Old Habits Die Hard Part Six, some old habits never die Options

[haute ecole rider]

Hello all, and welcome to the final thread of Old Habits Die Hard. Those of you who are familiar with the Main Quest know that we are fast approaching the end game. Only three more artifacts to obtain, then we can recover the Amulet of Kings and light those Dragonfires and see Martin to the Dragon Throne at last. Right?

For those who are coming late to the party, here are the links to the other five threads:

Chapters 1 − 7: From the Prison to finding the Path of Dawn.
Chapters 8 − 13: From Dagon’s Shrine to Bravil.
Chapters 14 − 18: From Sheogorath’s Shrine to the start of the Grand Tour of Cyrodiil.
Chapters 19 − 22: From Leyawiin to Skingrad.
Chapters 23 − 25: From returning home to Anvil to the final Mages Guild recommendation.

Here in this last thread we will see the Main Quest through to its tragic conclusion. Some questions will be answered, including who is the man Julian loves? Other questions will be raised, including what’s next for Julian? Those of you who have suspected a second story in the making, you are correct.

After a year and a half of writing this story, I am happy to bring this to a close, yet I am sad to bid it adieu. Hopefully I won’t let any and all of you down as we wrap up.

This post has been edited by haute ecole rider: Jun 26 2011, 01:10 AM

[treydog]

This should be the last of my majpr spammage... I will be following Julian to Sancre Tor soon- and should be caught up within the week. That is a- mixed blessing....

“Like half the daedra I’ve faced in the Deadlands,” I mumbled to myself."

There is a spark of the pride we know Julian keeps hidden- or perhaps more her exasperation at rudeness.

Caminalda is wonderfully snarky throughout. And I also like the change you made to the quest based on how well-known Julian is.

“I staggered and fell to one knee, Daedra Slayer dragging my right arm down, the weight of the immense sky above pressing me into the hard cobblestones. With tremendous effort that hurt my neck I looked up in time to see her step toward me, triumph on her face as she raised her hand for the killing spell.”

A wonderful, vivid description- we can TASTE the despair and determination.

“A promise I made before I came here.” I smiled at the thought of meeting that white stallion again. Will he still like me?

Girls and horses. Shakes head.

And Clesa (with Blanco’s able assistance) is quite a horse-trader…

I cannot quote just the “good parts” of 23.11- because I would have to quote it all. One reason I read is to find perfect moments, perfectly described. The pain and the humanity in this section fit that requirement.

“I caught my breath. Blood flows in this house once again.”

Now that is an ending line!

The juxtaposition of Jared’s betrayal with the Sirens is brilliant- as is that last line.

“Why does Mother never speak of my father?”

“That is for her to tell you, Julian,” Relas did not meet my gaze, but turned back to the path and the climb to the farm. “It’s not my place to say anything about him.”

And- even as one incident from Julian’s past is revealed, you treat us to another mystery.

Again, I cannot quote from this section without highlighting all of it, so I will leave it at this. We wanted to know about Julian’s tragic past and now we do. It is a reminder to be careful of what we wish for.

"Before long, I was on my own white stallion and riding out of the courtyard. Clesa watched me go. “Don’t forget to breathe!” she called after me as we headed west, the morning sun warm on our backs."

That brought a big smile to my face- but nothing like one Julian had.

“Clesa!” Ernest growled. “Speak plainly! None of that fancy haughty echo talk!”



"Right now, I’m just trying to think about getting through the day.” Blue eyes drifted into my mind, eyes as azure as the sky. What? Why am I thinking about him now? No. Not him. I shook the thought away. Don’t think about him."

Woo-Hoo! That will start a flurry of page-turning and head-scratching!

"As Blanco passed the Dunmer, Mira heard him blow hard, and looked back to see Marche brushing equine mucus off his blue velvet doublet with distaste. “Blanco, behave,” she whispered into the horse’s ear. He only flicked an ear at her."

Loved Blanco before- even more so now. And the entire section on Blanco and Mira was just wonderful.

“I stared at him, feeling my jaw tighten. Kill him? My eyes drifted over his injuries. He’s right. I can’t give him back his legs, his mobility. Without it, he’s dependent on others. And the folks in Skingrad are not likely to treat him kindly, bandit that he is. I nodded reluctantly and rose to my feet, bringing my plain katana out of its scabbard. The Redguard lay back and closed his eyes.”

Puts me in mind of the long version of the General Sherman quote- “People will tell you that war is all glory- but it is all hell.”

Seeing Merowald (and Paint!) again is always a treat.

“Knowing that there’s people taking casualties, I can’t just sit here and rest until they’re safe,” I countered. “That was my job as pilus in the Legion, and it’s an old habit I prefer not to break right now.”

That is the Julian we know. She will see things through and makes sure the people are safe.

"I decided not to take offense and chuckled, shaking my head. “After half a lifetime in the Legion,” I remarked, “I’m looking to get out of fighting. It’s just not as easy as I hoped.”

One thing you do quite well is show that time has brought changes to Julian’s outlook. By giving her a new start on a different life, you show how well the decision to have her older than the “usual” adventurer has worked. At the same time, her “previous” life (or lives) provides a rich source of material.

“You can’t be in nine places at the same time,” Bittneld half-growled.

A wonderfully clever use of setting-specific phrasing. I admit it slipped past me the first time. Perhaps re-reading some Pratchett- with the significance of “eight,” made me more attuned…

“I let the old smile, the smile I reserved only for combat, the smile that hid my nerves, surface. Her jaw clenched at something she saw in my face.”

Pardon me as I stand on my chair and cheer for Julian. You capture the contradiction of Earana perfectly. She is so arrogant that she treats the player character like dirt- yet she expects a favor all the same. And finally, I love the way you show how the Altmer’s obsession causes her to be oblivious to all the townspeople- who REALLY do not much like her.

Bittneld’s teasing and Faric’s banter were also a lot of fun- as was watching Julian struggle a bit with the unaccustomed attention.

"My thoughts skipped back to a dark stone room and a young legionary. “I have a little experience in that area -” thanks to General Camillus. “I can offer to see what I can do.”

That darned "young legionary" keeps showing up- his young lady will probably do something about that soon enough.

“Canvassing the Castle”

Groan. Despite my enjoyment of mystery stories, I had trouble with this quest for some reason… However, you and Julian handle it quite well, and use the time to add more excellent characterization.

"You mean take one last look at the place where you lost your men. I kept silent, only nodded my understanding. In your place, I would do the same."

For example, right there.

"Chanel stared at me, her eyes huge in her small-featured face. “If you’ve ever been in love, you would know -“

I felt my face freeze at her words. That stings."

Good thing Athlain was smart enough to not make his “interview” with Julian personal. He would not have liked the outcome.

“Some mothers don’t think I make a good role model for their impressionable young daughters,” I remarked dryly as Piner handed the bridle to me. “After all, I’m a Legion pilus, likely to break into foul language at the drop of a hat, spending all my free time in taverns with other rough soldiers, and spoiling for a fight.”

I quite enjoyed that mischaracterization of the Julian we have met. While I have no doubt that might have been who she was while in the grip of drink and skooma….

The description of the hackle-raising pillar at Cloud Top is quite wonderful- as is this bit of introspection:

"The only person I would really trust with such a volume is Martin Septim. But what purpose would giving him this book serve? What would he do with it? He has to focus on recovering the Amulet, he can’t be distracted by a trifling matter as this. Or is this a trifling matter? Nothing daedric is trifling, as far as I know."

The description of Julian’s decision-making process is also welcome- she does not simply assume one course is the “right thing to do” without weighing the alternatives carefully.

Nits:

23.9- “…Hanus knelt on one knee, blood…” More of a preference than a reall issue here- might avoid two “knees” so close together (I hear Foxy sniggering in the background)- with “…Hanus was on one knee, …”

23.14 – “Within the open-sided stable, divided into stalls within, one of the white horses standing one of the rear stalls…”

In her excitement, Julian has lost an “in” between “standing” and “one”.

25.4- “Now I recognized the tall Breton. Though his ginger hair now had more salt than cayenne pepper in it, and his florid face was now more weathered,”

Three uses of “now” in a really short space. I think you could lose the second and third without harm to the meaning.

25.6- “Against the northern arc a chair, empty bottles piled up behind them,…” Should that be “…piled up behind it….”?

25.7- Her voice turned anguished. “I did out of the greatness of the love I held in my heart for him.” In her agitation, Chanel seems to have lost an “it” between “I did” and “out of.”

“I just brought a High Rock stallion in Anvil,” “Bought,” perhaps?