Buffy the Bowgirl, Book 1, Thread 1, Do You Know the Way to Kvatch? Options

[Acadian]

Welcome to the adventures of Buffy the Bowgirl!

My name is Acadian. Buffy is an elven mystic archer that I have the pleasure to travel Tamriel with.

This is Book 1 of her journal. It begins with Buffy being briefly incarcerated in the Imperial Prison, and ends as she attempts to bring freedom to the city of Kvatch. It is a sprawling story that will require 176 episodes, spread over five threads. Appropriately, I have nicknamed Book 1, 'Do You Know the Way to Kvatch?'

Buffy's personal journey is more important than her destination. Our writing style is character-driven. I help Buffy write her journal because I have a truckload of passion for her, not because I am a writer. We take plenty of liberties with quests and NPCs, but only few liberties with game mechanics because there is an aspect of 'how to / mystic archer guide' woven into her stories. Therefore, we tend to eschew earthly things and stick rather closely to Nirnian physics. In Buffy's world for example, a skilled archer can 'zoom in' on her target and cause her enemies to 'turn green' with poison. Buffy has never been to medieval Europe or ancient Rome, and her world does not resemble those places.

I thank you so much, should you find our humble effort earns and maintains your readership. My hope is that Buffy will worm her way into your heart, as she has mine.

Edit: Buffy has completed this book as of August 2012, and I would like to think that the reading of it is a satisfying experience - both complete as well as suggestive of sequels. For those newer readers who would like to catch up to us in one short sitting, you might find this helpful: Buffy – The Executive Summary Thread.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Oct 28 2012, 12:33 PM

[SubRosa]

Ahh, goblins camped out on the road. The way from Skingrad east is always a gladiator school, with all the caves and mines right next to the road. Here you show more thoughtful archery tactics in Buffy's planning and staging of arrows.

Like Olen, I found Buffy's observation about goblin blood being as red as hers to be a good touch. It shows a bit of unexpected empathy on Buffy's part.

Superian is also coming much more alive in the BF 2.0. The extra effort you are making to describe her reactions are paying off with her feeling like a character, rather than a conveyance.

Good extra bit of Buffy sensing something evil as she went by the castle. She is her father's daughter after all.

Welcome to Skingrad. Yep, that is one friendly guildhall alright. You capture the aloofness and haughy attitude of Adrienne Berene quite well.

The Breton lifted an arm draped in blue velvet, and touched a manicured finger to her chin as she thought for a moment.
This sentence really stands out to me, as it does a marvelous job of showing us so much about Adrienne. You reveal how she is dressed, what her race is, the manicured nail implies that she does not work with her hands, and takes pains with her appearance, and finally it adds a bit of action, showing us that she has to think about her response. Plus, it avoids having to use a speech tag.

Oh noes, Buffy is not planning on sleeping in the Skingrad guild hall is she! Quick Buffy run, before you find Vigge crawling into bed with you!


nits:
Stealthily getting to my perch had not been hard.
This feels a little awkward. Perhaps rearrange it a bit:
Reaching my perch in stealth had not been difficult. or It had not been difficult to reach my perch without being seen.


The Imperial, bearing the same dual moon symbol on his cuirass and shield was not much older than I.
This came kind of suddenly. Was there supposed to be a sentence at the end of the previous paragraph saying that Buffy saw a guard at the gate?