Untitled short writing., Pieces from separate journals. Options

[LeTren Thundakk]

[Five torn pages from journals were found amid four bodies found by a patrolman. They appeared to be relatively fresh kills. Each page was written with a different handwriting, no absolute verification of which belonged to each of the slain. A fifth account was written, however, and the message makes it clear the killer wrote the final page.]


Morndas the 17th:

We haven’t found the ruin we were sent to find, but we did fall upon quite a large amount of treasure in a previous ‘dead-end’. A great amount, but not enough to call off our search for our employer. The others aren’t thinking about the pay-off. They think they have enough now and they want to go home. They don’t see what I see: the bigger picture. Our employer thought enough of employing a group to find his treasure, it must be worth a LOT!

[Tirdas and Middas’s entries are stained in blood.]

Turdas the 20th:

We’ve finally cleared the ruin of wildlife and found the stuff. The items he described are all here; a golden cup studded in diamonds, a blue gem the size of my head, and a dagger with ancient writing etched on it. This is our payday! I can’t wait to receive my reward!

Fredas the 21st:

I think we made a mistake. Someone or something in that ruin may be following us. I’ve heard a voice when the others were asleep last night, but they don’t believe me! I hope nothing goes wrong.


Tirdas the 18th:

That thickheaded jerk thinks we should continue. CONTINUE! I can’t believe it. We have enough treasure, it seems, to retire. I guess he’s right, though. No sense in letting any treasure get claimed by another group.

Middas the 19th:

We’ve found another ruin, and the plan is to start the search in the morning. I can almost feel the reward we’ll receive!

[No entry for Turdas was written, oddly.]

Fredas the 21st:

That genius leader of ours may be trying to prank us. He says he hears a voice. Bah, scare tactics, I don’t know what he’s planning, but he won’t be getting any of my share!


Sundas the 16th:

We found treasure! Not the one we were looking for, but treasure nonetheless. I’m hoping we won’t have to look for what we were paid to find, but then again, I could always use new furnishings for my house.

[All further entries are stained in blood except for a note seemingly written when the writer was dying.]

we were go


Tirdas the 18th:

I can’t wait to find our employer’s stuff. I wonder what it’s doing in an ancient ruin though. I would ask, but that might get me lesser payoff, so I’ll just keep to wondering.

Middas the 19th:

We found the place, finally. Tomorrow we’ll search it and be back in town by Loredas.

[Turdas and most of Fredas’s entry were covered in blood.]

voice. I hope he’s kidding, otherwise, that’s too creepy for me.



Oh, if only I could be stopped, if only. Too bad I can’t. If only my work could be finished, if only. Too bad it can’t. I write this as a note to any who find it, I can’t be stopped until my work is done. I will last forever and work forever. I AM forever. If only I could go back and stop myself from giving my life away to his cause. Too bad I can’t. I am forever.

This post has been edited by LeTren Thundakk: Jun 5 2008, 07:59 PM

[redsrock]

I like it, especially the last bit:

"Oh, if only I could be stopped, if only. Too bad I can’t. If only my work could be finished. Too bad it can’t. I write this as a note to any who find it, I can’t be stopped until my work is done. I will last forever and work forever. I AM forever. If only I could go back and stop myself from giving my life away to his cause. Too bad I can’t. I am forever.

Forever and ever. Too bad."
You know, this would make an excellent story. Have you ever thought of making this into a longer tale? Actually.....I have an idea. Would you be interested in making this into a tale WITH me? You know, a two-person-fanfic?

I've done it several times myself and it's quite fun. Just let me know if you'd like to take me up on the offer...

[Kitchen.Sink]

If you removed that last "Forever and ever. Too bad." and simply ended the story with "I am forever." the conclusion would be even more powerful than it already is. This little piece is vaguely reminiscent of Kurosawa's Rashomon and the short story on which it was based, "In a Grove" by Ryunosuke Akutagawa. I recommend both to you, if you enjoy playing with perspective in your writing.

[LeTren Thundakk]

Actually, that makes sense. I took it off.

[LeTren Thundakk]

[New evidence was found in the form of a crumpled page in the nearby grass.]

I cannot do it.
I will not do it.
I must not do it.
I curse you, rotten cadaver.
I curse your plots and your plans.
I want my freedom!
!!!

This post has been edited by LeTren Thundakk: Jun 5 2008, 08:57 PM

[kementari]

Rlyeh wgahnagl ftaghn ia! ia!

...?

:3

[LeTren Thundakk]

Rlyeh wgahnagl ftaghn ia! ia!

...?

:3

WHAT?!?!