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> Haa-Rei the Marsh Ranger
hazmick
post Aug 12 2010, 08:03 PM
Post #1


Mouth
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Joined: 28-July 10
From: North



Chapter 1.0

I ran from the Merchants Inn as fast as I could. Holding tight to the precious bounty I had wrapped in cloth, ignoring the angry shouts behind me. I dipped into an empty side street and paused to look around before examining my prize, a large loaf of bread covered in melted cheese. Deeh would not believe that I had stolen some food without his help, I couldn't wait to get back to Leyawiin and tell him.

The bread was warm out of the oven and tasted delicious as I hungrily crammed it into my mouth. Before I could finish, I heard a rattle of armour and a wall of iron in the shape of a legionnaire crashed down the alley towards me. My hand found the hilt of my dagger but I decided against fighting this particular soldier. If only I had a bow.

“Stop right there pondscum!” his voice was like thunder and echoed about the grubby walls surrounding me. The only exit was behind me. I made a run for it but the soldier was too fast and grabbed my arm in a bone breaking grip.

“I assume you don’t have 5 septims?” This time his voice was lower but still sounded loud in the cramped alleyway.

I quickly swallowed the bread in my mouth, “I…no,” my mouth was dry and my voice croaked, if I was a man or mer my face would be bright red with embarrassment and fear.

“Come with me,” The soldier secured the irons tightly on my thin wrists, cutting off the circulation. Minutes later we arrived at the imperial prison, it’s walls were darker than those of the other city districts and corpses in various states of decay hung from atop it’s large spire.

Once inside I was lead down a short tunnel, light seemed to fear this place as it grew darker and darker the deeper we descended. One of the rusty cell doors was open, I assumed this was mine.

Sure enough on reaching the cell, an iron clad hand grabbed me by the neck and pulled me closer to the soldier.

“ I hope you rot, criminal scum,” His voice was a low growl with an edge of disgust which most people had when talking to me and the other beggars. The soldier threw me into the cell, my head colliding with something hard. Everything went dark.

This post has been edited by hazmick: Aug 17 2010, 03:56 PM


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"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

"...a quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself, always a laborious business."
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mALX
post Aug 21 2010, 06:00 PM
Post #2


Ancient
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Joined: 14-March 10
From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN



I have to agree with Hauty, your descriptions are wonderful and bring the story to life visually to the reader! Great Write!


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Posts in this topic
hazmick   Haa-Rei the Marsh Ranger   Aug 12 2010, 08:03 PM
Acadian   Oooh hazmick! Nice start! I like how you...   Aug 12 2010, 08:26 PM
hazmick   Thankyou very much B) this was quite a fast piec...   Aug 12 2010, 08:49 PM
SubRosa   Indeed, this was a good start. You show us a bit a...   Aug 13 2010, 12:38 AM
Destri Melarg   I agree with SubRosa. It is nice to discover fact...   Aug 13 2010, 09:49 AM
hazmick   @ SubRosa: I'm glad you like it. I'm going...   Aug 13 2010, 11:20 AM
treydog   Others have already pointed out the richness of yo...   Aug 13 2010, 06:58 PM
hazmick   @ All: thanks for reading, enjoy. Chapter 1.1 ...   Aug 14 2010, 01:33 PM
Acadian   Wel-done hazmick! You really progress from yo...   Aug 14 2010, 03:04 PM
SubRosa   As Acadian said, much better on the technical bits...   Aug 14 2010, 06:02 PM
treydog   Late to the party, as usual... I completely endor...   Aug 14 2010, 08:44 PM
hazmick   @ all: such wonderful praise from such wonderful w...   Aug 16 2010, 05:48 PM
Acadian   I thoroughly enjoyed Haa-Rei's trials of the t...   Aug 16 2010, 06:42 PM
SubRosa   Haa-Rei continues to be an interesting character. ...   Aug 16 2010, 09:44 PM
Destri Melarg   Chapter 1.1 I am in complete agreement with every...   Aug 17 2010, 08:34 AM
hazmick   I've just done a quick edit to solve the some ...   Aug 17 2010, 04:40 PM
Acadian   Nice edits, and well-worth a reread! So, the ...   Aug 17 2010, 04:59 PM
SubRosa   Agreed, the extra bits do fill things in. Haa-Rei ...   Aug 17 2010, 06:04 PM
treydog   I pulled those two quotes because they highlig...   Aug 20 2010, 06:13 PM
mALX   Now this one I will LOVE !!! Oblivion...   Aug 20 2010, 07:40 PM
hazmick   @Acadian & SubRosa- I'm glad you liked the...   Aug 21 2010, 04:19 PM
haute ecole rider   First let me apologize for not posting sooner. I h...   Aug 21 2010, 04:37 PM
Acadian   This is fabulous! I love that you are taking ...   Aug 21 2010, 05:32 PM
treydog   Still reading and still enjoying your story. One ...   Aug 21 2010, 09:32 PM
SubRosa   I thought that was a good touch when Haa-Rei looke...   Aug 23 2010, 01:19 AM
hazmick   @Haute: I'm glad you like it, good to know you...   Aug 31 2010, 11:35 AM
Acadian   :D I'm sure that Teresa and Buffy appreciate...   Aug 31 2010, 01:17 PM
haute ecole rider   I'm glad to see you taking the time with devel...   Aug 31 2010, 03:03 PM
treydog   You did a good job with the “hand-off” of the main...   Aug 31 2010, 03:34 PM
SubRosa   Starting college and going to be busy partying? :...   Aug 31 2010, 04:45 PM
mALX   I can't say enough about your attention to det...   Aug 31 2010, 09:55 PM
hazmick   @ All: thankyou for your praise and good-luck-givi...   Sep 6 2010, 01:16 AM
mALX   ARGH! It's Hermaeus Mora!!!...   Sep 6 2010, 01:33 AM
Acadian   Oooh! A mystery. And some nice development o...   Sep 6 2010, 03:22 AM
Remko   Loving the development in this.   Sep 6 2010, 01:34 PM
hazmick   Loving the development in this. I didn't qui...   Sep 6 2010, 01:53 PM
Remko   My bad, I overlooked the word "now". I t...   Sep 6 2010, 01:59 PM
treydog   Interesting update- especially as this is a quest ...   Sep 6 2010, 02:24 PM
haute ecole rider   I really like the direction this is going. I unde...   Sep 6 2010, 02:59 PM
SubRosa   Would that strange library be the realm of a certa...   Sep 7 2010, 05:19 PM
Destri Melarg   Forgive me for not commenting sooner. Real life h...   Sep 8 2010, 09:21 AM
Zalphon   This is definitely a good story :)   Sep 11 2010, 06:17 PM
hazmick   hey guys! I know you've all been waiting f...   Oct 1 2010, 03:09 PM
mALX   hey guys! I know you've all been waiting ...   Oct 1 2010, 03:37 PM
treydog   hey guys! I know you've all been waiting ...   Oct 1 2010, 04:30 PM
Grits   I love the detail that Hee-Rei improved his wardro...   Jul 21 2011, 12:30 PM


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