MerGirl's draft Options

[MerGirl]

Yes, I will post my rough draft very soon. Probably sometime this week or by next Wednesday, when homework is not so demanding. Thank you for lore suggestions and such. I will try to post at least part of Chp. 1 later today, but do not expect great writing. I am awful at grammar, so my drafts may need lots of work, but I love to write.

I'll edit this post when the Chp. 1 draft is almost finished, 'kay?
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EDIT: Little bit of Chp. 1. May need some serious editing. Oh, I would just like an opinion on whether or not this beginning is good to begin the plot of the story and any suggestions would be appreciated. I'll post little by little whenever I can.

Chp. 1
The Bosmer mother rocked her baby roughly whenever it gurgled, becoming more light-headed and giddy. The baby started to cry, for he was hungry, and it was nearly feeding time. However, the Bosmer mother was becoming too drunk to notice, hiccuping and constantly swaying in her seat, blue eyes glazed and her hair unkempt.

She slouched a little in her seat, trying to take in her surroundings. Trying was a lot harder to do with blurry, hazy vision. It was nighttime, and the tavern was crowded and loud. There were all sorts of noises and conversations, low, shushed gossip, shouting, cheering, and drunken talk. People were moving and dancing, or slumped in their seats, sleeping off their hangovers. The nude dancing girls were one of the top main entertainment showings, receiving much comments and approval. (Marigold shouted out her approval as well.) People were drinking, eating, sleeping, or playing darts, while others went upstairs to the bedrooms for other kinds of “entertainment”.

Apparently, the young man sharing the table with the Bosmer girl was interested as well. He moved his chair close to her, and whispered a few lucid suggestions into her ear. Some of these suggestions included a bedroom and leaving the baby behind.

The Bosmer girl did not reply, but giggled instead. She leaned her head back and was about to chug down a bottle of brandy when a male hand roughly snatched it out of her hands. Annoyed, the Bosmer turned her head towards the bottle-snatcher, scowling darkly. Her eyes could not figure clearly, but she could tell that he was a tall Dunmer. “Gif me back my bwandy,” she slurred.

The Dunmer shook his head, his face full of disappointment. “Marigold, here you are, topless and drunk, and offering 'entertainment' ", the Dunmer glared at the young man, who creeped away, “when you are already married—“

“Was married, Dalos!” The Bosmer girl retorted, now more awake and more alert. “He’s dead, dead, dead, dead, dead!” Her voice rose to a shout on the last word, her fist slammed onto the table. “Stupid, stupid, stupid Khajiit! I hate ‘em all!” The baby sobbed a bit, which spurred Dalos to put away the brandy and to take the baby from the drunk Bosmer.

“Marigold!” The Dunmer chided. He leaned towards her whispering, “There’s Khajiit here, and might I also remind you, this tavern is also run by a Khajiit…”

The Bosmer started giggling again. “Especially that rich one I stole from.” Being a loyal member from the Thieves Guild, Marigold enjoyed stealing from others, no matter how rich or poor they are. “That swit deserved it for stealing something of mine.” She chuckled again, despite her Dunmer friend’s concerned expression. She said in a low voice. “I stole some very valuable artifacts from her husband’s chest, and then replaced the artifacts with rocks… The expression on his face…priceless!”

The Dunmer held the baby closely and said sternly, “Didn’t the Thieves Guild teach you not to announce your accomplishments, especially in public places!” Dalos was a secretive type probably because of his occupation as a Morag Tong assassin. “You never know who’s listening!”

“I don’t care!”

“Well, as a friend, I do!” He grabbed her hand not so gently and pulled her up over his shoulder.

The Bosmer’s temper flared. “Put me down! Put. Me. DOWN!” Dalos ignored her, and asked the barkeeper for a room. Some men jeered or winked, obviously thinking of some other suggestive reason why a Dunmer man with a pretty and top-less Bosmer girl draped over his shoulder would request for a bed…

The next morning, Marigold stretched and sat up in bed, sore and grouchy. She glanced at Dalos, who’s peacefully sleeping at the edge of the bed next to her. She traced the line of his delicate cheek and glanced at his muscles, jealous of his strength and beauty. She smiled, grateful for a friend like him. Placing both feet against his half-naked body, she kicked him hard. He fell limply against the floor, but a moment later, he jumped to his feet, instantly awake and a bit miffed.

Marigold smiled sweetly. “Good morning!”

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Okay, that should be only one part of the first chapter, currently writing the second part which should be very important to the plot. Remember, I am not good with grammar, so if you notice any grammar mistakes, please tell me.

[MerGirl]

I'm getting motivated to write again after seeing the fanfiction of awesome fanfics, so hopefully, I will update tiny bit by tiny bit. I just got back from volunteer work, so bear with me. :ashamed: Next week, I may be going somewhere, since it's breaktime from volunteerwork. But the week after next week is another volunteer week, so I may not be on too often that week.

Also, I think I'm encountering writer's block at the moment.

Again, please bear with me. For right now, a tiny, tiny tidbit. Any comments, constructive criticisms, etc. are appreciated. This is still a rough draft, so I may edit/change things from time to time.

Oh, and the picture below is supposed to represent Marigold as I think she would look like.
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[img]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/DigGarden/FlirtyMarigold_7358.gif[/img]
Marigold story cont'd


Dalos glared at her, mouth open to argue, but changed his mind. Then, he remembered something important, something that was nagging at his mind, he acted.

Swiftly, the young Dunmer hurled some clothes at her face. "Put on some decent clothes, you uncivilized animal!" He ordered gruffly and covered his eyes, but a smile was slowly forming on his face.

Marigold sighed, her squeaky voice muffled by the clothing, which now covered her head. "Such a Dunmer thing to say. You're all a bunch of prudes!" She was still grumpy, but relieved that the baby was safe, lying on the piece of blanket that hung from a large nail on the wall. A small feeling of love swelled inside her whenever she thought of the baby.

At least, whenever her mind was not clouded from drunkenness.

As she dressed up, the teenage Bosmer mother herself noticed something. A loud gasp rose out of her mouth as she fitted the dress onto herself. Colors of red bloomed onto her cheeks. “You broke into my house last night and went through my dressers, didn’t you, you little sneak?!”

The Dunmer gently tickled the baby’s toes as he answered in a neutral voice, “I dropped by your house as I was completing my last few writs.” He shrugged, his movement casual. “Nothing to get all in a huff about. Oh, here.” He tossed a pair of fancy high heels onto the bed.

“And here I thought you were an old prude!” Marigold rolled her eyes as she tried to rearrange her messy hair into two neat pigtails. With one hand, she threw a shoe at Dalos, but missed him by several feet.

The baby gurgled suddenly, and Dalos grinned, his teeth almost pure white against his dark skin. “So, what’s his name?” He asked as he held the baby high above his head.

“Feldor, after his father, since you are so interested,” Marigold snapped as she spread out her arms, reaching upwards on her tippy-toes. “Now I demand you give him back to me!”

The Dunmer raised the baby higher, so that the Bosmer couldn’t reach. “Oh, I don’t think so. Not after what had happened last night. I’ll hold onto him until you are both at home, safe and sound.” He frowned darkly at her dress and muttered. “I never noticed that long slit last night…”

Margold put her hands on her hips, indignant. “Why do you keep criticizing my clothes? And are you questioning my parenting?”

Dalos sighed, exasperated. He ran his fingers through his hair as the baby squirmed. “Listen, I’ll escort you on your way home, and, if you’re a good girl, I’ll give him back.”

“Fine. Then start escorting me right now,” she said, opening the door and gestured for the Dunmer to go first.

As she followed him out the room, she noticed a large Khajiit emerging from a room across from them. Her eyes widened in amazement as well awe as she noticed that the Khajiit was much more muscled and taller than any Khajiit she has ever met. He was tall, lithe, but bulging with powerful muscles, and his fur was covered in different patterns of black/brown spots.

What kind of Khajiit is that? She thought, becoming frightened of the furry behemoth nearly hovering over her. Then, her heart nearly stopped when the Khajiit’s piercing green eyes glanced down at her. Oh, why is it staring at me?