Konrad's story Options

[Konji]

I thought I would give it you in bitesize pieces...as I find them easier to read.


-----------------------Konrad’s Story-----------------------
Konrad woke up, slowly opening one of his eyes. He covered his face with his hand, the light of the midday sun burning his eyes. He pushed his bed covers down, his shiny leather tunic visible now. He never really changes his clothes, but has them washed immediately. He got up, sighing and brushing his coal black hair from his eyes.

“Where is father?” Konrad called down as he descended the antique wooden stairs.

“He is already at his school opening, but I didn’t want to wake you,” his mother replied, frowning as she looked up from her lunch. Picking up a slice of bread Konrad broke free of the confinement of his house, blinking ferociously at the revealed light. He looked around, still amazed at the artistry of the buildings surrounding him. He spent many an hour gazing out of the small opening in his room, just marvelling at the wonders of the architects and builders.

He glanced at the position of the sun to confirm his thoughts. “It is late in the day…I must get there if I am to pass the trials,” Konrad mumbled to himself. He raced through the backstreets of the city, passing the many landmarks on the way, and eventually reached his father’s dream…The Blade School.

[MerGirl]

Like Fuzzy said, it's very good! Lots of details, me likey!

The only thing that bugs me is the 'The beast of a man was about 6’4”'. I hate it when they do this in stories. How does the character himself/herself know almost the exact measurement? How about 'was nearly six feet tall' or something?

Also, 'She wrote in very spidery writing, very hard to read.' Why do we care? Is Konrad looking at it? Do the battle-combatants can not read it? I think this is a bit unnecessary, as it kind of kills the flow of the story, no offense.

Besides those little complaints, the story's well-written, very detailed, and action-packed so please keep up the good work!