A Bosmer's Journal, An "Interim" Side Story Options

[bbqplatypus]

Author's Note, Five Years Later:

This pathetic attempt at an epistolary short story is in fact a companion piece to a larger story I wrote called "The Interim." You might recall - or you might not, depending on how you stumbled upon this page - that the former story now contains a warning written above it helpfully informing the reader that it is literally a giant monumental pyramid carved out of solid bird poop and as such should not be read by anyone. (By "literally," I mean "figuratively," though I did have to double-check to make sure). This story is somehow even worse. And at any rate, it doesn't make any sense unless you've read the original story to which it is a companion - which, again, you shouldn't because it sucks.

And no, you shouldn't take this as an invitation to keep reading under the assumption that this story is bad in an amusing way. It isn't. It's just pants. I'm leaving it up, but consider yourself relieved of your obligation to read it.






5 Mid Year, 3E 431

Hello, dear friend. My name is Gaeleg. I’m a seeker of thrills and riches, and I’ve decided to keep a journal of my adventures and travels. Recently I made the decision to enter the seedy criminal underworld of Vvardenfell.

Today, my friend Olfrim finally showed me to his friend Golam Berendal. He’s a real bigshot in the organization, he says. I was very excited, because I wanted excitement and I desperately needed the money – especially after the Thieves Guild turned me down. Lousy good-for-nothing dimwits can’t even recognize talent when it’s right in front of them!

But I digress.

Berendal was a really tough specimen of a mer who had a whole bunch of battle scars – even on his face. He asked me all sorts of questions about my background, skills, and loyalty. I answered them all (though I maybe exaggerated a little about how good I was at picking a lock). And he gave me a job! He says he’ll tell me what it is tomorrow. I hope it’s something exciting.

6 Mid Year

As of today, I am a business associate of the Camonna Tong. I’m not a member, but I get to work with them and receive pay for working with them. Not bad, for an outlander like me. Hopefully, they’ll see what a productive and loyal employee I am and make me one of their own.

I’m being sent to help guard and maintain a cave somewhere off the coast of Gnisis. I know, I was kind of puzzled by the assignment myself, but I’m sure there’ll be plenty of opportunities for advancement.

When I asked the boss why he sent me and not someone stronger, he just said “You’re a Bosmer. You live in trees and eat raw coneys for breakfast. Use a bow.”

I don’t really know how to use a bow – I’ve never even held one before. But I didn’t want to make the boss mad, so I didn’t say anything.

Besides, I’ll have plenty of time to learn when I’m staying in the cave.

I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to live in a cave.

8 Mid Year

I finally got to the cave today. It was a lot darker in there than I thought it would be.

I spent most of the day learning the ropes from the experienced smugglers who were already there. Loading, unloading, when to empty the bucket – those were just some of the things I had to learn.

They also introduced themselves to me. One of them was a big, tough Imperial named Cidus Calleius. He says he’s the one in charge when Golam isn’t around, and I believe him. He told me not to get in anybody’s way. He’s strong, but a bit clumsy. I think it’s because he’s so big. For some reason, his eyes look kinda milky.

There was also this tall, burly Nord by the name of Hulgar. He was also very big. He didn’t talk much, but he looked at me kinda funny. He kinda scares me a bit. I’m sure I’ll get used to him, though.

Then there was the big fat bald Breton with the goatee. His name is Astien. I could tell everyone else liked him. He made a lot of jokes – mostly about my height and girlish figure. I took it all in stride, though. I’m sure he was just teasing.

I still don’t understand everything – but I’m sure I will eventually, with all these career criminals living in the cave. I truly feel safe and secure with such competent, level-headed professionals around to help and protect me.

9 Mid Year

Apparently, I’m supposed to look after the slaves. I didn’t know we had slaves in here. I’m not sure if I like the idea.

But I’m getting paid to do it, so I’m doing it. Besides, a Khajit stole my money once.

10 Mid Year

A few of the slaves are getting released today, apparently. Cidus says it’s because deliveries are starting. The shipment got here just before I arrived, and now it’s being shipped out by the slaves.

I don’t really understand the idea of having slaves go back and forth from cave to delivery. Why not have the people escorting them do it? Oh, well. I’m not the guy in charge.

Still, I wonder how they’re able to get the slaves back into the caves without anybody noticing. I imagine it’s the same way they get them into the cave in the first place. Still, there’s something about it that doesn’t make sense. Why make them go back and forth?

I asked Hulgar about it. He kicked me in the groin and told me to shut up.

11 Mid Year

I don’t think the slaves are getting fed much. I brought this up with Cidus, but he told me to shut up about it. He had a bunch of empty bottles of skooma around him. I didn’t know we were allowed to touch the merchandise.

I wonder why he doesn’t want to feed them…

13 Mid Year

Astien stuffed a dead slaughterfish down my pants while I was sleeping. They all thought it was hysterical when I ended up…well, you know. Everyone laughed – even Hulgar.

By the way, I need to remember to get a new pair of trousers when this assignment is over and I get back to town.

16 Mid Year

Another day guarding the slaves. I’m already starting to get sick of it, dear friend. It’s so unrewarding – the look on those beastfolk’s faces just made me so sad those first couple days. They don’t seem any happier when they’re leaving, either. In fact, they actually look scared for some reason. I’m starting to get used to it, though.

This isn’t very exciting at all. Not at all what I was expecting.

This is so boring.

Not to worry, though. I’m sure this’ll be a short assignment.

17 Mid Year

The last of the first shipment got emptied out and shipped this morning. The slaves are all gone now and so are the sugar and skooma. I thought the job was over, but Cidus says there’s another, larger shipment coming in tomorrow.

Speaking of Cidus, he’s been a lot crabbier than usual today. Astien made some remark about his skooma habit and how it was cutting into profits, so he belted him in the jaw. Hulgar had to break up the fight to make sure he didn’t end up killing Astien, as I’m sure he would have. I’ve never seen anyone punch so hard. Now he’s shut himself off in the bunk area and refused to let anyone talk to him. He says my voice in particular gives him a terrible headache.

I’m starting to think that maybe Cidus has a bit of a problem.

18 Mid Year

The new shipment started coming in today. They came in on large rowboats – probably from a larger vessel. We spent the day bringing the shipment in case by case. Everybody helped – even me. My back still hurts a little.

After the goods, they brought the slaves in. Oddly, these were different slaves than the ones who made the deliveries before. They must use some kind of rotation system.

Cidus seemed to be in a better mood today, though he still locked himself up in the sleeping quarters once the shipments were finished.

With this new shipment, I’m getting a sinking feeling that I might be stuck in here for a very long time. And I don’t want to spend much longer here. It’s dark, cold, and boring in here. I think I’ll ask Cidus about it tomorrow. If he ever comes out, that is.

19 Mid Year

I asked Cidus when this would be over and I could get to the exciting stuff. He didn’t answer me so I kept asking. Then finally he said he didn’t know. I didn’t believe him – he’s the leader, he should know. So I kept asking until he gave me a straight answer. He said it would be about two weeks.

He sounded really frustrated and angry when he said it, though.

No matter. I’m satisfied.

This post has been edited by bbqplatypus: May 29 2013, 03:40 AM

[Olen]

An intersting story, certainly the bosmer wasn't cut out for crime. He was so nieve you have to feel a bit sorry for him.

Good stuff.