only the robes on her back, a few potions and beautiful, all-consuming flame that she can send flying from the palms of her hands, she's off to make it big in the world of Skyrim!



Dear Diary

So I'm starting this diary as I was told it might be a good idea to put my thoughts and ideas down on paper instead of putting them into practical application, as suggested by Erandur. I'm not sure why, but apparently practical application of my ideas isn't popular around these parts. 'Because the buildings are wooden' was the reason I was given, but as far as I can see, that's a good idea to apply; it means more fire for everyone!

You know what I don't get? Why I'm supposed to start these with 'Dear Diary'. I mean, everyone does it, but I don't know why. It's like a letter you're writing to nobody. Unless there's a person in this diary that you're supposed to talk to. Is that? Is there a person in this diary. There's space here if you want to say something, Diary.




Come on, don't be shy.





Come on.





Oh fine, don't. Be that way.

Anyway, I was told it would be good for me to find something to do, so I went to see if there were any odd jobs available. If I have stuff to do then I'm less likely to burn things, Erandur says. I don't know what his problem with that is, really. He's boring.

So I went and found Captain Wayfarer, down on the dock. He had a pirate ship with him. I figured he'd either want me as a pirate (arrr!) or there might be some work for me to do.

-------------

"Ahoy captain!"

"Oh. It's you. You're that crazy Dunmer, aren't you?"

"I be a Dunmer, captain, aye!"

"Er, yes. Why are you talking like that?"

"I be interested in pirating, captain."

"I'm a merchant, not a pirate. And I'd...I'd rather you didn't come on my ship."

"I...oh. That's disappointing. I wanted to be a pirate."

"Maybe you can find another pirate ship to sail on. Not mine, though. Please stay away from my ship."

"Everyone says to stay away from their things; 'stay away from my ship, Terenna. Stay away from my personal library, stay away from my house, stay away from my family!' It's not fair. Anyway, do you want help?"

"I guess I've got something for you to do. I had a shipment of refined void salts that one of my sailors lost in a cave; it's worth some pretty big money and you'll get a good cut if you bring them to me."

"Sure thing, Captain Wayfarer."

"It's Captain Wayfinder. But the cave's miles away. Miles and miles away from here. Several days travel, I think. At least."

"I'll get them for you, sure."

-----------

So I went walking across Skyrim. It was fun. I met lots of people. I met some of them in a Dwemer ruin and they got mad at me for some reason and started trying to attack me so I burned them and they stopped. They were mean. There were some Dwemer machines there too, and they started attacking as well so I burned them to and they stopped. I don't know why there are so many mean people around nowadays. It makes me sad.

It took me a while, but I found the cave. I stopped in Morthal along the way and did some alchemy and played hide and seek too. I was amazing and the all-round champion of Hide and Seek ever. Ever. The best. And telling the kid who was looking for me that I'd burn him alive if he found me is not cheating. It's taking the initiative.

And I found the salts. And burned some wolves. And a necromancer. And got paid 500 gold. And it was good.




Screencap: Pretty view


This post has been edited by Colonel Mustard: Mar 10 2013, 10:21 PM

Cheers, Saga!

Dear Diary

Today was a busy day. It started with Frida from the Mortar and Pestle asking me to go to a nearby cave to get her a ring. It was quite near Dawnstar, but over a lot mountains. I had to go through a mountain pass on the way there, and I met some Necromancers there. I wanted to be friends with them, but they didn't want to, so I had to burn them, as fire makes bad people go away. Skyrim needs more nice people.

The cave itself had a lot of Draugr in it, and none of them seemed to like me disturbing them. I think they were sleeping, and they might have got annoyed when I took all of their gold. I don't blame them for trying to kill me; I get like that in the morning sometimes. Once I killed them all, I got the Ring of Pure Mixtures, and a wall yelled at me as well. I shouted back at it but it didn't yell again; I always find you've got to stand your ground when walls shout at you, they won't give you trouble again.

Once I was done, I decided I might go and explore the area a little while I was there. And whilst I was exploring, I met some friends! Two friends! One was an Argonian named Beem-Ja and the other was a Redguard called Salma. They were going into another old Nord tomb called Ironbind Barrow, and wanted all the treasure inside, and I said I'd help them. So we went inside, and we had to deal with the draugr in there as well as some spiders (I hate spiders! Yuck!).

Once we'd dealt with all the Draugr, and defeated the one that was in charge of all the rest, Beem-Ja suddenly turned and said that he needed me to be a blood sacrifice for him. That upset Salma and then she killed him for it. I'm just used to it so I didn't take it personally; a lot of my friends have tried to use me as a blood sacrifice before.

Salma seemed upset about Beem-Ja trying to use me as a blood sacrifice, even though I said it wasn't the first time it happened, but she didn't seem interested in any more of the loot in the barrow even though that was why she was there before. That meant I got lots of shiny things!

The shiniest of the shiny things I got was a circlet. It was just made of copper and had some moonstones in it, but it had an enchantment on it to make it easier for me to cast destruction spells so it was good. [Mustard's note: that, combined with Terrena levelling up to level 4 and getting the perk that halves the casting cost of apprentice-level Destruction spells, is an absolute godsend. Allows me to play Terrena as the walking firebolt-machine gun that she's meant to be played as] One day I shall have a circlet made from gold and diamonds, and it shall be my crown when I am queen. Of somewhere.

Right now I'm in the Nightgate Inn, writing this up. I'm going to go back to Dawnstar tomorrow and see what Frida can teach me about alchemy. Maybe she has something else fun for me to do too.

I agree, some of those early perks really improve our character's early existence.

What? XDDDD

Yeah, definitely. I've got to say, Skyrim's difficulty curve can be kind of odd as a result, though; it can be pretty damn hard as a starting character and then, as you improve, it gets much easier. To be fair on Bethesda, they're going to have trouble tailoring the game to the multiple different kinds of characters you play, and it does give you a feel of accomplishment and progress as you get better, but it's tricky early on.

I’m enjoying Terenna’s diary, Mustard. BTW I used to call mine “Letters To Myself.”


I started a New Jensa on the Xbox because for one the original Jensa’s game was suffering from gigantism after 300 or so hours, and two she wants to kill some vampires.

I thought she would do things in roughly the same order, but it turns out that New Jensa is the SAME Jensa. (She may have talked to Jerric about slipping the bonds of game mechanics. Gods help me if that’s the case.) So she went straight to Windhelm to make an honest man of Stenvar, never mind about fighting the war first. They live at Candlehearth Hall since she can’t buy Hjerim yet. They have to pay for their room every time they sleep there. This does not bother Jensa. And she does not want to buy a different house, because they live at Hjerim. She just doesn’t have the key right now.

Anyway Jensa was not thrilled with Serana’s company, and while she did not exactly sass Lord Harkon she was not humble in his presence either. Now she and her man Stenvar are on their way back to Fort Dawnguard.

In her old game Jensa was wearing light stalhrim armor for dungeons and hide or fur for general use. I was completely shocked when New Jensa put on some Elven armor with her Dawnguard gauntlets and boots. She really hates the Thalmor, enough to go to war. But I guess she has grown up enough to associate elven armor with Altmer style, not just the hated Thalmor. Anyway I was surprised. And BTW she looks hot.

Also I was glad that I did not have to endure another Forsworn bikini phase. But she is still in hide for most occasions.

What else? Oh, Erik the Slayer. Erik disappeared from Jensa’a original game. He never made it home after she dismissed him in Windhelm. I thought she would be overjoyed to see him again and possibly invite him to travel along while her old man puts his feet up in Windhelm. But she is quite cool toward Erik. I guess after all of the getting over a broken heart and then she thought he was dead business, she’s a little pissed that he didn’t even send her a note.

Skill-wise she’s the same. Light armor, greatsword, block, archery, alchemy, and sneak, with conjuration for her (useless) wolf familiar. Oh please oh please, I want some animal summonings in my DLC someday.

Very cool about new Jensa, I hope to see a 'hot' pic. I know what you mean about 2nd edition characters behaving differently from first edition.

What do you mean about "giganticism?" lol @ Bikini Forsworn comment!



Yeah, so true! Mycharonna' and Lord Haaf-Mersey's games both felt difficult and challenging in the beginning even though they are on Apprentice difficulty. But with Uber Kness, he simply mows through his enemies with his 2-handed battleaxe! I had to put his game back on Adept; otherwise every enemy was a 2 to 4-hit kill.

This post has been edited by Lady Saga: Mar 14 2013, 01:50 AM

Her file is really big. Plus she was started before the first patch, so that's probably taken its toll.

Catching up with Big D:


The Bulsakh made his way to the empty mountaintop lair without any more trouble. Erik got sidetracked somewhere, so Big D picked up the loot and started walking toward Kynesgrove. He was going pretty slowly because he was over encumbered. The sun set. The moons rose behind clouds. No Slayer.

Finally Erik caught up right before D got to the road. It was very dark by then. (And it was very late at night in Grits world.) The fellows balanced the load and moved quietly past the giants and mammoths who like to hang around hassling travelers. Then I got a surprise. It went like this.

Battle Music: Dum da da DUM

Erik the Slayer: Kaboom!

Erik the Slayer’s Dremora: I SMELL WEAKNESS

Grits: Gaah!! *faints* (I had forgotten that the Slayer also had the Sanguine Rose in his possession. )

It was still early when they got to Kynesgrove. They decided to press on to Windhelm.

When they reached Windhelm it was dark and snowing, but the weather bothers neither orc nor Nord. The Slayer wanted to pay respects at the Temple of Talos while they were in town. Since the shops were closed they started looking around.

The first thing they found was a little girl walking in front of them. “I’m so cold,” she said to nobody, because she was alone.

Big D and the Slayer exchanged a look. They followed her at a distance so as not to freak her out. Pretty soon she lay down and went to sleep right on the snowy stones.

The Bulsakh did some thinking. He thought about how his wife had just put two children’s beds in their house. He remembered how lonesome she looked sitting by herself on one of the beds with no little girl whose hair needed brushing. At least that’s what he guessed humans did with girls and their hair. Honestly he had no idea.

He did know that babies fit in cradles, and his wife bought beds. He woke up the little girl. Soon she was on the carriage to Riften.

Big D looked over at his buddy Erik. “Do you think I should have asked Sylgja first?”

The Slayer shrugged. “Don’t worry, your wife has a big heart. After all she married an orc.”

The Bulsakh decided that made good sense. So when they got to Whiterun he adopted another little girl.

Highlights on the way included getting completely lost and wandering in circles near Uttering Hills cave after spending quite some time sledding down the hill by Anga’s Mill.

The sledding is an in-game activity accomplished with a dose of imagination: Big D goes to first person and sprints down the hill until he runs out of stamina. Then he jumps, which sends him sailing through the air. Once he made it almost to the river. Erik the Slayer participates as well, since the terrain in that area allows him to follow pretty much right where D goes.

A strange thing happened when they got home to Honeyside. An eyebrowless Nord woman standing inside his house called Big D a milk-drinker. Well that did not go well. He tried to get her to follow him outside so that his first act upon arriving home to his sleeping wife and two newly adopted daughters would not be a killing right there in the kitchen. But a killing there was, facilitated by Sylgja waking up and attacking with her pickaxe while the two girls ran all over the place saying, “Why are they hurting each other?”

Thankfully Sylgja took care of the body when D stepped outside to clear his head. When he returned she was already asleep.

So Big D (with The Slayer guarding his back) went downstairs to give some presents to his daughters and put them to bed. It was very sweet. He still doesn’t know what to do with their hair, but now he has no worries about how he will be as a father. Nord girls like toy swords and daggers just as much as orcs girls do.