No Elves in Sovngarde, I've decided to to turn my "A day in Skyrim" adventure i Options

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Hey y'all! The "Today in Skyrim" thing made mee remember how MUCH I love writing, and how much better it is to not just write shutff and hide it. So the first post is going to be the old "chapters" combined along with the new one I just wrote. Feedback welcome, but remember, no one has seen anything I've written in over 8 years, lol

[Elisabeth Hollow]

I apologize for the amount of content in this chapter. I ended up completely re-writing the chapter until it felt right, which rendered what I had previously written useless. I put in a break as soon as possible, but it's way down there. So again, my apologies.

Where we are: Kayla's first day out since losing her child and healing from Movarth's attack. She had gone to Arcadia's Cauldron and made a Paralyze potion.




CHAPTER 10.2


I heard a faint knock on the front door, and heard Lydia stir from her sleep, but she didn't get up. I walked out of the alchemy room to open the front door when it squeaked open slightly. Onmund peeked his face through. He was cleaner than the last time I had seen him. I noted the bruised cheek and mending lip. My heart began to pound harder than a bard's drum. I didn't know if I felt anger or fear. I decided to act on the anger part.

"What are you doing here?" I spat, shaking. "Are you here to insult me some more? Make sure I'm dead so you can take my money? Blame me for killing my child?" I glanced at his busted lip. "And why haven't you gotten that healed? Are you trying to catch a disease?"

Onmund slipped inside and closed the door. "Our child," he said, ignoring the rest of what I said. His normal attire was odd to me. I was so used to him in his warm mage's robes that I forgot how well a plain set of clothing fit him. I wanted to close the cruel distance between us and embrace him. Images of Alva's lips on his kept me where I was.

I felt tears begin to form in my eyes. "Yes, our child," I took in a deep breath, my anger a heavy stone in my gut. "A child WE made TOGETHER. Something that didn't seem to matter to you when you were with-"

"Don't say it!" Onmund shouted. "I know what I did!" Onmund put his face in his hands and took in a sharp breath and let it out. Then another, and another.

"Are you...crying?!" I asked incredulously. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, which were swollen while his nose was tipped in red.

"You ARE crying!"

"Because this has affected me too! Kayla, what you don't seem to understand is that I am a human who makes human mistakes! All I want you to know is, whether you decide to let me back in or not, not all of the things I did were my fault, and the things I did do were despicable."

His green eyes locked onto my own eyes and he took a step forward. "Has Lydia, or anyone, told you what happened?"

"No, and I don't want to kn-"

"Yes you do. You want to know why I treated you how I did, and how you got back here. And I'm going to tell you." He glanced behind me, and when I turned around I saw Lydia standing at the top of the stairs, watching. She crossed her arms over her chest and was waiting for Onmund to either explain or for me to tell her I wanted him out. She was unarmored, but not unarmed.

"I'm listening." I sat down and waited for him to explain. He took his old chair next to me, and that angered me a bit more. He's sitting there like he belongs here! Like nothing happened! I need to calm down. He faced me and leaned forward so I could hear him.

"Alva was-" I felt my nostrils flare at her name, "-the first woman besides you who has ever given me the time of day." I heard Lydia bark a short laugh, and Onmund shot her a look. I felt insulted at this statement, and I knew my face showed it.

"It's a terrible excuse, I know, but... Kayla, you are my first everything. My first sweetheart, my first kiss, the first woman I've lain with. I began to think that maybe, in some way, I am undesirable. It frustrated me." I stared at him. I wanted to take his face in my hands and stroke his stubble again. How can I be so angry at him, so hurt, yet still want to comfort him? To comfort myself with him?

"You stupid man," I heard Lydia murmur. Onmund ignored her.

"At first, with Alva, it was flirting. I enjoyed it. I knew she was just flirting, but it made me feel... different. Like how a rooster struts about in the yard, or how Mikael acts after he beds a woman."

The image of Mikael walking out of a room at the inn like he owned the place gave me a bit more insight than the rooster analogy. His blonde head bobbed in the same proud way, and he did seem to strut a bit, if not a bit wobbly. But there was more than the simple act of mating to keep the species going. Mikael did it for the conquest. For the chase. For bragging rights.

"You know I like to kick roosters. And Mikael."

Onmund was silent for a second. He stared into the cooking fire as he continued.

"I genuinely thought she was going to let me go to sleep after an hour. But we talked for so long, and before I knew it, she leaned over and kissed me. It felt...strange. I can't explain..."

"Like your mind went numb, and you had no focus or thoughts for anything else but her?"

Onmund looked surprised. "Yes! And she whispered to me that she would be back for me the next night, and to not let you touch me. Before I realized what I was doing, I was writing you a letter. I can't remember what it said."

"Neither can I," I lied. I felt relieved that Onmund wasn't acting entirely on his own. What he did act on...

I leaned back in my chair and studied his face. The tears were real. The emotion behind them was questionable. In my life, I've been with a lot of human men. Onmund wasn't the first male I've seen cry. He wasn't the first one to betray me for another woman either. He was, however, the one I expected the least. He began to look uneasy under my glare and shifted in his seat.

"I said some horrible things to you, Kayla. I didn't mean any of them."

"Yes, you did." Onmund flinched. I sat rigid in my chair. Time to take responsibility for my part in this. "You begged me to take you on an adventure, to treat you like a partner instead of a pet-"

"Kayla-"

"-and what did I do? I took you to Morthal. I thought it was safe, and secure, and boring. I thought you would insist on a carriage back home or stay at the inn. I didn't think there would be an ancient vampire plotting to enslave another town."

If Onmund caught my indiscretion, he showed no knowledge of it. Instead, he took one of my hands in his. His mossy green eyes locked onto mine once again. I began to cry.

He pulled me in a tight hug. I could smell the earthy musk he used. My favorite scent of his.

As we pulled away, he brushed away my tears with a thumb, and then lowered his hand so as to firmly hold on to both of mine. He allowed a few tears of his own to fall before he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Vampire magick. It was all vampire magick. The most hurtful parts, anways.

We sat like that for a few moments before I shakily asked how I got back. It turned out that Thonnir followed me to the cave and saw me give Onmund the last Cure Disease potion. He tossed Onmund his own healing potion and went on to kill the remaining three vampires, Alva included. Onmund said he came back with her head. That struck me as odd, since vampires usually turn to ash when slain. I supposed she wasn't old enough quite yet. Thonnir tossed the head onto the cave floor and helped Onmund carry my body out.

Onmund was not skilled in Restoration, this I knew for a fact because while in the College, he would make fun of Colette Marence, the Restoration teacher. He said her voice made him want to gouge his ears out, and she would just torture him by healing them and speaking again. Thonnir carried me back to Morthal, followed by Onmund and learned no one was skilled in Restoration. At my incredulous face, Onmund shrugged and said "That's Nords for you."

Onmund bought as many healing potions as he could afford and kept me alive until the carriage brought us back to Whiterun to Danica. This is where Danica healed me and informed Onmund that I had lost a child. He began to look ashamed at this point. He walked to the Bannered Mare and drank himself into a stupor for the entire length of my recovery. He said he remembered sending Lydia home one evening, and then woke up with a split lip and bruised cheek in his room at the inn.

"And you deserved it," Lydia called from the top of the stairs. Both Onmund and I jumped, having completely forgotten about her.

Onmund's head dropped. "I know," he conceded. "I can sit here and give off a thousand reason as to why I did it, but none of them would justify my behavior nor make it right." He looked me in the eyes again. "I can only hope that you'll forgive me and let me come back. It should have been me comforting you, not Lydia."

My instincts told me he was sincere, but my angry heart said to make him suffer. I figured he had suffered enough, but wasn't sure how I felt about the situation. Things wouldn't be the same. The things he said... eventually I would forgive him, but in the meantime, I would have to put aside a lot of hurt to have him here. His actions with Alva weren't entirely his own, but afterwards?

"You... can come back," I began, and Onmund looked relieved. "But I'm going on another trip. To Riften. Remember when we got married at the temple there?" Onmund nodded. "I met a woman there, Mjoll the Lioness, who said she needed help with something." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Just let me take this trip, let me think about a few things, and when I come back, I'll make my decision on whether..." I trailed off, and Onmund's eyebrows went up.

"On whether you'll take me back for good?"

"Pretty much," I sighed.

He was silent for a moment. He scooted off the end of his chair and kneeled in front of me. Taking my hand in his, he squeezed my much-smaller hands in his larger, paler hands. He looked up at me, slightly squinted his eyes and pursed his lips. He lifted his eyebrows in a sincere manner.

"Kayla-"

"Are you using the puppy-dog look on me? That isn't fair!"

"Kayla, I don't want you traveling alone, and I don't want to be stuck here. If you could take me with you-"

"Because that turned out so well last time?!"

Onmund looked hurt. "Kayla, that's not fair."

I shook my head. "No, after what happened? No! I can't have you getting right back into danger!"

"So, what? Am I supposed to stay here and continue to be your househusband? That is what got us into this situation!"

"No! I almost lost you!"

"And I almost lost YOU!" Onmund surprised all of us with that outburst. I shrank back in my chair. I had never heard him yell at me like that. He crossed his arms and stood up and began to pace.

"You come home, armor covered in blood, reeking of death and mold, sometimes half dead. Gods know what you face every time you step out that door, what type of people you encounter! And you expect me to just sit right there-" He pointed to his chair, "and wait for you, with my thumb up my-"

"Stop," I pleaded. I dug my nails into the chair. Onmund's face became increasingly red until I thought his head was going to pop off.

"And EXPECT me to just be alright with whatever you're doing, whoever you're with, and not say a word? No. I can't do it anymore, Kayla." He plopped back into his chair, holding his head in his hands. I was completely stunned. Lydia was shocked into silence as well, and made no sound.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" He asked me. I couldn't answer. I couldn't even look at him. I stared holes into the floor.

Onmund stood up slowly, sighing. "If you're not going to answer me, then we have nothing to discuss." He turned towards the stairs, glanced up at Lydia, then turned back towards me.

"Could you tell your housecarl to move so I can get my things?"

I nodded my eyes through the tears that fell freely from my eyes. Lydia stepped aside, but not enough to where Onmund could slip by easily. She glared at him, her mouth pulled back in what looked like a snarl. She watched him gather his things while I could only sit there, my eyes running like a stream of shock and despair.

"Onmund... please..." I began to sob. My hands shook as I bent my head forward and clutched my hair.

Onmund came down with an armful of his things; A staff of fire, a small bag of clothes, and his own coinpurse of septims. He turned to look at me before he opened the door, but I didn't look up at him.I stared at the floor, wishing it, willing it, to open up and swallow me whole. He closed the door quietly behind him.

Lydia stood walked down the steps and stood behind me. She put her hand on my shoulder for a moment. When I didn't move and continued to bawl, she patted my shoulder and walked outside. After a few moments I lost the energy to cry and sat there in silence. The gaping chasm in my chest threatened to pull me in and devour me.

You cannot have this...

I cursed the being that wrote my destiny with every ounce of will I could muster up.

This post has been edited by Elisabeth Hollow: Jan 20 2013, 04:31 PM