//<-Tamriel Reborn->\\, Follow the tale of a young man trying to find his destiny. Options

[Taaron]

Chapter 1- Rhea the Huntress

"It is time for Nords to learn the truth. Eternal life can be theirs, without the need to spend an entire mortal life in vain pursuit of something completely unattainable. In the end, all valiant Nords can enter Sovngarde. "

It was the end of Evening Star. My cousin and I were traveling to Windhelm, a city in the far reaches of Skyrim. We had received a letter from a man named Odar Stormcloak. The letter had told us to ride to Windhelm for an important matter. It took us three days to ride through Hammerfell, and four to get to Windhelm. That is where my adventure really started.

It was blur. “Taaron.” My mother whispered to me. “Taaron!” I woke up. “Taaron are you okay?” It was my cousin, Kobra. She was sitting next to me, looking worried. “You were dreaming. What about?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I said. I got up and walked over to the fireplace. “How long till we reach Windhelm?”
“Only a few days I’m guessing. We’re running low on food, we should go hunting tomorrow.”
“It’s fine I’ll go now.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t really know Skyrim’s terrain.”
“Trust me, cousin. I’ll get the food.” And I was off.

I pulled the arrow out of it’s quiver. As I placed the arrow on the string, the faint smell of Frostbite Poison, seeped into my nose. My fingers tensed. I had my eyes on the elk. I got down on one knee, preparing to fire that single poisoned arrow. This was the moment. The elk stopped moving. Come on, Taaron! I thought. All of a sudden, the elk fell over. Huh? Was someone else hunting it? From the trees, a woman emerged. I took out my dagger. The woman hadn’t seen me yet. She was moving towards the elk, slowly, as if she knew someone was there. I clenched my fist around the dagger. For some reason, I started to move towards the elk, too. I must’ve stepped on a twig, because the woman looked towards me. “Back off, now!” she exclaimed.
“I had my eyes on it first.” I replied. She looked at me oddly, then at the dead elk on the ground. She studied it for a second. She looked at the feet, the antlers, and the eyelids. Then, she looked back at me. “Take the elk.” The huntress said.
“What? But you just killed it.” I said to her.
“I’m looking for a dire elk. It’s a creature from the plains of Oblivion. I’m hunting it down. I am in no need of food.”
“Oh. Well, I’m Taaron.” I put my dagger back in my boot. I put out my hand for her to shake.
“Rhea.” She said. “My mother Aela runs the Companions in Whiterun.” She shook my hand. Rhea helped me skin the elk and take the meat. When we were done, she took me to a creek to wash our hands and we said our goodbye’s telling me I was always welcome in Jorrvaskr in Whiterun. I then made my way back to the camp.

This post has been edited by Taaron: Jun 30 2012, 09:24 PM

[Saquira]

Welcome to chorrol Taaron!

I just finished chapter two, and I spotted a few things that I find annoying. I hope you don't mind that I point them out.

Most of the time when a new person speaks, you switch rows, but you missed that a couple of times and it's much easier to know who's speaking when the different speakers are seperated a bit. For example, in the dream(?) with the Altmer and Taaron's mother, both the elf and his mom speaks, yet you never even switch rows. It's generally easier to read when the layout of the story is more ordered, and that might be cause enough for people to take time and read it.

It was the end of the Evening Star. My cousin and I were traveling to Windhelm, a city in the far reaches of Skyrim. We had received a letter from a man named Odar Stormcloak. The letter had told us to ride to Windhelm for an important matter. It took us three days to ride through Hammerfell, and four to get to Windhelm. That is where my adventure really started.

I think you want to remove the "the" that I bolded.

“I’m looking for a dire elk. It’s a creature from the plains of Oblivion. I’m hunting it down. I am no need of food.”

The sentence "I am no need of food" sounds very of. I think you'd either want to write "I am in no need of food" or "I have no need of food".

“Thanks” she says. “You should really get some sleep now, Taaron. Tomorrows a long day.” I obeyed her and took off my armor. I climbed back into my bedroll and tried to sleep. It was the same dream as always.

I think you forgot the apostrophe there.

And lastly you call the mountain Hrothgar. I don't know if that's by choice, but in case you've just forgotten, in Skyrim at least, the mountains name is The throat of the World. It's the temple on top that's named High Hrothgar.

Anyway, just trying to help. I like the story so far, and really hope you'll keep it up.