 Elestar |
| Eldar |
 Jun 21 2005, 06:42 PM
Post
#1
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 Retainer Joined: 21-June 05 From: Venezuela...  |
Under the dark skies Elestar held his sword against his chest, his thoughts whiting his blade, he saw them all standing there, like the shadow of a star on a demons heart, with their twisted minds and broken souls. The black armours with red eyes coming toward him, he did not tremble for he was a man with nothing left.
** My english is not very good so perhaps this will make no sense. |
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Replies
| treydog |
Jun 22 2005, 02:54 PM
Post
#2
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 Master  Joined: 13-February 05 From: The Smoky Mountains |
Good descriptions, an interesting main character, and a fine start. As to the "poetic" first part, please continue with that style. Obviously, you don't have to write everything in that fashion, but an occasional description of the the sort you first provided would be most welcome.
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Posts in this topic
Eldar Elestar Jun 21 2005, 06:42 PM
gamer10 No, your English is fine.
Now pleeeaseee write... Jun 21 2005, 06:43 PM Dantrag Is this a story, or like a short poem? I'm confuse... Jun 21 2005, 07:00 PM Eldar Under the dark skies Elestar held his sword agains... Jun 21 2005, 07:04 PM Zelda_Zealot :goodjob: Though it should be "Oblivion" instead ... Jun 21 2005, 07:12 PM Dantrag Oblivion is often caled hell, if i'm not mistaken.... Jun 21 2005, 07:16 PM Zelda_Zealot Oblivion is often caled hell, if i'm not mistaken.... Jun 21 2005, 07:17 PM Rane Oblivion is often caled hell, if i'm not mistaken.... Jun 21 2005, 07:17 PM Eldar I think i am going to write something larger about... Jun 21 2005, 07:20 PM Zelda_Zealot This would be the best place to do it. http://til.... Jun 21 2005, 07:21 PM Dantrag I like it.
Now that I know it's a story, I can... Jun 21 2005, 07:27 PM Mazuk Its rather interesting and yes the poeticness of i... Jun 21 2005, 09:01 PM Eldar First Part:
Elestar was very young that day, th... Jun 21 2005, 09:02 PM minque Itīs good I think very good.... :goodjob: :goodjo... Jun 21 2005, 09:20 PM Dantrag Itīs good I think very good.... :goodjob: :goodjo... Jun 21 2005, 09:23 PM Eldar I dont understand, i mean the story take place in ... Jun 21 2005, 09:31 PM Eldar i have one question, what or who is jonoajosa ???? Jun 21 2005, 09:34 PM Rane i have one question, what or who is jonoajosa ????... Jun 21 2005, 09:35 PM jonajosa
Care to rephrase that Mr global moderator? ;) Jun 22 2005, 05:46 AM Rane
Care to rephrase that Mr global moderator? ;)
... Jun 22 2005, 10:56 AM Zelda_Zealot How come he get Treydog to reply in his thread but... Jun 22 2005, 03:15 PM Eldar Secon Part:
Many came to Elestar`s manor to giv... Jun 22 2005, 05:47 PM Dantrag for one that doesn't know much english, you sure c... Jun 22 2005, 05:50 PM Eldar Believe it or not i "learned" english palying comp... Jun 22 2005, 05:53 PM Dantrag I know a *tiny* but of spanish from spanish class ... Jun 22 2005, 05:58 PM jonajosa
Care to rephrase that Mr global moderator? ;)
... Jun 22 2005, 05:59 PM
Eldar Dont worry i dont know to tipe them either !! :... Jun 22 2005, 06:00 PM |
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