Trouble never comes alone Options

[jack cloudy]

Yes, so I just couldn't resist and had to get this off my chest. We'll see how long it lasts. Same deal as with redemption, I'll be using this post as a character list and the first part will be in the next one. For now the list is simple.

A question. Should I add a separate entry for Spar at the very bottom that is basically the extra-spoilers edition?

Spar: A female Imperial and the main character of this story. Is guided by 'Them'.
(Portrait)

Silent Fist: A Companion Spar hires to escort her into Bleak Falls Barrow. He doesn't speak, wear shirts or use weapons. Click here for portrait

Faendal: A wood elf who lives in a small village known as Riverwood. He works as a hunter and lumberjack.

Lucan Valerius: The shopkeeper of Riverwood.

Jarl Balgruuf: The Jarl of Whiterun, a city located in the center of Skyrim between the fronts of the Imperial and Stormcloak factions.

Hrongar: Jarl Balgruuf's brother. Looks like he walked off the set of a Conan-film.

Irileth: A Dunmer who serves as Jarl Balgruuf's bodyguard.

Proventus Avenicci: Jarl Balgruuf's steward.


Vilkas: One of the Companions, a mercenary group in Whiterun
Vignar Grey-Mane: Formerly of the Companions, now retired.

Ulfric Stormcloak: The rebel leader in Skyrim, once on of the Emperor's generals.

Arkarik: Someone Spar was supposed to meet in Cyrodiil.

This post has been edited by jack cloudy: Aug 1 2013, 06:34 PM

[mALX]

"Or she could be of use in a different way." The dark elf suddenly said. It was the first time I'd seen her open her mouth but her voice told me what I'd already suspected from the armour. That ashbitten husk couldn't be from anywhere else. She was a Vvardenfell native, an old one. I focussed my attention on the glass for a moment and reaffirmed my suspicions. The armour was rough, shards of raw glass melted into steel like uncut gemstones stuck in wax. That kind of improvisation hadn't been necessary since the end of the third era. When the Maormer sold their secrets of working glass to the last emperor of the Septim dynasty. And the armour she wore was made for her, it had never been readjusted for a new owner. This woman was old, raised in a hostile land and had clearly spent her life learning how to kill people. That made her dangerous and all the attention she'd focussed on me so far more than threatening.

This was the outstanding paragraph (to me) in this episode. You shine brilliantly in these little details of observation that set everything before it into contrast and open up a mystery at the same time - this paragraph was sheer genius!

I loved the inner thoughts of the main character above that, wavering between suicidal and a kind of shaky acceptance of wanting to live more than wanting to die. No strong fighting instinct here, more of a one decision was better than the other - very realistic quandary of emotions when facing trouble - loved that touch of realism there!

LOVED this paragraph that wrapped the inner dialogue up neatly:

"Jarl Balgruuf," I said to him, "you offered me a place in your hold. Would it be acceptable for me to take that offer and pledge myself to your service until the end of this war regardless of its outcome?" There was an element of risk in serving the Jarl. General Stormcloak's rebellion could attack Whiterun, or the legion could seek to claim it to secure its own position. I hadn't seen any signs of which side the Jarl was affiliated with at the moment, now that I thought about it. No blue, but no legion red either. There was risk, but I thought it was acceptable. My life was after all no longer required. Only, preferable? The thought was strange, but felt right. Yes, I definitely preferred to live.

On your rant - have to agree with you 100%, and love your choice on changing the quote! That makes a lot more sense to say to me.

I know I quoted these arse-backwards from how they were written, but that first quote was so stand-out that I had to post it first. Awesome Write!




This post has been edited by mALX: May 13 2013, 07:24 PM