My attempt at a story Options

[Konji]

[quote]All around him Konrad could see the effects of fear... the farmers and commoners around him shaking, a sparse few being sick. He could see the effects of fear... the fear that stays concealed in the heart of every man, and decides on the opportune moment to drop it payload. He could feel the effects of war... the degrading monstrosity of it, the thing that leads all men to doom nomatter what the outcome.
It was time. the men shuffled off the carriage to the cries of the men-at-arms and imperial knights around them. Cries of "for the emperor!" could be heard along the forest that they were to fight in. The imperial nobles had decided on who to pick to fight for them, young men had the best chance to survive. They were all handed short swords, a lot of them rusty and worn, and in his hands Konrad's sword became a pile of dust seeping through his fingertips like the sands of time.
The few men in his group charged through the forest, dodging branches and logs, and clashed into a group of daedra. Konrad held back while his friends were slowly defeated. At the last moment he hurtled through the air, knocking a (insert thing that looks like a lizard with the two legs' name here) away from the last survivor of the fight. Konrad fell too, but got to his feet and pounced on the (insertname) poking at its eyeballs and ripping out its teeth.
Konrad rolled away as the (insertname) thrashed about, slicing another one of its species neck open and a blood fountain sprayed over his face. Konrad scurried for one of the swords the others had, and sliced at the last attacking (insertsamenamehere). He sliced at it, but was easily dodged and thrown into a trunk, the bark ripping down his shirt. the thing advanced on the vulnerable redguard that was left. All he could do was cry for help and try to stand up, but his legs would not hold him. Konrad picked himself up from the damp floor and threw his knife at the lizard. -|==> "Bugger!" The knife clashed against the trunk of a smooth tree and flew off sideways into the gloom of the night. Konrad watched helplesly as the redguard was devoured and turned into a true redguard.
The (insertname) slowly turned its head towards Konrad, the crimson blood dripping off it jaw and clashing with the green of the grass. Konrad did the most honourable thing he could... ran. He kept running, and ran all the way back to cyrodiil. He never stopped but snatched food from the windows of houses that he passed. He reached cyrodiil and ran to the palace. He kept running through the palace until he came out through the other side and smacked into an imperial guard. That was where he stopped running. That was where he stopped moving. That was the exact place where his lungs collapsed and his heart gave up, and where his tongue lay limply from his mouth.

Though he was moved. He was moved into one of the cells in the palace and left to become a skeleton...they say that they put him in a cell with a secret passage. Maybe you've seen him?[/quote]

This is my attempt and it was mainly for fun, so don't even think of flaming me. :<

[Harry Dresden]

This is in reply to the very first part!

The writing itself is alright, certainly not bad. With a little practice, you could probably get pretty good. :shrug: Some of the writing seems a little force/old, like the first paragraph and the stuff about fear is interesting, but could take a revision. Just describe the fear in a slightly different way... but it's still good anyway.

There's no way a small group of warriors can take on a singles daedroth, much less a group of Daedra. Although, maybe they could... I'm no expert.

The Redguard thing was cheezy. Plz take that out!

Final note: unfortunately, this is just another action scene, and there are plenty of those. If you are going to do action, you need to be as creative as possible instead of "slash, slash, blood, blood fountain" (that's sort of a general rule, anway...). Although, you said yourself, this is just a try at writing, you're not actually trying to make a book/short story right now. Just keep up the hard work!

(that smiley face looks kinda weird on this forum... too bad...)

I might read the rest of your stuff later, I just gotta go now...