The Big "Commentasaurus"-thread, For those who want to comment on multiple stories at the same time! Options

[minque]

THIS thread is meant to give us an option to comment on several stories and authors in one single post! Maybe we read two or three stories and then we'd like to give some overall comment on all of them instead of posting in each one of the story-threads!

Mark this: It's optional! You can choose whether you like to post here or in the original thread!!!!

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My first general comment will be this:

There's a lot of good work in the fanfic-section at the time being, it might be because of the latest contest, but nevertheless it's a sheer joy to visit the section and read all the nice stories. You really are a bunch of goos serious writers and I hope you find it as fun to write as I find it to read...

Keep up the good work, all of you!

[Alexander]

I've got a general tip, something I noticed in some of the stories I read for the competition.

Be careful when using common every day expressions in your story. Many of the expressions we use are not logical at all to be in a world such as Nirn.

Some examples;
"bullmanure" (well the term was slightly different but I'm sure you catch my drift )
I don't believe I've once seen or heard about bulls being in Tamriel or anywhere else in Nirn.

"Not the ritz" when speaking about lavish accommodations. I'm sure the person was referring to a fancy hotel chain, but I don't believe a hotel like the Ritz-carlton orso could be found in Tamriel

etc.

[paragenic]

I've got a general tip, something I noticed in some of the stories I read for the competition.

Be careful when using common every day expressions in your story. Many of the expressions we use are not logical at all to be in a world such as Nirn.

Some examples;
"bullmanure" (well the term was slightly different but I'm sure you catch my drift )
I don't believe I've once seen or heard about bulls being in Tamriel or anywhere else in Nirn.

"Not the ritz" when speaking about lavish accommodations. I'm sure the person was referring to a fancy hotel chain, but I don't believe a hotel like the Ritz-carlton orso could be found in Tamriel

etc.

Okay this is actually a very difficult topic. There are clear-cut cultural references of an obvious kind that are simply out of place, like saying "Maervin's plans for the new castle in Chorrol would put the Taj Mahal to shame" and there are anachronisms that are discontinuous with TES, like saying "Kud-Ei sighed as she threw the rag into the sink 'Varon Vamori!' she shouted. 'Did you use all the hot water again?'" and there are things that are just wrong, like referring to "Tuesday" or "November".

But we know very little of the lingo of this world. Certainly I can't imagine that with all the races, all the classes, all the factions, the nobility, the daedra worshippers, the academia, the legion, the merchants, the pirates, the young, the old, the rich, the poor, the beggars... I would expect in such a setting the language to be bursting with colourful phrases. Instead it seems like everyone says "by the nine!". This is ridiculous!

In Daggerfall you had streetwise, etiquette, orcish, harpy, and mercantile, and in general there was a lot more text. In Oblivion all that is left is "speechcraft" and "mercantile". This limits the authors of any fan-fiction (and I would say that all the words in the fan fiction competition would easily be more than the number of words used in the actual game) in their attempts to produce color.

I am not one of the judges of the competition, but I am conscious of the barren lexicon of colorful in-game expressions from which the authors have to paint a picture for us of any of the many in-game factions or social groups. And I would certainly advocate a leniency and freedom for the authors to create color for us to compensate for the lack thereof in the game.

[Burnt Sierra]

Okay this is actually a very difficult topic. There are clear-cut cultural references of an obvious kind that are simply out of place, like saying "Maervin's plans for the new castle in Chorrol would put the Taj Mahal to shame" and there are anachronisms that are discontinuous with TES, like saying "Kud-Ei sighed as she threw the rag into the sink 'Varon Vamori!' she shouted. 'Did you use all the hot water again?'" and there are things that are just wrong, like referring to "Tuesday" or "November".

But we know very little of the lingo of this world. Certainly I can't imagine that with all the races, all the classes, all the factions, the nobility, the daedra worshippers, the academia, the legion, the merchants, the pirates, the young, the old, the rich, the poor, the beggars... I would expect in such a setting the language to be bursting with colourful phrases. Instead it seems like everyone says "by the nine!". This is ridiculous!

In Daggerfall you had streetwise, etiquette, orcish, harpy, and mercantile, and in general there was a lot more text. In Oblivion all that is left is "speechcraft" and "mercantile". This limits the authors of any fan-fiction (and I would say that all the words in the fan fiction competition would easily be more than the number of words used in the actual game) in their attempts to produce color.

I am not one of the judges of the competition, but I am conscious of the barren lexicon of colorful in-game expressions from which the authors have to paint a picture for us of any of the many in-game factions or social groups. And I would certainly advocate a leniency and freedom for the authors to create color for us to compensate for the lack thereof in the game.

Interesting points there. However for me all of those can be answered with one word. Consistency. In fiction of any kind, but especially those which require world building, you have to remain consistent to the world and to the rest of your story. We've all read stories where the charaters are talking like courtier's one minute, and the next like L.A. valley girls.
"My lady, I cannot lie to you any more." She curtsied in front of me, the long silk evening gown getting caught under her feet. She'd dressed early, the banquet wasn't till tonight. "It was I who spoke to the Count in the gardens."
"I am like, totally tripping out here man." I pulled my Ray Bans off angrily, and reached for the bottle of Jacks on the table, filling a glass almost to the top before adding a little splash of Coca Cola ™, "I don't get you girlfriend, you used to be solid!"

Jokey example, but you get my point. We haven't set rules for this, but the way I'm judging is to look for consistency. If something jumps out at me as a glaring inconsistency, it's a bad thing. It pulls me out of the flow of the story and whatever momentum has been built up is lost, and after a prolongued bout of eye rolling, when I get back to the story it's hard to capture the emotional state I had been in. From that point of view alone it gets the thumbs down. It purely depends on how the language fits with the rest of what's written.