Cyrodiil Options

[Alexander]

Ok, so for the unavoidable introduction babble, as most of you know I was rather pleased with Morrowind. I thought it was far better then the dribble I wrote prior to that, and most people seemed to agree with me. After I finished Morrowind I already had an idea for a sequel, I actually wrote the very first chapter of said sequel while I was posting up parts of Morrowind. Unfortunately though, after that first chapter I kind of lost interest. I didn’t think the ideas I had back then were enough to weave an entire story together, and I was probably right.

But as these things have a habit of developing themselves, over the past months I kept thinking back to the sequel, and kept adding ideas to the pile I already had. Now it’s done. I once again enjoyed writing this, and I hope you’ll have similar fun reading it.

As I’ve explained in the past, I’m not very good at making up things like titles, Akatosh knows it took me about as long to come up with the various titles of the chapters as it did to write the entire thing, so I’ve named the story “Cyrodiil” (catchy wot? )

Before I end my babbling and get on with posting the story, I once again would like to thank Treydog for agreeing to help with my story as editor, and for fixing the many, many, many grammatical and spelling errors, and placing every comma, semicolon and whatchamacallit in the correct place. And thanks to everyone who ever read Morrowind, and commented. I really enjoy the comments.


Now, while you don’t have to have read Morrowind, I believe in order to get the most out of Cyrodiil, it would be recommended.


So, enough babbling and on to Cyrodiil.

[Olen]

I think badda said it.

But to elaborate and point out the parts I thought had most room for improvement (you did ask for comments)...

I think you used the multiple PoVs well, its not a style I normally find works that well but you pulled it off nicely and helped to show the full complexity of the plot. The plot was well thought out and well linked though perhaps could have been better explored in a longer story (and its not often I say that), you built a very good feeling of impending chaos and mystery and I thought paid it off slightly too soon. I liked the political bit very much and its mainly this which i thought would have benefited from expansion. But saying that the fast pace was also most pleasing.

As far as the writing goes it was fine. I can't think whose style it reminds me of but it does remind me of someone. I think the biggest area for improvement would be in the show vs tell region, there were times that I found you told the reader things which might have been better shown though the actions and interactions of the characters. Of course this is a matter of balance and there certainly are times when the speed and simplicity of telling far outweigh the disadvantages, but generally you might consider showing more, at least in my opinion. Having said that though there were no particular infodumps which was a very good thing. I'd say this comment is particularly applicable to the first two parts where, because you were still building the atmosphere and feel, some of the more narrated parts seemed detached and little offputting.

The prose was very readable though, especially once I was into the story (how long was it? that I don't know shows how easy it was to sit and enjoy). I'm not sure I could isolate any one aspect which made it this way, more just the general style and pace (for it was well paced, never dragging its heels but not brushing by things either).

Somewhat linked to my first point I think you paid off all the plots a little too early and that the protagonist's side perhaps won a little to easily. I very much enjoyed the middle with the political manoeuvrings and several plotlines still only slightly linked and would have happily read more of it. There was nothing wrong with doing this but I think you could have given your ending more momentum with a bit more before it. This is a matter of taste of course.

And on matters of taste something which wasn't to mine. Mannimarco not being himself was just a bit confusing, in all honesty I didn't see what that twist added, but perhaps that's just me.

That's all the criticism I have for it really, and a lot is just my own feelings. It was very enjoyable and I look forward to your next piece. Thanks.

I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I'd say I did

[Alexander]

Thanks a lot for the comments

And on matters of taste something which wasn't to mine. Mannimarco not being himself was just a bit confusing, in all honesty I didn't see what that twist added, but perhaps that's just me.

As to this I guess my reasoning was thus;

first off I wanted to create him as far more powerful then he was shown in Oblivion. Reading up on him on the Library and hearing about him as he was pictured in previous games, I knew I had to make him a lot more powerful, which I guess I pulled off.

But then as I was into that storyline, I was wondering what the best way was to finish it, what's the best way for someone to defeat him etc. I already had the major showdown at Bruma, I thought it wouldn't work as well if Relien would defeat the snow demon, and then go on to the "next big fight" in Mannimarco. I guess I've always though one major showdown like that works, but more then one only work if there's suffient amount of time between the two, time which I didn't really have as I didn't want it to drag on longer, and I didn't really have anything else in mind that I could let happen to build up that second showdown.

So I figured, why not have the Mannimarco storyline turn out to be merely a sideline to the real showdown. It would help the Akavirii in creating a diversion, would save Relien from a second big showdown, would give me a way to keep from killing Ocato and those assorted mages I wanted to save etc.

So I guess that's basically what I considered and the reasons I made it the way it was