Chapter 1 - Stormcrow RisingWhat a great way to begin the story! January meditiating was a great way to tell us more about her character, we know she's spiritual in a sense, and very attuned to nature. A confirmation of this was the
Introduction to Wicca book.
"The nice, neat suburban teens and adults that occasionally walked past were far from hard core. Nor were even the fuzzy, scruffy ones. They might be killers in Sword Science Online or World of Guncraft, but hardly in the real world." The Legendary keyboard warriors! This had me chuckling quite a bit!
Jan had quite an audience as she meditated! Seeing the crows gather around her was pretty neat, and definitely shows that there's something special about our heroine.
"For not the first time, she wished for a better tablet, with a larger screen. Or even for an actual laptop. But the Fire 7 was all she could afford. Once it had been on sale for nearly half off that is. As with everything else in her life, she just had to make do with what she could scrounge up."This stood out to me. I'm assuming Jan is young and living in modest means. I can tell she's adaptable and improvises as she goes along.
I'm already starting to like Avery! Reminds me of a good friend of mine.
"Visit? If one of those birds sat down on my shoulder, I'd be worried. That's like, a bad omen or something."Indeed, bad omens and uh, bird presents
"I know they were bandits," January said, "but raiders sounds better. It's more... menacing. Besides these raiders are cannibals."
"Now we're talkin'!"
"And their leader is the champion of a dark, alien goddess. I even have a name for her already - Manaha. She's based on the Native American Wendigo lore. Somewhere in here I've got to use the word 'tenebrous'."
This was a refreshing passage, and did bring me back to your previous works/version on the
Magnificent Seven. Ah,
Tenebrous. I love using that word, don't you?
Despite being able to influence the weather, she has no control over the outcome. This was a great way to show her abilities, as well as her past history with bullies. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" doesn't really ring true, not entirely, especially not in her case. I think we may see some more of this further along? Perhaps the bullies had an effect on her that influenced who she is now? I'm curious to see where this will go!
Can't wait to see more of Jan/Stormcrow and Avery/Gadget! I'll return to catch up on the rest!
This post has been edited by Darkness Eternal: Aug 6 2019, 02:31 AM
And yet I am, and live—like vapours tossed.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below—above the vaulted sky.”