Lex and the Thief, Might as well post this one as well... Options

[Ornamental Nonsense]

I wrote this because, quite frankly, Lex is a great character from the game, but I don't see many stories about him. I usually write darker stuff, but I was in the mood for something light and funny when this idea popped into my head. Hence, here is a piece that veers into traditional territory that I normally wouldn't even consider writing. I'm not totally satisfied with the results either, but I can't decide how to fix that. *sigh*
Well, anyway, so long as someone enjoys reading this, I consider my time well spent. Please leave some feedback as I muddle through editing this.


Chapter 1: She Doesn't Like Him

The thief watched the captain of the guard with interest. It wasn't that she liked him. No, that would be a slight against everything that she stood for. Members of the Thieves' Guild did not fall for guards, especially one that harassed the guild at every turn. Still, she was watching him, and maybe it was a bit of a fascination. The man looked capable and handsome in his armor, roaming the docks with a single-minded purpose as he did. His eyes were hard steel. They always were, like he never thought of anything besides work and his hunt for the Grey Fox. Little wonder that his own comrades sometimes mocked him, but Mandila found his determination curious. Most guards could be bought or avoided, but neither seemed likely with this man. She wasn't used to that.

“Hello, sir,” she greeted as he neared her. She was perched on the harbor wall, feet swinging out over the water, head half-turned to look at the captain. His Imperial features settled on her, and she inwardly cursed herself for drawing his attention. Then again, she liked playing with fire, and Hieronymus Lex was definitely fire. Just having him this close made her jittery—like the feeling that she got right before stealing something. He was legal danger personified, and even though she shouldn't, she couldn't help herself. She had to speak with him.

“I'm busy, Bosmer,” he stated, and she smiled at his clipped tone. The captain was far too easy to irritate. Don't do it, Mandila. Oh hell, when had she ever listened to reason?

“A little touchy today, Captain,” she told him, her brown eyes brimming with hidden pleasure as his narrowed. “Aren't soldiers supposed to be friendly to us good citizens?” She caught a glimpse of someone standing to the side, observing the exchange, and she immediately recognized Methredhel, her sister Bosmer in crime. The woman was shaking her head in disbelief.

“I am on duty, ma'am,” Lex said, the words polite but not his tone. “Idle chatter when there is work to be done is disgraceful.” Gosh, someone needed to take himself less seriously. He didn't even bid her goodbye as he walked away, the sunlight shining off of his armor. He's always so impeccable, Mandila noted. She wished that he would talk a little longer, but he never did; although she swore that she'd get a conversation out of him one day. Why she found him so fascinating, she couldn't say, but she followed her inclinations without much hesitancy. She knew that her thieving friend was watching her, but her eyes were only on the captain as he disappeared around a corner.

“Did you fall from a tree when you were younger?” Methredhel asked.

“Stop being a mother,” Mandila jokingly replied. “A little conversation never hurt anyone.”

“That is Lex that you're trying to talk to,” the other elf reminded. “He's our sworn enemy.”

“And if I get him to lighten up, maybe he'll stop chasing us so much.” Methredhel burst into laughter at the suggestion, and Mandila giggled along with her. The idea was rather ludicrous.

“I tell you what, sister,” the older elf whispered, stepping closer. “I'll make you an offer since you want to 'lighten up' the captain. If you can get a kiss from our dear nemesis, I'll give you twenty lockpicks for free.” Mandila's eyebrows shot upward. Twenty lockpicks? That was a good deal, but then again...

“He'd arrest me for assault,” she huffed with a pout, and Methredhel's eyes went wide.

“You...you really do like him, don't you?” she asked, amazed. “Bosmer, you listen to me: this is a bad idea.” And Mandila shook her head in instant denial. She did not like Lex. She couldn't like Lex. Hell, there was nothing to like about the man, except maybe how he looked in uniform, and that wasn't enough for a picky elf.

“I don't like him,” she protested. “He's just...oh...” She fought for the right words, and the longer she took, the more Methredhel's face contorted into a mixture of confusion and delight. “He's interesting!” Mandila finally spat. “And they say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right?” She had never tried to put her fixation into words before, and now that she was, it sounded ridiculous. Great, now Methredhel would be taunting her for eternity. “Besides,” Mandila pointedly said, “It's not like I spend that much time on him.”

“Really?” Oh that smile meant trouble. Methredhel knew something that she shouldn't. Mandila just knew it. “I've seen the way that you watch him, and I daresay that other guards have noticed too.” Mandila frowned and hoped that Armand hadn't heard any of the rumors that were circulating around the waterfront. There might be one or two about her mooning over the captain, but it wasn't mooning. They just couldn't understand that she found him curious.

“It's only talk,” Mandila claimed. “No meat to it at all.”

“But you don't deny that you watch him. You're lucky that he doesn't notice. He's too thickheaded to realize when a woman's interested. Poor man will be single for life.” Methredhel laughed, finding her own words hilarious, but she stopped herself when she noticed Mandila's contemplative face.

“You don't believe me at all,” she said.

“Not a bit, sister. Oh, I know it's harmless enough, and you really don't mean anything by it. Perhaps you really don't like him, but at this rate, you might find yourself liking what you don't want to. That's why we never watch a target for an extended period of time. It sometimes makes things complicated. Remember: the guild comes first.”

“Yes, sister. You haven't spoke to Armand, have you?”

“No, because I know how you are. You'll get over this fixation soon enough. I remember when that pirate was here. You spent hours secretly watching him, even looking for excuses to eat lunch near his ship. Thank goodness that's over.” Yes, it was. The man had been found dead in his cabin one day, and it was rumored that the Dark Brotherhood was responsible. Well, Mandila wasn't sad. Like she'd already said, it wasn't that she fell for these men. They just occupied her attention. Lex was like the others, or so she told herself. Besides, the man would never give her a second look. He was too...Lex.

“Still thinking about him,” Methredhel stated, jerking Mandila from her thoughts. “Ah honey, he's too old for anyway.”

“How old is he?”

“Stop. Just stop,” Methredhel said, face twisted into exaggerated disgust. “Lex is a pest. It doesn't matter how old he is.” Then she suddenly smiled and rolled her eyes. “I can't wait until you get over this one. See you later, sister. Don't waste too much time staring into space, and my offer still stands.”

“I would never wound my dignity by taking you seriously!” Mandila called after her. As if I would ever kiss Lex. She winced but then giggled. The man probably would arrest her, or else eye her warily for the rest of forever. There he was again, all justice and order, and speaking with another guard. Perhaps she could get closer and eavesdrop. That would be harmless enough, and she wanted to know if the man ever talked about anything other than business. She had yet to catch him in the act, but she was determined. Of course, she never made herself obvious. Besides staring and the occasional brush by, she didn't interact with or follow the man. In fact, she rarely saw him, and never outside of the harbor, for she refused to let her interest interfere with her normal routine.

This is unhealthy, girl, she told herself as she felt the familiar draw toward the man. As Lex glanced at her, her eyes moved to his lips, and she noticed how perfectly shaped they were. They looked soft and appealing, even if she'd never noticed that before. It was Methredhel's comment making her think these things, she decided. She smiled, but turned to go home, knowing that she had a job to do that night.

****************

“There goes your elf, sir,” the guard commented, and Lex frowned. What on earth was this man jabbering about? He turned to see that Bosmer girl walking by them. She frequented the harbor, for he saw her almost every single day, but he never paid attention to her. She seemed harmless enough, and therefore he had more important tasks to focus on.

“My elf?” he questioned, finally registering the guard's word choice.

“She has a habit of showing up when you're around,” the guard explained, trusting commonsense to elaborate the unspoken remainder of his thoughts to the captain, but he would be wrong on that account. Unlike a normal man who might recognize his appeal to a young woman, Lex was instead wondering if Mandila might be keeping an eye on him for the Grey Fox. All of these poorer folk were likely to have connections to their hidden 'hero', and suddenly Lex was paying closer attention to the woman strolling away from him. Of course, he understood what the guard was trying to imply, but this was a world where even the innocent might be dirty criminals beneath their smiles.

“Do you know anything about her?” Lex seriously asked.

“No, sir. She comes and goes—lives somewhere near Armand actually. She's pretty for a Bosmer.” Lex grunted in indifference. He would keep a closer eye on that girl for a few days. There was no telling from where his next lead might come.

This post has been edited by Ornamental Nonsense: Jul 29 2010, 02:49 PM

[Destri Melarg]

A belated welcome to the forum, Nonsense. I am glad that I wandered in here. You have an engaging style in which I see both the mind of the craftsman and the heart of the entertainer. Some of your lines were wonderfully effective:

“He’d arrest me for assault,” she huffed with a pout, and Methredhel’s eyes went wide.

What’s not to like about this sentence? Economy, humor, and subtext mingled together seamlessly!

Perhaps you don’t really like him, but at this rate, you might find yourself liking what you don’t want to. That’s why we don’t watch a target for an extended period of time. It sometimes makes things complicated.

This paragraph made Methredhel into a three dimensional character for me. I’m not even sure why really, the wisdom of the professional thief combined with the protective instincts of friendship perhaps. As an aside I would advise you that you don’t really need the comma after the word ‘rate’.

This passage marks you as a true wordsmith:

. . ., trusting commonsense to elaborate the unspoken remainder of his thoughts to the captain, . . .

Overall this was an absolute pleasure to read from start to finish. My only nitpick is a purely personal one that you can address or disregard as you see fit:

I notice that in your build-up to Mandila trying to illicit conversation with Lex you give the impression that this is a singular event, a dangerous game that she has entered into with the watch captain presumably out of lack of anything better to do. Yet when Lex leaves she consoles herself by swearing that ‘she’d get a conversation out of him one day’, the implication being that this is a familiar game played between the two. Lex gave no indication that he recognized her, but you account for that with your description of his single-mindedness. I just wasn’t sure if this was something that Mandila decided to do, or decided to do again. If it is the first then it gives us some insight as to the careful, deliberate nature of her personality (the fact that she would watch him from afar for so long before taking any kind of action). If it is the second then it gives us a clear indication of just how long she has carried the torch, and what her carrying that torch has meant to Lex.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I look forward to reading more.

This post has been edited by Destri Melarg: Jul 26 2010, 10:11 AM

[haute ecole rider]

I enjoyed the interplay between Meth and Mandil, especially their discussion of Lex.

Your presentation of Lex is so spot on! It explains so much about the character as we see him in the game. I loved his oblivious inattention to the watching Bosmer until one of the more observant guards point it out to him, and chuckled at the direction his thoughts took once he was 'enlightened!'

I do echo what Destri said. And I look forward to more.

[SubRosa]

Interesting beginning for a story. Most F (fictions) I have seen revolve around the main quests of the games, or other large events. It is refreshing to see one about the little people, the thieves of the IC. I especially like seeing Methredhel, as she is one of my favorite characters from the game. I cannot keep my hands off of her either.

“Did you fall from a tree when you were younger?” Methredhel asked.
I thought this line was priceless.

Mandila's actions are very spot on for a young woman (since she is female, shouldn't she be Womandila? Seriously, have you noticed how many ES names start with "Man-"?). There were so many points where I found myself nodding and thinking "Yep, seen that before,". It is obvious already that she is going to get herself in way over her head!

This post has been edited by SubRosa: Jul 25 2010, 09:16 PM

[Remko]

I really enjoyed it that. Hope to see more soon

[Acadian]

Well, I'm all about character-driven stories and this certainly ranks up there. With an interesting character like this, I don't care one whit if they spend a story just sittin' on the dock of the bay. . . .

Fabulous scene between Mandila and Methie. You did a great job of showing us what Mandila was thinking - and I found her thoughts a delightfully fun swirling thing to read. You paint Mandila as a character that seems to simply belong right there on the Waterfront.

for the rest of forever

I really chuckled over this.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Jul 26 2010, 04:04 PM

[Ornamental Nonsense]

Thanks for the comments, everyone. It's nice to hear your thoughts, advice, etc. on the story. In general, I focus on character-driven pieces, so there will be a lot of interplay between different personalities, but there will also be some plot turns that will be familiar to you if you've played through the Thieves' Guild quests. Of course, there will also be quite a bit that isn't connected to the game's quests at all. It's not that I have anything against people who make their stories follow quests, main or otherwise, but I find it much more interesting and refreshing to dabble in 'what-if' events that are peripheral to the game. The Elderscrolls' world is so large that any number of such stories could exist right around the corner.

Here's the next chapter, and I hope that you all enjoy it!

Chapter 2:

“Afternoon,” Mandila greeted Lex. She was perched on a barrel with a mug of ale in hand, and although she was extremely tired after last night's work, she managed to sound chipper. The fatigue was well worth what she'd accomplished, for she'd gotten her hands on a rare necklace that had absolutely delighted Armand. She'd even been promoted for it, and now she got to see her favorite captain, which made the day that much better. Actually, she'd seen Lex twice today, for she'd left her target's home in the early morning hours, and he'd already been out and about. Of course, he hadn't seen her, and for that she was grateful. The man might be fun to play with, but raising his suspicions would make her life hell.

“Afternoon,” Lex replied, and his feet stopped moving. Mandila stared, mug frozen half-way to her lips. Why was he stopping? He never stopped to say more than a greeting, and sometimes not even that if he was busy. She couldn't believe her eyes.

“Can I do something for you?” she asked, and found herself looking at his mouth. His lips really did look soft. Oh hell, she shouldn't be thinking about that. Then again, if she stole that kiss, Methredhel would have the shock of her lifetime. The look on the woman's face might be worth risking jail time, but even so, Mandila knew when her impulses were best left alone. Sometimes the entertainment value simply wasn't worth the cost, but only rarely.

“I have a few questions,” Lex stated. Me too, she thought.

“I don't know how helpful someone like me can be,” she smiled, “But ask away.” His somber face didn't falter once as he talked, and rather than focusing on his words, Mandila found herself wondering if he ever laughed—not a weak, humoring laugh, but a full-blown one. She watched the way that his jaw moved when he talked, and how his blue eyes silently demanded answers. The intensity—that was it. That had to be what interested her so much, for it was a rare sight, especially when in pursuit of justice. Perhaps, if a man like him had been around when she'd been younger, her elder brother would never have been murdered.

“Do you know anything about the Grey Fox?” Lex asked. So that was what he wanted.

“Perhaps,” Mandila mischievously replied, but baiting Lex might not have been the wisest idea. Oh, how her mouth sometimes ran away from her. She momentarily wanted to slap herself, but she still smiled in amusement. There was no choice but to roll with her predicament now. “I'll answer your question, but it will cost you,” she continued, and Lex looked downright disgusted. Only he could look that revolted over such a simple comment.

“Leave it to your kind to ask for money,” he nearly spat.

“I don't want money,” she told him, and the man's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“And what, good citizen, do you want?” he demanded. “Be careful what you suggest. I could have you slapped in chains and forced to answer my questions if you won't cooperate.”

“I'm flattered that you think me worth the time,” she simply replied, and loved how his face tensed. Gods, the man would be put in an early grave by his stern disposition. It couldn't be healthy to be serious all of the time. “I want to ask you a question,” she continued. “You answer my question, and I'll answer yours.” With a long-suffering sigh, Lex slowly nodded.

“What is your question?”

“How old are you?”

“Thirty,” came the sharp response. “Now answer the question of importance.”

“I know nothing besides the rumors,” Mandila told him with an exaggerated shrug, making Lex scowl. She simply wore a mirthful and sneaky grin that apparently did nothing to improve his mood.

“Good day, citizen,” he roughly told her. “If you learn anything a bit more detailed, you know where to find me.” She surely did, and the man had no idea how predictable his location always was. He rose early, came to the harbor, worked, patrolled, stopped for lunch in the market district, worked some more, and then went back to his rooms for the night. It was clockwork, and anyone else would have found watching him boring, but not Mandila. There was an exactness to his every movement that somehow captivated her. Like now, for he was diverting his gaze to a group of people standing some yards away from them, and he managed to make even that slight shift look regal.

“If I have to tell those sailors one more time...” Lex lowly commented, and Mandila turned to see what was happening to draw his eye.

“Not again,” she muttered, her face adopting an exasperated expression not unlike the captain's. The pirates that periodically docked here were harassing Puny Ancus again, surrounding the poor, Imperial beggar so that he couldn't walk away from their taunts. The man's scruffy face was downturned, staring at the stones beneath him as his arms protectively encircled the small sack that he carried, and Mandila's spirit flared at the sight. She knew Ancus since he slept near her house, and he was one of the kindest listeners that she'd ever met. He was also weak and indecisive, which made him an easy a target for the harbor's brutes.

“Look at him!” a female pirate laughed. “He can't even form words.”

“Yeah, skinny little fetcher,” another mocked. “What's in the bag?” Mandila could tell that Lex was considering how far his involvement should go, but he seemed content to bide his time. That was exactly like him, she thought. Like most guards, he didn't get involved in petty squabbles if he could avoid it, and especially not to defend a beggar. In fact, the guards sometimes worsened the problem by laughing when a beggar was tossed into a puddle or verbally abused. Such actions had helped widen the gulf between officials and the waterfront people, who saw guard noninvolvement as another sign of justice's biased nature. Mandila often agreed with that thinking, which was why she was in the guild, but she still found herself expecting Lex to intervene. She might expect nothing from another man in uniform, but Lex was different.

“Here, let me help you,” a pirate sarcastically offered, violently shoving Ancus forward and knocking him off balance. The poor man lost his sack as he stumbled, and to his obvious horror, it hit the ground before he could grab it. Plump, red fruit scattered across the stone walkway from within its folds, some rolling into the filth that people tended to leave lying around. The pirates laughed and moved to give Ancus another shove as he frantically tried to retrieve his food, and that was the last straw for Mandila. She set her ale aside and stood to intervene, but to her surprise, someone else beat her to the task.

“You there!” Lex's voice boomed. “That's enough. If I have to tell you to mind your hands one more time, I'll fetter them.” The female pirate sneered and pinned Lex with a withering glare, but it had no effect on the man. He walked directly toward the group as if he were untouchable, Ancus cowering at his feet, and one hand ominously landing on his sword's hilt. “I won't warn you again,” he threatened. “Now take your business elsewhere.”

“Let's go,” the female pirate spat. The rowdy group then grumbled in response, but moved down the harbor toward their ship, and Mandila rushed forward to help Ancus collect his berries. She knelt beside the tensed man and began scooping the ruined morsels into his waiting hands. She wasn't sure if the beggar was acting jittery because of his encounter with the pirates or the fact that Lex's presence was looming over them.

“Those better not be stolen,” Lex warned, and Mandila looked upward. They were working in Lex's shadow, and she found herself craning her neck to get a better look at the captain's face, which was obscured by the sun's position behind his head. It seemed to her that even with the lighting against her, his blue eyes shone with purpose. He had acted as she'd hoped he would, and as she thought about that, she wondered what would possess her to be disappointed if he had merely walked away from the scene. His currently cold and accusing stare was nothing special, and even hostile, which, she decided, was what she should have expected instead of help.

“They're...they're mine, sir,” the beggar was nervously saying.

“I hope so,” Lex replied and turned to leave. Mandila felt his departure even though she was looking at the ground, and she noticed that Ancus gave a shudder in the man's wake.

“Damn pirates. Damn captain,” the beggar muttered. Mandila smiled reassuringly and laid a hand on his shoulder. The man was focused on retying his sack, but he looked at her as she gave him a light squeeze. It was obvious from the way that he scanned his surroundings that Lex scared him, but that was normal. The captain followed the letter of the law to an exactness that bordered on obsession, and he was a real stickler for punishment. It was enough to scare most out-of-luck individuals, who loathed Lex as the most meddlesome official to ever walk the docks.

“Don't you worry about the captain,” Mandila advised. “He might not have an ounce of mercy, but he doesn't have evidence either. You enjoy your meal, Ancus.” And the beggar showed her his crooked grin.

“Aye, Miss. Thanks for your help.” But it really hadn't been her help that saved the situation. I doubt that I could have done a better job than Lex. The man had ended coldly and hadn't been overly concerned for the beggar, but he had at least scared off the pirates, whereas Mandila's commands would likely have been ignored. Lex's authority was stronger than hers by a long shot.

“You need to learn to stand up for yourself, Ancus,” she warned the dirty man as she reached out a hand and helped him to his feet. “Things wouldn't be so bad if you said something.”

“To who?” he demanded. “The snotty guards? Nah, if I open my mouth, it's still bad. It's best to keep quiet and take it. That way they get bored.” It was a sad philosophy, but a realistic one, and Mandila had to concede that Ancus had point. The guards didn't care, and other poor people didn't want to get overly involved lest they become targets as well. Sometimes the harbor was a world of willful ignorance, and the Grey Fox offered protection because of that. He did something for these people, and if the authorities would do their job with the same consideration for the poor that he had, the Grey Fox wouldn't have such a strong following, but reality wasn't kind. Lex wasn't kind, but Mandila still couldn't help but think that he looked so promising in his shining armor. Heroes were suppose to look like that.

She sighed as she watched Ancus scurry away for his bed roll. She was truly sorry that Lex was not the hero that his appearance might suggest, but maybe she wouldn't like a real hero anyway. Her eyes lifted, and she found him standing there. He was watching her from a short distance, and he'd probably heard her entire conversation with Ancus. She nodded briefly in thanks for his assistance, and thought that maybe his head slightly dipped in response before he left.

She smiled at his back and knew that she wouldn't want him to be less than what he was. For one, the guards had to be bad to make the thieves good, and the opposed forces were obstinately determined to view each other as villains. Two, the fact that Lex was her enemy somehow made close interaction with him that much more engaging, and she considered him a worthy foe to poke with a stick. Part of her wished that he would grab the stick instead of always ignoring it, but like today, she wasn't sure what to do once he did give her attention. Why had he decided to talk with her today, when she'd been trying for a conversation for months? It was strange to her thinking, but she wanted it to happen again. She really, truly wanted to speak with Lex again, and feel those determined eyes on her face.

****************

Lex wound his way through the city streets and toward his rooms in the guard tower. He'd made no apparent progress today, which was borderline infuriating, especially since he knew that more could have been done if people took him seriously. What he really needed was a contact within the Thieves' Guild. Then he could plan more arrests, but the real problem was not necessarily knowing who was in the guild, but catching them red-handed. He knew of several guild members, including Armand, but he couldn't prove it to the satisfaction of his superiors, and he couldn't arrest someone without proof of wrongdoing.

He briefly greeted the other guards as he entered the barracks, and then climbed the ladder to the large loft that served as his quarters. Being a captain certainly had its perks, but while he enjoyed the peace and quiet of his private room, it was of less concern to him than making progress. Take the Grey Fox for instance. Lex would do about anything to catch that thief, for the man stood as the symbol of crime in the capital, and that someone could defy orderly society and even flaunt it was beyond aggravating. No one got away with flouting their disregard for authority, as had been drilled into Lex's head since he'd been a child. His father had been a captain, and a damned good one at that, but the man's track record had been nothing impressive. Lex actually suspected that the man had taken bribes, making his father a hypocrite, but that wasn't Lex.

Laws kept civilization from falling apart. Lex believed it not only because he'd been taught that, but because he'd watched people. When guards were taken off of particular streets, crime increased in that area. It was shameful how people would take advantage of a situation like that, and it sickened him to know that without patrols, the city would be in horrible condition. He helped maintain the order that made the empire possible, but there were so many mediocre men under his command. It wasn't that they weren't skilled or intelligent; it was that they weren't concerned with fully dedicating themselves to tracking down an organization that, for all intents and purposes, was so elusive and secretive that most denied its existence.

That brought Lex back to the Grey Fox, the man that was the leader of the pack, and taking him out would scatter lesser thieves and make them easier to pick off. One by one, they would go to prison for their crimes, and Lex anticipated that day—all the more so because he loved a challenge. Taking out easy opponents never fired his spirits like following leads into unknown territory, and that's where real satisfaction was to be had at the end of the day. It didn't help that the Grey Fox had humiliated him when he'd gone after Armand several months ago, and thanks to the resulting ridicule and frustration, he would never let that man go. He would prove the guild's existence to the world and show everyone that he was not some fervent nut touched by Sheogorath!

“Damn!” he angrily cursed as he removed his armor. He was sick of being one step behind his enemies, and it almost always felt that way. He ran a hand over his short, brown hair, and found himself thinking about that female Bosmer's words from that afternoon. For some reason, he could not get them out of his head.

He might not have an ounce of mercy, but he doesn't have evidence either.

Of course he didn't have mercy for criminals. They took what wasn't theirs instead of earning what they wanted. They had no right to expect mercy, and yet, the woman hadn't said those words with the usual bitterness that he expected from the waterfront people. She had sounded a bit disappointed when he considered the situation in retrospect. The woman was compassionate, or so it seemed, but that particular emotion had little room in his career. He didn't want to be soft. He wanted to be the one who always caught the criminal and dealt out punishment with consistency. That was fair and just, if not always to everyone's liking.

He sat down at his desk and opened the letter that was waiting for him. It was an invitation to a formal event at the palace, and yet another event that he was obligated to attend, even if he'd rather be unwinding in the quiet of his own room. He tossed the letter aside and thought about his day, the most eventful moment having been his interaction with the Bosmer.

She was slender, and had small, brown eyes with long lashes. Her hazelnut hair was always let loose around her shoulders, and she wore plain breeches and a tunic every single day. He had been thinking about her more frequently since yesterday, and had been paying closer attention when he entered the harbor this afternoon. He felt stupid for it now, but was it just him, or did she lean out a little further from the barrel to see where he was? She had smiled when she saw him, but he had never given her a reason to desire his presence. In fact, he had discouraged it with his short answers, but she always said something to him, and it was usually sarcastic. He wondered why she made the effort, and tried to remember whether anything notable had ever happened between them, but he couldn't find what he wanted.

When he had first started working, she never spoke to him, or at least, he was fairly certain of that. He'd watched her walk around, but not very often during the day, and then she'd said 'hello' one afternoon. After that, she'd said something every day, and he supposed that there was at least one encounter that stood out in his mind. It had been on a rainy afternoon, and he'd been waiting beneath a doorway for the heavy drops to stop falling. The Bosmer had suddenly come running through the rain, laughing like a madwoman with a friend hot on her heels.

Lex remembered how childish they had looked, splashing water on one another and giggling, but then she'd noticed him, and like every damned day, she had to speak. There, standing with her soaked hair plastered to her forehead, and with the tips of her pointed ears protruding from the stringy mess, she'd grinned and asked him if he was enjoying the weather.

“No, citizen,” he said. “I'm not.”

“Oh, well I guess it's difficult to play with that armor on anyway,” she teased. “Maybe some other day.”

“Not likely.” And she looked up into his eyes with a searching expression that he had not expected, as if staring into his face might tell her some secret. She looked more sober than usual, like she was puzzled and could not tear herself away from him.

“Your eyes,” she had told him. “You have the prettiest eyes, sir.” Then she seemed to snap out of her haze, and she giggled. “Good day!” Her friend grabbed her hand, and the two went off gallivanting, a pair of juvenile Bosmer being the only morons insane enough to risk getting sick for a bit of fun.

Strangely, Lex did not remember the incident with scorn as his word choice might suggest. Instead, he had almost sighed at their carefree nature, for he couldn't remember having ever felt like that in his entire life. Ever. There was something about that Bosmer that was perpetually energetic and curious, always snooping, always asking questions and making cryptic comments that tended to annoy him.

How old are you?

Please explain to him how that question had any significance. He had answered because it was simple enough, and he wanted the Grey Fox so badly that he really hadn't thought about whether or not he should answer the question. A damn strange question to be sure, but the elf was like that. At least she had a clean record. He had reprimanded her on more than one occasion for creating a scene or some such thing, but it was always minor and only a result of her brand of humor. He didn't think that he should seriously pursue her as a possible guild member, but one could never tell. He had to be prepared for anything.

This post has been edited by Ornamental Nonsense: Jul 29 2010, 02:56 PM

[Remko]

The 2nd chapter was even better. I loved how you explained through thoughtprocesses and dialogues what happened in the months before.

My hat's off to you milady

Edit: corrected

This post has been edited by Remko: Jul 27 2010, 11:45 AM

[Ornamental Nonsense]

Sir? Now hold on a minute. Last time I checked, I didn't have the proper equipment for that form of address.

Yours truly,
Miss Ornamental Nonsense

[haute ecole rider]

I agree with Remko, the second chapter was even better than the first, and the first had me stifling chuckles throughout!

I loved how well you portrayed Lex's single-mindedness, his focus on the Grey Fox even with a young Bosmer flirting in front of him!

"How old are you?" indeed!

The interactions with the pirates is delicious and highlights the anarchic bullying nature of pirates in general. Poor Puny Ancus! He is one of my favorite beggars in Oblivion.

[Zalphon]

Very well written.

[Acadian]

You do indeed have quite a way of bringing your characters to life. This is great fun to read.

Wood elves dancing in the rain!

[Destri Melarg]

I agree with everyone else. This chapter was better than the first, and I really liked the first. Your portrayal of Lex is absolutely perfect (though I do admit some small disappointment that you didn’t mention the fact that he is a painter. That always struck me as hilarious). The background you gave him with the stern father who may or may not have been on the take goes a long way toward telling us where his single-mindedness comes from. And I am eager to see how he manages to find a contact within the Thieves Guild.

[SubRosa]

Another good installment. I echo the others in saying it read better than the first segment. I thought you did a good job of portraying the distrust which the poor have for the police. If you go to Detroit, you will find more people who consider the police the enemy rather than being on their side. Those are not criminals either, but regular people.

Once again I liked your portrayal of Lex. He is the stiff-necked stick in the mud that we all know and love. Mandila is a lot of fun as well. Her thought processes feel so very natural, that she comes alive on the page as a real, breathing person. As the others did, I especially liked her and Methredhel's fun in the rain!


nits:
“I know nothing besides the rumors,” Mandila told him with an exaggerated shrug, and Lex scowled, realizing that she had only been playing with him. She wore a mirthful and sneaky grin that was preferable to the open rebukes that his superiors gave him, but no less frustrating. No one took his hunt for the Grey Fox seriously, not even this slip of a woman.
I cite this because the segment it is a part of begins from Mandila's point of view. Then here we are suddenly inside Lex's head and hearing his thoughts. It is very jarring. When you want to change to the pov of another character, you need to stop the scene, put in a divider of some kind, then start it again from the other character's pov. That way we know things are shifting.


for the man stood as the symbol of crime in the capitol
That should be capital.


It was shameful how people would taken advantage of a situation like that
Looks like the Grey Fox reverse-pickpocketed an "n" into take.


or did she learn out a little further from the barrel to see where he was?
He got an "n" into lean as well.

[Ornamental Nonsense]

@ SubRosa: Yeah, the police thing is quite interesting, isn't it? I always thought that Lex's inability to get results stemmed from his lack of understanding in that regard, and so, I wondered what would happen if he was forced to confront his own faults. It's been my goal to write a story where his stiffness is challenged, and where his personality could be a bit more fleshed out than in the game. Hopefully this story reaches that goal. Also, I have corrected the grammatical errors that you mentioned, and thanks for pointing them out.

@Melarg: I COMPLETELY forgot that Lex paints! Goodness gracious! Considering how long ago I originally posted this story on another site, I can't believe that no one else mentioned that. Actually, perhaps it's perfectly believable since the other site really lacked in quality reviews. I'm not saying that the reviews weren't supportive and nice to see, but it was clear that people weren't interested in providing details or pointers for improvement. This site is totally different, and I mean that in the best way possible.
That aside, I'm already planning to include this new painting bit into the story as I edit it. I can see great potential for humor in this...

@the other reviewers: I'm thrilled that you're all enjoying the story, and it's wonderful to know that you're already attached to the characters.

[Ornamental Nonsense]

Chapter 3:

Ah, another beautiful day on the waterfront. Mandila stood atop the central lighthouse that dominated the docks, and watched a ship with large, white sails approach while happily striking up a soft tune. Her voice wasn't exactly melodic, so she only ever sang when alone, which basically meant never. Here, in the lighthouse at least, she was safe from scornful critics, and oh, but did she have her share of them! Methredhel was one, the sister thief having once told Mandila that there were mudcrabs with better voices.

“As if she can sing,” Mandila smiled to herself. She was supposed to be clearing her head by coming up here, but she found that the exact opposite was happening, for her favorite captain wouldn't depart from her mind. She could see him from here, marching toward one of the Legion offices, and she smiled as she thought about what she could do to engage him today. Then again, her thoughts weren't exactly all fun and games. She kept returning to the question of kissing, and she found herself more attracted to the idea than she cared to admit. It was unbecoming of her to like the man, even if she admired him.

Admired? Mandila's face crinkled in consternation, and she reprimanded herself for dwelling on this situation for such an extended period of time. Her other fascinations had each lasted about a month, but this...she counted and wanted to slap herself in the forehead. Four months! Four whole months, and now she was talking about admiring him. Well, there was something to be admired in his ironclad figure. Lex knew what he wanted, pursued it no matter what anyone else thought, and he was smart. He alone knew that the Thieves' Guild existed when most everyone else couldn't see it. So there he was, talented and determined, and he pulled it off so well. There was something to be admired in that, especially when Mandila compared him to herself, for she had no idea where her life was going.

Sure, Mandila was a thief, and she stole for the guild. That was her calling, and she had friends that looked out for her, as well as a small hut beside Armand's, but beyond that...Well, she confessed that she didn't know what she wanted beyond that, or if she should want something more, because hoping for more than the little that she had seemed pointless. She was optimistic, but not delusional, and she knew that her life would forever be on this waterfront. It was all she had since she was too poor to travel, too poor to be accepted for a decent paying job, and too curious to settle for a normal life. She couldn't imagine being a dock worker and performing the same task day after day. The monotony would kill her, and yet, no one would hire her for anything more interesting if it didn't involve stealing.

What would she do when she grew too old to do the exciting jobs? Would the guild even allow her to be an active member? She didn't want to be a beggar, and she prided herself on supporting herself, but theft would not always be easy, and she would not always be young and welcome the challenge of running from guards. Prison: was that where her life would end? She watched Lex working, and for a moment she looked on him with envy. He never had to hide, and he never had to worry about where he'd be fifteen years from now, because captains tended to retire well, and he could do his job well into old age.

But I'm freer than him, Mandila reminded herself. She'd decided weeks ago that his lifestyle wouldn't work for her, and she supposed that there were worse things than being a thief with an unknown future. She hopped down the steps of the lighthouse and out the front door, pausing on the stone walkway beyond when she noticed two guards standing nearby. They were looking at one of Lex's Grey Fox posters--those funny wanted ads that peppered the city. From what Mandila understood, Lex was solely responsible for their appearance and placement, for his superiors didn't believe in the man's infamous nemesis.

“He's been putting more of these up,” one of the guards commented, and his companion snorted.

“He's wasting his time. Look at him. He walks around like he's on a mission from the emperor,” and the man shook his helmeted head. “Can you believe it? You'd think that he'd lay off the work a little instead of chasing shadows.”

“Don't count on it,” the other stated. “I've invited him to drink with us several times, and he's always too busy. I don't think that he knows the meaning of the word 'fun'. And have you ever seen him with a woman?” They laughed, and Mandila found herself frowning. She wondered if all the guards talked about their superior this way. It'd be like her badmouthing Armand or the Grey Fox, which she never did. Okay, maybe she made a few jabs at Armand's penchant for taking speaking about guild business in public so seriously, but he was her friend, and she wasn't malicious with her comments. Perhaps Lex didn't have friends among his comrades, but that seemed an awfully lonely way to live. She'd never thought about whether or not he was lonely before, only how magnificent he looked, and how easy he was to irritate.

“Between you and me,” one of the guards was saying. “The man would run out on the most beautiful woman in the world if someone told him that the Grey Fox had been spotted, even if she was stark naked and in his bed.”

“Damn straight,” the other chuckled. “Let's get back to patrol before he shows up.”

“Yeah, but what about this poster? They're an eyesore.”

“Take it down. No one's watching,” and the guard ripped the wanted poster off of the wall, crumpled it, and tossed it onto the ground. Mandila waited until they were gone and grabbed the ball of paper, pretending not to have heard their conversation, and then strolling down the stone bridge at the harbor's center. She didn't know why it had never occurred to her that Lex was a loner because of his personality and work. She'd always pictured him hanging out in the guard tower, downing brandy with some of the other guards, and talking about any progress he'd made that day. Apparently she'd been wrong, but even she had to smile when she thought about the captain running out on a naked woman. She could easily see that happening.

The Grey Fox? Where?

Speak of a daedric prince, there he was, exiting the office with a rolled scroll in his hands. Part of Mandila warned her that even an innocent fascination should not go beyond a superficial stage, and so she should not be thinking about his personal life. It was taboo to do so, for that was not how she had ever handled these situations. Still, it was interesting, and she found that she liked seeing Lex with multiple layers. Somehow it made him more tangible, like he was flesh and bone beneath that shining armor, and not just a symbol of his station. And she had better not tell Methredhel that, or the older thief would jump all over her, and rightly so. Mandila wondered if something was wrong with her own brain since she recognized danger and ran toward it anyway.

Lex caught sight of Mandila, and she could tell by the slight hitch in his sweeping gaze. He was walking away though, and she smiled as she pursued him. After so many encounters, the man should have known better than to try and avoid her. She did not give up so easily.

"Captain?" she called. Now he couldn't ignore her without looking like a total jerk, and she forced herself to contain an outright, wicked smile as he stopped and turned to face her.

"Citizen," he acknowledged.

"I do have a name, you know," Mandila asserted. "Not all of us like to be addressed by a title."

"And how would you prefer me to address you?" Lex asked. What? He didn't know her name by now? Mandila was slightly offended by that. After all, she only talked to him every single blessed day.

"Mandila," she told him. "You can call me that, and stop this 'citizen' nonsense."

"As you wish...Mandila," he relented, and then he was walking away. She was being dismissed, but she wasn't about to give up, and so she fell in step beside the man. He glanced over at her with those baby blue eyes of his, and seemed to be assessing the situation. "Can I do something for you, ma'am? I'm very busy at the moment."

"You're always busy," Mandila pointedly replied. "You're always on the waterfront, and always going to and fro, looking for something. People might even say that you're a bit obsessed." That made Lex stop and give her his full attention. "It's obvious to everyone here that you're hellbent on completing your mission, and not everyone sees that as a good thing." She handed him the crumpled poster, and his eyes narrowed. "It wasn't me, sir," she promised. "It was someone with a sword."

"The guards should spend less time gossiping and more time working," came Lex's stiff reply. She'd obviously hit a nerve, and he brushed her aside as his walk became fiercer. That anger made Mandila lag behind a moment before she jogged back to his side, struggling to keep up with his longer strides.

"Citiz—Mandila," he corrected himself. Maybe he hoped that using her real name might placate and send her away. "Surely you have somewhere to be."

"I do," she told him, "But I want to speak with you." He cast her a doubtful expression, and she smiled with all the Bosmer charm that she could muster. "Is it so hard to believe that someone might wish to have a conversation with the infamous Captain Lex?" He ran his eyes over her, again seemingly lost in thought, and now he was forced to stop walking, for they'd reached the edge of the harbor.

"Sir," Mandila continued, her smile slipping. "I wanted to thank you for yesterday. You helped Ancus when no one else would, and I know that it would have been easier to ignore him." She met Lex's eyes, and she had the strangest urge to touch his face. No, that couldn't be right, but it didn't seem like such a terrible idea either. She found herself wanting to see him smile or least go back to his normal, solemn expression, rather than display such an irritated face. It was her fault, because she'd brought up the issue of other guards' disrespect toward him, and he didn't deserve that. It might be fun to wind him up, but right now she felt the need to tell him that someone took him seriously. She owed him thanks for what he'd done, and no one else was going to give it to him, not even other guards it seemed.

"I appreciate what you did," she said, realizing that her mouth was still moving, and wondering what nonsense she had spouted while lost in thought. Lex regarded her, and then tossed the destroyed poster onto the street. As for Mandila, she just wanted him to know that someone appreciated how different he was from other officials. Maybe he could see it in her earnest words and expression...

**********************

"I was only doing my duty," Lex told her, his face softening by a fraction. She was staring into his eyes with a searching expression again, as if nothing in the world was as important as him, and for his part, Lex wasn't entirely sure what to do about it. No one had ever looked at him with such positive intensity. And now the Bosmer was again smiling, and she coyly placed her hands behind her back as she leaned forward.

"Maybe so, but are you the only guard that has that duty? You're not like the others."

"The Imperial Legion holds high standards for all of its members," he stressed, understanding her implication, and slightly annoyed that a young, jobless girl would blatantly speak against the Legion's honor. Then again, she wasn't completely off the mark with her comment either, and it seemed that at least one person recognized that he strove to do his job better than the others. If only his superiors would see his efforts in the same light as this Bosmer. Should he be flattered by her words? He might have been if he wasn't distracted by her random jump to another topic.

"So can I hold your sword?" Mandila asked, her eyes fixed on the weapon at his waist. He inwardly sighed, but she, on the other hand, looked downright elated at having had a real conversation with him.

"No," he shortly told her, and then spun on his heel. He wasn't supposed to go back to the barracks yet, but he would if it afforded him some peace and quiet. He heard someone moving beside him, and was puzzled by this woman's tenacity in bothering him. Gods, she was still there. "Citizen," he began, stopping and turning on her yet again. "You've expressed your thanks, so why must you continue to ask inane questions?" The Bosmer laughed, and it was a pleasant, soft sound that filled the area and drew attention to them.

"Captain Lex," she said. "I happen to like your company, but have it your way. You win. Good day." She grinned and sped by him, but not before giving his face another long look. He could not for the life of him understand what drew that carefree elf to him. My elf, he sarcastically corrected himself. From what he had seen of her so far, he gathered that she liked to play games, and he was sure that he made a tempting target for an energetic tree-hugger like her. Well, if she thought that he would lay down and accept such a well-meaning explanation as "I like your company", then she was wrong. Even if she wasn't with the Grey Fox, which he hadn't discounted, she was still trying to get to him.

And if she does just like your company? Lex couldn't bring himself to think so simply when he did nothing but brush her aside, but they had talked today. Perhaps it hadn't been as torturous as he'd anticipated, and then there was the fact that she had thanked him for his services, which had seemed sincere enough. He hated to admit it, but he had enjoyed the praise, and even the suggestion that he was better than the other guards. What he wanted to know was why she had suddenly felt the need to show appreciation rather than goading him like usual. It wasn't like her to be serious with him, and although he secretly liked what she had said, he couldn't help but wonder at her motivations.

****************************

"So he's making you laugh now, is he?" Methredhel asked. Mandila rolled her eyes as she and her friend moved toward the water's edge. They found a grassy patch on the banks that tapered off from the docks, and sat in anticipation of a quick lunch without interruption. What little food they could afford was quickly spread between them, Mandila picking a small worm off of an apple.

"I laughed because I managed to irritate him," she stated while taking a bite out of said apple.

"At the end," Methredhel corrected. "Come on, sister, don't try to lie to me. I was watching the entire thing. You were actually talking to him—not poking fun, but talking, as in having a conversation. And for a while, he looked rather interested in what you were saying." Mandila grinned and winked.

"I told you that I'd get him to talk to me one day," she proudly proclaimed.

"Yes, but have you gotten a kiss yet?" Mandila tossed the apple core aside and flopped backward onto the grass. Methredhel was closely watching her reaction, and she didn't appreciate it.

"I might be working on it," she teased, "But honestly, do you think that I'd destroy my reputation for a kiss? I don't think that I'm the one who fell from a tree." But she was secretly thinking about Lex's soft lips, and she couldn't help but wonder what they felt like. Admitting her true interest to her friend would be suicide though, so she kept her inner musings to herself.

"Still in denial, I see," Methredhel commented. "Be careful that you don't get too close to him. If you start talking to him, you might start to want more than what's acceptable..."

"Please," Mandila snorted. "You said it yourself: my fascinations never last long...even if this one's been a while." She wondered if she'd get to converse with the captain again tomorrow. She hoped that he'd be up for it, but her thought was cut short, for suddenly Methredhel was laughing. "What?" Mandila demanded.

"You have that dreamy look again," she said. "Thinking about him?" Mandila frowned, having been caught red-handed. "I thought so. Look, he's handsome, but you're taking this too far. If you kiss him to prove a point to me, it's fine, right? But if you kiss him because you want to, that's a huge problem. You should ask yourself which one it is."

"It won't get out of hand," Mandila promised.

"It better not, or we'll have to hit you with rocks until you come to your senses." Mandila jokingly shoved Methredhel, who shoved her back. Soon they were giggling and stumbling back to their shacks, spotting Armand in the process. His darker skin glistened with sweat from a recent run, and the two fellow thieves waved in greeting. He smiled and nodded back, but there was something different about him today. Mandila thought that his eyes might have rested on a her a moment longer than usual, and she was brilliant at picking up subtle communication.

Armand was displeased.

"Does he know?" Mandila asked once the man was gone.

"He's heard things," Methredhel replied. "But he knows not to take it seriously. You know how he is—taking things with more weight than he should. He'll get over it." Mandila nodded and journeyed into the city to scout for possible targets, even pickpocketing a merchant while she was there. Part of her wondered if Lex had been affected by her earlier words, because she wanted him to be, even if she shouldn't.

This post has been edited by Ornamental Nonsense: Jul 30 2010, 06:03 PM

[haute ecole rider]

This was pretty good! Mandila's reflection on her future is sobering. The guards' talk about Lex illustrated the Legion's attitude toward him, and really highlights his loneliness.

"So can I hold your sword?" Mandila asked, her eyes fixed on the weapon at his waist.

Are you sure her eyes aren't fixed lower? It's like the kid asking the cop "Can I hold your gun?"

"I appreciate what you did," she said, realizing that her mouth was still moving, and wondering what nonsense she had spouted while lost in thought. Lex regarded her, and then tossed the destroyed poster onto the street. She was staring into his eyes with a searching expression again, as if nothing in the world was as important as him, and for his part, Lex wasn't entirely sure what to do about it. No one had ever looked at him with such positive intensity. And as for Mandila, she just wanted him to know that someone appreciated how different he was from other officials. Maybe he could see it in her earnest words and expression...

I get the sense that you changed POV twice here, and doing so in the same paragraph can be quite disorienting.

I did notice a few typos in the later part of the chapter:

"You said it yourself: my fascinations never last long...even if this ones been a while."

You seem to have lost the contractive apostrophe here.

She hoped that he'd be up for it, but her thought was cut shot, for suddenly Methredhel was laughing.

I guess the 'r' thought it was on the firing line and ran off!

His darker skin glistened with sweat from a recent a run, and the two fellow thieves waved in greeting.

Looks like there is an extra 'a' in there.

Overall I enjoyed this chapter quite a bit, and look forward to more!

[Acadian]

Yes, an engaging style and an endearing protagonist. What's not to love? Well done.
I pulled some lines for quote, just because I really liked them.

Mandila wondered if something was wrong with her own brain since she recognized danger and ran toward it anyway.

No, that couldn't be right, but it didn't seem like such a terrible idea either.

realizing that her mouth was still moving, and wondering what nonsense she had spouted while lost in thought.

[Destri Melarg]

This chapter was so much fun to read. I loved the easy banter between Methredhel and Mandila, and their unspoken communication with Armand just underscores the sense of community that exists on the Waterfront.

“So, can I hold your sword?” Mandila asked, her eyes fixated on the weapon at his waist.

Oh no! I Think I have just been slapped by Foxy’s wandering Daedric spirit, Dhertee-Inuu Endo!

A small nit:
After the first break, when we shift to Lex’s point of view (which was nicely done, by the way) you say that Mandila’s laugh was ‘a pleasant, soft sound that filled the area and drew attention to them, including Methredhel’s.’ I don’t think that you should call Methredhel by name in this case. Since we are seeing this side of the conversation from Lex’s perspective, and since he has so much trouble referring to 'Citizens' by name, he would see her as ‘that other Bosmer’, or something to that effect.

[treydog]

Like many of my fellow Chorrollites (Chorrolisters? Chorrolians?), I prefer character-driven stories. But beyond that, I prefer stories that have “heart.” That doesn’t necessarily mean love stories (not that there’s anything wrong with that). In this case, it means stories where I find the characters people who are worth caring about. And you certainly deliver. Mandila and Methredhel are wonderfully depicted and come to life right from the page. But so too do Lex and Puny Ancus…

Your descriptions are vivid and definitive, allowing me to “see” through the characters’ eyes.

Others have already pointed out the parts I enjoyed the most, especially the poignant musing on her possible future.

Now to put on my former English teacher sweater-

From Chapter 1- “Aren't soldiers suppose to be friendly to us good citizens.”

A pet peeve that I am surprised wise Rosa did not spot- “…supposed to…” And I would end with a question mark, as it is a question.

From Chapter 2- …and one hand threateningly landing on his sword's hilt. “I won't warn you again,” he threatened. “Now take your business elsewhere.”

We have 2 “threats” in a short space here. Consider “…and one hand resting ominously on his sword hilt.”

Wonderful writing and I look forward to seeing more.