A Study in Velvet Options

[Marcel Rhodes]

Hi there all,

I've been reading the material here on and off for a good couple of months. It's great stuff to read, and I thought I'd have a go myself. I apologise in advance for any poor quality, as fanfic isn't my normal line of writing. It's just a spinoff from one of the quests in Oblivion, but I might evolve the main character in further updates if people are interested.

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It is nigh on impossible to get a good high in the Imperial City.

I never understood why you staunch Imperial types banned moon sugar. It means that to obtain my treats, I must go through… unsavoury channels, and today I was entirely unable to find one. Your blasted thjizzrini - your ‘laws’, although our closest translation is ‘foolish concepts’ - and your over-enthusiastic guardsmen saw to that. So instead, I defaulted to legal vices.

I was in the Bloated Float, to be precise. Run by an Altmer, which always struck me as rather odd: shouldn’t he be in a mage’s tower somewhere reading empty books, instead of helping the layabouts of this city drink themselves into Oblivion? I did not, and do not, like this place, but when you’re a Khajiit people tend to look at you funny in what you would doubtless call ‘high-class establishments, not for the likes of you beasts’, and expect you to steal the bar stool.

Oh, for Alkosh’s sake. You’re all confused because I’m a Khajiit, yet I don’t talk like I just took a paralysis spell to the throat. So close-minded. If you ever really listened with those tiny ears of yours, you might learn things.

Anyway. The place was, as always, too crowded. I’d actually had to wrap my tail around my waist to prevent the less agile - or more malicious - punters from standing on it as they go by. It was almost like a skooma den, which is both good and bad. Good, in that no-one is watching you too closely, but bad, in that there’s no skooma.

It would be fair to say that on the moon sugar/skooma front, I am like all Khajiit there ever were.

So there I am, huddled between a Redguard with his nose in the glass, and a boorish, black-haired Nord who wants me to show him a backflip. Neither of these two is any fun. The Redguard is far too quiet. I suppose he’s thinking about stabbing things. Even that, though, would be more enjoyable than this infernal Nord, who now apparently wants to show me something.

“Listen, kitty, I’ve got an offer for you.”

Great. I bet he’s not going to ask me to steal something. Not a chance. He probably wants me to help him compile a history of Summurset Isle. He’s not assuming I’m a born thief. None of that sort of thing. No.

“Ever… ever heard of the, whajemacallit, the, the Golden Galleon?”

Who hadn’t? The Altmer made his living on it. You could just tell by the ten or so self-styled ‘adventurers’ - none of whom looked like a threat to a mudcrab - lounging around the room in leather and cheap swords, hoping to discover the mythical treasure hidden on this boat (and, presumably, buy armour that wasn‘t stitched by a blind man with the proceeds). This place, most days, was filled to the brim with fools who either wanted to be the Nerevarine or the tenth Divine, and it was one of the reasons I tried avoiding it.

“Of course, friend. You don’t believe that silly rubbish, do you? The Golden Galleon is a story I wouldn‘t tell to kittens.”

“Trust me, mate,” the Nord blinked, slowly, “I believe it very much.” Well, that was wonderful and all, but did he have a point here? Oh yes, he probably assumed I could steal it. “What if… if I wanted to get it?”

“In that case, big man,” I said, grinning, “you could always put on some cheap armour and join the twenty other fools chasing that false scent.”

There’s something about a Khajiiti grin that unsettles even the toughest man or mer, I’ve noticed. It’s one of those natural weaknesses: the very idea of a person who has weapons growing out of his paws and face probably does worry those of you who have to lift their own kit with two hands.

Suddenly, he made proper eye contact. “It’s not false. Meet me outside.” The Nord rose - I only then noticed he was the size of at least two and a half Bosmer on top of each other -and walked out the tavern, with only the faintest hint of a stagger. Well, would you look at that. That insobriety was (almost) all an act! To give him his due, this snowwalker was sharper than he let on.

Still, I had a couple of things to ponder before I got on with figuring this out (would I ever leave such a tantalising little titbit hanging? I think not). Firstly: what did he want? Secondly, what on Nirn made him ask me? He couldn’t be choosing his business partners for such an obviously shady activity based on their fur, could he?

I’d just got the impression he wasn’t stupid, so I didn’t think it was as simple as ‘all Khajiit are thieves’. No, he had far more complex reasons, and if they were what I suspected, I would have a serious problem.

This merited a look on those grounds alone, but I also suspected that whatever was going on here would also be rather fun. At least, more fun than this hole. So, after paying my tab, leisurely finishing that brandy, and making sure no-one was watching, I left.

The Nord was dawdling outside on the street, partially obscured by the dark of the night: of course, this presents no problem to my kind, but I also noticed one other, minor problem. Either that figure crouched in the shadows behind the crates in an alleyway was a law-abiding commoner who’d come to check on his investments and taken a wrong turn at the Waterfront or he was connected to the Nord. I assumed the latter, which was something of a bad development. Still, what kind of fool tries to hide from someone with a cat’s eyes?

I was right; as the Nord turned to the shadow as I walked out, and said “It’s alright, he’s unarmed.” Out from the shadows stepped a female Dunmer, clad in leather and carrying an iron blade, which she sheathed as she walked.

Great. Another one.

“We’re sorry about that,” she said, as she reached us, “but you can’t be too careful around here. Those Imperial s’wits are always trying to trick people like us.”

So, criminal to boot. No surprises there.

“I’m sorry.” I said. “I seem to have got myself into a bad situation here…”

“Oh, goodness no!” The Nord laughed, which sounded somewhat akin to an earthquake, or possibly a collapsing building. “We just wanted to have a little businesslike chat, without being listened to by everyone in that cesspit. Sorry about the deceit, m’boy, but there’s no better way to get people to do what you want than when they think you’ve had ten too many.”

“Ah, I see. So you wish to talk… business? Can I still assume this Golden Galleon is involved?”

The Dunmer spoke. “That’s right. You see-”

I dismissed this with a flick of my paw. “You’re wasting your time, girl. That thing doesn’t exist, or if it does, it’s gold leaf on lead.”

“Oh really?” Her red eyes flashed. I probably shouldn’t have called her a ‘girl’. “Well, maybe you can confirm that for us.”

Uh oh. Time to stall. “Perhaps, before we begin such a sensitive discussion, some introductions would be in order.”

The Dunmer shrugged, and looked to the Nord. He nodded: it looked like he was the boss of this outfit.

“Fair enough. I’m Wrath and this is Minx. We’re… two members of a larger whole. And, frankly, your name isn’t important. We know enough about you already, even if not that.”

And now we came to it. “What, exactly, do you think you know about little old me?”

Minx cut in. “You’re a Khajiit-”

“Bonus points for the lady.”

“- and we know you’re likely to help us. We’ve heard you bandied about in, uh, select places, which implies to us that you’re not Thieves’ Guild. But at the same time…” she trailed off. “We suspect you would be interested in our offer.”

I sighed. I would have to follow this up later. “Lady, I am not going to join you on this foolish wild goose chase. The Golden Galleon is a story, it is a lie, it is a legend, it is an urban myth; it is, indeed, many words and phrases which imply falsehood, and, frankly, I don’t think I’d want to associate myself with you two anyway.”

“Listen, furball,” the Nord was clearly not pleased with my implication, “all we want you to do is to nip onto that ship after closing time, and have a look around. That’s all we’re asking. If you find it, you don’t even need to steal it: you can just tell our leader where it is, and we’ll come in and get it. We have our own plans for this heist, and all you have to do for an equal share of the profits is a quick look around in the boat. What’s so hard?”

I looked at them. The idiots! They genuinely believed that the Golden Galleon existed, and that the owner hadn’t thought of moving it. He was hardly going to leave it in some chest under his bed with this sort of rumour going around, now was he? Even if the blasted thing did exist, I wouldn’t be surprised if these two had just walked off of a prison ship, eyes agleam - and blinded - by the promise of riches.

I looked at them again. “I am not interested, and that is final.”

The Nord grimaced, and glanced around him. “In that case, we’re going to have to silence you, and that is final. Minx, we’ve got something to clean up.”

But before either of them could draw their swords, I had glided the six feet between them and I. Why do people insist on thinking they are faster than us? By the time the big Nord’s hand had reached his scabbard, both he and the female were writhing in the grip of my unsheathed claws on their throats, which, besides causing them to fear for their lives, confused them, as said claws are, of course, made of burnished steel. Far sharper than mere bone, and the shock value is also useful.

“Not so, Nord. I am afraid that I do not like that game.” I said, tightening my grip. Small drops of blood rolled down my claws. “For your information: you can call me J’Dar, I am no criminal, I am not going to help you, the Golden Galleon is not there, and you cannot beat me. I think this is all you need to know. Now, drop the weapons.”

Grudgingly, after a shared glance, the two bandits slowly and exaggeratedly dropped their swords, which I swiftly pushed into the Niben with my feet.

“And now, I believe, I shall make my leave.” I said, let go of them, and let them fall to the ground holding their throats as I walked off in the direction of the Elven Gardens. Those two - and their ‘leader’, would probably do something stupid, like try and ransack the place themselves. I shrugged. I supposed I’d go look for Shady Sam again. Let a hero deal with it.

[Marcel Rhodes]

Cheers for the input, folks. I've decided to continue with J'Dar after all: I'm liking his attitude myself. I always played Khajiit in Morrowind, and I'm running through it again with one - it's just a pity that hand-to-hand and unarmoured skills were so useless. Still. I think I've concocted a promising framework for him to work in, so, without further ado, I present the second instalment.

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“So, in short, it is as I suspected.” I said. “The Imperials are at a complete loss, now that the heir is dead.”

I was - and I intend not to make a habit of this, dear reader - in another bar. This time, it was The Five Claws in Leyawiin, which can, for all intents and purposes, be considered my base of operations. I was sitting opposite a cat so famous that we will all have heard of him: some call him Liar, but they have missed something. When we are lying, we are telling the truth.

“Merrunz has most certainly helped us out.” M’Aiq said, sipping his flin delicately. “The first time that foolish kitten has done something useful, I might say.”

This merits explanation. The Daedra Lord you call Mehrunes Dagon may have appeared blistering like a red-hot hurricane in the Imperial City with the intent of destroying the world, but in our mythology Merrunz is but young: like a kitten, tearing reflexively at wool. So do we explain his, uh, tendencies. He is a destructive child with the power to level Nirn, which I have never considered a good combination of traits.

“Useful? You didn’t see the three cultists that jumped me on the way here. Their lord may have run to Oblivion with his tail between his legs, but these people are not as good at giving up their dreams as they are their possessions. If you had not taught me to walk on water, you would be explaining your intriguing theology to an empty chair.”

M’Aiq’s Cyrodiilic is not so good. We were talking back and forth in Ta’agra: in this area, in this city, in this bar, it was nothing special. It also helped keep secrets.

“That is as may be, J’Dar, but it is partly your fault for carrying no real weapon. Those fancy claws of yours are not good for parrying swords, are they? I told you that strapping yourself up like some wild animal would cause you trouble, in the end.” M’Aiq is not a fan of disturbing the natural order of things. When I first had them fitted, he bought me a nail file.

“I did have knives as well, M’Aiq.”

“Yes, but you insist on throwing those away. If you were not so keen on throwing away your weapons, you would only need one.” He grinned, showing a row of battered yellow teeth.

“Enough of this, my friend.” I laughed. We had this discussion almost every time we met. “How do we progress?”

“Your information has helped, fortunately. I am just waiting for one more piece of the puzzle: she will be here soon, and then I can show you the completed picture.”

I downed my flin in one go, partly to disguise my shock. “You mean…?”

“Yes,” M’Aiq grinned again, and if he smiled much wider he could probably have swallowed his flin whole, bottle and all, “your old friend is here to see you, and to update me on the situation at home.”

As I said this, ‘she’, Si’Valit, walked into the bar, axe on her back.

Si’Valit was, simply, not an ordinary Khajiit. The axe, I have already mentioned - she spent a year in Solstheim, where the Nords cling to the far edge of Nirn - but when you also note that her name, chosen herself, literally translates as ‘to be adult’, it is not hard to realise that she was not quite Clan Mother Ahnassi. She was not a woman to cross, at any rate, and this was why we liked her so much.

“Si’, my girl!” I smiled. “It has been too long.”

“Not long enough, more like.” She growled as she sat down. I liked to think she was joking.

“Charming as always, I see. You clearly picked up a lot in Skyrim, and not just with that small house you’re carrying.”

“Enough.” M’Aiq managed to diffuse the tension that was building with a word. We generally listened to him. “Si’, what is the stance on our cause at home?”

“It’s complicated, and there‘s no real answer.” She scratched her ear. “The Mane is, I hear, coming around to the idea of reasserting his authority: you know he always thought the Septims were some sort of gods, but he has no fear of the Elder Council. He is in favour of the principle, but he is bound.

“The northern chieftains, of course, still agree with us. Some of them were forced to leave when that blasted Count made his move, and their hackles are still raised. However, the pampered kitties down in the south-”

“Hey!” I interjected. “You do remember where I’m from, yes?”

“That’s why I said it, J’Dar: you’re the right sort, but still just the exception that proves the rule. As I was saying, they are not keen on any sort of conflict, political or military. And, of course, they control the Riddle’Thar during Masser…”

Again, I suppose I should explain. It will make no sense to you, but I am bound to try. The Mane is de facto ruler of Elsweyr, but this is because he maintains the Riddle’Thar: the division of power between our northern desert tribes and the city-states of the south. Which side is in power on a given day depends on the phases of the moons, like the rest of our lives. It is difficult, therefore, for one side to act over any period without the other’s consent - a balance of power, as it were.

“In other words, nothing has changed.” M’Aiq grimaced. “I expected as such. The city-cats care about nothing but their skooma.”

“What is this, Pick on J’Dar Day? You know I have no problems with my skooma… when you do the maths, you’ll actually find that very few of us do. It's really a condition of men and mer. If you two didn’t come from a barren desert where all that grows is your fur, you too would love the fruit of the moon.”

“We know you are an exception, J’Dar,” M’Aiq, to his credit, adopted a placatory tone, “your work testifies to that. But does it not strike you as odd that, in our entire group, you are the only southerner to take up arms for Leyawiin’s freedom?”

“This, my friend, may have something to do with Leyawiin being in the north.”

“See!” Si’Valit cut in. “Typical southerner talk. All fine words and wit, but when it comes to defending our ancient homelands-”

With that, the claws came out. Si’ has never used her claws in her life: she is fast, no doubt, but to unhook a two-handed battleaxe from one’s back is not as quick, or as satisfying, as a quick and quiet flick of one’s claws against the table. Steel cuts wood: the scratch marks around my empty bottle made it clear that I was not pleased, to put it lightly. In Khajiiti parlance, this is the equivalent of ‘three strikes and you‘re out’.

“Enough!” M’Aiq was also not pleased. “The two of you are acting like kittens. Si’: there is a difference between a skooma fiend and a cat who fights for the right cause, even if they are of the same litter. J’Dar: put those ridiculous things away before you cut yourself. Do not be so rash again, if you value your pride.

“Now, Si’, leave us. J’Dar and I must talk secrets.”

With bad grace, Si’ mumbled an apology. I reciprocated, and thus allowed her to get up and leave the table. She was always full of fire, that girl. She meant well, I suppose, but too much time with nothing but Nords for company had changed her.

M’Aiq leant across the table. “I mean that, J’Dar. You are still young, and you must control your temper. It is your one flaw.” He winked. “Excluding your insistence on not using real weapons, the fact that you are from the south, and the skooma.”

I grinned. “Who told you this? A wereshark?”

“Wereboar, actually, but this is neither here nor there. I now know where you should go.”

“I am listening, my old friend.”

“We need increased political clout if we are to convince the Empire to return Leyawiin to its rightful Khajiiti owners. I would rather avoid more bloodshed than is necessary.’ I nodded. Peaceful solutions were generally better, even if it was just to save me the effort of cleaning my claws afterwards. “I have a list here. On this list are all the Khajiit I am aware of who hold influential positions in the Cyrodiilic guilds. Your job is to persuade them to openly - or in some cases, as openly as they can - back our cause. It should be a simple job, in truth.”

“To persuade Imperialised strangers to support an idea they have never heard of?” I shook my head. “I bet most of them couldn’t even pronounce ‘Renrijra Krin’.”

“Maybe, but they need not know our name to agree with our arguments, hmm? Besides, stranger things have happened. I have seen dragons!”

I laughed, and ordered another flin.

This post has been edited by Marcel Rhodes: Jan 21 2008, 05:31 PM