Very nice, tense fight scene here.
QUOTE
I staggered and fell to one knee, Daedra Slayer dragging my right arm down, the weight of the immense sky above pressing me into the hard cobblestones.
Crushingly effective description!

QUOTE
I looked down at my plain linens. “I see, Pollus. To tell the truth, I’m touched by your concern.”
Argh! Don't let mALX see that, it'll just lead to more spear-polishing speculation!
Nice touch with Pollus coming in confused as to who's on what side of the fight, too. A neat little nod at the now rather famous bug in-game that resulted in passing Legion soldiers thinking that your Battlemage escort assaulted Caminalda, and not the other way around (as it was in reality).
Nit?
QUOTE
White energy consumed the scroll and swirled around me just as Caminalda flung another emerald-tinged spell at me.
I understand you are at complete liberty to change things up between the game and the story, but isn't Alteration magic (which Burden belongs to) supposed to be a sort of golden-white? Green is Illusion.