Indeed! Court mage feels like a very vital position for the Jarls, and they usually are very prominent figures.
Chapter XXII – Conjuring DemonsThere emitted a brief flash of purple light behind Gwyn and the next thing she heard was Linneá squealing with delight at an unexpected visitor. She threw herself bodily into Serana’s arms and when their lips locked together, they remained that way for some time while Gwyn busied herself with facing another direction.
Serana just dropped in on us, she thought to Cain.
I can’t believe it took her that long.
Oh? How’s that going? came the unsurprised reply.
I’ll let you know when they come up for air.Gwyn sought around for a rock to sit on. A largeish flat stone waited for her about ten feet away, and so she melted the snow off with her new warming spell and took a seat. Luckily, Linneá and Serana seemed to remember that she was also there and joined her side with sheepish expressions on their faces.
“Sorry, Gwyn,” said Serana, her cheeks filled with a touch of pink. “But that was overdue.”
“It’s fine,” waved Gwyn idly. “Linn had to deal with Cain and I already, so fair’s fair. What brings you to our little slice of Oblivion that is these stupid [censored] mountains?”
“Just needed to see Elle before I burst.”
“I’m glad you did. She talks about you endlessly, ya know,” said Gwyn.
“Does she now?”
“Hey, I’m still here!” Linneá interjected.
“For the moment,” winked Serana. “Why don’t you throw up your tent and muffle the inside for a bit?”
Gwyn groaned loudly. “Ugh. At least summon Kyne to sit with me while you two get caught up. Not being able to hear you only helps so much.”
“She’s on her way,” said Linneá as she summoned the tent and disappeared inside of it with her wife.
True to her words, Kyne soared down from the cloudy, grim looking sky and alighted gently on the ground next to Gwyn. The light blue and impossibly soft robes she donned seemed to mock the harsh air of early winter in the Reach and made Gwyn long for the warmth of spring.
“Let’s take a walk,” she said to the goddess. “I’m not convinced Linn’s spell will be strong enough to block them out.”
“That sounds lovely, dear,” said Kyne. “I’m pleased your comfortable enough to call me for this sort of thing.”
They walked away from the makeshift campsite in relative silence. To Gwyn’s surprise – and for the first time since that stressful first day at Elysium – she realized there was no longer any anger towards Kyne burning within. Instead, she felt glad to have her company, and she wondered when that had changed. It certainly wasn’t her first impromptu visit while Gwyn traveled. In fact, Kyne had shown up many times already, whether it was to check on Cain and Gwyn, or Gwyn and Linneá, but Gwyn typically felt a slight annoyance at her sudden arrivals.
Might it have something to do with her quick willingness to aid with that arrow wound? Cain asked her.
Or all the other times mum has offered to help? She did heavily regret what happened…I guess, replied Gwyn.
And I did say that she’d have to earn my forgiveness. I think maybe she did that without me noticing.A short way into their walk, Kyne spoke up and ended the candid silence. “How’s Cain faring? I assume you two are conversing?”
“He’s fine,” said Gwyn. “Bored to death on that ship, but otherwise in good spirits.”
She came to a stop alongside the river and sat down on another flat rock. The icy and clear waters burbled gently downstream towards the occupied tent that was still within sight should something happen, but they were well out of earshot. Kyne took a seat on another rock opposite of Gwyn and smiled kindly at her.
“Something on your mind, dear? Besides Cain, of course.”
“Um. Yeah, sort of.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
“No, not really. Actually… well, I suppose you already have.”
“Oh?”
Gwyn fidgeted with a loose button on her overcoat. She wasn’t sure what she was so nervous about. Kyne was a huge part of her life now, and despite their tumultuous start, the goddess’ presence in her life had already brought with it an intimate familiarity. But there were still times when the realization that she regularly spoke with one of the Nine Divines reared its head and made her mind spin.
And Gwyn never once dreamed that
she would be granting clemency to one of
them.
“So… about what happened between us,” she began, taking the plunge.
Kyne’s face fell. “Gwyn, we don’t have to talk about that if you’re still upset. I know what I did was wrong and you were right to be angry. All of you were.”
“That’s just it. I don’t feel that way anymore, Kyne. I told you back then that I understood why you did it and that I just needed time to deal with it. Since then, I’ve grown to appreciate a lot about who you are and what you do for us. For
all of us. I guess what I’m saying is… I forgive you. Just don’t expect me to start calling you ‘mum’ or anything like that. And for the love of the gods; please stay out of my [censored] head unless I invite you in!”
The look of pure happiness that Gwyn’s words elucidated nearly melted the snow covering the ground about them. Kyne cleared away grateful tears with the sleeve of her robes and resisted the overwhelming urge to hug the tiny woman to her breast as tightly as possible.
“You have no idea how much that means to me, Gwyndala. And you may call me whatever you please!”
To the goddess’ further surprise, it was Gwyn herself who then stood up and invited Kyne into an embrace.
I love you, Gwyn, whispered Cain.
And I’m glad you found peace with her.
-----
Kyne had already departed when Linneá’s tent opened and she emerged with Serana in tow, both of them panting slightly. They sat around the fire Gwyn just finished lighting and shared a canteen of water between them.
“Did you get it out of your system?” she teased.
“[censored] no,” grinned Linneá. “And don’t sit there and pretend you wouldn’t be doing the same thing with my brother right now if you could, Gwynnie. I’ve seen the lust in your eyes when he is around.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“Did Kyne leave already?” asked Serana. “I’m surprised she didn’t stick around to see us.” She eyed Gwyn warily from behind the nearly emptied canteen. “You two didn’t butt heads again, did you?”
“Why, Serana! I’m shocked that you would suggest such a thing!” mocked Gwyn. “Absolutely shocked!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, sis,” said Serana. “No need to get silly about it. You and Kyne just have a history is all.”
“I know. Which is why I’ve forgiven her. I’m still all warm and tingly inside from when she hugged me.”
Both Linneá and Serana looked gobsmacked. Apparently, neither of them had expected such a sudden turn of events and assumed that Gwyn must have been harboring a deep grudge over the wedge Kyne had driven between them some weeks ago. Then Linneá thought to herself that she should have picked up on it based on how willingly Gwyn requested the goddess’ presence.
“That’s wonderful to hear, Gwyn,” beamed Linneá. “We figured you were still trying to deal with that.”
“I did struggle with it for a while,” admitted Gwyn. “But your brother has a thing against grudges, and it’s been rubbing off on me. And I know I come across as a bitch most of the time but that doesn’t mean I’m an asshole.”
Linneá giggled and rolled her eyes. “What a thoroughly Gwyn way to phrase such a thing. Never change, sis. We love you just the way you are.”
“That having been said,” Serana began. “Elle and I did want to talk to you about something a little grimmer. Only if it’s okay with you, that is,” she added.
“My magic? Knew we’d get there eventually.”
Gwyn was surprised it took this long for them to bring it up. Granted, Linneá had only recently witnessed it for the first time, but she assumed Cain would have spoken to them about it before. A part of her was pleased that he hadn’t, and it made Gwyn love him that much more for continuously respecting her boundaries. Especially with it being a sore subject that rested on the fringes of her thoughts more than usual lately.
“I don’t know what I expected, Gwyn, but it wasn’t what I saw when those bandits attacked us. The level of gruesome carnage just seemed so, I don’t know, effortless for you? Like you were just going to cast a simple burst of fire or something.”
“That
is all I tried to do,” sighed Gwyn. “I never learned how to cast anything other than that and a novice-level fire cloak. But once the intent is put into the spell, it’s like my instincts take over and I have to end the threat at all costs.”
“And it stems from…” Serana couldn’t bear to say the words aloud.
“Yeah.”
The silence that followed outweighed anything further Linneá or Serana wanted to say. While Linneá knew that she could never begin to understand the depths of Gwyn’s trauma and how it twisted her magick into the brutally efficient form she defended herself with, her closeness with Serana did allow her to sympathize. But neither of them, nor even Gwyn herself, had figured out how to begin the healing process.
“Gwyn, do you ever try to talk about it with Cain?” asked Linneá. “I mean really talk about it in way that could maybe let you parse out how the, um, events have affected you on a subconscious level.”
“We have. And since he joined our minds, Cain has felt the full brunt of what makes me tick, including the feelings of hatred when I killed that bandit.” Gwyn bowed her head to wipe away tears that sprung unbidden to the corners of her eyes. “Truth be told, I had really hoped that letting him in there with me would have helped bring me some peace of mind. And I am happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life, but at the end of the day all I still think about is ‘what the hell is wrong with me?’ or ‘will I be broken forever?’.”
“Sis, you’re not broken – “ Serana began before Gwyn cut her off.
“Easy for you to say. You don’t hate yourself.” She raised an upturned palm and filled it with crimson magicka, the eddies of corrupted destruction dancing captivatingly. “You’ve no idea how many times I thought about using this on myself to end the pain. The misery. But something always kept me going. And then your brother stumbled into my life and brought all of you with him. I love him and I love all of you and yet it still isn’t enough. Then I met your daughter and every part of my being cried out to have a child of my own; and that’s the only straw I have left to grasp before giving up on ever being whole again.”
Linneá filled her own palm with an aura of white and gold that streamed forth and snuffed out the violent spell Gwyn conjured. She had no idea how to comfort her any further, but the seeds of an idea began to take root in the back of her mind, and she quietly summoned their guardian angel for the second time that afternoon.
We’ll keep trying, Cain spoke into Gwyn’s mind.
Every chance we get. You deserve everything I can give you, even if you don’t feel the same way yet. And I’m really proud of you for opening up to my sisters like that. I have something for you the next time we see each other.It won’t be soon enough. I miss you more and more every second.Knowing that Kyne’s arrival would take a bit longer this time, Serana called up her own chest and fished out a bottle of brandy. She poured out a full tankard’s worth and passed it to Gwyn who warmed it over the fire for a few seconds.
“I know spirits aren’t the way to deal with something like that, but sometimes it’s still warranted.”
“I’ll take it,” said Gwyn. “And thank you for not trying to appease or coddle me. I’ll either get through this, or I won’t, but it won’t be for lack of trying.”
“About that…” said Linneá.
Gwyn groaned again and eyed her with apprehension. “I know that tone, Linn. What are you up to?”
“You know me too well. Kyne is on her way and she’s bringing a friend of hers. I’m excited to meet her myself, if I’m being honest. Even Cain got to meet her already.”
Before she could dwell on that, Gwyn’s eye caught sight of the hawk dropping down towards them with another bird soaring at beside her wingtips: a pure white dove. They dropped to the earth, morphing into the mortal forms the Windborne’s were accustomed to seeing. Their goddess Kyne with the same blue robes, tall with auburn hair and green eyes. And the Lady Mara, wearing a brilliantly white yet altogether humble smock, her long blonde hair trailing down her back, and blue eyes resting just beneath improbably perfectly cut bangs.
“Hello, my child,” said newcomer. The timbre of her voice was so beautifully airy that it made Gwyn’s heart skip a beat. “My name is Mara. I understand you are having a difficult time with certain aspects of who you are? Let us take a walk so that we may come to know one another.”
“Holy [censored],” breathed Gwyn. “I swear, this [censored] family...”