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Burning Today |
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Olen |
Oct 11 2009, 09:26 PM
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Mouth

Joined: 1-November 07
From: most places

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Some of you probably remember my last piece, Yesterday's Shadow and that it had a rather unsatisfying ending. I spent the summer rectifying this and now have a sizeable sequel/ completion to it which is itself now finished. It would probably be better to read Yesterday's Shadow before this as it would make more sense, however you should get by without it. If anyone wants I'll put a synopsis here, though Yesterday's Shadow isn't very long so you could just read it here (enough plugs yet?) 
Anyway without further ado:Burning Today PrologueDervas wore boots while he worked. Shoes didn't last long in the decaying mixture of blood, vomit, drink and drugs which floored The Black Guar. The dark man had finally passed out and for the first time Dervas dared look at him. A worn man with a broken soul. Who are you? The Black Guar didn't get passing trade – the mixture of pushers, heavies and racketeers who made up most of his patronage didn't appreciate strangers. In the first hour the man, who now lay face down on the table, had knocked two out cold and broken another's arm. They left him alone after that and he them. Dervas wiped the remains of a line of sugar off the bar and nodded to the bouncer who went to move the man to his room. Someone knocked at the door. Dervas ignored it. They knocked again, for longer this time. He cursed and went to tell whoever it was where to go. It was late an he didn't need any more trade. He pushed open the door, a curse dancing on his tongue. A sack crashed to the ground, gold clinked within. A Breton in black clothes stood in the doorway. “What's his tab?” There was no need to ask whose. “Sixty.” The Breton showed no surprise, and counted out the gold. “Listen,” his tone offered pain if Dervas didn't, “You keep giving that guy drinks, drugs, whores, whatever he asks for okay? For him happy hour doesn't end, tabs never have to be paid. Push as much as you can into him. Don't worry - I'll be round a couple of nights a week to pay you. That sack,” he kicked disdainfully at the one he'd just dropped, “Contains a thousand drakes, payment enough I'd say. If he asks don't tell him, just give him more drink. Understand?” Dervas nodded, his mouth was dry. The man disappeared into the night. Dervas walked back into the bar. He looked towards the dark man's room. Who are you? he thought again, And what have I gotten into?
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Look behind you and see an ever decreasing number of ghosts. Currently about 15.
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Replies
Olen |
Mar 7 2010, 10:47 PM
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Mouth

Joined: 1-November 07
From: most places

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Thanks for the comment, this piece wasn't the easiest to write or redraft but I've got it as good as I can I think. Enjoy.
23. A Spark on Tinder
We moved out southward at dusk the following day and travelled by night. The argonians had a highly organised network of stopping spots, mainly in trees and always by water. Each morning as we made camp one would go down to the shoreline and dive down. A few minutes later they would reappear bearing supplies from underwater caches. That way we travelled unburdened and fast. After the fifth day we were deep into the territory of the Dres, the saltrice paddies stretched endlessly broken only by the occasional netch ranch or patch of mire too boggy even for rice. Not that these were left fallow, in their search for profit the Dres had these planted up with marshmerrow. As dawn came there were no trees and the only dry ground held roads or houses, we stopped in a boggy hollow by a stream. Further down the course of the water a large white walled compound glowed red in the sun's first light.
Grey-tail joined me by the lip of our camp, "A plantation. It is time, I think, for us to begin causing the havoc we vowed to."
"What do you plan," I replied.
"We wait until the late afternoon when the handlers are at their most complacent and kill them here in the fields. Set our brothers free."
"How many do you hope to get to?"
"All will be freed, sixty or so would be my guess, there will be one handler for every seven or eight, and maybe the same number of guards. We shall kill them all."
I ignored his vehemence and spoke my mind, "You'll never manage."
"Why?" anger touched his voice.
"There's seven of us. So we could hit two slave forces, maybe three but that would be a risk and as soon as we do the alarm will go up. If they have any sense, and from the plantations I've seen up north they do, there will be more guards and retainers within the compound who will come running. A few slaves might escape, but most will be retaken and we'll have to disappear."
Grey-tail was silent for a time, "That is," he inclined his head, "How several raids have gone."
He was sensible enough, and a good with weapons, but he was a guerilla fighter none the less. "That is because you haven't had anyone with sufficient experience in planning these things." He glared at me, but said nothing. I knew I was walking a knife edge, but the plan he outlined would be a small success at best, but more likely a disaster. "I would propose something different. I suggest we attack the compound itself."
He looked at me aghast, "You said yourself there is only seven of us. Maybe with a force of twenty-five, but its years since an attack on a compound has gone well, I'm not sure its even been tried this far from the marsh. It would be suicide."
"It would cause exactly the panic you want among the Dres, and if what you say is true they will not expect it."
"What's this you're discussing?" said Hassde joining us. I scowled, barring possibly Hides, and only possibly, he seemed most against my presence. Against the impurity I put in the ranks. For its many flaws the fighter's guild had never had any of that. It was deeper than just race I suspected, he had been the most competent fighter they had, but I was fairly sure I could take him, and also thought he knew this.
"He is suggesting," said Grey-tail, "That we attack the compound rather than the handlers in the fields."
Hassde looked at me for a moment, "I didn't have you down as a fool," he said and paused, "A filthy human perhaps but a fool? No. I'll hear this plan, if you have one?"
I raised an eyebrow, "Well they won't be expecting it, that works in our favour. I don't have enough knowledge of the layout of the place but I'll bet that stream goes through the centre of the plantation, and more importantly through its walls, somehow. That would be an obvious way in. At night the guard will be at its thinnest, Hides is light on her feet, she can swim in, if it's possible, and kill any who might see the rest of you. Keel-ha and myself will scale a wall after he's shot a guard off. Then inside I'll be able to enter the guardhouse without rising too much suspicion, see what's what and report back, or open a back door. With the guards dealt with the handlers and retainers will be easy pickings and then freeing the slaves couldn't be easier." I was planning on the fly and it had some issues, but overall would work.
"And if the alarm is raised? Say someone gets seen, or a corpse is found, or Keel-ha misses? Then what?" replied Grey-tail.
Hassde raised a hand to stall him, "Then we jump into the stream and disappear into the night having struck a far greater blow than killing a few handlers." The plan was sound, and he saw that. But it surprised me that he accepted it from me, even if the escape route was likely one I couldn't use.
Grey-tail looked unconvinced then turned to face the dip where the others were making a sodden camp, "Hides, get yourself up here."
She put down the knife she'd been peeling some ashyam from the nearest stash with and walked up to the lip. The morning sun threw our shadows long before us. "Yes?" she said.
"You reckon you could sneak into that place?"
She studied it for a moment, "Now? No. But maybe at night; if the river runs though it and I can swim down it then definitely."
"Good," Grey-tail nodded, "Then I think this plan might work, now for some reconnaissance... Hides, find a way in," he turned back to the camp, "Keel-ha, Kieras come here, I want to know everything possible about that compound by sundown."
***
There was little for me to do during the day so I intermittently napped and ignored the frowns while I smoked. I had a brief attempt at conversation with Hassde but, except the current plan, there was little we didn't wholly disagree on. The other female, Tehei, didn't speak any cyrodiilic so it wasn't until the scouts got back in the late afternoon that I had anything to do except wait. Hides-in-shade was first back, she wandered into the camp and slumped as she dumped her knives and a belt of dart tubes.
"How'd it go?" I asked.
She scowled at me, "Couldn't be easier, the stream is dammed at the far side of the compound, they use the pool for soaking the grain. It's a stinking pit of slime though."
"You'll love it then."
She only glared. I couldn't care less, the stuck up bint had worn though my meagre patience in record time.
After a while she set a pot over our low fire of tree fungus which burnt with little smoke. She pulled out some fresh fungi, a small paper pack of dried herbs and a block of resinous black gunge wrapped in more paper. This all went into a small brass pot along with a handful of the ashes she raked from the fire. I filled my pipe while I watched, the pot was spouting white spume which she scraped off and flicked into the flames. I was on the dregs of the skooma when she drew the pot from the fire and poured an oily black liquid from it and into a vial. The smell was bitter.
"Poison," she said without looking up, "Would you like to try some? Its victims die quickly, but in considerable pain. One of few which works on argonians."
"What in hell do you need that for?"
"Killing guards. Your plan is functional, but you need me to silence guards. I don't like the risk of being captured, I wouldn't fancy it without some of this."
"You expect argonian guards?"
"Probably not, but conceivably handlers and you seem to be quite happy to send me into the fire while you stay nice and safe." I didn't push the point, I didn't like the real reason she needed such a potent poison. She continued, "Sure you don't want a bit. You seem to like poisoning yourself." She gestured to the pipe.
"Boil your tail," I killed the conversation.
A few minutes later the uncomfortable silence was broken by the return of Keel-ha and Kieras. The latter's spear had some blood on it.
"What's that?" asked Grey-tail rising from the bed of leaves he'd made himself.
Kieras said something in argonian, I caught the word for rat. Keel-ha confirmed, "We met a couple of rats."
"Got the meat?" I asked. Meat was the one thing ration stores always lacked, the climate was so wet that even salted meat would fester here.
Keel-ha and Grey-tail looked at me, Hides voiced the thoughts painted on their expressions, "You humans are foul. Rats are unfit as food."
I shrugged, "Better than nothing, and fine with enough spices... Anyway what can you tell me about the plantation?"
Kieras spoke first, his cyrodiilic was no better than my argonian and he used the latter. I'd known a bit of argonian before meeting them and picked up more in travelling south but even so I only got a vague idea of what he'd seen. From what I could make out the walls were not overlooked so they only had some idea of the layout inside. The manor, guardhouse and a store towered over the walls at the north so were definitely known, there was something important about the storehouse but other than the word hidden I couldn't follow. The slave quarters would almost certainly be on the other side of the river he said. Away from the nobles I guessed.
I turned to Keel-ha who stopped Kieras, "I think it might be better if I do this in Cyrodiilic," he said.
"Yes," said Kieras, murdering the word.
"From what I gleaned the storehouse will be the key to my getting in, and misdirecting the guards," I said.
"Indeed," said Grey-tail, "We'll have you speaking argonian yet." He laughed.
"It backs very close but not right against the outside wall so that section cannot be seen from inside the compound. It's the only place I would risk escalade-"
"What about the slave housing at the south?" I interrupted him.
"We don't know for sure it's there, and it puts you on the wrong side of the bridge they surely have." Keel-ha was a good scout I decided. He offered his analysis, but also gave the facts for mine.
"Good, what of the surrounding area?"
"No shelter anywhere, that's why we're using this pitiful hiding place and hoping no one happens to walk this way."
"The gate?"
"Narrow, only slightly wider than a laden cart and right by the guardhouse."
"Then the river will have to be you way out with the slaves, does the wall cross it?" the plan was forming and reforming in my mind. Fluxing between possibilities, being analysed refined. This was what I was best at, apart, perhaps, from winning drinking competitions.
"The river goes though an underwater culvert," answered Hides, "I swam down it, it's just under the level of the wall and maybe ten feet long. Downstream is dammed, and impassible I'd guess."
"Damn," that left the issue of how I was to get out, I couldn't know without seeing it, "How high are the walls?"
"Fairly standard, maybe twelve feet," Keel-ha frowned, guessing my thoughts, "The ground is boggy by the river..."
"Okay," I nodded. "Here's what we do..."
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Look behind you and see an ever decreasing number of ghosts. Currently about 15.
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Posts in this topic
Olen Burning Today Oct 11 2009, 09:26 PM treydog Woo-hoo! This starts at a run and doesn't... Oct 11 2009, 10:19 PM Olen Next bit and longer this time. It won't make ... Oct 18 2009, 04:39 PM treydog Saying that I "enjoyed" reading the late... Oct 20 2009, 05:26 PM Olen I admit I did lay it on a bit heavy in the last pa... Oct 24 2009, 01:35 PM treydog Your descriptive power again places the reader rig... Oct 25 2009, 03:10 PM Olen 3. Finding the Scent
The Watcher's Club scre... Oct 30 2009, 10:33 AM canis216 Well done. Real taut storytelling as ever. Nov 1 2009, 10:34 PM treydog Woo-Hoo! Another excellent scene. Please con... Nov 2 2009, 10:39 PM Olen Thanks for the comments. Without further ado:
4.... Nov 6 2009, 01:18 PM RavenMind I've just finished reading through this, and y... Nov 11 2009, 02:38 AM Olen 5. Last Visit
Firemoth was dead by night. I slip... Nov 11 2009, 04:54 PM minque Really interesting, just finished reading this one... Nov 16 2009, 12:01 AM Olen Thanks for the comments. This part was hard to ed... Nov 17 2009, 10:17 PM minque
Story.Good.More
It's an old nord proverb... Nov 18 2009, 10:47 PM Olen 7. Fresh Morning
In the bottom of a dry gulch I ... Nov 22 2009, 02:00 PM Olen 8. Circles
I found the track the farmer had desc... Nov 27 2009, 05:38 PM Olen Appologies for the delay, RL has conspired to make... Dec 8 2009, 11:50 AM Olen Next bit, as ever replies and criticisms are appri... Dec 14 2009, 04:08 PM Olen 11. Choice
I sat bolt upright. Instantly awake.... Dec 19 2009, 02:44 PM Syndelius Daerleth LOVE the prologe very good! i havent read the ... Dec 20 2009, 02:15 AM canis216 Again, fabulous storytelling. You really get insid... Dec 20 2009, 03:35 AM Olen Yes... My utter reliance on spellchecking shows it... Jan 5 2010, 04:40 PM Captain Hammer Finally managed to get caught up on this one, Olen... Jan 6 2010, 05:44 PM minque Uhh....jeez I like this one! A bit brutal but ... Jan 8 2010, 07:14 PM Olen Cheers for the comments, it's appriciated. Ye... Jan 12 2010, 01:07 PM Olen This was meant to be part of the previous part so ... Jan 14 2010, 12:54 PM Olen 15. Running
In the end I just headed west for Al... Jan 20 2010, 12:22 PM Olen 16. The Fire of the Moment
On my way to the taver... Jan 25 2010, 03:53 PM canis216 Ah, excellent work once again. I look forward to s... Jan 26 2010, 04:10 AM Olen 17. False Light
Pandemonium ruled. People ran, ... Jan 30 2010, 08:09 PM canis216 Wow! Intense! Jan 30 2010, 09:32 PM Olen Cheers for the comments, there's still pleanty... Feb 4 2010, 03:20 PM Olen The story changes direction somewhat now so if you... Feb 9 2010, 07:43 PM Olen 20. News in the South
Outside the high sun beat ... Feb 15 2010, 04:56 PM Olen 21. Glittering Opportunity
I rolled off the bed.... Feb 22 2010, 03:41 PM Olen 22. Reasons and Excuses
It was the small hours o... Feb 28 2010, 11:55 AM canis216 I really enjoy the grit and intensity of this stor... Mar 3 2010, 01:35 AM Olen Sorry for the late reply, the last few days have b... Mar 15 2010, 10:46 PM Winter Wolf Awesome write. How typical that even after all pos... Mar 16 2010, 06:37 AM SubRosa I started reading from the first post, and still h... Mar 16 2010, 03:37 PM Acadian WooHoo! What's not to like? First person... Mar 16 2010, 09:15 PM mALX I have to catch up still, but I got such a kick ou... Mar 16 2010, 09:53 PM Destri Melarg As the others have said, I just started reading th... Mar 18 2010, 04:55 AM Olen Woo lots of comments. Thanks for the kind words, ... Mar 19 2010, 03:07 PM Remko I got to chapter 10 and I love it! The charact... Mar 19 2010, 05:38 PM haute ecole rider Well. I'm all caught up now on this thread (ha... Mar 19 2010, 07:46 PM mALX As for the pubs, I could swear you had been in som... Mar 20 2010, 06:55 AM SubRosa I am still working my way through. I love the real... Mar 21 2010, 10:55 AM Olen Hmm, missed that, but it's sorted now. Along ... Mar 21 2010, 02:21 PM Destri Melarg Just passed chapter 11 now. Firen is an incredibl... Mar 22 2010, 12:28 AM SubRosa I am up to Chapter 21 now. I am not sure if it is ... Mar 22 2010, 08:23 PM Olen I've never read Heart of Darkness so that wasn... Mar 24 2010, 01:34 AM haute ecole rider This is a hard chapter to write, I can see that . ... Mar 24 2010, 04:35 AM mALX What Hauty said, and I'd like to add that your... Mar 24 2010, 03:33 PM Destri Melarg Okay I’m all caught up.
Impressions: First, th... Mar 25 2010, 06:08 AM Remko I just finished the last chapter and all I can say... Mar 25 2010, 04:25 PM SubRosa I am finally caught up. Whew! You certainly kn... Mar 26 2010, 01:33 AM Remko True, we still don't really know what he is. I... Mar 26 2010, 12:06 PM Olen Wow so many replies... No update today but I thoug... Mar 26 2010, 05:06 PM Winter Wolf
Remko (and SubRosa) - It is mentioned a few times... Mar 30 2010, 05:33 PM Destri Melarg
Remko (and SubRosa) - It is mentioned a few times... Mar 26 2010, 05:47 PM Olen 27. Bitter Dreams
The slaughter finished I plodd... Mar 29 2010, 02:20 PM mALX Really great detail, even right down to following ... Mar 29 2010, 04:40 PM haute ecole rider Excellent overview of what comes after the sack, w... Mar 29 2010, 04:45 PM SubRosa Grey-Tail the other Argonians certainly have passi... Mar 29 2010, 04:49 PM Remko I thought it was a very clever - and logical - cha... Mar 29 2010, 06:22 PM Destri Melarg Firen’s concern over the fate of the slaves and hi... Mar 31 2010, 01:10 AM Remko Okun is a name from "Independance Day", ... Mar 31 2010, 05:15 PM Olen Thanks for all the comments again, they're gre... Apr 2 2010, 03:47 PM Remko aaarrgghhh.... MORE! Apr 2 2010, 04:17 PM Destri Melarg Oh man, this is really starting to get good! ... Apr 2 2010, 09:34 PM mALX
Oh man, this is really starting to get good! ... Apr 2 2010, 11:17 PM SubRosa Now we see the fallout of the raid, which Firen ha... Apr 2 2010, 11:12 PM haute ecole rider Agreed that the swim at the end of the chapter was... Apr 3 2010, 12:07 AM canis216
Never realized Argonians can be such prudes!
... Apr 3 2010, 05:01 AM Winter Wolf A masterful chapter. Lovely command of dialogue th... Apr 3 2010, 07:07 AM Olen Thanks for the comments, oddly the last chapter wa... Apr 6 2010, 04:28 PM mALX Huge amount of detail in this chapter, written nat... Apr 6 2010, 07:22 PM Destri Melarg I agree, very powerful. I am really growing to ad... Apr 6 2010, 08:58 PM SubRosa This one line stays with me the most, due to it po... Apr 6 2010, 11:02 PM Remko Loved it, the sneaking part was exceptionally well... Apr 7 2010, 02:40 PM haute ecole rider I"m still reading and enjoying this.
This la... Apr 7 2010, 06:22 PM Olen Thanks for the comments all, I appriciate them. I... Apr 11 2010, 06:18 PM SubRosa Excellent description of the ford. You vividly cap... Apr 11 2010, 07:21 PM haute ecole rider Awesome! The description of the river, the rem... Apr 11 2010, 07:26 PM mALX The last paragraph is HUGE! Very powerful writ... Apr 11 2010, 08:12 PM Olen Well seeing as the last piece was short as I wante... Apr 13 2010, 05:49 PM Destri Melarg Chapter 30:
I stand in full agreement with the oth... Apr 13 2010, 11:12 PM SubRosa An exciting entry, made so by the palpable tension... Apr 15 2010, 05:47 PM Remko Loved chapters 30 and 31 forreasons mentioned abov... Apr 16 2010, 04:20 PM mALX Yes, more more!!! You always seem to... Apr 16 2010, 07:16 PM Olen Thanks for the comments, I've taken a lot more... Apr 17 2010, 08:34 PM SubRosa That was a very exciting battle! You showed th... Apr 18 2010, 08:35 AM mALX
mALX's comment does raise a question for me -... Apr 18 2010, 09:18 AM Destri Melarg The battle sequence was excellent. I was hoping t... Apr 19 2010, 01:16 AM canis216 Powerful.
I'm not sure what else I can say. Apr 20 2010, 04:01 AM haute ecole rider Sorry for not posting sooner.
I have read this tw... Apr 20 2010, 02:45 PM Olen Thanks for the comments, so many have inspired me ... Apr 22 2010, 04:52 PM
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