No Elves in Sovngarde, I've decided to to turn my "A day in Skyrim" adventure i Options

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Hey y'all! The "Today in Skyrim" thing made mee remember how MUCH I love writing, and how much better it is to not just write shutff and hide it. So the first post is going to be the old "chapters" combined along with the new one I just wrote. Feedback welcome, but remember, no one has seen anything I've written in over 8 years, lol

[Acadian]

Oh, those pesky ellipses.... Let me check. . . here we are. I use spaces between them but it is a style choice that is purely up to you. The only advice I’ll offer is to be consistent in how you use them (as you are) and, unless your name is McBadgere, not to overuse them.

"And mead!"
"...and cure disease..."
"Oh."
I rolled my eyes.’
You can take the man out of the Nord, but you can’t take the Nord out of the man!

Loved the scene in the Moorside Inn. Kayla is worried about harm befalling her trophy husband and now she has to worry about the town wench as well!

‘I dreamed of about fifty ways to make Alva suffer for making me look like a jealous cow until morning came, and I opened my eyes.’
This is perfectly written and conveys exactly how I imagine Kayla was feeling.

Oh dear, the morning doesn’t bring reassuring news. Taking Onmund along with her isn’t working out exactly the way Kayla hoped. That quest she had in mind probably needs to move to the back burner till she sorts Onmund out.

This story, and your intimate, character-focused style, is a joy to read.

I see you have two line spaces between all your paragraphs instead of one empty line. Since you did so consistently in this episode, it is not a problem but I wonder if it was intentional? For what it’s worth, I would recommend just a single blank line between your paragraphs. Your editing was very tight here with almost no nits; Just a couple tiny things to take a peek at -

‘Onmund looks at me expectantly. Incredulous, I said "Well, you. . .’
Mixing tenses. I’d use ‘looked’ vs ‘looks’ here.

‘Alva pouted and leaned closer to Onmund. "But I've only just met him! You're going to take {him} away from me so soon?" Onmund said "No dear, she isn't." He looked up at me, and said "I'll be there in an hour or so. You kept me locked up in the house for so long, I need some socialization besides the little brats that run around wild at home." And with that he turned his back on me. I looked to Joanna for help, but she kept her eyes on her sweeping. I went to the room and began to cry.’
Two things. First, I think you need a ‘him’ where I inserted one as an object for the verb ‘take’. Secondly, because there are two speakers, I would break to a new paragraph when you change from Alva to Onmund as the speaker.