 No Elves in Sovngarde, I've decided to to turn my "A day in Skyrim" adventure i |
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| mALX |
 Mar 24 2013, 04:06 PM
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#321
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 Ancient  Joined: 14-March 10 From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN  |
QUOTE "I'll teach you how to do it properly," She murmured softly. "Shh, shh, it's alright. He was a murdering rapist, addicted to skooma. I wouldn't bring you an innocent." Emelia held her hand out to Kayla. WOO HOO Emelia! I knew I liked her! This story is Awesome! -------------------- |
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| Darkness Eternal |
Mar 24 2013, 08:35 PM
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#322
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 Master  Joined: 10-June 11 From: Coldharbour |
QUOTE "Blood. I need blood. I can hear the sound of my own tainted pulse, pounding sluggishly, mocking me. Tearing into my own skin does nothing to stop the sounds, the madness. It quenches nothing. I need blood!!!" Ah, the madness of bloodlust, eh? The only way to control it is to feed or . . .cure herself. Nits: Hmm, the numbers can be a bit distracting. For example, insteado f putting the number, why not write it? "I've been locked in here for 3 days. To "I've been locked in here for three days." -------------------- And yet I am, and live—like vapours tossed.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod A place where woman never smiled or wept There to abide with my Creator, God, And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept, Untroubling and untroubled where I lie The grass below—above the vaulted sky.” |
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| Elisabeth Hollow |
Mar 24 2013, 08:38 PM
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#323
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 Ancient Joined: 15-November 12 From: Texas |
QUOTE(Darkness Eternal @ Mar 24 2013, 02:35 PM)  QUOTE "Blood. I need blood. I can hear the sound of my own tainted pulse, pounding sluggishly, mocking me. Tearing into my own skin does nothing to stop the sounds, the madness. It quenches nothing. I need blood!!!" Ah, the madness of bloodlust, eh? The only way to control it is to feed or . . .cure herself. Nits: Hmm, the numbers can be a bit distracting. For example, insteado f putting the number, why not write it? "I've been locked in here for 3 days. To "I've been locked in here for three days." I'm really consistent with that. However, I did that because she is writing the number down, not speaking it. It's easier to write the number three when you're panicked than to write the number out. -------------------- |
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| McBadgere |
Mar 24 2013, 09:37 PM
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#324
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Councilor  Joined: 21-October 11 |
OOoh, that was just incredible...
 ...Again with the heartstrings!!...And for Erik the Slayer of all people!!...  ...Not a great shocker when I say MA'DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!... ...YAY!!...  ...Thankyouthankyouthankyou... ...*Cough* I mean, I'm quite pleased about the continued life of the mentor character...Yes...An absolutely amazing chapter, and I'm very much looking forward to where Kayla and Emelia end up...And, of course, where your wonderful writing takes us in the soonest of soons... Absolutely Nice One... *Applauds most heartily*... |
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| Elisabeth Hollow |
Mar 24 2013, 10:52 PM
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#325
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Ancient Joined: 15-November 12 From: Texas |
QUOTE(McBadgere @ Mar 24 2013, 03:37 PM) Not a great shocker when I say MA'DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!... ...YAY!!... ...Thankyouthankyouthankyou... ...*Cough* I mean, I'm quite pleased about the continued life of the mentor character...Yes...It was killing me to not say anything, lol. I know how people like him. -------------------- |
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| Elisabeth Hollow |
Mar 25 2013, 03:22 AM
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#326
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Ancient Joined: 15-November 12 From: Texas |
QUOTE Now hurry up and write the sequel becuase if it's anything like this, it's going to be bloody awesome. QUOTE This was an amazing chapter, BRAVO! can't wait for the next one. QUOTE AWESOME WRITE !!!! QUOTE Brilliant stuff!!... Nice one!!... *Applauds heartily*... QUOTE Well done! QUOTE Absolutely amazing stuff... -Giggles- -------------------- |
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| King Coin |
Mar 25 2013, 06:22 PM
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#327
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 Master Joined: 6-January 11 |
Wow that was quite an end. Locked in there for months? We're lucky she's still sane! The middle section with Erik was pretty intense. Wow. And Ma'Dat! Wish he would have figured out what was happening a little sooner though.
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| Elisabeth Hollow |
Mar 25 2013, 09:42 PM
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#328
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Ancient Joined: 15-November 12 From: Texas |
I hope someone appreciates my gif lol
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| King Of Beasts |
Mar 25 2013, 09:43 PM
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#329
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 Ancient Joined: 15-November 12 From: Imperial City,Cyrodiil |
QUOTE(Elisabeth Hollow @ Mar 25 2013, 12:42 PM) I hope someone appreciates my gif lol MUST. PET. CAT.  -------------------- Bruh ☠️
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| treydog |
Mar 31 2013, 02:19 AM
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#330
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 Master Joined: 13-February 05 From: The Smoky Mountains |
Chapter 1 was a non-stop thrill ride that pulled me along and would not let go.
Chapter 2 appeared to take us back in time, but then BAM! And a mystery to keep us guessing too. Chapter 3 began with a wonderful interlude that showcases your ability to describe human relationships. And then the excellent: QUOTE "Well this was a TERRIBLE idea!" Which echoes my thoughts every bloody time I go after that stupid hagraven. Followed by Kaylas wonderful teasing of the healer, which shows us so much of her personality. And there is another of your great strengths as a writer- how seemingly without effort, you manage the show- dont tell mantra. Chapter 4 QUOTE "Alright, we need to make sure- gurk, stop squeezing me!" He let go, his grin never leaving his face. "We'll need four different types of potions, not unlike when you came to Riften with me, then here to Whiterun. Health potion, stamina potion, magicka potion-" "And mead!" "...and cure disease..." "Oh." I rolled my eyes. Yes, hes a Nord, all right. QUOTE There was an orc bard(torturer?!) singing a shameful rendition of "Ragnar the Red,"  Oh dear. All I can say is Onmund is fortunate that Kayla is not a redhead. QUOTE I crumpled the note. "I'm not a victim. I'm going to go find my husband. Or perhaps not. QUOTE At least in Whiterun I am a Thane, and can get away with assault at least once, but here? In an unknown town in an unknown Hold? I'm scamp meat. I needed to smooth things over quickly and get in the jarl's favor. An excellent bit of characterization there. QUOTE Gods. I thought. This town is making me regret killing the Dark Brotherhood. Rule 1- No matter how angry you are- do NOT leave without your sword. (This has been a helpful Skyrim Safety Tip, number 1 of a series. If you would like to read more) And also- whew- what a fight scene with Laelette. Chapter 8- And the truth begins to dawn- or dusk as the case may be. One thing that always annoyed me was the similarity of Movarth and Morthal. I felt like saying, You really could not find a less confusing name for ONE of them? QUOTE Except Movarth was going to do the exact same thing to Morthal as he did to my- And the Clue Meter begins to jangle wildly. Have to stop now. Dont want to more to follow. Simply marvelous writing. -------------------- The dreams down here aren't broken, nah, they're walkin' with a limp...
The best-dressed newt in Mournhold. |
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