After creating, scrapping, re-writing, editing and losing every one of the created chapters, here is the rewritten, rough copy prolouge of my FF.

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Prolouge, Blessed blood and the man named Curse.

Describing the Ir Shin family is as hard as raising the dead, though it is possible, as is raising the dead. They are blessed.

Blessed by the strength that was so natural to them, the magick that ran through their veins, the knowledge that flowed from their mouths and in the rare case, the swords that came from their minds. Though the most interesting of them all, sixteen year old Shakur Ir Shin, was blessed with Curse.

Every night Curse was in his dreams and nightmares. Whether a cameo or a leading role, he twisted the plots of Shakur's dreams. Though he spoke backwards and sometimes as other people, Curse was very different and sometimes much more helpful than your usually nightmare creature. He unraveled mysteries and turned them into riddles. Though he was a mystery himself, he was careful to hide his appearence, using the faces of people such as famous people such as Vivec and Cyrus, or he may use the face of someone Shakur saw on his daily walk like a librarian or a side walk sweeper.
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Chapter One, First to enter, first to leave.

Dylxexes the younger of the first era, states quite clearly that an adventure can only truly begin three ways, by death, by slur or by letter. We start Shakur's great travels wit the first of three, the least wanted but most common way to start an adventurer off on a journey.

Rain poured down the streets of Sentinel, rolling through the cobble stone and then through the dirt and rock. It flowed and rolled unusually for only seven centimetres of water, but that wasn't what was the worst thing of the night. The cracking thunder and fierce lightning had shocked the mast of a ship earlier, delaying the fishing trip of Reyad Ir Shin, Shakur's father, a fisherman, former battle mage.

So Reyad stayed for dinner, and once again there was enough food for two families. Shakur, Fayval, Shakur's mother, Iszaza, Shakur's sister, Reyad and Hides-from-eyes, a good friend of Shakur, sat around the dinner table eating the two large fish, topped with imported herbs and spices and surrounded by imported fruits and vegetables. They ate and talked of Reyad and Fayval's adventures, they told jokes and riddles, and distracted themselves from the coming horror.

Five flaming arrows pierced deep within the wooden shingles of the ceiling. Thunder boomed and rolled and the lightning snapped and cracked through the sky and rain. The top hinge of the wooden front door burst with a bang as loud as the thunder, and two large Imperial spearmen and a Bosmer mage scrambled over the broken door and in to the Ir Shin house. Reyad grabbed three swords from the katana rack that stood proudly inside a ornate wooden closet. Shakur, Reyad and Hides-from-eyes were armed, and Fayval raised her arms ready to cast spells and Iszaza readied her axe.

The attack group entered the dining room to find Reyad jump off of the smallest
Imperials head, landing behind the Bosmer as Shakur stabbed the smallest Imperial in the face. Shakur was used to sword weilding and the attack positions of the ancient Yokuda, and readied himself to duck the next Imperials thrust. Hides-from-eyes threw his sword, which dove deep into the attacking Imperials left arm. Reyad slit the Bosmer's throat while Shakur set the remaining Imperial aflame with a strong fireballl. Thus proving that a family containing two Ansei is a force to be reckoned with.
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Chapter two, Oh how the mind does collide.

"I told you!" Curse yelled loudly with a new body and voice. "I told you get ready and you just ignored my warning. Look what you've done! Two dead! Two!" Curse was not a man that resorted to brutish yelling to prove a point on a regular basis, but today he was more than angry. He had been dissapointed and ignored. And ignorence is not bliss in the mind of a young Ansei, but weakness.

"Don't scare the l-la-d-d, boy! He al.. on-la, he's gone through alo...much today! So stop yelling!" Virdlev's face was turning red and his anger rose. He often got angry at curse for reasons such as yelling at Shakur. Virdlev was not one for words, and stuttered when he talked loudly and influencially. Though the fact that he was a 7 foot Nord that carried a Daedric Dai-Katana that was bigger than it's wielder could influence anyone without any change of tone or speed.

Shakur watched the arguement as he always did in his dreams, anxiously. When will Curse say the next riddle? Will Virdlev reveal where another interesting location is? When will they stop bickering and have a rather long debate over who is right? The arguements where much like the plays Shakur's dad had explained. Though Shakur himself had never been to a play he understood much of the things that regularly go on. The dancing, the heroes, the villians, and how they sometimes ended in agreement.

Curse kept hollering and Virdlev kept studdering, until only one word was recognizable, Reinius. A name perhaps? A place or a person? What was it? Shakur was confused, and then, he entered. He walked through a once un-seen door with his beutiful Imperial face held high. His posture was that of a boats mast and the long, ornate purple and golden robe wrapped around him concealing his armoured body.

Shakur stood up tall and proud, though his posture nowhere near that of Reinius. he then noticed the mirror beside him, and the reflection of himself, wearing the armor of many cultures and long his hair was long and dreaded. His dream ended, though Reinius said one simple and yet increadibly interesting sentence, "Welcome to the future, present".

He said the word present with a smile, and said it as if it were a cleaver monicker. Present was the word with more than one meaning. It was the word that was on Shakur's mind as Reinius left the dream. It was the word Shakur said as he awoke from his dream.

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Yay! Updated! Once again, sorry for the wait, and also, sorry for apologizing so much .

This post has been edited by Red: Aug 22 2005, 04:46 PM

Well, I'm not sure of exactly what "Cursed" is. Is it a person? Or a spirit? Or will it be revealed later on or something? When you post more content I can get a more accurate visual of what you are trying to get people to see. My opinion is undecided still. Intelligent wording and a poetic feel are it's up sides thus far. It also has a promising flow to it.

This post has been edited by Kiln: Jul 16 2005, 05:44 AM

Thank you for being honest (and some what flattering) and asking one of my favourite questions. Curse is a character that appears in Shakur's dreams and lives freely in his subconscience, solving riddles when Shakur is awake and projecting riddle answers when he sleeps, though when he has no riddle answers he appears in dreams and nightmares. The reason he is "Blessed with Curse" is because he cannot sleep without seeing him, and is repeatedly given these riddles that usually need deep meditation to figure out. Also, if your wondering about the name, all of the regulars (Or the Pax Seven) when first seen are instantly recognizable, due to the fact that they have been in his subconscious for some time.

ahh interesting! hehe I have to agree with Kiln....i also was confuzzled about Curse.... but i think it´s good and i´m very glad to see it here.....sooo updates on the way??

Oh, nice! I was also confuzzled by the whole Curse thing, but I think I understand now. Please continue when you can!

Continued with chapter one. Got it done right after your posts

oh.....hehe you edited your first post....well very promising I´d say....very promising....now also you might wanna tell us more about the personalities of the persons involved? it´s always interesting you know

keep it up please....

not bad Red keep it coming

In good time you will learn everybody's weak and strong points.

It sounds like a good concept to me and I look forward to reading more.

Sorry for double posting but I can't delete my previous comment...anyways I just realised that you updated...you shouldn't edit your first post, you should make a new one so people will realise you've updated.

Very interesting so far. Can't wait for the next part.

Even thought it has gone three days I'll reply anyway

IMO your a very very good writer Red, all I wish for is another update

Sorry for the lack of updatage (yeah, I made up a word, so what?) but you might have to wait up to eight more days. I know what you're thinnking, but you usually update pretty quickly! Sorry, but this is a strange and rewarding summer and I guess all of you probably understand. Seriously, if I could update more I would, but, you know.

As long as gets updated eventually I'll be patient. This story seems to have great potential so I'll definitely be keeping an eye on it.

Once again I'm bounced to another house! It seems every week I'm baby sitting a dog or house watching. Any ways I've almost got chapter three done, and since you've been ever so patient, expect a new dream character and more character discription.

Updated, check the first post.

Very good writing with good mystery elements. Theres a strange senseless phrase...for now...
Can't wait.*Applause*

Thank you very much Mr. Kiln.

Chapter 3, Reyad the Ice man

Two weeks had past since the Ir Shin families' lives were threatened, and it had been two weeks of silence. They scarcely went outside fearing the public's questions and they rarely talked about any occurances that happened that night. Reyad only fished twice those weeks, and spent about 40 hours of those two weeks in meditation. Fayval spent hours every day reading books on language and culture. Some thing big was happening.

One day Reyad sat Shakur down in a chair at the storage room table. It was wooden with many cuts and scratches is it, and a long, deep scrape through the middle caused by a sword. The storage room was the part of their house where Reyad would teach Shakur sword stances, spells and other things an Ansei should know. He looked Shakur in the eyes and said "You know you are important, you know you are strong, you know you are smart and you know that this world isn't safe as it looks. I need you to promise me something, I need you to promise to make this family proud". Shakur was confused, but he did not say anything. Reyad continued "We are moving very soon. We are going to Cyrodiil because apparently there is good work there for a battle mage because we won't get by fishing with our tastes. You must promise you will not miss this place and you won't come back." Shakur waited for the sentence, for interruption is rude, though he spoke fast as if he had "Won't come back? We're moving? Why was I not informed?".


Reyad stood, and pushed some clothes into a sack. He scribbled some words onto some paper with a feather pen and dropped it on the table. It floated down and landed writting down. Reyad opened his mouth and spoke slowly and calmly "You know what, you're old enough so I won't lie to you. I didn't inform you earlier because you would've wanted to stay here. And that, is a bad idea. Why? Because the local guards have jailed three men that were involved in our attempted murder. They were all Dunmeri and they willingly told the reason of our attempted murder. Well, willingly as in after interrigation with a guy named "Brevus" who likes to punch people. And the reason in insane. Prophecy. Some racist Dunmer thinks that an Ansei will kill his son. So he hired some mercenaries, got them to find us and attempt to kill us. And that wasn't the even the worst part. He's Commona Tong. He's some big-wig crime boss that has mercinaries and gang members at his disposal. We need to leave and some day, we will need to fight. That is all". Reyad stood up and left to meditate, but not before re-reading the note, which he dropped again infront of Shakur. Shakur looked at the note which read;

Meet me at the Wrong Bow at nightfall. Don't tell mom and get your chores done early. Tell the guard at the door you know Reyad the Ice Man.

Okay, new chapter, new format. To reduce confusion, I will now stop posting the new chapters in the first post.

This post has been edited by Red: Aug 18 2005, 07:15 PM