Hunting, I had never considered hunting. The thought never even occurred to me. Could I hunt? Am I strong enough to hunt? No I’m not. I don’t even know how, but I could learn. Should I give it a try? Anything would be better than begging. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself though; I don’t even have any equipment. That’s when the hooded man spoke again. “Here.” He reached his hand around his back and pulled out an old rusty iron bow and a quiver full of arrows. I took it out of his hands and stared at the piece of moldy wood. There where scratches all over it, and the string felt like it was going to fall off. Then there was what looked like a blood stain where you would put your left hand. And that was nothing compared to the arrows, they looked like they had been used several times before. The arrow head were rusted on almost all of them and a couple didn’t even have the feathers on the sides to straighten flight. Even with everything wrong with it though, nothing ever felt so right. I actually felt good about my self, for the first time in years. This had to be the best gift anyone had ever given me. With this I can make a difference in my life.
When I looked up at the man to thank him about it he was gone. He just disappeared, vanished out of thin air. Am I going crazy? Did he ever even exist? Could this all just be a dream? It is very dreamlike, I just came across him walking though an alley and then after a short conversation he just disappears. Maybe it wasn’t a dream though and this really happened. I looked down at the bow I was holding. If he was a dream then how did I get this bow? It doesn’t even matter if he existed or not he gave me the desire to do more with my life. No longer am I going to beg for food. No longer will I allow people to spit on me and call me names. No longer will I depend on there pity to survive. No I’m going to take it any longer. I’m going to hunt. I will live or die by my own hand, no one else is going to control my life. Tomorrow I become a man.
I woke up the next morning excited. Today I was the day I was going to change my entire way of life. I was going to hunt. Problem is I know nothing about hunting, but how hard can it be? All I have to do is walk around the woods, find an animal and shoot him. Simple or so I thought.
I walked though the door out of the town of Solitude and into the woods. I must have walked three hours with out seeing a damn thing. As thoughts of giving up and quitting entered my head I spotted a huge Elk over the hill. I silently grabbed my bow and strung an arrow up. It was to far away for me to take a good shot. I had to get closer. A couple yards ahead of me there was a snow covered rock, if I could get behind that rock I think I could take a good shot. I stood up and lifted my left foot up through the snow and then I gently put it down in front of me. When I begun to do the same with my other leg, the elk took off apparently I had made to much noise and it heard me. My attempt to sneak up on it failed just like my attempts to do anything else. It’s like my dad said I’m nothing but a failure. He was right to leave.
Maybe I’m not cut out to hunt. Maybe I should just go back to Solitude and beg for food again. It doesn’t look like I’m going to get anything this way. Tears began to fall from my eyes. I’m worthless, I can’t do anything. I should just die. It would be one less person to feed in the world. I can’t even do the most basic things with out failing. I’m the weakest Nord in Tamriel. Look I’m crying, men don’t cry. Warriors don’t cry, they continue on no matter how bleak things may look. Right then something in my head just clicked. They continue on. I stopped crying. They continue on. I have to keep going. I will not become a beggar again! I will accomplish something in my life! I will not rely on others!
Thinking that way I picked up my bow and continue looking for some kind of animal that I could eat. It wasn’t longer before I spotted a deer through the branches. Once again I grabbed my bow, strung up an arrow, and took aim. However this time I didn’t move I just took the shot. The arrow moved through the air like a knife through butter. It pierced the heart of the deer and the deer immediately keeled over.
It was my first kill. I’ve never been so happy in my life. I can’t even describe the sense of accomplishment I felt, for once in my life I actually did something other than beg. I wonder what my father would say if he was here. I bet he wouldn’t be so egger to call me worthless again.
The feeling I felt was short lived though. In my haste to leave the town I forgot one piece of equipment vital to a hunter. I forgot a knife. I came all the way out to the middle of nowhere and walked hours though the woods just so I could forget the knife. What am I going to do? I can’t let this stop me. I’m not going to let this stop me, I can’t. I have come too far to just quit. I reached into my quiver and grabbed an arrow. I snapped the arrowhead off of the arrow and position it in my right hand. Firmly grasping the deer I began to cut the skin off. It wasn’t long before all I had removed the skin of the entire deer. The best part of killing the animal was the proof that I could hunt. I don’t have to beg for food any longer. Now I can be my own man
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Im sitting here in my desolate room, no lights, no music, just silence.- System of a down's sugar
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