Funny Moments In Fanfics, Post Your Favorite Funny Scene From Someone Else's Fic Options

[mALX]

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I'd like this thread to be used as a tribute to all the writers on the FanFic Forum here at Chorrol - please feel free to add any tidbits you find in anyone's story while reading!!





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I'll start off with one of my faves:


Tellie: The chronicles of Salina Delvanni



Lachance giving you a problem? Just tell him you'll go Tellie on his butt and watch him run, lol.


Here is a little sample of what Tellie did to Lachance in "The chronicles of Salina Delvanni" - I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life:

The man laughed a bit. "Thats true, but still you are a murderer, and I, I am Lucien Lachance, a speaker for the Dark Brotherhood, and a member of the Black Hand, and we would like to offer you a place amongst us".

I looked down at my hand for a moment, feeling rage mount up in me, but I concealed it as giddyness, "Yes..." I said as I rose up from the floor, and sheathed the dagger, with a swift movement I rammed my knee into his groin, and was pleased to hear him whimper in pain, as he dropped to the floor cluthing his lower areas..."YOU BROKE MY FINGERNAIL...NEVER BREAK A WOMAN'S FINGERNAIL" I yelled at him, and delivered another kick and was pleased to hear him whimper again 'poor bugger propably never been this humiliated before'I thought with a smirk.

Followed by this scene:

So”, a dark creepy voice awoke me, and true enough there stood Lucien Lachance, whom had now added what looked like metal plating in the crotch area of his black robe.

This post has been edited by mALX: Feb 12 2011, 06:26 PM

[mALX]

Rachel The Breton and her fic: Edward The Imperial


I could quote the entire story, but for right now I'll just post her unusual ending to the Umbacano questline...when Edward wants to rest up in Cadlew Chapel (of all places) ...and is still convinced Claude Maric is Umbacano's male prostitute - don't ask.

Edward saw what it was that had assailed him. It – he – was the prostitute, Claude Maric, lying atop him, his face mere inches from his own.

“Ahhhhh!” Edward screeched again, fighting in vain to free himself from his assailant. To his horror, he found his hands bound. His eyes widened in renewed mortification. Clearly, this too was the work of the prostitute – to render him powerless to escape his vile attentions.

Edward began to thrash this way and that, trying to force his assailant off him, all the while screeching in horror. Maric spoke something in a muffled tone, and shielded his face from the Imperial's blows, as he rolled away from him.

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Edward, partially bound, was wielding a small dagger, and Maric, a rope tied round his hands and another around his feet, was still managing to pummel him with what looked to be a severed arm.

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He managed to beat Edward again and again with it – a splatting stroke on the head here, on the arm there, on the face again. The Imperial, for his part, was cursing and lunging rather hopelessly with his dagger, either tripping on the other man's ropes or being rebuffed by his macabre fleshy weapon each time.

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“This blithering coward drew a knife on me!” Maric shouted. “I tried to get him to escape, but he...”

“Liar!” Edward shot back. “I woke up to this sick son of a Breton trying to kiss me!”

“Kiss you?” the Breton blanched. “I'd sooner chew on that maggot-infested arm than touch my mouth to yours, you putrid animal!”

“A likely story!” the Imperial sneered. “You spotted your chance, now that Umbaccano is dead, and tried to take it. And if you weren't interested in kissing me – and worse – what were you doing on top of me like that? And with your mouth right above mine -”

“Ye gods!” Claude recoiled, seeming to go green at the very suggestion. “You are as dense as you are disgusting! I fell off the table, trying to wake your stupid -”

“So you randomly go around kissing people after you fall?” Edward snorted.

“How could I kiss you?! I was gagged!”

“That didn't stop you from trying!”

“That's it!” Maric shouted, reaching for the weapon he'd dropped. “I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago...”

“Not if I finish you first,” Edward snarled, retrieving his dagger. “I'll show you what I think of your 'attentions'... ”

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The Breton rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, of course...how could I forget the whole 'kissing episode.'”

“Exactly!”

“You're pathetic,” Maric sighed, his lip upturned in disgust.

Edward stared in astonishment at him. “Coming from someone who ties people up so that -”

“I didn't tie you up, you moron!” the Breton interrupted. “I told you – the Necromancers tied both of us up! I was trying to wake you up so you could escape before they came back.”

Edward rolled his eyes. “I'm sure you were.”

The expression of disgust had returned to the Breton's face. “I can't stand you...why the hell would I want to...to...to...” His face contorted with mortification at the idea, he trailed off, as if at a loss for words, so reprehensible was the idea to his mind of any form of physical contact with Edward.

The Imperial loosed a short, sarcastic laugh. “Nice try, Maric...but no one believes you.”