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Olen
post Oct 11 2009, 09:26 PM
Post #1


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From: most places



Some of you probably remember my last piece, Yesterday's Shadow and that it had a rather unsatisfying ending. I spent the summer rectifying this and now have a sizeable sequel/ completion to it which is itself now finished. It would probably be better to read Yesterday's Shadow before this as it would make more sense, however you should get by without it. If anyone wants I'll put a synopsis here, though Yesterday's Shadow isn't very long so you could just read it here (enough plugs yet?) tongue.gif

Anyway without further ado:



Burning Today


Prologue

Dervas wore boots while he worked. Shoes didn't last long in the decaying mixture of blood, vomit, drink and drugs which floored The Black Guar. The dark man had finally passed out and for the first time Dervas dared look at him. A worn man with a broken soul. Who are you? The Black Guar didn't get passing trade – the mixture of pushers, heavies and racketeers who made up most of his patronage didn't appreciate strangers. In the first hour the man, who now lay face down on the table, had knocked two out cold and broken another's arm. They left him alone after that and he them. Dervas wiped the remains of a line of sugar off the bar and nodded to the bouncer who went to move the man to his room.

Someone knocked at the door. Dervas ignored it. They knocked again, for longer this time. He cursed and went to tell whoever it was where to go. It was late an he didn't need any more trade. He pushed open the door, a curse dancing on his tongue. A sack crashed to the ground, gold clinked within. A Breton in black clothes stood in the doorway.

“What's his tab?” There was no need to ask whose.

“Sixty.”

The Breton showed no surprise, and counted out the gold. “Listen,” his tone offered pain if Dervas didn't, “You keep giving that guy drinks, drugs, whores, whatever he asks for okay? For him happy hour doesn't end, tabs never have to be paid. Push as much as you can into him. Don't worry - I'll be round a couple of nights a week to pay you. That sack,” he kicked disdainfully at the one he'd just dropped, “Contains a thousand drakes, payment enough I'd say. If he asks don't tell him, just give him more drink. Understand?”

Dervas nodded, his mouth was dry.

The man disappeared into the night.

Dervas walked back into the bar. He looked towards the dark man's room. Who are you? he thought again, And what have I gotten into?


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Look behind you and see an ever decreasing number of ghosts. Currently about 15.
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Olen
post Jan 30 2010, 08:09 PM
Post #2


Mouth
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Joined: 1-November 07
From: most places



17. False Light

Pandemonium ruled. People ran, or staggered, depending on their level of inebriation, along the harbour-side, all in different directions, like a stirred anthill. At the south end a warehouse burned, the mushroom like dry tinder. The stagnant pools of salt water which covered the ramshackle quay reflected it like a hundred tiny fires. Some people tried to put out the burning building but most were more concerned with batting out the sparks which landed on their own houses or boats. I cast about the darkness for a moment, Golen had already vanished. Then I hurried towards the fire.

Someone emerged from the crowd, "Take this bucket," he sounded desperate.

"Stick it," I said and ran on. I tried to ease the tension in me but couldn't. Any moment, something kept saying. Any moment another fire would erupt, or a flash of light would crush a bunch of the scurrying ants. Nearer the blaze the scene was stranger, the frolicking flames painted the sweating faces a ghastly yellow. Soot and brimstone fumes rose from the burning goods. Momentarily I was reminded of the tavern in Firewatch, but the comparison didn't hold. These were more akin to the fires of hell.

Ships nearby were attempting to cast off, though many were becoming stuck on the harbour bottom at the low tide. A couple already burned, their sailors giving up the fight and leaping from the sides into the inky waters. I cast about, looking for anything wrong. What might she do next? Then I saw a figure, hunched, walking away from the spreading fire. It didn't move right, didn't seem to share the panic. I started after it.

In the false light it was hard to keep her in sight. People jostled and pushed, I punched and kicked, and vanished before there could be retaliation. The crowd boiled and swirled, eddies pushing me towards or away from my goal like fickle ocean currents. I forced my way through, and tried to divine where she was headed. It seemed like she was making for the harbour itself. I pushed a small group aside and the crowd thinned. I sprinted, a group of sailors worked on a boat in front of me. It looked like they were dumping their cargo to lighten the boat enough to get it out, while also trying to keep the sparks which fell like glittering rain from igniting the sailcloth and caulking. She was making straight for the captain and a couple of others who stood by the gangplank.

I realised what she was doing.

I cursed and sped up, the wet cobbles had a slick film of wet ash on them and twice I nearly fell. She was much closer. Then I felt something under my foot. With a senseless fascination I realised it was a broken creel as it slipped away. I crashed down onto the cold cobbles in a heap. My elbows hurt, I made them work just in time to see Renera, for I had no doubt it was her, reach the trio by the gang. She said something.

The captain made a motion which looked like go away.

There was a short heated discussion at the end of which the captain turned his back. I was up and running again. An instant later he started clawing at himself, my insides sank but I watched, then quite suddenly he appeared to turn inside out. There was no other way to describe it, one instant he was clawing at his throat and chest the next he was twisting, breaking and then falling to the ground, a mess of organs and blood. The other two took a step back. One held out his hands warding away Renera, the mate I assumed. Then he was nodding and they all got onto the ship.

I tore my gaze from the tatters of the captain and ran after them, but too late. Already they were casting off and, with remarkable speed, heading for the harbour mouth. It was narrow enough to be worth a shot, I put my head down and ran with everything I had. My feet skittered over the slick ground, I ignored what might happen if I stepped on another creel, or old fish, or any of a hundred things which lie around docks. Just as I ignored the burning cinders which fell and somehow seemed to find their way down my neck or through gaps in my armour. I glanced over to the dark water and saw the boat struggling to navigate round another which had become beached. One beyond fell over and broke up as if hit with a giant fist. I wandered what the sailors made of having a witch on board. Not all bad luck curse her.

I rounded the corner onto the breakwater, my feet slipping. I recovered my balance and ran, all I had to do was make the harbour mouth before them and I could be on the boat. Briefly it crossed my mind that these might be the final seconds of my life. I had no time for the thought though, just as I cast aside the idea of gaining some speed by dumping the skooma bottles: it was good stuff. To my left in the harbour a couple of other boats were sailing out. They should have delayed Renera but her boat pushed the lead one aside. I heard the crash and the swearing sailors. Only two hundred yards, but already I could see I'd need a miracle. The boat was faster, and closer. Perhaps if I hadn't already ran and walked so far... But I had, and I wasn't on good terms with the gods. The ship left the harbour, with me still running to reach the mouth.

I'd failed.

There was no point in stopping. I'd just run on and into the black waters. Lets them swallow me, enveloping like a lover's arms, smothering like a mother of mine's perfume. But self-preservation acted for me and I tried to stop. The film of rank seawater which covered the polished cobbles offered no resistance. I skidded trying just as desperately to stay up as I did to slow but it as too late. My foot felt the edge and then nothing. It is not easy swim in armour, impossible even. Drowning held a strange terror for me. The second ship was close behind the first. Very close. I fell with a shriek I didn't expect and braced for water.


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Look behind you and see an ever decreasing number of ghosts. Currently about 15.
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Posts in this topic
Olen   Burning Today   Oct 11 2009, 09:26 PM
treydog   Woo-hoo! This starts at a run and doesn't...   Oct 11 2009, 10:19 PM
Olen   Next bit and longer this time. It won't make ...   Oct 18 2009, 04:39 PM
treydog   Saying that I "enjoyed" reading the late...   Oct 20 2009, 05:26 PM
Olen   I admit I did lay it on a bit heavy in the last pa...   Oct 24 2009, 01:35 PM
treydog   Your descriptive power again places the reader rig...   Oct 25 2009, 03:10 PM
Olen   3. Finding the Scent The Watcher's Club scre...   Oct 30 2009, 10:33 AM
canis216   Well done. Real taut storytelling as ever.   Nov 1 2009, 10:34 PM
treydog   Woo-Hoo! Another excellent scene. Please con...   Nov 2 2009, 10:39 PM
Olen   Thanks for the comments. Without further ado: 4....   Nov 6 2009, 01:18 PM
RavenMind   I've just finished reading through this, and y...   Nov 11 2009, 02:38 AM
Olen   5. Last Visit Firemoth was dead by night. I slip...   Nov 11 2009, 04:54 PM
minque   Really interesting, just finished reading this one...   Nov 16 2009, 12:01 AM
Olen   Thanks for the comments. This part was hard to ed...   Nov 17 2009, 10:17 PM
minque   Story.Good.More It's an old nord proverb...   Nov 18 2009, 10:47 PM
Olen   7. Fresh Morning In the bottom of a dry gulch I ...   Nov 22 2009, 02:00 PM
Olen   8. Circles I found the track the farmer had desc...   Nov 27 2009, 05:38 PM
Olen   Appologies for the delay, RL has conspired to make...   Dec 8 2009, 11:50 AM
Olen   Next bit, as ever replies and criticisms are appri...   Dec 14 2009, 04:08 PM
Olen   11. Choice I sat bolt upright. Instantly awake....   Dec 19 2009, 02:44 PM
Syndelius Daerleth   LOVE the prologe very good! i havent read the ...   Dec 20 2009, 02:15 AM
canis216   Again, fabulous storytelling. You really get insid...   Dec 20 2009, 03:35 AM
Olen   Yes... My utter reliance on spellchecking shows it...   Jan 5 2010, 04:40 PM
Captain Hammer   Finally managed to get caught up on this one, Olen...   Jan 6 2010, 05:44 PM
minque   Uhh....jeez I like this one! A bit brutal but ...   Jan 8 2010, 07:14 PM
Olen   Cheers for the comments, it's appriciated. Ye...   Jan 12 2010, 01:07 PM
Olen   This was meant to be part of the previous part so ...   Jan 14 2010, 12:54 PM
Olen   15. Running In the end I just headed west for Al...   Jan 20 2010, 12:22 PM
Olen   16. The Fire of the Moment On my way to the taver...   Jan 25 2010, 03:53 PM
canis216   Ah, excellent work once again. I look forward to s...   Jan 26 2010, 04:10 AM
canis216   Wow! Intense!   Jan 30 2010, 09:32 PM
Olen   Cheers for the comments, there's still pleanty...   Feb 4 2010, 03:20 PM
Olen   The story changes direction somewhat now so if you...   Feb 9 2010, 07:43 PM
Olen   20. News in the South Outside the high sun beat ...   Feb 15 2010, 04:56 PM
Olen   21. Glittering Opportunity I rolled off the bed....   Feb 22 2010, 03:41 PM
Olen   22. Reasons and Excuses It was the small hours o...   Feb 28 2010, 11:55 AM
canis216   I really enjoy the grit and intensity of this stor...   Mar 3 2010, 01:35 AM
Olen   Thanks for the comment, this piece wasn't the ...   Mar 7 2010, 10:47 PM
Olen   Sorry for the late reply, the last few days have b...   Mar 15 2010, 10:46 PM
Winter Wolf   Awesome write. How typical that even after all pos...   Mar 16 2010, 06:37 AM
SubRosa   I started reading from the first post, and still h...   Mar 16 2010, 03:37 PM
Acadian   WooHoo! What's not to like? First person...   Mar 16 2010, 09:15 PM
mALX   I have to catch up still, but I got such a kick ou...   Mar 16 2010, 09:53 PM
Destri Melarg   As the others have said, I just started reading th...   Mar 18 2010, 04:55 AM
Olen   Woo lots of comments. Thanks for the kind words, ...   Mar 19 2010, 03:07 PM
Remko   I got to chapter 10 and I love it! The charact...   Mar 19 2010, 05:38 PM
haute ecole rider   Well. I'm all caught up now on this thread (ha...   Mar 19 2010, 07:46 PM
mALX   As for the pubs, I could swear you had been in som...   Mar 20 2010, 06:55 AM
SubRosa   I am still working my way through. I love the real...   Mar 21 2010, 10:55 AM
Olen   Hmm, missed that, but it's sorted now. Along ...   Mar 21 2010, 02:21 PM
Destri Melarg   Just passed chapter 11 now. Firen is an incredibl...   Mar 22 2010, 12:28 AM
SubRosa   I am up to Chapter 21 now. I am not sure if it is ...   Mar 22 2010, 08:23 PM
Olen   I've never read Heart of Darkness so that wasn...   Mar 24 2010, 01:34 AM
haute ecole rider   This is a hard chapter to write, I can see that . ...   Mar 24 2010, 04:35 AM
mALX   What Hauty said, and I'd like to add that your...   Mar 24 2010, 03:33 PM
Destri Melarg   Okay I’m all caught up. Impressions: First, th...   Mar 25 2010, 06:08 AM
Remko   I just finished the last chapter and all I can say...   Mar 25 2010, 04:25 PM
SubRosa   I am finally caught up. Whew! You certainly kn...   Mar 26 2010, 01:33 AM
Remko   True, we still don't really know what he is. I...   Mar 26 2010, 12:06 PM
Olen   Wow so many replies... No update today but I thoug...   Mar 26 2010, 05:06 PM
Winter Wolf   Remko (and SubRosa) - It is mentioned a few times...   Mar 30 2010, 05:33 PM
Destri Melarg   Remko (and SubRosa) - It is mentioned a few times...   Mar 26 2010, 05:47 PM
Olen   27. Bitter Dreams The slaughter finished I plodd...   Mar 29 2010, 02:20 PM
mALX   Really great detail, even right down to following ...   Mar 29 2010, 04:40 PM
haute ecole rider   Excellent overview of what comes after the sack, w...   Mar 29 2010, 04:45 PM
SubRosa   Grey-Tail the other Argonians certainly have passi...   Mar 29 2010, 04:49 PM
Remko   I thought it was a very clever - and logical - cha...   Mar 29 2010, 06:22 PM
Destri Melarg   Firen’s concern over the fate of the slaves and hi...   Mar 31 2010, 01:10 AM
Remko   Okun is a name from "Independance Day", ...   Mar 31 2010, 05:15 PM
Olen   Thanks for all the comments again, they're gre...   Apr 2 2010, 03:47 PM
Remko   aaarrgghhh.... MORE!   Apr 2 2010, 04:17 PM
Destri Melarg   Oh man, this is really starting to get good! ...   Apr 2 2010, 09:34 PM
mALX   Oh man, this is really starting to get good! ...   Apr 2 2010, 11:17 PM
SubRosa   Now we see the fallout of the raid, which Firen ha...   Apr 2 2010, 11:12 PM
haute ecole rider   Agreed that the swim at the end of the chapter was...   Apr 3 2010, 12:07 AM
canis216   Never realized Argonians can be such prudes! ...   Apr 3 2010, 05:01 AM
Winter Wolf   A masterful chapter. Lovely command of dialogue th...   Apr 3 2010, 07:07 AM
Olen   Thanks for the comments, oddly the last chapter wa...   Apr 6 2010, 04:28 PM
mALX   Huge amount of detail in this chapter, written nat...   Apr 6 2010, 07:22 PM
Destri Melarg   I agree, very powerful. I am really growing to ad...   Apr 6 2010, 08:58 PM
SubRosa   This one line stays with me the most, due to it po...   Apr 6 2010, 11:02 PM
Remko   Loved it, the sneaking part was exceptionally well...   Apr 7 2010, 02:40 PM
haute ecole rider   I"m still reading and enjoying this. This la...   Apr 7 2010, 06:22 PM
Olen   Thanks for the comments all, I appriciate them. I...   Apr 11 2010, 06:18 PM
SubRosa   Excellent description of the ford. You vividly cap...   Apr 11 2010, 07:21 PM
haute ecole rider   Awesome! The description of the river, the rem...   Apr 11 2010, 07:26 PM
mALX   The last paragraph is HUGE! Very powerful writ...   Apr 11 2010, 08:12 PM
Olen   Well seeing as the last piece was short as I wante...   Apr 13 2010, 05:49 PM
Destri Melarg   Chapter 30: I stand in full agreement with the oth...   Apr 13 2010, 11:12 PM
SubRosa   An exciting entry, made so by the palpable tension...   Apr 15 2010, 05:47 PM
Remko   Loved chapters 30 and 31 forreasons mentioned abov...   Apr 16 2010, 04:20 PM
mALX   Yes, more more!!! You always seem to...   Apr 16 2010, 07:16 PM
Olen   Thanks for the comments, I've taken a lot more...   Apr 17 2010, 08:34 PM
SubRosa   That was a very exciting battle! You showed th...   Apr 18 2010, 08:35 AM
mALX   mALX's comment does raise a question for me -...   Apr 18 2010, 09:18 AM
Destri Melarg   The battle sequence was excellent. I was hoping t...   Apr 19 2010, 01:16 AM
canis216   Powerful. I'm not sure what else I can say.   Apr 20 2010, 04:01 AM
haute ecole rider   Sorry for not posting sooner. I have read this tw...   Apr 20 2010, 02:45 PM
Olen   Thanks for the comments, so many have inspired me ...   Apr 22 2010, 04:52 PM
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