The Talendor Chronicles, Part One Options

[TheOtherRick]

AUTHORS NOTE AND DISCLAIMER

This is my first attempt at fan fiction. I am not a writer, by profession or hobby. At least it wasn't a hobby until now. We'll see where that goes. So since I am not a writer, grammatical and spelling errors may slip past the spell-check from time to time. Please feel free to point them out so that I may make the proper edits.

I have read very little fan fiction, which is to say that I have not finished reading any story that I started reading...yet. But starting to read a few has put a flow in my creative juices. (Go Buffy!) Any similarity to any other fan fiction posted in this or any other forum is purely coincidental, with one exception. I have posted this story on another site. I am posting it here because I would like feedback, and I am not getting any at the other site. The readers here seem to post more feedback than readers at the other site. I'm not trying to be a glory hound, and I encourage constructive criticism.

The story is a gameplay narrative. It starts in the 3rd person for the prologue only, the rest will be in 1st person. It is not a walk-through of the Main Quest. However, as it is a gameplay narrative, so readers will have to plod through the tutorial section much as I had to plod through while writing it. The tutorial is essential for character development, as you will see. The posts will be relatively short so that the reader will not have to wade through miles of text per post. To keep them short, I am going to borrow Acadian's chapter numbering system (1.1, 1.2, etc.) so I don't end up with three digit chapter numbers.

I hope you will enjoy...The Talendor Chronicles

Post Script - I have already screwed up. Instead of putting "Authors Note and Disclaimer" in the subject line, it should read "Part One". Is there a way to change that?

Post Script #2 - The first four installments after the Prologue are way too long. This was a rookie mistake and has been rectified Beginning with Chapter 3. I apologize for the long posts, but I promise you'll be glad you slogged through them.

This post has been edited by TheOtherRick: Feb 5 2011, 02:00 AM

[TheOtherRick]

@ Acadian - Glad to see you're starting to trust Honditar. Hopefully he can keep the trust he has earned.

@ T.K. - Welcome aboard! I hope you are enjoying it half as much as I am enjoying Derelas' story. Part of chosing amnesia as a vehicle was pure laziness on my part. I didn't have to coem up with a back story...right away at least.

@ Cap'n Hammer - Welcome as well! The other aspect of using amnesia is that it makes it easy to give a take on game mechanics, as if they're being seen for the first time. And ditto for me regarding trying to kill a deer for the first time in game. They kept running away!
RE: Ellipsis and the use of them, I have been puzzling over that a little. They are indeed meant to be a brief pause for effect. My rationale has been that a comma would be the shortest pause, next would be a period and starting a new sentence, and the longest being the ellipsis. Pauses longer than that would likely have text explaining the reason for a pause between closed and open quotes. I'll also use the ellipsis for trailing off. My take may be wrong on all of this. Thank you for pointing it out. It gives me cause for research.

@ grits - Talendor really wanted that deer! He hasn't killed anything "hunting" yet, except that rat! But the timing wasn't right...he couldn't do it.

@ Everyone - Thanks as always for your comments and support.

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Chapter 11 – Broken Promises

The easing storm had brought me back from drifting into a nap with a last peal of thunder. The wind had calmed to a breeze and the rain had lessened from a deluge to a steady soaker. I lay on my bedroll in the dark for a while, going over the bow techniques that Honditar had showed me. The wolf fight nagged at me. I had reached for my sword. That momentary delay had almost cost me my throat. I made myself a promise, lying next to that boulder. I would concentrate on my bow and forget about bladed weapons.

But the blade feels as natural to you as the bow does…

I could not deny that thought. Ever since the cell, I had reflexively reached for the blade when I needed defense. For that matter, it was my sword that had ended my first encounter with a child-killer. Somehow, I knew how to use the bloody thing. Maybe if I find one in the cave, I’ll just keep it.

Hey…knot-head…You know more than Honditar now? I don’t think so…

That was another undeniable thought. I shook my head and reaffirmed my self-promise. No swords. Tired of debating with myself, I rose and gathered my gear. I didn’t relish walking in the rain at night, but I had grown restless. I walked to the nearest tree and checked for moss to get my bearings. Once I did, I pulled out the map and chose my direction.

After a mile or so, I reached a stand of spruce trees. There was immediate relief from the soaking rain once I was beneath the low canopy. I paused here for a few minutes to rest my eyes from squinting against the rain. The spruce boughs had kept the ground relatively dry here. It would make an ideal campsite for the return trip. I could hear the rain slowing to a drizzle as I stood there. It was time to get moving again.

It must have been getting close to dawn because the area was noticeably better lit when I emerged from the trees. But what really caught my eye was a deer silhouetted against a pale boulder. I stopped and crouched slowly, readying an arrow shot. I began a steady inhale timed with drawing back the bowstring, accounted for the drop and let the arrow fly. I lost sight of it in the dim light, but was rewarded with seeing the deer tumble up against the boulder. I leaped into the air, pumping my fist, and started toward my kill…then froze. A fair sized gray animal had reached the deer and was starting to eat it! I sent an arrow into the deer thief as fast as I could. It barked and ran off just as a red-hot poker lanced my thigh and knocked me down. I looked at my leg and saw that it had sprouted a shaft with feathers on the end of it.

“Die, fetcher!” came a cry from the unseen archer in the general direction of where the deer lay. I retreated into the spruce trees as fast as my wounded leg would allow and got my back against a central tree trunk. Panting and wincing from the pain, I readied an arrow. I hoped the archer would blunder through the boughs in pursuit. I waited until I heard the branches rustle, and then turned from behind the tree, aimed and shot. The arrowhead shattered the bandit’s nose bridge on its way through the back of his skull, knocking my attacker out of his boots.

“Arrrggggh!” I screamed through clenched teeth. I dropped to my knees and looked at my wound. The arrow had passed all the way through, its glistening head pointing behind me. My thigh was bleeding profusely. I removed the dagger from my belt and cut the shaft behind the arrowhead, yelling with fresh pain as I did. On the ebb of that pain came one more wave as I removed the severed shaft from my leg. My vision was beginning to swim. I fumbled through my satchel for healing potions and drank two of them down as fast as I could open them. Warm healing surges washed through me as I passed out.

* * *

I opened my eyes to a lattice of spruce branches above my head. It seemed that I was only out for a few minutes. Feeling my leg, I confirmed this by finding blood still wet on my greaves. I sat up and saw the bandit lying barefoot with an arrow through his face. I looked back at my leg and marveled again at the power of the healing potion. Getting to my feet, I walked over and collected the bandit’s boots.

“Thanks for getting out of these for me, fetcher,” I said, shaking the boots at the corpse on my way out of the trees. It was only marginally brighter out, reconfirming that I was unconscious for just a few minutes. I walked over to the deer and hastily field dressed it. I wasted a lot of meat, taking only a couple pounds of the venison, but I was in a hurry. I had no idea if there might be other enemies in the area. About twenty feet away was a dead dog with an arrow in its neck. I went over to it and recovered the arrow, then continued toward the cave entrance.

The pre-dawn light was helpful as I entered Broken Promises. I was able to remain undetected by enemies as I closed the door behind me. There were two bandits in the first room I snuck into. They were talking to each other. Oddly enough, they were talking about the same subjects I had heard discussed while walking the streets of Chorrol. It was like they were out for a stroll on a sunny day. I hoped they would split up, but grew impatient. I sent one bandit strolling backward and ended its sunny days. The other turned and drew its weapon, yelling that same absurd phrase, “Die, fetcher!” Two shots later, he was strolling with his companion again.

I walked over and pulled my arrows from the would-be fetcher-killer. He was a dark elf…Dunmer is what Honditar had called them. The dead archer outside had also been a dark elf.

Maybe ‘fetcher’ is what the Dunmer called children…

The rest of what I have grown to think of as the ‘cave cleaning’ went smoothly. Only one other bandit had to endure the pain of a second arrow. The rest entered eternal sleep completely by surprise. After the last bandit had fallen, I slung my bow and lit a torch. I had treated this cave just as I had treated Pillaged Mine, waiting to search for and gather loot until all enemies were dead. I yawned and rubbed my eyes. As much as I hated the confines of the cave, I needed to rest. I had not slept since the night I exited Pillaged Mine. I laid the torch down and unrolled my bedroll. I don’t remember my head hitting the pillow.

* * *

When I awoke, the first order of business was eating. I was starved! I started a fire by incanting that strange sounding word. The bandits had been kind enough to supply some bread and dishes. I pulled the venison from my satchel, along with some cheese. After roasting the venison, I placed some on sliced bread with some cheese and wolfed it down. The former occupants had even provided a choice of wine or ale to wash it down.

Who knew that their last act would be one of hospitality?

I chuckled at that thought as I gathered my gear and relit my torch. It was time to head back. Searching the cave yielded over a hundred more Septims, some potions, poisons, and jewelry. And of course, nine more pairs of boots. The boots wouldn’t bring much money, but I found an odd joy at leaving the child-killers shoeless.

I reached the entrance, doused the torch, and stepped outside. Mayhem ensued immediately as a bandit charged at me with a mace that was ready to scramble my brains. In one swift motion, I pulled my bow and swung it like a scythe at the bandit’s legs as I ducked. He went down like a sack of potatoes. Before he could recover, I was standing with one foot on his throat. I had pulled an arrow and had it nocked and pointed at his head.

“I’ll give you a choice, child-killer,” I said, “You can join your dead comrades, or you can remove your boots and start running. As long as I see your back and not your face, my arrow will stay resting against the bowstring. What say you?” I finished, drawing the bowstring back halfway.

“I’ll go! I’ll go! I’ve never killed a child, I swear. Just don’t kill me!” he replied. I removed my foot and he did as I had ordered, removing his boots and running as if his life depended on it, which it did. When he was out of sight, I walked over to a small boulder and sat down. I was trembling.

Where is this side of you coming from? What well of courage spewed that fountain of bravado?

Being so caught up in learning from Honditar, spelunking for income, and trying to fit in, I had hardly thought about my true situation. I needed answers and had no idea where to find them. I didn’t even have a clue as to where to start looking.

You have killed close to two dozen people on top of countless other creatures and taken it as a matter of fact, like it was normal. What are you doing here?

I got up, shaking my head. I couldn’t dwell on that right now. I needed to take things one step at a time, one day at a time. I knew I was avoiding the issue. But what choice did I have? I wasn’t going to answer my questions or solve my mysteries by sitting here brooding over them. I gathered my gear and paused, looking at the cave entrance. Broken Promises cave had yielded one unbroken promise. I had not used a blade in battle even once. I turned and headed back to Chorrol, one step at a time…

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have stated that this is a game narrative, but there will be times that I will have to take some license. This has been one of those times. I can't see Talendor killing every NPC that attacks him. Hence, the merciful release of the last bandit. He won't be the last, just as "mercy" won't be my only deviation from game mechanics.

This post has been edited by TheOtherRick: Feb 16 2011, 01:34 AM

[Captain Hammer]

Maybe ‘fetcher’ is what the Dunmer called children…

No. Think more along the lines of a "Mother Fetcher," since I think this was Bethesda's way of getting crap past the radar. Alternatively, remember that "T" can be silent in words like "Tsunami" and the "ch" can be hard like in the name "Zachary." Now we just put the emphasis on the last syllable like it's a war-cry...

As far as game mechanics go: Hey, don't worry about it. In fact, good for you! If Bethesda had sunk as much code into the game to allow you to simulate playing a pen-and-paper RP without noticing the difference, the result would have been a game bigger and more convoluted than any current console could handle. I, for one, approve of any attempts to include realistic things like 'fear of continuing to fight an opponent that clearly outmatches you' or "Hey, there's an avenue of escape here!" as part of the story experience.

You don't see grabbing a Dremora and shoving his head into the Sigil Tower's Fire-Column-of-Death as part of the game experience. Did that stop me? HECK NO! And it was fun to write that in.