Franz and Herschel got to Vvardenfel (Comedy), Just a bit of fun Options

[Colonel Mustard]

Franz and Herschel go to Vvardenfel

Each event is preceded by prophecy. Yet without the hero, there is no event.”

-Some philosopher. Don't look at me, I'm never any good with names!


The hold was dark, lit only by a candle, held in a lantern, around which three figures were huddled. One of them was dozing, but the other two were awake.

“This is worrying,” Herschel said. “We're on a ship. What are we doing on a ship?”

“Most likely doing a Nerevarine story,” Franz said. “Seeing as we're on a ship and all.”

“Oh bloody hell,” Herschel murmured. “Another one. You would've thought people have had enough of them by now.”

“Obviously not,” Franz said. “I mean, there is a lot of good Nerevarine stuff knocking around, in all fairness.”

“I know, but its still a bit much,” Herschel said. “And Bean does have Iocus Magna, and Grey Knight on the go-which you should go read, as soon as you've read these. Go on, you know you want to.”

“Herschel, that just sounded wrong,” Franz said.

“What, the shameless plugging or the 'you know you want to?'”

“Both.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Franz, let's not go there. We all know it's going to end up with us trying to murder eachother. ”

Franz sighed and slumped backwards against a crate.

“You're right,” he said. “It always does. So, any weird dreams lately?”

“Nothing for me,” Herschel replied. “Not yet, at least.”

“So Azura has yet to reveal which one of us will be the Nerevarine,” Franz said, adopting a mysterious sounding sounding voice. “A shtartling development indeed.”

“What was with the Sean Connery accent just then?” Herschel asked.

“Oh, that? Just felt like speaking in a Sean Connery accent,” Franz replied.

“Fair enough.”

Franz continued to slump against his crate, and sucked his teeth, before he noticed the third person in the hold stir into wakefulness.

“Morning Jiub,” he said amiably. The dark elf gave him a groggy look, before wiping his eyes and returning the greeting.

“I heard one of the guards say we've reached Morrowind,” he said. “I'm sure they'll let us go.”

“How?” Herschel asked. “You were asleep.”

“I'm trying to stick to the damn script,” Jiub snapped. “Unless you can be so good to do the same, then I'll take my business elsewhere.”

“Where?”

“I work part time as that annoying Dark Elf who's in the cell in Oblivion,” Jiub said.

“You do?” Franz said. “Then I must say you've been a great inspiration to me.”

“Why, thank you very much,” Jiub replied then he glanced around the door. “Quiet, here comes the guard.”

Right on cue, a guard appeared at the doorway.

“You two are to come with me,” he announced. “Don't try anything.”

“Oh yeah, because we can take on a ship full of armed guards with just our bare hands,” Herschel muttered sarcastically. “Especially seeing as the hand to hand system is utterly rubbish on Morrowind.”

“None of that lip you,” the guard said. “Follow me.”

So, getting up from their places in the hold, Franz and Herschel followed the guard.

“I wish he would walk faster,” Franz muttered to Herschel. “When can we sprint?”

After an agonisingly slow walk, Franz and Herschel finally reached the upper deck, where they were greeted by a redguard.

“Head down to the Census and Excise office,” he said. “Follow the guard.”

And so, Franz and Herschel did as they were told, and followed the guard.

“You've finally arrived,” the guard said, before being interrupted by Franz asking, “You were expecting us?”

“Yes we were,” the guard replied icily. “However, our records don't show from where. If you will follow me, we will get the necessary paperwork filled out.”

So, now sprinting, Franz and Herschel made their way into the office, to be greeted by an elderly Breton.

“So you've arrived,” he said. “Please fill out these papers, before you are given your release fee.”

Franz and Herschel did as asked, before taking the papers, and leaving the room. Turning the corner, they stumbled across a room full of rather valuable items.

“Alright,” Franz said. “The loot room. Dibs on the dagger.”

“Oh come on,” Herschel said. “I'm the combat class, I should get it.”

“So I suppose I'll have to be helpless until I get a bow then?” Franz replied. “You want that? You want me to die out there?”

“Oh stop being so melodramatic,” Herschel said. “I'm keeping the bloody dagger.”

With that, he pocketed it, flashing Franz a smirk. Franz just huffed and grabbed a lockpick lying on the table.

“And I suppose I'll just have to hope I can gouge somebody's eyes out with this,” he said bitterly.

“Oh stop being difficult,” Herschel snapped.

After a little more rooting around (read; stealing everything not nailed down), Franz and Herschel headed to the second building, stopping off to hide their loot in a barrel and discovering a ring inside it, which Franz took, giving Herschel a smug look in the process.

Inside, a man wearing in heavy armour and a rather bored look, was waiting for them.

“I am Sellus Gravius,” he announced. “And I am here to welcome you to Morowind. My background is not important. I will give you your release fees, but first I must tell you about your duties.”

“What's your life story then?” Herschel asked.

“Stop being difficult Herschel,” Franz snapped. “So what's the work you want us to do?”

Sellus Gravius handed them a package.

“I want you to take these to Caius Cosades,” he said. “I do not know what is in the package, but if you attempt to open it you will be punished. His house in Balmora-you can find it by asking Bacola Closcius at the South Wall Cornerclub.”

He handed them a handful of gold coins, the ushered them out of the office.

“What a supremely boring man,” Herschel said. “I mean, I know the NPCs in these stories will stick to the game script to a certain extent, but, I mean, come one.”

“He's just a guard,” Franz said. “I bet he does that sort of thing all the time.”

“Yeah, but it's still a bit rubbish,” Herschel said. “I mean, could you have a more boring or two dimensional character about.”

“Probably,” Franz said. “Still, let's go sell this stuff we picked up.”

And so, with a few coins in their pockets and nothing but a dagger for protection, Franz and Herschel headed towards Arille's tradehouse, ready to face the big, mean world of Vvardenfel.

It was in for one hell of a surprise.

This post has been edited by The Bean: Dec 18 2008, 09:05 PM

[minque]

hehehe! brilliant! Wunderschön