Bloody writer's block. Might as well have an interview in the meantime.

Fortunately the choice of who to interview is rather easy. The other guy would refuse. Or kill me.
Alright, please introduce yourself.I am the lady Orgnum Maorlatta, of the House Orgnum, princess and heir to the islands kingdom of Pyandonea. I am also the master of Yokuda-watch and its surrounding lands and people.
Heir? Does that mean you will be queen one day?
I hope not! By the time I'm first in line, there would be no one left to rule. Given an unlimited time for procreation, a lineage can grow rather large. I have so many cousins, uncles and aunts I can't remember even a third of them.
We haven't finished the introduction. What do you look like, what is your height, weight age etc?Um, we're sitting in the same room. I don't think I need to describe myself to you. As for height, I am...let me do the math...around 170cm tall, asking a woman her weight is considered rude and as for age I am only a few years away from celebrating my first hundred!
What kind of person are you?
I aim to be a model representative of my House. This means I must be modest, well-mannered and respectful to those I meet and always willing to lend a helping hand.
Unfortunately some people insist on trying my patience and I regret to admit that I have slipped in the pursuit of the virtues.
Anything you want to tell us about you in the private sphere?The private sphere is that, private. I would prefer not to elaborate too much on it though I suppose I could speak of my activities of interest. In private, I enjoy reading novels of adventure, going on swims with the water spirits, tending to my kelp farm and keeping up on my studies. The unfortunate fact is that as master of an estate, I am too busy speaking law, organizing projects and doing paperwork to have any time for private pursuits. Most days I eat, bathe and go right to sleep.
That is unfortunate.Yes, it quite is. I'll be honest by saying that I looked forward to going to Tamriel. It felt like a vacation, an adventure of expanding one's horizones and leaving the drudgery behind. Up till I actually got there. Now I just wish I'd broken a leg and stayed home.
Can you tell us about your specialties? Every protagonist has a favoured weapon or spell. What is yours?I don't have any. I heal people, I don't kill them and would be much pleased if I never saw a tool of murder again. Next question, please.
Where did you first meet your author?Is it normal for you to talk in the third person? Ah, nevermind. It was at a party in, I don't even know where. It was a gathering of all your characters. Everyone kept changing their past. It was kind of unpleasant to be honest. Anyway, they held a lottery and I drew the lucky lot to meet the sponsor. And here we are now.
Ah, sorry. I'll try not to do that again. Did you ever expect you would be in a book?Of course I did. There was never any doubt that my exploits would be chronicled in a collection of the House Orgnum, maybe an essay or two on Pyandonea-Tamriel relations. I didn't expect to be the sole subject however.
Trust me when I say you're not.Really, who is the other one?
I don't think you want to know that.Will I meet him?
No, he's on the other side of the province right now. And it's a big world, what are the odds? Anyway, let's talk about the story you're in. First off, can you give us a short description on what it is about?Certainly. The story is about how I visit the land of Cyrodiil and retrieve a most valuable treasure the House Orgnum has given in loan to the House Septim of that land. That is all.
That's it? No difficulties?Oh, there are difficulties of course, otherwise this wouldn't be a story. Far too many of them. As a writer, don't you hold the power to change that? You could have made things easier for me.
I do, but there are greater authorities than the writer. Their names are Plot and Tension.Wonderful, just wonderful. So I was betrayed, and almost murdered, multiple times mind you, because it would make for a more interesting story?
Pretty much.Mud-haired frogbrain. I hope you stub your toe on something.
That's kind of rude you know. Anyway, what kind of scenes have you been in?Mostly dialogues, thank the Aedra. It has been a while since I was last in an action scene and I hope it stays that - What are you scribbling there?
Nothing, just some subluminal advice from Tension. Anyway, what kind of scenes do you want there to be more of?Oh, so now I get a say in this? I want romance, a lot of romance. An adventure isn't complete without meeting a gorgeous princess or in my case, a sparkling prince. There hasn't been a single shred of heart-thumping swooning so far. Can you add some, please?
Romance, right. Ah, what is your type as they say?Levvelyn of Glashorn. Handsome, smart, funny, kind, strong, loyal and honourable. I think it is obvious at this point that I am talking of a fictional person here. In the real world, I have to stay with my promised man. It is such a shame that Kelth lacks that talent to shred his shirt every scene. I still think I am lucky though.
I could write him in no problem. You may have your swooning yet.Ah, he is in Pyandonea, I am in Cyrodiil. That is not exactly a distance you cross on an afternoon stroll. Look, just do whatever you like. Just keep me away from anything that might hurt me and keep the romance on a tight leash. Despite my daydreams of a novel hero, I intend to observe my duties and be loyal to my future husband.
You're in luck on that point. I recently gave you the aid of Baurus, remember?Yes, I remember. But how exactly is that supposed to make me lucky? I barely know anything about him that isn't his name. And he isn't quite the type I'm attracted to.
Well, he made it to the Blades despite being far younger than the rest of them. The only reason he got in is because he's good, real good. I think it is safe to say that Penald Baurus is one of the most unstoppable badass killing machines this side of Jupiter. He can protect you from anything sharp and pointy.Jupiter?
A planet, big one, kind of cloudy.Okaay.
Moving on. If you could have superpowers, what would you choose?World peace! No more murder!
That's beauty-pageant stuff. You can be a bit more selfish here.No more murder. And some immortality. Mind you, I was planning on getting there myself. And I mean the good kind of immortality, no cheap knock-offs. So excluding immortality, I'd like to be the most talented woman at spellsong ever!
Let's close this interview. Do you have anything left to say?Yes, I do. With all due respect, I beseech you and the deities Plot and Tension, to stop giving interviews and write faster. I want to go home.