I finally got around to watching Captain America: Civil War. Or really Avengers: Civil War. Granted, most of the focus is on Cap, but just as much is on Tony, and everyone makes an appearance, even when they don't really serve the story.

I was pretty underwhelmed with the whole thing, disappointed really. There were too many times I was yelling at the screen. Like when General Ross is taking them to task over saving New York, or saving the world. Hello a-hole, you were the guys who launched a nuclear missile at New York. If not for the Avengers stopping you, the government would have killed millions. And of course everyone on the planet dying if they had not taken it on themselves to stop Ultron in Sokovia. I guess they should have just around doing nothing and let Ultron destroy the world. Apparently that would have been the right thing to do, according to William Hurt.

Now I will admit that Tony creating Ultron in the first place was incredibly bone-headed. So if they just wanted to put Stark in prison I would not be complaining. Seriously.

I don't mind that Ross tried to spin things that the Avengers are these reckless and out of control monsters who destroy everything in their path. Way back in the first Hulk movie they firmly established that he is an a-hole after all. I do mind that no one on the team called him on his b.s. though.

Then there is Tony Stark apparently being General Ross's butt-monkey for most of the movie. This is the same guy who literally told a Congressional sub-committee to go stick it where the sun does not shine in Iron Man 2? The same guy who hacked Shield to find out about their Hydra Weapons research, just because he doesn't trust the government? The guy who stopped making weapons because he won't be responsible for who they kill? The guy whose disrespect for authority is one of his defining character traits. Now he is suddenly willing to become the government's unquestioning thug? Sorry, that is just totally out of character.

And how come before the big super smackdown didn't Cap or someone else bother to tell the rest of the Avengers that they have proof Bucky is innocent, and that they were after the real culprit? It would have taken about 3 sentences. Maybe 10 seconds to say. But then there would have been no fight, and I guess that is more important than making any kind of sense. I guess there is no point wondering why no one else, like the CIA, bothered telling Tony the same thing. Or why Tony didn't just hack them himself to find out what the intelligence was on the bombing. I guess it just isn't as important as trying to figure out that Shield was trying to get 40 year old Hydra weapons to work.

And where was Vision in that first scene in Lagos? Was he watering the plants at Avengers HQ? I suppose he was absent because if he had been there he would have single-highhandedly taken out the entire Hydra team in about 5 seconds. But I guess we couldn't have that happen, because it would have ruined the big moment of the Scarlet Witch's diverted bomb blast killing less people than it originally would have. Yes, that too. Apparently she is a monster because she insured that less people died than would have if she had not intervened. Obviously no one is happy that people died, and it is a lot of guilt for her to doubtlessly carry around. But the blame is squarely on the person who blew himself up, not her. Just like the blame for the destruction in New York is on the aliens who attacked it (and the government who tried to nuke it), not the people who defended it.

Let's not forget the magical camera recording Mama and Papa Stark's death's too. How convenient it was for the plot to have that camera set up in the middle of nowhere so it could record their deaths, and who killed them. We know it wasn't something that Bucky set up to prove his mission success, because we see him shoot out the camera at the end of it. Also how convenient for the super rich Howard Stark who rubs shoulders with super spies to travel with absolutely no bodyguards or protection. Unlike RL executives who have drivers that are former Army Rangers (whom I have personally met and worked with IRL), and travel in multiple cars with security guards, because they are targets for kidnappings and espionage. And none of them have 5 Super-Soldier serums in the trunk!!!

Or how the bad guy's entire plan is just way too convoluted, to the point of literally requiring precognition to work - like knowing Bucky would be captured and not killed. Knowing who would be sent to interrogate the capture Bucky. There are plenty of sites that break it down into fine detail. Suffice to say, it is awfully convenient for the plot.

There are just too many of these glaring plot holes. I just kept wanting to throw things at the writers for the entire movie.

I finally got around to watching Captain America: Civil War. Or really Avengers: Civil War. Granted, most of the focus is on Cap, but just as much is on Tony, and everyone makes an appearance, even when they don't really serve the story.

I was pretty underwhelmed with the whole thing, disappointed really. There were too many times I was yelling at the screen. Like when General Ross is taking them to task over saving New York, or saving the world. Hello a-hole, you were the guys who launched a nuclear missile at New York. If not for the Avengers stopping you, the government would have killed millions. And of course everyone on the planet dying if they had not taken it on themselves to stop Ultron in Sokovia. I guess they should have just around doing nothing and let Ultron destroy the world. Apparently that would have been the right thing to do, according to William Hurt.

Now I will admit that Tony creating Ultron in the first place was incredibly bone-headed. So if they just wanted to put Stark in prison I would not be complaining. Seriously.

I don't mind that Ross tried to spin things that the Avengers are these reckless and out of control monsters who destroy everything in their path. Way back in the first Hulk movie they firmly established that he is an a-hole after all. I do mind that no one on the team called him on his b.s. though.

Then there is Tony Stark apparently being General Ross's butt-monkey for most of the movie. This is the same guy who literally told a Congressional sub-committee to go stick it where the sun does not shine in Iron Man 2? The same guy who hacked Shield to find out about their Hydra Weapons research, just because he doesn't trust the government? The guy who stopped making weapons because he won't be responsible for who they kill? The guy whose disrespect for authority is one of his defining character traits. Now he is suddenly willing to become the government's unquestioning thug? Sorry, that is just totally out of character.

And how come before the big super smackdown didn't Cap or someone else bother to tell the rest of the Avengers that they have proof Bucky is innocent, and that they were after the real culprit? It would have taken about 3 sentences. Maybe 10 seconds to say. But then there would have been no fight, and I guess that is more important than making any kind of sense. I guess there is no point wondering why no one else, like the CIA, bothered telling Tony the same thing. Or why Tony didn't just hack them himself to find out what the intelligence was on the bombing. I guess it just isn't as important as trying to figure out that Shield was trying to get 40 year old Hydra weapons to work.

And where was Vision in that first scene in Lagos? Was he watering the plants at Avengers HQ? I suppose he was absent because if he had been there he would have single-highhandedly taken out the entire Hydra team in about 5 seconds. But I guess we couldn't have that happen, because it would have ruined the big moment of the Scarlet Witch's diverted bomb blast killing less people than it originally would have. Yes, that too. Apparently she is a monster because she insured that less people died than would have if she had not intervened. Obviously no one is happy that people died, and it is a lot of guilt for her to doubtlessly carry around. But the blame is squarely on the person who blew himself up, not her. Just like the blame for the destruction in New York is on the aliens who attacked it (and the government who tried to nuke it), not the people who defended it.

Let's not forget the magical camera recording Mama and Papa Stark's death's too. How convenient it was for the plot to have that camera set up in the middle of nowhere so it could record their deaths, and who killed them. We know it wasn't something that Bucky set up to prove his mission success, because we see him shoot out the camera at the end of it. Also how convenient for the super rich Howard Stark who rubs shoulders with super spies to travel with absolutely no bodyguards or protection. Unlike RL executives who have drivers that are former Army Rangers (whom I have personally met and worked with IRL), and travel in multiple cars with security guards, because they are targets for kidnappings and espionage. And none of them have 5 Super-Soldier serums in the trunk!!!

Or how the bad guy's entire plan is just way too convoluted, to the point of literally requiring precognition to work - like knowing Bucky would be captured and not killed. Knowing who would be sent to interrogate the capture Bucky. There are plenty of sites that break it down into fine detail. Suffice to say, it is awfully convenient for the plot.

There are just too many of these glaring plot holes. I just kept wanting to throw things at the writers for the entire movie.

Captain America: Civil War....?
Oh, you mean The Love Triangle: Steve, Bucky and Tony Edition?

Wow.

I'd been planning to pick that up on DVD, but now I'm not so sure it's worth it...

I want to see your reviews before ever again plunking down money to see a movie again!!!! The problem is, after reading your review I am dying to see it just to roar laughing at your descriptions as I see them play out on film!!!! BWAAHAA !!! You had me at butt-monkey,

If all you want is to see super people bash one another the movie is just fine. There is lots of super-powered action. And many of the characters themselves are in fact interesting. Falcon 2.0 is a lot cooler than he was in Winter Soldier, with better wings and finally his sidekick Redwing (which I thought was both original, and yet kind of obvious at the same time. It left me thinking "why didn't I think of that?") The Black Panther was all kinds of awesome - except of course he has a severe case of Tonyitis in that he could not be bothered to put any effort into finding out who really killed his father. People rave about the new Spider Man, and I give massive props to Tom Holland. He absolutely nailed that role, in a way no one has done since Toby Maguire did back in the Sam Raimi movies. Unfortunately there is no real reason for him to even be there, except to introduce the character to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He is basically an advertisement for the upcoming MCU Spider Man movie. The same goes for Ant-Man. He has some of the coolest parts of the film. But why is he really there?

First, the hot blond soldier girl who kisses Cap in Cap 1 is Natalie Dormer. I knew she looked familiar!

I saw The Shallows yesterday. It was good, though not great. The main character is likeable, and for the most part smart. Aside from going to the beach to surf alone in a foreign country, her only stupid move was swimming out near a dead whale. But in her defense, she wasn't supposed to be alone. Her friend bailed on her at the last minute, and she had some good character-building reasons for wanting to go. As for the dead whale, I couldn't even tell what it was until she got closer. I thought it was a little outcropping of rock, and I imagine she thought the same. Once she got close enough to really see it, she went away. But of course by then the shark noticed her.

Other than that, she uses her cleverness to survive the shark, and in some more character-building, fights for her life even though she is clearly doomed. (If you watch the movie, you will understand what I mean). Aside from the pure survival aspect, there is a good story with a good character driving it all.

The movie does have one major flaw, the same one all movies that cast a wild animal as the antagonist do. In order to be good villains, they don't act like real animals do. There was really no believable reason for this shark to keep after her, continually, day and night, or everyone else who went into the water. It had plenty of food in the dead whale, far more than any single Great White could ever eat. So it wasn't simply hungry and hunting. We see a hook stuck in its mouth, which might tempt us to think it was driven mad with pain. But why would it connect the pain of that hook with humans? A shark is not smart enough to associate one with the other. But this shark is driven by an overwhelming passion to kill people.

If real sharks behaved this way, everyone who entered the ocean would die. But the reality is that people swim everyday with sharks all around them, and never even realize it, because sharks usually don't give a crap about us.

But if you can put the unrealism of the antagonist aside, it does make for a gripping survival movie, with a solid main character and beautiful eye-candy in the form of the beach.

I've started watching Firefly again, because it's a fantastic series.

I love Firefly but all it does is depress me because it was cut far too short.

Khajiit just can not seem to get into all the Marvel stuff. Must be something wrong with him...