 Elestar |
| Eldar |
 Jun 21 2005, 06:42 PM
Post
#1
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 Retainer Joined: 21-June 05 From: Venezuela...  |
Under the dark skies Elestar held his sword against his chest, his thoughts whiting his blade, he saw them all standing there, like the shadow of a star on a demons heart, with their twisted minds and broken souls. The black armours with red eyes coming toward him, he did not tremble for he was a man with nothing left.
** My english is not very good so perhaps this will make no sense. |
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Replies
| Zelda_Zealot |
Jun 21 2005, 07:12 PM
Post
#2
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 Knower  Joined: 9-June 05 From: Summerville SC |
:goodjob: Though it should be "Oblivion" instead of "hell". Other then that I did not see any english errors
 . -------------------- The Sun and Moon transform day to night, but what transforms the mind?
The best techniques are passed on by the survivors. |
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Posts in this topic
Eldar Elestar Jun 21 2005, 06:42 PM
gamer10 No, your English is fine.
Now pleeeaseee write... Jun 21 2005, 06:43 PM Dantrag Is this a story, or like a short poem? I'm confuse... Jun 21 2005, 07:00 PM Eldar Under the dark skies Elestar held his sword agains... Jun 21 2005, 07:04 PM Dantrag Oblivion is often caled hell, if i'm not mistaken.... Jun 21 2005, 07:16 PM Zelda_Zealot Oblivion is often caled hell, if i'm not mistaken.... Jun 21 2005, 07:17 PM Rane Oblivion is often caled hell, if i'm not mistaken.... Jun 21 2005, 07:17 PM Eldar I think i am going to write something larger about... Jun 21 2005, 07:20 PM Zelda_Zealot This would be the best place to do it. http://til.... Jun 21 2005, 07:21 PM Dantrag I like it.
Now that I know it's a story, I can... Jun 21 2005, 07:27 PM Mazuk Its rather interesting and yes the poeticness of i... Jun 21 2005, 09:01 PM Eldar First Part:
Elestar was very young that day, th... Jun 21 2005, 09:02 PM minque Itīs good I think very good.... :goodjob: :goodjo... Jun 21 2005, 09:20 PM Dantrag Itīs good I think very good.... :goodjob: :goodjo... Jun 21 2005, 09:23 PM Eldar I dont understand, i mean the story take place in ... Jun 21 2005, 09:31 PM Eldar i have one question, what or who is jonoajosa ???? Jun 21 2005, 09:34 PM Rane i have one question, what or who is jonoajosa ????... Jun 21 2005, 09:35 PM jonajosa
Care to rephrase that Mr global moderator? ;) Jun 22 2005, 05:46 AM Rane
Care to rephrase that Mr global moderator? ;)
... Jun 22 2005, 10:56 AM treydog Good descriptions, an interesting main character, ... Jun 22 2005, 02:54 PM Zelda_Zealot How come he get Treydog to reply in his thread but... Jun 22 2005, 03:15 PM Eldar Secon Part:
Many came to Elestar`s manor to giv... Jun 22 2005, 05:47 PM Dantrag for one that doesn't know much english, you sure c... Jun 22 2005, 05:50 PM Eldar Believe it or not i "learned" english palying comp... Jun 22 2005, 05:53 PM Dantrag I know a *tiny* but of spanish from spanish class ... Jun 22 2005, 05:58 PM jonajosa
Care to rephrase that Mr global moderator? ;)
... Jun 22 2005, 05:59 PM
Eldar Dont worry i dont know to tipe them either !! :... Jun 22 2005, 06:00 PM |
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