Doesn't matter who it is because they've already said we aren't friends anymore.

Elizabeth is just making enemies nowadays.

Not enemies. We aren't enemies. Just someone who thinks they know what's best for me and won't accept that I can make my own decisions.

So, trying a new approach with my writing, since it kind of stalled. Camp NaNoWriMo turned into a bust because I've got stuck writing a bunch of scenes that I don't know the contents of, so I'm in micromanaging/planning in detail mode.

I figure it's worth a try.

That is AWESOME!!! You will have to join the poetry wars if we ever have another!








Oh, thank Talos !!!! WOO HOO !!!

No, Blackie was talking to me. He took something I said in a public post that everyone here saw (could still see, it is still there) and somehow misinterpreted what was said there as an attack on a beloved mod (which it wasn't); and somehow personalized it into me demanding he "take sides" - (which anyone reading can see I obviously never did).

From that point, he went on to say that (even though the issue was completely resolved by Starge before my Father died) - that I must have faked/lied about my father dying just to make him (Blackie) feel sorry for me and retain his friendship. (? Huh?)

Blackie said he came to this conclusion because he saw a "pattern" in his mind between me having a stroke in 2013; and having had to be gone a year. He thinks I took off that year and faked a stroke just to garner his sympathy and keep his friendship. (? Huh?)

The reason he decided that is because the month before my second stroke is when Kobby passed this same beloved mod's post count and had his account zeroed out. I said something about it on a public post, which I apologized for publicly. So once again, the issue was completely resolved. (but obviously not resolved in Blackie's mind).

So in Blackie's mind, the fact that I mentioned this person in a public post the month before my stroke and a couple days before my Father's death, he sees a pattern in it.

As proof of this, he points out that I type too fast one handed (though how he is measuring the speed of my typing, I have no idea); and the fact that I remembered something I posted publicly the year before (not like I could have re-read any posts).

Then he points out that his aunt didn't fare well in her stroke as proof that I shouldn't have recovered either. (?Huh?)

As sorry as I am that Blackie lost his aunt and for her condition in the end; I'm kind of happy to be recovering as well as I am. Blackie called my recovery "too miraculous," but the truth is that my recovery has been slower than the norm for stroke patients. The goal for therapy after strokes is to have independent functioning by a year, but the norm to achieve that is 6-8 months.

My recovery has been much slower than that, I didn't achieve any major milestones till 13 months; still can't drive or read more than a short post on here. My left eye still tears constantly, can't focus or concentrate, and words don't seem to look right anymore. I have to keep Googling them to see what their definitions are - these are words I know, should know.

My short term memory is still shot. Short term memory is what you did today, hours ago, yesterday. It doesn't affect your memories of before the stroke. It means I can read a sentence and not remember what it was about the next minute - so I have to keep re-reading it over and over to get it to sink in. That is why I have stopped reading the fics here; and why I can't write Maxical's story anymore. It is excruciating and frustrating to try and read long posts; and writing the story is impossible now.

But Blackie had access to medical professionals in his job to ask; he could have Googled strokes and learned that the damage a stroke causes is based on where in the brain the injury occurs; the amount of damage done; the health and age of the patient.

Blackie knows all this in his job; but didn't apply it to me because it didn't suit his conspiracy theory; and I guess he was enjoying playing the role of victim to my supposed subterfuge and deception, since he still clings to it at the end of his post by "forgiving" me unconditionally.

So yeah, I'm the one that blocked Blackie, Some of us place a highly inflated value on their friendship; and really need a reality check.



** Just so everyone knows, I am not trying to stir any hard feelings against Blackie. This probably has a lot to do with him losing his aunt and acting out in grief. Am I mad at him - yes; but that doesn't mean I dislike him. The friendship we had was short lived because of my stroke. I was gone a year and during that time emotions were made high by that imposter - maybe he doesn't believe this is the real me, for all I know.

Anyway, just wanted to clarify that so no one thinks I'm wanting anyone to side against Blackie or anything, I'm not. Just clearing the air; and hoping it is pushed into the past now.

Anyone who witnessed our Squirrel wars, rap wars, our RP together - knows it was a good friendship while it lasted. I enjoyed every minute of knowing Blackie till last October when he changed. I hope you all get to see the side of him that was Awesome, the one that I saw before my stroke.

I lost a hell of a lot of things in the past couple years; I'm sorry to say my friendship with Blackie is just one of them. But one thing all of us have to realize is that life is too short for this kind of BS. It is way too short. I almost wasn't here to say that, and I'm not in a great enough place health-wise to let anyone that has an axe to grind do it with me.

So I stepped off. That doesn't mean any of you should, I don't expect or want anyone to feel anything different about Blackie based on his dealings with me, just like I never let his dealings with anyone else stand between my friendship with him. I'm real sorry he feels this way, but life is too short; so my philosophy has to be to not let the door hit you.







*

This post has been edited by mALX: May 2 2015, 01:46 AM

My brother and his wife came yesterday and today we went out for some dinner (at a gas station, ) and cake on the road in their RV

Blackie was talking to you?

That's just messed up. I know he's got a taste for the dramatic, but damn.

I hope you keep getting better mALX.

Thanks Thorney. I hope so too.








I love eating in the RV, but ... out of a gas station? Urk.

It´s actually a proper restaurant, sort of. A few different choices and none of them is hot dog


Their current RV is much smaller than their former so I wasn´t happy when they got it. But they are and I guess that´s what matters

I had a small one too, it was only like 18" bigger than a normal van; but had two full time double beds and you could make a small 3rd bed by lowering the table down and putting the seat cushions out on it. It had a stove, refrigerator, a bathroom with a shower in it, a sink and tons of storage. (And central heat even while driving; but you had to be hooked up to electric for the air conditioning). It was diesel, so cost almost nothing to drive long trips in.

I went round trip to Chicago and back on one fill up, and that included getting lost in Chicago.

Wouldn´t mind one myself, that is if I liked travelling. I like being at new places but I hate getting there

The Oaks is running ... AND THEY'RE OFF!

*

Results:

7 Lovely Maria: Win: $14.60 Place: $ 7.80 Show: $ 5.40
2 Shook Up: Place: $20.20 Show: $11.40
8 I'm A Chatterbox: Show: $ 5.00


Payouts:

Double 2/7 $48.90

Super High Five 7/2/8/12/13 $30,843.80

Exacta 7/2 $296.00

Pick 3 10/2/7 $210.30
Pick 4 2,5/10/2/7 $379.00
Pick 5 8/2,5/10/2/7 $2,439.35
Pick 6 6/8/2,5/10/2/7 $65,950.80
Pick 6 6/8/2,5/10/2/7 $593.40
Pick 7 13/6/8/2,5/10/2/7 $5,326.09
Pick 7 $19,588.98

Superfecta 7/2/8/12 $4,126.60

Trifecta 7/2/8 $390.70




*

This post has been edited by mALX: May 1 2015, 11:46 PM

I loved it, did a lot of camping in it - some of the best times of my life were camping in that RV along the lakes and rivers of ETN. I brought my Rottweiller; Doberman; and razorback hog camping with me in it and still had plenty of room.

But like you - I don't like the trip there, just being there, lol.

*Shakes head*

You clearly wish everything to be public, rather than face the possibility that you mistook my words. So here's the terrible PM I sent you for all the world to see mALX.



I make mention about six times how terrible I felt and what the reasons for them were.

I never said your father never died. I said that the timing seemed either fortunate or unfortunate, which you've twisted. I did openly admit that the suspicion killed me, and that yes, its was the same issue with minque. You accused her twice of something she could not have done.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-EYmpIc_2...24/CalmDown.jpg

Or do you not remember me showing you that she had not been on for two days when what was clearly a joke was being played? How I begged you to calm down? How I said that this was not good for your health?

The second event is mostly deleted from a site that no longer exists, so I lack evidence for that one. Nor will I drag other people into it, as that was never my intention to begin with.

None of that matters now. I didn't either than.

I never said that you didn't have a stroke, what happened was that I noticed that you were at least 99% all there even after the terrible event occurred. In your return post, you made mention that you could only use your right hand to type, yes, that you had to 'hunt and peck' for your typing, which partially concerned me, which partially garnered my admiration. Yes, I said 'impaired function in your right hand', apology was more important to me than accuracy at the time. I'd just come back from my Aunt, and driven eight hundred miles and combined twelve hours of driving through the desert having plenty of time to contemplate my own shortcomings.

Among those who also noticed, I simply said she's likely adapted well.

I never once said that my Aunt had a stroke. I said that her pericardium was swollen, which prevented her from having perfusion, that led to massive brain damage, resulting in her being effectively dead. She has now since passed being released to a hospice, being taken off of the tube stuck down her throat and the three meds too keep her blood pressure up.

She did have a pulmonary embolism the week prior to the long, drawn-out, fatal event. One that she checked herself out of the hospital for, perhaps this is the source....I don't care. I learned very quickly that the dead can't be apologized too...the living can.

The wording of the PM was meant to illustrate how ridiculous some of my thought patterns were,...at the same time my concern extending to you and how holding on to some of those things might be making you worse. That killed me too. The Serenity Stick I believe I called it when I told you to calm down.

So, go ahead and have your court of public opinion.

I don't care what other people think, and I'm fairly certain you know that about me by now. I see no other reason to drag this out into the light, when this was only ever between you and me. I justify nothing, aside from misperception, and yes, being quiet all this time.

I should have left things as they were. Some things can only be learned after the mistake is made.

Ta.

So I've finished this year of university, at last, and aside from a shorthand exam in a few weeks time I don't have to be anywhere or do anything until uni starts again in September!

In a further bit of good news it looks like my money saving has paid off (pun intended) and I might finally be able to afford an Xbox One.

A spot of good fortune that these two events have coincided.

Make Bill Gate$ cranky and get a Playstation 4 instead

hehehe, if I wasn't such a Halo nerd I probably would

Do you know if the new Halo is any good?



I prefer Tom Clancy´s Rainbow Six, the hotel level. Me and my bud played that map like crazy