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Burnt Sierra
post Jul 17 2005, 08:00 PM
Post #1


Two Headed cat
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Joined: 27-March 05
From: UK



I thought it might be nice to have a place where members can post up some examples of their poetry. Usual rules apply, no flaming, no spam etc. I would also ask, if you're going to comment on a poem, not to just do a one line reply, along the lines of, "yeah, thats cool." Nothing is more soul destroying than putting up a piece of yourself, and then getting a response with no thought behind it. Anyway, this is one I wrote a couple of months ago, and with the departure of Sinder today, I'd like to post this up as it sums up my feelings quite accurately.

As you leave
the birds, who've been patiently perched on my window sill
fly up in unison
heading towards the sunset
heralding the darkness to come.
Golden shades of summer start to fade
as the night sneaks in
stripping my colour away.

And so I sit here.
Lit in a room of false hope.
The light of a smoke, burning into ash.
The glow of a screen, showing words in black and white.
Choking on my tears.
We've lost some of our sparkle
with one less star glinting in the sky.
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Wurlon
post Oct 29 2005, 02:09 AM
Post #2


Knower
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Joined: 25-August 05
From: Pennsylvania, United States



I'm too emotionless at this point of time, but I have come up with four lines that someone could use...

When I smile, humans make me frown.
When I frown, people make me smile.
Nothing but hate puts me down,
Life seems to crash in my aisle.


Sucks yes, but I am sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad.


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Sic Semper Tyrannis
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Posts in this topic
burntsierra   Poetry Thread   Jul 17 2005, 08:00 PM
Stargazey   Some of mine, not that good: Rain falling, coming ...   Jul 17 2005, 11:46 PM
Kiln   Wow thats really good, I don't know much about...   Jul 18 2005, 12:03 AM
Stargazey   Thanks for the nice commetns, Kiln. :D   Jul 18 2005, 12:08 AM
Ze Milanio   My poetry ?? Meh, I burned it down when I was 15 :...   Jul 18 2005, 12:28 AM
Stargazey   Thanks :D! Running, running, ever faster Spr...   Jul 18 2005, 01:08 AM
gamer10   Well done indeed, that last poem reminds me of my ...   Jul 18 2005, 04:35 PM
Stargazey   Thanks. :O Some more. Edit: Some more....   Jul 18 2005, 07:42 PM
burntsierra   17 November, 1980 I was six when I lost my cousin...   Jul 19 2005, 11:47 PM
Stargazey   Wow. That was just...wow......That was good. WOW.   Jul 19 2005, 11:56 PM
minque   I told you on the chat yesterday what my feelings ...   Jul 20 2005, 08:53 AM
Fuzzy Knight   This is good stuff lads.. ;) Very nice..!   Jul 20 2005, 10:19 AM
Darkwing   I have to agree. thats some really good stuff. i h...   Jul 20 2005, 12:31 PM
Stargazey   I can't top Sierra's, but here's somet...   Jul 22 2005, 12:11 AM
Stargazey   She sits in her car, As it passes me by I raise my...   Jul 22 2005, 01:51 AM
Stargazey   City of dreams, City of schemes City of my birth C...   Jul 22 2005, 02:03 AM
Stargazey   Tears, Streaming down my face Feelings are empty, ...   Jul 22 2005, 02:25 AM
Stargazey   Orphaned Son Left all alone, By parents unknown L...   Jul 22 2005, 02:26 AM
Kiln   Now I don't normally care for poetry but this ...   Jul 22 2005, 03:04 AM
Darkwing   Looking to the stars, The pain creeps through me. ...   Jul 22 2005, 10:30 AM
Stargazey   Nice, Darkiwng. :goodjob:   Jul 22 2005, 01:24 PM
burntsierra   Indeed, and may I say how nice it is to see you ...   Jul 22 2005, 04:37 PM
Chumbaniya   I would post my own, but it doesn't exist. Unf...   Jul 23 2005, 10:49 PM
Stargazey   The first in a series of poems: To see you, stand...   Aug 4 2005, 03:01 PM
Fuzzy Knight   Wow... I know someone that have felt that one bef...   Aug 4 2005, 03:09 PM
Megil Tel-Zeke   yes I agree. i only have a problem with the line ...   Aug 4 2005, 03:11 PM
Stargazey   Thanks :D. As I said, it's the first in a se...   Aug 4 2005, 03:16 PM
treydog   This is one I wrote a couple of years ago. It is ...   Aug 12 2005, 02:07 AM
Kiln   Nice work everyone. :) Poetry isn't something...   Aug 12 2005, 02:27 AM
Stargazey   That's really good, Treydog. :goodjob: Here...   Aug 12 2005, 02:46 AM
minque   I must say I am very impressed of all good poetry ...   Aug 12 2005, 03:31 PM
ED 209   The Roses by ED 209 I WANDER'D lonely as a cl...   Sep 7 2005, 09:27 PM
Chumbaniya   Simply amazing ED 209 :P (pssst - try taking out t...   Sep 7 2005, 10:42 PM
ED 209   No a serious poem now! It's about my life ...   Sep 8 2005, 07:13 PM
DoomedOne   Okay I have two poems, here's one: For Tomorr...   Sep 9 2005, 10:16 PM
Wurlon   Swords, Axes, Halberds And Bows! All To Slaugh...   Sep 10 2005, 06:44 PM
Ratwar   Untitled I sit here and look at you, While you lo...   Sep 26 2005, 03:36 PM
Wurlon   Here's a ballad I wrote for school not too lon...   Sep 30 2005, 04:40 AM
Kindred Spirit   Stargazey- Your poems are very... haunting. Someth...   Oct 12 2005, 05:14 AM
DoomedOne   My latest, beautiful poem. "If you" If...   Oct 28 2005, 01:49 AM
Kindred Spirit   "Stranger in a Stranger Land" Once fou...   Oct 28 2005, 05:24 AM
Kindred Spirit   Why? Something bad happen? As long as we're ...   Oct 29 2005, 03:04 AM
Wurlon   Maybe, I do not feel like sharing.   Oct 30 2005, 12:01 AM
Momaw   Here's the only poetry I ever wrote. Angsty te...   Oct 30 2005, 08:49 AM
Kindred Spirit   "Loneliness" Loneliness is reality, Fri...   Nov 9 2005, 09:26 AM
gamer10   Some freeform poetry, mushy stuff, and rather jumb...   Mar 3 2006, 11:00 PM
Sir Radont   And thence from the land of doctor Seuss Where the...   Mar 4 2006, 08:25 AM
redsrock   Since this is not TES I will post it here. Just re...   Mar 27 2008, 09:31 AM
BSD-IES   Hm, I was going to move this the poetry thread, bu...   Mar 27 2008, 01:59 PM
redsrock   Thanks, BSD. I was just a little pissed off and th...   Mar 27 2008, 02:52 PM
redsrock   Dos anyone have a comment for this? BSD, you can ...   Mar 27 2008, 10:17 PM
DoomedOne   I'm glad no one reads these poems. What's...   Apr 1 2008, 05:31 AM
0rimus   Hmmm, lots of classic rhyming. Hope this POS isn...   May 26 2008, 08:27 AM
0rimus   Another one writen when I was seven, with a little...   May 26 2008, 08:42 AM
0rimus   You are what you eat, and I have tasted the flames...   May 26 2008, 08:59 AM
0rimus   Prarbola Nexus, When One Is Made one is made two...   May 26 2008, 09:08 AM
0rimus   On This Night I see her this night, her face beau...   May 26 2008, 10:00 AM
ucandelicious   As they stormed the city, she watched in horror Me...   May 27 2008, 01:03 AM
DoomedOne   I wrote this poem to make you happy Because I deci...   Jun 3 2008, 10:50 PM
DoomedOne   If we are the experiencers Then is the experience ...   Jun 3 2008, 10:52 PM
bbqplatypus   Here's a poem I wrote about - well, I'll s...   Nov 5 2008, 09:54 PM
seerauna   I'm feeling sad right now so here's a few ...   Nov 6 2008, 02:32 AM
treydog   The Homeward Turn During summer vacations, I rode...   Dec 1 2008, 12:13 AM
seerauna   This is something my friend Caitlyn wrote for me. ...   Dec 19 2008, 08:35 PM
Zalphon   The Moonwalker I walk in the shadows, I stare a...   Dec 7 2010, 03:36 AM
mALX   Zalphon, you have such a rare gift!!!...   Dec 7 2010, 04:45 AM
saqin   Some really amazing poems here, though I've on...   Jan 30 2011, 05:00 PM
Acadian   Nice job, saqin! Most poetry simply makes my ...   Jan 30 2011, 05:23 PM
Zalphon   Very well written.   Jan 30 2011, 07:45 PM
mALX   WOO HOO Saqin !!! Awesome!!...   Jan 31 2011, 05:40 AM
Saquira   Someone said once, here on chorrol, that every one...   Mar 20 2012, 09:11 AM
treydog   Saquira- there is so much power and grief there. ...   Mar 20 2012, 12:17 PM
Saquira   treydog: I'm glad I was able to convey those f...   Mar 26 2012, 04:25 PM
King Of Beasts   Night Of The Hunter As I stand in the cold of nig...   Dec 18 2012, 04:52 AM


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