For heaven´s sake, don´t bring that to our game!!

Should I bring pizza then?

No clams!

That's fine. Cheese pizza?

Woot! I had a protein shake

Love nutrition drinks!

Same. My friends and sister look at me like "What the [censored], you like protein shakes? They're disgusting what is wrong with you?!"

I think they taste pretty good though, lol

They are. I drink my first one with milk, and might even add some fruits and peanut butter depending on if its vanilla. Then post-workout I do it with water to avoid the extra calorie intake. Either way its delicious! I can live off that stuff.

That sounds pretty good. Damn, now I want another protein shake, lol

You´re not a security guard anymore. You don´t need to build muscles

I WANT to build muscles. That way I can beat my sister's husband up when he teases me

Why can´t you use a tire iron like everyone else!

I can hit him harder with the tire iron of I 'm strong

Oh, just look at him funny and he´ll [censored] his pants I´m sure

I've tried. It don't work

Get those blurry contact lenses that makes you look like a zombie and it´ll work!

That's brilliant!

We have been worried about our hard-working woodpecker, who has been busily excavating and advertising for several weeks. That is especially so since the dove couple apparently forgot where they had built their nest and wandered off....

But TODAY- a female woodpecker has appeared and is measuring for curtains- and telling him that "the couch will work better over THERE- trust me."

Oh my god. I can see the divorce papers being filed already

So today I browsed the casual encounters section on Craiglist as I always do, and I came across this post of a man who lost a bet asking for another male individual to meet him up so that he can sniff his butt and post humiliating pictures of it.

Makes me rethink about our human race a bit

a BIT?!!

I used to browse those for fun. Then I discovered fanfiction XD